I hope I don't sound ungrateful, but...

[chloecro]

Some of you may remember me from my previous posts. My bf and I have been looking at rings/stones for awhile. I'm getting depressed/discouraged/exhausted with this whole ring process, which is supposed to be a joyful experience, right?

OK: Originally we had a 65K budget, and I have my heart set on a 2.5+ RB Tiffany-style ring.

I have urged my bf to do his homework on PS a million times, as well as realistically consider the budget for my ring before I got super excited (which I have over and over again-- stupid me.) He originally wanted to get from Tiffany, and then we checked out GOG, HW, Michael C. Fina, and some other places. I found several stones that I got excited about, only to have him come back and say, "Can't do it. They aren't giving me as much as I had hoped. They don't have a payment plan more than 6 mos" Now, here's where my frustration lies: Had he done any homework , he would have known that that's not how it works with diamonds. I asked and asked for him to plleeeez do some homework before we went shopping.

Lo and behold, despite my urging, he failed to consider how he was going to afford a 65K ring. That's the range he gave me, so I assumed he had been saving or whatever. He was going to go into his retirement (!) which I quickly put an end to. I realize a stone that size is a lot of $. I'm 38-- he's younger, so I don't guess I'm in more of a hurry to do this. I know he wants to marry me, and I haven't pressured him at all whatsoever. He's the one who asked without my having a clue it was coming.

But I keep feeling like he's "teasing" me with rings and stones, dangling them, only to say "Woops. My bad."
Each and every time I've said, "Now are you sure this stone, place, etc. is doable?
If not, we'll wait." I realize I might be the stupid one, continuing to get excited and thinking this time's different, but I'm getting so sad and frustrated. We've been talking about a ring and marriage for months and months.

Now the range is @ 25K. Fine, but I'm having a hard time finding a stone in the size I want, etc. I've looked at jewels by Erica Grace several times, and it looks like she has some beautiful stones, but I feel overwhelmed by this whole thing now. I would really appreciate if you would help me find a stone that might fit my wants and his requirements. He also suggested we go to Grand Cayman next year to get a stone without paying taxes. We were there last month, and there were some beautiful Hearts on Fire stones @35K. But that wouldn't be until next year-- and me-- 39!!

Again, I don't want to sound ungrateful, but this whole thing has made me feel sad.

There's a stone he wants to look at tonight that he thinks is doable, but I'd appreciate opinions, because I'm not sure how it looks.
Thanks everyone.


Below are the specs. It's GIA, but the report is so dark, I'm not able to upload it.

Round Brilliant
Measurements: 8.9x8.96x5.55mm
2.76c
Color H
Clarity SI2
Cut VG
Polish VG
Symmetry Excellent
Fluor. Faint
Girdle: Thin-Med. faceted
Table: 57.0%
Depth 62.1%
Culet: None

 

[GMUAlum08]

first world problems

now that it has been said, someone with a more insight and expertise can chime in and help you better than I can.

personally I would never even consider buying a stone over two carats even if I had the money to blow so my advice won't be much use to you

 

[mandasand]

It's just a ring - with a budget of $25k, which is very healthy, you can get something lovely. No, it won't be 3 carats, but 1.7, 1.8? There was some posted here recently in that exact budget - $20-22k for the stone, rest for the setting. And, I'm sorry, but you do sound ungrateful. I don't mean to be mean, but you threw it out. So, I'm being honest. And, if you want a HUGE rock so bad, then buy it yourself or contribute your own money to get a bigger stone. If you can't afford it, you shouldn't expect him to.

Edit: Arg, I feel compelled to add this...while you are worrying about trying to find a huge stone for less than the original budget, I am worrying about sending my boyfriend off AGAIN to the sandbox to fight for our freedom. I know this is a diamond forum where people talk about diamonds, but I just don't understand people's priorities. I really do wish you to be happy, but just remember it's not always about the material items but about the people in your life. If you can afford the $25k -or more - or less, great. But, it is only an object. OK, off my soap box!

 

[Haven]

I agree with Mandasand that perhaps you should consider contributing some of your own money on this ring so you can get a larger stone. (I'm personally very much against financing any luxury purchases whatsoever, so I think it's a good thing that you can't finance this stone.)

Do you have something to contribute to this purchase? (And NOT funds from retirement or other savings that is earmarked for something else!)

I have to say, I'm surprised that you didn't know his 65K budget was out of his reach in the first place. Perhaps you two would benefit from sharing more information about your finances, considering you're entering into a marriage together. I think this is a very important detail, especially since you are old enough to have built up some assets of your own, or heaven forbid--to have collected some debts.

All that being said, you can find a beautiful stone and ring at any price point. One of my favorite sets in the entire world belongs to PS member AlloAmie. She has a very modest stone and set, but it is so much more elegant and stunning (IMO) than many of the large stones we see on here. (And I'm a large stone lover, myself.)
https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/my-new-set-does-this-look-ok.115349/

 

[TRIALnERROR]

Some of you may remember me from my previous posts. My bf and I have been looking at rings/stones for awhile. I'm getting depressed/discouraged/exhausted with this whole ring process, which is supposed to be a joyful experience, right?

OK: Originally we had a 65K budget, and I have my heart set on a 2.5+ RB Tiffany-style ring.

I have urged my bf to do his homework on PS a million times, as well as realistically consider the budget for my ring before I got super excited (which I have over and over again-- stupid me.) He originally wanted to get from Tiffany, and then we checked out GOG, HW, Michael C. Fina, and some other places. I found several stones that I got excited about, only to have him come back and say, "Can't do it. They aren't giving me as much as I had hoped. They don't have a payment plan more than 6 mos" Now, here's where my frustration lies: Had he done any homework , he would have known that that's not how it works with diamonds. I asked and asked for him to plleeeez do some homework before we went shopping.

Lo and behold, despite my urging, he failed to consider how he was going to afford a 65K ring. That's the range he gave me, so I assumed he had been saving or whatever. He was going to go into his retirement (!) which I quickly put an end to. I realize a stone that size is a lot of $. I'm 38-- he's younger, so I don't guess I'm in more of a hurry to do this. I know he wants to marry me, and I haven't pressured him at all whatsoever. He's the one who asked without my having a clue it was coming.

But I keep feeling like he's "teasing" me with rings and stones, dangling them, only to say "Woops. My bad."
Each and every time I've said, "Now are you sure this stone, place, etc. is doable?
If not, we'll wait." I realize I might be the stupid one, continuing to get excited and thinking this time's different, but I'm getting so sad and frustrated. We've been talking about a ring and marriage for months and months.

Now the range is @ 25K. Fine, but I'm having a hard time finding a stone in the size I want, etc. I've looked at jewels by Erica Grace several times, and it looks like she has some beautiful stones, but I feel overwhelmed by this whole thing now. I would really appreciate if you would help me find a stone that might fit my wants and his requirements. He also suggested we go to Grand Cayman next year to get a stone without paying taxes. We were there last month, and there were some beautiful Hearts on Fire stones @35K. But that wouldn't be until next year-- and me-- 39!!

Again, I don't want to sound ungrateful, but this whole thing has made me feel sad.

There's a stone he wants to look at tonight that he thinks is doable, but I'd appreciate opinions, because I'm not sure how it looks.
Thanks everyone.


Below are the specs. It's GIA, but the report is so dark, I'm not able to upload it.

Round Brilliant
Measurements: 8.9x8.96x5.55mm
2.76c
Color H
Clarity SI2
Cut VG
Polish VG
Symmetry Excellent
Fluor. Faint
Girdle: Thin-Med. faceted
Table: 57.0%
Depth 62.1%
Culet: None

I would suggest nailing down an accurate budget to work with before getting emotionally attached to any particular stone. Is 25K doable or is 10K more realistic? You're planning on building a foundation that is going to last for a lifetime. I would never advise financing a 60K, 25K or any diamond for that matter as it is a horrible investment. The stone can always be upgraded down the road as your income/assets grow with time. In other words, is it more important for you to have "the diamond" or to get married?

 

[Laila619]

I'd happily take a 25k budget! My DH "only" spent 7k. You'll be able to get a big stone, especially if you go down in color, and if you want maximum finger coverage, you can halo that baby! It'll be huge!

 

[justginger]

First, in terms of quality of stone, there are more details necessary to even be able to run through HCA - those numbers should all be on the GIA report, if you want to have a look. I noticed the cut grade is VG, which most people here will dislike. However, I think it is yssie who has found stones that are great performers but have only received a VG cut grade - just the right combination of angles and percentages. Maybe she will chime in to suggest whether or not the numbers of this stone would meet that criteria. Overall, PSers are warned to stay away from VG cut stones. The standards for EX are already lax enough to let through some less-than-stellar stones, so VG is generally even worse.

However, everyone has their priorities. If you want a LARGE stone on that budget, you simply will not be able to get an ideal cut one. That may mean that in some lighting conditions your large stone actually appears to be the same size as a smaller ideal cut one. But for some people, the size is the bottom line. Does that describe you? Or would you be willing to sacrifice size to obtain optimum cut? Or even color - if you drop way down in color, you'll be able to find a stone of the size you want for the budgeted amount.

And from the personal point of view, I can understand why you are disappointed. I don't think you're being 'ungrateful' - you're not whinging about size, you're whinging about lack of foresight and planning, and really, honesty. That's fair enough. I would be unhappy too, if my partner wasn't willing to do the work necessary to ensure we found an engagement ring that provided us the most value.

As an aside: obviously this is a diamond forum. DIAMOND. Of course it's going to be full of first world problems. Who cares what the budget is, or how big of a stone someone else wants/purchases? If it can be afforded and brings joy, it's no skin off the noses of the peanut gallery. There have been a few critical posts lately - about people choosing to spend a healthy amount of money on a large stone - and it screams sour grapes. It's not nice to criticize diamonds for being 'too small,' nor is it nice to do the opposite. People vary.

ETA: Agree with Haven. I contributed to my own ering so it was exactly what I wanted. Finances should be transparent - you're an adult and headed down the path to marriage. Time to get things sorted out.

 

[Haven]

As an aside: obviously this is a diamond forum. DIAMOND. Of course it's going to be full of first world problems. Who cares what the budget is, or how big of a stone someone else wants/purchases? If it can be afforded and brings joy, it's no skin off the noses of the peanut gallery. There have been a few critical posts lately - about people choosing to spend a healthy amount of money on a large stone - and it screams sour grapes. It's not nice to criticize diamonds for being 'too small,' nor is it nice to do the opposite. People vary.

I'm so glad you said this, Justginger. I've noticed the same thing, critical posts about budgets and how much people spend, but I couldn't find a way to address it in the right manner. I'm so glad you did, so I can just say: Ditto!

 

[farmer gal]

I think you have bigger problems than just a ring here. You should not be pressuring him to buying something more than he can afford. YOU SHOULD NOT BE CHARGING MONEY ON A CARD FOR A RING, IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO SPEND CASH ON IT, YOU ARE SPENDING OUTSIDE WHAT YOU CAN AFFORD. This is America's biggest problem, we want more than we can afford. $25,000 is a very large budget, and if you aren't happy with that there is a problem. And no offense but if I was the guy in this situation and this wasn't enough for you I would be running for the hills.

 

[GemFever]

First, in terms of quality of stone, there are more details necessary to even be able to run through HCA - those numbers should all be on the GIA report, if you want to have a look. I noticed the cut grade is VG, which most people here will dislike. However, I think it is yssie who has found stones that are great performers but have only received a VG cut grade - just the right combination of angles and percentages. Maybe she will chime in to suggest whether or not the numbers of this stone would meet that criteria. Overall, PSers are warned to stay away from VG cut stones. The standards for EX are already lax enough to let through some less-than-stellar stones, so VG is generally even worse.

However, everyone has their priorities. If you want a LARGE stone on that budget, you simply will not be able to get an ideal cut one. That may mean that in some lighting conditions your large stone actually appears to be the same size as a smaller ideal cut one. But for some people, the size is the bottom line. Does that describe you? Or would you be willing to sacrifice size to obtain optimum cut? Or even color - if you drop way down in color, you'll be able to find a stone of the size you want for the budgeted amount.

And from the personal point of view, I can understand why you are disappointed. I don't think you're being 'ungrateful' - you're not whinging about size, you're whinging about lack of foresight and planning, and really, honesty. That's fair enough. I would be unhappy too, if my partner wasn't willing to do the work necessary to ensure we found an engagement ring that provided us the most value.

As an aside: obviously this is a diamond forum. DIAMOND. Of course it's going to be full of first world problems. Who cares what the budget is, or how big of a stone someone else wants/purchases? If it can be afforded and brings joy, it's no skin off the noses of the peanut gallery. There have been a few critical posts lately - about people choosing to spend a healthy amount of money on a large stone - and it screams sour grapes. It's not nice to criticize diamonds for being 'too small,' nor is it nice to do the opposite. People vary.

ETA: Agree with Haven. I contributed to my own ering so it was exactly what I wanted. Finances should be transparent - you're an adult and headed down the path to marriage. Time to get things sorted out.

+ 1

I sympathize with your frustration, getting excited about a stone and then facing disappointment is tough, no matter the size. If your bf can't get his act together to figure out the finances and find the right stone, maybe you should step in and do the work. Which it seems you are doing, so good call on that. I'll also echo Haven though, finances should be more transparent. The process you're describing sounds like a pretty serious problem.

Good luck with your search!

 

[milton333]

So, my observations.

If you buy a stone online, and it ships from a state other than where you live, there's no sales tax. So no need to shop overseas. This is one of the reasons why it doesn't sound like he's really shopping to buy you a diamond.

I don't know your financial circumstances, so I can't really comment on budget. $65k seems like a very large budget. I would never consider financing that large a sum for a piece of jewelry. That's my way of saying that he can't afford to spend $65k. And if he doesn't have $25k lying around, he probably can't afford to spend that much, either. I'm not totally opposed to young people financing an engagement ring when they're just starting out, but for more mature people it's hard to justify long-term financing of a piece of jewelry.

FWIW, I am a woman and the primary wage earner in my relationship. DH bought my original engagement ring when we were 19. I bought my upgrade with a bonus ~ 5 years ago. I'll be buying another upgrade with my own money within the next year. I make more money. It's my piece of jewelry. My desire for a larger diamond is fueled by needs and interests, and I'm funding them. If you're in an income bracket where $65k seems reasonable to you, then I'd suggest that you contribute funds to the purchase. Otherwise, the traditional situation is that you're stuck with whatever your boyfriend can afford (which is almost always less/smaller than what you'd want and wish for).

This is going to sound more like relationship advice, but it doesn't sound like he is motivated to get engaged or married. This forum is filled with men angsting over their choice of ring for their GFs. Yours is a guy who isn't even looking, doesn't have a budget, and apparently has no money saved. You're driving this process, and dragging him along through it. It may be time to have a frank talk about whether the two of you are really in the same place.

If he definitely has a set budget, and it's $25k, we can make recommendations. It's easier to shop from an approved vendor who can provide pictures and light performance images of the stones. It's really challenging to assess a diamond based solely on the numbers you've posted. Moreover, IMO, you're going to need to resign yourself to the size drop from your "dream" stone to what can realistically be provided before you really shop in earnest, because even ideal performers at a $25k size are going to be a disappointment if you've got a $65k-caliber stone in your mind. I'd take some time to come to terms with the new reality before shopping.

 

[tyty333]

I dont think you sound ungrateful...I think you sound like you're tired of him yanking your chain. I hope thats not a pattern
with him. I think you need to sit down with him and figure out a realistic budget. If it were me I would let him know how
you feel about whats been going on.

 

[junebug17]

This is from the Pre-loved section -

[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/forum/preloved-ps-jewels/2-6-ct-ags-triple-000-ideal-round-i-vs2-t173723.html']https://www.pricescope.com/forum/preloved-ps-jewels/2-6-ct-ags-triple-000-ideal-round-i-vs2-t173723.html[/URL]

I for one don't think you're ungrateful - I would feel frustrated under the circumstances too. I think you need to have a serious talk with him about a budget he's comfortable with. If it turns out to be 25k, I think the above stone could be a contender. I for one would be thrilled with a stone this size and quality.

I hope this isn't an indication of other issues in your relationship. You are the best judge of that though. I hope things work out!

edited for typo

 

[chloecro]

Thanks JustGinger.
You hit the nail on the head: It was his utter lack of communication and planning, which I feel takes both people in a relationship.

We HAD talked a lot about budget before starting the process, which was exactly the point of my post.

I see that some of you feel inclined to judge me. Of course I offered to contribute, but I do feel it would have been fair and right for him to communicate from the get-go, which starts with learning something about such a large purchase.

 

[kenny]

Live well below your means.

It sounds like you two need to do a LOT of talking before tying the knot.
After lots of talking you may find out you two may not tie that knot after all - which is MUCH better than untying the knot in few years.

 

[ame]

This is going to sound more like relationship advice, but it doesn't sound like he is motivated to get engaged or married. This forum is filled with men angsting over their choice of ring for their GFs. Yours is a guy who isn't even looking, doesn't have a budget, and apparently has no money saved. You're driving this process, and dragging him along through it. It may be time to have a frank talk about whether the two of you are really in the same place.

I could not have said this any better.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

This is from the Pre-loved section -

[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/forum/preloved-ps-jewels/2-6-ct-ags-triple-000-ideal-round-i-vs2-t173723.html']https://www.pricescope.com/forum/preloved-ps-jewels/2-6-ct-ags-triple-000-ideal-round-i-vs2-t173723.html[/URL]

I for one don't think you're ungrateful - I would frustrated under the circumstances too. I think you need to have a serious talk with him about a budget he's comfortable with. If it turns out to be 25k, I think the above stone could be a contender. I for one would be thrilled with a stone this size and quality.

I hope this isn't an indication of other issues in your relationship. You are the best judge of that though. I hope things work out!

I think I may have posted this stone for you before. It is better than the one you posted. I would buy this one in a second if I desired a stone of that size.

I think you have both learned a lot form this, and it would be a good idea maybe to have some financial counseling before you marry, just so you can develop goals together rather than having other potentially conflicting ideas about spending money and especially in regard to debt with nonessential items.

 

[Haven]

I'm not judging you by suggesting that perhaps you could contribute to the budget, I'm trying to help you find a feasible solution to part of your problem that includes not being able to find a diamond you love in the budget your SO has proposed.

 

[farmer gal]

I am not trying to judge you at all by my post. I have read back your previous posts, such as how to pay for the ring. This is serious advice if you cannot afford to pay cash without dipping in to retirement funds, if you have to dip into a savings account leaving little to no money left, then you are being unrealistic about the budget for your ring. With the economy the way it is anyone could lose their job, so you should have at least a years savings to pay your bills if something should happen. As DS said this is non essential item. I really don't care how much you spend on your ring, as long as you can afford it. Is it fair for him to keep jerking you around, no. I think you need to sit down together and figuire out your finances, bills, etc. before spending any amount on a ring. This is something that should be talked about now before it turns into bigger problems later on. But I know that you don't want your engagement staring out rough from the very beginning.

 

[VRBeauty]

$25,000 is a very large budget, and if you aren't happy with that there is a problem. And no offense but if I was the guy in this situation and this wasn't enough for you I would be running for the hills.

FG - I'm glad you've softened your approach. Personally I thing the OP would be equally justified running for the hills since "the guy" apparently makes promises he can't keep, doesn't do any advance research before committing to a large purchase, has trouble accepting things that don't go his way (like the fact that you can't finance diamonds) and is apparently clueless about his own finances.

That said, chloecro, I do think you and your boyfriend need to do some straight talking about finances, your financial future, and expectations before you progress to the ring. I happen to agree with Haven that a diamond doesn't have to be large to be beautiful, but... if the budget you come up with doesn't meet your expectations, you can contribute from your own funds and/or come up with a plan to upgrade in the future.

 

[Christina...]

I guess I feel a couple of different things. First, I also noticed and commented on a couple of threads about the comments thrown out about other peoples budgets, so I'll reiterate my response by saying that on PS our focus should be on helping people get the most value for their budget, be it $5000 or $50,000. That said, it appears that 65K is well out of your budget, and we will gladly help you find a stone within the budget that you/your bf establish.

Having said all that, I do agree with the poster who commented on the lack of financial knowledge within the relationship. I think it's understandable that you're frustrated with your bf allowing you to believe that he could afford to buy you 65k ring only to again and again tell you that it wasn't possible. However, I knew without a doubt that my DH wouldn't be able to purchase me a 65k ering, long before the conversation of marriage was ever touched upon. So, I do feel that it was a bit naive of you to not have an idea of what your bf could afford. You understand that accepting his proposal means that you're agreeing to spend your life and your finances, both good and bad with each other. I think discussing them openly is a very important conversation that the two of you should have had much before this point in the relationship. You and I are the same age and my DH is also 9 yrs younger than me. I too have had to pull him back to earth after some grandiose plan or idea that he had, but we are a team and we never make purchases larger than a few hundred dollars without discussing it with each other, and we have done that, not since the day we got married, but from the day we realized that we would be sharing our lives together in a way that our choices would affect the other. It's just part of being an adult and responsible for not only yourself but the people you love and whose lives your decisions affect.

Anyway, I'm sounding preachy and I really really don't want to be that person, so I'll just stop. But I would really encourage you to have a frank and open discussion with your bf ow. Not only about the budget for the ring, but also about how the two of you will handle your incomes/assets/savings/bill paying etc in the future. Finances are the number one reason that relationships fail, so it's important to be on the same page early on.

Looking forward to following your journey and seeing the amazing ring that you find! Good Luck!

 

[chloecro]

PS. Junebug,
I love that stone and didn't think it was still available.
Definitely going to look into it and possibly see about making a trip out to SFO.

Thank you!

 

[Mrs.W 514]

I don't think you sound ungrateful. I think you sound confused as to why your bf keeps jerking you around about this ring thing. What would I do? I would sit down with him and get to know each others financial situation. I am also against taking out loans, dipping into retirement, savings or financing luxury purchases, so I would find out how much cash you two have, together, that you could comfortable spend on a ring. Once you have a budget that is financially agreeable to both of you then start the ring search. Looking for a ring is so much more fun when you are looking at stones and setting that could actually become yours, no questions asked. I would also make it clear to your bf that when you get married you two are in this together so he needs to be honest with you.

 

[K9]

I don't think you sound ungrateful. I think you sound confused as to why your bf keeps jerking you around about this ring thing.

Ditto this - and there is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling frustrated and confused. It's time to talk and really get to know the financial situation.

And as justginger said... this is a diamond forum. All there are here are first world problems.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I have given this advice before: Sometimes the engagement and the ring need to be separated.

If you want to get engaged then he can propose with a lollypop, or nothing, or a twist tie Just get engaged!

And then YOU go buy a fabulous ring, which he can contribute to, or not. Whatever works.

Problem solved.

 

[farmer gal]

$25,000 is a very large budget, and if you aren't happy with that there is a problem. And no offense but if I was the guy in this situation and this wasn't enough for you I would be running for the hills.

FG - I'm glad you've softened your approach. Personally I thing the OP would be equally justified running for the hills since "the guy" apparently makes promises he can't keep, doesn't do any advance research before committing to a large purchase, has trouble accepting things that don't go his way (like the fact that you can't finance diamonds) and is apparently clueless about his own finances.

That said, chloecro, I do think you and your boyfriend need to do some straight talking about finances, your financial future, and expectations before you progress to the ring. I happen to agree with Haven that a diamond doesn't have to be large to be beautiful, but... if the budget you come up with doesn't meet your expectations, you can contribute from your own funds and/or come up with a plan to upgrade in the future.

What I meant by that is after you two talk about your finances and if his budget is truly $25,000 and that is what he can afford, than that is what it is. I would not give him the impression that that is not a large enough amount, because that could put some real doubts in his head. And yes, absoltely if you aren't comfortable with his finaces you should run for the hills as well. Once you are married it is not your debt or his debt it becomes both of your debt. I had a close girlfriend of mine get married and they talked about finances before, but he was not honest, she found out when they were trying to get a house loan that he had $60,000 in credit card debt and they were denied. So all I am saying is make sure you both have your financial ducks in a row.

 

[mandasand]

First, there was another poster interested in the pre-loved diamond and the seller never responded.

Second, I knew that my opinion would not be favored because this is a diamond forum. I certainly could care less if someone spends a dollar or a billion dollars on an engagement ring. But, if you "want" a $65k Tiffany's diamond but you know that your BF can't afford it, then yes, you are being ungrateful. HOWEVER, I do believe he jerked you around a little. I'm thinking it wasn't intentional. I don't know, but he probably really wanted you to be happy, even if it was not financially possible for him.

Are you at all opposed to getting something smaller so that you can get a beautiful quality diamond? Upgrades are always possible in the future.

I don't want to be tagged as someone that thinks people with large budgets have the wrong priority, although I may come off that way. I just wanted to point out that it is only an object. Perhaps I'm just not sentimental. Again, I think you'll be able to find something lovely if you're willing to: A) compromise for something smaller or B) pitch in your own money to raise the budget so you can get something bigger.

 

[Laila619]

This is going to sound more like relationship advice, but it doesn't sound like he is motivated to get engaged or married. This forum is filled with men angsting over their choice of ring for their GFs. Yours is a guy who isn't even looking, doesn't have a budget, and apparently has no money saved. You're driving this process, and dragging him along through it. It may be time to have a frank talk about whether the two of you are really in the same place.

I could not have said this any better.

Well, I kind of agree.

But some guys do want to get married, they just aren't interested in jewelry or feel overwhelmed and don't know where to start. He sounds like the latter.

 

[LibbyLA]

This is definitely an off-the-wall suggestion, but you might consider a fancy shape (like an oval, pear, or marquise). A "roval" (chubby oval) can have a similar look to a round, for a lot less money. You should be able to get a ring you love within your budget (whatever that is) but you may have to think out of the box a bit.

liz

 

[TitanCi]

This is going to sound more like relationship advice, but it doesn't sound like he is motivated to get engaged or married. This forum is filled with men angsting over their choice of ring for their GFs. Yours is a guy who isn't even looking, doesn't have a budget, and apparently has no money saved. You're driving this process, and dragging him along through it. It may be time to have a frank talk about whether the two of you are really in the same place.

I could not have said this any better.

Well, I kind of agree.

But some guys do want to get married, they just aren't interested in jewelry or feel overwhelmed and don't know where to start. He sounds like the latter.

I hope he doesn't think it's an easy process and that simply having $25k or $35k or $65k and walking into any B&M store will def. buy the most amazing diamond... that's a set-up for fail!