I am feeling blue

[missy]

How about you?

Sometimes sharing helps to lift spirits.

What do you do to cheer yourself and to feel better?

 

[missy]

Why do I feel blue?

First DF's death. So sad. A life cut short. He was too young.
His poor family. How are they coping. My heart goes out to them.

Secondly the pandemic continues.
Hospitals and healthcare workers overwhelmed.

Thirdly so many unresolved medical issues.
The unknown is scary and the answers are not there.

And my concern for my parents. Who are elderly and frail and this pandemic is making everything more challenging.

Tommy isn't well. Not sure how much longer he will be here. We have lost two darling cats already within the last two years. I cannot bear losing Tommy. But what happens might be out of my hands.

Lots of worries. No real answers. Taking it all one day at a time.

What I try to do (successfully at times and unsuccessfully at other times) is live in the moment.
I occupy my mind with activity. Exercise makes me feel better. But also exacerbates one of my health issues.
A real catch 22.

One day at a time.

How about you.
How are you doing?
How do you make life feel more manageable and maybe a little sweeter?

 

[springerspaniel]

@missy for some reason, this is usually my worst time of year, right up until February or so. I do a lot of winter hiking to help--I think that gets me to be more in the moment. Among other things, having a puppy also has made a big difference this year--it's almost impossible NOT to be in the moment with little Freddie Mercury around. You know you can always text or email me when you're feeling blue. I definitely know the feeling. Love and hugs to you.

 

[GreenPapaya]

I am sorry @missy I have been feeling a bit depressed and blue too. A friend of my nieces' daughter just passed away at 17 years old from covid. The girl's aunt was my brother's ex girlfriend. I don't know her personally, but still feel so very sad.

Alayna Thach’s family speaks about COVID-19 death of 17-year-old: ‘How is this possible?’

The high school senior died Monday of COVID-19, only days after first noticing symptoms and within weeks of her January appointment to get vaccinated.

www.inquirer.com

And my daughter quit college after her first semester and has absolutely no plans to do anything.
A coworker just quit and I have to work through Christmas and New Years even though I'm on leave.
Half my family is still upset with me for not going to my nephew's wedding in November and still haven't spoken to me.
I just take a deep breath and take things one day or hour or sometimes one minute at a time. I go for solitary walks and take photos of nature. I look at jewelry online and read smutty romance novels. Or clean and organize, and declutter. Just try to keep busy until the sadness ease a bit.

I am truly sorry for what you're going through. I hope you're able to find some joy this holiday season.

 

[missy]

@dizzyakira I am so sorry.
No words for such a tragedy.
Keeping you in my thoughts.

 

[missy]

@missy for some reason, this is usually my worst time of year, right up until February or so. I do a lot of winter hiking to help--I think that gets me to be more in the moment. Among other things, having a puppy also has made a big difference this year--it's almost impossible NOT to be in the moment with little Freddie Mercury around. You know you can always text or email me when you're feeling blue. I definitely know the feeling. Love and hugs to you.

Thank you so much @springerspanie. I definitely think the dark short days plays a role for me. But this year so much sadness it is hard to remain upbeat. I agree hiking and being active is everything for me especially now. And the days I have to remain inside (like today) are some of the hardest. I appreciate your friendship very much. XOXO.

 

[Phoenix]

@missy, I'm suffering from similar blues like you are. I hug my fur babies and (regrettably) do online shopping.

{{HUGS}} to you and hope your blues go away.

 

[Phoenix]

I am sorry @missy I have been feeling a bit depressed and blue too. A friend of my nieces' daughter just passed away at 17 years old from covid. The girl's aunt was my brother's ex girlfriend. I don't know her personally, but still feel so very sad.

Alayna Thach’s family speaks about COVID-19 death of 17-year-old: ‘How is this possible?’

The high school senior died Monday of COVID-19, only days after first noticing symptoms and within weeks of her January appointment to get vaccinated.

www.inquirer.com

And my daughter quit college after her first semester and has absolutely no plans to do anything.
A coworker just quit and I have to work through Christmas and New Years even though I'm on leave.
Half my family is still upset with me for not going to my nephew's wedding in November and still haven't spoken to me.
I just take a deep breath and take things one day or hour or sometimes one minute at a time. I go for solitary walks and take photos of nature. I look at jewelry online and read smutty romance novels. Or clean and organize, and declutter. Just try to keep busy until the sadness ease a bit.

I am truly sorry for what you're going through. I hope you're able to find some joy this holiday season.

((HUGS}} to you too.

 

[ZestfullyBling]

Sending a BIG HUG to you @missy . some days are better than others. It’s difficult to stay positive all the time when faced with so much worry and uncertainty. I have good days and bad days too. I have to watch a good drama to help me release my emotions when I feeling too low. An example is me watching “Stepmom’ with Susan Sarandon and Julia Roberts last week. I just couldn’t stop sobbing. there was silent tears gushing,rolling down my face. I couldn’t stop, for like 20min. just me, my tears, and the movie. But I also had moments of laughter. I had no idea but emotionally I needed that. Boy was it a release and relief. It touched me so because I tragically lost my mother at a very young age which left me with a huge whole in my heart. how I cope is I need the emotional release from time to time. I also try to focus on the blessings and love that surround me now. When mind wonders to the deep sadness My hobbies help bring me out of the dark too.

I’m sorry you are experiencing this And Hope you can find some joy to help you through.

 

[missy]

An example is me watching “Stepmom’ with Susan Sarandon and Julia Roberts last week. I just couldn’t stop sobbing. there was silent tears gushing,rolling down my face

OMG such a funny coincidence. We just watched that movie two nights ago. I never saw it before. I cried too. Greg didn't think it was a good movie. LOL but definitely a girl's movie I would say.

I am so sorry you lost your mom at such young age. Big hugs to you.
Thanks for your kind post and for your empathy. And wishing you joy and peace as well.

 

[missy]

@missy, I'm suffering from similar blues like you are. I hug my fur babies and (regrettably) do online shopping.

{{HUGS}} to you and hope your blues go away.

Thank you and big hugs to you. XOXO
And shopping can momentarily ease the pain. I hear you.

 

[PreRaphaelite]

Sending you all the love in the world, @missy

You are treasured, even more so for the depth of feeling you have for others and compassion you have for fragile strangers. It can be no surprise that a soul such as yours experiences a kind of wistful melancholy from time to time. It just shows your heart is open.

 

[missy]

Sending you all the love in the world, @missy

You are treasured, even more so for the depth of feeling you have for others and compassion you have for fragile strangers. It can be no surprise that a soul such as yours experiences a kind of wistful melancholy from time to time. It just shows your heart is open.

Thank you so much for your lovely post and I am sending love and hugs to you too. Best wishes to you and your loved ones. Your kind words brought tears to my eyes. But for once not tears of sadness and pain.

 

[CMN]

I too find watching something sad and ending up sobbing a great release at times. There is a UK TV show that we get sporadically called “The Supervet” - it’s about any orthopaedic vetinary surgeon helping animals. Both sad and uplifting.

 

[seaurchin]

With the blatant insanity going on in the world these days on top of the personal burdens we accumulate as we go through life, it's hard to not be anxious and depressed. But lately a thought keeps popping up in my mind about why would I ever expect things to be all roses and sunshine when that's not how life is. It sounds negative but it weirdly makes me feel better.

 

[tyty333]

I'm sorry @missy . I'm no real help. I know time usually helps to change the situation for better (or for worse). In the meantime, I try
to push things that are bothering me out of my head if its too much for me to handle. Sometimes easier said than done. I've heard
the suggestion to pick a period of time (30 minutes, an hour?) and do all your worrying and fretting in that time frame. After that, let
it go and try to be thankful for all the good things in your life (gratitude). Hope you don't spend too much time feeling blue.

 

[Sprinkles&Stones]

Hugs to you @missy and everyone else who is feeling this way. I too have been feeling down lately. It is comforting to know none of us are alone in our feelings <3 thanks for being open and honest

 

[missy]

I'm sorry @missy . I'm no real help. I know time usually helps to change the situation for better (or for worse). In the meantime, I try
to push things that are bothering me out of my head if its too much for me to handle. Sometimes easier said than done. I've heard
the suggestion to pick a period of time (30 minutes, an hour?) and do all your worrying and fretting in that time frame. After that, let
it go and try to be thankful for all the good things in your life (gratitude). Hope you don't spend too much time feeling blue.

Thank you @tyty333. I am filled with gratitude. I am very fortunate in so many regards. And I truly appreciate that.

I compartmentalize pretty well but it sometimes is challenging when so many things are happening at once. Just found out some bad news about my sister and I am really worried. She made me swear not to tell my mom so I won't because I always keep my word. But this is a heavy burden and I cannot do anything but be there for her.

I appreciate so much in my life. The things that get me down are health issues. That my loved ones friends and family are dealing with and things I am dealing with. Otherwise life is good. But health issues. It is always that. What is that saying. If money can fix a problem it was never really a problem. Truth.

And I appreciate all of you here. Thank you. XOXO.

 

[missy]

Hugs to you @missy and everyone else who is feeling this way. I too have been feeling down lately. It is comforting to know none of us are alone in our feelings <3 thanks for being open and honest

Hugs to you too @Sprinkles&Stones and I agree. Sharing and being honest goes a long way in feeling better. At least it does for me. I hope you feel better soon. I am here for all of you too. You are the best of the best and I appreciate your support and hugs.

 

[missy]

With the blatant insanity going on in the world these days on top of the personal burdens we accumulate as we go through life, it's hard to not be anxious and depressed. But lately a thought keeps popping up in my mind about why would I ever expect things to be all roses and sunshine when that's not how life is. It sounds negative but it weirdly makes me feel better.

I agree completely. I never was one to sugar coat or be a Pollyanna. That is not who I am. I definitely do not expect sunshine and roses all the time. LOL I would settle for just some peace of mind some of the time. Life is hard. Life is challenging. But it is also worthwhile. It's just some times an uphill battle. Thank you for sharing. (((Hugs))).

 

[missy]

I too find watching something sad and ending up sobbing a great release at times. There is a UK TV show that we get sporadically called “The Supervet” - it’s about any orthopaedic vetinary surgeon helping animals. Both sad and uplifting.

I will check it out though anything doing with animals that ends badly I cannot bear. So I will need to be careful. After March of the Penguins (when they let the baby die) I swore off all animal movies. But I get what you mean. Both sad and uplifting. I love those kind of movies. As long as no animals die.

 

[jaysonsmom]

((((((Hugs)))))))) @missy. I have been through years of holiday blues, but you would never know from my online persona. I commend you for baring your soul and still being so uplifting to other PS posters while you are going through your own personal woes.

I have found that redirecting my sadness and praying for, caring for others in worse predicaments helps me lift my spirits, and make me feel less depressed. I always try to schedule things such as volunteering/serving at shelters, giving blood, adopting a family for Christmas etc. I have 5 friends going through cancer treatments right now, the oldest is 83, the youngest my kid’s childhood BFF who is only 17. I send funny videos/jokes to these friends, or texts of encouragement every couple days to let them know they are being thought of….

You have been that PS friend to many of us @missy. I hope you know that!

 

[rainydaze]

I'm sorry @missy. Hugs.

Different things work at different times for me. I try to give myself the space to embrace my feelings and follow my needs (I suspect you do the same). Sometimes that means watching murder shows on tv (i.e. distraction, it could be worse, and they are (usually) solved so i get a projected sense of resolution), sometimes it means watching old beloved favorites that surround me with comfort (Friends, Gilmore Girls, The Office, Schitt's Creek, etc.), sometimes it means thoroughly cleaning my house/purging a space/rearranging my spaces (sense of accomplishment and calm which offsets the low), sometimes it means releasing that emotion with a good bitch session and a cry. And always having that cup of coffee to look forward to making and savoring, warming my soul literally and figuratively. Sometimes they just help pass the time until the universe sees fit to lift my mood a bit, sometimes they actually help.

Having unanswered, persevering health issues is so draining. Mentally, physically, emotionally. It sure doesn't leave you with much in the reserves to handle all the other crap life is throwing your way.

 

[lilmosun]

You are not alone ((hugs)). As mental health is important to physical health, it's good to be open about the toll all of this is taking.

It occurred to me the other day that for first time since Covid hit, I feel stressed.

I've been lucky from the start with the ability to work from home and afford delivery. Kids are grown so no worries about schools, etc. Covid was a massive killer, especially for the elderly. As such, it was no-brainer that I would stay in lockdown so I could visit my mom who was doing the same. I was just grateful that my father, who was in a nursing home for his last few months passed away just before Covid hit. He would have never understood why we weren't visiting.

Even when my mother had her stroke, I think the need to take charge made me feel somewhat in control...and we had just gotten vaccinated which was a relief as we went from lockdown to being in hospitals/rehabs and having home care in the house. Remote work (due to covid) allowed me to stay and care for her without any stress on that front.

Then things started to feel somewhat normal once she got to the point where she could go out- socializing/going out was fine as long as we masked indoors. We took a few trips, she gained back some of her independence and I was looking forward to returning to the office in late January.

And now with the latest surge, for the first time I feel anxious with uncertainty and a real loss of control between work and caring for my mom. My mom looks for me to make decisions for her but I tell her that she needs to decide how she wants to live her life given the facts. Decisions are not as clearcut as they once were to me. But I remind myself that mine are first world problems and what I am feeling now is nothing compared to what others have been struggling with over the past two years (and continue to struggle with).

Wishing you a happy and much needed holiday with your parents.

 

[TooPatient]

I will check it out though anything doing with animals that ends badly I cannot bear. So I will need to be careful. After March of the Penguins (when they let the baby die) I swore off all animal movies. But I get what you mean. Both sad and uplifting. I love those kind of movies. As long as no animals die.

They let it die!?! Sad!

We watched a making of special about a penguin documentary. I was so upset after the documentary because the baby penguins were trapped and going to die. I really didn't want to watch the making of thing but DH did so I sat there mad at them for being so heartless. Imagine the tears of happiness when they said that they aren't supposed to interfere, but as soon as they had finished filming them trapped, the whole crew worked together and made a path out of the ravine so the babies could escape alive. OMG! So much relief!

 

[TooPatient]

I was struggling a couple of days ago as I had purchased something I was excited about and had no one to share my excitement with except DH. I should have been able to text my mom. Or my aunt. My aunt is only 12 years older than me and I always wanted to have a close relationship with her. Worked so hard to be close to both of them. It didn't work. I have had to come to terms with my aunt being jealous and resentful of me no matter what I do (goes back to when I was a kid and her perception that I "stole her mom away") and my mom will always be anxious/overwhelmed and not really available to message or talk with except if she has time. I had some time of sadness and feeling sorry for myself that I don't really have a family. I have my grandparents and one cousin who are around and we see each other. The rest just don't bother with a few actively hostile. Okay. Nothing new. I reminded myself that life is good. We are in a comfortable house getting it organized how we want. We are living in my dream area. (Seriously! If you look at what I described as my dream place to live over the years growing up, living near the mountains with a big yard and forested property with a river is exactly it.) We have cats and dogs and more books than I had ever imagined. Except for my mom and aunt, my life is really just about right. I wasn't about to give them the power to make my life unhappy when everything else makes me smile. I bought a coffee at my favorite espresso stand, turned on my collection of favorite music, and enjoyed driving home past freshly snowed on mountains.

 

[iluvcarats]

Hi Missy! I’m sorry that you are down. This time of year is always hard for me too. I totally relate to your frustration, having also fallen down the endless rabbit hole of autoimmune disease. Lots of meds and dr appointments, but no answers and very little relief.
Have you ever listened to Oprah’s Supersoul podcast? I find that they usually get me out of my funk. They are not religious at all. She talks with really smart people, like Brene Brown, Eckhart Tolle, Michael Singer, Ann Lamont etc. I highly recommend them! Hugs to you, and hopefully a better 2022 for us all.

 

[Austina]

Awww @missy, I know you’re facing so many challenges, it’s just not fair. I wish I had the answer or a way of making it all going away. I’m just so sorry that you, and others have and are facing so many difficulties.

We had a pretty miserable time last year, when we spent a lot of time in lockdown, couldn’t go out, see friends, and most of all, not see our DS and DIL. I had to keep telling myself that things would get better, and we just had to ride it out.

Sending love and hugs to all those who need them right now, we’re in the fortunate position this year, that our lives have changed dramatically, and whatever happens, we’re with our DS and DIL.

 

[diamondringlover]

I am undeniably depressed....I am a introvert by nature but all of this is getting to me, I am scared to leave the house, I am terrified every time some one goes somewhere and then comes home...I work for an medical insurance company and I read medical records a lot its part of my job...it weighs on me...I am not a front line worker thank goodness....but it all is really starting to get to me.....I am hoping seeing my son, daughter in law and beautiful grand daughter maybe it will help me....

 

[CMN]

I will check it out though anything doing with animals that ends badly I cannot bear. So I will need to be careful. After March of the Penguins (when they let the baby die) I swore off all animal movies. But I get what you mean. Both sad and uplifting. I love those kind of movies. As long as no animals die.

@missy there are some losses along the way (every couple of episodes) so maybe not for you then. I am thinking about you today.