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I am feeling blue

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lulu_ma said:
Sending you ((hugs)) Missy! I hope that there is some resolution with your health issues soon. I also am finding it so hard to get into the holiday spirit this year for myriad reasons, but I feel like I must for my 7 yo. I think I'm really missing the sunlight. I'm buying myself one of these. I'll let you know how it goes...

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We have all 5,000k LED bulbs in our house. Makes a big difference!
 
missy said:
I agree completely. I never was one to sugar coat or be a Pollyanna. That is not who I am. I definitely do not expect sunshine and roses all the time. LOL I would settle for just some peace of mind some of the time. Life is hard. Life is challenging. But it is also worthwhile. It's just some times an uphill battle. Thank you for sharing. (((Hugs))).
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Just to be clear, I hope it didn't sound like I was saying you expect everything to be sunshine and roses all the time. I was talking about myself lol.
 
I wouldn't say I'm blue but I'm extremely anxious and high strung about my son's exam results. Not sad, just freaking out. Going through the scenarios a thousand times in my head, fearing the worst, not really daring to enjoy the good case scenario.

I try to keep busy. Will be a while until we get them and there will be many exams ahead so can't indulge in going crazy about this. But I'm super antsy about them. Really really really antsy. Plus I'm worried that I took the wrong tactic and make some questionable decisions in the lead up to his exams so am responsible for any failure. Keeping busy with sheer physical labour really helps me. I'm planning very busy days and I find having to do the large volumes of work really helps take my mind off it.
 
My sweet, darling @missy . Sending you the biggest & warmest of hugs. I know these times are difficult & challenging for you, but brighter days will follow. They always do...

Do not hesitate to message if you need a shoulder, my darling. You do so much for everyone here & the least we can do is be here for you x
 
Eat, drink and be merry; and cuddle the pets.

I also like to sing with a group, and to learn to play the clarinet.

I keep myself busy with voluntary work, and am grateful for my lot.

Going out and about in my campervan with my dog makes me happy.

My health is not as good as I was a few years ago, being a confirmed Type 2 Diabetic since June 2019.

That and other related health issues are controlled with medications, together with adjustments to my diet and a more concerted effort to lose some weight.

However, I am not going to deprive myself from things that make me happy, food and drink wise.

My mum and brother live 8 time zones away. She is getting older with more and more age-related health issue. He has never been that good with his health, and smokes and does not eat well.

I should worry about them more, however, I don't. They should be able to look after themselves as well as each other, IMHO.

I try not to worry about issues that are beyond my control, and concentrate on those that I can influence or change to make a difference.

DK :))
 
Sending ((hugs)) and ❤️ your way @missy
I am sorry I don’t have any sage advice for you as I’m currently struggling with the doldrums myself. It’s certainly been a rough couple of years!
I hope each day you find a little joy. One day at a time, one hour at a time D73F9957-5795-41F7-920F-1B24CEDB8D8C.gif
❤️
 
Slick1 said:
Sending ((hugs)) and ❤️ your way @missy
I am sorry I don’t have any sage advice for you as I’m currently struggling with the doldrums myself. It’s certainly been a rough couple of years!
I hope each day you find a little joy. One day at a time, one hour at a time D73F9957-5795-41F7-920F-1B24CEDB8D8C.gif
❤️
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Big hugs to you sweet friend @Slick1 and hug Bear from me too. He can cheer all of us up. One day at a time. One hour at time. And when necessary one minute at a time.
 
dk168 said:
Eat, drink and be merry; and cuddle the pets.

I also like to sing with a group, and to learn to play the clarinet.

I keep myself busy with voluntary work, and am grateful for my lot.

Going out and about in my campervan with my dog makes me happy.

My health is not as good as I was a few years ago, being a confirmed Type 2 Diabetic since June 2019.

That and other related health issues are controlled with medications, together with adjustments to my diet and a more concerted effort to lose some weight.

However, I am not going to deprive myself from things that make me happy, food and drink wise.

My mum and brother live 8 time zones away. She is getting older with more and more age-related health issue. He has never been that good with his health, and smokes and does not eat well.

I should worry about them more, however, I don't. They should be able to look after themselves as well as each other, IMHO.

I try not to worry about issues that are beyond my control, and concentrate on those that I can influence or change to make a difference.

DK :))
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Sage advice. I was just discussing this with a good friend yesterday. It's hard as I am a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). It is a real thing. I feel too deeply. I am working on that but it is in my hard wiring. But your advice is good and I am trying to adhere to that as best I can. Happy holidays @dk168
 
Ally T said:
My sweet, darling @missy . Sending you the biggest & warmest of hugs. I know these times are difficult & challenging for you, but brighter days will follow. They always do...

Do not hesitate to message if you need a shoulder, my darling. You do so much for everyone here & the least we can do is be here for you x
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Thank you sweet friend @Ally T I am grateful for our friendship and I am always here for you too. Big hugs and lots of love to you and your wonderful family. ((((Hugs)))).
 
lulu_ma said:
Sending you ((hugs)) Missy! I hope that there is some resolution with your health issues soon. I also am finding it so hard to get into the holiday spirit this year for myriad reasons, but I feel like I must for my 7 yo. I think I'm really missing the sunlight. I'm buying myself one of these. I'll let you know how it goes...

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Thank you dear @lulu_ma and big hugs to you. I know how much you and your family have been and are going through and my heart goes out to you and you are in my thoughts. Let me know how that light goes. I do have a SAD light but it is back in NYC. Haha go figure. How is it going to help me there? I can be so impulsive as I bought that years ago and never opened it. Oy to the vey. LOL. Happy holidays. XOXO.
 
diamondringlover said:
I am undeniably depressed....I am a introvert by nature but all of this is getting to me, I am scared to leave the house, I am terrified every time some one goes somewhere and then comes home...I work for an medical insurance company and I read medical records a lot its part of my job...it weighs on me...I am not a front line worker thank goodness....but it all is really starting to get to me.....I am hoping seeing my son, daughter in law and beautiful grand daughter maybe it will help me....
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Feel better @diamondringlover sending you good wishes.

iluvcarats said:
Hi Missy! I’m sorry that you are down. This time of year is always hard for me too. I totally relate to your frustration, having also fallen down the endless rabbit hole of autoimmune disease. Lots of meds and dr appointments, but no answers and very little relief.
Have you ever listened to Oprah’s Supersoul podcast? I find that they usually get me out of my funk. They are not religious at all. She talks with really smart people, like Brene Brown, Eckhart Tolle, Michael Singer, Ann Lamont etc. I highly recommend them! Hugs to you, and hopefully a better 2022 for us all.
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I have not. I will check it out. And thank you. Sending you lots of good wishes too and all the best for a better new year for us all.

Austina said:
Awww @missy, I know you’re facing so many challenges, it’s just not fair. I wish I had the answer or a way of making it all going away. I’m just so sorry that you, and others have and are facing so many difficulties.

We had a pretty miserable time last year, when we spent a lot of time in lockdown, couldn’t go out, see friends, and most of all, not see our DS and DIL. I had to keep telling myself that things would get better, and we just had to ride it out.

Sending love and hugs to all those who need them right now, we’re in the fortunate position this year, that our lives have changed dramatically, and whatever happens, we’re with our DS and DIL.
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Thank you my dear friend and same to you. I am so happy your dreams finally came true after much hard work and time. Big hugs to you and the whole family. And much love.

TooPatient said:
I was struggling a couple of days ago as I had purchased something I was excited about and had no one to share my excitement with except DH. I should have been able to text my mom. Or my aunt. My aunt is only 12 years older than me and I always wanted to have a close relationship with her. Worked so hard to be close to both of them. It didn't work. I have had to come to terms with my aunt being jealous and resentful of me no matter what I do (goes back to when I was a kid and her perception that I "stole her mom away") and my mom will always be anxious/overwhelmed and not really available to message or talk with except if she has time. I had some time of sadness and feeling sorry for myself that I don't really have a family. I have my grandparents and one cousin who are around and we see each other. The rest just don't bother with a few actively hostile. Okay. Nothing new. I reminded myself that life is good. We are in a comfortable house getting it organized how we want. We are living in my dream area. (Seriously! If you look at what I described as my dream place to live over the years growing up, living near the mountains with a big yard and forested property with a river is exactly it.) We have cats and dogs and more books than I had ever imagined. Except for my mom and aunt, my life is really just about right. I wasn't about to give them the power to make my life unhappy when everything else makes me smile. I bought a coffee at my favorite espresso stand, turned on my collection of favorite music, and enjoyed driving home past freshly snowed on mountains.
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Big hugs to you B. Keeping good thoughts. You are a dear person and I am sorry it didnt work out with your aunt. Her loss but I know it stings.

lilmosun said:
You are not alone ((hugs)). As mental health is important to physical health, it's good to be open about the toll all of this is taking.

It occurred to me the other day that for first time since Covid hit, I feel stressed.

I've been lucky from the start with the ability to work from home and afford delivery. Kids are grown so no worries about schools, etc. Covid was a massive killer, especially for the elderly. As such, it was no-brainer that I would stay in lockdown so I could visit my mom who was doing the same. I was just grateful that my father, who was in a nursing home for his last few months passed away just before Covid hit. He would have never understood why we weren't visiting.

Even when my mother had her stroke, I think the need to take charge made me feel somewhat in control...and we had just gotten vaccinated which was a relief as we went from lockdown to being in hospitals/rehabs and having home care in the house. Remote work (due to covid) allowed me to stay and care for her without any stress on that front.

Then things started to feel somewhat normal once she got to the point where she could go out- socializing/going out was fine as long as we masked indoors. We took a few trips, she gained back some of her independence and I was looking forward to returning to the office in late January.

And now with the latest surge, for the first time I feel anxious with uncertainty and a real loss of control between work and caring for my mom. My mom looks for me to make decisions for her but I tell her that she needs to decide how she wants to live her life given the facts. Decisions are not as clearcut as they once were to me. But I remind myself that mine are first world problems and what I am feeling now is nothing compared to what others have been struggling with over the past two years (and continue to struggle with).

Wishing you a happy and much needed holiday with your parents.
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Thank you so much and wishing you and your family a joyous holiday. Next year hopefully life will be a bit easier for us all.


mellowyellowgirl said:
I wouldn't say I'm blue but I'm extremely anxious and high strung about my son's exam results. Not sad, just freaking out. Going through the scenarios a thousand times in my head, fearing the worst, not really daring to enjoy the good case scenario.

I try to keep busy. Will be a while until we get them and there will be many exams ahead so can't indulge in going crazy about this. But I'm super antsy about them. Really really really antsy. Plus I'm worried that I took the wrong tactic and make some questionable decisions in the lead up to his exams so am responsible for any failure. Keeping busy with sheer physical labour really helps me. I'm planning very busy days and I find having to do the large volumes of work really helps take my mind off it.
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Hope it works out for you @mellowyellowgirl Enjoy a lovely holiday.
 
@missy, try not to work too hard to change what you are, as it will be a struggle and add to your stress IMHO.

I tried to be more emphatic and huggy feely, however, it is difficult for me at times. Life goes on and the earth does not stop spinning etc ...

Have a well-deserved bring yourselves.

DK :))
 
jaysonsmom said:
((((((Hugs)))))))) @missy. I have been through years of holiday blues, but you would never know from my online persona. I commend you for baring your soul and still being so uplifting to other PS posters while you are going through your own personal woes.

I have found that redirecting my sadness and praying for, caring for others in worse predicaments helps me lift my spirits, and make me feel less depressed. I always try to schedule things such as volunteering/serving at shelters, giving blood, adopting a family for Christmas etc. I have 5 friends going through cancer treatments right now, the oldest is 83, the youngest my kid’s childhood BFF who is only 17. I send funny videos/jokes to these friends, or texts of encouragement every couple days to let them know they are being thought of….

You have been that PS friend to many of us @missy. I hope you know that!
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Thank you for your kind words. I agree helping others helps ease the anxiety and negative thoughts. Thank you for being such a wonderful part of PS. Big hugs and have a wonderful and joyous peaceful holiday with your loved ones.

rainydaze said:
I'm sorry @missy. Hugs.

Different things work at different times for me. I try to give myself the space to embrace my feelings and follow my needs (I suspect you do the same). Sometimes that means watching murder shows on tv (i.e. distraction, it could be worse, and they are (usually) solved so i get a projected sense of resolution), sometimes it means watching old beloved favorites that surround me with comfort (Friends, Gilmore Girls, The Office, Schitt's Creek, etc.), sometimes it means thoroughly cleaning my house/purging a space/rearranging my spaces (sense of accomplishment and calm which offsets the low), sometimes it means releasing that emotion with a good bitch session and a cry. And always having that cup of coffee to look forward to making and savoring, warming my soul literally and figuratively. Sometimes they just help pass the time until the universe sees fit to lift my mood a bit, sometimes they actually help.

Having unanswered, persevering health issues is so draining. Mentally, physically, emotionally. It sure doesn't leave you with much in the reserves to handle all the other crap life is throwing your way.
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I think we are similar in that way. I allow myself to feel how I am feeling yet try not to wallow in it if you KWIM. I do wish I could get that energy surge to clean the house though haha and I know Greg wishes that too. :lol: I love the early morning and the peacefulness it brings. I wake at 3AM usually now but I enjoy it actually. I embrace the silence and the peace.

Thank you for your kind words and for caring. Sending you lots of well wishes and may you enjoy a lovely holiday.
 
dk168 said:
@missy, try not to work too hard to change what you are, as it will be a struggle and add to your stress IMHO.

I tried to be more emphatic and huggy feely, however, it is difficult for me at times. Life goes on and the earth does not stop spinning etc ...

Have a well-deserved bring yourselves.

DK :))
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Excellent point.
And we are who we are and while to some degree we can change there are things we cannot.
Not all of us can be huggers and big feelers and not all of us can be calm and cool. It's OK.
This is what makes us interesting and viva la difference.
Let's embrace the variety and diversity.

:)
 
I love you, missy. I send you hugs as you have sent me hugs so many times. There is no answer to your problems. I once heard that if I wrote down all my current problems and locked them away in a box for a year then opened them that I would be amazed that I no longer had those problems.

It was true. The old problems were gone. I had new problems over which I was agonizing, but it gave me a different perspective. Maybe a perspective that was more Hobbes than Pollyanna, but at least it wasn't the same old perspective I had had previously (which was to feel the same problems would never end). Things keep changing. As one of my elderly neighbors tld me, "This, too, shall pass".

(((missy)))
Deb
 
AGBF said:
I love you, missy. I send you hugs as you have sent me hugs so many times. There is no answer to your problems. I once heard that if I wrote down all my current problems and locked them away in a box for a year then opened them that I would be amazed that I no longer had those problems.

It was true. The old problems were gone. I had new problems over which I was agonizing, but it gave me a different perspective. Maybe a perspective that was more Hobbes than Pollyanna, but at least it wasn't the same old perspective I had had previously (which was to feel the same problems would never end). Things keep changing. As one of my elderly neighbors tld me, "This, too, shall pass".

(((missy)))
Deb
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I love you too Deb and your post brings tears to my eyes. My beloved grandma (and now my dad) always used to say to me, Missy, this too shall pass.

As for perspective I could not agree more. As Greg has said to me many times.
This is life. We are going to have one issue after another and we just have to deal with it. Period.

Things do keep changing and it is one (or multiple) problems upon problems. But there is plenty of good in there too.

Thank you sweet Deb for your friendship and love and support. Big (((hugs))) to you too.
 
missy said:
I will check it out though anything doing with animals that ends badly I cannot bear. So I will need to be careful. After March of the Penguins (when they let the baby die) I swore off all animal movies. But I get what you mean. Both sad and uplifting. I love those kind of movies. As long as no animals die.
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I swear to you I google every animal movie I watch now. I grill the people who’ve seen the movie already. I’m not taking any risks. :lol: I can get past it if a person dies but when an animal dies…no way jose. I can’t do it.

Which reminds me, a coworker had me read “A Dog’s Purpose.” They have since made it into a movie but I do NOT recommend it. The dog dies…a lot. He gets reincarnated as a new puppy but I swear every one of his little lives broke my heart. I have never cried so much over a book. I no longer take recommendations from said coworker.
 
I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling down. I think so many things just feel harder right now and it makes it a little bit more difficult to feel happy. To have that holiday cheer. I‘m not a winter person so I always feel a little grumpy and sad until the sunshine and warm weather return. I try to keep myself in the moment. Right now that means lighting a fire, having my Christmas tree all lit up, and watching a Christmas movie (or reading a book).

I think I’ll be losing two of my fur babies in the next few months and it’s breaking my heart. My pug is almost 14 and he’s really starting to show it. Mostly blind, has glaucoma, diabetes, and is possibly starting to be incontinent. The other one is my Zoey Bird (she’s a cat). My husband found her at work when she was only a few weeks old. I raised her and bottle fed her and we have a ridiculously close bond. Unfortunately, she has breast cancer now. We’ve already had two surgeries this year but every time they remove one tumor, another one pops up in a different spot. I’m left not knowing what the best choice is for her and it’s so hard. She‘s the miniature light of my life.

Well, dang it, I just made myself sad again.
 
elle_71125 said:
I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling down. I think so many things just feel harder right now and it makes it a little bit more difficult to feel happy. To have that holiday cheer. I‘m not a winter person so I always feel a little grumpy and sad until the sunshine and warm weather return. I try to keep myself in the moment. Right now that means lighting a fire, having my Christmas tree all lit up, and watching a Christmas movie (or reading a book).

I think I’ll be losing two of my fur babies in the next few months and it’s breaking my heart. My pug is almost 14 and he’s really starting to show it. Mostly blind, has glaucoma, diabetes, and is possibly starting to be incontinent. The other one is my Zoey Bird (she’s a cat). My husband found her at work when she was only a few weeks old. I raised her and bottle fed her and we have a ridiculously close bond. Unfortunately, she has breast cancer now. We’ve already had two surgeries this year but every time they remove one tumor, another one pops up in a different spot. I’m left not knowing what the best choice is for her and it’s so hard. She‘s the miniature light of my life.

Well, dang it, I just made myself sad again.
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I am sorry :(
Losing our furry babies is so painful @elle_71125
It is heartbreaking. I am keeping you and your sweet Zoe and sweet Pug in my thoughts.
(((Hugs))).
 
Sending many (((Hugs))) to you too! So many people love and care about you and you are always here to share and help whenever you can. I recently looked out our window and see others laughing and smiling and outwardly appearing to have no problems, and I asked DH are we the only ones with heavy issues. I too, am very sensitive and for me it is difficult to not feel like I am all alone with my "crosses to bear". My license plate says "Believe" and that is what I hold onto every single day.
 
missy said:
Thank you dear @lulu_ma and big hugs to you. I know how much you and your family have been and are going through and my heart goes out to you and you are in my thoughts. Let me know how that light goes. I do have a SAD light but it is back in NYC. Haha go figure. How is it going to help me there? I can be so impulsive as I bought that years ago and never opened it. Oy to the vey. LOL. Happy holidays. XOXO.
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Thank you Missy! I also bought an older generation one and never really used it! This one is streamlined. I will let you know how it goes. Happy Holidays to you and Greg!
 
Many hugs to you, Missy, and sending my best wishes for your health as well as your parents' and your dear Tommy's. I find when I enumerate out loud all the things I'm grateful for, I feel a little less down.
 
ive just finished my xmas breakfast so full of strawberries, chocolate and blue cheese im not blue right now
but its summer here
i could not imangine surving very well in all that snow
but to any of you who are feeling blue
1640376446802.png
 
Sorry to hear of your blue @missy. I understand.

Let's have tea, and you talk, I'll listen. Then we walk. We'll listen to the birds.

Thinking about you.
 
Looking forward to easier and happier times. Wishing I could send a hug or a lovely piece of chocolate :)
 
I'm so sorry Missy. Loss is such an awful thing to go through. I know it's part of life, and I believe we go on, but that doesn't necessarily ease the burden. I miss my deceased loved ones every single day.

It's similar with health issues. They can be so very difficult to treat and deal with. I often grieve for the person I used to be.

I wish I could offer some sage advice, but I seem to be struggling myself lately, especially since my DH was diagnosed with covid on Moday.

I just try to remember to be grateful for the wonderful family members and friends who are still here.

As for the health issues...well, I try to stay hopeful.

Sending positive, healing vibes, and gentle hugs. ❤
 
I didn't read all the replies but just wanted to send hugs your way. Despite what many many think it can be so easy to be down over the holidays. We think of our loved ones who are no longer here (both my parents and my husband's parents are gone - having died young) so it's not always "merry and bright". Since people were mentioning films I like to watch stupid slapstick movies like Zoolander. We have been doing 80s movies lately like Planes Trains and Automobiles, etc. and that helps.
 
@missy - a bit off on a tangent
i know your wonderful mum and dad are Jewish
what do they get up to on Christmas day ?
Do they just ignore it or do they have their own little traditions ( i have some read some NYC Jewish people go to the movies)
Do your nieces get Christmas ?
 
Sorry that you're going through stuff @missy. I'm taking things a few hours at a time. Its about what I can manage.
 
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