I am feeling blue

[MaisOuiMadame]

Hugs to you @missy !

You have a lot to deal with right now and I think the holidays make many of us realize how much we miss people who have passed away and consequently how limited our time together really is. Add a pandemic and not being able to see one another in pert and that's enough to make anyone feel blue!!

Thank you for sharing and giving everyone else here the opportunity to share too

We all keep it together for our children/spouses/parents /friends.., bur sometimes feeling blue is just part of life...

 

[diamondyes]

Sorry you’re feeling blue. What cheered me recently when I felt very pandemic sad was baking and then dropping off a bunch of cookies at homes of friends and neighbours. Also whenever I get groceries delivered I’ve been leaving $20 and a bar of chocolate and a note that thanks them and wishes them a merry Christmas. Thinking of others gets me out of myself and focusing on the cheer I can bring them. Helps a great deal.

also- I dress to the nines, eat and sleep right, watch old fave movies and unburden my soul with close friends.

sending you big hugs

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

we have just been talking to the newly widowed SIL
the kids are doing ok but a few teary moments this morning
they are going to the very hot sunny Hawkes bay for new year and then up to Rotorua on a holiday that dear Melanie had booked thinking she would be still here and they would be a family of four still

so we are feeling a bit blue now too

plus we both woke up with hayfevor
i had a terrible dream i had a cold
havnt been sick for so long

 

[Calliecake]

I’m so sorry @Daisys and Diamonds. Sending hugs to you and your family.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

I’m so sorry @Daisys and Diamonds. Sending hugs to you and your family.

thank you Calliecake
we have had quite a nice day
i hope you do too
i know the Brits are just waking up so you must be too
(its 10pm here)

 

[missy]

31817]@missy[/USER] - a bit off on a tangent
i know your wonderful mum and dad are Jewish
what do they get up to on Christmas day ?
Do they just ignore it or do they have their own little traditions ( i have some read some NYC Jewish people go to the movies)
Do your nieces get Christmas ?

@Daisys and Diamonds
Thanks for asking Nicky. My parents got married on Christmas.
Today is their 58th wedding anniversary.
I am honored they wanted us to be there today. We are the only ones invited today-due to the pandemic they are keeping it to just us. They saw our nieces and my sister and BIL Thanksgiving.



Their wedding Christmas Day 1963.

To answer your Christmas question about my nieces.
My nieces do celebrate both Christmas and Hanukkah.
And so do my DH and I.
We are fortunate to be able to share both holidays together.
And hopefully next year we can get back to celebrating all together again.
I miss my sister and my sweet nieces very much.
Little petri dishes that they are lol.

I am lucky that I did see my sister, BIL and nieces this past July. They visited us at the beach house outdoors.
Hoping I can see them again soon though because I do miss them.
And they are growing so fast. The older one is taller than me now. What happened lol. Too fast. Too fast.



Just a few years ago she was so small.




and just two years ago the younger one was tiny. She is sprouting up now too.



Anyway thanks for the happy memories and I hope you are enjoying a lovely holiday Nicky with your loved ones. XOXO.

 

[missy]

Sorry that you're going through stuff @missy. I'm taking things a few hours at a time. Its about what I can manage.

Same and thank you. Wishing you a happy and healthy holiday.

I didn't read all the replies but just wanted to send hugs your way. Despite what many many think it can be so easy to be down over the holidays. We think of our loved ones who are no longer here (both my parents and my husband's parents are gone - having died young) so it's not always "merry and bright". Since people were mentioning films I like to watch stupid slapstick movies like Zoolander. We have been doing 80s movies lately like Planes Trains and Automobiles, etc. and that helps.

Thank you. It's not the holidays so much as just circumstances not having to do with the holidays. But yes I agree. This can be a difficult time for many. I enjoy silly movies too and glad they can cheer you up. Best wishes.

I'm so sorry Missy. Loss is such an awful thing to go through. I know it's part of life, and I believe we go on, but that doesn't necessarily ease the burden. I miss my deceased loved ones every single day.

It's similar with health issues. They can be so very difficult to treat and deal with. I often grieve for the person I used to be.

I wish I could offer some sage advice, but I seem to be struggling myself lately, especially since my DH was diagnosed with covid on Moday.

I just try to remember to be grateful for the wonderful family members and friends who are still here.

As for the health issues...well, I try to stay hopeful.

Sending positive, healing vibes, and gentle hugs. ❤

Big hugs to you @Diamond Girl 21 I am very sorry about your husband and I hope he has a full and speedy recovery. And always sending you good wishes for good health and happiness. XOXO.

Looking forward to easier and happier times. Wishing I could send a hug or a lovely piece of chocolate

Aww thanks and yummmm.

Sorry to hear of your blue @missy. I understand.

Let's have tea, and you talk, I'll listen. Then we walk. We'll listen to the birds.

Thinking about you.

I would love that @Begonia name the time and place. After the pandemic if you ever come to the US near NYC or the Jersey Shore please let's get together. Hugs and best wishes to you.

Many hugs to you, Missy, and sending my best wishes for your health as well as your parents' and your dear Tommy's. I find when I enumerate out loud all the things I'm grateful for, I feel a little less down.

Thank you sweet @Kim N and wishing you all the best. I appreciate your warm wishes and hugs.

Thank you Missy! I also bought an older generation one and never really used it! This one is streamlined. I will let you know how it goes. Happy Holidays to you and Greg!

Thank you dear @lulu_ma and big hugs and happy holidays to you and your DH. XOXO.

Sending many (((Hugs))) to you too! So many people love and care about you and you are always here to share and help whenever you can. I recently looked out our window and see others laughing and smiling and outwardly appearing to have no problems, and I asked DH are we the only ones with heavy issues. I too, am very sensitive and for me it is difficult to not feel like I am all alone with my "crosses to bear". My license plate says "Believe" and that is what I hold onto every single day.

Thank you @kathley and big hugs to you too. Everyone is dealing with something at one time or another. And some of us more than one something. Big hugs and thank you for taking the time to post to me. You are not alone and I am sending good wishes to you.

 

[missy]

Hugs to you @missy !

You have a lot to deal with right now and I think the holidays make many of us realize how much we miss people who have passed away and consequently how limited our time together really is. Add a pandemic and not being able to see one another in pert and that's enough to make anyone feel blue!!

Thank you for sharing and giving everyone else here the opportunity to share too

We all keep it together for our children/spouses/parents /friends.., bur sometimes feeling blue is just part of life...

Aww thank you dear @kipari and big hugs to you. I know you have a lot on your plate. Thinking of you and hoping for the best for all of us.

Sorry you’re feeling blue. What cheered me recently when I felt very pandemic sad was baking and then dropping off a bunch of cookies at homes of friends and neighbours. Also whenever I get groceries delivered I’ve been leaving $20 and a bar of chocolate and a note that thanks them and wishes them a merry Christmas. Thinking of others gets me out of myself and focusing on the cheer I can bring them. Helps a great deal.

also- I dress to the nines, eat and sleep right, watch old fave movies and unburden my soul with close friends.

sending you big hugs

I agree it is heartwarming to help others. Takes our mind off our problems for sure. We get that from helping the feral cats (TNR, feeding, sheltering etc) and we do give to charities that are near and dear to us as well. As for dressing to the nines I enjoy my comfy clothes too much but as soon as we have a special occasion to attend I will see if I can fit into any of my black tie dresses LOL. We just watched A Christmas Carol last night. The 1938 version. So good and it did cheer me up. Happy holidays.

we have just been talking to the newly widowed SIL
the kids are doing ok but a few teary moments this morning
they are going to the very hot sunny Hawkes bay for new year and then up to Rotorua on a holiday that dear Melanie had booked thinking she would be still here and they would be a family of four still

so we are feeling a bit blue now too

plus we both woke up with hayfevor
i had a terrible dream i had a cold
havnt been sick for so long

Big hugs Nicky. Your and your families loss is great and my heart goes out to you. Gentle hugs and warm thoughts to you and your family.

 

[AGBF]

Merry Christmas, missy.

Hugs,
Deb

 

[CMN]

Continuing to think about you @missy. I hope you and your DH had a lovely day with your parents.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

@Daisys and Diamonds
Thanks for asking Nicky. My parents got married on Christmas.
Today is their 58th wedding anniversary.
I am honored they wanted us to be there today. We are the only ones invited today-due to the pandemic they are keeping it to just us. They saw our nieces and my sister and BIL Thanksgiving.



Their wedding Christmas Day 1963.

To answer your Christmas question about my nieces.
My nieces do celebrate both Christmas and Hanukkah.
And so do my DH and I.
We are fortunate to be able to share both holidays together.
And hopefully next year we can get back to celebrating all together again.
I miss my sister and my sweet nieces very much.
Little petri dishes that they are lol.

I am lucky that I did see my sister, BIL and nieces this past July. They visited us at the beach house outdoors.
Hoping I can see them again soon though because I do miss them.
And they are growing so fast. The older one is taller than me now. What happened lol. Too fast. Too fast.



Just a few years ago she was so small.




and just two years ago the younger one was tiny. She is sprouting up now too.



Anyway thanks for the happy memories and I hope you are enjoying a lovely holiday Nicky with your loved ones. XOXO.

wow
please extend my congradulations to the happy couple on their wedding anniversary beacsue that was the best answer ever !
and im sure you had a lovelly time together yesterday

and im so glad you have been able to catch up with your darling neices over this horrible time we are all living through

we just spent the day .....


eating

 

[ringbling17]

I’m sad. I found out my grandfather passed away yesterday in the Philippines. I had not seen him for at least 12 years and now I never will. I was planning on going to the Philippines this June or July. It’s the reason I decided to just work per diem starting this past September. So could go back home for at least a
month. If I work part time I would
not be able to request that much time off at one time.
My grandfather was 97 years old and guess what got him?? Covid. He couldn’t walk and was mostly homebound, so it really sucks that he got Covid. My grandma and their children decided not to intubate him. I hope he died peacefully and in no pain.
He was the kindest, sweetest man. I never saw him get angry except for one time when my parents and grandma were fighting over me. It was because of me they left my parents home. He was truly the most patient man. I never saw him get angry at my uncles or aunts and they truly, truly loved him. I don’t think a man could have been loved more.
He would tell me stories about growing up during WW2 and hiding in the forest. He told me he married my grandma in the forest. When I was younger he would sing me Japanese songs he had learned. He didn’t know what the words meant but he would sing them over and over. He would do a little dance and smile as he sang.
My grandparents had 8 kids total and all of them are still alive. My dad is the oldest.
Now my grandmother is 94. I hope she is not alone or she is able to come to America. The selfish me wants to have her with me.
My heart is broken…

 

[missy]

I’m sad. I found out my grandfather passed away yesterday in the Philippines. I had not seen him for at least 12 years and now I never will. I was planning on going to the Philippines this June or July. It’s the reason I decided to just work per diem starting this past September. So could go back home for at least a
month. If I work part time I would
not be able to request that much time off at one time.
My grandfather was 97 years old and guess what got him?? Covid. He couldn’t walk and was mostly homebound, so it really sucks that he got Covid. My grandma and their children decided not to intubate him. I hope he died peacefully and in no pain.
He was the kindest, sweetest man. I never saw him get angry except for one time when my parents and grandma were fighting over me. It was because of me they left my parents home. He was truly the most patient man. I never saw him get angry at my uncles or aunts and they truly, truly loved him. I don’t think a man could have been loved more.
He would tell me stories about growing up during WW2 and hiding in the forest. He told me he married my grandma in the forest. When I was younger he would sing me Japanese songs he had learned. He didn’t know what the words meant but he would sing them over and over. He would do a little dance and smile as he sang.
My grandparents had 8 kids total and all of them are still alive. My dad is the oldest.
Now my grandmother is 94. I hope she is not alone or she is able to come to America. The selfish me wants to have her with me.
My heart is broken…

I am so very sorry @ringbling17
Sending you gentle hugs and keeping you and your family in my thoughts.
I am so sorry.

 

[OreoRosies86]

I’m sorry you’re feeling so down. The past few years have been horrible. Every time I round a corner at work I hear angry anti vaxxers literally ranting about vaccines, masks… it’s like ENOUGH ALREADY. I feel so disconnected from every person. I hate the anger and the selfishness. Today a guy was tailgating me and flipping me off because I was going 5 miles over the speed limit. Yesterday a coworker had a meltdown about no more plastic straws in the break room because “who gives a sh** about $&@! turtles”

Sign me up for a rocket out of here.

 

[MamaBee]

I’m sad. I found out my grandfather passed away yesterday in the Philippines. I had not seen him for at least 12 years and now I never will. I was planning on going to the Philippines this June or July. It’s the reason I decided to just work per diem starting this past September. So could go back home for at least a
month. If I work part time I would
not be able to request that much time off at one time.
My grandfather was 97 years old and guess what got him?? Covid. He couldn’t walk and was mostly homebound, so it really sucks that he got Covid. My grandma and their children decided not to intubate him. I hope he died peacefully and in no pain.
He was the kindest, sweetest man. I never saw him get angry except for one time when my parents and grandma were fighting over me. It was because of me they left my parents home. He was truly the most patient man. I never saw him get angry at my uncles or aunts and they truly, truly loved him. I don’t think a man could have been loved more.
He would tell me stories about growing up during WW2 and hiding in the forest. He told me he married my grandma in the forest. When I was younger he would sing me Japanese songs he had learned. He didn’t know what the words meant but he would sing them over and over. He would do a little dance and smile as he sang.
My grandparents had 8 kids total and all of them are still alive. My dad is the oldest.
Now my grandmother is 94. I hope she is not alone or she is able to come to America. The selfish me wants to have her with me.
My heart is broken…

I’m so sorry @ringbling17 ….

 

[missy]

I’m sorry you’re feeling so down. The past few years have been horrible. Every time I round a corner at work I hear angry anti vaxxers literally ranting about vaccines, masks… it’s like ENOUGH ALREADY. I feel so disconnected from every person. I hate the anger and the selfishness. Today a guy was tailgating me and flipping me off because I was going 5 miles over the speed limit. Yesterday a coworker had a meltdown about no more plastic straws in the break room because “who gives a sh** about $&@! turtles”

Sign me up for a rocket out of here.

Ditto to your post. So tired of selfish angry people. And those complaining about wearing masks or better yet refusing to wear masks to protect others who are less healthy. Shame on all those selfish people.

I have little hope for mankind. This pandemic has shown true colors. And they’re not pretty.

 

[Diamond Girl 21]

I’m sad. I found out my grandfather passed away yesterday in the Philippines. I had not seen him for at least 12 years and now I never will. I was planning on going to the Philippines this June or July. It’s the reason I decided to just work per diem starting this past September. So could go back home for at least a
month. If I work part time I would
not be able to request that much time off at one time.
My grandfather was 97 years old and guess what got him?? Covid. He couldn’t walk and was mostly homebound, so it really sucks that he got Covid. My grandma and their children decided not to intubate him. I hope he died peacefully and in no pain.
He was the kindest, sweetest man. I never saw him get angry except for one time when my parents and grandma were fighting over me. It was because of me they left my parents home. He was truly the most patient man. I never saw him get angry at my uncles or aunts and they truly, truly loved him. I don’t think a man could have been loved more.
He would tell me stories about growing up during WW2 and hiding in the forest. He told me he married my grandma in the forest. When I was younger he would sing me Japanese songs he had learned. He didn’t know what the words meant but he would sing them over and over. He would do a little dance and smile as he sang.
My grandparents had 8 kids total and all of them are still alive. My dad is the oldest.
Now my grandmother is 94. I hope she is not alone or she is able to come to America. The selfish me wants to have her with me.
My heart is broken…

I'm so sorry for your loss.❤

 

[doberman]

@missy

I'm so sorry you're going through all this. Maybe it's just this time of year that legends itself to misery for some.

My step-father had to be admitted to the hospital yesterday. Coughing, spO2 < 90. Supposedly not covid, but another virus. All my family down there has been vaxxed and boosted, so we shall see what happens.

 

[lulu_ma]

I’m sad. I found out my grandfather passed away yesterday in the Philippines. I had not seen him for at least 12 years and now I never will. I was planning on going to the Philippines this June or July. It’s the reason I decided to just work per diem starting this past September. So could go back home for at least a
month. If I work part time I would
not be able to request that much time off at one time.
My grandfather was 97 years old and guess what got him?? Covid. He couldn’t walk and was mostly homebound, so it really sucks that he got Covid. My grandma and their children decided not to intubate him. I hope he died peacefully and in no pain.
He was the kindest, sweetest man. I never saw him get angry except for one time when my parents and grandma were fighting over me. It was because of me they left my parents home. He was truly the most patient man. I never saw him get angry at my uncles or aunts and they truly, truly loved him. I don’t think a man could have been loved more.
He would tell me stories about growing up during WW2 and hiding in the forest. He told me he married my grandma in the forest. When I was younger he would sing me Japanese songs he had learned. He didn’t know what the words meant but he would sing them over and over. He would do a little dance and smile as he sang.
My grandparents had 8 kids total and all of them are still alive. My dad is the oldest.
Now my grandmother is 94. I hope she is not alone or she is able to come to America. The selfish me wants to have her with me.
My heart is broken…

So sorry for your loss @ringbling17

 

[doberman]

@missy

I'm so sorry you're going through all this. Maybe it's just this time of year that legends itself to misery for some.

My step-father had to be admitted to the hospital yesterday. Coughing, spO2 < 90. Supposedly not covid, but another virus. All my family down there has been vaxxed and boosted, so we shall see what happens.

Ugh. Lends itself, not legends itself. Autocorrect needs to go away.

 

[ringbling17]

Thank you everyone. It was my Dad’s 76th birthday yesterday as well, so we decided to visit my parents in NY to show support since my grandpa was his father. I don’t know if they were close to be honest. I never saw my grandpa and Dad hug each other. My parents are strange though bc they never showed me any affection either.
It’s all very bittersweet when I think of it, mourning a loss and yet celebrating another year of life. Wanting to be there as a support person yet not really knowing how.
So we sat in the kitchen and talked and ate. I brought a bunch of stuff for us to eat. Three cakes, 2 Dozen mamon chiffon cakes and a tray of palobok noodles from Red Ribbon Bakery in NJ. Then I went to Chinatown for 5 orders of Joe’s Shanghai soup dumplings (the best!) and Hop Kee 21 for lobster cantonese, sweet and sour pork chops and pan fried flounder.
Anyway, Sorry for the rambling, I am not usually this chatty but I can’t sleep. I didn’t sleep the night before until 7:30 in the morning and its happening again tonight. It’s already 5:05 am and I can’t sleep. It’s a good thing I’m on vacation.

 

[missy]

@missy

I'm so sorry you're going through all this. Maybe it's just this time of year that legends itself to misery for some.

My step-father had to be admitted to the hospital yesterday. Coughing, spO2 < 90. Supposedly not covid, but another virus. All my family down there has been vaxxed and boosted, so we shall see what happens.

I am very sorry to hear this @doberman and hope your stepfather recovers quickly. Sending healing vibes his way.
And thank you for your kind words. All the best to you and your family.

 

[missy]

Thank you everyone. It was my Dad’s 76th birthday yesterday as well, so we decided to visit my parents in NY to show support since my grandpa was his father. I don’t know if they were close to be honest. I never saw my grandpa and Dad hug each other. My parents are strange though bc they never showed me any affection either.
It’s all very bittersweet when I think of it, mourning a loss and yet celebrating another year of life. Wanting to be there as a support person yet not really knowing how.
So we sat in the kitchen and talked and ate. I brought a bunch of stuff for us to eat. Three cakes, 2 Dozen mamon chiffon cakes and a tray of palobok noodles from Red Ribbon Bakery in NJ. Then I went to Chinatown for 5 orders of Joe’s Shanghai soup dumplings (the best!) and Hop Kee 21 for lobster cantonese, sweet and sour pork chops and pan fried flounder.
Anyway, Sorry for the rambling, I am not usually this chatty but I can’t sleep. I didn’t sleep the night before until 7:30 in the morning and its happening again tonight. It’s already 5:05 am and I can’t sleep. It’s a good thing I’m on vacation.

Gentle hugs @ringbling17

I am glad you got to visit with your family yesterday.
It's hard seeing our loved ones age before our eyes and we are helpless to help them.
We do the best we can.

Wishing you sweet dreams and a peaceful sleep.

 

[CMN]

@missy I hope you are going okay. It’s okay as well if you aren’t, but just know you are valued.

 

[bright&shiny]

@missy - your original post is perfect! At the risk of surfing on your thread, I’m having a rotten few weeks. Today, your comic post was perfect. I’m wondering, what did you do to feel better?

I’m considering lots of push-ups tomorrow because that can help me, but tonight I’m wallowing. Ugh. Thank you for posting the comic strip!

 

[missy]

@missy I hope you are going okay. It’s okay as well if you aren’t, but just know you are valued.

Thank you @CMN, I appreciate your kind words.
One day at a time.
Life is very challenging but I am fortunate I have a wonderful and supportive and loving partner by my side. And lucky to have kind people here who care. Thank you.

@missy - your original post is perfect! At the risk of surfing on your thread, I’m having a rotten few weeks. Today, your comic post was perfect. I’m wondering, what did you do to feel better?

I’m considering lots of push-ups tomorrow because that can help me, but tonight I’m wallowing. Ugh. Thank you for posting the comic strip!

Working out helps me a lot. It allows me to release my stress and anxiety. Pushups count. I do them too. I never look forward to starting my workout but I am always very glad to have done it. I am motivating myself right now because today is lifting weights day plus cardio so it's a long workout and I have a Telemedicine this morning too that I am very apprehensive about. So I have to get started. But I love procrastinating on PS. Reading PS and sharing here helps too. Plus Tommy is purring in my lap at the moment so I have to wait til he is ready to leave. LOL.
Hope you feel better soon!

 

[bright&shiny]

Thank you @CMN, I appreciate your kind words.
One day at a time.
Life is very challenging but I am fortunate I have a wonderful and supportive and loving partner by my side. And lucky to have kind people here who care. Thank you.




Working out helps me a lot. It allows me to release my stress and anxiety. Pushups count. I do them too. I never look forward to starting my workout but I am always very glad to have done it. I am motivating myself right now because today is lifting weights day plus cardio so it's a long workout and I have a Telemedicine this morning too that I am very apprehensive about. So I have to get started. But I love procrastinating on PS. Reading PS and sharing here helps too. Plus Tommy is purring in my lap at the moment so I have to wait til he is ready to leave. LOL.
Hope you feel better soon!

@missy , I hope you’re working out now and that your televisit goes better than anticipated! I miss big workouts (no longer allowed) so I live vicariously through those who can. I’m headed down to my reformer, and will focus on being grateful for what is possible. In the meantime, if you get the wsj, they have a great article today on happiness in an MBA at my alma mater. The article has links to some interesting resources!

 

[Diamond Girl 21]

I hope your televisit goes well, and you are feeling better soon.❤

 

[missy]

@missy , I hope you’re working out now and that your televisit goes better than anticipated! I miss big workouts (no longer allowed) so I live vicariously through those who can. I’m headed down to my reformer, and will focus on being grateful for what is possible. In the meantime, if you get the wsj, they have a great article today on happiness in an MBA at my alma mater. The article has links to some interesting resources!

I completely agree. Being grateful for all we have goes a very long way. And I am super grateful for all the good in my life. I mean I couldn't have a better husband or more supportive and loving partner. I pinch myself sometimes. Good luck with the Pilates Reformer. I love my Reformer.

Thanks I have the article...how to be happy at work right? Haha I love being retired but I was happy at work too. For the most part.

I hope your televisit goes well, and you are feeling better soon.❤

Aww thanks so much @Diamond Girl 21
How are you doing? You have been in my thoughts.

My visit went relatively well. The specialist agreed with me about needing the specialized meds. Now the fight with the insurance company begins. It's many thousands a month if insurance won't cover it and unfortunately they probably won't because I don't fit (as usual for me) the exact criteria for the med. Fingers crossed my physicians can help get it approved for me.

 

[Diamond Girl 21]

I completely agree. Being grateful for all we have goes a very long way. And I am super grateful for all the good in my life. I mean I couldn't have a better husband or more supportive and loving partner. I pinch myself sometimes. Good luck with the Pilates Reformer. I love my Reformer.

Thanks I have the article...how to be happy at work right? Haha I love being retired but I was happy at work too. For the most part.



Aww thanks so much @Diamond Girl 21
How are you doing? You have been in my thoughts.

My visit went relatively well. The specialist agreed with me about needing the specialized meds. Now the fight with the insurance company begins. It's many thousands a month if insurance won't cover it and unfortunately they probably won't because I don't fit (as usual for me) the exact criteria for the med. Fingers crossed my physicians can help get it approved for me.

Thank you Missy. It's frustrating, but I'm trying to keep a positive attitude, and remain hopeful. I try to appreciate all the wonderful people and things in my life, and not dwell on the negative.