How important is it to buy the ring your girlfriend asks for?

[moneyman]

My girlfriend and I have been dating for a while and she wants me to pop the question. She has been dropping lots of hints about what she wants. At first I was really impressed that she knew exactly what she wanted, but as I became more educated about the diamond buying process I started to doubt that she really knew what she wanted. She told me that she wants a 2 ct, colorless round diamond in a tiffany setting. Fine, sounds good. After a couple months of research, I asked her stuff like what was the most important thing to her when it came to the appearance, the fire, scintillation or brightness and she told me it didn''t matter. Fine, sounds good. Then this weekend I asked her if fluorescence would be an issue and she replied that it would be awesome, the more the better as long as the color was ok.

After that, I started thinking. Should I buy her what she thinks she wants or what I think would look great. I really like Eva Longoria''s engagement ring. I can''t afford anything in that carat neighborhood, but I still like the overall design a lot.

 

[vespergirl]

Get her what she wants.

 

[Ellen]

Get her what she wants, if you can afford it.

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 1/29/2009 12:07:08 PM
Author: Ellen
n/m

Hi MM and welcome!

I strongly ditto the ladies above, as you know what she wants I would not deviate from that.

 

[stone-cold11]

I don't think she understand what she is asking for. fire, scint, brightness not impt? A large size stone, colorless but no mention of clarity? Sounds like you could get her a 2c D color I1 badly cut round.

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 1/29/2009 12:10:01 PM
Author: Stone-cold11
I don't think she understand what she is asking for. fire, scint, brightness not impt? A large size stone, colorless but no mention of clarity? Sounds like you could get her a 2c D color I1 rough....

I don't understand what you mean SC.

ETA, we don't know his budget, why would he get her a 2ct badly cut I1? Also FYI there are eyeclean I1's out there of that size and even larger ( I own 2) and there are also well cut I1's for that matter. I don't know if the poster would consider this combo anyway, but it is good to understand that there are eyeclean or eyecleanish I1's out there and well cut ones if you know what to look for.

MM, if you can give us an idea of budget then we can make valid suggestions for you.

 

[risingsun]

She said she wants a 2 ct, colorless diamond in a tiffany setting. Does she want a ring from Tiffany? You might want to get some clarification on that point! What is your budget? I would get her what she wants, but you do need additional information. Please get back to us and we will try to help you

 

[CharmyPoo]

Get her what she wants unless she is the type who actually doesn''t know. Maybe you can show her what you want and get her opinion on it.

 

[luv2sparkle]

it doesnt sound like she really knows what she wants. If she is not a pricescope gal, she probably is not really sure how all things will effect the diamond. She wants a big
sparkly rock. I would get what she basically wants-the round in the tiffany setting. If she is not set on a ring from Tiffanys, you will have many options. You might suggest
she look at the SMTR thread to be sure, or get some ideas if you do not want to surprise her. You could also take her to some BM stores just to look at different styles. As
you can see here- alot of times what we think we want- is not really what we like when we try it on our own hands.

Valerie

 

[stone-cold11]

Date: 1/29/2009 12:12:00 PM
Author: Lorelei

Date: 1/29/2009 12:10:01 PM
Author: Stone-cold11
I don't think she understand what she is asking for. fire, scint, brightness not impt? A large size stone, colorless but no mention of clarity? Sounds like you could get her a 2c D color I1 rough....

I don't understand what you mean SC.

I am saying if budget constraint is present, there are alot of specs that can be drop, looks like size and color is her main concern. Keep those, and a badly cut round that is cut just to achieve a 2c wt, while having a small face-up and steep pav...etc....

If budget is not a problem, sure... the sky is the limit.

 

[decodelighted]

Get her what *she* wants. If she was in charge of picking out the watch you'd wear for the rest of your life & she asked you what you wanted & you said Rolex & she "decided" that she liked the Cartier Panther style better from pictures she saw on Brad Pitt & got you that INSTEAD ... how would you feel?

Many folks don't understand the intricacies of cut/color/clarity/fire etc ... just because she doesn't have strong, detailed, thoroughly researched opinions on each of those things DOES *NOT* MEAN she's "clueless" about what she wants. She's been pretty specific ... size, shape, setting.

FYI ... folks who like Emerald cuts don't generally like Rounds ... folks who prefer Rounds, don't generally like Emerald cuts. They are the POLAR OPPOSITES on the spectrum of cuts. Who is going to wear it everyday? Who is going to see it more? You only get that moment where you open the box ONCE -- do you want her heart to sink or leap? Are you a little mad at her? What are you trying to accomplish *really* by changing up the stone? A test? Take some of the fun out of it for her? Think about it ...



ETA: If you really think she'd just following some cliche or asking for what her friends have ... why not go shopping with her & let her try a bunch of rings on her hands & judge her reaction from her face & sentiments *then*. The one she really loves, she'll keep going back to ... won't want to take it off ... security will need to be called ... J/K

 

[Circe]

I''d say it''s fairly important to get her what she wants, but in the meantime, maybe try to pin it down a bit more? If you''re not fixated on it being a complete and total surprise (which I''m guessing it isn''t if you''re asking about the details of what she wants), why don''t you just go and try on rings together? Alternately, if you want to be more subtle, why not point Longaria''s out in a magazine, and ask your GF what she thainks about it?

 

[moneyman]

Well, the point of my original post was that I don''t think she knows what she wants so why not use my own best judgement since I''m confident I know more about the price to value tradeoff in diamond buying (but I''m still very very wet behind the ears compared to the ladies and gents on this board!) than her. I made the suggestion about Eva Longoria''s ring because I really like it, but also because it''s not a round diamond and therefore should on average be cheaper per carat.

I think she''s just asking for the Tiffany style setting, not actually from Tiffany''s. I originally started my shopping a while back. Was kind of close to buying a 2.4ct $80k ring at Harry Winston, but luckily I got cold feet and didn''t pull the trigger. Restarted the search early last year and went to Tiffany''s searching for rings in the $30-45k range. When I told my older brother, he literally hit me upside the head. He''s in finance and Tiffany''s is one of the stocks he covers and used to own. Based on their financials and based on conversations he had with the CEO, he said there''s no way he''d ever walk through the door and buy anything and that I shouldn''t either (he''s a total cheap skate, so it''s not a knock on the Tiffany''s reputation or quality or prestige, just his opinion that they''re overpriced - just his opinion as an expert cheapskate, not expert diamond person).

I''m also in finance and after a HORRIBLE year, I now find myself unemployed. I have $20k in the bank, refuse to carry debt to make this purchase and don''t want to sell anything from my stock portfolio to make this purchase. So I guess I''m willing to spend up to 20k, but would much rather spend in the $13-15k range so that I have a cash cushion to go along with my unemployment checks.


Let''s turn this discussion on it''s head. For $13-15k, what would you ladies get? Let''s say the only constraint is that the diamond must be a round brilliant. Feel free to make suggestions as high as $20k if you feel it''s a compelling value.

 

[moneyman]

Oh and by the way, thanks for all the opinions so far. They are pretty much in line with the advice I''ve gotten from family and friends I trust. The only people agreeing with the possibility of not buying what she wants are the guys in my foosball league (most of whom don''t have girlfriends

)

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 1/29/2009 12:49:16 PM
Author: moneyman
Well, the point of my original post was that I don't think she knows what she wants so why not use my own best judgement since I'm confident I know more about the price to value tradeoff in diamond buying (but I'm still very very wet behind the ears compared to the ladies and gents on this board!) than her. I made the suggestion about Eva Longoria's ring because I really like it, but also because it's not a round diamond and therefore should on average be cheaper per carat.

I think she's just asking for the Tiffany style setting, not actually from Tiffany's. I originally started my shopping a while back. Was kind of close to buying a 2.4ct $80k ring at Harry Winston, but luckily I got cold feet and didn't pull the trigger. Restarted the search early last year and went to Tiffany's searching for rings in the $30-45k range. When I told my older brother, he literally hit me upside the head. He's in finance and Tiffany's is one of the stocks he covers and used to own. Based on their financials and based on conversations he had with the CEO, he said there's no way he'd ever walk through the door and buy anything and that I shouldn't either (he's a total cheap skate, so it's not a knock on the Tiffany's reputation or quality or prestige, just his opinion that they're overpriced - just his opinion as an expert cheapskate, not expert diamond person).

I'm also in finance and after a HORRIBLE year, I now find myself unemployed. I have $20k in the bank, refuse to carry debt to make this purchase and don't want to sell anything from my stock portfolio to make this purchase. So I guess I'm willing to spend up to 20k, but would much rather spend in the $13-15k range so that I have a cash cushion to go along with my unemployment checks.


Let's turn this discussion on it's head. For $13-15k, what would you ladies get? Let's say the only constraint is that the diamond must be a round brilliant. Feel free to make suggestions as high as $20k if you feel it's a compelling value.

I am sorry to hear about your unemployment, sending good wishes that a new job comes along really soon! Its none of my business of course, but I am just wondering if it might be better to hold off on buying such an expensive ring at the moment, maybe get her a simple and far less expensive ring for now to use to propose, with the promise to buy the dream ring once you are regularly employed again?

If it was me, I would look for a well cut diamond of G or H colour ( GIA/ AGS graded) and verified eyeclean SI clarity in order to have a white, clean and sparkly diamond and to get as large as possible.

 

[coatimundi_org]

Date: 1/29/2009 12:07:08 PM
Author: Ellen
Get her what she wants, if you can afford it.

Ditto!

eta: just saw your situation--sorry about that. Ditto--Lorelei's great advice. Welcome to PS and good luck!

 

[arjunajane]

Date: 1/29/2009 12:10:01 PM
Author: Stone-cold11
I don''t think she understand what she is asking for. fire, scint, brightness not impt? A large size stone, colorless but no mention of clarity? Sounds like you could get her a 2c D color I1 badly cut round.

huh?? Where are you getting this?

moneyman - of course I ditto the other advice, especially Deco :
Many folks don''t understand the intricacies of cut/color/clarity/fire etc ... just because she doesn''t have strong, detailed, thoroughly researched opinions on each of those things DOES *NOT* MEAN she''s "clueless" about what she wants. She''s been pretty specific ... size, shape, setting.

Infact, I''ve been quite impressed by what she knows so far - most wouldn''t have a clue about fluoro!
I think she has done half the work for you buy being quite specific, now I would let the awesome helpers here like Lorelei find you a winning stone in your budget.
Good luck!

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 1/29/2009 12:49:16 PM
Author: moneyman
Well, the point of my original post was that I don''t think she knows what she wants so why not use my own best judgement since I''m confident I know more about the price to value tradeoff in diamond buying (but I''m still very very wet behind the ears compared to the ladies and gents on this board!) than her.

Can you see how that''s a bit patronizing? BELIEVE ME ... if she wants a round ... if she *really* wants a round ... it is WORTH the small premium on round stones to give her what she wants. An Emerald will be a catastrophe. Your dollar/cost analysis isn''t quite as important IMHO as the relationship dynamics analysis. What''s the expression about "penny wise"?

Why not go on a fact-finding shopping trip with her where she tries a bunch of things on ... with the agreement that the buying happens later - alone. Then you can factor her likes into your FINAL cost/value analysis.

ps -- leaving yourself some cash cushion sounds like a fine idea to me. This recession could go YEARS. Don''t assume everything will turn around overnight. You''re going to have wedding expenses to think about too, yanno?

 

[Ellen]

Date: 1/29/2009 12:49:16 PM
Author: moneyman
Well, the point of my original post was that I don''t think she knows what she wants so why not use my own best judgement since I''m confident I know more about the price to value tradeoff in diamond buying (but I''m still very very wet behind the ears compared to the ladies and gents on this board!) than her. I made the suggestion about Eva Longoria''s ring because I really like it, but also because it''s not a round diamond and therefore should on average be cheaper per carat.

I think she''s just asking for the Tiffany style setting, not actually from Tiffany''s. I originally started my shopping a while back. Was kind of close to buying a 2.4ct $80k ring at Harry Winston, but luckily I got cold feet and didn''t pull the trigger. Restarted the search early last year and went to Tiffany''s searching for rings in the $30-45k range. When I told my older brother, he literally hit me upside the head. He''s in finance and Tiffany''s is one of the stocks he covers and used to own. Based on their financials and based on conversations he had with the CEO, he said there''s no way he''d ever walk through the door and buy anything and that I shouldn''t either (he''s a total cheap skate, so it''s not a knock on the Tiffany''s reputation or quality or prestige, just his opinion that they''re overpriced - just his opinion as an expert cheapskate, not expert diamond person).

I''m also in finance and after a HORRIBLE year, I now find myself unemployed. I have $20k in the bank, refuse to carry debt to make this purchase and don''t want to sell anything from my stock portfolio to make this purchase. So I guess I''m willing to spend up to 20k, but would much rather spend in the $13-15k range so that I have a cash cushion to go along with my unemployment checks.


Let''s turn this discussion on it''s head. For $13-15k, what would you ladies get? Let''s say the only constraint is that the diamond must be a round brilliant. Feel free to make suggestions as high as $20k if you feel it''s a compelling value.

You do realize that what this would get, with a colorless diamond, can''t be a 2 ct., right?

I can make suggestions on great cut/less size, or good cut/more size, but with colorless we won''t hit 2 ct.. I''m not sure what you want.

 

[kcoursolle]

Definitely get her the setting style she wants and then get her a well-cut colorless or near colorless at close to 2 carats as your budget can afford. I don''t see any reason NOT to get a well-cut stone, even if she doesn''t know the importance of a great cut.

 

[chrono]

Personally, with only $20K in the bank and unemployed, I'd save the money for emergencies and postpone the ring buying until I am working again. You still have to pay the mortgage/rent, possibly car loan, and daily living expenses. This recession could last more than 1 year.

As you $12K, you might be able to get a 1.5 ct RB. There's no way you can get a colourless 2 ct diamond of any shape. This does not include the setting.

 

[cara]

Date: 1/29/2009 12:49:16 PM
Author: moneyman
Well, the point of my original post was that I don't think she knows what she wants so why not use my own best judgement since I'm confident I know more about the price to value tradeoff in diamond buying (but I'm still very very wet behind the ears compared to the ladies and gents on this board!) than her. I made the suggestion about Eva Longoria's ring because I really like it, but also because it's not a round diamond and therefore should on average be cheaper per carat.

Because its not only price that matters. The lower price per carat of fancies would only matter if you were trying to hit the magic 2 ct mark and didn't care what it actually looked like. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that she does care what it actually looks like. Rounds often face up bigger per carat or simply have a shape-based premium that you pay for the round rough. Some people think marquises look big for their weight, but they are a particular look and NOT interchangeable with a round or an emerald or anything else. Get your gf the shape she wants, do as well as you can on specs, and remember that *she* is wearing the ring, not you. Eva's is lovely but not what she asked for.

Let's turn this discussion on it's head. For $13-15k, what would you ladies get? Let's say the only constraint is that the diamond must be a round brilliant. Feel free to make suggestions as high as $20k if you feel it's a compelling value.

To figure this out, it would be useful to know what you want to priortize. Cut, cut cut? Superideal or not necessary? High color at the expense of size, cut, and budget? Eyeclean only or mindclean clarity? Eyeclean at hand-waving distance or under eagle-eyes inspection? Size, size, size! Yes to all, Budget fungible to get everything you want?

These are near colorless, superideal SIs near 1.5 ct and in budget. I would probably get one of these in your shoes, save some money until better employed:
1.51 H
1.45 H
1.51 H no pic yet
1.53 I
1.52 G

This is a 1.5 ct F, non-superideal, if you really want colorless.

This 2.0 ct F SI2 is probably not eyeclean, given the price and the pic. But, hey, 2 ct colorless in budget!

This 1.79 H SI Infinity I like if you are going to blow the budget a bit. Still not 2 ct but a nice stone in an difficult size range.

Keep in mind that the pickings are slim in the range from 1.6 to 1.99 ct, and the price jump at 2 ct is hard to deal with in your budget. So if you want something in that difficult range, patience is needed.

 

[moneyman]

What about this diamond? This website seems to offer a few other good deals on GIA certified diamonds.

http://www.szul.com/d_3464322_GIA-certified-1.8ct-Round-diamond-E-SI1.html

 

[mercoledi]

I wanted a step cut, and my DH knew that, but he didn''t like them so I have a round. It''s not a big deal, I love the ring he gave me because he put a lot of himself into it. As everyone has said, it depends on the woman in question.

If your budget won''t let you hit the 2ct mark now, you could get a smaller stone in a simple tiffany-style setting from someplace with a good upgrade policy ( WF and GOG have very lenient policies, maybe JA (their policy requires that you spend twice what the original price was)? Sadly HPD has a weird upgrade/buyback policy.)

 

[suchende]

By "colorless" I would bet she just means she doesn''t want a fancy yellow. Not specifying D-E-F.

 

[MissDimity]

Definitely get her what she wants. If your unsure let her look with you for that perfect ring.

Just based on your price range; I would probably get something similar to the:

Whiteflash 6 prong tiffany style solitare in gold ( $250) or platinum ( $600)
http://www.whiteflash.com/Engagement-Rings/Styles/Solitaire/6-Prong-tiffany-style-Diamond-Solitaire_993.htm

or

Whiteflash 4 prong tiffany style solitare in gold ( $250) or platinum ( $600)
http://www.whiteflash.com/Engagement-Rings/Styles/Solitaire/4-Prong-tiffany-style-Diamond-Solitaire_994.htm

or for a bit more

Whiteflash Heavy Tiffany Style Engagement Ring in gold ($495) or platinum ($750)
http://www.whiteflash.com/Engagement-Rings/Styles/Solitaire/Heavy-tiffany-style-Diamond-Solitaire_715.htm

and then I would just based on your budget choose this diamond ( 2.08 ct, I VS2 with med fluroescence) for $15696 , providing that when the specifications on cut in the GIA report when rung through the Holloway Cut Adviser Tool equal a score less than 2.
http://www.whiteflash.com/round/Round-cut-diamond-1859091.htm

So all up you would spend $15948- $16446 on the ring.

 

[chrono]

Date: 1/29/2009 1:34:22 PM
Author: moneyman
What about this diamond? This website seems to offer a few other good deals on GIA certified diamonds.

http://www.szul.com/d_3464322_GIA-certified-1.8ct-Round-diamond-E-SI1.html

This looks to be a 60-60 stone.
1. Since it is a GIA stone, ask for the crown and pavilion angles on the cert.
2. Also ask where the inclusions are and the type. Ask if it is eye clean.
3. Ask for an actual magnified picture of the stone to see if it is eye clean to you.

If you want the stone to have life, fire, sparkle, brilliance and all the good "stuff", you need to know how well cut the stone is so that crown and pavilion angles are CRITICAL.

 

[MissDimity]

Plus if you buy through Whiteflash and mention pricescope you get a 2% discount on the loose diamond

 

[moneyman]

Date: 1/29/2009 1:38:28 PM
Author: MissDimity
Definitely get her what she wants. If your unsure let her look with you for that perfect ring.

Just based on your price range; I would probably get something similar to the:

Whiteflash 6 prong tiffany style solitare in gold ( $250) or platinum ( $600)
http://www.whiteflash.com/Engagement-Rings/Styles/Solitaire/6-Prong-tiffany-style-Diamond-Solitaire_993.htm

or

Whiteflash 4 prong tiffany style solitare in gold ( $250) or platinum ( $600)
http://www.whiteflash.com/Engagement-Rings/Styles/Solitaire/4-Prong-tiffany-style-Diamond-Solitaire_994.htm

or for a bit more

Whiteflash Heavy Tiffany Style Engagement Ring in gold ($495) or platinum ($750)
http://www.whiteflash.com/Engagement-Rings/Styles/Solitaire/Heavy-tiffany-style-Diamond-Solitaire_715.htm

and then I would just based on your budget choose this diamond ( 2.08 ct, I VS2 with med fluroescence) for $15696 , providing that when the specifications on cut in the GIA report when rung through the Holloway Cut Adviser Tool equal a score less than 2.
http://www.whiteflash.com/round/Round-cut-diamond-1859091.htm

So all up you would spend $15948- $16446 on the ring.

Thanks, do you think the heavy duty setting would overwhelm a diamond in the 1.5-1.8ct range? I''m probably going with the prevailing opinion on the board that I should stay under 2ct with my budget.

 

[mercoledi]

Date: 1/29/2009 1:49:18 PM
Author: moneyman

Date: 1/29/2009 1:38:28 PM

Author: MissDimity


Whiteflash 4 prong tiffany style solitare in gold ( $250) or platinum ( $600)

http://www.whiteflash.com/Engagement-Rings/Styles/Solitaire/4-Prong-tiffany-style-Diamond-Solitaire_994.htm




Whiteflash Heavy Tiffany Style Engagement Ring in gold ($495) or platinum ($750)

http://www.whiteflash.com/Engagement-Rings/Styles/Solitaire/Heavy-tiffany-style-Diamond-Solitaire_715.htm

Thanks, do you think the heavy duty setting would overwhelm a diamond in the 1.5-1.8ct range? I'm probably going with the prevailing opinion on the board that I should stay under 2ct with my budget.

WF is great to work with, you can email them and see if they'll send you pictures of each Tiffany style setting with a 1.7ish stone set. They did this for me for earrings once and it was very helpful. Drop them a line!