How honest is this forum?

[musey]

Date: 2/26/2008 12:07:39 PM
Author: MP
I completley agree with you guys and I'm glad that I posted this topic up because I think it has clarified my concerns. Like I've said previously I think the SMTR is for showing off your piece of jewelry and having people praise it or how you presented it to your loved one. The critical eye belongs in Rocky Talk or at a point where the poster is seeking an opinion on a design or idea.

Yup. Just ask the front page of PS.

Keep up!

 

[musey]

Tacori, I'm with you.

MP, I don't think that understanding the "nature" or SMTR vs. RockyTalky takes much more than hanging around for a little while and reading between the lines of posts here. Or, you know, reading the description of each forum on the front page. If you and a couple of others feel informed by this thread, that's really great--but do remember that everyone who posted in this thread was "new around here" at some point. We all managed to figure it out somehow

 

[LegacyGirl]

I know personally I like a lot of the rings on here even if I''d never wear them myself. If I have said your ring is pretty then I meant it. Really the only ugly rings I''ve seen posted here have been in the ugly ring thread... everyone has great taste on this board.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Thank you Musey. I think it is common sense too and *honestly* I don't understand the point of this thread.

 

[togal]

I think it's important to note that just because someone doesn't post a comment, doesn't necessarily mean that it's because they dont' like the ring. One doesn't always mean the other. There are hundreds of people who view these forums, and only a handful of those reply to a given thread. I quite often go through the SMTR thread and see lovely looking rings, but don't post a comment, for whatever reason -- usually because I'm not logged-in and am going through all the new SMTR threads to take a quick look and move on. Now people will be getting paranoid thinking about who DIDN'T post a comment...thinking that it's because they don't like their ring....and that's likely not true.

 

[vslover]

Date: 2/26/2008 2:20:29 PM
Author: MP
Tacori, I think it puts things in perspective as to how people respond to others on this particular part of pricescope. I mean what''s the point of being a member of a community of yes men so to speak. Being fairly new to this forum since I''ve only been on the last three months I was concerned that no matter what I put up in terms of both a design or a ring that people would say it looks good just to be nice. Now that there is some perspective behind how people respnd to others in SMTR I have a better understanding.

It''s not about being a "yes man" it''s about appreciating someone''s jewelry because SHE LOVES IT and saying "hey congrats!!! the ring is lovely because YOU LOVE IT!"

 

[butterfly 17]

I have to agree with some of the other comments, if I like a ring, then I will post that I like it and if I don''t, I will either not post anything or put something like congratulations on your engagement. But for the most part, I just don''t even bother to post anything if I don''t like the ring.

I mean, it''s impossible for everyone''s taste to match, but I genuinely think that the posts that people make are honest. If people were posting just for the sake of posting, you would see threads 12 pages longs with "gorgeous", "beautiful", "love it", etc.

For the most part, most threads are the normal 2 to 4 pages long and sometimes 2 of those pages are pictures of the ring itself. The threads that do run longer than that are usually because it''s someone here that we all know has been waiting a while for their ring or something special and we just want them to know how happy we are that they got what they wanted and that they deserve it.

I believe the last "gorgeous" ring I posted on was the LM with the asscher and pink halo ring. When I said I love love love that set, I really meant it. I was being brutally honest.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 2/26/2008 3:52:46 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
Thank you Musey. I think it is common sense too and *honestly* I don''t understand the point of this thread.

Tacori & Musey ... I usually agree with you both but I think this is a Mars/Venus thing. Guys like to have things explicitly explained -- and are generally less forthcoming with effusive praise etc ... His *BS* meter went off and he wanted to sanity check his gut reaction. Perhaps he feels it would help other MARS peeps.

 

[butterfly 17]

Date: 2/26/2008 3:54:18 PM
Author: togal
I think it''s important to note that just because someone doesn''t post a comment, doesn''t necessarily mean that it''s because they dont'' like the ring. One doesn''t always mean the other. There are hundreds of people who view these forums, and only a handful of those reply to a given thread. I quite often go through the SMTR thread and see lovely looking rings, but don''t post a comment, for whatever reason -- usually because I''m not logged-in and am going through all the new SMTR threads to take a quick look and move on. Now people will be getting paranoid thinking about who DIDN''T post a comment...thinking that it''s because they don''t like their ring....and that''s likely not true.

Yeah, I agree with this too. If I don''t post on every single SMTR thread, it doesn''t mean I don''t like it or I don''t appreciate the gorgeousness of it. Sometimes I am at work, not logged on, etc. and don''t have time to post a comment, even though I really love the ring.

Also, I tend to just look at the first page of SMTR, unless I am looking for something specific(ie: rose gold pave as of lately

). So, even if someone posted a new ring, if it''s made it''s way to the 2nd page, I usually won''t see it until someone post on it to bring it to the first page.

 

[Diamond*Dana]

I am honest in what I say...to me, if it sparkles it IS beautiful! It may not be my taste, and that is fine (that is not what the OP is concerned with when posting pics of their ring), but it is, more likely than not, their taste and that is what really matters. Now if someone asks opinions on a particular ring, I will state my opinion...just because it is not something that I would wear doesn''t mean that it is not beautiful.

 

[Mara]

Random other note to expound on what you said Butterfly...but since the forums have gotten so large and my time is limited nowadays, I tend to just scroll through SMTR and look at the titles of threads before I click in...so I know I miss a lot of stuff that I probably want to see but if the title doesn't pop out at me or have descriptors in it, I tend to gloss over it completely!

I do love the rollover effect that your mouse has on the title name though, sometimes that helps to know if I need to click or not. Gotta say though that after so many years here, sometimes I feel like I have 'seen it all' in terms of baubles in SMTR. I wish I still had that 'stars in my eyes' effect from SMTR posts, but it takes something really unique nowadays to make me go WOW! Ummm or a 15c.

 

[jayreneepea]

Date: 2/26/2008 3:52:46 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
Thank you Musey. I think it is common sense too and *honestly* I don''t understand the point of this thread.

I don''t actually "get it" either?? Show Me The Ring is sorta self explanatory isn''t it? It''s not called Critique My Ring. And I don''t get the impression that it''s all "yes men" either. Not everyone responds to every thread, as you can see by the high number of views compared to posts.

Now, I don''t know whether you were referring to Rocky Talk in addition, but I would say that people are VERY honest in that section!! Actually, posters are VERY honest in every section of the forum, if asked.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 2/26/2008 9:55:12 AM
Author: Ellen
When they post in HERE, usually the ring is bought, the proposal over, and it's time to admire, not be critical.

Post it in Rocky Talk, and that's where you'll get more of a critque, as that's usually where people ask, what do you think? Once in awhile they'll ask for honest opinions in here, and then they'll get them.

Yup. Also, if its in here and I can't gush, don't like it, think it's poor quality or whatever... I don't post. Money is gone, poster is happy, what I think is irrelevant. It's only if they are feeling unsure, have a good return policy, and are ASKING for honesty that I post it. That's all assuming I SEE the post, and open the thread. A lot of time I don't. Also if it's someone I care about on here and the ring isn't to my taste, I'll find what I like about it and comment regardless.

But hold on to your hat when you ASK for complete honesty. You'll get it.

 

[MP]

Date: 2/26/2008 4:27:57 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 2/26/2008 3:52:46 PM
Author: Tacori E-ring
Thank you Musey. I think it is common sense too and *honestly* I don't understand the point of this thread.

Tacori & Musey ... I usually agree with you both but I think this is a Mars/Venus thing. Guys like to have things explicitly explained -- and are generally less forthcoming with effusive praise etc ... His *BS* meter went off and he wanted to sanity check his gut reaction. Perhaps he feels it would help other MARS peeps.

Tacori, the point of this thread from my perspective was an open dialogue. Obviously it was needed due to the level of response it has received.

Decodelighted, I never thought of it from that perspective, but your point is well taken and very dead on. Bravo!

That's what this whole thread is about in my opinion, gaining a perspective of things.

 

[FrekeChild]

Totally off subject but SDL, I love your new avatar!

 

[butterfly 17]

Date: 2/26/2008 5:46:36 PM
Author: SanDiegoLady
I am an honest person. What good would it be for me to lie here? Or anywhere for that matter. Those who know me know for sure, but I see no point of lying.

Mom always said, if you dont have something nice to say, dont say it at all.. I try hard not to hurt feelings. If I feel I have something to add, I say it.. but not at the risk of hurting someone.

Hey SDL, I love your new avatar. It''s so cool!

 

[tickintime]

Date: 2/26/2008 4:27:57 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 2/26/2008 3:52:46 PM

Author: Tacori E-ring

Thank you Musey. I think it is common sense too and *honestly* I don't understand the point of this thread.

Tacori & Musey ... I usually agree with you both but I think this is a Mars/Venus thing. Guys like to have things explicitly explained -- and are generally less forthcoming with effusive praise etc ... His *BS* meter went off and he wanted to sanity check his gut reaction. Perhaps he feels it would help other MARS peeps.

Now, decoded don't make me come over there! I don't post much in the form of praise, or otherwise. I also was not going to respond to this thread, as my response was written already (Thanks Ninama!) But when I read this topic I had the same feeling as most of you have expressed...**Isn't this common sense**

Be gentle on the "Mars People," most mean well, love gently, and try our hardest!

----Back to grunting, burping, and watching ESPN/brute violence...almost forgot scratching!


EDT: SDL your avatar is stealing the show... ...I love it too

 

[isis~goddess]

i didn''t read all the replies yet, but not long ago, i posted a "what do you think" sort of question/pic. and guess what, i WAS told critically what PS''rs think! no one was mean, but i''d say, if you ask, you WILL be told!! i''m redesigning now (i wanted opinions on what i could do) and i took the critisism well, im doing what i like with the feedback i asked for so, there ya go!

 

[Ellen]

Date: 2/26/2008 5:45:15 PM
Author: MP

Tacori, the point of this thread from my perspective was an open dialogue. Obviously it was needed due to the level of response it has received.

Decodelighted, I never thought of it from that perspective, but your point is well taken and very dead on. Bravo!

That''s what this whole thread is about in my opinion, gaining a perspective of things.

Do you mean needed for you to understand what this particular place is about? Because that''s what 99.9% of the posts have been, explaining what SMTR means, to you.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 2/26/2008 7:31:16 PM
Author: Ellen

Date: 2/26/2008 5:45:15 PM

Author: MP


Tacori, the point of this thread from my perspective was an open dialogue. Obviously it was needed due to the level of response it has received.


Decodelighted, I never thought of it from that perspective, but your point is well taken and very dead on. Bravo!

That''s what this whole thread is about in my opinion, gaining a perspective of things.

Do you mean needed for you to understand what this particular place is about? Because that''s what 99.9% of the posts have been, explaining what SMTR means, to you.

Not to mention the title sounded (to me, anyway) like a challenge for us to defend ourselves and our integrity. I know I came a-runnin'' when I saw the title because it read (to me, again, can''t speak for others) like we might be called liars inside the topic.

 

[cellososweet]

i agree with the others here. SMTR is about gloating. Why pi$s on someones parade when they are on cloud nine? There have been rings and such that I've though, meh that's kinda. . well. . .different. But I'm not going to sit there and tell a happy person that their prized possession is not my cup of tea. I've seen plenty of constructive criticism when asked (are the prongs to heavy, is this set too high?, i'm disappointed tell me i'm not crazy, etc.) But, as a lot of the people have said before, SMTR is about endless bragging and sharing the happiness with others. I think you'd be a snot or an arrogant PITA to offer your negative opinion if your opinion wasn't asked for. It's just bad manners. that would be like going up to someone in a grocery store and being like, "wow. . you couldnt be bothered even trying to look half decent today huh?" who the heck does something like that?

 

[MP]

I appreciate all your replies everyone. I especially like all the constructive thoughts on the subject. As for anyone I may have put off by asking a sensitive question, I wasn't trying to offend anyone or make someone feel like they had to defend themselves. I guess you can't make an omelette without cracking some eggs.

Thanks again for the discorse. It definitely got to the heart of the matter.

 

[Ellen]

Gwen, I admit the title got me in here too, but I really did see it as a "guy" not quite getting it by his first post. But I really don't get his last statement, as everyone except one other poster understood what SMTR is for.

 

[hairgirl95]

Well, I think posting this thread may have opened a can of worms that wasn''t really necessary. Like many above said, in the SMTR forum say something nice or nothing at all. Yes, there are THOUSANDS of pieces of jewelry posted on here. And someone loves EVERY ONE OF THEM. Thats all that matters. To question the honesty and integrity of people who post is kinda sketchy to me. When any piece of jewelry is posted on here, it is a laborious process. Picking stones, comparing them, choosing, finding a setting, working hard to pay for it, nervous proposals, the emotions run the gamut. On some level, most people DO love all the jewelry--even if its not their particular taste or desired cut/size/color/metal/clarity/etc---but rather because we all know the PROCESS that led to that great piece of jewelry being photographed and put on this forum. I feel like its a slap on the face to in some way imply that the replies given aren''t accurate. As far as the can of worms being opened, I don''t think its fair to any of the long time posters on here to in some way insinuate that they are anything but honest. It seems like a feeble attempt to undermine their credibility and morals. I haven''t been a member for very long, but it didn''t take a controversial post such as this to make me understand what SMTR thread was all about. I hope you achieved your desired result with this thread.

 

[diamondfan]

There is a big diff to me bwtn lying and trying to find something positive to say. And the unsaid is just as important too. Once, after my second child when I did give Shamu a run for the money up til the birth, I lost about 75 pounds. My mother in law said, Oh, I noticed you have lost a lot of weight and you look like your old self! In shock that I was getting a compliment (and just as I was about to thank her) she added...Mind you, I think I was nice to never tell you how FAT you were. WTF? When I told hubby later (who thought it so his mom in spades) I said, look, the compliment on its' own was nice. She should have quit while she was ahead. Now, I am sure she thought I was fat (I was pregnant but let's not get bogged down in the details) and she is entitled to her thoughts. But I told hubby, just cause something might be true to you, it does not necessarily need to come out of your mouth. So, could you say, I love the setting, but that stone looks like frozen spit? Sure, but is that really going to help at this point?

What I respond to a lot of the time here is the person's obvious excitement, joy and enthusiasm. Now, if they asked WOULD YOU WANT THIS FOR YOUR RING? I might have to be tactful and say no, if that were the case. But they are typically in SMTR, just doing bling show and tell. Mostly, there is very little in the way of bling that I do not love, so I can honestly say hey, great setting, or wow, it is so white etc. If it is a cut of stone I do not like typically, and I find it an amazing ring, I have sometimes stated that I might not typically be drawn to a blank cut, but wow, what a gorgeous stone/setting or both.

By all means, if someone has not purchased something and it is not a winner, I would want the experts, and anyone who has a view, to chime in. Or if I have a return period and can maximize what I can get with something better, please let me know.

It just might be seen as scroogish to be snarky when it is about the poster's happy feelings with their ring, not our opinion of it.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 2/26/2008 7:51:40 PM
Author: Ellen
Gwen, I admit the title got me in here too, but I really did see it as a ''guy'' not quite getting it by his first post. But I really don''t get his last statement, as everyone except one other poster understood what SMTR is for.

I think MP just wants to feel special and have his own stickied thread. Isn''t that right, MP?

 

[MP]

Date: 2/26/2008 7:51:40 PM
Author: Ellen
Gwen, I admit the title got me in here too, but I really did see it as a 'guy' not quite getting it by his first post. But I really don't get his last statement, as everyone except one other poster understood what SMTR is for.

I think that is the problem right there for some people. SMTR doens't necessarily translate into "Tell me you love me or don't say anything at all", for some people. I refer back to my original post. I don't see why you can't say something constructive to someone or something like that's nice, would look great with this as well in terms of a design aspect and not be overly negative. I'll admit that I am less sensitive than most when it comes to jewelry as I am a guy, but we all are adults here.

No one wants a jerk that lurks around to tear someone down, least of all me, but we can still discuss things in an adult manner.

 

[hairgirl95]

Does BRAG SHAMELESSLY not give you a hint about what the SMTR forum is about??

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 2/26/2008 7:59:31 PM
Author: MP

Date: 2/26/2008 7:51:40 PM
Author: Ellen
Gwen, I admit the title got me in here too, but I really did see it as a 'guy' not quite getting it by his first post. But I really don't get his last statement, as everyone except one other poster understood what SMTR is for.

I think that is the problem right there for some people. SMTR doens't necessarily translate into 'Tell me you love me or don't say anything at all', for some people. I refer back to my original post. I don't see why you can't say something constructive to someone or something like that's nice, would look great with this as well in terms of a design aspect and not be overly negative. I'll admit that I am less sensitive than most when it comes to jewelry as I am a guy, but we all are adults here.

No one wants a jerk that lurks around to tear someone down, least of all me, but we can still discuss things in an adult manner.

Well to that I say it wouldn't go over too well. When someone comes here to show us their ering and are over the moon happy with it. You're really gonna say, yeah it's nice and all but would look a lot better done this way?? Good luck with that.

3 pages and you still don't get that SMTR is all about congratulating someone?? Sharing in their joy.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 2/26/2008 7:59:31 PM
Author: MP

Date: 2/26/2008 7:51:40 PM

Author: Ellen

Gwen, I admit the title got me in here too, but I really did see it as a ''guy'' not quite getting it by his first post. But I really don''t get his last statement, as everyone except one other poster understood what SMTR is for.

I think that is the problem right there for some people. SMTR doens''t necessarily translate into ''Tell me you love me or don''t say anything at all'', for some people. I refer back to my original post. I don''t see why you can''t say something constructive to someone or something like that''s nice, would look great with this as well in terms of a design aspect and not be overly negative. I''ll admit that I am less sensitive than most when it comes to jewelry as I am a guy, but we all are adults here.


No one wants a jerk that lurks around to tear someone down, least of all me, but we can still discuss things in an adult manner.

But what is the point in telling someone to change a design aspect if they are posting, "Yay, look at my beauty, isn''t it perfect?!!!" If they say, "Hey, what do you think about the prongs, are they too big?" then sure, but in the first example, sorry, but I think you''re going to sound like a jerk if you gave ''constructive criticism'' to a ring that''s 100% done and in the possession of its happy owner.