How Do You Feel When Strangers Ask , "Where Are You From?"

[braga123]

Re: How Do You Feel When Strangers Ask , "Where Are You From

I was born in America, but I most definitely look Mexican. I live in So Cal and have never once been asked where I am from. When I travel to Europe, I do get asked and I respond "American." I guess in So Cal everyone is used to seeing Latinos so no one bothers to ask or really cares. If anything, Latinos automatically assume that I speak Spanish (which I do) and speak it to me...but I think it is their way of bonding.

 

[AGBF]

Re: How Do You Feel When Strangers Ask , "Where Are You From

I was born in America, but I most definitely look Mexican. I live in So Cal and have never once been asked where I am from. When I travel to Europe, I do get asked and I respond "American."

I haven't been to Europe in many years, but my experience was that my accent let people know immediately in the UK that I was American and that although my French is reasonable, people always assumed I was English or German once I spoke. (When I lived there my appearance had people ask if I were French before I spoke. If I spoke, the game was up.) In other countries like Italy and Greece people often guessed I was American because of my appearance unless I spoke French first instead of English. Even if I was with my husband, who is Italian. Once in Piraeus a restaurant owner tried many languages on us to try to get us to come in and eat at his establishment. After he had tried about five, I said to him, "We're Italian" in Italian. When he responded in perfectly good Italian, we decided to eat there. I remember that we had shrimp with lemon and mayonnaise and that they were amazing...huge and fresh!

Deb/AGBF

 

[marymm]

Re: How Do You Feel When Strangers Ask , "Where Are You From

[deleted]

 

[jaysonsmom]

Re: How Do You Feel When Strangers Ask , "Where Are You From

I don't feel anything when strangers ask me where I'm from. It's like asking me my name.
I'm an open book, not embarassed about my roots, and usually share that information without being asked. Usually due to my transparency, other people open up to me in the same manner, without me having to ask.

I'm curious, have you been regularly discriminated against for your ethnicity? For example, has anyone told you that your culture seems violent and that's why it produced a mass murderer? That you only got into a school because of affirmative action? Perhaps that makes a difference? Context is everything.

I'm not embarrassed about my roots either. Do you think the rest of us are who don't like this question are embarrassed of our roots?

I go to Korean language school, eat Korean food at work, etc. (No, I don't bring kimchi because it has a strong smell that offends some people.) What I don't like is are some of the things that follow this line of questioning, which is what the people who don't like this question have experienced, as illustrated by the anecdotes above.

Sorry, I haven't replied to this because I was out of the country on business. But just from the parts I highlighted it sounds like you have been discriminated against for your ethnicity, and you probably send out a negative vibe to people who ask you where you are from.... but to answer your question:

No, I have never been discriminated against for my ethnicity. I live in a very "white" part of Southern California, and I'm predominately Asian, of Chinese, Japanese, Dutch mix, and my husband is Korean. No one in my immediate family has ever been asked where we are from in a negative context, at least that I'm aware of. Most people are just curious about our ethnicity. Once I've satisfied their curiousity, conversation just moves on to other topics.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that most people are just asking what they believe is an innocent question, America has been called a great melting pot, so don't flame people for asking an innocent question.

 

[pregcurious]

Re: How Do You Feel When Strangers Ask , "Where Are You From

Jaysonsmom, I don't give out a negative vibe when people ask appropriately. At some time or other, all my friends have asked, or asked something relating to my culture. When you're asked and offensive comments are associated with it, that's a problem, and those are the examples I gave.

What you're completely missing is that there actually is a non-innocent way, and offensive way to ask this, based on context. Multiple people have said this. Some of us live in areas where there's more racism against our particular group, or against multiple groups. I grew up in an area that was nearly all Caucasian, and not friendly to non-Caucasians. I'm not just talking about no Asians, I'm saying 100% white except for me. They bused in kids from the city to get some diversity; that's the kind of place I'm talking about.

My friend who is Muslim certainly does not give off an unfriendly vibe when he's driving a van with his family, and someone tries to run him off the road. We're talking about frank racism here. The "what are you" kind that many people have experienced on this thread.

I'm really surprised that you don't understand. I'm glad you've never experienced racism in the context of being asked your ethnicity, but that doesn't mean the rest of on this thread haven't.

 

[pregcurious]

Re: How Do You Feel When Strangers Ask , "Where Are You From

You all know I love you guys right? Sorry for getting so frustrated on this thread. I've learned that I can explain this issue to people better in real life. Maybe we should change the thread to, "how to do you ask someone politely about their ethnicity?"

 

[jaysonsmom]

Re: How Do You Feel When Strangers Ask , "Where Are You From

Jaysonsmom, I don't give out a negative vibe when people ask appropriately. At some time or other, all my friends have asked, or asked something relating to my culture. When you're asked and offensive comments are associated with it, that's a problem, and those are the examples I gave.

What you're completely missing is that there actually is a non-innocent way, and offensive way to ask this, based on context. Multiple people have said this. Some of us live in areas where there's more racism against our particular group, or against multiple groups. I grew up in an area that was nearly all Caucasian, and not friendly to non-Caucasians. I'm not just talking about no Asians, I'm saying 100% white except for me. They bused in kids from the city to get some diversity; that's the kind of place I'm talking about.

My friend who is Muslim certainly does not give off an unfriendly vibe when he's driving a van with his family, and someone tries to run him off the road. We're talking about frank racism here. The "what are you" kind that many people have experienced on this thread.

I'm really surprised that you don't understand. I'm glad you've never experienced racism in the context of being asked your ethnicity, but that doesn't mean the rest of on this thread haven't.

I'm so sorry you're frustrated, and I'm not denying that what you have experienced in your past probably affected you to the extent that you think that a question as innocent as "Where are you from" as offensive. I DO understand that there are people who ask out of malice, but I'm only responding to my own experiences.
I have not experienced negativity stemming from that question because I choose to think of it as an innocent curiosity, and I answer the question as such. I cannot say that I have not experienced racism at ALL, in my 20+ years in the US....I remember getting into a car accident when my kids were very young, and the cops were tending to the elderly caucasian woman who ran into my car, while I sat in the center divider with my two crying toddlers, and not one person bothered to check if we were okay, or volunteered to call someone for us.....Yes. racism exists, but I don't jump down someone's throat when they ask me where I'm from.

 

[pregcurious]

Re: How Do You Feel When Strangers Ask , "Where Are You From

I agree with you Jaysonsom. I don't jump either when just asked.

 

[-Bella-]

Re: How Do You Feel When Strangers Ask , "Where Are You From

Interesting topic! Although i have just skimmed it (I'm doing an assignment on mental Health and i feel like I'm going crazy having to finish it so my brain is all mush ) But i have never thought of it like that. I am not obviously a blond haired blue eye aussie, and i look like i have european roots in me so i often get asked where i am from, i usually reply with where i am from (maltese, although australian born) It's not something i am phased by but if i were asked incorrectly with any hint of racism or "I'm better than you vibe" i would definitely have something to say ha ha

 

[Nyc2chigal]

Re: How Do You Feel When Strangers Ask , "Where Are You From

Very interesting topic!!
I see this somewhat differently...
I don't mind being asked at all. I don't have an accent, as I was born in the US. But, I do speak fluent Romanian, and I've had countless people ask me "What was THAT?" I respond that it was Romanian.

I get the following questions:
1. OH, where Dracula is from? (Vlad the Impaler is from Romania, yes.. and the fictional story of Dracula is based on Vlad)
2. Are you a vampire? (Um, no)
3. Doesn't Romania treat their pets/animals cruely? (Not all, but there are a lot of strays)
4. So does it mean you're a gypsy? (Answer: NO)

I respond accordingly, because, like MANY people, they are ignorant to other cultures/nationalities outside of their own.

Here is how I see it:
When people ask, I answer. There is no point in being offended by someone that is ignorant.


I encourage people to be open about every culture... I LOVE asking people about their Nationality, and learning about their background. Granted, I don't ask silly questions, but that's because I learn

 

[House Cat]

Re: How Do You Feel When Strangers Ask , "Where Are You From

http://www.buzzfeed.com/hnigatu/racial-microagressions-you-hear-on-a-daily-basis?sub=2803971_2094685

I just saw this today. 21 "Racial Microaggressions" people hear on a regular basis.

 

[AGBF]

Re: How Do You Feel When Strangers Ask , "Where Are You From

http://www.buzzfeed.com/hnigatu/racial-microagressions-you-hear-on-a-daily-basis?sub=2803971_2094685

I just saw this today. 21 "Racial Microaggressions" people hear on a regular basis.

Thanks for sharing that, House Cat. I found it interesting. A lot of the things people heard were things that I had heard that people of color experience regularly, but some were surprising. And the funniest thing to me is that my white husband is asked constantly where he is "really" from if he says, "Connecticut" or, "Virginia" since he has an accent. He is loathe to disclose the country of his birth to strangers and loathe to speak the first language he learned with others (although he will speak any other of the many languages he speaks with other people). So he feels constantly harassed!


Deb/AGBF

 

[missy]

Re: How Do You Feel When Strangers Ask , "Where Are You From

http://www.buzzfeed.com/hnigatu/racial-microagressions-you-hear-on-a-daily-basis?sub=2803971_2094685

I just saw this today. 21 "Racial Microaggressions" people hear on a regular basis.

Ugh. 2013 and so many are still so clueless. Ignorance with a capital I.

 

[AGBF]

Re: How Do You Feel When Strangers Ask , "Where Are You From

http://www.buzzfeed.com/hnigatu/racial-microagressions-you-hear-on-a-daily-basis?sub=2803971_2094685

I just saw this today. 21 "Racial Microaggressions" people hear on a regular basis.

Ugh. 2013 and so many are still so clueless. Ignorance with a capital I.

I got my father this T-shirt a number of years ago. One might find it elitist, but then one might also be among the ignorant. As the journalist played by William Holden said (this is paraphrased) in, "Born Yesterday": I have nothing against someone who has never been exposed to education. My problem is with someone whose brain has been hanging around for a long time with every chance to expand and yet just doesn't get the message.

Deb/AGBF

 

[missy]

Re: How Do You Feel When Strangers Ask , "Where Are You From

http://www.buzzfeed.com/hnigatu/racial-microagressions-you-hear-on-a-daily-basis?sub=2803971_2094685

I just saw this today. 21 "Racial Microaggressions" people hear on a regular basis.

Ugh. 2013 and so many are still so clueless. Ignorance with a capital I.

I got my father this T-shirt a number of years ago. One might find it elitist, but then one might also be among the ignorant. As the journalist played by William Holden said (this is paraphrased) in, "Born Yesterday": I have nothing against someone who has never been exposed to education. My problem is with someone whose brain has been hanging around for a long time with every chance to expand and yet just doesn't get the message.

Deb/AGBF

Love the t-shirt Deb. And I am with you on this. I don't fault people who haven't had the education but I see this type of ignorant behavior too often from people who should know better. They are just prejudiced idiots.

 

[sparkle45]

Re: How Do You Feel When Strangers Ask , "Where Are You From

It depends on intent and extent of relationship.

I'm currently a waitress/bartender and I can't TELL you how many guys who (I've "known" for less than 5 minutes, and with whom I'm exchanged a minimum of words) ask me "where are you from?"

Usually, it's obvious that they're asking because of the appearance of my face, and that annoys me. They don't realize they are basically telling me that I look different from "the norm" to such an extent that they NEED to find out where I'm from.

(They are confused because I'm a fairly pale white girl with very non-Caucasian features <-- whatever THAT means. White people in America are accumulating more diverse coloring, hair type, bone structure as the world continues to grow smaller due to globalization. Ignorant people seem to have a hard time catching up, though.)

I even said to a guy once, to show him how his words came across, "Yeah, I KNOW I have a weird face! Thanks for pointing it out!" I then laughed it off, to salvage my tip But he looked pretty thoughtful for a while after apologizing profusely, so I *hope* something sank in.

The fact that ANYONE who doesn't know me (and many who only know my incidentally) feel like they have the right to ask me questions about my physical differences from them is annoying. It's like they're holding themselves as the measure of normalcy and I am therefore being judged on my "differentness." I am being "othered."

But that is how I feel about non-friends. And about that question in particular (when it's obviously about my appearance.) If a friend asks about my ethnic heritage, I'm fine with that. Mostly because I can tell they aren't judging me, and they aren't viewing themselves as "normal" and othering me. They are simply curious.

When someone asks because of my accent, that doesn't bother me, because I live in Seattle, Washington, the state with the LEAST accent of all the American states (or so they like to boast.) So I can understand why a starkly southern accent gets that "WHERE IS YOUR ACCENT FROM?" question. Also, I don't mind because my accent is a part of me in a way that the way I look isn't. I had no control over the features I inherited. I look exactly like my father, who looked NOTHING like the rest of his family. But my accent is from my culture and my culture defined who I grew up to be (in terms of either accepting or rejecting aspects of it.)

Usually, saying Georgia suffices, and they don't dig. When it starts to annoy me is when people take the fact that I am southern and start making completely inappropriate assumptions about me. When I was living in San Diego, I had a (white) guy at a (mostly white) college party start asking me very hostile, inappropriate questions about racism, except they weren't so much questions as accusations. I'm sorry. The fact that I am from the south does NOT make me racist, nor do I walk around constantly prepared to state and debate my views on race relations in the south. Nor do I WANT to. Nor is it appropriate at a party where I count exactly ONE person of color (sitting 4 feet away, who became increasingly upset until the whole thing blew up.)

Basically, it depends on intent and tone. If they ask one non-dehumanizing/othering question such as "Oh, that's an unusual last name - do you know the origin?" I see it as their way of politely displaying interest in my identity. As long as they drop that line of questioning and go into things of more substance, it's fine. But being asked if I'm mixed "because white girls don't have butts like that" or because "white girls don't have lips/noses like that".....

Makes me want to get into a big 'ol debate about What, Exactly Type of White Person are you referring to? The Perfect One? Barbie?

Polite curiosity is one thing. Othering/Dehumanizing others from a stance of superiority is another.

 

[missy]

Re: How Do You Feel When Strangers Ask , "Where Are You From

It depends on intent and extent of relationship.

I'm currently a waitress/bartender and I can't TELL you how many guys who (I've "known" for less than 5 minutes, and with whom I'm exchanged a minimum of words) ask me "where are you from?"

Usually, it's obvious that they're asking because of the appearance of my face, and that annoys me. They don't realize they are basically telling me that I look different from "the norm" to such an extent that they NEED to find out where I'm from.

(They are confused because I'm a fairly pale white girl with very non-Caucasian features <-- whatever THAT means. White people in America are accumulating more diverse coloring, hair type, bone structure as the world continues to grow smaller due to globalization. Ignorant people seem to have a hard time catching up, though.)

I even said to a guy once, to show him how his words came across, "Yeah, I KNOW I have a weird face! Thanks for pointing it out!" I then laughed it off, to salvage my tip But he looked pretty thoughtful for a while after apologizing profusely, so I *hope* something sank in.

The fact that ANYONE who doesn't know me (and many who only know my incidentally) feel like they have the right to ask me questions about my physical differences from them is annoying. It's like they're holding themselves as the measure of normalcy and I am therefore being judged on my "differentness." I am being "othered."

But that is how I feel about non-friends. And about that question in particular (when it's obviously about my appearance.) If a friend asks about my ethnic heritage, I'm fine with that. Mostly because I can tell they aren't judging me, and they aren't viewing themselves as "normal" and othering me. They are simply curious.

When someone asks because of my accent, that doesn't bother me, because I live in Seattle, Washington, the state with the LEAST accent of all the American states (or so they like to boast.) So I can understand why a starkly southern accent gets that "WHERE IS YOUR ACCENT FROM?" question. Also, I don't mind because my accent is a part of me in a way that the way I look isn't. I had no control over the features I inherited. I look exactly like my father, who looked NOTHING like the rest of his family. But my accent is from my culture and my culture defined who I grew up to be (in terms of either accepting or rejecting aspects of it.)

Usually, saying Georgia suffices, and they don't dig. When it starts to annoy me is when people take the fact that I am southern and start making completely inappropriate assumptions about me. When I was living in San Diego, I had a (white) guy at a (mostly white) college party start asking me very hostile, inappropriate questions about racism, except they weren't so much questions as accusations. I'm sorry. The fact that I am from the south does NOT make me racist, nor do I walk around constantly prepared to state and debate my views on race relations in the south. Nor do I WANT to. Nor is it appropriate at a party where I count exactly ONE person of color (sitting 4 feet away, who became increasingly upset until the whole thing blew up.)

Basically, it depends on intent and tone. If they ask one non-dehumanizing/othering question such as "Oh, that's an unusual last name - do you know the origin?" I see it as their way of politely displaying interest in my identity. As long as they drop that line of questioning and go into things of more substance, it's fine. But being asked if I'm mixed "because white girls don't have butts like that" or because "white girls don't have lips/noses like that".....

Makes me want to get into a big 'ol debate about What, Exactly Type of White Person are you referring to? The Perfect One? Barbie?

Polite curiosity is one thing. Othering/Dehumanizing others from a stance of superiority is another.

AprilMay, you said it all so succinctly that I am going to just +1 you on the whole post bolding the last sentence for good measure. That is exactly how I feel about that question from the wrong person...it is dehumanizing for all the reasons you so clearly stated.

 

[sparkle45]

Re: How Do You Feel When Strangers Ask , "Where Are You From

There has been a really interesting conversation in the thread that started this one. I didn't want people posting here to miss it, so I am reposting the most recent posts from it.

Initial post that I am reposting:

Pregcurious - I guess we will have to agree to disagree. I honestly don't see a problem with asking someone where they are from. I see the problem with asking based on some fear of an ethnicity, or based on dislike for other races yes. I just don't see a problem with asking about people. Again, to me it is part of embracing who they are, be it if they say they're from Boston, or they say they're from Korea, or they say they're from London. Part of getting to know someone is getting to know who they are, where they're from, how they live, what they value, what they don't value, and ethnicity does play a role in that in families who honor their heritage. I am a white American girl, no doubt, but I have Portuguese blood very close up, and my family cooked certain meals and my grandmother is a firm Roman Catholic, and there are parts of that heritage that I embrace and that I recognize and that I sometimes like to share with others. My friend and her mother do not look at themselves as foreign, but they do recognize and honor traditions from their family and from that country. In some cases, it can make a difference in what someone eats, or wears, or how they speak, or their mannerisms. It's important to me to be able to respect those things about someone who has a different background than myself. It's not like someone's looking at you and saying "You're black, you must be from Africa." But to see someone who is different from myself, and to ask them "So where are you from, tell me about yourself," shouldn't be an offensive issue. Especially if you have no problem with yourself and your own history and ethnicity. Automatically assuming someone is asking from a perspective of discrimination or misunderstanding of who you are based on your race is playing the cards in reverse in my opinion. "You're white so you must not understand me being hispanic in America." That thought process isn't really fair for those of us who wish to better understand the people we meet, no matter their gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity or home country.

You identify as a "white American girl." In many ways, that is a privilege that others can't share in the same way.

Its likely that you don't mind the question because you aren't asked it very often. I understand that the question "Where are you from?" might seem like harmless question, but its a question that comes with the connotation "You're not from here. You do not belong here." Like when you find an errant screw on the ground, and you wonder, "where is this from?" because the screw is not in its rightful place.

I want to add here that I understand where Dragonfly is coming from, because I used to feel that way. It IS hard, initially, to understand life as a person without white privilege. Especially when you aren't really aware of what white privilege is or how it affects every aspect of your life.

I never gave it much thought until I got into a heated online debate and it suddenly dawned on me that *I* was the one in the wrong. Here I was, arguing with a POC about what racism really means, all the while speaking from a place of white privilege. I think what she said that made me finally understand was that *SHE* had to have these kinds of debates every week/day/hour with white people because these sorts of situations come up THAT often in her life. *I*, on the other hand, hadn't had a debate about racism and/or race relations in..... who knows how long? I started trying to imagine having to fight for the respect of my race and my POV on a daily basis, realized how exhausting that would be, and then BAM it hit me that YES white privilege exists, and NO you can cannot argue a POC out of their insistence that it exists just because you want to be on "even ground." There is no even ground. Just like sexism is still around, racism is still live and well, residing deep down in institutionalized foundations of society.

Just like a Woman in the work place asserting herself is being Pushy (as opposed to Men being seen as Persuasive,) a POC haggling for a better price or placing value on saving is seen as "cheap" while a white person doing the exact same thing is seen as "frugal."

I think thats what helps the most when trying to make a person speaking from a position of white privilege understand - Pointing out how OFTEN you run into these comments.

As much as I can get annoyed by people othering me in the small ways they do, I also try to remember all the things I DON'T have to endure on a daily basis. I don't have to overhear people making negative remarks about my appearance. I don't have to hear people telling me to go back where I came from, or implying that I'm not "really" American. I don't belong to a sub-culture or religion that is stigmatized/fetishized within American culture so I don't have to deal, daily, with ignorant fear, anger, hatred, or sexual advances. I don't have to deal with people crossing the street to avoid walking near me. I don't EVER get called names for just simply having my skin color, my speech pattern, my religious affiliation, my sexual orientation, etc.

Growing up in the south, I never SAW this going on around me growing up. Yes, I KNEW racism was alive and well, and I've overheard the older generation say some pretty racist things, but I never SAW or HEARD a POC being teased or treated badly to their face. And I *think* I'm pretty sensitive to tension, so I don't think I was just oblivious. Whatever the reason, I never saw anyone being treated poorly because of their skin or ethnic heritage or religion, so I thought it must just never go on anywhere. Once you understand that it DOES go on, that just because YOU, as a white person, don't see it, doesn't mean it doesn't go on, then the walls start coming down.

Dragonfly's answer is the perfect exemplar of a typical white person's (or any person of privilege in any social hierarchy) reasoning for why its perfectly fine to ask those sorts of questions. They're (we're) privileged and thus don't mind when THEY (we) are asked those questions. The answers don't reveal anything "bad" or "negative" about themselves. They don't have to fear being judged based on those answers, or wonder if the feelings of the person asking the questions will change about them based on the answer. They don't have to worry that the question is NOT innocent, and their pulse doesn't speed up, and their skin doesn't flush with the fear that the question will be followed up with a hateful message, or a crude remark, or a denigrating smirk, or even a physical attack. Every. Single. Time.

But it's hard to understand someone else's POV when it's something you've never had to experience (as opposed to sharing an experience and thus being able to empathize with one another.) I think exercises like this help:

http://www.upworthy.com/i-never-thought-id-want-to-high-five-a-teacher-for-yelling-at-a-student-but-i-was-wrong?g=2

 

[Smith1942]

Re: How Do You Feel When Strangers Ask , "Where Are You From

I agree that racism is still everywhere. Although the world is a better place than it used to be, we're a long way from being a non-racist society.

One of my friends is an African-American news anchor. Or, she was, until she was bullied out of her job due to her skin colour. She told me that the cameramen had alerted her to what was going on. Apparently, two white news anchors at her station had taken to making general disparaging remarks about her on air during the type of broadcasts where they were out and about (as opposed to straight news-reading in the studio) but when the cameras stopped rolling, the remarks between themselves would turn racist. So the cameramen told her about it. I think she tried to take steps but nothing was done, and after a while she left. She hasn't had a full-time job of that type since, but she freelances.

At home, London is welcoming a high number of immigrants from Romania. You should hear the way the British talk about them. Well, I'm sure you can imagine - I won't repeat here. Well, guess what? The best colleague I ever had was Romanian. She had married a British guy - they met on holiday. She spoke fantastic English, she was so bright, so intelligent, really together, hard-working and easy to get along with. She was great. I cannot imagine being her, and having to deal with all the attitudes in London towards Romanians. In the UK, racism against people of African origin or ancestry is a real no-no, but somehow racist remarks against anyone from Eastern Europe, particularly Romania, are OK.

Back in the States, I'm often surprised at the level of racism towards people of Latin descent, background or ancestry. I had never heard of that before moving to the States.

Since moving to the US seven years ago, I've been asked where I'm from more times than I've had hot dinners, and although most of the time it's just curiosity, the never-ending question does get really, really old. It's hard for me to interact with any shopkeeper or go out for a drink or a meal without being asked where I'm from, and I get so fed up with answering the question again, and again, and again, pretty much every day and sometimes multiple times a day if I'm interacting with others. I've just taken to saying, "I"m from here."

I don't think, in my case, that the question is racist or xenophobic at all, it's just curiosity because I speak with a strong English accent, although most people think I'm from Ireland or Australia.

However, I have definitely experienced some xenophobia. The way I process this is to view it as the lot of all immigrants to the United States. Anyone who moves to a different country experiences it, I'm sure. Fortunately, it's been quite rare, only about three people in the seven years. Basically, I've been thoroughly and roundly blamed by the odd person for the fact that America used to be a UK colony. Apparently, that is totally my fault, in the view of some. I have been roundly chastised for what the British government did hundreds of years ago. One person at work got really specific and emailed me about something the British officers did in the Revolution - put germs in some blankets, I think. That's my fault too, apparently. And another person at work called me a "British snob" for not liking the taste of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. And another girl was interested in a UK drink that I had, some orange squash, (like Kool-Aid) and I offered her some and she basically recoiled in horror and refused to try it, as though it would poison her.

So the long and short is, yes, I bloody well do mind the question, "Where are you from?" They are totally trying to place you, so they can put you in your box. If I say Irish, I'm cool and fun and probably love alcohol. If I say Australian, I'm laid-back and probably love the sun. And if I say British, some people really delight in having a go at the British, maybe because the country was such a tall poppy a long time ago.

The question is asked in a completely different way as an immigrant than it is when I'm at home. When one British person asks another "Where are you from?" they just mean what town or county did you grow up in. As an immigrant, it's absolutely a more loaded question.

 

[blackprophet]

Re: How Do You Feel When Strangers Ask , "Where Are You From

I wont quote the posts but a huge +10000000000 for AprilMay and Smith1942 posts above. Well said and well written.

 

[craighnt]

Re: How Do You Feel When Strangers Ask , "Where Are You From

I was bore and raised in California but people constantly ask me where I am from. Most don't believe me. "you don't look like you are from California" "you are the only one we like from California" "you don't act like you are from California" "are you sure you are from California?"

We are not all like this :LOL
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/15/the-californians-snl-skit_n_1426953.html

 

[AGBF]

Re: How Do You Feel When Strangers Ask , "Where Are You From

I had a nice experience in a Dunkin Donuts shop yesterday. I asked, "the question" in my own fashion, but felt sure from the vibes that it would be received as it was received. I had just bought a coffee from a very handsome young man (as in 20's) who was wearing a name tag that said, "Hassan". I do not know him well, but I go into this shop a lot and have seen him before. While I was still putting away change and taking my coffee several men in workers' clothes came in and starting speaking rapid Spanish with Hassan. I looked up and, without really thinking, said, "Something tells me that Spanish is not your native language, Hassan". I was smiling, because I found what he was doing so admirable. It ended in my saying, in Spanish, that I had an Italian husband and I spoke a little Spanish; a little Italian; and a little French. The Spanish men looked at me with new interest. Hassan told me that he was from Pakistan and spoke Urdu and Hindi (although he didn't name them) and had then learned Spanish working here. Meanwhile a young white woman who worked in the doughnut shop said that Hassan was the only person who worked there who had learned Spanish.

I kept giving Hassan a thumbs up sign and telling him he was wonderful and telling him that languages were great. I left here in a glow, amazed at this young man's interest in communicating with others and his ability to master different languages while working in a doughnut shop. He was so wonderful!

Deb

 

[innerkitten]

Re: How Do You Feel When Strangers Ask , "Where Are You From

Why do they think you're artist?

She has a bohemian look about her. I hope she doesn't mind me saying that. Bohemians are cool.