How do you explain to your gf that her ideal cut diamond is good despite poor color and clarity?

[WinkHPD]

Date: 4/6/2008 12:50:02 AM
Author: jchau

This is like a nightmare that never ends. I just told my family (sister and mom) that I bought the diamond and as soon as they heard the color and clarity, they flipped out. They say I am getting ripped off online, and that my stone gonna be yellow. When I tried to explain the importance of a diamond''s cut, they insisted that a yellow diamond is a yellow diamond and nothing will change that. Some people are just so stubborn. Or am I being stubborn?

First rule of buying a diamond, get the cut.

Second rule. Don''t tell people who know little about diamonds what you are doing. They will parrot back to you the same misinformation they got from the Mall Jeweler''s employee who was selling ladies shoes the week before he "educated" them. An H is NOT a yellow color. It is very slightly off-white and many if not most people can not distinguish an H from an F in the face up position.

The worst thing about what you have done is that now one of them will probably tell your fiance to be "for her own good" and she will be prepared not to love your stone.

Also, please rethink your statement about this being a nightmare. This has been a good experience for you and you have gotten some fantastic advice and even seen first hand the integrity with which the on line vendors here handle themselves.

The people who you have been dealing with KNOW diamonds. The vendors here on Pricescope are some of the most thoroughly educated jewelers and gemologists on the planet. Heck, many of the "consumers" here should be given some kind of industry designation as knowing more than the average jeweler. (Sad thing to have to say about one''s profession, but it is true, sadly, that the average jeweler does not know very much about the science behind the beauty that they sell.)

You have availed yourself of an incredible resource here, please do not allow the comments from someone who does not yet know what they are talking about to dissuade you from being happy with your intended purchase, especially before you yourself have seen the beauty in question.

Wink

P.S. Those are just my rules! Others are free to disagree.

 

[~*kalypso*~]

Date: 4/6/2008 12:50:02 AM
Author: jchau
This is like a nightmare that never ends. I just told my family (sister and mom) that I bought the diamond and as soon as they heard the color and clarity, they flipped out. They say I am getting ripped off online, and that my stone gonna be yellow. When I tried to explain the importance of a diamond''s cut, they insisted that a yellow diamond is a yellow diamond and nothing will change that. Some people are just so stubborn. Or am I being stubborn?

Maybe a bit of both?

Wow I feel for you. You''re spending a good amont of money for this ring and seem to have put a lot of research into this.

Just keep in mind, you can''t please EVERYONE, so I think you have to think about who you really want to please most. Your family, your girlfriend, or your wallet?

If you want to please your family and girlfriend, you might have to sacrifice on other things or just deal with the criticism.

(keep in mind it will be her wallet too once the two of you are married so you might want to kind of discuss that with her too... if possible

)

If you guys don''t mind compromising I think you''ve found a nice ring for her.

Some people will think what they think and you can''t change their views.

Like I said before, I ''d clear it a bit more with your girlfriend if possible. It''d be nice if the two of you came up with a good compromise. I know you want to give your girlfriend a complete surprise but if it''s a surprise ring that she''s not liking, that might not be the reaction you were hoping for. It would be sad if she was unhappy with her ring and that could have been avoided.

I don''t think giving her a pamphlet with the pros of a good cut with the ring is a very nice surprise too.

Have you spoken with your GF again? Has your GF researched rings? What''s most important to her and what is she willing to sacrifice a bit on, or is she not? Is she color sensitive?

I know myself, I''ve only seen a few rings in person, in stores like Tiffanys, HW, Fortunoff, mall stores etc., but without looking at what there colors were I could see the difference easily, and it was confirmed when I looked at the tags with the specs, but for example some Gs were better than other Gs, so I think other factors plays a role in the overall beauty of the ring. An H colored diamond could look overall better than a G colored diamond.

I totally agree with the above posts though. If you are unsure, definitely look at the diamond in person if possible and have your mom and sister look at it too. Are their views similar to your GFs?


Good luck!

 

[WinkHPD]

Here is a picture that will illustrate what we are talking about with color looking better with great cutting. Here is a G between a D and an E and the G looks whiter from the top than the E.

Wink

 

[marcy]

When we were looking to upgrade my diamond and rings my husband had no preconceived notions just he knew if we didn''t get me the "best" diamond I would hate it and want to upgrade within weeks. We went to a store and asked to look at a 0, 1 and 2 make diamond (ideal cut, very good and good cut). We both without hesitation picked out a 0 make. Then from there we picked out which ideal cut diamond we both liked. I did end up getting an E but once I saw an ideal cut the color became less important to me.

I would make sure you get a diamond your GF is happy with and one you are proud to give her. If you get the ideal cut I doubt anyone will say you made a bad choice because her diamond will be gorgeous. I have a friend at work that has a larger PC ering than my RB - her FI asked for the cheapest diamond in her desired carat range when he purchased it. My diamond is night and day different from hers and she is became very unhappy with her diamond once I showed up with mine. Her diamond is a good cut, G with a naked eye visible flaw. She wants an upgrade so bad she can hardly stand it. They got married last summer and she must mention it at least once a week.

If a group of girls get together and all stick out their hands to compare rings - the thing they will all notice is which diamond sparkles the most and you get that from ideal cut diamonds.

Good luck.

 

[cwj]

Date: 4/6/2008 12:50:02 AM
Author: jchau
This is like a nightmare that never ends. I just told my family (sister and mom) that I bought the diamond and as soon as they heard the color and clarity, they flipped out. They say I am getting ripped off online, and that my stone gonna be yellow. When I tried to explain the importance of a diamond''s cut, they insisted that a yellow diamond is a yellow diamond and nothing will change that. Some people are just so stubborn. Or am I being stubborn?

Okay I know this is going to sound a little dishonest, but try this: tell mom and sis that u listened to them and called and changed the order. Then tell them when it comes u want them to look at it before anyone else because u trust their opinions. Then its up to u if u ever tell them what it really is, I personally don''t think anyone needs to know what your stone is graded! If u like it and your gf likes it! Take it to a appraiser for your own knowledge then dont mention it to anyone else. Most people aren''t rude enough to ask about that kind of thing and if they do just tell them u did your home work and got the best diamond available for your buget and add because she is worth it, or something like- I got the best I could find and I know I could have gone bigger but I wanted the best I could get!

I think u can trust WF and it will be prefect!! I can say that because I just put my total trust in them and am buying a ACA H&A J, something I would never have done before learning so much from the people on this site!

At the most, u will lose money on postage if u don''t love the stone.

cwj

Remember most people don''t know as much as they think they do about diamonds.

 

[arjunajane]

Date: 4/6/2008 9:43:10 AM
Author: Wink

Date: 4/6/2008 12:50:02 AM
Author: jchau

This is like a nightmare that never ends. I just told my family (sister and mom) that I bought the diamond and as soon as they heard the color and clarity, they flipped out. They say I am getting ripped off online, and that my stone gonna be yellow. When I tried to explain the importance of a diamond''s cut, they insisted that a yellow diamond is a yellow diamond and nothing will change that. Some people are just so stubborn. Or am I being stubborn?

First rule of buying a diamond, get the cut.

Second rule. Don''t tell people who know little about diamonds what you are doing. They will parrot back to you the same misinformation they got from the Mall Jeweler''s employee who was selling ladies shoes the week before he ''educated'' them. An H is NOT a yellow color. It is very slightly off-white and many if not most people can not distinguish an H from an F in the face up position.

The worst thing about what you have done is that now one of them will probably tell your fiance to be ''for her own good'' and she will be prepared not to love your stone.

Also, please rethink your statement about this being a nightmare. This has been a good experience for you and you have gotten some fantastic advice and even seen first hand the integrity with which the on line vendors here handle themselves.

The people who you have been dealing with KNOW diamonds. The vendors here on Pricescope are some of the most thoroughly educated jewelers and gemologists on the planet. Heck, many of the ''consumers'' here should be given some kind of industry designation as knowing more than the average jeweler. (Sad thing to have to say about one''s profession, but it is true, sadly, that the average jeweler does not know very much about the science behind the beauty that they sell.)

You have availed yourself of an incredible resource here, please do not allow the comments from someone who does not yet know what they are talking about to dissuade you from being happy with your intended purchase, especially before you yourself have seen the beauty in question.

Wink

P.S. Those are just my rules! Others are free to disagree.

Amen to that!
I wanted to post something to make jchau feel better about his purchase, but Wink, you''ve said it all here and I couldn''t have said it better!

Jchau, I am awaiting the arrival of an ideal cut I colour stone from GOG at the moment, and I''m not apprehensive in any way about the colour - without seeing the stone in person I have every confidence it will face up very white due to the great cut - if others around you don''t understand this concept or the advantages of buying online, don''t let them sway you! Wait till the ring gets there, then watch them swallow their words!

You''ve been given some great advice and made a wise decision in your purchase, and I''m sure both you and your girl (and her family

) will be thrilled with the ring..
Sleep easy, and be sure to post some pics of your fab diamond when it arrives!

 

[icekid]

Oh my... no one has ever asked the color nor clarity of my diamond, but I''ve gotten many many comments because "it''s so sparkly!" It must be a cultural thing, as the only thing I''ve ever been asked was ct weight and that was only by my mom and some close friends. For the record, it''s E/SI2 and certainly is not filled with black inclusions.

It may be slightly dishonest... but perhaps you can have WF send the diamond to you while working on the setting so that you may show your family how fab it is, as others have mentioned. Your family/friends don''t need to know every little detail about your life with your future wife and this includes the stats on your diamond. As long as your gf ends up loving the stone, it can be your little secret. Seriously, who needs that kind of condescending tone over a DIAMOND of all things?!

 

[cutes814]

hey jchau,

i know how you feel. i have a 1.64ct I VS1 stone and whenever i get together with my gf''s, they can''t believe it''s an I. they all own D''s, E''s, or the lowest color F. and none of the clarity goes below VS either.

they usually take my ring and place it next to all their rings and still can''t tell the difference, but in their mind, there is a difference, so they usually say, "ya, i think *blanks* D is definitely the most white" but once we shuffles the rings around, they forget who''s whos and they can''t tell again. it''s all about having a mind clean stone.

don''t worry, it''ll be okay. you made a fabulous choice with the stone you chose. just make sure to show the diamond to your fiance-to-be and let her fall in love with the ring first. if she asks what is the color and clarity, then ask her back if she loves the ring. if she says yes, then tell her the stats. if she says no, then say you''ll have to take it back and get another one. but of course you''ll have to go down in size to make it possible.

i''m sure she''ll love the diamond. the cut will out sparkle any diamond her friends might have.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I really think you should consider having WF set it in their inexpensive stock tiffany setting so that she can pick out the permanent setting after she gets the ring. That way, it won''t be a big problem if she ends up choosing to upgrade the color or clarity of the diamond.

 

[Pandora II]

I helped my brother buy an e-ring just before xmas.

He got a 1.05 rb H SI1 (eyeclean) from Whiteflash and it looks incredibly white - she has darker skin so it looks even whiter on her than it does on me.

I took my brother to Graff, Tiffany, Cartier and De Beers. In Cartier, I asked the SA to put 1.5ct D, F, G rb rings in a tray. My brother picked the G out as being the D - which showed how colour sensitive he was.

No one has ever asked the stats on his ring - but the sparkle off it is incredible and it looks huge for it''s size.

 

[.dee]

having gone through this myself i can give you the following advice, buy something that will make your girl happy and not you. if she has some preconceived notion that it has to be no less than a G, then believe me you could give her the best possible looking H/I and she still wont be happy! I got mine an Ideal Cut, Ex/Ex/Ex/Ex VS2/F/2.02ca I paid quite a premium to have the Cut/Color/Size/Clarity combination that i got, and i think it is worth every $, simply because SHE loves it, I guess what we as guys are trying to achieve is having your g/f blown away by the ring that you get, and as such what you ultimately buy has to be governed by what she desires.

 

[jchau]

Date: 4/7/2008 2:29:46 AM
Author: .dee
having gone through this myself i can give you the following advice, buy something that will make your girl happy and not you. if she has some preconceived notion that it has to be no less than a G, then believe me you could give her the best possible looking H/I and she still wont be happy! I got mine an Ideal Cut, Ex/Ex/Ex/Ex VS2/F/2.02ca I paid quite a premium to have the Cut/Color/Size/Clarity combination that i got, and i think it is worth every $, simply because SHE loves it, I guess what we as guys are trying to achieve is having your g/f blown away by the ring that you get, and as such what you ultimately buy has to be governed by what she desires.

Dee, I agree 100% that ultimately, I should get whatever makes her happy. However, that combinaton is a little out of my budget. Also, I feel that she only wants a certain color and clarity because she THINKS those are the only important factors in a good diamond. I don''t like conforming to what the general society wants me to believe and like to base my decision on all the facts. Hopefully, she will feel the same after she gets the diamond and learns a little about it.

I went ahead and bought the diamond with the custom setting. No going back now

! It should be here in the beginning of May. I can''t wait! If she doesn''t like it, Whiteflash has a lifetime upgrade policy on the diamond. Looks like a win-win situation for me (except no return on the setting since it''s custom, but I am pretty certain she will love the setting.)

Sidenote: I took my mom to CD Peacock to check out their Hearts on Fire diamonds. They wanted $13,000 for a 1.13ct, H, SI1 round diamond and $23,000 for a 1.57ct I, VS1. I am so glad I found this forum. Thanks everyone!

 

[cwj]

I''m sure she will love it!! Be sure and post pictures when u get them!! I personally think u did great following your own mind. Learning and do what u know is the best for you.
cwj

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 4/7/2008 9:25:40 PM
Author: jchau

Date: 4/7/2008 2:29:46 AM
Author: .dee
having gone through this myself i can give you the following advice, buy something that will make your girl happy and not you. if she has some preconceived notion that it has to be no less than a G, then believe me you could give her the best possible looking H/I and she still wont be happy! I got mine an Ideal Cut, Ex/Ex/Ex/Ex VS2/F/2.02ca I paid quite a premium to have the Cut/Color/Size/Clarity combination that i got, and i think it is worth every $, simply because SHE loves it, I guess what we as guys are trying to achieve is having your g/f blown away by the ring that you get, and as such what you ultimately buy has to be governed by what she desires.

Dee, I agree 100% that ultimately, I should get whatever makes her happy. However, that combinaton is a little out of my budget. Also, I feel that she only wants a certain color and clarity because she THINKS those are the only important factors in a good diamond. I don''t like conforming to what the general society wants me to believe and like to base my decision on all the facts. Hopefully, she will feel the same after she gets the diamond and learns a little about it.

I went ahead and bought the diamond with the custom setting. No going back now

! It should be here in the beginning of May. I can''t wait! If she doesn''t like it, Whiteflash has a lifetime upgrade policy on the diamond. Looks like a win-win situation for me (except no return on the setting since it''s custom, but I am pretty certain she will love the setting.)

Sidenote: I took my mom to CD Peacock to check out their Hearts on Fire diamonds. They wanted $13,000 for a 1.13ct, H, SI1 round diamond and $23,000 for a 1.57ct I, VS1. I am so glad I found this forum. Thanks everyone!

That was a smart move! How did you mom feel about those ideal cuts in the H and I color range?

DD

 

[kanemarie]

One thing I''ve realized when buying diamond jewelry is that you can''t be too stuck on stats. Yes, I agree, it''s important. But not everything. You have to see how that diamond sparkles and looks in a setting. I''ve seen some outstanding H SI stones. It is all in how they are cut. That is the most important thing to look for. This is the symbol of your union. It should represent everything you feel about this woman, not her bf''s. Women are not judged by their stats, but a lot of other factors. Give her a diamond that reflects her personality and your affection for her.

 

[jchau]

Date: 4/7/2008 9:58:07 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

That was a smart move! How did you mom feel about those ideal cuts in the H and I color range?

DD

She can totally tell the color difference between an I and G colored Hearts on Fire. She said they both sparkled really nicely. We also went to a friend jeweler of hers who was offering us F colored, VVS1 clarity GIA Very Good cut diamonds for really cheap. The jeweler said she can get me an H, SI1 GIA Excellent cut for only $9,500. The F, VVS1 diamonds were REALLY nice. Lots of fire and sparkle. But I rather have AGS Ideal 0 than GIA Excellent and I hate mixing business and personal relationships.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Wise move on not mixing business and personal relationships! We almost never see the person end up with a good diamond when they do that.

Going to look at Hearts on Fire stones REALLY makes you appreciate the prices these vendors have on hearts and arrows stones, doesn''t it?!!!

Please come back with pictures of the finished ring! We''ll be really interested in hearing her reaction when she sees it, too! Good luck to you!!!