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How do you decide/plan a purchase?

lovedogs

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 31, 2014
Messages
12,880
Ugh. Sorry @lovedogs .

No others in that material that you would consider?

Is it possible for you to get on a waitlist? (Sorry if I’m asking stupid questions-I don’t know this seller).

Not stupid questions at all! I'm asking the seller about potential alternatives. We will see what happens. I really like the vendor, but definitely you need to be ready to buy bc no holds and returns incur a $100-150 fee. Totally understandable bc they sell rare/unique stuff but hard for a risk averse person like me to pull the trigger quickly haha.
 

lulu_ma

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 9, 2020
Messages
959
I can totally relate. I felt a little like this :sick: when I messaged Alex Park about my OEC.

:pray:Hope the seller has something good for you or the other party backs out!
 

bludiva

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Sep 23, 2017
Messages
2,645
That’s the risk/reward with instasellers imho .... there are some great finds but you have to decide based on a photo or video snippet and if you change your mind are potentially stuck with fees or reselling a big ticket item. Don’t beat yourself up! You may not find the same thing again but something awesome will turn up when you are ready :)
 

LilAlex

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Mar 3, 2018
Messages
1,037
:pray:Hope the seller has something good for you or the other party backs out!

And if they do, there's a reason...

Sorry you missed out.

Missing out on a piece of antique/vintage jewelry hurts more, imo, than a loose stone. Spouse and I both admired a unisex(ish) ring (different fingers!) we saw in person and we failed to pull the trigger and it sold later that day. We were surprisingly disappointed. (Each of us, after the fact: "Well, why didn't you say something?!?") That week, I decided I'd better finally commit and buy an antique ring that we had admired for about five years online and "visited" in person every few years when traveling. I took for granted that it would always be there for me (!). Unconventionally attractive (corundum cab) and not what is popular now. That was a while ago and I'm glad we did it -- it has also put the brakes on a lot more looking. It's not a "grail" piece but I guess it had been calling to me :roll2:. So it's FOMO that drives us and most loose stones are "replaceable," imo.

So the flip side: I don't like how IG has turned this into a game show where you have to smack the buzzer ASAP. Post one fabulous photo and some inexperienced follower will take the bait and beat you to the punch. (Wow that's a lot of cliches to make one point.)
 

sledge

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 23, 2018
Messages
4,515
Hey @lovedogs, you remember that one time when you nearly pulled the trigger on the IDJ stone and like magic your dream CBI dropped in your lap?

What did I say? Trust your gut, treat people right and it will work out.

I’m sorry this one didn’t work out but no ragrets (not even one letter, lol). Seriously head high. If it’s meant to be it will work out and if not then plan B, C, D or whatever will be even sweeter.

*hugs*
 

LLJsmom

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Oct 24, 2012
Messages
11,038
Hope it will turn out right for you, and they will find you another that you love just as much.

I have stuff on my list for years. Many years. I think about it, and decide I want it but can't buy it yet. I wait 6-12 months to see if the feeling of desire goes away. Sometimes it fades in and out. I can take it off the list completely, and then when I walk by the store I try it on and it goes back on the list. Then I will do a tester, a VERY cheap alternative, to see if there is anything that will fill the gap, or to figure out what I may not like about it. And sometimes I discover that other options I considered won't work, and it goes back on my list. I am about to pull the trigger on a pair of earrings that I've had on my list for about 2-3 years now. It's not super pricey, but I hate spending on anything that I don't get lots of wear out of, that I don't reach for.

I've wanted a 3 stone for almost 20 years, and have never bought anything but testers. I kept trying other rings before succumbing. It just felt like such a big financial and emotional commitment. I think I waited too long.

There are a few pieces I have just bought because I trusted my gut. My five motif chalcedony, which I don't regret for a second, is one of them. There are a few preloved pieces I missed that will forever remain in my heart, an antique bow brooch at Lang's, and a cartier orchid necklace. It's too bad. I will never find them again. But I would rather miss out than buy too many or make a wrong purchase.
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
45,925
Late to this thread but first of all I am sorry @lovedogs and gentle hugs.

Second of all I am a big believer in that if this was meant to be it will be and if not something better is on the way.

Bubbalah (my OEC) came back to me after I regretted not purchasing her and so clearly she was meant to be for me. If this piece is meant to be time will tell and if not then 100% something better will be yours at a future date. I firmly believe it.

So take heart and I am sorry you feel sad but in time you will be glad. I know it. Sorry if that sounds super corny but it is from my heart and my heart is never wrong in these cases. (((Hugs))).
 

Piper70

Rough_Rock
Joined
Nov 19, 2019
Messages
93
Unlike most of you, I have no plan at all. When I feel comfortable spending a certain amount, I pick something and make it my Christmas or birthday gift so I don’t feel guilty. I tend to pick classic pieces so I don’t regret it later. The only jewelry pieces I have regretted were the ones when I settled for what I could afford at the time.
That being said, I would probably pull the trigger on a unicorn. Metaphorically speaking, of course.
 

missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
45,925
That being said, I would probably pull the trigger on a unicorn. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Ooh yes 100% agree but will add one comment. I would pull the trigger on a metaphorical unicorn (well I already did lol) but I would also pull the trigger on a literal unicorn. No question :lol: and in fact that would be the more exciting one to get. :bigsmile:


unicorn.gif

Majestic indeed.


@lovedogs you will find your unicorn!
 

sledge

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 23, 2018
Messages
4,515
Hey @lovedogs, you remember that one time when you nearly pulled the trigger on the IDJ stone and like magic your dream CBI dropped in your lap?

What did I say? Trust your gut, treat people right and it will work out.

I’m sorry this one didn’t work out but no ragrets (not even one letter, lol). Seriously head high. If it’s meant to be it will work out and if not then plan B, C, D or whatever will be even sweeter.

*hugs*

My video link didn’t post. Maybe it was user error. It was late when I posted. Either way maybe this brings clarity to my weird comment earlier.

 

tyty333

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 17, 2008
Messages
23,542
I buy things for big birthdays or big anniversaries. I feel like if I just bought things when I saw them and liked them I
would probably buy things that in the long run wouldnt mean that much to me. It doesnt make them special if I just
buy them for whenever/whatever reason. I'm kind of weird that way.

Doesnt mean that if I saw something I really wanted at an unbelievable deal, which will never happen, that I wouldnt go
ahead and buy and it and just claim its for my upcoming birthday or anniversary!:lol: They're my rules so I can break
them anytime I want!:bigsmile:
 

tyty333

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 17, 2008
Messages
23,542
Asking to get some perspective as I am trying to decide whether to pull the trigger on a big (for me) budget item. It checks multiple boxes of things I've wanted for years now, but came about unexpectedly when I wasn't actively looking. It would mean no more bling for the rest of this year (probably).

Do it, do it, do it!!! I'm always happy to encourage others when the item will bring them joy!

No RAGRETS!
 

Mreader

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Aug 14, 2018
Messages
1,316
@lovedogs thank you for satisfying our curiosity and showing us the stone because I was very curious also. I don’t have any words of wisdom I tend to be a spontaneous buyer rather than a planner but for a really high ticket item of course that requires more contemplation. I also hate the IG feeling of having to jump on something without thinking it through. Hugs to you and again there is always another stone around the corner which was what I was told by wise PSers when I thought I had missed out on a stone.
 

MRBXXXFVVS1

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 5, 2019
Messages
1,083
I have a wish list, but ultimately it just depends on how much I want something. I usually weigh the opportunity cost. Would I rather save/spend the money on something else? I then let DH know if there's a gifting occasion coming up!

I most recently decided against a Lightbox 4ctw (4, 1ct diamond) platinum band in favor of buying the new Peloton treadmill when it comes out. I don't want the ring that much, rather spend the money on other things.
 

KristinTech

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Aug 7, 2013
Messages
1,790
Hope it's ok to post this here! I would love to hear from fellow PSers how they decide to pull the trigger on a "big" (price wise) item.

Do you have a mental list of things you are saving for and check them off? Or a monthly/yearly bling budget and you buy stuff you love without set "plans"? Or other?

Asking to get some perspective as I am trying to decide whether to pull the trigger on a big (for me) budget item. It checks multiple boxes of things I've wanted for years now, but came about unexpectedly when I wasn't actively looking. It would mean no more bling for the rest of this year (probably).


Cant really share more than that, so keeping the question vague to hear folk's own thought process when deciding on a purchase.

I buy a $25 knockoff to live with the look for quite awhile before I get serious about buying...
 

Diamond Girl 21

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 26, 2017
Messages
1,075
I have a few different methods. Here's two of them.

1) When I have a good idea of what I want, I research, study, search the web, and save up. I agonize over if there is something better out there. This process sometimes takes years. When I'm pretty sure I found "the one", I gingerly bring up the topic to my DH. I always stress the "I only want one gift angle...and really isn't it better to get one big gift?" ;-) He usually goes for this, but always suggests I could get something even better if I edit my existing collection. I know he's right. I'm working on it....

For example, I want a larger emerald cut. The dream ring would be a 3 ct, colorless, VVS center, with tapered baguette sides. I'm still researching, agonizing over choices, and negotiating the number of gifts this ring will replace. I'm also starting to think it may never happen. Sigh....

2) Scenario number 2: I see something I really like. It's reasonable. I buy it....total impulse style. Sometimes this works great, and sometimes I regret the purchase.

An example of this is how I recently woke up at 3:00am to see the host on JTV showing a pink lab diamond ring that I thought was pretty and a good deal. Without much thought at all, I bought it. Luckily for me, I am very happy with this purchase.

Now I just have to continue editing my collection, and figuring out how many years of gifts this new ring will replace.
 

AnastasiaBeaverhausen

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Sep 11, 2013
Messages
1,419
Bc I know both of you were curious. It was the stone on the right in this post.


They don't hold stones so I knew that taking time to decide was a risk, but I just couldnt make a decision about a big $ purchase quickly. Totally regret it now, but that's ok. I truly wasnt ready to buy until today, and would have probably felt a lot of guilt if I had spent so much without giving it a lot of thought.

There are always stones, but man I am sad about this one.

Thanks for sharing with us your dream stone. It was really gorgeous. I understand why you're bummed to have missed out on it. But I believe in serendipity, so another one will come along. And then you'll be ready!!
 

La2020

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Nov 15, 2020
Messages
596
I actually have a budget and a list of rough idea of what I want to buy. Once the list is exhausted or I have exceeded my budget, I will stop.

However, having said that, I am actually a fugal person, and my mom has been encouraging me to pamper myself since she knows I have hardly spent anything on myself, ever since I started work! Now, everything diamond I show her, her default reaction is " It looks amazing! What are you waiting for?!". :lol-2: What an enabler!
 

AMRose

Rough_Rock
Joined
Jul 14, 2019
Messages
48
Great thread as I also wonder about this! I suppose I plan purchases as I have a list of items with priortiy order of what I'd love to own if the right one popped up. In determining to whether to purchase I tend to go by: Does it make my heart sing? Would it bring me joy every day? Have I seen others I preferred more? Can I just not stop thinking about it?

I'm somewhat minimalist, don't wear much jewelry, so my list is not that long. Generally I am saver and don't like spending money.

Example, I have always wanted an antique asscher, which are hard to find. Saw one on Insta last year, then saw it again in the fall. It's imperfect but I still cannot stop thinking about it!!! (No idea if it's even still available). Husband said he didn't care if I bought it, but I would feel guilty if spent the money on it because it's quite expensive. UGH. It's a struggle!
 

Ceilimom

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Sep 5, 2018
Messages
381
I think this is a great question and probably everyone’s answer will be different.
I have a hybrid method, if you will.
I would characterize my method as long-term planning on big pieces to create my jeweler wardrobe while at the same time being open to the right thing if it sneaks up on you quicker than you planned!
I definitely plan out my foundation big pieces. Examples would include my 8.5-9mm opera length pearl strand, my diamond bracelets (one white gold one yellow), my diamond stud earrings. My solitaire diamond pendant. Each of these took a long time.
But then if I see something that I would cut my left arm off for, then I snap it up quickly if financially possible. Example of this is my avatar 4.5 carat cornflower blue sapphire set in an over-the-top 1960’s marquise and round diamond bombe ring. I had been looking for a showstopper RHR but didn’t know exactly what it was until I saw it! When I saw it....boom.
But again, I had planned on a RHR for a long time.

No right or wrong answer here IMHO.
PS-I totally understand you being deliberately vague....but please let us know once you pull the trigger!

Please post pictures of the cornflower blue sapphire ring.
 

Fabfashion

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Mar 23, 2021
Messages
158
Bc I know both of you were curious. It was the stone on the right in this post.


They don't hold stones so I knew that taking time to decide was a risk, but I just couldnt make a decision about a big $ purchase quickly. Totally regret it now, but that's ok. I truly wasnt ready to buy until today, and would have probably felt a lot of guilt if I had spent so much without giving it a lot of thought.

There are always stones, but man I am sad about this one.

@lovedogs, may be the next one will be “The One.” I’m a firm believer that things happen for a reason. Good luck! Please keep us posted.
 
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