HELP! Modifying my engagement ring...

[Weddingbeebeebee]

I am completely in love with my fiancé and so extremely excited to marry him! However, I’m having a really hard time falling in love with my engagement ring.
I feel so incredibly guilty! I’m not a fan of big flashy jewellery, and I prefer smaller and simple designs. My beautiful fiancé went above and beyond, and appears to have spent lot of money on a big engagement ring for me that I just can’t seem to get used to. I want so badly to be happy with it and proudly show it off, but it’s not my style and doesn’t feel like me. It breaks my heart!
I very delicately suggested to him that the ring felt ‘a bit much’ for me, and being the beautiful soul that he is, he told me that we could modify it any way we wanted and that it’s not important what the ring looks like, it’s only that we are engaged.
I’m wondering what are easy modifications to make to this ring? I’d really appreciate your help with suggestions to modifications, and what modifications cost.

This is the ring he had made:

I’m not crazy about the pear shaped diamonds at the top, but I thought if they couldn’t be replaced then maybe I could add them to the wedding band and create a set... Like this:

Can anyone tell me if that would be an easy/cheap fix?

Or do you think a jeweler would substitute the pear diamonds for a different design? Like these smaller ones:

I really appreciate any suggestions and advice! THANK YOU!

 

[tkyasx78]

Why not have the center stone put in a solitaire setting for the time being and then if you want for a 5 year anniversary you can do a new setting that is more to your liking.

I would not try to pay anyone to alter that setting.

A simple solitaire setting for the center stone would be non critical of his choice for a setting and later you can have one made you like when his feelings won’t be hurt.

 

[Lykame]

Congratulations on your engagement and also well done for handling this subject so sensitively. That your fiancé took it well is also kudos to him, although he clearly put effort into this so it's important to carefully tread around his feelings. Sounds like you have managed very well.

I agree modifying the setting would likely be quite difficult. I think you have a number of options. You could just have a setting with the three pears removed and have like a subtle three stone ring. That would keep the side profile view the same from at least one side. You would then need to think about what you did with the three pears. I also like the idea of a simple solitaire and then that curved band you posted first. It's essentially exactly your ring but split into two. However I would only suggest doing that if you actually like that style, and that you're not enjoying showing off your ring currently would suggest that you might struggle even if you split the two concepts into two different rings. You could also perhaps have a necklace made with the other stones? That way you have the stones he got you close to your heart and a more simple solitaire setting that you would enjoy showing off.

Wish you all the luck in figuring this out!

 

[Ally T]

I agree with the above. A simple solitaire & keep the other stones for an anniversary project.

 

[lydial]

A lot of people wear “right hand rings” but only some of the time; If I we’re you I would find a nice basic plain Stuller setting you like with even a matching wedder, (it’s a jewelry setting maker with a huge catalog and a good reputation, google them, you will find them and search on their site for local jewelers who sell their products) have your center stone moved into one of those by a local jeweler, keep the original e-ring intact and eventually find a colored stone and have it put in it. A sapphire, even a heat treated one, would look really cool in that setting. It may take time and patience and research. There is a colored stone forum here that could help you. I would be a little sentimental about the current setting since the boyfriend picked it. I would want to have the chance to wear it occasionally. You will likely save $ doing this over a modified setting.

 

[Weddingbeebeebee]

Why not have the center stone put in a solitaire setting for the time being and then if you want for a 5 year anniversary you can do a new setting that is more to your liking.

I would not try to pay anyone to alter that setting.

A simple solitaire setting for the center stone would be non critical of his choice for a setting and later you can have one made you like when his feelings won’t be hurt.

That's a nice idea! A solitaire setting is nice and simple (just what I'm into) and I like the idea of using the other stones as an anniversary project. You don't happen to know the costs involved with creating a solitaire setting for the centre stone, do you?

Thanks again for your suggestion

 

[Weddingbeebeebee]

Congratulations on your engagement and also well done for handling this subject so sensitively. That your fiancé took it well is also kudos to him, although he clearly put effort into this so it's important to carefully tread around his feelings. Sounds like you have managed very well.

I agree modifying the setting would likely be quite difficult. I think you have a number of options. You could just have a setting with the three pears removed and have like a subtle three stone ring. That would keep the side profile view the same from at least one side. You would then need to think about what you did with the three pears. I also like the idea of a simple solitaire and then that curved band you posted first. It's essentially exactly your ring but split into two. However I would only suggest doing that if you actually like that style, and that you're not enjoying showing off your ring currently would suggest that you might struggle even if you split the two concepts into two different rings. You could also perhaps have a necklace made with the other stones? That way you have the stones he got you close to your heart and a more simple solitaire setting that you would enjoy showing off.

Wish you all the luck in figuring this out!

Thank you so much! It's a very exciting time for us! He really is the best for being so understanding!

I'll need have have a think about whether or not I like the 'crown' look of the three pears. I do think that I would like it more if it was apart of a set, but then again, if I'm not happy showing off the ring as it is now... maybe I would have the same issues showing it off as a set.

Thank you again for your suggestion!

 

[Weddingbeebeebee]

I agree with the above. A simple solitaire & keep the other stones for an anniversary project.

Thank you for input Do you happen to have any idea what it might cost to create a simple solitaire using the centre stone?

Thanks again!

 

[Weddingbeebeebee]

A lot of people wear “right hand rings” but only some of the time; If I we’re you I would find a nice basic plain Stuller setting you like with even a matching wedder, (it’s a jewelry setting maker with a huge catalog and a good reputation, google them, you will find them and search on their site for local jewelers who sell their products) have your center stone moved into one of those by a local jeweler, keep the original e-ring intact and eventually find a colored stone and have it put in it. A sapphire, even a heat treated one, would look really cool in that setting. It may take time and patience and research. There is a colored stone forum here that could help you. I would be a little sentimental about the current setting since the boyfriend picked it. I would want to have the chance to wear it occasionally. You will likely save $ doing this over a modified setting.

That's a great suggestion! I like the idea of leaving the e-ring intact, especially because there's obviously a lot of sentimental value already attached to it.

If I were to take out the centre stone and place it in a solitaire setting, do you know how much that might cost?

 

[msop04]

Another vote for solitaire... if you're into 6 prong sets, my absolute favorite on a budget is by Adwar.
Here is a pic of it for a larger stone. I'll try to post the link in a few... (the prongs won't look like that once set... they look kinda crazy in the pics.

 

[msop04]

I'm not sure about the size of your center, but it is available to fit pretty much any size. It's style #26303...

https://www.adwar.com/products/styles/26303L/view

 

[bludiva]

Most jewelers have access to Stuller settings and i think they start around $200-300 for a simple gold solitaire. Stone setting costs vary but I'd guess in the range of $50-100.

If your fiance had the ring custom made I'd inquire with that jeweler how much it would cost to remove the pears, they may be able to do it for a minimal fee or for free. Agree with saving the diamonds for something else in the future, like a pendant or anniversary band.

Congratulations!

 

[arkieb1]

Set the main stone in a simple solitaire and keep the rest including the setting to one day put a coloured stone into it and wear it as a right hand ring. Best of both worlds, you have the original stone in a simple elegant setting and you get to keep the original ring he gave you too.

 

[Bonfire]

Congratulations on your engagement, a very exciting time! Your fiancé sounds like a great guy and wants you to be happy. You’ve received some great suggestions here. I’m confident you’ll land on a setting to make your heart sing and want to show off to the world! Please continue to share your journey with us!

 

[KKJohnson]

a 3 stone is very classic and with the size of the pears I don't think anyone would believe it is flashy. You could even make a nice pear of earrings with any remaining stones. The reason I suggest this over the wedding band idea is because its not any different than you already have and you dislike it, would you really wear the band?

 

[SimoneDi]

OP, congrats on your engagement! Don’t feel guilty about wanting to change your ring. You can definitely repurpose the stones in a curved band or a different type of a jewel.

To me, based on the 2nd pic, it looks like the crown of round and pear stones were soldered onto a 4 prong solitaire setting. If that’s the case, it might be fairly simple to remove the entire piece. Can you please post more pics? I would personally reach out to DK, send them pics and see what they’d quote you to repair the ring to your liking.

 

[motownmama]

I hope it can be modified and the pears used for your wedding band.

 

[Weddingbeebeebee]

Thank you everyone for your suggestions! This is all so helpful!

I like the idea of having the centre stone remounted into a simple solitaire setting, and then moving the 3x pear diamonds and 2x smaller diamonds (on the side of the centre stone) moved onto a wedding band. To create a set. I'm hoping that will be an easy/cheap solution?

I also was wondering if it was common for jewellers to exchange diamonds, for example, if I wanted to switch out my 3x pear diamonds for more small round diamonds (as seen in photo below). Do you think that would be a possibility? I'm not sure how it works regarding their values etc.



Thank you so much for your help! I really do appreciate it!

 

[Weddingbeebeebee]

OP, congrats on your engagement! Don’t feel guilty about wanting to change your ring. You can definitely repurpose the stones in a curved band or a different type of a jewel.

To me, based on the 2nd pic, it looks like the crown of round and pear stones were soldered onto a 4 prong solitaire setting. If that’s the case, it might be fairly simple to remove the entire piece. Can you please post more pics? I would personally reach out to DK, send them pics and see what they’d quote you to repair the ring to your liking.

Thanks for your response Here are some more pics of my ring...





Do you think it's easy enough to remove the pears/small round stones from the center stone?

I really appreciate your help! Thanks!

 

[bludiva]

Thanks for your response Here are some more pics of my ring...



It looks to me like they could be removed. If you dont want to go to the original jeweler there are jewelers that specialize in repairs. The extra stones would make a pretty pendant.



Do you think it's easy enough to remove the pears/small round stones from the center stone?

I really appreciate your help! Thanks!

 

[mrs-b]

OP -

Jewelers won't normally exchange one of your diamonds for one of theirs. It's not cost effective for them and there are a bunch of risks.

I'm one more who votes for a round center with pear sides, set by David Klass Jewelry in LA. Take a look at this - I think your stones would be perfect in this sort of setting:

(this is from the David Klass instagram page)

https://www.instagram.com/p/B14KZDPliaQ/

 

[motownmama]

Have you shown your ring to a jeweler for advice?

 

[SimoneDi]

Thanks for your response Here are some more pics of my ring...





Do you think it's easy enough to remove the pears/small round stones from the center stone?

I really appreciate your help! Thanks!

It still seems to me that the half-moon crown was soldered onto an exciting solitaire. I would reach out to DK, send him a few pics and see what they say. Alternatively, you can also ask your local jeweler to remove the add-on, that will probably be more convenient for you.

ETA: I saw this set on IG and made me think of your ring. I’d personally use the existing stones to create a curved band.

 

[the_mother_thing]

@Weddingbeebeebee I agree with others who suggested resetting the center diamond into a simple solitaire; that’s the easiest thing to do.

If you don’t want a new setting - or if that option is cost-prohibitive right now (understandable since you have a wedding to pay for and all!) - it *may* be possible and possibly less expensive to have a good/competent bench remove the portion of the ring with the pears, and possibly convert that to a pendant for now (if anything, at this point in time). I think that’s what @SimoneDi is suggesting above as well. Then, they might be able to possibly refinish the portion of the ring where the pears were removed and polish it for you to the point it’s less/not noticeable. Without the pears, you already appear to have a three-stone ring, so it’s not a huge change from the current setting, should just be labor, and may be the least money out of pocket. For that, I would NOT rely on just any jeweler/bench to do the work; either go back to whomever made it for you, or contact David Klass (would totally trust his opinion on this).

Can you post another picture - as ‘level’ as possible - with the pears facing up? Basically this view, but rotate the ring 90-degrees counter clockwise, and take the picture parallel with the ring (like you’re trying to look underneath the pears with the camera) ... hope that makes sense. That might show better how it was constructed and if the above idea is feasible. Also, can you tell if any of the pears’ prongs are shared with the side round diamonds? If they are, that might negate this option as feasible, as additional prong work would be needed, and after the other changes, you might as well just go with a new soli setting (cost-wise).

 

[SimoneDi]

@the_mother_thing we are sort of suggesting the same thing but not exactly. I am working with an iPhone so bear with me, but I literally think that the jeweler took a simple stock solitaire setting and soldered the entire “crown” with pears and rounds.

I am going to try to illustrate:
In blue, I have marked the original solitaire. You can see the shoulders very well in one of the photos.
In red - the added metal and diamonds.

Pretty primitive work, if you ask me. OP, I apologise for my harsh comments. Overall, the ring is still beautiful. If I were you, I’d personally send it to DK, he has done some repair work for me in the past and I was very pleased. I’d also have him add a shank to the crown piece and call it a day, at least for now.

 

[the_mother_thing]

@SimoneDi I think we are on the same page; I couldn’t tell if the sides & pears were ‘add-ons’ to an existing soli setting, if it was hand-forged/cast that way, etc. I agree that - if they can be removed/metal refinished - DK would be the best man for the job and budget.

 

[Weddingbeebeebee]

@Weddingbeebeebee I agree with others who suggested resetting the center diamond into a simple solitaire; that’s the easiest thing to do.

If you don’t want a new setting - or if that option is cost-prohibitive right now (understandable since you have a wedding to pay for and all!) - it *may* be possible and possibly less expensive to have a good/competent bench remove the portion of the ring with the pears, and possibly convert that to a pendant for now (if anything, at this point in time). I think that’s what @SimoneDi is suggesting above as well. Then, they might be able to possibly refinish the portion of the ring where the pears were removed and polish it for you to the point it’s less/not noticeable. Without the pears, you already appear to have a three-stone ring, so it’s not a huge change from the current setting, should just be labor, and may be the least money out of pocket. For that, I would NOT rely on just any jeweler/bench to do the work; either go back to whomever made it for you, or contact David Klass (would totally trust his opinion on this).

Can you post another picture - as ‘level’ as possible - with the pears facing up? Basically this view, but rotate the ring 90-degrees counter clockwise, and take the picture parallel with the ring (like you’re trying to look underneath the pears with the camera) ... hope that makes sense. That might show better how it was constructed and if the above idea is feasible. Also, can you tell if any of the pears’ prongs are shared with the side round diamonds? If they are, that might negate this option as feasible, as additional prong work would be needed, and after the other changes, you might as well just go with a new soli setting (cost-wise).

Thanks for your reply. I'm really loving everyone's responses!

Here are some more photos of the ring. Hopefully you'll get a better sense of how the ring was constructed. Please let me know if you think they'll be able to easily take off the pears/smaller side stones (or please let me know if you need more photos).

 

[Weddingbeebeebee]

@SimoneDi I think we are on the same page; I couldn’t tell if the sides & pears were ‘add-ons’ to an existing soli setting, if it was hand-forged/cast that way, etc. I agree that - if they can be removed/metal refinished - DK would be the best man for the job and budget.

I'm hoping that you and @SimoneDi will be able to get a better idea of whether or not you think the sides and pears are 'add-on' based on the most recent photos I posted. Please see my reply above. Please also let me know if you need any other photos.

Thank you! I really appreciate your help

 

[the_mother_thing]

I'm hoping that you and @SimoneDi will be able to get a better idea of whether or not you think the sides and pears are 'add-on' based on the most recent photos I posted. Please see my reply above. Please also let me know if you need any other photos.

Thank you! I really appreciate your help

I can’t speak for SimoneDi, but I am not a jeweler; and really, only a qualified bench-person who is looking at the ring in-hand/in-person can tell you for certain what is/is not possible. Another factor to know/consider is: just because something could be done ... doesn’t mean it should and/or that you’ll actually like the outcome.

That said, anything is possible; but it’s still hard to tell if it could be done properly/nicely from the pics because I can’t clearly tell how those pears are connected to the main ring. But I don’t think I would attempt it, and would instead recommend just getting a new setting. It almost looks like the one side of the center diamond has a sort of solid ‘wall’ or half-cup on that side, where the metal holding the pears is soldered. If that’s the case, then I think it’d leave your ring looking a bit odd to just remove them unless you also replaced the head holding the center diamond. And by the time you do all of that, you might as well just get a new simple solitaire setting because modifying the current setting, you’re more likely to end up with something that doesn’t have as streamlined, cohesive look, and instead, looks more ‘pieced together’ if that makes sense. Also, the labor to do all of that really well so it does look nice is likely to cost you as much - possibly more - as a simple, new solitaire setting.

TLDR: I would get a new soli setting, and wouldn’t modify the current setting.

 

[luv2sparkle]

I agree with the idea of just getting a new setting. Solitaires are the most reasonable of all settings. Simple and classic. I love the idea of adding two of the pears as side stones, as that is my favorite three stone look. I also think incorporating the pairs into a band as a wedding ring would be a wonderful idea. Even though the ring is not your favorite look, the whole thing does have sentimental value. I have found that the sentimentality of a ring increases the longer I have it. Keep the stones and make them into something you do love to remember all the effort and love your guy put into this for you. Congratulations! I hope you end up with a ring that gives you joy.