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help me decide on a e ring!!

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katherinegabel

Rough_Rock
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Feb 22, 2009
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so, my fiancee and I have been looking for an engagement ring for almost 2 months now. I know I want an unheated Ceylon sapphire, and a halo setting in white gold. I basically have 2 different options right now that I''m trying to decide between. Both center stones are very similar in cut clarity and color. one is a 3 ct medium blue sapphire in a lower set pave halo setting with pave around half of the band. the other is a 3.95 ct sapphire with a halo made up of larger (but still small) diamonds around the halo and pave around the band. It is also white gold, and is set a little higher. Both of them are in our budget, and since it is my engagement ring, I really don''t mind spending a little more to get the bigger ring if that''s what I decide I want. I am going to be wearing the ring with one small thin white gold band (for sentimental reasons) and a thin eternity band. When I''m at work or school I''ll probably just wear the plain gold band. My main reason for debate is that I have relatively small hands and wear a ring size of 4-4.5. I''m just worried that the larger ring might look gaudy or be too large to be comfortable in the long term. anyone have an opinion? do you think 4 cts is too big for someone with smaller hands, with the halo? or do you think it''ll be fine, and make more of a statement?
 

chrono

Super_Ideal_Rock
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It all depends on how comfortable you feel wearing it and to a certain extent, your social circle. Be proud of your e-ring (which I''m sure you are) and who cares what others think.
Is there a way you can try on both rings to see how they look on your finger?
 

katherinegabel

Rough_Rock
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Feb 22, 2009
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Unfortunately not. They are both going to be custom made, so I can''t really get to try them on beforehand! They didn''t even have the stones in stock at the jewelers and had to order them in.
 

chrono

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Does the jeweller have anything that might be similar in design and size for you to try on to get a feel of how large and comfortable it is? It doesn't have to be sapphires (diamond, other gemstones are fine).
 

katherinegabel

Rough_Rock
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I tried on a 3 ct diamond, because the jeweler told me that sapphires are heavier than diamonds and the cuts are deeper and so they end up looking a bit smaller. Has anyone else heard of this?
 

chrono

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Date: 2/22/2009 10:18:38 PM
Author: katherinegabel
I tried on a 3 ct diamond, because the jeweler told me that sapphires are heavier than diamonds and the cuts are deeper and so they end up looking a bit smaller. Has anyone else heard of this?
Your jeweller is correct. Sapphires are denser and coloured gemstones are usually cut deeper than diamonds, so a 3 ct diamond would be about right.
 

ma re

Ideal_Rock
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Aug 10, 2008
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How about trying out some fakes (costume/fashion jewellery) with stones of similar size? That might help you get the feeling how it wears even during longer periods of time - cause you''ll try it on for just a few minutes at jeweller''s. A silver ring with CZ would also do.

And wether it''s too big depends totally on your personality and taste. If you like to make a statement and think you can "pull it off", there''s no reason not to get a large stone. Most people wouldn''t feel comfortable with a larger stone, but most people don''t have what it takes (in the style and confidence departments) to wear such things. As you don''t intend to wear your stone 24/7, it also doesen''t matter how big it is.

Shape also plays a role of how big the stone will be (and look) cause some shapes look larger than they really are and some actually are larger than others of the same weight. So a round one wouldn''t look as large as an oval one of the same weight. Princess cuts, cushions and asschers are also smaller than most shapes (especially pears, marquises and trillions), but neither of those are rules when talking about colored stones (cause, unlike diamonds, their cuts can vary a lot).

And a shape of your finger also impacts how the ring will look. Is it long and slim, short and wide, long and wide, short and slim... If your finger is not a large size, it doesen''t mean it''s not wide (sometimes happens with shorter fingers), and that also influences how the ring will look. Not to mention that, if your fingers are short, you also don''t have a lot of horiznotal space, which is important for "north/south" set elongated stones.
 

brendaman

Shiny_Rock
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Nov 7, 2008
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We''re on the FIFTH month and have gone through so much drama in finding a sapphire e-ring which I won''t get into here (but you can share in the drama if you do a search for my name). Anyway, on the bright side, I do have some lessons learned I can share with you.

1. Get measurement of sapphire. Others have already told you about the weight of the sapphire not being equal to a diamond, so you should get the measurement of the sapphire (traditionally, it''s in mm). Once you have this, you can then go to other stores to try on comparable size and style rings (that''s if your jeweler does not have them). Of course, this means you would need to go to a jeweler with caliphers or a jeweler with able to give you details of their rings (some easily accessible stores, i.e., mall stores, are not prepared to do this). It doesn''t matter whether the ring has diamonds or another gemstone. You''re looking to get a perspective whether you like a certain size/style on your hands. Unless you do this, it is really difficult to judge whether it would be too big for you.

You didn''t specify the shape of the sapphire you''re considering (or I didn''t catch it in the above posts). We''ve been looking at ovals, but have also looked at some cushion shapes in your carat weight. I have small hands with relatively short fingers and have tried on rings with sapphires of over 3 to 5 carats (and some below 3). Because this will be my e-ring, my thought is to go with a more substantial size of over 3 cts., to be surrounded by a halo of diamonds. The stones we were looking at ranged from over 7mm to 8mm. Once in a while, we''d run into a ring with a larger/longer sapphire of over 5 carats which measures over 9mm, but it usually was NOT surrounded by diamonds (it would have half-moon diamonds on either side).

2. You can go big within a certain limit. I will say, with my finger size (my left ring finger is just under 3 inches from the base to the tip), the most I can get away with is under 5.5 cts. Anything more than that is too much for what I call my li''l pudgy fingers.

3. Stacking band with e-ring requires more finger length. If you plan to wear a wedding band with your e-ring, you need to have more finger length, or else the stone has to be smaller. I don''t plan to wear a wedding band with my e-ring as I don''t really have the finger length. I''m sure you''ve been told there must be some skin still showing between your knuckle and the ring(s). Personally, I believe in this or else it would look funny like the picture on the far right, which I''ve included below.

4. Stacking rings may scratch/abrade rings against one another. If you plan on wearing an eternity ring with your e-ring, the e-ring may scratch the diamonds of the eternity ring, if you plan to have the eternity ring sit underneath your e-ring, unless the e-ring is high enough not to touch the eternity ring. If the eternity ring or even a plain wedding band is shaped to curve around your e-ring, then this would solve any scratching/abrading issue between the wedding band and e-ring. If you find a ring in a store similar to size and style of an e-ring, you should try that on with a thin wedding band and thin eternity band to see how that would look on your finger. Even if the store doesn''t have "thin" bands, trying on the combination gives you an indication of what it would look like. BTW, when you say thin, do you mean less than 2mm band?

I''ve attached pics of rings I''ve tried on to give you an indication. I''m sorry I don''t have exact measurements down to the tenths, but it does give you some indication just to know if something is 7 or 8mm. Here are some stats of the rings:

SAPPHIRE RING ON LEFT PIC: Cushion shaped 3.01 cts. Sapphire is over 7mm in length (top to bottom).

SAPPHIRE RING IN MIDDLE PIC: Sapphire over 5 cts.; over 9mm in length.

SAPPHIRE RING ON RIGHT PIC: Sapphire is 3.15 cts. Yellow diamond ring is over 2 cts. Both center stones are over 8mm in length.

Ring Samp for PSer.jpg
 

Elmorton

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Jul 5, 2007
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3,998
Another thing to consider is the height of the setting/depth of the stone. A stone looks larger (and IMHO is a little more difficult to wear) when it's sitting higher in the setting. I'm helping my mom with a ring project right now and my DH and I have been calling it the "ring pop" because when laying the hand, the stone looks like a beautiful size for a ring, but to set it, it's so deep that it has to sit up pretty high off the finger and thus looks enormous. It's a beautiful ring, but it's definitely a statement piece and not something I think she'll wear every day.

ETA: I suppose I should be a little clearer in my opinion - if you already plan to have an "everyday" set of a plain band for times when wearing a larger ring would be cumbersome, then I'd just choose the stone/setting you love more regardless of size :)
 

ma re

Ideal_Rock
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Aug 10, 2008
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2,698
Brendaman, looks like you're really learning along the way (I remember your first post)


P. S. It's just my opinion, but I really like the look of the one with side stones on your hands, cause your fingers are kind of short and wide. Creates a wonderful balance.
 

katherinegabel

Rough_Rock
Joined
Feb 22, 2009
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15
I plan to wear my eternity band first, then my plain wedding band (it''s already a little scratched up) the my ering. (or is it the other way around? I''m not sure whether you''re supposed to wear your wedding band on top of your e ring or vice versa!) so the diamonds in the band don''t get scratched. my wedding band is 2mm. that''s the thickest i''d want my eternity band to be, and my ering band (for the smaller ring) would be 2.5mm or (for the larger band) 3.5mm. I think i have longish fingers proportionally.
 

brendaman

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 7, 2008
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180
Date: 2/23/2009 12:49:28 PM
Author: katherinegabel
I plan to wear my eternity band first, then my plain wedding band (it''s already a little scratched up) the my ering. (or is it the other way around? I''m not sure whether you''re supposed to wear your wedding band on top of your e ring or vice versa!) so the diamonds in the band don''t get scratched. my wedding band is 2mm. that''s the thickest i''d want my eternity band to be, and my ering band (for the smaller ring) would be 2.5mm or (for the larger band) 3.5mm. I think i have longish fingers proportionally.
I think it doesn''t matter as I''ve seen rings worn both ways. Personally, I would wear the band first and then the e-ring, if I were to wear both (still unsure).

Have you made a decision yet? I''m sure everyone here would love to see pics!
 

katherinegabel

Rough_Rock
Joined
Feb 22, 2009
Messages
15
I have! I got a little too apprehensive paying so much for a ring I couldn''t see beforehand, so my fiancee (lol, he''s kindof actually already my husband, but no one knows that yet!! shhhh!!) and I took a trip over the boarder (we live in Vancouver) and went to check out some rings in Washington and Seattle. We found a WAY better selection over there, as well as my perfect ring! It''s getting sized right now and I should have everything done in the next 2 weeks thank you all for all your help! And brendaman, I hope your search is going well too! I can''t wait to see your ring!
 

brendaman

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Nov 7, 2008
Messages
180
CONGRATULATIONS!! (for the engagement and the wedding??) Can''t wait to see the ring!

Our search for my e-ring continues, and believe me it''s kind of weird going to these bridal showcases w/out the e-ring (we''re thinking of Feb/Mar 2010 for the wedding date). I feel self conscious that people are looking at my e-ring finger and I only have this li''l sapphire ring (about a carat) he bought me several years ago (sort of as a promise ring). I do wear it on my middle finger, but I have been asked if it''s the e-ring. I feel kind of obnoxious saying, "oh no, I want something bigger", especially in this economy.
 
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