Hello Everyone! I''m new

[puppies]

An online friend referred me to this site since she lurks around here
I''ve read like the previous 40 pages of happy stories and sad posts, vents and all others in between and I have to say wow! this is such a very friendly community, giving great support and everything.

I''d like to introduce myself, I''m Alice, 23 y.o. I have a boyfriend of 5 years, met him in college and I''m having the best time with him. Though we probably will not get married (I don''t think he wants to! Well, not with me that''s for sure

) but I''m happy with him and I want to make it last as much as I can.

I hope to be part of this community, and just make some friends. I may not be able to relate with how being engaged to be married feels, but I would just like to applaud and cheer from the sidelines, and give support too!

See you.

 

[FrekeChild]

Welcome to PS!!!! And you never know about your BF...

 

[puppies]

Thank you Freke!
But no, he''s really not going to marry me at least that much is clear

I hope to talk to you soon.

 

[Lauren8211]

Hi, puppies!

Welcome to PS! Even if you''re not on the list, the LIW board is a great place for support for whatever you need.

It''s nice to have you. Since you''re not looking at rings, can we at least get some photos of your puppies??

 

[dragonfly411]

Welcome aboard puppies! Even if you aren''t going to marry, enjoy him for now The right one will come along eventually. Tell us more about YOU

 

[gryffindor]

Welcome!

 

[Still_Waiting]

Welcome!

I''ve found tons of support here and I''m sure you will too!

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 3/11/2009 3:39:52 AM
Author: puppies
But no, he''s really not going to marry me at least that much is clear

Welcome puppies!!!

Why do you say this? How are you so sure?

 

[ladypirate]

Welcome, puppies! Sorry to hear that about your bf, but it sounds like you're enjoying where you're at right now, which is wonderful! Glad to have you around PS.

ETA: and with a screenname like that, we definitely need some puppy pictures!

 

[Cupcake*Muffin]

Hi and welcome!

!

 

[sammyj]

Welcome to PS, puppies!

I''d love to see some puppy pics!

Also, if you care to share, why are you so certain that your BF doesn''t want to marry you? You don''t have to answer if you don''t want to...but I''m perplexed (and a little nosey too)..

 

[Iowa Lizzy]

Date: 3/11/2009 12:38:17 PM
Author: sammyj
Welcome to PS, puppies!

I''d love to see some puppy pics!


Also, if you care to share, why are you so certain that your BF doesn''t want to marry you? You don''t have to answer if you don''t want to...but I''m perplexed (and a little nosey too)..

Ditto! And Welcome!

 

[princessplease]

Welcome!
I'm curious like Sammyj and IowaLizzy...please share if you want to!

 

[gwendolyn]

We''re glad to have you here, m''dear, but I''m sorry to hear that you are so sure your boyfriend doesn''t want to marry you. You know, if you want to talk about it, we''re here for you.

 

[Dreamgirl]

Date: 3/11/2009 2:20:37 PM
Author: gwendolyn
We''re glad to have you here, m''dear, but I''m sorry to hear that you are so sure your boyfriend doesn''t want to marry you. You know, if you want to talk about it, we''re here for you.

Yes indeed

 

[misskitty]

Welcome! And please do post puppy pics!

 

[somegirl932]

Another vote for more puppy pics!

And welcome!

It''s actually really refreshing to meet someone so happy with what they have!

 

[tlh]

Welcome aboard!

A lot of people think the college SO is their soul mate. I always thought I''d meet my future hubby in school... I didn''t. It''s cool. I made a lot of friends... and had some awesome time between the sheets with a few fellas in between college sweetie and my nowDH. BOY WAS THAT FUN.

So you say you are having fun now. As long as it is fun, and you don''t mind just passing the time... rock on. I dated this one guy.. .and he was PHENOM between the sheets. He soooo sucked out of em. Maybe why I was drinking most of the time we''d actually hang out?? I don''t know... but yup.. those were some fun times. Didn''t mind that waste of time AT ALL!

So... just be optimistic, and enjoy life.. the right one comes along sooner or later, and you don''t have to kiss only toads along the way! Jesters, Pages, and Poets may not be a Prince.. but they can be a lot of fun!

Hope to hear more from you soon!

 

[Bia]

Welcome puppies!

 

[PrincessLily2009]

Welcome chica! I think I can relate to your situation. BF and I were supposed to get engaged in 2009, but he backed out, and after many long, painful discussions, I''ve pretty much abandoned all hope. I''m not quite ready to leave the relationship-I really enjoy his company, and we all know that there are benefits to being in a relationship whether it results in marriage or not. Weirdly enough, I''m happy. But, like you, I''m young, so I have plenty of time before I really feel an intense need to settle down.

 

[SailorsSweet<3]

welcome puppies!! you''ll find some good listeners here!

 

[puppies]

Just as I''d thought, all of you are incredibly welcoming. I feel fantastic having been referred to this forum
Oh wow, I''m so going to bombard you all with dog/puppy pics as soon as I resize them! I got 1 new puppy who is soo beyond adorable so I made a lot of desktop size pics of her!

Thank you for letting me share this: well I know my boyfriend is the last person to marry me because I can see him literally CRINGING at the mention AND thought of marriage. We have never brought up the subject, and even when it''s forced to us by other people (asking if we''re engaged or when our wedding''s gonna be) it''s met with super duper awkward answers from me, and grave silence from him.

He''s finishing his 2nd Bachelor''s Degree (We both majored in Communications and Media, and now he''s pursuing Nursing while I''m working as an entry-level advertiser) and he''s moving permanently to another country after his degree. And no, he doesn''t plan to take me there. He has mentioned to me that the only future he sees is getting a pad and letting his buddies move in with him. Gah

I love him to death, and here I am. I still want to be with him even our relationship will end in a couple of years. It''s ok, I never really expect anything now and it''s good that I''m optimistic that even after he leaves me, I''m sure to be stronger and I will move on (hopefully to a guy who will take me and our relationship seriously hahah) and have a great career and healthy love life.

 

[Bia]

Date: 3/11/2009 10:09:22 PM
Author: puppies

Thank you for letting me share this: well I know my boyfriend is the last person to marry me because I can see him literally CRINGING at the mention AND thought of marriage. We have never brought up the subject, and even when it's forced to us by other people (asking if we're engaged or when our wedding's gonna be) it's met with super duper awkward answers from me, and grave silence from him.

He's finishing his 2nd Bachelor's Degree (We both majored in Communications and Media, and now he's pursuing Nursing while I'm working as an entry-level advertiser) and he's moving permanently to another country after his degree. And no, he doesn't plan to take me there. He has mentioned to me that the only future he sees is getting a pad and letting his buddies move in with him. Gah

I love him to death, and here I am. I still want to be with him even our relationship will end in a couple of years. It's ok, I never really expect anything now and it's good that I'm optimistic that even after he leaves me, I'm sure to be stronger and I will move on (hopefully to a guy who will take me and our relationship seriously hahah) and have a great career and healthy love life.

Ehhhh...

puppies, please don't take this the wrong way, but your last post made me so sad. When you said, 'he's moving to another country, and no, he doesn't plan to take me there...' I thought that your guy sounds like a not-so-nice BF (NICELY PUT). I know there are always two sides, and I'm sure you have your reasons for staying with someone who has been clear about not wanting a future with you, but...

Why are you okay with that again?

not judging, just wondering.

 

[puppies]

Date: 3/11/2009 10:22:45 PM
Author: Bia
Ehhhh...

puppies, please don''t take this the wrong way, but your last post made me so sad. When you said, ''he''s moving to another country, and no, he doesn''t plan to take me there...'' I thought that your guy sounds like a not-so-nice BF (NICELY PUT). I know there are always two sides, and I''m sure you have your reasons for staying with someone who has been clear about not wanting a future with you, but...

Why are you okay with that again?

not judging, just wondering.

Oh so sorry! My post seems too miserable

but I don''t feel that way though. I may just be resigned to this situation, like the sadness doesn''t make me cry anymore but I just heave a big sigh and an "oh well" about it. From being with him for 5 years, I knew for the last 1.5 years that he''s going away and that it wasn''t really going to be anything serious.

It''s really ok for me. I''ve had my share of downs and feeling pathetic because I thought I wasn''t worth it. But I''ve shaken myself off that thought. I''m a generally happy, fun person and I don''t like being sad over things I have no control over.

I''m sure there''s bound to be someone else in my future who will not be adverse and cringe and the though spending the rest of his life with me.

 

[sammyj]

Date: 3/11/2009 10:31:44 PM
Author: puppies

Date: 3/11/2009 10:22:45 PM
Author: Bia
Ehhhh...

puppies, please don''t take this the wrong way, but your last post made me so sad. When you said, ''he''s moving to another country, and no, he doesn''t plan to take me there...'' I thought that your guy sounds like a not-so-nice BF (NICELY PUT). I know there are always two sides, and I''m sure you have your reasons for staying with someone who has been clear about not wanting a future with you, but...

Why are you okay with that again?

not judging, just wondering.

Oh so sorry! My post seems too miserable

but I don''t feel that way though. I may just be resigned to this situation, like the sadness doesn''t make me cry anymore but I just heave a big sigh and an ''oh well'' about it. From being with him for 5 years, I knew for the last 1.5 years that he''s going away and that it wasn''t really going to be anything serious.

It''s really ok for me. I''ve had my share of downs and feeling pathetic because I thought I wasn''t worth it. But I''ve shaken myself off that thought. I''m a generally happy, fun person and I don''t like being sad over things I have no control over.

I''m sure there''s bound to be someone else in my future who will not be adverse and cringe and the though spending the rest of his life with me.

puppies, your post made me sad too. I just want to ask one question and please let me know if I''m overstepping my bounds. It''s great that you''ve come to terms with your situation, but don''t you want to go and find that one person who wants to spend the rest of his life with you NOW and not in a couple of years? Same as Bia, I''m not judging, I''m just wanting to jump through my screen and give you a hug.

 

[puppies]

No bounds stepped at all!

Gosh yeah I would love that. Well, actually when my bf talked to me about his future plans going away, working abroad with his close buddies and travel the world whatnot (which was utterly painful to hear if you can imagine) I asked him to let me go. He knows it's not fair that I should be with a guy who has no space for me in his future. I cried that night so bad in his car but he pleaded if I would just stick it out with him, because he just can't do without me and said something about how it would mess his life and plans if I wasn't there. He asked me to stay just until he goes away. I was just too in love with him to say NO.

Plz kill my bf! He's evil! LOL!

I'm sure you're all wondering why I'm wandering around here, in the middle of ladies with rocks so brilliant its blinding. I have to come clean and say that I currently this weird craving for getting engaged. It gives me so much happiness to see other women in love and engaged to the love of their lives.

Weird, I know.

 

[Lauren8211]

This makes me sad. I hate to bombard you with tons of advice and such on your first day here, but that post hurt my heart.

Please don't let him decide your life. You don't need to be "let go." You need to walk away.

I'm not telling you when, or where, or how... but please work to be strong enough to walk away from something that hurts you.

((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))

I've been where you are. I know how you feel. I wish I would've walked away sooner.

 

[Bia]

Date: 3/11/2009 11:03:25 PM
Author: puppies

Date: 3/11/2009 10:41:47 PM

Author: sammyj

Date: 3/11/2009 10:31:44 PM


puppies, your post made me sad too. I just want to ask one question and please let me know if I'm overstepping my bounds. It's great that you've come to terms with your situation, but don't you want to go and find that one person who wants to spend the rest of his life with you NOW and not in a couple of years? Same as Bia, I'm not judging, I'm just wanting to jump through my screen and give you a hug.

No bounds stepped at all!

Gosh yeah I would love that. Well, actually when my bf talked to me about his future plans going away, working abroad with his close buddies and travel the world whatnot (which was utterly painful to hear if you can imagine) I asked him to let me go. He knows it's not fair that I should be with a guy who has no space for me in his future. I cried that night so bad in his car but he pleaded if I would just stick it out with him, because he just can't do without me and said something about how it would mess his life and plans if I wasn't there. He asked me to stay just until he goes away. I was just too in love with him to say NO.


Plz kill my bf! He's evil! LOL!

I'm sure you're all wondering why I'm wandering around here, in the middle of ladies with rocks so brilliant its blinding. I have to come clean and say that I currently this weird craving for getting engaged. It gives me so much happiness to see other women in love and engaged to the love of their lives.


Weird, I know.

There are so many things I want to highlight, but I can't with this blasted computer!

puppies, please stop. You're breaking my heart now. For me (and for probably a lot of people--but Im talking about me) any man--no matter how hot, rich, good in bed, funny, smart, etc.--that flat out told he wanted me around as to not 'mess up his plans,' AND then HAD THE AUDACITY TO SAY he didn't even plan to keep me around afterward(!), would be ROADKILL.

I'm mad for you and I don't even know you. How terrible...

 

[puppies]

Date: 3/11/2009 11:13:27 PM
Author: Bia


There are so many things I want to highlight, but I can''t with this blasted computer!


puppies, please stop. You''re breaking my heart now. For me (and for probably a lot of people--but Im talking about me) any man--no matter how hot, rich, good in bed, funny, smart, etc.--that flat out told he wanted me around as to not ''mess up his plans,'' AND then HAD THE AUDACITY TO SAY he didn''t even plan to keep me around afterward(!), would be ROADKILL.


I''m mad for you and I don''t even know you. How terrible...

Oh god! It''s so terrible, I know!

I shouldn''t have said yes!
Now when I think about it... it sucks! My predicament sucks! I hate him for asking me to stay, and I very much want to scold myself for saying yes.

But I really, really love him. I can''t even stand not seeing him and hearing from him everyday. Yeah, you''re right but I''m already in this mess. But I think it''s way out of my control already?

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 3/11/2009 11:19:38 PM
Author: puppies

Date: 3/11/2009 11:13:27 PM

Author: Bia



There are so many things I want to highlight, but I can''t with this blasted computer!



puppies, please stop. You''re breaking my heart now. For me (and for probably a lot of people--but Im talking about me) any man--no matter how hot, rich, good in bed, funny, smart, etc.--that flat out told he wanted me around as to not ''mess up his plans,'' AND then HAD THE AUDACITY TO SAY he didn''t even plan to keep me around afterward(!), would be ROADKILL.



I''m mad for you and I don''t even know you. How terrible...

Oh god! It''s so terrible, I know!

I shouldn''t have said yes!

Now when I think about it... it sucks! My predicament sucks! I hate him for asking me to stay, and I very much want to scold myself for saying yes.


But I really, really love him. I can''t even stand not seeing him and hearing from him everyday. Yeah, you''re right but I''m already in this mess. But I think it''s way out of my control already?

Nothing is EVER out of your control when it comes to relationships. EVER

Seriously, I have been there. I know how you feel, and it''s NOT love. You may love him, but that obsessive feeling of not being able to leave when he''s hurting you... that''s not love.

At the risk of sounding seriously cheesy, you can do this.