Have you been to a tacky wedding ??

[suchende]

Tacky is such a judgmental word. I've heard it used so many times and it always makes me wince.

It doesn't make me wince, exactly, but I am sort of bemused by the judgmental attitudes that weddings provoke. I can't think of any other rite of passage or event that draws so much criticism, and for which the etiquette is subjected to so much consideration. Odd.

 

[VRBeauty]

One of the more memorable weddings I've attended was held in San Francisco's Chinatown. The bride and groom had both been raised in the States, but were the children of Chinese imigrants, so the wedding ceremony and reception were a combination of the two traditions. The ceremony was largely a traditional Western ceremony and the bride wore a western-style white dress. The reception showed more of the Chinese influence - we were all very well fed and watered ( ), and the honored guests were all introduced to the rest of the attendees, with an emphasis on familial relationships and accomplishments.

My favorite part though was the gift-giving. I had brought a wrapped gift as was my tradition. Many of the oriental guests brought gifts of gold jewelry for the bride. Since she could only wear so many watches, bracelets, etc, most of the jewelry was pinned to the traditional fitted red gown she wore for the reception.

Now I suppose there are those who would say that pinning gold jewelry to a bride's dress is a tacky, ostentatious show of wealth... I mean, why not just write out a large check and pin that to the dress, since it accomplishes much the same thing? I, however, thought it a rather charming tradition!

 

[Autumnovember]

Tacky is such a judgmental word. I've heard it used so many times and it always makes me wince.

It doesn't make me wince, exactly, but I am sort of bemused by the judgmental attitudes that weddings provoke. I can't think of any other rite of passage or event that draws so much criticism, and for which the etiquette is subjected to so much consideration. Odd.

So true.


I've seen the most non judgmental people become a little bit judgmental when they're at weddings.

 

[steph72276]

The worst was a co-worker of my husband. Her daughter was getting married, and when I asked my husband (boyfriend at the time) to inquire about a registry so I could get a gift, his co-worker called me to tell that I should give cash as a gift, not a present. She told me it was the "Italian way"...which is ironic, because I'm Italian...and I've never heard of such a thing. I had never met her before, never spoken to her, didn't know her from anyone. I was so offended and put off, but I ended up giving money.

It's certainly not as bad as some of these horror stories.

Hmmm, this doesn't seem that odd to me. For the weddings I have been to we always use the bridal registry for the bridal shower and then give money at the actual wedding. I have never been to a wedding that isnt like that. I didnt realise that it is done any other way.

If I give a gift for a wedding, it's usually a higher end present- something I wouldn't buy for a shower. At my wedding, I received presents. Actually I walked away with a full service of crystal and I'm really grateful for that. I never personally felt like money was more appropriate. When you give a gift at a wedding, money or otherwise, you're helping to set a couple up for their lives together. I personally think giving a really indulgent present that they'd never buy for themselves is just as thoughtful.

Its always interesting to hear how other people do things. I received my crystal too but I got it at my shower. The rule of thumb I have always used for wedding present giving was to give enough to cover you and your date's plate and then add atleast another hundred per person (or more if its family). We usually give between $500-$1000 and then a shower gift (if I am invited to the shower). And the showers that I have been to, the brides have no problem putting higher end presents on the registry-and they get them. It certainly can add up!

Also, I am not Italian. It's just how its done where I live (atleast in my area). I dont think I have ever seen anyone bring anything other than a card to the wedding. And then the couple walks around collecting the cards in a basket (or something creative) during the reception.

It shows how ignorant I am when it comes to weddings bc I honestly thought that everyone did it this way

Wow, really Ibbaber? And how exactly does one go about adding up the cost of each person's plate. Do you call the reception location and ask, or does the bride send out a memo? I actually loved receiving actual gifts. We didn't live together before getting married, so we needed and wanted things for our new house. We actually used most of the money we received to complete our registry items.

 

[anchor31]

Yes. SIL and her then-FI wanted the huge party wedding, and invited 300 guests (about 250 attended), but are both full-time college students and couldn't afford it. The parents helped, but couldn't cover the whole bill. So... they had the guests pay for it. We literally had to pay the dinner fee upfront to attend. Turns out the joke was on them... They didn't calculate the taxes when they charges their guests and had to pay that from their own pockets. From my calculations, they had to dish out about 3k. Bubye honeymoon...

The wedding itself was just really odd. The ceremony was outside and they didn't have enough chairs for everyone, so people just hung around awkwardly. They didn't hire a photographer, so everyone kept running around taking pictures. The bride and groom obviously didn't discuss wedding attire, because the groom was way over-dressed in a tux with tails and a top hat (no kidding), and SIL wore the flimsiest polyester dress I've ever seen.

There was some more running around taking pictures, and I figured I'd get a drink from the so-called "open bar" (that we paid for, right), but apparently, if I wanted a drink before dinner, I had to pay for it. Are you kidding me? Finally dinner starts, and the food was so bad I barely touched it. They didn't hire a DJ, so the uncle who thinks he's funny (we all have one of those...) was the MC and it was a drag. Then the groom's friends jammed for the whole night and it was hardly entertaining/dancing-friendly.

 

[MonkeyPie]

This thread pretty much guarantees that I won't post about my vow renewal here...I have no doubts that it would be fully viewed as "tacky", whatever the heck that means.

C'mon. Live dangerously. Let us critique the renewal.

Seriously, I expect photos when the time comes. We want to peek at your special day.

Lol, what if I have a THEME wedding? Like...knights and dragons, or goth vampires in red and black?

Omg, that would be hilarious, rofl. I do plan on a dress that is in a fun color, but DH keeps asking if he can wear one of those crazy, ruffly pirate shirts...ummm...

 

[Haven]

Tacky is such a judgmental word. I've heard it used so many times and it always makes me wince.

It doesn't make me wince, exactly, but I am sort of bemused by the judgmental attitudes that weddings provoke. I can't think of any other rite of passage or event that draws so much criticism, and for which the etiquette is subjected to so much consideration. Odd.

So true.
I've seen the most non judgmental people become a little bit judgmental when they're at weddings.

I agree that tacky is a judgmental word, but I also find threads like this really interesting because tacky is not only judgmental, it's relative. Don't you think it's even a little bit interesting to learn *why* people find certain things tacky? Especially the things you don't find tacky at all? I do.

I also think there's a big difference between responding honestly to a thread titled "Have you been to a tacky wedding ??" and openly balking at things you find tacky when you are *at* a wedding IRL. That kind of behavior is tacky, in my opinion.

And to be honest, when I'm at the wedding of people I care about I don't even notice any of the things that I personally find to be tacky. It's hard to be judgmental when you're enjoying the moment.

 

[Haven]

This thread pretty much guarantees that I won't post about my vow renewal here...I have no doubts that it would be fully viewed as "tacky", whatever the heck that means.

C'mon. Live dangerously. Let us critique the renewal.

Seriously, I expect photos when the time comes. We want to peek at your special day.

Lol, what if I have a THEME wedding? Like...knights and dragons, or goth vampires in red and black?

Omg, that would be hilarious, rofl. I do plan on a dress that is in a fun color, but DH keeps asking if he can wear one of those crazy, ruffly pirate shirts...ummm...

DO IT! DO EEEEEEEET!

We all love you too much to think anything you do is tacky anyway, MP. We just want to see those pictures!

As for theme weddings--I have never been to one but I really hope to someday. That thread in BWW about the steampunk wedding was amazing. I would also love to go to a renaissance-themed wedding just to see the amazing clothing.

I saw T. A. Barron at a reading conference this year and he shared pictures from his daughter's wedding, I believe. It was on Halloween and everyone was dressed up in really goofy outfits. I want to say his daughter was dressed up as Shrek's wife. Awesome. I want to go to one of those weddings--you KNOW they had a blast.

 

[lbbaber]

The worst was a co-worker of my husband. Her daughter was getting married, and when I asked my husband (boyfriend at the time) to inquire about a registry so I could get a gift, his co-worker called me to tell that I should give cash as a gift, not a present. She told me it was the "Italian way"...which is ironic, because I'm Italian...and I've never heard of such a thing. I had never met her before, never spoken to her, didn't know her from anyone. I was so offended and put off, but I ended up giving money.

It's certainly not as bad as some of these horror stories.

Hmmm, this doesn't seem that odd to me. For the weddings I have been to we always use the bridal registry for the bridal shower and then give money at the actual wedding. I have never been to a wedding that isnt like that. I didnt realise that it is done any other way.

If I give a gift for a wedding, it's usually a higher end present- something I wouldn't buy for a shower. At my wedding, I received presents. Actually I walked away with a full service of crystal and I'm really grateful for that. I never personally felt like money was more appropriate. When you give a gift at a wedding, money or otherwise, you're helping to set a couple up for their lives together. I personally think giving a really indulgent present that they'd never buy for themselves is just as thoughtful.

Its always interesting to hear how other people do things. I received my crystal too but I got it at my shower. The rule of thumb I have always used for wedding present giving was to give enough to cover you and your date's plate and then add atleast another hundred per person (or more if its family). We usually give between $500-$1000 and then a shower gift (if I am invited to the shower). And the showers that I have been to, the brides have no problem putting higher end presents on the registry-and they get them. It certainly can add up!

Also, I am not Italian. It's just how its done where I live (atleast in my area). I dont think I have ever seen anyone bring anything other than a card to the wedding. And then the couple walks around collecting the cards in a basket (or something creative) during the reception.

It shows how ignorant I am when it comes to weddings bc I honestly thought that everyone did it this way

Wow, really Ibbaber? And how exactly does one go about adding up the cost of each person's plate. Do you call the reception location and ask, or does the bride send out a memo? I actually loved receiving actual gifts. We didn't live together before getting married, so we needed and wanted things for our new house. We actually used most of the money we received to complete our registry items.

Word of mouth usually. Plus you can usually get an idea by the venue used. The last few weddings I went to were about $150/person...so that plus the monetary gift. I have been to some pretty nice weddings. Nothing 'tacky' compared to these stories

I have been married twice (eloped the 2nd time), both of my husbands use the same formula and give about the same amount. Both my husband and my ex are also very generous people and VERY BIG tippers. I could never be with a cheapskate. Guys that dont tip/gift well are the biggest turn off IMO.

 

[kenny]

Like beauty, tacky is in the eye of the beholder.

Once again:
People vary.

There is only one wedding that should go your way, yours.

It is astonishing how useful and applicable this people vary mantra is.
You start to notice its usefulness everywhere.

It's not about lowering my standards.
It's about discovering the peace available when I finally get it through my thick skull that my standards apply only to one person, me.

 

[MonkeyPie]

This thread pretty much guarantees that I won't post about my vow renewal here...I have no doubts that it would be fully viewed as "tacky", whatever the heck that means.

C'mon. Live dangerously. Let us critique the renewal.

Seriously, I expect photos when the time comes. We want to peek at your special day.

Lol, what if I have a THEME wedding? Like...knights and dragons, or goth vampires in red and black?

Omg, that would be hilarious, rofl. I do plan on a dress that is in a fun color, but DH keeps asking if he can wear one of those crazy, ruffly pirate shirts...ummm...

DO IT! DO EEEEEEEET!

We all love you too much to think anything you do is tacky anyway, MP. We just want to see those pictures!

As for theme weddings--I have never been to one but I really hope to someday. That thread in BWW about the steampunk wedding was amazing. I would also love to go to a renaissance-themed wedding just to see the amazing clothing.

I saw T. A. Barron at a reading conference this year and he shared pictures from his daughter's wedding, I believe. It was on Halloween and everyone was dressed up in really goofy outfits. I want to say his daughter was dressed up as Shrek's wife. Awesome. I want to go to one of those weddings--you KNOW they had a blast.

Me too! I have always wanted to go to a wedding that required me to dress in a way I normally wouldn't. When I saw the movie 27 Dresses, all I could think was how awesome some of those absolutely ridiculous dresses looked, and how much fun those kind of weddings would be. I could never have a "serious" wedding - I'd rather have one where my guests just had FUN.

As for my dress...I am wavering between classic in a fun color, or something handmade that looks CRAZY.

 

[nkarma]

The worst was a co-worker of my husband. Her daughter was getting married, and when I asked my husband (boyfriend at the time) to inquire about a registry so I could get a gift, his co-worker called me to tell that I should give cash as a gift, not a present. She told me it was the "Italian way"...which is ironic, because I'm Italian...and I've never heard of such a thing. I had never met her before, never spoken to her, didn't know her from anyone. I was so offended and put off, but I ended up giving money.

It's certainly not as bad as some of these horror stories.

Hmmm, this doesn't seem that odd to me. For the weddings I have been to we always use the bridal registry for the bridal shower and then give money at the actual wedding. I have never been to a wedding that isnt like that. I didnt realise that it is done any other way.

If I give a gift for a wedding, it's usually a higher end present- something I wouldn't buy for a shower. At my wedding, I received presents. Actually I walked away with a full service of crystal and I'm really grateful for that. I never personally felt like money was more appropriate. When you give a gift at a wedding, money or otherwise, you're helping to set a couple up for their lives together. I personally think giving a really indulgent present that they'd never buy for themselves is just as thoughtful.

Its always interesting to hear how other people do things. I received my crystal too but I got it at my shower. The rule of thumb I have always used for wedding present giving was to give enough to cover you and your date's plate and then add atleast another hundred per person (or more if its family). We usually give between $500-$1000 and then a shower gift (if I am invited to the shower). And the showers that I have been to, the brides have no problem putting higher end presents on the registry-and they get them. It certainly can add up!

Also, I am not Italian. It's just how its done where I live (atleast in my area). I dont think I have ever seen anyone bring anything other than a card to the wedding. And then the couple walks around collecting the cards in a basket (or something creative) during the reception.

It shows how ignorant I am when it comes to weddings bc I honestly thought that everyone did it this way

Wow, really Ibbaber? And how exactly does one go about adding up the cost of each person's plate. Do you call the reception location and ask, or does the bride send out a memo? I actually loved receiving actual gifts. We didn't live together before getting married, so we needed and wanted things for our new house. We actually used most of the money we received to complete our registry items.

I am not Ibbaber, but also attend many weddings in a culture that it is the norm to give large cash gifts. Usually by the venue you can guess approximately how much it is per person. Also, one of my friends told me if she doesn't know the venue, she will call them and ask approximately how much weddings are per person there.

 

[rosetta]

yes, i agree a lot of what is tacky is totally subjective.

but could we all agree on SOME things being universally tacky?

my nominations are:

1. Not having enough food or making your guests pay for food

2. glitter and diamante everywhere (i'm not talking anything understated or tasteful)

3. not sending thank you cards/email/phone calls

Would anyone care to disagree?

 

[MonkeyPie]

yes, i agree a lot of what is tacky is totally subjective.

but could we all agree on SOME things being universally tacky?

my nominations are:

1. Not having enough food or making your guests pay for food

2. glitter and diamante everywhere (i'm not talking anything understated or tasteful)

3. not sending thank you cards/email/phone calls

Would anyone care to disagree?

Nope, I agree on all of those. I don't know if tacky is the word I would use, but all three of those things are either rude/silly.

 

[nkarma]

This thread pretty much guarantees that I won't post about my vow renewal here...I have no doubts that it would be fully viewed as "tacky", whatever the heck that means.

C'mon. Live dangerously. Let us critique the renewal.

Seriously, I expect photos when the time comes. We want to peek at your special day.

Lol, what if I have a THEME wedding? Like...knights and dragons, or goth vampires in red and black?

Omg, that would be hilarious, rofl. I do plan on a dress that is in a fun color, but DH keeps asking if he can wear one of those crazy, ruffly pirate shirts...ummm...

Do it! I haven't seen anyone on here attack theme weddings when done well. It are the ones that get a bit out of control that may be tacky.

I have never been to a theme wedding but I would LOVE to. Some of the ones brides have posted in BWW are so beautiful!

 

[kenny]

Gosh, who knew there was so much interest in tacky weddings? . . .
There is even a website for them.

https://tackyweddings.wordpress.com/tag/tacky-wedding/

 

[Autumnovember]

yes, i agree a lot of what is tacky is totally subjective.

but could we all agree on SOME things being universally tacky?

my nominations are:

1. Not having enough food or making your guests pay for food

2. glitter and diamante everywhere (i'm not talking anything understated or tasteful)

3. not sending thank you cards/email/phone calls

Would anyone care to disagree?

I disagree on the sparkle, still. Anything that sparkles is beautiful in my eyes, completely impossible to be tacky with sparkly in my mind.

 

[AmeliaG]

yes, i agree a lot of what is tacky is totally subjective.

but could we all agree on SOME things being universally tacky?

my nominations are:

1. Not having enough food or making your guests pay for food

2. glitter and diamante everywhere (i'm not talking anything understated or tasteful)

3. not sending thank you cards/email/phone calls

Would anyone care to disagree?

It depends on number 1. Believe it or not, some people are at a very low income level but they still have a large circle of close family and caring friends. I can see where only inviting the people they can pay for themselves would cause for hurt feelings and unnecessary drama. If everyone knows the deal in advance, I can see a scenario where everyone would rather chip in on the food and drinks rather than miss sharing an important event in a loved one's life.

But the sceanrios in this thread where the guests found out at the reception are beyond rude.

 

[texaskj]

MonkeyPie.......love the red dress, cha, cha, cha!

 

[iheartscience]

yes, i agree a lot of what is tacky is totally subjective.

but could we all agree on SOME things being universally tacky?

my nominations are:

1. Not having enough food or making your guests pay for food

2. glitter and diamante everywhere (i'm not talking anything understated or tasteful)

3. not sending thank you cards/email/phone calls

Would anyone care to disagree?

I agree with all three.

I would expand the list to include not keeping your guests' comfort in mind. I went to a wedding with not enough chairs for the ceremony and literally NO chairs at the reception. Oh and no dancing because the bride and groom don't like dancing. And no booze because the groom doesn't drink. (No he was not a recovering alcoholic.) I guess they were just anti-fun in general? Worst. Wedding. Ever.

 

[lbbaber]

yes, i agree a lot of what is tacky is totally subjective.

but could we all agree on SOME things being universally tacky?

my nominations are:

1. Not having enough food or making your guests pay for food

2. glitter and diamante everywhere (i'm not talking anything understated or tasteful)

3. not sending thank you cards/email/phone calls

Would anyone care to disagree?

I agree with all three.

I would expand the list to include not keeping your guests' comfort in mind. I went to a wedding with not enough chairs for the ceremony and literally NO chairs at the reception. Oh and no dancing because the bride and groom don't like dancing. And no booze because the groom doesn't drink. (No he was not a recovering alcoholic.) I guess they were just anti-fun in general? Worst. Wedding. Ever.

No booze? no dancing? what the heck did they do all night? sounds like a snoozefest

 

[supergirl10]

The tackiest I have ever been to was a relative and it wasn't the bride or groom behaving badly but groomsmen and guest. One of the groomsmen was the inebriated by the speeches (pre 9pm) that he let rip an incoherent rant of jumble which included some extremely racially inappropriate comments.

Obviously these comments were inappropriate regardless of the audience but particularly so as the brides family are of a certain ethnic group to which the groomsmen was referring to So one of the guest became so upset he punched a hole in the wall.

Need I say more.

 

[iheartscience]

yes, i agree a lot of what is tacky is totally subjective.

but could we all agree on SOME things being universally tacky?

my nominations are:

1. Not having enough food or making your guests pay for food

2. glitter and diamante everywhere (i'm not talking anything understated or tasteful)

3. not sending thank you cards/email/phone calls

Would anyone care to disagree?

I agree with all three.

I would expand the list to include not keeping your guests' comfort in mind. I went to a wedding with not enough chairs for the ceremony and literally NO chairs at the reception. Oh and no dancing because the bride and groom don't like dancing. And no booze because the groom doesn't drink. (No he was not a recovering alcoholic.) I guess they were just anti-fun in general? Worst. Wedding. Ever.

No booze? no dancing? what the heck did they do all night? sounds like a snoozefest

People milled around and then left as soon as possible. Apparently their wedding was themed and the theme was "No Fun!"

 

[MonkeyPie]

I've seen this opinion a lot and I have to ask - why does alcohol HAVE to be part of the party? So many people complain when there isn't any booze, like they got jipped. Is it truly impossible to have fun without alcohol? (In the case of the wedding mentioned above, in their case, it was apparently impossible to have fun period, hah.)

 

[iheartscience]

I've seen this opinion a lot and I have to ask - why does alcohol HAVE to be part of the party? So many people complain when there isn't any booze, like they got jipped. Is it truly impossible to have fun without alcohol? (In the case of the wedding mentioned above, in their case, it was apparently impossible to have fun period, hah.)

Booze doesn't have to part of the party for it to be fun, but let's be real-parties with booze are almost always more fun than parties without booze. It loosens people up, gets them chatting with strangers, dancing, etc. And when I'm all dressed up and in a celebratory mood, I want a few drinks!

If the wedding I mentioned was for a couple of recovering alcoholics, I would completely be on board with no booze. However, it was really just another selfish choice in a collection of selfish choices that ensured that NO ONE had fun.

 

[MonkeyPie]

First, know I’m not picking at you or anything (you know I love you!), I think you just need to see both sides. I don’t think it applies to the wedding you talked about, since they were clearly just rude. No chairs? Sheesh.

I guess I don’t see the big deal for a couple of reasons. One, alcohol is effing expensive, especially if you want to invite a decent amount of people. (Like, you know, my whole family.) I’d have to save up for years to be able to afford a free open bar, especially since you would all call me “tacky” if I had a cash bar (which I think is a good idea because then it limits the likelihood of anyone getting wasted, though they could if they insisted on spending the dough).

Two, I am a drinker, but most of the older adults at my reception wouldn’t even drink. I’d have half of my invited guests not partaking, but I’d still be paying…just so my young partier friends can get drunk off their a$$? And yeah, DH has a couple people that would totally take advantage. They would be fun, but I DO NOT WANT drunk people at my wedding. If that makes me selfish, then that’s ok.
I think fun can be had without a ton of alcohol. I hate beer, but I’d still get a keg for anyone that wanted some, and maybe a signature drink to be given out at dinner. Enough for one or two a person. That’s it.

 

[DivaDiamond007]

Followed by a dingy dark dank VFW hall reception. With glitter on the tables that were covered with paper 'tablecloths'. I think there was a disco ball above the dance floor, too.

Excepting the glitter on the tables this sounds like my wedding reception! It ain't cheap to feed 300 people on a tight budget!

In all seriousness, my wedding/reception was a blast. We had a traditional Catholic Mass for the ceremony and then a HUGE PAR-TAY for the reception. Lots of food, booze, dancing and good times. People still talk about it 6 years later It was tacky (to me even!) but DH and I didn't care. We just wanted everyone to have a good time.

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

I have zero problem whatsoever with someone not having alcohol at their wedding, but I also think the couple should have realistic expectations. If you don't want alcohol at your wedding, then have the reception during the day or host a nice dinner at a restaurant . Do not have your wedding reception on a Saturday night with a dance floor and DJ and no alcohol, expecting people to dance 'til midnight because it's just not going to happen, and people will call it "boring".

 

[iheartscience]

First, know I’m not picking at you or anything (you know I love you!), I think you just need to see both sides. I don’t think it applies to the wedding you talked about, since they were clearly just rude. No chairs? Sheesh.

I guess I don’t see the big deal for a couple of reasons. One, alcohol is effing expensive, especially if you want to invite a decent amount of people. (Like, you know, my whole family.) I’d have to save up for years to be able to afford a free open bar, especially since you would all call me “tacky” if I had a cash bar (which I think is a good idea because then it limits the likelihood of anyone getting wasted, though they could if they insisted on spending the dough).

Two, I am a drinker, but most of the older adults at my reception wouldn’t even drink. I’d have half of my invited guests not partaking, but I’d still be paying…just so my young partier friends can get drunk off their a$$? And yeah, DH has a couple people that would totally take advantage. They would be fun, but I DO NOT WANT drunk people at my wedding. If that makes me selfish, then that’s ok.
I think fun can be had without a ton of alcohol. I hate beer, but I’d still get a keg for anyone that wanted some, and maybe a signature drink to be given out at dinner. Enough for one or two a person. That’s it.

It very well may be cultural/regional, but I do expect alcohol at any standard wedding. (Standard as in evening, ceremony, food at the reception, etc.) I have never been to a wedding without alcohol aside from the one I mentioned, and I have been to a ton of weddings.

I think if someone wants to have a wedding they need to keep their guests in mind. The vast majority of guests will want good food, drinks and a place to sit. Of course plenty of fun can be had without a ton of alcohol, but IMO an evening wedding with no alcohol at all is very strange.

If I were in your shoes and only half the guests would be drinking, great-you only have to pay for half as much alcohol! And to clarify, I have no problem with beer/wine/signature cocktail instead of a full bar. That's what we did to save on costs and it worked out beautifully. And the alcohol was really not expensive at all because we were able to buy it ourselves. We went to Costco and Whole Foods for it (plus the liquor store for tequila) and spent less than $1000 on alcohol for 125 people. (We had tons left over, but my biggest nightmare was running out so I overbought by a lot.)

I just think that if you're (general you) going to throw a party, it should be with the guests in mind. If that means half the guests will want drinks, buy them drinks!

 

[Clio]

I have zero problem whatsoever with someone not having alcohol at their wedding, but I also think the couple should have realistic expectations. If you don't want alcohol at your wedding, then have the reception during the day or host a nice dinner at a restaurant . Do not have your wedding reception on a Saturday night with a dance floor and DJ and no alcohol, expecting people to dance 'til midnight because it's just not going to happen, and people will call it "boring".

Eh, depends on the group. One of the best receptions I've been to was completely dry, and everyone danced and had a great time until the wee hours.