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Got any jokes?

sledge

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An old, blind Marine wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

The blind Marine thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'
 

missy

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"
Buddy and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year, and every year Buddy would say, "Edna, I'd like to ride in that helicopter."
Edna always replied, "I know Buddy, but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks."
One year Buddy and Edna went to the fair, and Buddy said, "Edna, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance."
To this, Edna replied, "Buddy that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks."
The pilot overheard the couple and said, "Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny! But if you say one word it's fifty dollars."
Buddy and Edna agreed and up they went.
The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word.
When they landed, the pilot turned to Buddy and said, "By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!"
Buddy replied, "Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Edna fell out, but you know, fifty bucks is fifty bucks!"
"
 

missy

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"

Genie: "I shall grant you 3 wishes".
Man: "I wish for a world without lawyers".
Genie: "Done, you have no more wishes".
Man: "But you said 3".
Genie: "Come on, Sue me!"

"
 

missy

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livingonthedge.jpg
 

missy

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missy

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notthedog.jpg
 

sledge

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My body may be younger but my soul still loves classic and 80’s rock. Music that focused on the important things — sex, drugs & rock n’ roll, LOL.

Not to mention…Def Leppard has Rick Allen, an amazing drummer absolutely killing it with one arm. Kudos.

 

sledge

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Some poor drunk bloke is going to have an epic story to share about how a shark ate half his junk and he barely escaped with his life.

FA16F58D-893C-439A-A48A-EC4B56F18F59.jpeg
 

kenny

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V.jpg


G.jpg
 

missy

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autocorrecteaster.jpg
 

sledge

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Definitely the case around our house….

0DBBBC6E-99BC-48D2-AD50-B6403D18D115.jpeg
 

sledge

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sledge

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missy

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kenny

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2.jpeg
 

kenny

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But sumptin tells me these gardeners, as is - or nude, just would not score a free fence.
Instead, they'd probably be gawked at with binoculars, drones, periscopes, and telephoto lenses.

Oooh, to be peak breeding age again. LOL

fence.png
 
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missy

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CF609913-4312-4D95-A06A-BEAD44E10BE5.jpeg

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missy

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missy

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kenny

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missy

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Did Charles Schultz really write the word Hell in one of his comics? :-o

I don't know Kenny. Until you asked I just thought it was real but now I am questioning it. It does seem out of character for him but I really cannot say either way. Sorry I do know the answer to your question
 

missy

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Screen Shot 2023-04-30 at 7.20.35 AM.png
 

kenny

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I don't know Kenny. Until you asked I just thought it was real but now I am questioning it. It does seem out of character for him but I really cannot say either way. Sorry I do know the answer to your question

No worries. :wavey:
 

missy

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sledge

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The moment you realize the coffee guy might be an “enthusiast”. Even color coded heads to identify hot & cold. :lol-2:

Real photo from travel adventures this weekend.


IMG_4320.jpeg
 

sledge

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IMG_4321.jpeg
 
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