getting lost in stupid stuff

[TooPatient]

AS --

Congratulations!

Take the time to think about what you two REALLY want and also what you would and wouldn't be okay with. Then talk to your families. Don't get pushed into something just to keep them happy. That is a great way to end up truly hating the planning process and having a bunch of family members telling you what to do even if you are paying for the whole thing yourselves. Make sure that whatever you decide to do is something that you two will be happy looking back on. You don't want regrets for the things you didn't do! (whether that is didn't elope or didn't have a small ceremony or didn't have a big ceremony is up to you!)

If you do decide to do a ceremony with some or all of your family members there, you can look around and find a place that will keep things easier for you. The winery we're using is doing LOTS of the stuff for us so we really don't have a lot to worry about. They were more expensive to reserve BUT not having to rent each and every little thing (tables, chairs, linens, etc) actually makes it cost less than some of the less nice places we were looking at.

Another option to consider is having your parents (and grandparents?) there with you but not the rest of your family. Some of the ladies here on PS have done stuff like this so that the super close family got to celebrate with them at the ceremony but it didn't grow huge with extended family.

 

[TooPatient]

Hoping to get done lots more this week. Goal is to get underwear, marriage license, kippot, DJ, shoes and the ceremony/reception books ready to print. If FI is up to it, we'll also start getting his tux stuff.

Well....
This all didn't happen!

Rosh Hashanah starts in just a little bit (like 1/2 hour) and I am scrambling to get dinner done. No computer until late Saturday night

Best we'll get done is shoes -- but that will be a major thing!
The rest will have to wait until next week.

Hmmm.... Of course I can think about e-pic locations and clothing



See you all in a couple of days

 

[audball]

Boo! I have to wait until late Saturday (you're 3 hours behind me, so probably early Sunday!!) to hear how the shoes work out!? Boo!!
Bummer you didn't get more done, but such is life. Do take the time to think other things through so that your'e ready to jump back on it when you're back to the computer!

 

[TooPatient]

I know!

It is going to drive me crazy sitting here unable to use the computer! So much to do and running out of time!


I've got the most current "in process" and "to do" lists printed out so I can remember what I'm working on. Should be able to make progress on e-pic stuff and maybe even song details. I'd like to be able to just jump in next week and knock a bunch of stuff off. My quarter starts 9/23 and I'd like to have most stuff done by then.

Sample reception layout from the winery is here too! I've got it printed so we can play around with that and get it set too. That will let me (hopefully) finalize my flower order.

 

[audball]

I hope you're able to make some progress! I'll be looking for your posts on Sunday to get the scoop for the next few days!

 

[TooPatient]

Quick stop since I had to do a school thing on the computer....

Out of all 7 pairs ordered, only ONE fit!
I guess I only need to wear one pair so I'm okay with that! (and now I know to get the EE sizes!)


So.....

Wearing the David Tate Rosette in navy

 

[audball]

YAY!! Sounds like they were meant to be!! You better have pictures come Sunday!

 

[TooPatient]

Pics Sunday!

(I am SO not good about staying off of computers )

Not much time for wedding stuff the last couple of days. Need to get going on that today & tomorrow.

But I've been busy doing the parent stuff -- shaving lesson AND tampon use explanation completed all in two days!

 

[audball]

Pics Sunday!

(I am SO not good about staying off of computers )

Not much time for wedding stuff the last couple of days. Need to get going on that today & tomorrow.

But I've been busy doing the parent stuff -- shaving lesson AND tampon use explanation completed all in two days!

Lol, I'd be terrible at staying off computers too! Pardon my total ignorance, but why is it you can't use the computer during this holiday (or all Jewish holidays)? I'm not very familiar with Jewish holidays so I'm totally curious! Feel free not to answer!

And fun times in A's life right now, huh!? That is a whole lot of new for a young teen.

Can't wait for an update come Sunday!

 

[TooPatient]

Pics Sunday!

(I am SO not good about staying off of computers )

Not much time for wedding stuff the last couple of days. Need to get going on that today & tomorrow.

But I've been busy doing the parent stuff -- shaving lesson AND tampon use explanation completed all in two days!

Lol, I'd be terrible at staying off computers too! Pardon my total ignorance, but why is it you can't use the computer during this holiday (or all Jewish holidays)? I'm not very familiar with Jewish holidays so I'm totally curious! Feel free not to answer!

And fun times in A's life right now, huh!? That is a whole lot of new for a young teen.

Can't wait for an update come Sunday!

Observance of holidays varies by family and location. We are part of a Conservative congregation with observance ranging from barely noticing holidays to very careful observance and everywhere in between. There is some debate as to whether electricity is or is not allowed on holidays (or for that matter Shabbat). Some people put their lights on timers so as to not be switching them on and off (Torah says to not light a fire) but to still be able to live comfortably. Some of them turn on other stuff like the TV too. Others (like us) choose to use electricity but not use computers, TVs or other electronic devices. It is great to have a day away from all that stuff! We really get to connect as a family on these days.

FI was in too much pain to go to services, but we were able to have some great meals as a family and discuss (at great length!) the history of the holiday.

Rosh Hashana is the new year. We celebrate with lots of good food (two big dinners plus some special brunches and stuff), candle lighting and (usually) lots of time spent in services.

 

[audball]

Observance of holidays varies by family and location. We are part of a Conservative congregation with observance ranging from barely noticing holidays to very careful observance and everywhere in between. There is some debate as to whether electricity is or is not allowed on holidays (or for that matter Shabbat). Some people put their lights on timers so as to not be switching them on and off (Torah says to not light a fire) but to still be able to live comfortably. Some of them turn on other stuff like the TV too. Others (like us) choose to use electricity but not use computers, TVs or other electronic devices. It is great to have a day away from all that stuff! We really get to connect as a family on these days.

FI was in too much pain to go to services, but we were able to have some great meals as a family and discuss (at great length!) the history of the holiday.

Rosh Hashana is the new year. We celebrate with lots of good food (two big dinners plus some special brunches and stuff), candle lighting and (usually) lots of time spent in services.

Interesting! Thank you for sharing! Happy New Year!

 

[TooPatient]

Shoes fit pretty well. A bit snug, but very close and I think they'll be comfortable enough. Not going to be doing a bunch of walking/dancing and it feels like new-shoe snug that will loosen as I wear them around the house a bit and for fittings.

Current debate is nylons or no nylons. FI says "stockings" are a must but can be in a nude color. "A" votes for no nylons but a pedicure with cute nails. I'm torn. My little toe on one foot comes right to one of the gaps so it might be more comfortable with nylons. But it might not be (given how thin they are) and it would seem like a pity to not have cute nails displayed.
Not that it matters terribly as most people won't see my feet...

So here are the pictures! (pardon my poor puffy feet, I've been doing several days running of 12+ hours in the kitchen and actually have blisters on the bottom of my feet)

Nylons? No nylons?

 

[madelise]

No nylons if you're planning to wear an open toe shoe! Unless you get those special nylons that are toeless. That's my vote Get a super cute pedicure and show off your toesies!

 

[vc10um]

No nylons if you're planning to wear an open toe shoe! Unless you get those special nylons that are toeless. That's my vote Get a super cute pedicure and show off your toesies!

I'm with A and madelise! Cute pedi all the way!

 

[TooPatient]

No nylons if you're planning to wear an open toe shoe! Unless you get those special nylons that are toeless. That's my vote Get a super cute pedicure and show off your toesies!

I'm with A and madelise! Cute pedi all the way!

Thanks Madelise & VC!

I've been leaning that way. I rarely (as in never in my life ) have had a pedicure and cute toe nails and it seems like open toed shoes at my own wedding is about the best excuse I'll ever get!

 

[TooPatient]

E-mailed the DJ. Hope to have that done in the next day or two.

FI seems to be standing alone in his desire for me to wear "stockings". I think I'm going to go ahead and schedule for my e-pics and then probably go with the same sort of style (assuming I like it) for the wedding.

E-pics now scheduled for 9/16. We'll be doing them at the Museum of Flight in Seattle.

Getting some sort of bra today. First fitting Wednesday.

Picking dress up this evening on the way to FI's dentist appointment. (have to take it Wed to the fitting and then after the fittings are all done the dress shop will clean & de-wrinkle)

FI is starting to feel a little better. Still not able to do much at all, but thinks he'll be able to stand long enough to get a tux fitting soon!

Music is now up to me. Once I finish up with the DJ, I need to use their online tool to compile the lists of music we've been talking about.

Event coordinator sent sample layout for reception. Looks pretty good. I might shift a bit, but that is pretty much done and ready to go.

Calling the ketubah place today also to see what they can do (if anything) about the shipping damage. It isn't so bad that I won't be okay with it if we're stuck with it this way.

 

[audball]

Cute shoes! I agree with everyone else -- no nylons! Nylons + open toed shoes = no no.

I will be wearing nylons, sheer ones, but I specifically shopped for fully closed shoes knowing I'd want to (short dress and cooler weather, wants something on my legs!).

Great progress on everything else!

 

[audball]

Got some more done over the weekend! We purchased outfits for our upcoming engagement pictures. I also am contemplating wearing some pearls I own for the wedding. Last time I wore them, I broke them and they need restringing. So as an "in progress", I dropped them off at the jeweler to get them restrung. I'm also having them shortened because I've never liked the length (gifted to me for college graduation, they were 22" and at my height/size, they always tuck into the top of whatever I'm wearing. I prefer necklaces like pearls to hang around on my collar bone area. Shortening to 18". My boss also offered to lend me some earrings that may go with my pearls should I decide to go that route. She's going to bring them in to see if I like them. I also have some borrow options that my sister has that I'll (hopefully) get a chance to check out in person when I'm in town this weekend for her wedding.

Also, garment bags came in and fit well, good to go there. My hair accessory also came in and it was damaged! Only one stone was missing. I contacted the seller and she gave me several options. I played around with it in my hair and decided that since I have to exchange anyway, I'm going to exchange for a slightly smaller size one she has (that actually is cheaper, too! Woot!). I think I'm going to go undergarment shopping the weekend of 9/28 and take the dress in for alterations then or sometime the following week (I need to call and see about protocol there...).

Slowly, but surely!

DONE:
His wedding band
Her wedding band
Her dress
His suit/shirt/tie
Booked hair/makeup for day of
Booked elopement package
Booked additional nights stay
Selected officiant
Selected cake style/flavors
Purchased cake topper supplies
Booked dinner reservations for wedding dinner
Booked photographer
Ordered flower selections
Wrote personal vows
Finalized ceremony script and got it approved by the officiant
Purchased bridal shoes
Scheduled engagement pictures
Purchased new point and shoot camera for trip
Purchased bridal hair accessory
Purchased garment bags to transport wedding outfits
Purchased outfits for engagement pictures

IN PROGRESS:
Assemble/finish cake topper
Purchase/borrow/select bridal jewelry

TO DO:
Purchase undergarments for dress
Get dress altered (will wait until late Sept/early Oct)
Purchase clutch
Purchase stationary (small cards/envelopes) to write vows on for ceremony and to have as a keepsake
Purchase fun socks for Groom
Select wedding first dance song and purchase for day of
Make spa appointments (mani/pedi, etc) (will make in early-mid Oct)
MARRIAGE LICENSE (will make apt in early Oct for day before wedding)[/quote]

 

[TooPatient]

Yay Audball! Awesome progress in everything.


Picked my dress up today.
Bought two different bras to try with it for the fitting. Couldn't find a long-line in a size that would fit me at the several stores I tried so just ended up going for regular strapless -- in 36DDD

Oh....
And our credit card started getting declined all over so I had to call them (nowhere near the limit!) to find out what was going on. Turns out buying over $1000 in shoes plus some random $800 paypal (wedding photographer) and then some bridal boutique (my dress) had them concerned so they blocked it for possible fraud.
Glad to know they are watching but Geesh! They've also blocked the REFUND of my returned shoes.
Oh well. All fixed now so I can laugh about it!

 

[audball]

Thanks TP!

How's the dress?! Bummer on not finding a long line bra. Hopefully the one you found will work well. My sister bought this long line bra online for $30 with free shipping and is very happy with it. Seems like they have a lot of sizes, but I don't see 36DDD, there is a 36DD or going up to a 38DD to give enough room for the girls. Just a thought in case you still wanted a long line.
http://www.cheeky-lingerie.com/push-up-bridal-bustier-corset-longline-bra.html

And boo on the credit card! I have had that happen before when buying furniture. On the one hand, like you said, yay that they're looking out for you, but not good timing!

 

[TooPatient]

The dress is still beautiful and I am still happy with it! Saw some others there that were just amazing but then remembered I'd tried on similar and they just didn't feel right for me.

I'm calling around to different stores today to see if I can find a place that has a long-line bra in my size. 38DDD (my tired brain couldn't read yesterday ) is not something I've seen many options in. The one your sister used looks comfortable! Okay... as comfortable as this sort of thing gets.

Have to deal with the health insurance company today. The company FI works for changed the way they do health insurance so 50,000 people were dumped into this new system before the insurance company was ready. Huge delay in processing stuff. We have met our deductible for the year (and then some) but they are several months behind in processing so all the drs get to see is that we still have to pay 100%. Need to talk to them and see if we are supposed to pay out of pocket and get reimbursed (should only be paying 10% after deductible) or what they want to do.

 

[audball]

I'm glad you still love your dress! My sister loves her long line and loves that it was also only $30 as many in stores are much more expensive. I randomly found it on pinterest! Hah.

I hope you're able to get the insurance stuff worked out!

 

[antiquesparkler]

I had to come and tell you all! We are eloping!! Eeeeeeee! We finally decided last night that we should go for it (after a lot of back and forth!)

We have to tell SO's family still but we are going to tell them in person early next month and then begin planning an elopement/honeymoon to the Florida Keys or the Bahahamas. I am so excited. I told my mom already and she was very supportive. She wants to help with all the dress shopping and details and she will help fund a BBQ for us when we return and host at her house so that our families can celebrate together.

Last weekend, we went and looked at a venue and while it was gorgeous, we just really werent wanting to deal with (or pay for!) centerpieces or table linens or DJs and neither of us really pictured that for our wedding.

We are thinking next fall so we have time to save up and do all of the neat activities that we want to do (scuba diving, swimming with dolphins, etc). More details to come but I havent really been able to tell anyone yet so I had to come tell you girls.

TooPatient, I am late but I adore the shoes. There is something really elegant about a french pedicure and some beautiful heels!

Thanks for listening to my happy rant!

 

[TooPatient]

AS -- Congratulations! That is so exciting. Doing what is YOU really is the best option at the end of the day. I'm glad you were able to look around and talk about it and make a decision you're both happy with.


Thanks. I do love the shoes. I'm not sure if they'd be comfortable enough to survive a night of dancing, but I can manage a ceremony and then sitting around. A bit of walking in them is okay!

My bra though
One of them was too small (not strapless just wanted a new bra for everyday wear since I need a new one) and left a perfect impression on my body of even the little detail stitching.
One of the strapless felt okay to begin with but after a couple of hours had actually pushed so much that I was nearly bleeding in a couple of spots.
The most comfortable strapless is okay for a bit but just focuses all of the weight right at one point in the center and hurts. Leaves this giant indent and ranges from slightly uncomfortable to "Gah! Get it off me!!!"
Not sure what to do. My fitting is tonight. I think I'm stuck with the most comfortable unless she can get enough support in the dress to not leave me sagging, drooping, flopping, popping out or any other embarrassing feature.
(Imagine my shock when I've always worn a B cup and sometimes maybe a C to be measured and find I'm actually a DDD!)

 

[audball]

Squee!! AS I'm so happy for you!! Doesn't it feel good to just be decided on a path!? I can't wait to hear all about your plans! For Florida, keep in mine the hurricane season so you don't end up with bad storms and/or getting rained out!

 

[audball]

My bra though
One of them was too small (not strapless just wanted a new bra for everyday wear since I need a new one) and left a perfect impression on my body of even the little detail stitching.
One of the strapless felt okay to begin with but after a couple of hours had actually pushed so much that I was nearly bleeding in a couple of spots.
The most comfortable strapless is okay for a bit but just focuses all of the weight right at one point in the center and hurts. Leaves this giant indent and ranges from slightly uncomfortable to "Gah! Get it off me!!!"
Not sure what to do. My fitting is tonight. I think I'm stuck with the most comfortable unless she can get enough support in the dress to not leave me sagging, drooping, flopping, popping out or any other embarrassing feature.
(Imagine my shock when I've always worn a B cup and sometimes maybe a C to be measured and find I'm actually a DDD!)

Oh no!!!

I would definitely talk to them about sewing in cups or something else as an alternative to a bra that is that uncomfortable. And I have to wonder if it's really that bad if the size is still not correct for you or if it's just really poor quality? Bras that fit well shouldn't be uncomfortable! Even strapless ones! **dust**

 

[TooPatient]

The one is comfortable enough now that I shifted it a bit. I've never worn a strapless so it is all new to me!

Shoes are NOT comfortable. Even standing in them for 30 minutes was not fun. Have to look into some sort of gel thing or something to help cushion a bit.

Dress alterations are under way!
She is taking it in to fit correctly in the top and through the waist. She also had the PERFECT veil for the dress! It is fingertip length with beading and sparkles that match the dress perfectly. Looks like they were made to go together!

Other than that, no real progress here. I've been dealing with real life stuff -- insurance, medical appointments, dishwasher repair -- most of the day.

 

[audball]

Bummer on the shoes! Do you think you'd want to try and find something else and return them? I think there are tons of lovely flats out there that you wouldn't have to worry about being so uncomfortable! I hate pretty but uncomfortable shoes. Seriously. I'd probably be wearing crocs if I had a long dress to cover them.

Nice that alterations and underway! I emailed an alterations shop yesterday to see about my dress. We'll see if they write back! Sorry so many other real life things are hitting you all at once! Try to hang in there. You're just over a month out!

 

[antiquesparkler]

Aud, Ahhh, too many things to consider! What's the weather like in January in Florida?

 

[audball]

Aud, Ahhh, too many things to consider! What's the weather like in January in Florida?

Yeah...I'm a lifelong Floridian. The weather here sucks most of the time. People form up north LOVE the summer, but it's pretty much all we get to experience so I'm well over the heat by May.

Official Hurricane Season runs June 1 - November 30. In my experience, the worst of the worst in terms of weather is usually more June - September. We don't have as many issues in October or November, but it *is* possible and has happened, so something to consider.

January typically is a really nice month in that it's one of the few months we usually get some cooler "winter" weather. That being said, while we get next to no rain, it can get cold cold which would probably keep you off the beach and out of the water.

With your plans, I'd probably aim for mid April to mid May. It's 90+% back to warm/hot weather by then from our (extremely) mild "winter", it's before hurricane/rainy season starts. It's also before "tourist" and snowbird season of June - August.

Obviously I'm giving a personal opinion over years of living here. Florida is as unpredictable as they come in terms of weather which is why getting married outdoors here wasn't even an option for us when we started looking at dates/venues (before deciding to elope out of state).

I have had Christmas's by the pool with 85+ degree temps, I've had April's where we were still wearing coats. We've had completely dry "winters" (Nov-Feb), and others where extremely late storms come through past the close of the official season. Anything can happen.

My biggest caution is to have a contingency plan that you would truly be elated to use as much as your outdoor option so that no matter what happens with the weather, you won't be too disappointed. Also pick a location where there are more than just outdoor activities to do in case it rains your entire stay here. I had a friend, her husband, and son come to the Bay area (Tampa-ish) for their first family vacation in July. They planned their beach vacation for months. It rained the whole time. They were cooped up in their condo with an 18 month old and maybe spent a total of 3 hours at the beach and/or pool in the time they were here around the rainstorms. Not good.