getting lost in stupid stuff

[TooPatient]

Need to try out a couple of nail places in the area to see who I like. (actually -- I should ask my friend who does her nails!)

Looking for something along the lines of the picture below but using the orchids as inspiration. Not sure if I'll do an orchid on each finger or just one on each hand. I had it done once before with a bold nail color and then the flower in white. It was amazing! May do that sort of thing...

 

[TooPatient]

I know very little about shoes. Shopping for them is one of my least favorite activities ever! I wear somewhere between a 7.5 and 8.5 depending on the brand/style but it MUST be a wide width.

Since I couldn't sleep, I figured I may as well read up on shoes here and see what I could find online. Found one pair that might be a possibility: here
Looks like a skinny heel though. Not sure if I like that. Okay... I like the look of that sort of heel, just not sure I can balance safely on one when wearing a long dress.

Dress is "ivory" but isn't one of the yellow-looking ivory shades.

I'll look in person at some places too and see what else I can find. Hoping to find cute but also very comfortable. Doesn't have to be white. (I have loved some of the bright color shoes some of the ladies here have chosen!)

Wearing sapphire/diamond necklace (same one I had on when trying dresses) and will likely have a nail color that is pretty bright too. (see picture of orchids in post about nails)

 

[LoveLikeCrazy]

love the dress, TP!!! You look beautiful in it!

I'm sorry that i'm no help on shoes, im a flip flip and flats kinda girl

And i love the idea of the flower painted on your nails! Might have to try out a few places to find someone who can replicate it to your liking!

 

[audball]

love the dress, TP!!! You look beautiful in it!

I'm sorry that i'm no help on shoes, im a flip flip and flats kinda girl

And i love the idea of the flower painted on your nails! Might have to try out a few places to find someone who can replicate it to your liking!

I'm with LLC! I'm no help with shoes. I'm stuck in the miserable journey of trying to find shoes that I don't hate and are comfortable while still being cute and giving me a bit of a height boost since FI is 14 inches taller than me!

The shoes you found are lovely, but I have the same concerns about wearing high skinny heels. I think with a long dress that will 99% of the time hide the shoes, you can totally go with whatever you love and not worry about it! My sister's BF just got married and wore multicolored tennis shoes under her dress, ha!

If my dress weren't short and going to be showing my shoes all day long in every.single.picture, I'd probably wear crocs.

 

[TooPatient]

Hmmmm.....

Great point -- they won't be in pictures so maybe the thing to do is visit every store in town focus on the comfort!


LLC -- Thanks! I'm with you on the practice nails. Maybe not a full fake set but at least painted to get a feel for who will be able to do it (and not leave me bleeding and infected like last time I had them done...) to my liking.


I've been good and let B sleep. Got a cart full of kippot on Etsy for him to pick from. I narrowed it down to my favorite 5 so he can pick from there. Also got one in the cart for "A".
Need to find one that I like (that isn't $300+) eventually but I don't think I'll need it before the wedding.

Also have a cart full of kosher wine ready to place the order there. (I figure 24 bottles will be more than enough!)

Have to wait for business hours to order the ketubah so the artist can get the correct spelling of our names and the extra special customization that we want him to fill in our names but leave the date and location for Rabbi to do on the day of.

Dang stores don't have any consideration for those of us who can't sleep

 

[audball]

Hmmmm.....

Great point -- they won't be in pictures so maybe the thing to do is visit every store in town focus on the comfort!

It's true! I get wanting them to be cute for when they *do* get caught on film, but there are so many non-traditional ideas to wear under long gowns that I think anything you love and just *own* on your day will be adorable. Here's my sister's friend's shoes!

 

[TooPatient]

More progress! Hope to get a couple more things done this week, but my focus is on my final exam (Thursday). Tentative plan is to pick dress up on Friday then go to try on underwear, veils, etc.
Depending on how FI feels this weekend, we'll either go then or I'll go on Monday to look for the various wine glasses we need. Should be simple to just pick them up at an antique shop.

10 weeks + 2 days

Done:
STD's mailed
his w-band bought
venue selected/booked
wine tasting arranged
cake
invitations
figure out who is sharing room with "A"
who to drive "A" over on the day of
Place in our house for TWO guests to stay (not a couple so need two locations)
My necklace (sapphire & diamond)
my w-band (just have to place order)
new kippah for FI
kippah for "A"
DRESS
order kosher wine for blessings

In process:
photographer (two promising possibilities found, must meet in person and make final choice)
DJ (FI working out music list etc)
music selection
flowers (verging on done)
dinner menu
brunch menu
KETUBAH!!! (placing order this week)
chuppah (brilliant idea -- must run by Rabbi for okay)
nails
shoes
Are we staying Friday night too??? (added cost of about $1,000...)
kippot (plural of kippah) for guests
book of blessings for dinner

To do:
(EVERYTHING!!!!)
hair
his tux
dress for "A" (waiting for September since she's growing fast!)
plane ticket for out of town guest
someone to watch animals for at least 2 nights
frame to hang ketubah
order kosher meals for Rabbi???
find a glass to break
toasting glasses
special Kiddush cup
ceremony programs
translate Hebrew sections to English to print for guests (leaving this to FI)
guest book?
schedule mikvah visit for me
marriage license
practice 1st dance (would like to have practiced with our instructor for 1st and last dances)
centerpiece materials
underwear to go with dress
dress fittings
veil

 

[audball]

It's coming along TP! Keep it up!

 

[TooPatient]

It's coming along TP! Keep it up!

Thanks!

How is yours going? You're almost there too!

 

[TooPatient]

RSVP waiting sucks! I am SO glad I left 7 days between my "reply by ____" date and the deadline to reserve or release rooms!

Got 2 more replies today.


Total so far:

yes -- 6 (8 if you count cantor & rabbi)
no -- 3
not replied -- 15 (17 if you count cantor & rabbi)

 

[audball]

It's coming along TP! Keep it up!

Thanks!

How is yours going? You're almost there too!

Going well! We got FI's suit straightened out last week so his attire is completely done/ready. Still working on shoes for myself...but I have two pairs on their way to me for trying (I've already bought/returned FIVE pairs already...). We contacted our officiant yesterday to begin working on customizing our ceremony and did a lot of that together last night. Still need to work on our personal vows, but we plan to keep them short and sweet since I'll likely be a sobbing mess and he's very shy.

I need to get in touch with the florist to order our flowers now that our "colors" (ie: my dress, his tie/suit) are settled. We know what we want, just a matter of formally getting it "ordered".

So...progress list like you!

DONE:
His Wedding Band
Her Wedding Band
Her Dress
His Suit/Tie
Booked Hair/Makeup
Booked Elopement Package
Booked Additional Nights stay
Selected Officiant
Selected Cake
Purchased Cake Topper Supplies
Booked Dinner Reservations for Wedding Dinner
Booked Photographer

TO DO:
Order Flower Selections (in progress)
Write Personal Vows (in progress)
Finalize Ceremony Script (in progress)
Get Dress Altered (will wait until late Sept/early Oct)
Bridal Shoes (in progress)
Bridal Hair Accessory (in progress)
Bridal Jewelry (in progress)
Spa Appointments (mani/pedi, etc) (will make in early-mid Oct)
Assemble/finish Cake Topper (in progress)
MARRIAGE LICENSE (will make apt in early Oct for day before wedding)

 

[audball]

RSVP waiting sucks! I am SO glad I left 7 days between my "reply by ____" date and the deadline to reserve or release rooms!

Got 2 more replies today.

Total so far:

yes -- 6 (8 if you count cantor & rabbi)
no -- 3
not replied -- 15 (17 if you count cantor & rabbi)

Oh no! I'm sorry people are replying promptly. I've heard that from every friend who's gotten married so far that RSVPs never come in on time and that it's incredibly frustrating, especially when you've given them ample time to send it back!

 

[LoveLikeCrazy]

TP! Your TO DO list is getting smaller! Seriously, i can't believe how much you have gotten done during school. INCREDIBLE! I def think you should give a trial run(or a few if need be), on the nail designs - not everyone is that talented to imitate the beautiful design you want.

Aud! My first phone meeting with the WC was moved up to this Saturday. Luckily, SO is able to get home and sit there with me while they try to talk us into all this stuff we dont need. I'm not good at saying no...LOL. We have a 1000 credit. 500 to be used towards the "wedding" - catch is, you have to purchase a CAKE! It will only be the 2 of us, and we plan on leaving the resort directly after the ceremony for our offsite pics, so it's definately a WASTE. Oh and the cheapest cake is 275...so thats the one we picked. The only other two things we committed to was hair trial, and hair the day of, so i'm sure the WC will be trying to get us to commit to more, but at this point thats all we need. I would love to get the makeup trial/day of but i have to ask about the makeup that is used. My face is extremely sensitive and i do not want to break out in a mess the day before my wedding If i get too scared, i will go to my local bare minerals store and have them do a "trial" of sorts, and have SO record them doing it so i can replicate myself...LOL

I don't like any of their flower selections, and was quoted an insane amount for a bouquet of gerber daisies. I decided to go the natural touch route. I am customizing a bouquet as we speak with http://www.wedideas.com. They have been GREAT with communication and design ideas. I saw some samples of natural touch flowers in person at the local hobby lobby and they are amazing for what i need. This way, i get what i want and for a fraction of the price. This is the "rough idea" of what i want, but i want hot pink gerber daisies added. His bout will be a hot pink gerber daisy(my fave flower). I'm sure Sandals will be up in arms im not spending 500 on flowers from them


We have also decided that when we come back to the resort, we want to do a candle light dinner. Its white glove service, with your own waiter, and a 4 course meal under the stars. I think this would be a perfect end to our evening, i won't be in my dress anymore, since we plan on TTD at the end of the photo session, but we have just enough time to take a quick shower, and get to the dinner. LOL I have emailed my TA about adding it on.

Ok, that's it in updates from me

 

[audball]

Yay for making decisions LLC! Try to stick to your guns and not sign on for too many of the "extras"! Why the hell do you *have* to have a cake if you don't want one!? That's crazy! I really wanted a miniature wedding cake and our package includes one, but still. Is it possible to have the resort staff take the remainder of your cake (after cutting, etc) to your room so you can enjoy it later or over the course of your stay? For $275, I'd want to eat every bite of my miniature wedding cake!

I think the hair trial/day of is a great plan but understand your worries about makeup/sensitive skin. Can you talk to their makeup person to find out if they have similar makeup to what you use (ie: the Bare Minerals?). If they do, you may be able to indulge in the extra pampering.

I love the flowers you picked and think going fake in your case is a great choice! You'll get what you want, pay less, and bonus...they won't die! Win win in my book.

And your candlelight dinner under the stars sounds AMAZING. Seriously, very romantic. I can't WAIT to see pictures from your big day! You're officially under 1 year out now!

 

[LoveLikeCrazy]

Aud, the "free wedding" includes bouquet, bout, cake, arbor, tables, reception crap....all stuff we don't need, so we opted to take the wedding "credit" with is 500 to use towards "wedding" then 500 to use towards your stay...so we could use it to upgrade our room (which we wont be we already have one of the highest room categories), get a cabana on the beach, spa, etc. The "kicker" to the 500 credit, is you MUST buy a cake. We don't even plan cutting or eating...LOL. I guess, i can just ask if they can bring it to our room. We are leaving directly after the ceremony to do the 3 hour photoshoot. We plan on bringing our bluetooth speaker with us, and we want to have our first dance on the beach with our photog so she can capture the moments.

I am going to ask about the makeup saturday. hopefully the WC can get the answer, or connect me to someone who can!

How is the planning coming on your end? Have you decided on flowers or anything yet? I can't believe how CLOSE it really is! EEP!

 

[audball]

Aud, the "free wedding" includes bouquet, bout, cake, arbor, tables, reception crap....all stuff we don't need, so we opted to take the wedding "credit" with is 500 to use towards "wedding" then 500 to use towards your stay...so we could use it to upgrade our room (which we wont be we already have one of the highest room categories), get a cabana on the beach, spa, etc. The "kicker" to the 500 credit, is you MUST buy a cake. We don't even plan cutting or eating...LOL. I guess, i can just ask if they can bring it to our room. We are leaving directly after the ceremony to do the 3 hour photoshoot. We plan on bringing our bluetooth speaker with us, and we want to have our first dance on the beach with our photog so she can capture the moments.

I am going to ask about the makeup saturday. hopefully the WC can get the answer, or connect me to someone who can!

How is the planning coming on your end? Have you decided on flowers or anything yet? I can't believe how CLOSE it really is! EEP!

I see! I get switching to the credit so you can do more of what's important to you than the stuff that's just included. I'd totally want the cake in my room if I was spending $275 on it. Seriously. Noms.

Things are good here! I posted an update a few up this morning about with a "done" list and a "to do" list ala TP ....not much left to check off!

 

[LoveLikeCrazy]

DOH, I did read that this morning! Lol. You are well on your way too! You are both super planners!!

 

[gem_anemone]

Delurking from this thread to say that RSVP's were by far the most stressful part of wedding planning. I still get pissed thinking about it and I just celebrated my one year anni. People are very inconsiderate of the RSVP deadline, even your best friends, even the people who got married last year, no matter the length of time you give them. Some will add people on that you didn't invite and some will say "yes" and then not bother to come to the wedding. I probably contacted 1/3 to 1/2 of my guest list the week after RSVP's were due. There was one couple that I never even heard back from (parent's friends....). I was lucky in that my venue allowed some extra seating for maybe's and non-responders without charging me extra, so on the off chance that any of those people showed up they would have a seat. None did.

 

[TooPatient]

Delurking from this thread to say that RSVP's were by far the most stressful part of wedding planning. I still get pissed thinking about it and I just celebrated my one year anni. People are very inconsiderate of the RSVP deadline, even your best friends, even the people who got married last year, no matter the length of time you give them. Some will add people on that you didn't invite and some will say "yes" and then not bother to come to the wedding. I probably contacted 1/3 to 1/2 of my guest list the week after RSVP's were due. There was one couple that I never even heard back from (parent's friends....). I was lucky in that my venue allowed some extra seating for maybe's and non-responders without charging me extra, so on the off chance that any of those people showed up they would have a seat. None did.

Thanks for delurking! All of my lists and what to avoid (and how to use the bathroom in a wedding dress ) come from the ladies who have gotten married and posted here!

I've been anxious and trying to remind FI that this is normal and NOT a reflection on how people feel about us. (we're both rather prompt RSVP repliers so the wait is not something he'd anticipated)

Your venue sounds amazing! Very kind of you to have seats available in case they did show up. (how rude of them to put you in that position!)

We hosted a bbq a few years ago and that drove me batty! 80+ people invited (community thing so I didn't get a guest list until after invites were sent) and as of three days before, we had something like 15 yeses and 50+ "maybe" --- How do you plan for that? We ended up having about 40 people show up (thankfully I'd rented plenty of tables & chairs!) but I spent weeks worrying about seating and food. We provided the main dish. BIG difference between chicken for 15 and chicken for 65!
I wonder if all these e-vite activities are leaving people with the idea that you don't actually have to commit to something until the day of?

 

[audball]

DOH, I did read that this morning! Lol. You are well on your way too! You are both super planners!!

No biggie!

 

[gem_anemone]

We hosted a bbq a few years ago and that drove me batty! 80+ people invited (community thing so I didn't get a guest list until after invites were sent) and as of three days before, we had something like 15 yeses and 50+ "maybe" --- How do you plan for that? We ended up having about 40 people show up (thankfully I'd rented plenty of tables & chairs!) but I spent weeks worrying about seating and food. We provided the main dish. BIG difference between chicken for 15 and chicken for 65!
I wonder if all these e-vite activities are leaving people with the idea that you don't actually have to commit to something until the day of?

TP Good thing you had enough seating and food for the people that did show up!! I think the bolded may be true! The attitude even seems to seep into snail mail wedding invitations.

I have a wedding RSVP I need to mail in due 8/30. I have been carrying it around in my purse for like a week. Last night I filled it out before I left work with the intention of throwing it in the mailbox on the way home. Then I left it at work! SO I guess people procrastinate and then stuff like that happens. If it were due today I would have been late. haha. I guess I am almost as inconsiderate as everyone else

 

[TooPatient]

We hosted a bbq a few years ago and that drove me batty! 80+ people invited (community thing so I didn't get a guest list until after invites were sent) and as of three days before, we had something like 15 yeses and 50+ "maybe" --- How do you plan for that? We ended up having about 40 people show up (thankfully I'd rented plenty of tables & chairs!) but I spent weeks worrying about seating and food. We provided the main dish. BIG difference between chicken for 15 and chicken for 65!
I wonder if all these e-vite activities are leaving people with the idea that you don't actually have to commit to something until the day of?

TP Good thing you had enough seating and food for the people that did show up!! I think the bolded may be true! The attitude even seems to seep into snail mail wedding invitations.

I have a wedding RSVP I need to mail in due 8/30. I have been carrying it around in my purse for like a week. Last night I filled it out before I left work with the intention of throwing it in the mailbox on the way home. Then I left it at work! SO I guess people procrastinate and then stuff like that happens. If it were due today I would have been late. haha. I guess I am almost as inconsiderate as everyone else

Well.... almost

I think getting a reply back a couple of weeks earlier than requested is wonderful! Clearly there are times when people need a bit longer to make sure they can arrange to be there (like my aunt with 2 kids) so I can understand taking right up to the "reply by" date. It has just been shocking how common the procrastinating has become. I've had stuff show up and sit around here for a couple of weeks so that I can fill it out "tomorrow" and even completed ready to go in the mailbox "tomorrow" so I get that part.

The "maybe" replies are insane though!
For a backyard potluck that may be just fine. (assuming it isn't numbers like we had where the "maybe" category was so huge!)
But "maybe" I'll be there for your wedding & plated dinner with 5* chef? (I feel like suggesting that in that case, "maybe" they should just stay home!)

I've gotten after FI for replying to social events with "tentative" on Outlook when there was no chance we'd be going. He wanted to have it left on his calendar so that we'd know when it was and maybe our plans would change... (thankfully one reminder of that bbq and he changed his reply!)

 

[TooPatient]

Got a bracelet and some earrings to try out with my dress!

Nothing special. I don't know if they are even actual pearls, but they look pretty enough and have a bit of sparkle. Will look tomorrow with my dress (and get pictures!) and see what I think. May or may not decide to wear them, but the price was right and they might actually look nice.


Talking with Rabbi & his wife to see if they need special meals brought in. That is a big item on my list. Hopefully we'll be able to cross it off as not needed or at least get the meals ordered.
(We're doing vegetarian so it should be okay, but if they'd be more comfortable the winery will let us bring in kosher meals)

 

[madelise]

Am I allowed to b*tch here, too, even though I'm not yet "engaged"?
I'm not even wedding planning yet, and FMIL is already making me hate weddings. I bawled at the lunch table yesterday, in public. I'm going to need xanax to survive this. F*CK!!

 

[LoveLikeCrazy]

TP! Can't wait to see pics of the jewelry!

@madelise, I've been hanging out over here. Luckily they don't bite

My update! Talked for the first time w the WC today. I mixed up the times bc I didn't realize the email said CST instead of EST. Whoops. So I was in a study group when she called. Anyways, I was kind of negative going in because I thought and read that they will try to sell you everything they offer. Well, I was wrong. She was SUPER NICE. Did not try to sell us ANYTHING. They will send our reception/cake to the room after the ceremony. I have to send the ceremony script I pieced together to her so that they can approve it. I found out the spas use MAC cosmetics, so I have to go to Nordys and get done up and see how my face reacts before booking the makeup trial/day of. At this time we have just committed to location, time, cake, and hair trial/day of.

She discussed all the timelines and what to expect when we arrive. She explained that the cheapest photo package would be plenty for the ceremony since we are leaving after for our offsite photos. She is able to book the candle light dinner and she suggested we book at least 1 or 2 excursions that we def want to do in case they are booked up when we get there. Hmmm, I guess all in all I feel great that I am well on my way to having this crap planned lol. I told her I would call her back with our excursions, photography, definite on candle light dinner and makeup by end of sept.

Oh! I placed the order for my flowers. They should be in by Oct. I can't wait to see them! I was told they will be fine in the box they shipped them in. Just keep them away from direct sunlight for extended periods and also keep away from dust. I decided on a 12" bouquet and a fushia gerber a daisy bout for him.


My list!

Done
Flowers
Ceremony location/time
Cake
Hair appts
Offsite photographer
Music to walk down aisle

To-Do
Makeup trial at MAC counter, if goes well - book makeup trial/day of
Passport
Wedding documents mailed fed ex or UPS to Sandals
Send ceremony script for approval
Sandals photography pkg selection
SO new copy of Scuba certification (his is old/faded)
Wedding bands
Book candle light dinner
Select/book excursions
Dress
SO's outfit

 

[audball]

Am I allowed to b*tch here, too, even though I'm not yet "engaged"?
I'm not even wedding planning yet, and FMIL is already making me hate weddings. I bawled at the lunch table yesterday, in public. I'm going to need xanax to survive this. F*CK!!

Of course you're welcome here! Like LLC said...we don't bite and like having things hopping in these parts!!

What did your FMIL do that made you bawl in public!? Poor thing!

 

[audball]

SOOO great that they didn't try to "sell" you on anything and that she was super nice! Bummer on the time confusion -- I do that at work sometimes too because the company that hosts our system is on the West Coast and we're on the East Coast and 3 hour time difference screws me up! Lol.

Sounds like you're moving right along! Good to know you can try out the MAC makeup products in person before you commit to the trial/day of as part of your package. And serious YAY on being able to get your cake to the room for that price!!

I can't wait to see your flowers when they come in!

 

[TooPatient]

Am I allowed to b*tch here, too, even though I'm not yet "engaged"?
I'm not even wedding planning yet, and FMIL is already making me hate weddings. I bawled at the lunch table yesterday, in public. I'm going to need xanax to survive this. F*CK!!

FMIL

Please post over here lots!

What happened?

 

[TooPatient]

LLC -- Exciting! So glad to hear she was friendly and not all sales. All of this is so much easier when you've got a great coordinator to work with!

 

[TooPatient]

9 weeks + 3 days

OMG!!!!

My quarter is over so I can focus on this now! Got lots to do but so very close on some of it. I'm pretty much on my own with all of this right now. FI is having a bad muscle problem and I've got to talk with the HR department for him and get him on short term disability. He's been out of work for the last three weeks and it looks like he'll need another 3-4 before even looking at going back.
The chiropractor and dr and muscle therapy guys all have instructions that our wedding is coming up and he MUST be standing straight and not grimacing by then!

In the mean time....
I'm getting lots done and should be crossing a bunch off over the next couple of days.