For those of us with setting commitment issues...

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 1/31/2007 12:15:25 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 1/31/2007 12:09:35 PM
Author: Cehrabehra
I would upgrade the center stone, get the new setting and eventually put a diamond in your current setting the same size as it was the *day* he proposed

*spitting coffee across the room*

Two words: AS IF!

I know I know - but if she has a 5 carat honker, why the heck not put a "little" 1.5 carat stone to commemorate the day? LOL!!

<~ ultimate sap, yes... I know this!!

 

[Mara]

lol as if is right (deco you know me so well!)....and to be quite honest, i never quite liked the look of my rings with a 1.3 stone in them. the stone was too small, the bands too wide etc. it just visually doesn't appeal to me anymore. and i'm not really THAT sentimental. i do like my rings and i would be upset if something happened and they were lost or stolen definitely because these ARE the rings we started out with (center stone not included)...but they do not represent my relationship or my love or committment anything like that. they are really mostly material. and i didn't buy them based on trends or whatever, i had eternity rings before eternity was even 'in'...i just liked the look of the rings that my jeweler's wife had and that was it...at the time there was hardly anything else out for me to choose from stock (not like today!) so we did custom. clumsy custom though. if i ever changed them out i'd most likely keep them and put another melee in the e-ring to make 2 eternity rings to wear as stackables or with my new set or whatever. but IDEALLY i would like (today) to get a solitaire e-ring then use my existing w-ring because i would like to continue to use my w-ring as i am a bit sentimental about it...but i'm not averse to thinking of other options. hehe.

honestly i don't think anyone's idea of what is right for them is wrong...and i like living vicariously through others. i think each person has their own reasons for why they want something they want. where i mentally kind of object is as deco said, the anxiety or the pressure or the upset about putting so much emphasis on a setting...the words one uses to phrase how they expect the setting to come out, etc. what if something happens and you lose the setting or it's destroyed 5/10/20 years from now? i don't want to be THAT vested into my setting to where i'd be devastated if anything happened to it. it's still just a material object.

but i really do remember what it was like for that one month going 'oh my gosh, so many ways to go, what to do'...and if it hadn't been for greg coming in and saying 'hey we like this right? then lets get it!' i'd probably have gone on for another month or two or whatever. and of course a year later, the settings i might have wanted (non-custom) start coming out and then 2 years later there are even more like what i would have wanted etc. and then 3 years later i am thinking oooh solitaire is just so simple. i am definitely not 'trendy' when it comes to jewelry or clothes, i buy what i LIKE. but i think as others have already said, tastes do change and i think people should try to mentally be accepting of that just in case.

mrs salvo i can't wait to see what you choose!

 

[movie zombie]

Date: 1/31/2007 12:15:38 PM
Author: Cehrabehra

Date: 1/31/2007 11:23:20 AM
Author: sumbride
You know... I can''t see any setting as ''permanent'' in my mind because would I still wear the same shoes in 10 years? carry the same purse? cut my hair the same? Then why should my ring be the same?

Styles change, tastes change, incomes change... why put all this pressure on yourself to decide now what you''ll still love in 40 years?

Of course... my mom is on her 6th ring, but her 1st husband! The jeweler tells her she''s unique in that respect in the town... everyone else just gets a new husband to get a new ring. I think I like my mom''s strategy better.

I don''t have a problem with others feeling like this, but to explain how it can be different in the first paragraph - because I don''t believe *wedding* rings should be a fashion statement that changes with the trends. To me they are an eternal statement that goes far deeper than what metal is in style etc. Of course I still have shoes that are 10 years old and my hair is exactly the same as it was in high school other than I grew out my bangs LOL (shoulder length bob)

My anniversary band is NOT something I would choose now.... I don''t even really like channel set anymore... but the ring stands for a moment in time, a renewal with all of our family on the spot he proposed.... it isn''t a fashion statement, it is a symbol of a moment, of a love. It doesn''t *matter* what it looks like. And that''s where the pressure of picking something actually EASES because no matter what it looks like, that''s what will be perfect. Just gotta get to that point.

ditto! why am i not surprised?! and it is a personal thing as to when any one of us gets to that point.

i normally don''t have a problem making decisions. when i do it means something isn''t right. my husband has noticed this and pointed it out to me more than once and even mentioned it during ''the process''. and the process was actually something i did not post about at pricescope. i did post about the spess purchase....then therer was such a long period of time that i started getting personal e-mail from people asking if i had had it set yet! it wasn''t until the ring was completed did i again post about it. the process was personal for me and not something i was willing to share even with pricescopers.

movie zombie

 

[nejarb]

i have a 1.5 rb w/ sapphire halo, and i still love it (not even married yet), but one of the sapphires fell out last week and now i''m just thinking to totally start over. but this is going to seriously annoy my fi, so we''re sort of at a stand still. even before the sapphire fell out, i''d mentioned having it reset in same style & w/ same stones, but better craftsmanship (maybe leon mage), b/c it wasn''t ever sized to fit me, the bezel was crooked, and it hurt my finger to take it on and off (even at 3/4 size too large).

we got the setting (fay cullen?) at a jewelry store/pawn shop, out of state, and at cost b/c his parents are friends w/ owner. probably a mistake, as my fi didn''t have a good experience dealing w/ them, and they never even sized the thing! now a few months later, a stone pops out. so facing the issue of where to get it fixed, and then wondering if this is going to be something ongoing throughout my life w/ this setting, i''m having a very serious problem committing to the setting again. i''d actaully like to just go w/ something totally different but my fi is being so sentimental about it, saying how it bothers him that i don''t like it enough to want to have it fixed properly and keep it.

i dunno, i just don''t want to ever go through this again. but to him it''s like i''m glad this happened b/c now i can get something different and he''s worried i''ll want to change the setting every 6 months or something!

well, i know i can indulge a little here--what do you guys think of a 3 stone leon mage w/ a really thin shank and those delicate pointy prongs that he does? i don''t like the 3 stone w/ all rb look, but i was thinking maybe something like pears, trillions, or tapered baquettes. or trapazoids.


oh gypsy, i think you should just keep the simple setting and wait and then when the time comes that you see what you know you really want, and you guys can foot the bill, then go for it.

 

[pricescope]

Girls, not having fun at your expense - i sympathise you.

On a serious note, i received my 2 color change sapphires, was admiring them for 2 days and managed to drop both on the tile floor, one of them has a crack now.
It went to the ring maker next day, i am too clumsy not to have it set.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 1/31/2007 1:00:49 PM
Author: Mara
honestly i don''t think anyone''s idea of what is right for them is wrong...and i like living vicariously through others. i think each person has their own reasons for why they want something they want. where i mentally kind of object is as deco said, the anxiety or the pressure or the upset about putting so much emphasis on a setting...

You know... most of the time when the ring seeking takes a turn for the worst is when others insert the expectation of pain and anxiety into the situation. That''s not to say there is NO anxiety (at least on my part) but it is in control in as much as it is a *feeling* that is upsetting. Mostly I have issues that need reassurance or to be talked through and the process IS enjoyable.

I do think I have another reason for dragging my feet though LOL I really love taking photos of the stone unset hehe I''m sure I''ll love taking pics of it in the setting even more, but once it is in - it is IN baby!!

The main issue I''m having is just WHO do I trust with this? I want someone who is excited to make this happen... and I feel overwhelmed with which pics to choose to get my point across. I have at least 50 pics that I feel need to be shared for one detail or another and that''s just insane!!! I have to whittle that down to like 1/10 that!

The other issue I''m having is how are the prongs and shank going to mix with the bowl? Are the prongs going to go straight down or angle to meet at a center point or angle to meet off in pairs.... are the prongs sufficent for the bowl or is there going to need to be some metal webbing between prongs... I keep trying to draw it but I SUCK at drawing and am even worse at photoshop and I don''t know if I can expect a jeweler to draw more than one idea and run with it...

The list of jewelers in my head keeps rotating around... whiteflash.... maytal... greenlake... wink/ocean... mainly it is down to those three I think. Whiteflash will cut out something gorgeous in quick order but I wonder if it will lack soul... if that makes sense to anyone. I have seen VERY few pieces maytal has done and have no idea what her satisfaction guarantee level is like or what her process is. Greenlake is a good option but I''m a little uncomfortable going back since the last woman I worked with was probably not the best choice for me. And there are definite advantages going through wink, but I haven''t seen much of ocean''s work either and what I saw was a totally different style and I don''t know how comfortable she is working with other things.

So my commitment phobia isn''t about the ring design just the jeweler at this point LOL I would like a jeweler to take singular pride in this and impart a bit of themselves into it... and that is probably the only reason I don''t go with whiteflash straight off. I don''t doubt their quality or customer service, just don''t want to feel like cattle.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 1/31/2007 1:14:57 PM
Author: movie zombie

ditto! why am i not surprised?! and it is a personal thing as to when any one of us gets to that point.

i normally don''t have a problem making decisions. when i do it means something isn''t right. my husband has noticed this and pointed it out to me more than once and even mentioned it during ''the process''. and the process was actually something i did not post about at pricescope. i did post about the spess purchase....then therer was such a long period of time that i started getting personal e-mail from people asking if i had had it set yet! it wasn''t until the ring was completed did i again post about it. the process was personal for me and not something i was willing to share even with pricescopers.

movie zombie

I am notoriously slow at *making* decisions but I also very very very rarely regret them. I just run with what I have!!

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 1/31/2007 1:14:57 PM
Author: movie zombie
the process was personal for me and not something i was willing to share even with pricescopers.

movie zombie

I''ve shared maybe more than you have, but there is a lot I haven''t. I doubt most here really want to be a part of my thought process - there is a certain pressure to just produce something that can be looked at quickly so it can be looked at before moving on to the next thing to be looked at. I plan on looking at this for a LONG time. I chose a pretty unusual diamond and it pretty much has chosen its own setting... right away I knew it needed 8 prongs set in just the right spots... and right away I knew that it needed a 3 part band with the center part being more dull than the other two (was thinking baguettes and now going with plain matte) because the big facets in the middle don''t do well competing with sparklies from melee but the outer edges come alive in line with sparklies. And getting a "leaky" OMC I knew I wanted a bowl under it... those are the 3 pain parts of this ring and the stone pretty much decided them all LOL I wanted something lacy but this stone said oh hell no!! LOL

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 1/31/2007 1:26:27 PM
Author: Pricescope
Girls, not making fun at your expense - i sympathise you.

On a serious note, i received my 2 color change sapphires, was admiring them for 2 days and managed to drop both on the tile floor, one of them has a crack now.
It went to the ring maker next day, i am too clumsy not to have it set.

oooh ouch - is it one of the saphs that is going in the ring or did you have a spare?

and frankly if I had your photoshop talent mine would already be at the ringmaker too LOL I doubt my ability to express myself more than anything!! I know my old jeweler was ill and I kept having to say the same things over and again because her head wasn''t in it... but I still wonder if it was somehow my fault and I just couldn''t explain things well enough

 

[pricescope]

The chipped one being set now, it's not that big a deal to pass on this rare stone Cehra, as far as i am aware of your situation - those wire prongs should have not be part of the wax - they scared you away. Did you talk about it with your jeweler?

 

[FireGoddess]

I recognize that one may want a forever ring. But I think that puts too much pressure on it and you end up spinning in circles and never being able to come to a decision for fear of future dissatisfaction. My custom halo was designed in mind to be a ''forever'' thing but it was in the range of cost that I would be okay switching it out in several years if my tastes change. Allowing myself that ''freedom'' of ''I can change this in the future'' and keeping the budget in a range that I wouldn''t feel bad about it was the best choice for me. I wouldn''t be able to do that if I spent say, $7-10k on a setting. But ~$2k? Sure.

 

[Odilia]

It's funny to see this thread on the day I'm starting to look at PS again after shelving my setting project after a bad year last year made me put it on hold.

I could start out like mrssalvo and say, "I'm OFG and I have setting commitment issues

" So I can totally relate to gypsy, cehrabehra, and mrssalvo and others, at least in general, if not the particulars. I could try to summarize my plight as follows:

When I first got engaged, I was clueless about any of this, and to make a long story short, I picked out my setting, and wound up hating it. Not everything about it, and at first I didn't even know why, so it sort of took a while to figure out why. But to summarize some of my own peculiar ring hangups:
1. I HATED

that there was no harmony between shank and head - so ugly - prongs just sprang out of nowhere; also had a lame profile.
2. it was the type of setting that needed a V-shaped wedding ring next to it to look right, & I didn't want to spend a lot of $ on a diamond wedding ring that I would never wear alone, and I wanted to be able to wear it alone.
2. To me it looked dumb next to a non-V-shaped band (in other words, a normal band)
3. It was somewhat blingy, and to me (I know this is where I'm probably alone),
a) two blingy rings next to each other are too blingy (plus the center stone gets lost),
b) blingy next to non-blingy doesn't match
c) changing to plain solitaire next to plain wedding band is boring.

aaarrrghhhh -
Now that I've insulted more than half the populations wedding sets!

, that was what got me stumped. And as Mara said, "at the time there was hardly anything else out for me to choose from stock (not like today!).....and of course a year later, the settings i might have wanted (non-custom) start coming out and then 2 years later there are even more like what i would have wanted etc." For example, AFTER I got married I saw Ritani Endless Love with its thin pave bands, which would have matched but not been too blingy, or even better, Michael B Lace would have been just the ticket - a little bit blingy next to a little bit blingy.

But anyway, I found a band that had little diamonds with some carving in it (in YG, which I didn't want; I wanted white metal but due to temporary insanity? got the yellow gold), changed my e-ring to solitaire (with the idea that I might someday change it, because I had to go thru my jeweler to get the refund on the original setting, and he had very limited selection) to go with it.

Get married, don't like my set more and more, again it takes a while to figure out why; fast forward to 2005 when I told my DH, he said I can get new setting; look in vain for something to match my carved, YG ring with little diamonds, and by this time I know for sure that I am NOT a solitaire girl. So now, my dilemma was, I am sentimental about the w-band, trying to find a setting for my diamond to go with it, which is nearly impossible. (This reminds me a little of Gypsy's plight, and I must confess I could relate to deco's 1st comments to her: (re-written to fit my situation) "Throttle me if you will -- but I think you need to "get real" w/yourself & admit that [my w-band] is just too tricky to [match] for you to ever feel like [a setting that matches it] is "perfect" and [does justice to my diamond] & that will make you love it "forever". It's too much to ask of a setting to make you love a [ring or set] you don't."

Finally I found a little antique ring - a set actually - that went better with my WB than anything else I'd seen. The whole set was only $2400 or something, including a 0.94ct diamond, so I realized, this is the only happy solution! Wear this little ring with my WB, and now my e-diamond is 'free' to be put in a white setting, which can be blingy because it won't be next to another ring, and can be white metal which I really wanted. This way my WB still has a mate, but I can get what I really like, which is a white metal, blingy stand-alone ring.

So, it was about a year ago I wanted to try the search for my setting, and I did get to work on it some, but here I can relate to mrssalvo again, with outside circumstances interfering with the search: death of MIL, trying to get a better situation for an elderly aunt who is getting alzheimer's (which took half the year), and then pregnancies and miscarriages, and even some house-hunting, which all totally put the poor ring search on the backburner. I have pretty much been decided on at least the overall style/ type of setting since last June or so; just need to decide on the details. And will likely go custom, which is more time-consuming that just buying a stock ring.

So anyway, one lesson learned was that I was trying to do the impossible, in a way, to find the perfect 'wedding set' with the handicap of a wedding band that was hard to match etc... So getting the other ring to match it and then finding a new setting for my e-diamond (once I finally ever decide on that one!) wound up being a non-traditional but happier solution. I wanted to do the "one perfect set that you wear forever" traditional thing, but I had to break out of that and realize it wasn't the perfect solution for me. I don't know if this long saga helps any.......

(ETA: Also, another reason I am so indecisive or picky or whatever is because of that first experience, of thinking I was going to like a ring and then hating it once it was on my finger. I'm paranoid that could happen again.)

 

[butterfly 17]

i don''t know if anyone is truly completely happy with their ring. Except for LynnB (LOL), but in general, most people love the look of different settings, even if they wouldn''t choose that setting themselves, so it''s so hard to pick that perfect one.

I think it''s actually easier to pick a diamond, you basically know your budget, know what size you want, color, etc. and just adjust everything to make sure that you get whatever you want without compromising too much here and there.

With a setting, it''s different. You see so many settings and everything looks great, just not exactly how you would picture it, a little thinner here, a little less pave there, more pointed prongs, etc.

Then someone else comes along with a beautiful setting and you think, hey, my diamond would look way bigger in that setting, or how come I didn''t think of that before.

I thought I found the perfect setting with my Ritani pave ring, then I started craving a solitaire again, so I got the Vatche Royal Crown again.

Then, I realized that the Ritani is extremely thin, but I otherwise love the setting, I thought about changing it and then realized, for what? I won''t notice that much of a difference between 1.9mm and 2.2 mm anyway and the diamonds won''t be that much bigger.

So, I decided to just keep what I have and enjoy it. It doesn''t mean that I won''t change the setting in the future, but I am happy that I made a decision that I could live with and know at that time, I didn''t sacrifice anything I wanted to get it.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 1/31/2007 1:47:18 PM
Author: Pricescope
The chipped one being set now, it''s not that big a deal to pass on this rare stone Cehra, as far as i am aware of your situation - those wire prongs should have not be part of the wax - they scared you away. Did you talk about it with your jeweler?

I''m not sure what you mean by the above part... and I haven''t talked to the old jeweler since early december. Here''s a pic of the wax last I saw it, but I won''t be going back. The upper right pic is a bit older.

I love the basic design (she did no shank work on this) but it lacks finesse in a big way... the prongs still aren''t hitting the right places, there''s just a LOT of tweaking here that needs to be done and every time I told her like you need to move the cross over lower so you can hit the facet junction and yes I know it will close in the "viewing window" to the front some but I really want to be able to see some girdle between the prongs and I really want the prongs to hit those junctions and all she would do is thin them a bit. The original wax was done without my direct input by someone else and rather than hurt that original jewelers feelings, the later jeweler just worked with the same wax even though she admitted right off the bat she should just totally do it over. I can''t TELL you how many times I went in just because she was making the bowl bigger to fit the diamond correctly.... and it still isn''t wide enough for the diamond to sit low. I won''t even talk about where the shank meets the head other than to say nuh-uh. Even still - if you can see past the execution of this I still *love* this setting! The shank is totally off but just the head part.

 

[KristyDarling]

Date: 1/31/2007 1:48:02 PM
Author: FireGoddess
I recognize that one may want a forever ring. But I think that puts too much pressure on it and you end up spinning in circles and never being able to come to a decision for fear of future dissatisfaction. My custom halo was designed in mind to be a 'forever' thing but it was in the range of cost that I would be okay switching it out in several years if my tastes change. Allowing myself that 'freedom' of 'I can change this in the future' and keeping the budget in a range that I wouldn't feel bad about it was the best choice for me. I wouldn't be able to do that if I spent say, $7-10k on a setting. But ~$2k? Sure.

This is brilliant!

Gypsy, maybe you could set a "stretch" budget for your e-ring....the most you could possibly afford right now, and do your best to find a ring that you like best and could fathom living with forever. Assuming the setting is not going to cost an arm and a leg, you won't feel horrible about the sunk cost *in the unlikely event* that you decide to change your setting down the road.

We just have to find you a way of shopping that won't stress you out! I, and the other Bay Area PSers I'm sure would be happy to go shopping with you sometime...we could make it a fun thing! Shopping, mani/pedi, coffee break, shopping....no stress!!

Have you tried the GiftCenter/JewelryMart yet? Settings, upon settings, upon settings....so many to choose from. And all in one place. Let me know!!!

 

[mrssalvo]

Date: 1/31/2007 1:48:02 PM
Author: FireGoddess
I recognize that one may want a forever ring. But I think that puts too much pressure on it and you end up spinning in circles and never being able to come to a decision for fear of future dissatisfaction. My custom halo was designed in mind to be a ''forever'' thing but it was in the range of cost that I would be okay switching it out in several years if my tastes change. Allowing myself that ''freedom'' of ''I can change this in the future'' and keeping the budget in a range that I wouldn''t feel bad about it was the best choice for me. I wouldn''t be able to do that if I spent say, $7-10k on a setting. But ~$2k? Sure.

this is where I''m at right now. I think part of my problem has been not wanting to spend a lot if I think I''m going to change down the road. Many of the settings I love are so expensive that I would feel bad changing. I''ve come to the place where I want to buy something more reasonable so if I do decide to change I won''t feel guilty about it. I don''t have sentimental issues with my rings. I have my original set which I will always keep but hubby doesn''t really care what I wear. I think this is key for me, to just chose something I like and while not spending a ton on it. It might take some of the *forever* pressure off.

 

[Mara]

i''ve often thought that some of these settings at like $5k or $7k or whatever make you seriously stressed thinking about them becuase who doesn''t want to spend $7k thinking it IS a forever ring? that''s a huge chunk of change and it''s what some people''s entire ring plus diamond costs. but $1k or $2k is so much easier to say ''well if in 10 years it''s not what i love then i won''t be out too much...''. $2k was like where my comfort zone was. but it was still $2k per ring. that''s not chump change. so i think mentally i want to be okay with the rings for as long as possible...like from an ROI thing. hehee. and good old fashioned catholic guilt!

 

[sumbride]

There''s also the "things happen" aspect of rings... Here''s my mom''s story, leaving out her "change in style" switches that happened first.

You think you have the perfect ring... it could be bigger, but you have other priorities... then your son comes to you and says "mom, I can''t afford a diamond right now..." and you give him yours and get a slightly bigger diamond. The next son sees this and a few years later says "mom..." but at that point you can''t afford a bigger diamond, so he gets the diamond and you replace it with a sapphire. 5 years later it looks too plain so you have some melee added to it. 5 more years go by, you have a fight with your daughter''s aggressive pet goat, and your sapphire pops out... presumably swallowed by the goat, but who can know? You''re sad... husband and daughter sneak empty ring out of your jewelry box without you knowing, have a much larger diamond put in, and surprise you with it. And you''re ecstatic!

The goat (yes, really!) ate my mom''s sapphire in November. She''s loving her newly designed ring with bigger diamond! And the goat has a new home down the road.

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 1/31/2007 2:52:39 PM
Author: sumbride
There''s also the ''things happen'' aspect of rings... Here''s my mom''s story, leaving out her ''change in style'' switches that happened first.

You think you have the perfect ring... it could be bigger, but you have other priorities... then your son comes to you and says ''mom, I can''t afford a diamond right now...'' and you give him yours and get a slightly bigger diamond. The next son sees this and a few years later says ''mom...'' but at that point you can''t afford a bigger diamond, so he gets the diamond and you replace it with a sapphire. 5 years later it looks too plain so you have some melee added to it. 5 more years go by, you have a fight with your daughter''s aggressive pet goat, and your sapphire pops out... presumably swallowed by the goat, but who can know? You''re sad... husband and daughter sneak empty ring out of your jewelry box without you knowing, have a much larger diamond put in, and surprise you with it. And you''re ecstatic!

The goat (yes, really!) ate my mom''s sapphire in November. She''s loving her newly designed ring with bigger diamond! And the goat has a new home down the road.

hopefully it pooped it out before you got rid of it LOL!!! Do you have pics of the new ring??

 

[TravelingGal]

I haven''t read all the posts, but here''s my two cents...

I thought mine was a forever ring. It''s sentimental.

I still don''t think I''m going to change it, but only 4 months into my marriage (and the excitement of it all has settled a bit) I realize that I''m not sentimental about my ring. I''m sentimental about my husband.

To each their own, and while I understand the stressing, I draw the line if any of you ladies are getting ulcers.

 

[sumbride]

Date: 1/31/2007 2:55:22 PM
Author: Cehrabehra

hopefully it pooped it out before you got rid of it LOL!!! Do you have pics of the new ring??

I asked her if she looked for it and she said she did, but it was hard to tell what was normal goat poop and what was her sapphire. Me? I would have been hosing it down because sapphires don''t dissolve, but she wasn''t up for that.

I don''t have pictures of her ring, but I''ll be visiting her in a few weeks and I''ll take some then! It''s truly gorgeous!

 

[Gypsy]

HOLY WOW!


I had NO IDEA this was going to be such a hot post.

I would love to reply to absolutely everyone... and will try to... but as a result this is going to be one LONG post.

Deco's first post (and those who agreed with it Mara, Kristy, et all) I totally GET what your saying Deco, and you know I don't deny that the stone is a large part of the issue. Because you are dead on about my issues with the asscher. However, as Cehra pointed out... I've chosen to honor my FI's feeling about the diamond. He's very laid back about nearly everything... but on this ring he's got VERY strong feelings. Stong feeling A) This is THE diamond. Strong feeling B) whatever setting I choose will be THE setting, c) that this diamond AND THE setting will forever be the only diamond e-ring type ring that I wear on my ring finger (barring unforseen loss). I made the decision that I would work within these guidelines. Is it stressing me out? DEFINITELY. But, (and while this definitely NOT the case all the time) I would rather stress myself out short term... and dissapoint him long term. There is such a light in his eyes when we looks proudly at my ring finger... it would kill something in ME to diminish that. Anxiety isn't healthy... but in this case, niether is the alternative of dissapointing him. So, as Cehra (thank you honey) said. This is the starting point.

Monarch... I too told my fiance to put all his $$ in the. We didn't know about PS then, and bought from a BM... a GREAT Bm... but the prices were... well, they were higher than what we would have paid AT THAT TIME online. But that's life. AND I was in love with a Lucida and wanted something similar. Setting was similar, thought the diamond would be too... but it isn't. And I just don't love mine either. People compliment my setting and I'm thinking, "REALLY???" It was a stock setting... is not well made and has flaws the BUG me. Still and all I've lived with it, and can live it a while longer.

KD... yeah, I've about decided on the 'save your pennies' approach until I can afford a designer I love... but at the same time... I have no idea what I'd have them make...lol. And I am planning on a honking ACA eternity band (3/4 eternity in a truffle type setting) for an anniversary and wearing it buy itself (not e-ring type so it doen't break my understanding with DF). Thank you so much for the support and for the offer of a shopping trip in the city to look at setting styles. I am going to take you up on that when the weather warms up!!

MZ-- Thank you for your story... " i'd have liked to have been wearing the ring sooner but not at the expense of not loving my ring."... that sums it up for me in a nut shell!

Cehra-- your chanelling me. Clearly. How'd you get into my brain?

And that you for all the support. This is what I REALLY want to emphasis : "I think the best way to encourage this thread is to talk about what we *want* rather than yet another butt kicking session where we're told to get off the pot and make a choice already. " I totally agree.

Galateia-- "However, for some of us it will be the 'forever' setting, with no option to upgrade or change the setting in the future. I am assuming that if I get mugged, my ring needs to be cut off my finger, or it becomes irreparably damaged somehow, FF would be willing to get a new setting. Barring that, I will be wearing my original wedding set. He has made it clear that this ring will be The Ring. (I get to pick it out, and he gets to pay for it. I suppose it's only fair that he be allowed some choice in the matter!)

It makes sense as the women in his family all wear/wore their original weddings sets, regardless of their financial ability to upgrade. (I imagine his mother could have nabbed herself a truly blingy 25th or 30th anniversary set, but that's not in their belief structure.)"

DITTO, DOUBLE DITTO. I'm so glad that someone is also in the same postion with thier DF.

Sunshine-- I'm so glad you've got that resolved and can now focus on what you want!! YAY!

Mara:" i also think for some people the search is more fun than the actual realization and i think we have a few of those types on here too. so taking 6 months or a year or whatever while talking about it all the time a huge part of the draw and it occupies a space in their life. i think it also gives them a mental justification for hanging out on PS so much!! not like one is needed of course, i mean gosh look at me... year 4 and i have no projects planned right now. whatever floats everyone's boats. i just like seeing the finished eye candy. and bottom line of course is if it's NOT fun then it shouldn't be done. so as long as it's fun, have at it!" I agree. But at the same time I love just hanging out here... and don't feel the need to justify.. if you feel differently about that, I can respect your POV.

Sumbride... for me this isn't a fashion accessory. This particular piece of jewelry is much more than that for me. So the passing of time and changing of styles... well, I won't change my ring.

Diamondfan: It DOES stress me out not to have things nailed down. I'm SUCH a control freak. I do need to take a step back, often... which is what I've been trying to do... admitedly I'm not succeeding all that well, however. I keep reminding myself that there is no rush... and that I can just live with it... but this setting is yellowing since JE polished it... and everytime I look at it I think... "that's 40-60 bucks toward a new setting, if I don't get it re-plated". Probably just flat out crazy to think that way, right? You are such a great, tasteful lady. I will take your advice and take a COUPLE of steps back and a HUNDRED deep breaths. Cause clearly, I need to.


MsSalvo.. I'm a in the same boat a bit with you on the life being unsettled part. We've just moved out here... DF's job isn't going to take a while to establish out here... so the finacial pressures are dictating a step back. And I would ADORE a daniel K-- if $$ were no option!

nejarb-- PEAR SIDES! I've seen Leon's three stones iwth those prongs in person and they are to DIE for. Don't like 3 stones with asschers for myself though.

Irinia! One cracked!!! I'm horribly clumsy too. This setting is like a mac truck... AND I have a THICK girdle thank god. WHere are the pics to your sapphires???

FG-- didn't recognize your new AV! It's not so much the cost, as the principle for DF. And my budget is... well. I'd like to stick to around 2,800 honestly. : )

... Will start another post... this one is WAY too long.

 

[Odilia]

Date: 1/31/2007 4:42:46 PM
Author: Gypsy



..but on this ring he's got VERY strong feelings. Stong feeling A) This is THE diamond. Strong feeling B) whatever setting I choose will be THE setting, c) that this diamond AND THE setting will forever be the only diamond e-ring type ring that I wear on my ring finger (barring unforseen loss). I made the decision that I would work within these guidelines. Is it stressing me out? DEFINITELY. But, I would rather stress myself out short term...

It makes sense as the women in his family all wear/wore their original weddings sets, regardless of their financial ability to upgrade. (I imagine his mother could have nabbed herself a truly blingy 25th or 30th anniversary set, but that's not in their belief structure.)'

DITTO, DOUBLE DITTO. I'm so glad that someone is also in the same postion with thier DF.

Aha. I didn't read every word of the thread and wasn't familiar with your entire situation. I definitely feel for you, because if my DH had been that attached to keeping the original, I would definitely have had huge stress! It's even going to seem a little weird when I finally get my new setting, and the family discovers that I have two e-rings! (they don't know about my other one yet) Because my family is that way too - no one ever changes their wedding sets. They kept telling me not to change my original setting.

Date: 1/31/2007 4:42:46 PM
Author: Gypsy

Cehra-- your chanelling me. Clearly. How'd you get into my brain?

And that you for all the support. This is what I REALLY want to emphasis : '... rather than yet another butt kicking session where we're told to get off the pot and make a choice already. ' I totally agree.

Yes, the "make a choice already" doesn't work for me at all. Like Cehra said, "If we just wanted something - anything - we'd have it by now!!" Similar to when you're asking opinions and some say, "you have to get what YOU like" - well, of course, but sometimes hearing opinons and getting ideas from others helps, and isn't that what a forum like this is about (at least somewhat)? Plus if we knew for sure what we wanted, we wouldn't be asking...

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 1/31/2007 4:42:46 PM
Author: Gypsy
Cehra-- your chanelling me. Clearly. How''d you get into my brain?

And that you for all the support. This is what I REALLY want to emphasis : ''I think the best way to encourage this thread is to talk about what we *want* rather than yet another butt kicking session where we''re told to get off the pot and make a choice already. '' I totally agree.

hehehe you were working and SOMEone had to!! haha!! I really hope you talk more about what you DO like, what you DO want.... I think that if you combine the aspects you *love* you''ll have a ring you love - even if they''ve never been put together quite your way before

 

[Mara]

gypsy for the record, i have no need to justify anything (which was kind of my point about me being here so long), though i definitely feel that some might need to have some justification so they delay projects just to have a 'reason' to hang around. but my point was i don't care nor do i think anyone needs a reason...but i think that's a real potential reason for why some might take longer than others. my thoughts anyway.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 1/31/2007 5:02:45 PM
Author: Cehrabehra

Date: 1/31/2007 4:42:46 PM
Author: Gypsy
Cehra-- your chanelling me.

I think that if you combine the aspects you *love* you''ll have a ring you love - even if they''ve never been put together quite your way before

But would it have *soul*?

I''m sorry ... that''s probably not nice to joke about it. I don''t know why I''m so needled by this today. I''m gonna steer clear, ''cause obviously it''s stirring up my own stuff!

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 1/31/2007 5:01:34 PM
Author: old-fashioned girl

Yes, the ''make a choice already'' doesn''t work for me at all. Like Cehra said, ''If we just wanted something - anything - we''d have it by now!!'' Similar to when you''re asking opinions and some say, ''you have to get what YOU like'' - well, of course, but sometimes hearing opinons and getting ideas from others helps, and isn''t that what a forum like this is about (at least somewhat)? Plus if we knew for sure what we wanted, we wouldn''t be asking...

you know what I think some of it is? Is that most of us are really excited for new rings to look at - addicted to the diamond **** so to speak.... and we get really excited to see the outcomes of these rings that people we''ve grown fond of have made. I know I go to SMTR and think ugh there''s nothing new, ugh there''s nothing new and when there is I soak it in quickly and am back to ugh, there''s nothing new.... so the thought for some of all of these projects just hanging on a decision is like come on people hurry up so I can get my fix!! LOL Not to mention the indecision may sound like whining when it really is just thinking out loud. Sometimes you need a kick in the butt, and sometimes you need some space and a sounding board. I just think we''ve had enough of the former and it''d be nice if this thread could be a sounding board for ideas!

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 1/31/2007 5:08:47 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 1/31/2007 5:02:45 PM
Author: Cehrabehra

Date: 1/31/2007 4:42:46 PM
Author: Gypsy
Cehra-- your chanelling me.

I think that if you combine the aspects you *love* you''ll have a ring you love - even if they''ve never been put together quite your way before

But would it have *soul*?

I''m sorry ... that''s probably not nice to joke about it. I don''t know why I''m so needled by this today. I''m gonna steer clear, ''cause obviously it''s stirring up my own stuff!

That''s too bad... because I''m sure you could have a lot of great ideas to contribute. You have great style. But yeah... not looking for a butt kickin'' right now LOL

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 1/31/2007 5:04:32 PM
Author: Mara
gypsy for the record, i have no need to justify anything (which was kind of my point about me being here so long), though i definitely feel that some might need to have some justification so they delay projects just to have a ''reason'' to hang around. but my point was i don''t care nor do i think anyone needs a reason...but i think that''s a real potential reason for why some might take longer than others. my thoughts anyway.

LMAO. No Mara... I wasn''t implying that YOU need to justify anything. Sorry if it read that way. I meant that you might FEEL that I need to justify. I was just respecting your opinion on that point. Sorry if it came out wrong... I''m typing between calls, emails... etc.

 

[widget]

Well, I sure don''t have this problem...in fact I wish I did. My impulsiveness, and need to "get that thing mounted NOW" has lead me to have to do a few "re-dos".

Gypsy...where is the thread where Irina''s pics suggested that the ''contender'' might make the diamond look off square? I looked for it, and couldn''t find it. I sure did like that mounting...

What about a simple pave split shank (no halo) from Leon? It would be gorgeous, classic, and definitely "life-time quality". Does anyone have an idea of how much such a mounting would cost? It might not be as awful as everyone thinks, and might not take too long to save up for!

Just some thoughts...
widget