Engagement ring - keep the element of surprise or involve her in ring design?

[The Stig]

 

[The Stig]

So the surprise proposal was a complete success. I decided to propose on Sunday evening in Cape Town. We went to a restaurant called the Bungalow which is sandwiched between Clifton and Camps Bay and has the best sunset view (Atlantic ocean to the west and Table Mountain and Lions Head in the backdrop). First we found a nice spot to watch the sunset, and I was thinking of proposing there, however the moment just wasn’t quite right. Then we sat down for the most romantic dinner on the patio outside. We drank cocktails and made out. As we are both extremely private people, I wasn’t going to propose in a full restaurant in front of so many people (yes I know you are thinking we are private yet made out in public). As things got heated quickly, we skipped desert and paid the check. We had a hot session in the elevator going up to our hotel room. I had asked them to do a turndown service and place rose petals on the bed and leave a bottle of SA’s finest wine whilst we were out at dinner. When we got to the room, I turned serious and proposed as follows. “Listen, I want to manage your expectations and want you to know that I am not ready to propose just yet. I also need to get your ring before I do. However I want to let you know that ..... blah blah blah... I want to spend the rest of my life with you..... blah blah ..... Am the luckiest guy in the world.... blah blah.. you are the best thing that ever happened to me ..... blah blah..... So now that I have told you that I am ready to propose to you. However I do need to get your ring before I do, so let me just reach into my pocket here and get it....” then I got onto my knees and asked her to marry me. She said yes!!!! She absolutely loves the ring, she doesn’t think it’s too big, the setting is exactly what she wanted (she reinforced that she would not have liked one with a donut or cathedral). She also loves the diamonds on the side of the halo. Also, that center stone has been sparkling like crazy under the different lighting conditions, and in the last few days, a number of random people have approached her to complement her ring. The only issue is that it seems as if she got her finger size wrong (she admitted she had her finger measured in a Jarrods store, and she herself was surprised that it was so large. Anyway the ring is sitting too loose now. She said she would rather just get sizing beads or a horseshoe piece inserted instead of resizing. Her rationale is that she wants to still be able to wear it when she gets pregnant and her finger swells. Thoughts?

Anyway, she admitted that I caught her completely by surprise. She said the Planned December trip completely threw her off and she was convinced I would not be proposing on this trip. She also had no idea I had the ring already. She also admitted that I nailed the proposal, she loved the fact she was surprised, feels as if the ring is completely sentimental and special because not only did I pick it out, but also because it is the exact design she wanted and the whole thing is better than she ever dreamed. She herself doesn’t seem phased that the ring is sitting so loose, but it is driving me absolutely crazy. I will be taking her to IDJ the minute we get back to NY to meet Yekuitel and Shulamit, as well as to see what they advise in terms of resizing. Just want to be clear, I was told by her BFF that her size is 5 and a quarter, that’s what she believed, and that is what IDJ produced. I suspect either Jarrod made a mistake or her finger was swelled up the day she got the size checked.

We had a shoot in the Garden route yesterday, so will post better pics of the ring on her finger when I get back to NY next week.

Pics just don’t do the ring justice. Hopefully the professional ones come out better

 

[Acinom]

The ring looks gorgeous on her! And what a lovely and sweet proposal. Congrats on your engagement.

Does the ring spin a bit or is it so loose that she runs the risk of losing it? Sizing beads could help, but it is indeed wise to ask the professionals at IDJ.

 

[The Stig]

The ring looks gorgeous on her! And what a lovely and sweet proposal. Congrats on your engagement.

Does the ring spin a bit or is it so loose that she runs the risk of losing it? Sizing beads could help, but it is indeed wise to ask the professionals at IDJ.

Yeah it spins and falls to the side. Luckily she has large knuckles, so that ring is not going to fall off on its own. It took some effort to get it over the knuckles.

 

[Wewechew]

The ring looks beautiful on her finger!

I would go with sizing beads. She may need the bigger size when she adds a wedding band to her finger.

 

[whitewave]

Best wishes! Great story and the ring is gorgeous.

 

[Acinom]

If she needs this size to get it over her knuckles, I would get sizing beads. And it might spin less when she adds a wedding ring.

 

[Weecam]

Congratulations! The ring is gorgeous!!
Looking forward to more pictures.

 

[lovedogs]

Omg yayyyyyy!!!!! Huge congrats!

 

[Krisking]

Great job on the ring and proposal!!



If it takes a bit to get it over the knuckle (not impossible but briefly effortful/uncomfortable), it likely is the correct size and needs beads as previously said.

 

[kah42]

Congratulations!!! Beautiful ring and great job on the proposal

 

[holeydonut]

Congrats Stig! Your proposal idea in Cape Town was amazing, glad everything went so well!

And, the ring looks awesome!

 

[LetLoveRule]

Congrats! Gorgeous ring, enjoy!

 

[natasha-cupcake]

Congratulations! This was a lovely engagement story and thank you so much for the update. I don't like to speak for others, but I'm pretty sure most of us here are hopeless romantics at heart (in addition to being addicted to shiny metals and glittery stones). It's so lovely to be able to enjoy vicariously, your entire ring and proposal journey. Best wishes to you and the future Mrs. Stig.

 

[Lucy-In-The-Sky]

Another vote for sizing beads; I have them in all my rings and love them. (Her fingers sound similar to mine.)

Note that they come in more round pellet-style as well as flatter speed-bump style so a bit of experimentation to find what feels right to her may be called for. If you've never worn a ring with sizing beads before, it can take a day or two to get used to how they feel, as well.

 

[kindred]

Congratulations! So glad to hear that everything went well and that that she loves the ring. It sounds like sizing beads would be the best solution for the spinning. Wish I had small fingers. The rock looks huge!

 

[lynahs1295]

loved this thread and the story! so romantic and thoughtful the ring looks gorgeous on her and she must be over the moon!!

i agree with sizing beads vs sizing down...easier to stack and wear when fingers swell....congrats on your engagement and thank you for sharing your story with us!