Early pregnancy loss

[Bliss]

On another note, another faint positive today... GAH.

I''m calling the doctor for a follow-up. It''s been 5 weeks to the day and I''m still getting these positives, though faint. I thought they were getting fainter but today it''s the same. Grrrr. My HCG apparently likes to hover around 25.

I can''t wait for my BFN... please send dust! AF is still on vacation somewhere; she''s probably in Hawaii right now getting a tan. And she''s not picking up her Blackberry.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Noelwr, Sorry Holland sucks for healthcare front, but you just made me crack up (like out loud

) at work. Maybe you should just call and say you''re sying to get an appt

Seriously though, I hope the pill works for you and you can continue to heal!

Bliss-You are so funny. I love the stack of HPTs and hope that you get a BFN soon! Your AF needs to ditch her Hawian vaca and get herself and her blackberry on a plane back to slushy, cold NYC ASAP!

 

[luvinlife]

Date: 1/6/2010 12:15:52 PM
Author: Bliss
On another note, another faint positive today... GAH.

I''m calling the doctor for a follow-up. It''s been 5 weeks to the day and I''m still getting these positives, though faint. I thought they were getting fainter but today it''s the same. Grrrr. My HCG apparently likes to hover around 25.

I can''t wait for my BFN... please send dust! AF is still on vacation somewhere; she''s probably in Hawaii right now getting a tan. And she''s not picking up her Blackberry.

Bliss,

I am sending you a ton of AF dust. If she tanning in Hawaii, I am jealous, as I freezing in Upstate NY.
Also, I read that Misoprostol did not work for you. When I was a student I worked for well known infertility center in Virginia. A physician that I was working with conducted research on why Misoprostol works on some women and not on others after a m/c. Some of the conclusions were 1)the pregnancy was more advanced than expected 2)the mother had a decreased number of the progestrone carriers therefore the Misoprostol could not work effectively.

Here''s a boat full of dust

Peace, love, and smiles,

Luvinlife.

 

[Bliss]

Date: 1/6/2010 12:54:10 PM
Author: luvinlife

Date: 1/6/2010 12:15:52 PM

Author: Bliss

On another note, another faint positive today... GAH.


I'm calling the doctor for a follow-up. It's been 5 weeks to the day and I'm still getting these positives, though faint. I thought they were getting fainter but today it's the same. Grrrr. My HCG apparently likes to hover around 25.


I can't wait for my BFN... please send dust! AF is still on vacation somewhere; she's probably in Hawaii right now getting a tan. And she's not picking up her Blackberry.

Bliss,


I am sending you a ton of AF dust. If she tanning in Hawaii, I am jealous, as I freezing in Upstate NY.

Also, I read that Misoprostol did not work for you. When I was a student I worked for well known infertility center in Virginia. A physician that I was working with conducted research on why Misoprostol works on some women and not on others after a m/c. Some of the conclusions were 1)the pregnancy was more advanced than expected 2)the mother had a decreased number of the progestrone carriers therefore the Misoprostol could not work effectively.


Here's a boat full of dust

Peace, love, and smiles,


Luvinlife.

Luvinlife, THANK YOU! You know, that is so interesting and will be very helpful when I go meet the OB in the future. I remember my OB telling me that my progesterone levels were very high until the end, and perhaps this is the reason. Maybe I didn't have enough carriers so my progesterone was floating around in abundance unable to lock into their little receptors? Definitely something I will bring up in the future! Fascinating stuff. I love information. Thank you.

Bella... GAH! I just called my doc and am meeting with her on Friday. The nurse said I might be pregnant again! (I am definitely not!) They just say that as a precaution. I know for a fact I am not pregnant because I have been following my levels down, plus have had bloodwork to confirm it's going down. It's not like I got to a negative and then poof got a positive. They've been positive all along and fading. I just want to make sure everything's out so that the HCG can come down to 5 or below. It could very well be that everything's clear and my body just takes forever to get rid of the HCG, but I really want to check with u/s to make sure. I've read that many women get positive readings on HPTs for several weeks following a m/c, but this will at least put my mind at ease.

Most people get their AF 4 weeks later but I'm still getting faint positives! So unfair. My main concern is that there is tissue left behind. Doubtful, but I've read that sometimes if there's tissue left over, it can lead to an infection or grow into a mass. And I don't want that! I think I'm paranoid, having read obsessively online for weeks about what to expect. I started spotting a couple of days ago so that worried me, too. No bleeding for a while and then spotting? It was bright red in the morning so that scared me, too. I'm sure it's all normal as they say. But I just want to make sure with an u/s that all the tissue is out. *sigh*

AF needs to get back to NY asap! She's been on vacation for over a month! I don't blame her for wanting to extend her vacation, but when the boss says she needs you back... she needs to at least answer her e-mails, right?

She's probably filed paperwork with HR because I keep paging her while she's on vacation. I wonder if she's met a guy???

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Bliss-Sometimes the front office people and traige nurses at Drs offices are soooooo unhelpful! Hope your appt Fri goes well.

Someone needs to tell AF that everyone is replaceable in this economy and HR will be suspending her without pay if she doesn''t get back to the office pronto!

 

[Bliss]

Date: 1/6/2010 1:25:25 PM
Author: Bella_mezzo
Bliss-Sometimes the front office people and traige nurses at Drs offices are soooooo unhelpful! Hope your appt Fri goes well.


Someone needs to tell AF that everyone is replaceable in this economy and HR will be suspending her without pay if she doesn't get back to the office pronto!

Thanks, Bella! The best outcome will be a clean u/s showing a nice, closed uterus with no tissue left behind. Funny what we end up wishing for. This time last year, I was wishing for a DBTY necklace. This year, I'm wishing for something soooo different!

Ha on Aunt Flo! You know, I hate to spread gossip on PS...but I think she met a guy. I mean, look at her. If you took away the glasses and gave her a new hairstyle, she'd be a total hottie. I think she went to Hawaii, ditched the glasses, got herself a new 'do...and met a man!!!

Maybe she's never coming back!!!

 

[cara]

Oh, my, bliss! I am sorry you are still dealing but so glad you sound like you have your spirits back!! And I know it sucks for you to be waiting, waiting for pregnancy aftereffects to be over. I was anxious nelly too but basically reading about other women's experiences did help me understand - it is common for it to take awhile for things to go back to normal. And keep going to the doctors to ask questions, but know that a lot of it is *time*. Also, AFTER your levels drop you might have something of a cycle before getting your period. Could be ovulatory or anovulatory. So really, you want your POAS to go blank, blood tests show no pregnancy, and then start your worldwide search with orders for Aunt Flo to return in a couple of weeks! What a riot. Anyway, I'm rooting for you and your hubby, and for your darn body to cooperate with its recovery.

 

[somethingshiny]

Bliss~ More dust for a BFN!

 

[Bliss]

cara, thanks! I do feel so much better now. I guess all of this is normal and I can't wait until Friday to make sure. I think the HPT results are going down. Tested three times today, anxious for the line to get fainter. I know, crazy. I think it may be my imagination, but they are getting kind of less prominent... could also be because the potency is decreasing, though! I should just stick with testing with first morning urine each day and then move on mentally! Aunt Flo definitely met a man and she's not coming back for a while. I got a missed call today and I'm guessing it's her because of the 808 area code. Who else would call me from Hawaii and then hang up, right?

somethingshiny, thanks to you as well! I appreciate the dust! I hope Aunt Flo has her fling and comes back soon! She owes me a BFN!

 

[cara]

LOL Bliss, three tests per day is probably a bit much! You might just be measuring the noise from your hydration level... Try once a day, morning only for some consistency (if you are interested in such things)... and let AF know that her little fling is OK but her services are required soonish Though maybe in a few months she can take a nice looonng vakay after she checks in with you once or twice.

 

[HOUMedGal]

Blissie, so sorry your AF is MIA! So''s mine. Maybe they''ve BOTH met guys in Hawaii and have all run away together....??? LOL! It is pretty hilarious how perspectives change...back in the TTC days, we woulda been sad to see AF....but where is she now that we WANT to see her?!?!

I POAS a few days ago....the line was suuuuper faint, but then again it was an internet cheapie test and not a FRER, and I found the FRER''s to be quite a bit more sensitive than the internet cheapies when I was early in my pregnancy. I bet I''d still have a decent second line on the FRER if I did one of those...I''ll be getting a blood HCG next week (I''ll probably go get it drawn on Monday) to see exactly where we''re at. Good news is I haven''t had any bright red bleeding since last Saturday, but still occasional brownish spotting.

Bliss, let us know how your Friday appointment goes!! I''ll keep my fingers crossed for a nice low number!!

 

[noelwr]

hello again. well, I looked on some Dutch forums to find out about women''s experiences with the pills (orally or vaginally), and maybe two said it went fine and the rest said it was like the most horrible thing ever and many had to get the d&C afterwards anyway. and I know all women are different, but Dutch women are pretty tough (not myself included), so if they say it was hell, then there''s no way I''m even going to try it. so I''m back to the d&c option. however, I''m guessing the way things are going the earliest I could get a d&c is by end Jan and by then it must have passed naturally because that will be like 4 weeks after the u/s and 5 weeks after the "death".

I mean, if you don''t do anything about, your body will take care of it naturally, right?
I can''t find anywhere on the Internet that it ever mentions that the body might not do anything about it. just that the pills or d&c are recommended if you don''t want to wait.

 

[geri]

Noelwr - I really wish I had some helpful input for you but I Just wanted to say I''m so sorry that you don''t have a clear and finite path through this. You seem incredibly strong and pragmatic but I really feel for you and hope you get the support you need through this time.

 

[cara]

noel- i think there are some situations where medical intervention is warranted. Obviously your doctor can advise, but extended bleeding might mean there are placental cells multiplying somewhere and pumping out hormones that keep your body in a perpetual state of maintaining the ''pregnancy''. Its best to get rid of those by some method (D&C or even chemo drugs in rare circumstance), so your body can go back to not-pregnant. Then once the pregnancy is over - no bleeding or tissue in uterus or pregnancy hormones - you also might need a hormonal kick-start to go back to a regular cycle. This would probably happen at some point on your own, but maybe if it has been a few months and no AF and you are interested in TTC, then a progesterone dose or something is in order. I think Lindsey might have had this, to get her cycling again, but that was after a full-term pregnancy.

Anyway, hopefully your body will process everything properly and you will not need medical intervention; that is what my doc said was the most likely outcome in my case (though I did bleed a bit longer than they thought) and I hope that is what your docs think is likely for your case. I say this only because I wanted to be mentally prepared for what would happen if I kept bleeding, or the bleeding got worse, or the hormones stayed high or start rising for some reason, since those experiences are also possible, but there is also some value to just trusting your body to take care of things (with some monitoring to make sure it is staying on track.)

 

[Bliss]

cara, you are right! So I tested again this morning and it's definitely more faint. It also took longer to register the second line. Whew! That is one answer... It's funny because last week the line was so dark and immediate. It has definitely halved or gotten a lot lower. The u/s on Friday will make me feel better at last!

HOU! It's true. I never thought I'd be waiting for AF with such anticipation! Ha. You're getting super faint positives, too? Isn't that a weird feeling? I agree, FRERs are amazing, aren't they? I don't know how those people make such sensitive preggo tests. The cheapies are great for random testing, too. I'll always have a special place in my heart for FRER because it was the first BFP I've ever gotten. I'm a sentimental fool!

Of course, I'll let you know how tomorrow's appointment goes! It's just an ultrasound to make sure everything is out. I have to wait longer for the blood draws. *sigh* On the other hand, I'm happy to hear you haven't had any new bleeding! Yay for that. The brownish spotting is completely normal and will probably be off and on for a while as your uterus sheds its lining. Last week I had bright red bleeding/spotting and it was so distressing so I can understand how that feels. It was only there in the morning. Whew.

noelwr, I think you should do whatever you think is best. I wonder what the Dutch women took that gave them such horrific experiences! I believe you that they are tough, but I read a lot of misoprostol stories (U.S.) and they weren't that bad. That's why I opted for it initially. Some had tough experiences if they were further along but most said it was like a bad period.

You ask if it's OK to wait indefinitely... I would say no if things don't progress at all. The question is, are you bleeding or have you bled at all? If not really, then I would guess that your cervix is probably nice and sealed. I wouldn't think you'd be in great danger of getting an infection. However, if you wait too long, it is possible. I was also concerned during my experience of waiting too long and having the old tissue cause problems later on if I left it for too long. But those are probably unfounded fears. Then again, some women miscarry naturally and it takes weeks. They are monitored by their doctors and it concerns me that your doctors are so lackadaisical about this. What to do, what to do. You must be so frustrated with your body right now. I understand that because my body just would not let go of the pregnancy with time or with medication. I guess that is a good sign for future pregnancies, but still... very difficult to bear emotionally. I am thinking of you.

geri, it's good to hear from you. (HUGS)

 

[Bella_mezzo]

noelwr, I just wanted to say I''m so sorry that health care in Holland is this frustrating! I can''t believe they''re making you wait so long for the D&C

 

[noelwr]

thanks ladies, for your thoughts. I have had no bleeding whatsoever. the doc was very clear should I start bleeding and it becomes really heavy, too painful, or I get a fever that I need to call her right away, and I''m guessing they''d send me to the hospital for a d&c. and I know that if it continues bleeding afterwards, I also need to call her. but because nothing is happening, I think I should be ok. I will make an appt for a d&C as soon as possible, but hopefully it will all happen naturally before then.

by the way, I read for a d&c that you actually have to insert one of those pills 3 hours prior so that it opens your cervix. is that true? or not?

actually, something might be happening. ever since yesterday I''ve been sore and feel bloated in the abdominal area. it''s difficult for me because I also have problems with excessive gas which affects the same area, but usually when I "pass the gas" it goes away. this has been constant and growing in intensity, but nothing I need pain killers for. no bleeding, though, which I''ve read is actually usually the first sign. keep your fingers crossed for me!

isn''t it just weird that when you''re TTC, you''re just really hoping there''s no blood and want to see a BFP, and now I''m just praying for bleeding and a BFN! do you think since my symptoms went away that I would still test positive? maybe I''ll give it a go tonight out of interest. by the way, what is a FRER?

 

[Circe]

Date: 1/7/2010 3:21:09 AM
Author: noelwr
hello again. well, I looked on some Dutch forums to find out about women''s experiences with the pills (orally or vaginally), and maybe two said it went fine and the rest said it was like the most horrible thing ever and many had to get the d&C afterwards anyway. and I know all women are different, but Dutch women are pretty tough (not myself included), so if they say it was hell, then there''s no way I''m even going to try it. so I''m back to the d&c option. however, I''m guessing the way things are going the earliest I could get a d&c is by end Jan and by then it must have passed naturally because that will be like 4 weeks after the u/s and 5 weeks after the ''death''.


I mean, if you don''t do anything about, your body will take care of it naturally, right?

I can''t find anywhere on the Internet that it ever mentions that the body might not do anything about it. just that the pills or d&c are recommended if you don''t want to wait.

Noel, I had to take both the vaginal version of misoprostol for induced delivery, then I had to have a D&E because the placenta refused to be delivered, THEN they apparently left a bit of tissue behind which complicated my periods and which we only figured out a month and a half after my miscarriage so I had to take misoprostol orally to finish the cycle off. I''m like a one-stop shop for ... well, horrid experiences, I guess. But hopefully at least some of it might be helpful.

Vaginally, the misoprostol caused really painful cramping (I don''t know if this was related to how far along I was, but it was bad enough that I quite appreciated morphine): the D&E was apparently risky for adhesions and complications and resulted in matter being left behind anyway, causing additional problems; orally, the misoprostol didn''t cause much pain at all, more or less on a par with light period cramps. If that is an option, I think that''s the path I would recommend, though of course experiences will vary.

For anyone who''s going through this, I''d recommend getting an ultrasound to be sure that the process is complete, if at all possible: a month after I thought I was okay and had gotten a clean bill of health, I started bleeding incredibly heavily and had to go through the second round of tests, diagnoses, and procedures, and it was really difficult, emotionally and physically.

Today would have been my due date, which is refreshing all of this emotionally in a way that I didn''t expect. Gah ... I look forward to it getting better, for all of us.

 

[noelwr]

thanks Circe. yes, the doc did say that if I do m/c naturally at home I still have to go in for the gyn to check that it all came out. I''m sorry that you had to go through all that not once, but twice!

 

[Bliss]

Circe, thanks for sharing your story. I''m so sorry for all that you went through. I felt awful after the misoprostol didn''t work both times. I really wished at that moment I had just gone ahead and gotten the D&C then! I read that some women have to get one anyway because the misoprostol doesn''t help everything come out. In my case, nothing came out. It was beyond frustrating and I had to wait longer for closure...feeling nauseated, miserable and very very pregnant due to the ongoing hormones coursing through my system. It was really a nightmare. Had I known all of this, I would have gotten an MVA the first day they confirmed no heartbeat. They also did so again the day of the MVA.

But that procedure was a godsend in so many ways.

noelwr, you asked if you have to insert the misoprostol before a D&C. That''s one of the things I was looking up before I had the option of a D&C. I wanted to make sure that everything was done to reduce the risks. I have read that it is a *good* thing to try to dilate the cervix before the D&C either by cream, misoprostol or other medication. Manual dilation of the cervix before a D&C, I have read, can damage your cervix and there were women who reported problems the next time they got pregnant.

The general consensus is that it''s better to have your cervix nice and dilated before your D&C so make sure you ask your doctor about it before the procedure so you take the prescription before you go in or get it there if they give it to you at the hospital. Sigh. You really do have to be your own advocate because no matter how stellar doctors are, they are so busy and sometimes they forget like the rest of us humans. I just want you to get the best care, noelwr! I am hoping your miscarriage happens naturally.

Oh and since you asked - FRER seems to be the test of choice among PSers TTC. It''s the First Response Early Response preggo test. It''s one of the most sensitive and reliable ones on the market. I have been using them to follow my levels down, making sure the line gets more faint...in addition to blood tests, which are every 2 weeks. Today I''m 5 weeks and 2 days after my MVA and I am still getting faint positives on FRER. I have a doctor''s appointment today to get an ultrasound and put my mind at ease. It can take weeks for the HCG levels to completely drop to 5 or below. But most people after an MVA or a D&C go to near zero levels about 2 weeks afterward. So I''m just going to make sure with an ultrasound; it can''t hurt to double check to make sure they got everything the first time. My HCG levels are definitely going down but not as fast as I''d like. Aunt Flo went on vacation and met a man. It sounds serious. I think she''ll be gone a while.

((HUGS))

 

[luvinlife]

Bliss-

I was actually going to recommend that you have an U/S. I am glad to see you have one scheduled. You sure are hanging on to those pregnancy hormones

Noel-
One of the medications they use for dialation prior to a D&C in the US is called laminaria (actually, it''s used world wide). I looks like match stick more or less. It is placed in the cervix to cause a slow dialation. I have heard patients say that it causes cramping when it is being inserted, but for me it was completely painless. After the inserting, cramping and moderate bleeding are often reported. I wish you the best.

 

[Bliss]

luvinlife, you were so right. I'm so glad I went to have the u/s because they found one small clot that had not passed. It was trying to but for some reason was stuck! My uterus must be some incredibly fun place to be because nothing ever wants to leave! So that was why my HCG hadn't gone to zero in 5 weeks. Go figure! It was way down but there was that last bit of tissue that was causing the hormones to stick around. So they just suctioned it out quickly and I'm home now! The doctor told me that in 2 days I should get my BFN. They gave me a ton of HPTs to check in the meantime...

You know, it's really funny how intuition works. I just knew this month I had not ovulated. I could feel it. I was waiting waiting waiting and I could just tell something was not right. Anyway, like Circe and luvinlife said, it's a really good thing to keep getting checked and listen to your gut instincts.

Hugs to you all!

 

[lili]

Bliss--
That''s great.
It''s a good thing you scheduled for this follow-up appt.
Hopefully AF is aware that her blackberry is buzzing like crazy and she''s on her way back.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

BLiss-I''m so glad that you listened to your intuition and that they got out that pesky clot. now AF can finally book her flight home

 

[somethingshiny]

Bliss~ Wow, I''ve never heard of tissue hanging on for that long! I''m so glad that it''s gone now and you should be back to normal soon. Tell Flo to quit oggling the cabana boy and high-tail it back!

 

[noelwr]

Bliss - I''m glad it''s now 100% over and you will get your BFN.

I took a HPT last night and it shows positive. so I will not bother taking another one until after the natural m/c or d&c.

nothing happening over here so guess it will be a quiet weekend.

 

[noelwr]

by the way, our fetal doppler machine came in (which I ordered before the whole missed miscarriage thing of course).

so we had fun playing around with it last night listening to our own heartbeats. it even worked on the major arteries in the neck and apparently there is one right by your pelvic bone (just make sure you never mistake your own for your baby''s).

hopefully we get to use it for its real purpose one day.

 

[Kit]

Noel, I am sorry to hear that this is taking forever for you. I can''t imagine having to wait it out like you are. I hope that the pain you are experiencing is mild, and a sign of resolution to come soon. I hope it''s nothing serious! Maybe you need to be a bit more agressive with your Dr, I know if I were in your shoes he/she''s be cursing me out as the crazy American after every call and visit.

For me, I know my cervix was dialated during my D&C but I don''t know how, I was under for everything. The whole procedure apparently took about an hour. That was the nice part, I have no memory/knowledge of the actual passing. Then again, I think it''s great that the ladies on here are asking so many questions. I was so out of it mentally, I did''t ask a single question about the details of the procedure. I never did any testing after the miscarriage, just waited for AF which came 32 days after the D&C.

Bliss, I am so glad everything is resolved now. I also feel strongly about intuition and to always listed to it, never disregard it no matter what people are telling you, be they doctors or friends, etc. It also sounds like you have your sense of humor with you, which is wonderful. I hope your AF gets her ass on a plane and shows up at your doorstep asap.

Hou, same thoughts for you. I agree, I was never so happy to have a period than the one I had after my D&C. I was so excited and I even told my Mom, and she was excited! It was pretty funny.

Circe, I am so sorry. I know you have been through hell, and you are still grieving. ((((HUGS))))

 

[Kit]

Date: 1/9/2010 8:54:01 AM
Author: noelwr
by the way, our fetal doppler machine came in (which I ordered before the whole missed miscarriage thing of course).

so we had fun playing around with it last night listening to our own heartbeats. it even worked on the major arteries in the neck and apparently there is one right by your pelvic bone (just make sure you never mistake your own for your baby''s).

hopefully we get to use it for its real purpose one day.

Noel, I really want to get one of these. I see them on eBay. Can you tell me where you got yours?

 

[noelwr]

Kit - I got mine from a Dutch website, so I don''t think that will help you.

I did pick out one of the more expensive models that they say also doctors use (not sure if that''s true), but once it picks up the heartbeat it also calculates how many beats per minute. it also has a "speaker" so that you don''t have to wear headphones and more than one person can her.