Early pregnancy loss

[Mrs Mitchell]

My midwife was very much against them, because you need some experience and training to use them reliably. You can miss the heartbeat quite easily, apparently. She begged me not to get one because my anxiety levels were high enough without that. I would have had to check too many times per hour to have even a pretence at a normal life.

That said, if you can use it correctly and your Dr / midwife is supportive, it might help, it just wasn''t for me.

 

[E B]

I am so sorry for all of your losses. It's something no woman should have to endure.

Date: 1/2/2010 11:02:56 PM
Author: HOUMedGal
So here's another question for you ladies who have survived a loss (or losses) and went on to have healthy pregnancies...when you did get preggo again, how in the world did you not worry your tail off during your entire 1st trimester?!?!

Or DID you just worry your tail off?

I worried throughout the entire pregnancy. Until 12 weeks, I barely slept I was so wrecked with worry. After 12 weeks, I was able breathe a bit easier, but still worried because I couldn't feel him. After I COULD feel him, I worried even less (esp. after viability), but still had times where I panicked if, for example, I hadn't felt him kick in ____ hours. I just wanted him on the outside where I could hold and protect him.

Worrying is normal, especially if you've lost a baby. I had two miscarriages before I gave birth to my son, so I wasn't sure what to expect with a subsequent pregnancy. Would I be able to have a healthy baby? Or would I continue to miscarry? Thankfully, the former. My son is such a blessing, and I hope I'm able to have another healthy baby (in a couple of years) but unfortunately, it won't be a carefree pregnancy.

 

[steph72276]

Date: 1/2/2010 11:02:56 PM
Author: HOUMedGal
So here''s another question for you ladies who have survived a loss (or losses) and went on to have healthy pregnancies...when you did get preggo again, how in the world did you not worry your tail off during your entire 1st trimester?!?!


Or DID you just worry your tail off?

I felt a lot like EBree just described...I was worried to begin with, then I had lots of cramping/bleeding at 7 weeks and just assumed the worst, and was totally shocked when the ultrasound revealed him just swimming away totally fine! I worried the most until 12 weeks, then breathed a little easier, but honestly didn''t fully get my hopes up all the way until about 28 weeks when I knew he could have some viability if he were born. I''m still worried and I''m 36 weeks! Like Ebree, I just want him HERE where I can see him and know everything''s okay. I think it''s totally normal to worry more after a miscarriage...

 

[ponder]

Date: 1/3/2010 5:10:01 PM
Author: EBree
I am so sorry for all of your losses. It''s something no woman should have to endure.

Date: 1/2/2010 11:02:56 PM
Author: HOUMedGal
So here''s another question for you ladies who have survived a loss (or losses) and went on to have healthy pregnancies...when you did get preggo again, how in the world did you not worry your tail off during your entire 1st trimester?!?!

Or DID you just worry your tail off?

I worried throughout the entire pregnancy. Until 12 weeks, I barely slept I was so wrecked with worry. After 12 weeks, I was able breathe a bit easier, but still worried because I couldn''t feel him. After I COULD feel him, I worried even less (esp. after viability), but still had times where I panicked if, for example, I hadn''t felt him kick in ____ hours. I just wanted him on the outside where I could hold and protect him.

Worrying is normal, especially if you''ve lost a baby. I had two miscarriages before I gave birth to my son, so I wasn''t sure what to expect with a subsequent pregnancy. Would I be able to have a healthy baby? Or would I continue to miscarry? Thankfully, the former. My son is such a blessing, and I hope I''m able to have another healthy baby (in a couple of years) but unfortunately, it won''t be a carefree pregnancy.

I know next time won''t be carefree for me either. We are actually going back to the RE this month for new RX''s and then will TTC even though my little one is only 6 months old. I don''t think I will ever be able to take any part of pregnancy for granted.

 

[Bliss]

All you ladies, you are incredible! Lots of dust to the moms to be who are sharing their stories here. Thank you so much.

HOU, I'm thinking about you. Noelwr, hope you're doing OK, too. Your mom is precious!

HOU, I'm also thinking about when to start TTC again. It varies so much! And I've been reading about women who got pregnant within 2 weeks of their losses, so I know it can happen very fast or take a long time. I've read on message boards that some women wait months to get AF back. Everyone is different, so who knows when I'll get AF? I can't even tell if I've ovulated yet and it's been 4.5 weeks since my m/c. I feel really good physically, but emotionally I find myself thinking about wanting to be pregnant again and being sad from time to time.

For now, we're just going to try to avoid TTC until the first cycle but there are definitely times when I feel the urge to TTC immediately. I go back and forth. Sometimes, I really want to take those vacations with DH. I promised him I'd go to Greece with him this year and if we're KU, it'll be hard to do that. Maybe we should do so before we TTC? But then again, I hate the thought of waiting. It's crazy how the mind goes back and forth! We should enjoy this time together when it's just us before things get baby focused. But then again, we really want to get started on a family together. What to do, what to do.

You also brought up the next pregnancy... I'm so afraid already! Even thinking about being pregnant again fills me with joy but also huge terror. I'm so afraid of miscarrying again. How do you resolve the fear? I have no idea. I feel like the joy of seeing the baby on the US will be amazing but also remind me of the baby I lost. I still remember seeing him on the monitor and though it was just a bean, I fell in love. I saw the flicker of his heartbeat and everything... I was enamoured. Now, I think I'll just be terrified and miss out on the happy moments.

And I'd be having nightmares up until the first US because of the trauma of the first pregnancy. It was SO scary and I remember being filled with anxiety waiting week after week to be scanned again, only to get worrisome news.

I don't know if I'll even tell anyone this time around if I get pregnant. Maybe I won't tell anyone until the due date! It's too scary!

 

[Bliss]

I just wanted to add, after my huge post... after a m/c is CM just all over the place?

It's so confusing! 2 weeks after the m/c I had "fertile quality" CM show up. Then a week later, same thing. Now, 4.5 weeks later...same thing! So weird. I don't feel like I even ovulated this month. It's so confusing because each time I think, "Oh, ovulation and AF will come soon." I used to be like clockwork with the CM but now all bets are off.

 

[ponder]

Date: 1/3/2010 6:56:44 PM
Author: Bliss
I just wanted to add, after my huge post... after a m/c is CM just all over the place?

It''s so confusing! 2 weeks after the m/c I had ''fertile quality'' CM show up. Then a week later, same thing. Now, 4.5 weeks later...same thing! So weird. I don''t feel like I even ovulated this month. It''s so confusing because each time I think, ''Oh, ovulation and AF will come soon.'' I used to be like clockwork with the CM but now all bets are off.

Hmmmmmm.......trying to remember those first cycles after m/c. They were longer (I have clockwork 28 cycle) and I do not believe they showed a predictable CM pattern. For those who carried longer this could be more exaggerated event especially after prolonged/random bleeding after the m/c and or D&C.

 

[HOUMedGal]

Date: 1/3/2010 6:34:24 PM
Author: Bliss

HOU, I''m also thinking about when to start TTC again. It varies so much!

For now, we''re just going to try to avoid TTC until the first cycle but there are definitely times when I feel the urge to TTC immediately. I go back and forth. Sometimes, I really want to take those vacations with DH. I promised him I''d go to Greece with him this year and if we''re KU, it''ll be hard to do that. Maybe we should do so before we TTC? But then again, I hate the thought of waiting. It''s crazy how the mind goes back and forth! We should enjoy this time together when it''s just us before things get baby focused. But then again, we really want to get started on a family together. What to do, what to do.

Bliss, this is *exactly* how I feel....I waffle back and forth multiple times on a daily basis!! I''ve tried to tell myself to just chill out and stop thinking about it because it''s a non-issue until after my first regular AF anyway (we''re avoiding until after the 1st cycle for sure, too), and like you said, who knows when that will be.....but it''s sooooo hard to stop thinking about it. Argh!

 

[Bliss]

ponder, thanks!!! It would make sense that CM would be all over the place. Glad I'm not the only one and I actually feel relieved! Thank you! I love hearing about your success story and am sending you dust for your next little one!

HOU, I know! Sometimes I'm like, "OK BESSIE LET'S GO!" Then other times, I feel like this is God's way of telling us to take more time to ourselves. Either way, even if we decided to TTC immediately, it's up to God (in my mind I guess) as to when we'd get pregnant. There's no telling how long it would take, so that's another reason why I don't want to wait too long. How is your DH on the topic of TTC? Mine is pretty much ready to TTC again whenever I'm ready. But internally, it's scary sometimes.

There are moments when I want to be pregnant asap and other times, I'm afraid that if I don't wait long enough for my body to heal I'll wind up with another m/c. It's enough to make a body paranoid! It is really hard not to get baby obsessed all over again! I agree, very hard not to think about it! Once I get online and start reading up on TTC after a m/c, I start to really miss being pregnant and want to try asap again. Then when the logic has calmed me down, I find myself unsure. After 1st cycle? 2nd cycle? 3rd cycle? Whew!

Then I read stories of women who got preggo 2 weeks after their m/c and I'm like... Wow, that would be so wonderful. Then a moment later, I wonder how that process will be - missing the last baby while celebrating the new one? Or does having a new pregnancy make losing the last one easier? It's confusing. Sigh. I really miss being pregnant and my mind and body want a baby so much!

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 1/3/2010 8:03:54 PM
Author: Bliss

There are moments when I want to be pregnant asap and other times, I''m afraid that if I don''t wait long enough for my body to heal I''ll wind up with another m/c.

Not to butt in but they do say that it''s a good idea to wait at least one cycle. My best friend is going through this right now so I''ve researched it for her. It seems like there is at least anecdotal evidence to support waiting a cycle, but I can''t find anything concrete that says to wait more than one especially for an "early" loss.

Good luck ladies! You are all so brave and I know you will all be holding squirming babies in your arms very soon.

 

[Bliss]

Date: 1/3/2010 8:36:46 PM
Author: neatfreak

Date: 1/3/2010 8:03:54 PM
Author: Bliss

There are moments when I want to be pregnant asap and other times, I'm afraid that if I don't wait long enough for my body to heal I'll wind up with another m/c.

Not to butt in but they do say that it's a good idea to wait at least one cycle. My best friend is going through this right now so I've researched it for her. It seems like there is at least anecdotal evidence to support waiting a cycle, but I can't find anything concrete that says to wait more than one especially for an 'early' loss.

Good luck ladies! You are all so brave and I know you will all be holding squirming babies in your arms very soon.

Thank you, neatfreak! It's seems so silly because we're only talking about waiting a month or two. Yet it seems so far away. I agree there's a lot of anecdotal evidence out there to support waiting at least one cycle. Why risk it, right? It's just a couple of months...

On another note, here's what I found in another article - which cites a couple of smaller studies years back.
It also mentions the lack of research on this topic:

*********************
Of the evidence that does exist, a June 2002 study in the U.S. looked at 64 pregnancies after miscarriage and found no evidence of pregnancy complications in those who conceived immediately vs. those who waited two cycles. In addition, a March 2003 study found evidence that women might have increased fertility in the cycle immediately after a miscarriage.
On the side of advising a wait, a 2005 Israeli study found that women who had miscarried faced a high risk of having a subsequent pregnancy affected by neural tube defects or congenital heart defects. The study authors recommended delaying conception after miscarriage and treating with folic acid during the wait. However, it's possible that the findings may not apply to women whose diet already included adequate folic acid and supplements prior to the miscarriage.
*********************

Of course it also depends on whether or not there were other conditions for the m/c other than genetic abnormalities - like a clotting disorder or infection that might have contributed. Most miscarriages are due to genetic abnormalities, however. It's so sad because there's nothing you could have done about it.

 

[packrat]

When I had mine, Dr said to wait until I had a cycle, and then when the next one came we could start trying again, and that''s what we did.

 

[HOUMedGal]

Date: 1/3/2010 6:56:44 PM
Author: Bliss
I just wanted to add, after my huge post... after a m/c is CM just all over the place?

It''s so confusing! 2 weeks after the m/c I had ''fertile quality'' CM show up. Then a week later, same thing. Now, 4.5 weeks later...same thing! So weird. I don''t feel like I even ovulated this month. It''s so confusing because each time I think, ''Oh, ovulation and AF will come soon.'' I used to be like clockwork with the CM but now all bets are off.

Oh girl, lemme tell ya....mine has been totally whack!! LOL. I have had more CM than ever before, some still blood tinged, some not, but definitely tons of fertile quailty egg white type stuff off and on. And I know that I was nowhere near ovulating the first couple times I noticed it cuz the HCG was still up as of last Tuesday. I''m just chalking it up to weird post-preggo hormones, and not paying much attention. Once I have that first AF under my belt I''ll probably start paying attention.

On the other hand, I have been charting my temps since a few days after my D&C, and they have steadily trended down as expected, aside from a random high temp on New Year''s day (couldn''t be related to all the alcohol I had New Year''s Eve Night, could it?!?! lol).

 

[HOUMedGal]

Date: 1/3/2010 8:03:54 PM
Author: Bliss
ponder, thanks!!! It would make sense that CM would be all over the place. Glad I'm not the only one and I actually feel relieved! Thank you! I love hearing about your success story and am sending you dust for your next little one!

HOU, I know! Sometimes I'm like, 'OK BESSIE LET'S GO!' Then other times, I feel like this is God's way of telling us to take more time to ourselves. Either way, even if we decided to TTC immediately, it's up to God (in my mind I guess) as to when we'd get pregnant. There's no telling how long it would take, so that's another reason why I don't want to wait too long. How is your DH on the topic of TTC? Mine is pretty much ready to TTC again whenever I'm ready. But internally, it's scary sometimes.

There are moments when I want to be pregnant asap and other times, I'm afraid that if I don't wait long enough for my body to heal I'll wind up with another m/c. It's enough to make a body paranoid! It is really hard not to get baby obsessed all over again! I agree, very hard not to think about it! Once I get online and start reading up on TTC after a m/c, I start to really miss being pregnant and want to try asap again. Then when the logic has calmed me down, I find myself unsure. After 1st cycle? 2nd cycle? 3rd cycle? Whew!

Then I read stories of women who got preggo 2 weeks after their m/c and I'm like... Wow, that would be so wonderful. Then a moment later, I wonder how that process will be - missing the last baby while celebrating the new one? Or does having a new pregnancy make losing the last one easier? It's confusing. Sigh. I really miss being pregnant and my mind and body want a baby so much!

Ohhhh I had forgotten about BESSIE!!! I'm totally LMAO right now!!!!!!!!! HAHA! Thanks for the laugh, friend.

My DH is pretty much the same as yours....I think if I said let's start trying right now, he'd go for it, but he's also OK waiting till whenever.

I definitely think it's best to wait till after the 1st AF, if for no other reason than dating the new pregnancy. I have no freakin clue when I'm gonna ovulate right now, and I think that not knowing would introduce so much unnecessary stress into the new pregnancy. For example, you show up thinking you're about 7 weeks preggo, but they do a scan and only see a sac with no visible embryo inside, so you start freaking out thinking you're gonna miscarry again, when in actuality, your dates are wrong and you are really only 5 weeks preggo, when a sac is all you SHOULD be seeing, and your pregnancy is going to be just fine!! I don't wanna have to go through any more stressful "watch and wait" type situations, and I think if I get preggo too quick without enough information, I'm just asking for it.

 

[Bliss]

HOU! Me, too! Lots of EWCM at random times, then it'll dry up suddenly like a false ovulation. From week to week. So wonky! And the past few nights I've been burning up like I did in my preggo days. It's very strange but I guess it's par for the course after a m/c. I just hope things go back to normal soon! I'm glad your HCG is going down. Yay! Here's to "back to normal" - a state I once took for granted!

packrat, thanks! Everyone seems to say to wait at least 1 cycle. That's what we're planning to do. It's hard mentally to wait because one never knows when AF will come. I can't imagine waiting months for AF, but if it comes to that... I guess God will teach me some patience. I definitely am lacking in the patience department. LOL

HOU, I have no idea when I'm ovulating either. And it's been 4.5 weeks! The lack of dating sounds like a nightmare. I can't imagine the stress of that all over again! Maybe AF will come in the next couple of weeks. Wouldn't that be a relief?

Oh and LOL at Bessie, too! Farmer Bliss is going to have to tell Bessie to wait. Mooooo...

 

[HOUMedGal]

Date: 1/3/2010 11:30:29 PM
Author: Bliss

Oh and LOL at Bessie, too! Farmer Bliss is going to have to tell Bessie to wait. Mooooo...

HAHA!!! Don''t worry, it won''t be long before you''re saying "moo moo, buckaroo!!!"

 

[Bliss]

Date: 1/3/2010 11:50:10 PM
Author: HOUMedGal

Date: 1/3/2010 11:30:29 PM

Author: Bliss


Oh and LOL at Bessie, too! Farmer Bliss is going to have to tell Bessie to wait. Mooooo...

HAHA!!! Don''t worry, it won''t be long before you''re saying ''moo moo, buckaroo!!!''

I won''t keep my milkin'' bucket far, that''s for sure! Bessie is looking at me as I giggle, typing this. Bessie has no idea I''m posting about him. So funny!!!! Heehee.

 

[luvinlife]

Hi Ladies,

I am sad to join this group, but so happy it is here for me chat in. I was recently pregnant with a set of high risk twins and unfortunately we miscarried at the beginning of December; we were 12 weeks pregnant. Having worked in the Obstetrics field for a long time, you never think something like this can happen to you. It¡¦s a shock when it does, but my dear husband and I are getting through it. Every day is better and better.

It has been a blessing to hear to your stories and it is great to know we are alone.

On a happy note¡K¡K.AF has come to visit (yeahhhh, the things that I will never complain about again!) and we look forward to trying again soon. My gynecologist recommended an 8 week¡¦ hiatus¡¦ before we try again. As much as I want to try as soon my menstrual cycle stops¡K.we¡¦ll wait ƒº (but well practice lots in the meantime to make sure we get it right the again the next time

).

Thanks again ladies for sharing your stories and letting me cry my tears on the other side of the computer.

Peace, love, and smiles,

LL

 

[Bliss]

luvinlife, I am so sorry to hear about your angel babies. I''m happy to hear that you are feeling better with each passing day...and happy to hear that AF came, too. I know what you mean about never complaining about AF again! You cry as much as you need to. I did and it really helped me get through the hard times and heal properly. Lots of baby dust to you. (((HUGS)))

 

[luvinlife]

Bliss,

You are a real sweetheart. I have read your posts many times over again, they are soooo heartwarming.

AF and baby dust to you too

!

Peace, love, and smiles,

LL

 

[Bliss]

Super hugs to you, luvinlife!

One thing I am really enjoying these days... is COFFEE!

The last 2 days, I POAS and the line is getting fainter much faster now. Yesterday's was very faint and today's line was so faint I couldn't even see it immediately. Last week it was immediate and pretty dark. FRER is my friend! Whew. Anyone else peeing on sticks? When did you finally get a negative and AF? I know it's different for everyone, but I'd love to hear your stories, too.

POAS today reminded me of the first time I got my BFP. It's weird going through this and remembering those moments. When I watch the pink blush register and turn into a line, I feel so different because the positive result means something completely different. Before, it was a hugely exciting event to see the line and now it's a relief to see it's getting fainter. Life is really incredible and it just goes to show that you never know which direction it's going to go. In a way, that is a really wonderful thing because so many good unexpected things happen that surprise you, too. Just a random thought of the day!

DH has been really supportive and he's eager to read and learn more about the process of what a woman goes through after a m/c. I feel good these days, though there are some sad days mixed in. I'm relieved that my body is back to normal at least externally now. Internally, it's still wonky. Almost 5 weeks and no AF! I don't even feel like I've ovulated. The good part of this is... no PMS! Haha. There's always a silver lining, right? Hope you ladies are doing better.

geri, we're thinking of you.

 

[geri]

Thankyou to everyone for their support and thoughts and to those sharing their experiences.

A week on from the miscarriage and I think I am doing okay. I think the physical part is nearly over, although I have managed to get a kidney infection which means I am still not feeling 100%. Hopefully the antibiotics will kill that off soon. I am so keen to get back into my normal exercise routine and go for a swim at the beach. Emotionally I think I am doing pretty well. Being back at work has been good because I am too busy to think about anything else.

The main thing I am trying to decide is whether to tell my mum about any of this - she is coming to visit this weekend and knows nothing about the pregnancy or the miscarriage. I am worried that if I don''t tell her and she finds out eventually, she will be hurt. On the other hand, if I tell her I worry it will upset her (and me) and I don''t really want to go backwards emotionally at this stage. Any thoughts on this greatly appreciated.

As for TTC, I think we will wait till March/April, depending on when my cycle resets itself. My OB said there was no reason to wait but I don''t want to risk it again before our wedding because I know I will worry if/when I fall pregnant again and I would hate for that to cloud our wedding.

Hoping to hear some success stories from those who are currently TTC or hoping too soon.

Noelwr - Hope you are going okay and that you are getting some resolution.

 

[noelwr]

well, absolutely nothing has happened so far. spoke to the doc, and I made an appointment with the gyn for 15th of January (they first wanted to plan me at the end of Jan) in which they will make an u/s and discuss if I want a d&c or use some pills. I told the doc that I am concerned that this will all take a long time to finally be over and that I might get an infection, and she said physically it can''t do any harm. so now I''m going to hope that it will all still happen naturally because this whole process is taking forever!

in case you are interested for anyone reading this in the future and you want to know how it affects your sex life. this all according to my doc:

for natural m/c, as long as you are not bleeding, it is ok to have sex, though more than likely it''s probably the last thing on your mind. once you start bleeding, you should stop. then once you stop bleeding after the m/c, it is ok to have sex again and start bding right away.

if you have a d&c, she recommends waiting 2 cycles (for bding, she didn''t say about just sex). it is ok to get pregnant right away as some things you just can''t plan, but she recommends letting the lining of your uterus repair itself as some of it will be scraped away.

geri - if I were you with a wedding on the way (and I''m glad you can wear your original dress), I would also wait to TTC. weddings are stressful enough! I don''t know if you should tell your mom or not. one of the things my mom said to me after I told her the bad news was "Next time you should wait longer to tell everyone" and I know she''s trying to be supportive but when I tell her about having to wait for the gyn appointment, I am sure she is going to tell me how I might get a bad infection, etc, all this stuff she doesn''t know about. so I think next time I won''t tell her until I''m in the clear. however on the other hand, MIL has been extremely supportive and I don''t feel judged by her comments, so I have no regrets telling her. is it possible to wait to tell her after the wedding, until you start TTCing again? I''m not saying you should keep things from your mom, but do think how she will make you feel (even if she means well) and if you''re willing to deal with it right now.

 

[KimberlyH]

Date: 1/5/2010 5:52:25 AM
Author: geri

The main thing I am trying to decide is whether to tell my mum about any of this - she is coming to visit this weekend and knows nothing about the pregnancy or the miscarriage. I am worried that if I don''t tell her and she finds out eventually, she will be hurt. On the other hand, if I tell her I worry it will upset her (and me) and I don''t really want to go backwards emotionally at this stage. Any thoughts on this greatly appreciated.

Geri, if your reasons for tellling your mom revolve around her and her feelings I would say keep it to yourself. Telling her because you could use the support and think she''s a person who can and will provide that for you would be a good reason.

 

[somethingshiny]

geri~ I told my mom about my first m/c right away (although she didn''t even know I was pregnant). I was glad I told her because she had 2 herself and she was the ONLY person I knew who had m/c besides me. However, I did not tell her about the others until months later. I didn''t tell MIL until years later. I don''t know that there is a right or wrong in this situation. If you need/want her support, you could tell her. If you think it will make it harder on you, you don''t have to tell her. Whatever you decide is the RIGHT decision.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Geri, I''m glad that you are hanging in there, and hope the kidney infection goes away soon!!!

Noelwr, I''m sorry things are taking so long and hope that your body goes through the natural process, or that that your dr''s appt gets here soon (I can''t believe they wanted you to wait until the end of the month...is that standard in Holland?)

Big hugs for all of you amazing brave women!

 

[littlelysser]

Hi ladies. I''m sorry for what you''ve been through. I''ve been following you guys and wishing you the best.

I''ve been where you are. I had an early miscarriage over a year ago. It was a tough time. I was much more upset that I thought I''d be. Frankly, it is just pretty awful.

In hindsight, I remember when I got my first BFP, well I was just so excited and freaked out. But I figured we''d have a baby in 9 months. As it ends up, we did not.

FWIW, I got pregnant again about four month later and went on to have my son. I''m not going to lie, the pregnancy was rough. I was very anxious through a good deal of it. So much of the naive excitement was gone and replaced with the fear and knowledge that this one might not stick either. I also had two spats of spotting and two episodes of full on bleeding, which certainly didn''t help. Anyway, like ebree, I couldn''t wait until he was born - I could touch and see that he was alright.

My son is four months old - and I must say, he is the love of my life. It may sound weird, but if I hadn''t had the miscarriage, I wouldn''t have had him. And I can''t imagine that. I''m certainly not glad I had the earlier miscarriage, but I can''t imagine life without my son...does that make sense?

As for AF, my understanding is that once your HCG level gets down to near zero, you''ll get your period. I had a natural MC with my first pregnancy - essentially it was like a super heavy and really crampy period.

Good thought to all of you!!

 

[Bliss]

geri, so glad to hear that you are feeling better and getting excited about your upcoming wedding. (hugs) I'm sorry about the kidney infection. Aren't antibiotics awful? I hope you get it all out of your system soon.

As for telling your mother, I would let it happen naturally. If you think she will upset you and set you back emotionally, it would probably not be a good idea to do so. I know we tend to feel guilty and do what is best for others, but right now - you just need to do what is best for you. Our moms love us and they will understand in the end. They just want us to be happy anyway, so even if she is hurt later... I would think that she'd understand and maybe even agree with you in the end that it was the best thing to do.

noelwr, I'm sorry to hear there's nothing going on right now. I know how hard that is because I was the same way. I hope nature will take its course and help you find closure to this painful process. Are you still having symptoms of pregnancy? That was why I decided to get an MVA in the end because I was still so nauseated and miserable. My body was still pumping out hormones and I couldn't bear it anymore. I hope at the very least you aren't suffering the way I was.

Thanks for the info on TTC after m/c. That was really helpful to read. All doctors are different, I guess. I consulted two after the m/c. One said the general rule is 3 cycles but only 1 is really needed before TTC. The other doctor told me that the body would know when it's best. They generally recommend at least 1 cycle for dating purposes and just to make sure your uterus has healed. Both docs told me that I'd be very fertile afterwards and if we wanted to wait to TTC, we should be sure to use protection. I hope they are right. But I think it depends on the woman because I've heard varying stories.

littlelysser, what a sweet post. Yours is a success story and makes me feel so much better to read it. I am so sorry about your m/c but how wonderful to conceive again after 4 months. I love what you wrote about how you wouldn't have had him if you hadn't had your m/c. My mom says that about her m/c before me.

You ladies are the only ones who aren't going to laugh - so I bought 4 packs of HPTs today. 3 per pack, so I have 12 tests! I am thinking of the long road ahead when we TTC someday. But I also wanted to have a lot of tests to monitor my levels until I get a negative. I'm thinking the next test I take will be a negative, which will be a relief. The 2 week wait between blood draws is too long, I think! I'm anxious for AF to show, but I'm thinking she won't come back for a long long time. If she hasn't come by now, it'll probably be weeks and weeks. *sigh*

Anyone else taking HPTs after a m/c? How long before it gets to a negative?

Hugs to everyone.

 

[noelwr]

Bella_mezzo - my mom was saying she was watching a program on tv and Holland has the worst medical care/doctors in Europe when it comes to babies. here if you to go your doctor and you''re not dying, they just tell you to take a paracetomol. I am not kidding. so because I''m feeling fine, they don''t see it as an emergency so they''ll just book me an appointment whenever they have time (and apparently we also don''t have enough gynaecologists either). unlike the States, they don''t take your emotions into account here. what doesn''t kill you only makes you stronger, or some bs like that.

Bliss - I''m not having any symptoms anymore, so luckily I can get through my day without being reminded about it constantly. the nausea was actually pretty much gone when I had the u/s. so don''t know if that''s because if I was still really pregnant it would have gone then anyway or if it''s due to hormone levels dropping. it''s so weird, isn''t it, that normally you''d be excited about the 2nd line on the HPT and now you''re actually hoping for it to be gone. well good luck on a BFN soon!

so I was discussing with DH yesterday, and due to timing with gyn taking so long, I am considering about opting for the medication that induces the m/c. I don''t know much about it, but I have read that it makes you really feel like crap and DH says he read that it''s like experiencing a week''s worth of natural m/c within 8 hours. I think it would be hell, but at least it would be over and less invasive than a d&c (which I''d probably have to wait another few weeks for). anyway, I still have to wait for the appointment on the 15th and hopefully the gyn can give me the prescription for the pills right away. anyone have any experience or read more about this option?

 

[Bliss]

noelwr, I'm glad you aren't feeling the symptoms so much anymore. I understand about wanting closure; for me, it was emotionally very hard to carry around the bean knowing it had passed. Some women prefer to m/c naturally, though it may take longer. We tried the misoprostol twice and it didn't work. The general dosage is 800 mcg (4 tablets of 200 mcg each) either to be absorbed in your mouth near your cheek or inserted vaginally. It's supposed to work within about 8 hours for most, though it can take longer for other women. I was within the 5% of women for whom it didn't work, unfortunately.

I've heard from friends that it is like a heavy period but can be painful with major cramping depending on how far along you are. The scariest part for me was wondering what it would be like. That's why I was such a chicken about it and took so much time off from work and called in the troops. The most important thing is to be comfortable at home with someone who can support you the whole time. Rent a lot of movies, get a heating pad, have lots of fluids handy (juice, Gatorade) and have your painkillers nearby. Also, make sure to buy really really heavy pads that you will need to wear. I went online and did research and most women recommended the kind of pads that people use for incontinence.

I know your doctor will probably give you more advice, but the major things to watch out for are heavy bleeding (soaking through more than 1 pad an hour) and fever. If you have either, you should call your doctor right away. One could signal too much blood loss and they'll need to stop it at the hospital and the other could signal an infection. Don't worry because it's rare but I just thought you should know what to look out for because your health is important. (hugs) Also, your description of doctors there and how uncaring they are scared me! We're here for you if you have any more questions!

Almost all the doctors I talked to recommend trying the medical management of a m/c before a D&C. There are fewer risks to your health and to your future fertility. Also, you don't have to have surgery...which while minor, is still invasive. If you don't want to wait, I would give the misoprostol a try. It can't hurt and for 95 percent or so of women, it works.

In the end...It's OK to want this process to be over as quickly as possible so you can fully grieve and start to move on. Whatever you're feeling, it's OK. It's natural. Hope you are doing nice things for yourself and let us know if we can be of any help, noelwr!