Downsizing an Engagement Ring: Worth it or Not

[DiamondsNPearls]

I know I posted this before, but I need to know if it's a bad idea or not? My fiance got my engagement ring specially done in his hometown of Bogotá, Colombia earlier this year (which is famous for it's emerald gemstones). We are going there in two weeks & the jeweler is a family friend of ours. I don't want to insult his beautiful work, but I wonder if it would be bad to downsize to a .50-.75 carat, or if I should purchase the diamond myself from BlueNile. My fiance doesn't know & of course, I love the ring & DO NOT want to offend him.

But we are Latinos & in our culture, big flashy diamonds are not very "in style", if you have a diamond ring, it's assumed that your engaged to an American. The diamond is beautiful, but it makes me a tad self-conscious, even in front of family/friends, since most of them are other Latinos w/ either gold/silver wedding bands and nothing more.

I really don't want to insult our jewler, so I am considering taking it to an independent jewler over there in Colombia or over here in the USA.

I wonder how much the cost would be to downsize?

My diamond is 1.02 carats, it's a J, SI2, I would like to downsize to something between .50-.75 carats

Any ideas? No rude comments please.

 

[Niel]

You should wear what makes you most happy. If you are not happy wearing this ring I would return it if your still able.

If you are happy wearing it, just uncomfortable sometimes.... I'd get your wedding band and sometimes just leave the diamond e ring at home.

 

[kenny]

I wore a 2.25 carat for 7 years and just downsized to a 1.5.

Do whatever you want.
Just do whatever you want.
It's your life, so do what makes you happy.

 

[AprilBaby]

Do you love your ring? I think it's gorgeous. I have learned not to care what those around me think and get what I like. Will fiancée be upset? Will you need a new setting? Trust your instinct.

 

[Hera]

I wear what I like with little consideration to those around me. If it continues to make you feel self conscious, why not reset it into a solitaire. It will likely get a little less attention and may appear smaller.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

You won't be able to use that setting if you downsize. So obviously your fiance will know if you change the whole ring. If you are just going to feel uncomfortable around family during a visit, maybe you could leave the ring in a safe deposit box and just tell them you were afraid to travel with the ring.

 

[DiamondsNPearls]

Why won't I be able to use original setting if I get a smaller diamond?

 

[marcy]

Your ring is beautiful. I would do what you feel is right. Have you talked to yiur fiancé to see what he thinks? I agree a solitaire would look smaller. You could have the diamond made in to a pendant and get something you feel more comfortable wearing.

 

[lovemybling]

Your setting was made to hold your stone which say is 5mm, one carat size stone. If you are looking and downsizing to a 1/2 carat size stone, it would be about 1/2 the size of the stone in your current setting and would not fit. you would have a huge gap between the stone and the halo.

So if you want to downsize that much you would need a new setting as well.

 

[Acinom]

Sorry to hear about your dilemma.

I would consider turning it into a solitaire as the size will appear smaller. I love your current ring though... If YOU love it. Just wear it.

 

[patricias]

Congratulations on your engagement. Your ring is beautiful. In the US it wouldn't be out of place, but if it would be awkward to wear it in South America, I'd leave it in a secure place at home. When I travel, I leave my rings behind because I don't want to attract attention. As far as keeping it, your future husband did put much thought into the ring's design and construction, so in the interest of marital harmony I'd keep it. Enjoy your pretty ring and the man who took the time to design it for you.

 

[VRBeauty]

Since your center stone is set pretty high, I think it might be possible for you to put a smaller stone in that setting. You should talk to a jeweler who you trust to be sure though, and to find out what size stone would fit in there best.

I'm hardly one to give relationship advice but I don't think I'd try to sneak something like this past the fiance... chances are he will notice and you'd have a lot of explaining to do, and he'd be even more hurt than if you discuss the possibility of changing your setting with him beforehand. Surely he'd understand if you told him that you're self-conscious about the size of the center stone? Plus, if you proceed with his knowledge and blessing, you could discuss how much change he'd be comfortable with. You might end up with a much larger set of options than just replacing the center stone.

 

[maxs.memo]

I honestly feel like you need to talk to your husband about this. If my wife or fiance changed a major purchase like this behind my back I would be very upset if I wasn't consulted, especially if she wans't comfortable discussing it with me. Remember, what does the ring signify and therefore what does its alteration mean?

Honestly, if you don't find it personally distasteful, I would find a way to own up to your insecurities. It is a beautiful ring and I am sure you look beautiful with it. If you feel like you MUST change it or get a newer, more subdued ring, please PLEASE discuss it with him. Give him the ability to work with you to remedy this problem.

Include him or risk bruising his ego. Just my humble opinion...

 

[Venti25]

Why not consider changing out to a solitaire? That would remove quite a bit of the "flashyness".

Edit:

I'm suggesting it because quite frankly even if you put a smaller stone in that setting you won't notice the difference in finger presence. The halo is what is giving the ring its size in this instance not the stone.

 

[motownmama]

I wouldn't do anything rash; you might end up regretting it. Your fiancé had the ring "specially made," so I wouldn't change it. He knows your culture too, I'm assuming, and thought it was all right.He must be very proud of the lovely ring he had made! I agree to leave it at home when you travel - but put it in a safe or a safety deposit box at a bank.Just wear it when you are back in the US. I agree that after you are married you may want to wear just a wedding band and bring out your engagement ring for special occasions.

 

[ooo~Shiney!]

This may be a silly idea, but would you wear the stone as a pendant?
I LOVE mine !!!!
it has a delicate milgrained bezel and a gorgeous thin (but sturdy) chain...
or maybe keep it halo'd, like Cellentani did with hers, it's gorgeous
Then you could wear your band and keep your DF diamond close to your heart ...

Other than that, I think Kenny is right.

 

[yssie]

Why not consider changing out to a solitaire? That would remove quite a bit of the "flashyness".

Edit:

I'm suggesting it because quite frankly even if you put a smaller stone in that setting you won't notice the difference in finger presence. The halo is what is giving the ring its size in this instance not the stone.

This.
Talk to your FI.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Of course you need to talk to him. But the big thing here is, even if you trade for a smaller stone, the ring is going to appear the exact same size to other people because the halo is what they see. It isn't going to matter if you have a 1 ct or .75 stone in that setting. Seriously. The ring isn't too big in the US. Just don't wear it on the trip.

 

[bunnycat]

I saw this last night but it looks like everyone has already said what I was going to point out.

The ring is still going to take up the same amount of space on your finger if you change the center stone to a smaller one.. If you want to take the bling factor down a few notches, I agree with others who've suggested putting the stone you have in a simple solitaire. It would be the simplest and probably least expensive option, as opposed to having to sell your current stone and buy a new one. Selling a diamond is not an easy task and if you are completely uninformed about prices, you might not even get offered enough for it to actually purchase a smaller stone. That's an incredible monetary loss, not to mention a huge thing to do without you FI's knowledge.

Most people really don't look at jewelry much (even though we may think they do, or feel self conscious about something we are wearing.). Mostly jewelry doesn't even really enter their radar and so even though you yourself may think people might stare or assume something about you, unless it has already happened, chances are it's actually pretty unlikely, especially if you live in the US.

I'm just curious though (and I'm not trying to be rude when I say this but just trying to feel out the consistency here) that in your very first topic back in March, you said you always knew you wanted a 1ct stone, and then subsequent topics were all about color. Have you been honest with yourself about what's really bothering you about this ring/stone? While this is a diamond forum (and so you see a lot of bigger stones here)I don't think there's anything wrong with going with something that's a higher color and smaller stone if that's really what is bugging you. A lot of people do that. But from your various topics, I am just wondering if you have really decided what the root of the problem is. Stone size? Stone color? Finger coverage to much? I think you should talk with your FI about what is really at the root of this so y'all can make some positive progress. Until then, you may just spin your wheels with "maybes".

 

[TC1987]

Since that ring appears to have a head mounted within a halo, I expect that a jeweler could change it to a smaller head for a smaller stone. Whether or not it would look right (proportion-wise) with a smaller stone in there is another issue.

I live in USA, and jewelers charged me about $100 USD to do that. But I concur with the other posts that said that the halo will make the ring look "big", no matter what center stone.

If you can afford it, why not just buy a .45ct or .5ct solitaire from Blue Nile or Whiteflash or someplace and wear that for travel?
http://www.whiteflash.com/loose-diamonds/round-cut-loose-diamond-2983103.htm?source=pricescope

Or, as others suggested, remount the 1ct diamond in a solitaire. Then you could get some kind of colored gem put in the halo ring.

 

[TC1987]

I honestly feel like you need to talk to your husband about this. If my wife or fiance changed a major purchase like this behind my back I would be very upset if I wasn't consulted, especially if she wans't comfortable discussing it with me. Remember, what does the ring signify and therefore what does its alteration mean?

Honestly, if you don't find it personally distasteful, I would find a way to own up to your insecurities. It is a beautiful ring and I am sure you look beautiful with it. If you feel like you MUST change it or get a newer, more subdued ring, please PLEASE discuss it with him. Give him the ability to work with you to remedy this problem.

Include him or risk bruising his ego. Just my humble opinion...

Note: Insecurities may not be it at all, Max. For personal safety reasons, the OP may not feel comfortable walking around wearing something expensive and out of the norm. Wealthy = target. People have guards, and walls around their homes, and men don't let their wives and families go out with armed guards, in some places. I know people in Venezuela in the oil industry, and that's how they live.

 

[marymm]

Note: This is the OP's second thread about downsizing, and in both the only reasons she gave were personal style and cultural - no safety concerns have ever been raised by the OP.

OP - clearly you are uncomfortable with this ring - you say you do love it though, and that your husband had it specially made for you - I agree with the several other posters who have suggested you discuss this with your husband and decide the matter together. If it is the overall look of the ring you love, perhaps the jeweler can create a smaller version featuring a smaller center stone; if it is the center stone size you love, perhaps you can switch to a classic solitaire setting and use the diamonds from the first setting for an eternity-style band. In the end, only you can decide if it is worth it or not *to you* in your circumstances to downsize your ER.