Does anyone else find today's world hyper-emotional?

[Jambalaya]

I do.

I'm not sure if it's because I've had so many emotional challenges close to home for the last few years that I'm worn out, or if I genuinely think the world is too emotional these days. (By challenges I mean deaths of immediate family members and genetic illnesses that I have.)

Looking back, the first time I noticed it was when Princess Diana died. I thought it was awful that she died, and I was shocked about it. But I did not know her, had never met her, and I can't say it affected me on a deep level. I remember that the day of her funeral felt strange, but it certainly didn't depress me. Car accidents are a fact of life. As much as I thought her death was really sad, I can't grieve deeply for someone I've never met and never had any contact with. To me, doing so cheapens the actual grief that I felt for, say, my parents.

I think that hyper-emotionalism has coalesced into the situation we have today, of two main political parties and so many people on both sides hating each other. Loosening up our emotional stays - which you'd think would be a good thing - has also loosened the brakes on our less charitable thoughts about each other.

Celebrities don't help. They're the most pampered and privileged people on the planet, and yet their negativity is relentless and depressing.

Thanks to the media and to celebrity culture/social media, I feel as if it's become socially acceptable to publically breast-beat constantly about all one's emotional troubles, and the problem is that collectively, everyone is dragging down everyone else, everyone's re-traumatizing each other, and voila! - everyone's more depressed than ever!

I have three genetic mutations and I have no idea what the future holds for me. I think this world is beautiful and I'm so happy to be here. I think it's a crying shame that so many people are wasting their precious days focusing on everything that's bad. I am absolutely dreading the midterms and all the negativity that will doubtless be the fallout, regardless of what happens. If I had vacation time left, I would take a week off work just so that I could get away from all the negativity. "This country's going to hell, we're in trouble", etc. etc. We are so lucky to be here that I honestly think I'm on the verge of losing it when I hear people endlessly moaning and groaning, people who are lucky and privileged, and who don't appreciate their lives and their health.

JMO.

P.S. I think it's a pity PS allowed political discussions. The sheer number of political threads since then has been overwhelming, and people don't change their views anyway.

 

[MollyMalone]

I imagine it's likely you'll consider me "hyper-emotional," but the timing of this post -- on the heels of the shooting deaths in Pittsburgh, which you don't mention but which has prompted a number of us to express our sense of communal mourning & sympathy for those who are more directly affected -- is quite startling to me.

 

[blingbunny10]

I agree with pretty much all of this. At the same time, I know I’m wired differently to most and I think that’s a big part of it. The media sensationalism is to blame as well.

As an example, I’m always telling my husband that I don’t understand when people leave Emoji/flowers and notes or post to Facebook or hold community vigils related to far away events that really do not affect them personally. Like the Boston attacks or the shooting in Las Vegas...(These are just examples in my mind, nothing specific about these two events other than I recall people on social media and at work reacting to them) there was an outpouring of “Boston Strong!” and similar on social media and the like... It sometimes feels like a race to get more likes and shares and what have you on social media platforms. I think it’s normal to feel sympathy and shock, but I also personally sometimes feel that it’s a bit self-centered to make another’s grief and misfortune about YOU. And what does it accomplish, unless you are donating or contributing to relief or rebuilding efforts when these things happen? But I also know that many in Boston and Vegas said how appreciative they were, how they felt supported and cared for, touched, at strangers’ words... So I’ve learned to hold my tongue and just shrug my shoulders and let folks do what they do. I choose to mind my own business for the most part. I donate and contribute my time and efforts to causes and people I care about and of course express sympathy and horror at tragic events. But I don’t feel affected in my day to day life, and dwelling on the horror happening daily everywhere is no way to live, I think. Maybe some think I’m callous. But honestly, life goes on. It always does, until it doesn’t.

 

[Jambalaya]

Molly - no, actually. I just read one celebrity moan too many. Demi Moore if you must know. Don't assume you know what's going on in my mind. I've felt this way since the 2016 elections. I think the shooting is absolutely horrific, but since I didn't know anybody who died and am not connected with that community, I'm not going to have a terrible evening tonight because of it. I just refuse to waste my one precious life volunteering to feel terrible about every bad thing that happens in the world. I believe the phrase is "Don't borrow trouble." It's horrific that neo-Nazis exist today, absolutely horrific. But I'm done with sacrificing my happiness for no reason. I see people doing that all around me these days - in the media, and at work - and I think it's mawkish. Me trailing around in a depression over the shootings isn't going to help anything, is it? Plenty of bad things that affect me directly will come to me, and have come to me, and I don't need to extend those times in my life.

Frankly, I think people would be happier if they just got a grip. People are out of control emotionally; they're driving themselves insane and our society with it. Sorry if this sounds harsh but I think some people need to hear some common sense. The world has never been straightened out. Check out the first half of the twentieth century. Perhaps I'm saying that we just need to learn to dance in the rain in order to get the most out of our lives.

To quote the poet T.S. Eliot, I have seen the eternal footman hold my coat, and snicker.

I think that hyper-emotionalism is a terrible waste of your one precious life.

That's just my opinion. If you want to waste your days trailing around in despair at the state of the world, it's your right and I support that.

 

[blingbunny10]

I imagine it's likely you'll consider me "hyper-emotional," but the timing of this post -- on the heels of the shooting deaths in Pittsburgh, which you don't mention but which has prompted a number of us to express our sense of communal mourning & sympathy for those who are more directly affected -- is quite startling to me.

I don’t know that anybody thinks it’s not appropriate to express mourning and sympathy especially in an actual online community. I think we can feel horror and sympathy at many events around the world, but to be genuinely intensely and personally effected by all of them would make it impossible to live. I was trying to distinguish in my post above between normal sympathy and things on social media and celebrities as Jambalaya mentioned, which I think is what she meant as well. I don’t think anybody would disagree that the shooting and other events like it (too many in recent memory) are horrific and deserving of our sympathy and prayers.

I remember when 9/11 happened and the world’s response and I was proud of our behavior around the country. The world and country today feel very different and the response to events like these feel very different and much more self serving and self-oriented.

 

[blingbunny10]

I don’t know that anybody thinks it’s not appropriate to express mourning and sympathy especially in an actual online community. I think we can feel horror and sympathy at many events around the world, but to be genuinely intensely and personally effected by all of them would make it impossible to live. I was trying to distinguish in my post above between normal sympathy and things on social media and celebrities as Jambalaya mentioned, which I think is what she meant as well. I don’t think anybody would disagree that the shooting and other events like it (too many in recent memory) are horrific and deserving of our sympathy and prayers.

I remember when 9/11 happened and the world’s response and I was proud of our behavior around the country. The world and country today feel very different and the response to events like these feel very different and much more self serving and self-oriented.

Also want to be clear when I talk about social media and reactions I’m absolutely not talking about any of the stuff on Pricescope or being passive aggressive about any poster. I think the connections and care and friendships amongst the posters here are wonderful and I would never disparage that. I was more thinking of a couple of acquaintances I have who constantly post on social media as well as the behavior of lots of public figures and news outlets.

 

[blingbunny10]

@Jambalaya - I also think your post won’t be a popular one, but I believe that many many people around the country feel the way you do. I think it’s part of what’s ruined politics and political discourse in this country.

 

[Matata]

I remember when 9/11 happened and the world’s response and I was proud of our behavior around the country. The world and country today feel very different and the response to events like these feel very different and much more self serving and self-oriented.

There is a segment of society to which this applies. I think the majority in this country are shell-shocked (imo starting with 9/11) by the increase in violence on groups that are traditionally not such victims -- movie goers, concert goers, schoolchildren, grocery shoppers -- in essence people feel more vulnerable and scared that they are also potential victims of such violence.

 

[Matata]

I just read one celebrity moan too many.

Then perhaps you should consider exposing yourself only to those things that don't trigger you.

 

[Jambalaya]

Actually, BlingBunny, I do think that some posters here are mawkish and need to get a grip. It's so much easier to be emotionally self-indulgent rather than making the choice to be happy and make the most of your life, providing you are healthy and non-bereaved and have clothes and food and a roof over your head, and are not connected in any way with a national disaster.

And with regards to the media/social media in general, I agree entirely with this that you said:

"The world and country today feel very different and the response to events like these feel very different and much more self serving and self-oriented."

 

[Jambalaya]

Then perhaps you should consider exposing yourself only to those things that don't trigger you.

Right.

Trouble is, it's everywhere these days. That's what hyper-emotionalism has done.

 

[blingbunny10]

Actually, BlingBunny, I do think that some posters here are mawkish and need to get a grip. It's so much easier to be emotionally self-indulgent rather than making the choice to be happy and make the most of your life, providing you are healthy and non-bereaved and have clothes and food and a roof over your head, and are not connected in any way with a national disaster.

And with regards to the media/social media in general, I agree entirely with this that you said:

"The world and country today feel very different and the response to events like these feel very different and much more self serving and self-oriented."

I mean, I get that view too, though I find it a little extreme. Why care about anything then? Nothing matters and ultimately we all die. I understand what you mean about being grateful for your health and clothing/food, but it feels a bit like the “starving children in Africa” argument.

 

[Jambalaya]

People who were born around 1900 experienced the worst of both world wars. WORLD wars. Entire families of men went off to war and never came back. What would have happened if people back then had collapsed in an emotional heap instead of fighting back?

 

[Matata]

I do think that some posters here are mawkish and need to get a grip.

Some people come here because they can't or don't get enough attention outside cyberspace. Yanno, the kind who has to discuss their lack of sex lives or go on and on about a breakup and dissect it ad nauseam.

 

[Jambalaya]

My point is that people have lost all perspective. Prior generations who lived through actual wars that tore the entire world apart displayed fantastic resilience. That resilience saved future generations - i.e. us - from the ambitions of despots and madmen.

We could take a lesson from them and repay their sacrifices by being grateful for our lives and for all that's good, instead of focusing relentlessly and negatively on the bad.

People of character aren't self-indulgent with their emotions. See Elizabeth Smart. My God, what that woman went through. And yet she has not a trace of self-pity, and has worked hard at forgiving and being happy despite being dealt a terrible hand at the tender age of 14. Her speeches are inspirational.

 

[Jambalaya]

Some people come here because they can't or don't get enough attention outside cyberspace. Yanno, the kind who has to discuss their lack of sex lives or go on and on about a breakup and dissect it ad nauseam.

Very nice, Matata.

 

[Matata]

Very nice, Matata.

Don't like truth? You use this forum as a means to gather opinions and comfort about events in your life that are highly personal and emotional and comprise the majority of your posts. Your choice. Pointing your finger at others for being hyper-emotional shows a great deal of cognitive dissonance.

 

[Jambalaya]

Matata: I'm mostly talking about the collective hyper-emotionalism of today's society, helped by media coverage and moaning celebrities. I thought that was relatively clear. I certainly haven't, and wouldn't, reveal who I was talking about here when I mentioned mawkish posters, so there has been no finger-pointing from me. I also would never write something as bitchy to someone as you wrote to me. Not that I mind; it's all good. Clearly my post triggered you in some way. Sorry about that. Also, it has to be said that the instances I'm talking about are when people are so negative when talking about something that has no effect on their lives whatsoever. The things I talked about did affect my life. And man, the sex thread was May 2016. I can't believe you're still thinking about that!

And as for my threads, you don't know the half of it. If you like, I can talk about the two mutations I have that no one has ever seen before and that now have names thanks to me; about the breast cancer history in my family that goes directly back to 1850 from my mother bomp-bomp-bomp back to my gg grandma and that develops at 46 in everyone, while I am 44, and would you like to know about my latest break-up? Wealthy KPMG consultant that I met on a visit to New York City who turned out to be a married pillar of the Upper East Side community, but who, apparently, is a cheater and a swinger. Invited me to Miami Velvet. (Just to be clear, I dropped him like a hot brick once I found he was married.)

So, there's more where those threads came from. Just a warning.

 

[Jambalaya]

To be extra-clear, this whole thread has been about when people get hyper-emotional about things that don't affect them. I'm not talking about when people discuss things that are in their own lives and that therefore DO affect them.

That's an important distinction.

 

[Lisa Loves Shiny]

Then perhaps you should consider exposing yourself only to those things that don't trigger you.

@Matata - This is probably the best advice I received from a college professor. He told us "be careful what you expose yourself too" and he lectured that certain things you intentionally expose yourself to may change you or create emotional issues.

For me- I always remember that "Everyone has a story that will break your heart." So when I feel sad, or emotional I try to remember that I have no idea what someone else is going through or has been through.

 

[Matata]

Also, it has to be said that the instances I'm talking about are when people are so negative when talking about something that has no effect on their lives whatsoever.

Some of the things you mentioned above -- media, social media -- have exposed us to current events on a global scale that radio, tv, and newspapers couldn't do back in the day. We have relentless exposure to all of the tragedy playing out in the world today. I think some of those whom you refer to as hyper-emotional are suffering from sensory overload and acute feelings of lack of control and helplessness to do anything significant to counter all the sadness to which they are exposed. Some people are hyper-empathetic and do feel strong emotions about tragedies that befall others and they don't seem to be able to filter their empathy which leads them to a depressive state. I don't completely disagree with your premise, I just hesitate to paint everyone with a broad brush.

As to your other statement about your mutations etc., I could match you one-for-one but a wise woman once said:

I feel as if it's become socially acceptable to publically breast-beat constantly about all one's emotional troubles, and the problem is that collectively, everyone is dragging down everyone else, everyone's re-traumatizing each other, and voila! - everyone's more depressed than ever!

 

[Jambalaya]

@Jambalaya - I also think your post won’t be a popular one, but I believe that many many people around the country feel the way you do. I think it’s part of what’s ruined politics and political discourse in this country.

Right, BlingBunny. It's obviously not popular, with some, but I think that people should start saying it. If I was a national newspaper journalist or had some sort of platform, I'd say it there, too, but I don't. I personally, think that the collective wailing about the state of the world is just getting too much and that our entire society is getting sucked into this vortex of negativity about our world. It's everywhere. I hear it at work. I hear it from the people I try to date. I read and hear it every time I look at the news.

 

[OreoRosies86]

This is oversimplification, but I think generations of people were told "Suck it up, deal with it, therapy is weakness, get it together, keep quiet" and now we have mass shootings.

I have also found that as a general rule, it's usually the *most* emotional people who need to remind everyone how unemotional they are.

Edit: ya know, the words "coming from a place of privilege" spring to mind whenever I hear people wonder in earnest why politics or world events might affect someone emotionally.

 

[soxfan]

I do.

I'm not sure if it's because I've had so many emotional challenges close to home for the last few years that I'm worn out, or if I genuinely think the world is too emotional these days. (By challenges I mean deaths of immediate family members and genetic illnesses that I have.)

Looking back, the first time I noticed it was when Princess Diana died. I thought it was awful that she died, and I was shocked about it. But I did not know her, had never met her, and I can't say it affected me on a deep level. I remember that the day of her funeral felt strange, but it certainly didn't depress me. Car accidents are a fact of life. As much as I thought her death was really sad, I can't grieve deeply for someone I've never met and never had any contact with. To me, doing so cheapens the actual grief that I felt for, say, my parents.

I think that hyper-emotionalism has coalesced into the situation we have today, of two main political parties and so many people on both sides hating each other. Loosening up our emotional stays - which you'd think would be a good thing - has also loosened the brakes on our less charitable thoughts about each other.

Celebrities don't help. They're the most pampered and privileged people on the planet, and yet their negativity is relentless and depressing.

Thanks to the media and to celebrity culture/social media, I feel as if it's become socially acceptable to publically breast-beat constantly about all one's emotional troubles, and the problem is that collectively, everyone is dragging down everyone else, everyone's re-traumatizing each other, and voila! - everyone's more depressed than ever!

I have three genetic mutations and I have no idea what the future holds for me. I think this world is beautiful and I'm so happy to be here. I think it's a crying shame that so many people are wasting their precious days focusing on everything that's bad. I am absolutely dreading the midterms and all the negativity that will doubtless be the fallout, regardless of what happens. If I had vacation time left, I would take a week off work just so that I could get away from all the negativity. "This country's going to hell, we're in trouble", etc. etc. We are so lucky to be here that I honestly think I'm on the verge of losing it when I hear people endlessly moaning and groaning, people who are lucky and privileged, and who don't appreciate their lives and their health.

JMO.

P.S. I think it's a pity PS allowed political discussions. The sheer number of political threads since then has been overwhelming, and people don't change their views anyway.

Cool story.

 

[Jambalaya]

Matata: (I'm not using the quote function because it gets messy.)

This thread has been about people taking world events and letting them deeply affect their personal lives, to the extent that their relationships are affected, to the extent that the depress their co-workers, etc. It's about letting the bad things that happen in out in the world not only affect one's personal joy in living - which I think is a sinful waste considering how much previous generations sacrificed for our freedom. But if it only affected the given Eeyore, fine. Their choice to put on their donkey costume about world events despite them and their loved ones all being healthy and fed and despite a given terrible event not affecting them in the least. But their negativity about the world at large doesn't just affect them. It affects everyone in their household, their workplace - and in effect, it seems to have spread to the whole of society. I believe this pervasive negativity regarding the world is much responsible for the terrible divisions we see today.

I can't understand it. There is so much good in the world, and it's really easy to see it.

Personal troubles are different - it makes total sense that someone would be upset about something that affects them. I'm hugely sympathetic about people having personal troubles. I'm kind of interested in the mutation thing but don't want to pry. Are yours "new", too? The trouble with those is that no one knows what they're going to do. Is that your situation? I mean, we all react differently, but for me, I want to get the most out of my life while I have my health. It's not always easy but there's no way I'm adding political negativity to the list, and I get so fed up with hearing it. (And I have a third well-known one, too, but I'm on top of that.)

Regarding making the most of life, LisaRN upthread said (hi Lisa!) to avoid triggers, but my point is that this pervasive negative attitude about the general state of the world is just everywhere. People I date, co-workers, print media, TV media, acquaintances. Friends are OK since I don't tend to hang out with people who allow politics or distant events to wreck their emotional state.

 

[Jambalaya]

This is oversimplification, but I think generations of people were told "Suck it up, deal with it, therapy is weakness, get it together, keep quiet" and now we have mass shootings.

I have also found that as a general rule, it's usually the *most* emotional people who need to remind everyone how unemotional they are.

I'm not sure that stiff-upper-lip thing is responsible for mass shootings...

I used to be more emotional than I am now, before I went through the wringer a bit in recent years and came to appreciate the calmer times. That's how I know that letting world events drag you down to a depressive state is such a waste of time, because the bad times in your own life that actually do affect you terribly will be along soon enough.

 

[Jambalaya]

Oh - and Eliot, just to be clear, I do believe in therapy and I don't believe in the stiff upper lip. I'm talking about the waste of life and the spread of negativity when people give in to despair about the state of the world - I'm talking about the pervasive cultural attitude we seem to have cultivated today. I'm talking in very general terms about the "feel" of society and what we're doing wrong, IMO. I'm not saying that people should suck it up about bad things that have happened to them.

 

[OreoRosies86]

I'm not sure that stiff-upper-lip thing is responsible for mass shootings...

I used to be more emotional than I am now, before I went through the wringer a bit in recent years and came to appreciate the calmer times. That's how I know that letting world events drag you down to a depressive state is such a waste of time, because the bad times in your own life that affect you terribly will be along soon enough.

2nd oversimplification ahead...
Or maybe it's just that the people are tired of turning a "Life is too short" eye when it comes to trans people being killed, black people being shot, synagogues being attacked, kids being bullied and killing themselves, Nazis marching in the streets, healthcare failing our loved ones, planet-ending pollution and climate change, cost of living screwing us over, college loans crushing us in a way our parents never experienced. People are being LOUD about these things and many others because they want a better world than the one we are supposed to be smiling about now. For themselves, for their kids, for their kids' kids...

You can care about ALL these things and talk about them online, read the news, vote, and still have a happy life.

 

[Jambalaya]

Regarding your edit, Eliot: (I'm not using the quote function - gets messy):

I'm not wondering why, exactly. Clearly there are many things wrong with the world. I'm talking about people who are NOT affected spreading terrible negativity, constantly. I'm not wondering why anybody would be affected. The ones who are affected will naturally feel terrible.

Perhaps I've just listened to people at work too much. There's someone who's relentlessly political in a very negative way, and I have to work closely with him.

 

[Jambalaya]

2nd oversimplification ahead...
Or maybe it's just that the people are tired of turning a "Life is too short" eye when it comes to trans people being killed, black people being shot, synagogues being attacked, kids being bullied and killing themselves, Nazis marching in the streets, healthcare failing our loved ones, planet-ending pollution and climate change, cost of living screwing us over, college loans crushing us in a way our parents never experienced. People are being LOUD about these things and many others because they want a better world than the one we are supposed to be smiling about now. For themselves, for their kids, for their kids' kids...

You can care about ALL these things and talk about them online, read the news, vote, and still have a happy life.

These things are so terrible, Eliot. And how I wish it were true that you can care about these things and still have a happy life. In theory, yes, you can. But in reality I see/hear the very opposite all around me.