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Does anyone else find today's world hyper-emotional?

Jambalaya said:
People on here really don't like it when someone has a different opinion from the majority, do they?

I think that over-emotionalism has contributed to the terrible negativity of today's society. That's hardly an unreasonable opinion, or even a very radical one.

Yet for this opinion, I've been called weak, told that I think the world revolves around me, and received a really bitchy comment from Matata, and Eliot implied I'm not human because I don't cry for people I never knew. And her tone is also really hostile.

I mean, I don't mind. It's all good. My point is simply that's it's interesting to observe what happens when someone breaks from the crowd on here.

I bet if anyone did agree with me, they'd be too intimidated to say it! :lol:
Click to expand...

You get to share your opinion. Other people get to share their's back. I think your viewpoint is weak. Suck it up, buttercup. I'm not the emotional, hand holding type, sorry.

You start a thread, getting all emotional about other people's emotions and then get all emotional about other people not agreeing with you. You're a hyper-emotional person lecturing other people on how they should feel about things. I don't understand how you don't see it.

FTR, there is nothing wrong with being a sensitive, emotional person! It's not a personal attack.
 
Jambalaya said:
My overall point is this: I believe that we, as a society, have become mawkishly hyper-emotional, which matters because it spreads negativity and depression like wildfire thanks to the internet and results in a general downward vortex. In my opinion, that is a waste of our one precious life. Not to mention a terrible way to repay the millions of people who have died for our freedom, died so that we could be free to put our best foot forward and make the most of things instead of being shackled to a despotic regime. The scale of human sacrifice that has made our freedom possible is totally amazing, if you think about it. Millions and millions and millions of people have died for us and yet we're still unhappy.

Consider this: The fact that SO many people gave their lives for the concept of freedom, gave their lives so that the world could be free of a global tyranny, and did it for people not yet born who they would never meet, is a massive indication that human nature is overwhelmingly good.

That's just my view, and it's a generalized one.
Click to expand...

my last comment on this.....the point above is imho a large part of why people are taking the latest mass shooting so personally & emotionally even if it didn't affect them directly. how many times have we seen this meme in the past few days...it hits home for people across ages, races, religions, and political persuasion. i hope it spurs us to do more than send "thoughts & prayers"

44927099_10217084276234344_7769641244858253312_n.jpg
 
Making an observation and expressing a POV is not lecturing. People do it all the time here.

FWIW people should be able to react to any situation how they see fit. Not my business to judge. That said I do agree that society as a whole has become overly emotional and self absorbed. In my world people say - Cowboy up.

cowboy up:
  1. INFORMAL•US
    make a determined effort to overcome a formidable obstacle.
 
Last edited:
Why is empathy and compassion so hard to explain to some people?

Last week was a horrific week for our country. Many feel our country is broken. What we are seeing shouldn’t be acceptable to any of us. If it bothers you that people are discussing how they feel about these events, walk away or change the subject. Burying your head in the sand isn’t going to fix anything. Nothing we are witnessing is normal and it is upsetting.

None of us know what people we come in contact with during our everyday lives, have experienced in their lives. A little kindness and compassion goes a long way.

I don’t understand why you feel people can’t be affected by world events and still enjoy their lives. Do you think if someone says they are upset by current events they aren’t enjoying their lives? That’s a pretty big stretch.
 
vintageloves said:
You get to share your opinion. Other people get to share their's back. I think your viewpoint is weak. Suck it up, buttercup. I'm not the emotional, hand holding type, sorry.

You start a thread, getting all emotional about other people's emotions and then get all emotional about other people not agreeing with you. You're a hyper-emotional person lecturing other people on how they should feel about things. I don't understand how you don't see it.

FTR, there is nothing wrong with being a sensitive, emotional person! It's not a personal attack.
Click to expand...

Well, to be fair, you did say that you couldn't imagine being so weak. You didn't say "having such a weak viewpoint."

I haven't gotten emotional at all. When certain posters have insulted me for my opinion, my reaction has been to say in response "It's all good." That's your definition of getting emotional?

As I said, it's not about people not agreeing. It's about the insults that occur when someone breaks from the herd here. And as I also said, it's simply interesting to observe that. I'm in the PS doghouse!
 
Bluediva, I'm not sure why you have to post that huge black message. Are you saying that I don't think the Tree of Life shootings were terrible? That I need reminding?

They were horrific and I'm just stunned and horrified that such anti-Semitism exists today.

But I'm not going to pretend that I'm as affected as the Jewish community is or the local community there, or people who were there and/or knew others who were shot, or the victims' families. To do so would be hypocritical of me. Out of respect for the community that's been shattered, I'm not going to pretend that it's as bad for me as it is for them. So as horrific as I think it is, and as much as I have huge empathy for those who are bereaved today, I won't be crying at work about it, for example.
 
Interesting thread. I've been thinking back on the things "out there" that have caused me grief over the years, or at least grief that would be visible. There have been a few, although I tried to not let it interfere with me getting on with my daily life. I've always thought of myself as an emotional person, but I am less so as I age - thank you repeated losses and receding hormones. But I did not cry even when the Murrah Building was blown up. I was numb and in a bit of shock, I think. And unlike many, I never felt the need to go there and SEE it in person. Many did, but seeing it all day every day on TV was quite enough, and gave me the remove necessary to keep moving. I truly never understood why anyone would want to go there and subject themselves to such intense visuals that were quite horrific enough on TV. For me, that would have been gawking and self-flagellation. Plus nobody doing the heartbreaking work, needed me there clogging up the area. And 9/11 was the Murrah Building all over again only 1000 times worse. Again, my reaction was deep sadness after the initial shock.

Jambalaya, I think I understand a bit of what you mean, although I think public grief is real enough, and usually not virtue signaling. And there are real reasons to not be just about "don't worry be happy". We should not be unconcerned in the face of so much injustice and pain. But there really is only so much a person can endure, or do. It's why medics/teachers/social workers burn out, or become callous - there is a bottomless pit of need and you can pour yourself into it to the point that you either learn to balance it, to step back, or you die. And no, that's not hyperbole. It's why those individuals with super-permeable emotional boundaries, are in agony. You have to pace yourself when imbibing the woes of the whole world, which was something I certainly didn't have to grow up with, being before the 24-hour news cycle. And back then it wasn't considered a mark of your unfeelingness to not get totally wrapped around the axle if you didn't feel horrible and deeply about an earthquake in Chile when you were in Indiana. Nowadays I certainly get that vibe on social media - it's THE THING in the news, everyone MUST comment, or don't you CARE? And Tekate, I just saw a bit of that attitude in your comment above, the idea that if you CARE, you must FEEL the tragedy, that all tragedies are my tragedies, IF I care. Can't I care and yet not feel the full horror? How is my caring to be judged, on what scale? And I suspect if you compared the people who felt the tragedy du jour as their very own, and those who do not, at the end of the day you would see very little difference in what is actually DONE. And that's where I draw a line, if I can't help, saying I care in public is nice, but hardly a stand-in for doing something. And short of sending money to a cause (if I have the extra), or voting, or becoming that social worker or first responder, there is little an individual with a life and and a job and responsibilities can DO.

I think there are hierarchies of tragedy. I don't expect people in Canada to feel my level of grief when my whole neighborhood gets blown away in a tornado, or if my husband is murdered with a bunch of others by a gunman in a Wal-Mart (which would never happen because we never shop at Wal-Mart) - both the kinds of tragedy we are likely to see here. I'm glad if people are kind, in that situation, but seriously, I would spare another that pain. I don't need everyone to feel my pain to feel validated.

What I DO think, is that everyone is now conditioned to believe that expressing intense emotion publicly is socially acceptable. And that means ALL of them - especially the negative ones like rage, not just grief. Emotion is by definition is IRrational, and we are in desperate need of rationality if we're going to fix the problems we face instead of simply feeling deeply about them, or trying to kill them. Excess emotion - primarily fear, which is the root that is generating the anger and rage - is at the root of many of our problems. The other is conflating group with self, so that when people talk in generalities (yes they do have a place, generalities) it is taken as deeply personal and we're back to resentment and anger again.

And as an aside, but somewhat related, this just came to mind. My mom died slowly from ALS. We all knew where it would end, and I spent that whole 2 years quietly grieving yet getting on with helping her and with my own life. When she finally died, I will confess it was a relief. I could not have been one jot more sad than I had been the 2 years prior. And a few months later, I had a few people tentatively note to my face that I had not acted very sad right after her death. I confess I was taken aback. So there ARE pressures to emote publicly now. And for death at least, that sits uncomfortably with the competing idea that after a couple of weeks you're supposed to be back to "normal" emotionally. Things are a bit messed up in that regard.

Bottom line, there is nothing in human history that is "normal" about knowing every tragedy in the WORLD in real time. I don't think many of us have been able to find our footing in this brave new world. I know I have not yet.
 
Calliecake said:
Why is empathy and compassion so hard to explain to some people?

Last week was a horrific week for our country. Many feel our country is broken. What we are seeing shouldn’t be acceptable to any of us. If it bothers you that people are discussing how they feel about these events, walk away or change the subject. Burying your head in the sand isn’t going to fix anything. Nothing we are witnessing is normal and it is upsetting.

None of us know what people we come in contact with during our everyday lives, have experienced in their lives. A little kindness and compassion goes a long way.

I don’t understand why you feel people can’t be affected by world events and still enjoy their lives. Do you think if someone says they are upset by current events they aren’t enjoying their lives? That’s a pretty big stretch.
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So Callicake, you don't think our society is drowning in negativity and hyper-emotionalism? I guess since you think it's a stretch, you don't think so. Hope I've read you right. If so, you must have more cheerful, positive co-workers/acquaintances/family members. Do people around you discuss politics much? Where I am, such discussions invariably take on a very negative tone. If you're surrounded by people who can discuss the state of the world and not get into a downward spiral, then great!
 
redwood66 said:
Making an observation and expressing a POV is not lecturing. People do it all the time here.

FWIW people should be able to react to any situation how they see fit. Not my business to judge. That said I do agree that society as a whole has become overly emotional and self absorbed. In my world people say - Cowboy up.

cowboy up:
  1. INFORMAL•US
    make a determined effort to overcome a formidable obstacle.
Click to expand...

Yup. In my world, it's "get a grip." And I think social media and celebrity culture are much to blame. When a celebrity dies, there's a crazy rush among them to be seen piously outdoing each other with their sorrow on Twitter. I'm never sure how much is real and how much is done for image's sake. Kim Cattrall called out Sarah Jessica Parker for precisely this when SJP offered public condolences. Of course, had it been genuine, she would have reached out privately. Kim made short shrift of SJP's attempt to look good.

Look, in general, there's a LOT of virtue-signaling and fake emotion around, and my bullsh*t antennae always go up when I see people being so emotional over something that has virtually nothing to do with them. Is it real, or is it to make themselves look like a wonderful person? I ask myself that question, is all I'm saying.

Perhaps it's difficult for me because I'm not bothered particularly bothered about coming across to others as a wonderful person. I know what's in my heart, and how sorry I feel for the bereaved and for the Jewish community as a whole. But I have not lost anyone and I'm not going to cry as if I did. By my lights, that would make me a hypocrite.
 
Even though I don’t feel as deeply as others, it’s not my place to judge how others feel or choose to grieve.
 
Ksinger, I love your post. You have expressed so much more elegantly and articulately what I mean to say.

I'm really sorry about your mom. That sounds like it was a long, hard road.
 
chrono said:
Even though I don’t feel as deeply as others, it’s not my place to judge how others feel or choose to grieve.
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When society is being dragged into a never-ending spiral of negativity, I think it's good to judge fake emotion and virtue-signaling. JMO.
 
Jambalaya said:
When society is being dragged into a never-ending spiral of negativity, I think it's good to judge fake emotion and virtue-signaling. JMO.
Click to expand...

How do you do that? And why is it good to do that? Does it accomplish something?
 
Jambalaya said:
When society is being dragged into a never-ending spiral of negativity, I think it's good to judge fake emotion and virtue-signaling. JMO.
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I don't like to judge other people too much but that doesn't mean I can't be skeptical of their motives but why should I? They are the ones who have to answer to themselves are they doing such and such just to be seen doing it or are they truly expressing caring to those in need. I don't know or care much about their motives until it affects me personally. To each his own as @Tekate's and my mom always said.

The ones who are irritating and false are those who judge others because of a perceived lack of compassion or empathy.
 
@ksinger, Thank you for your post. Elegantly thought and elegantly communicated as usual.
 
ksinger said:
How do you do that? And why is it good to do that? Does it accomplish something?
Click to expand...

It accomplishes something if you think that calling out bullsh*t is a good thing. For example, I'm glad that Kim Cattrall didn't let SJP get away with her attempt at virtue-signaling. And how do you judge? Well, you might ask how Kim could possibly know that SJP wasn't sincere? She used her judgement is how, same as all of us do, every day, all day.
 
I's easy to micro-analyze and nitpick what someone writes, but I still think there's a lot of fake emotion and virtue-signaling around these days, and that social media has really nurtured that. And I do think it's hypocritical to pretend you're as affected as members of an attacked community are. Like ksinger said,

And back then it wasn't considered a mark of your unfeelingness to not get totally wrapped around the axle if you didn't feel horrible and deeply about an earthquake in Chile when you were in Indiana. Nowadays I certainly get that vibe on social media - it's THE THING in the news, everyone MUST comment, or don't you CARE?

and

I think there are hierarchies of tragedy. I don't expect people in Canada to feel my level of grief when my whole neighborhood gets blown away in a tornado,

I just re-read and saw that vintageloves wrote "Suck it up, buttercup."

I'm not really sure what I'm meant to be sucking up, but OK.
 
All of us are at risk of compassion fatigue. Turning off or dimming emotional responses due to continuous bombardment of bad/sad news is a coping strategy. Expressing strong emotion either in situations that personally affect an individual and when situations don't personally affect an individual is also a coping strategy. When people react emotionally to a situation, it is unlikely that the response is 100% to that situation. Tragedy experienced by others usually brings up some personal issues from the past, resolved and unresolved, on the part of the observer. So when people react emotionally, they are also likely dealing with their own issues relating to their own personal tragedies.

@Jambalaya, if I were, as you are, facing an unknown future due to inherited genetic predisposition to cancer and whatever else you are facing, I would also be starving to see more goodness, happiness, and joy in the world and I would mercilessly eject from my life anything and anyone who brought in negativity. So I understand from that viewpoint, your reaction to what you see as an abundance of hyper-emotionalism.
 
Thank you, Matata. That's really kind. And good advice.
 
Jambalaya said:
Bluediva, I'm not sure why you have to post that huge black message. Are you saying that I don't think the Tree of Life shootings were terrible? That I need reminding?

They were horrific and I'm just stunned and horrified that such anti-Semitism exists today.

But I'm not going to pretend that I'm as affected as the Jewish community is or the local community there, or people who were there and/or knew others who were shot, or the victims' families. To do so would be hypocritical of me. Out of respect for the community that's been shattered, I'm not going to pretend that it's as bad for me as it is for them. So as horrific as I think it is, and as much as I have huge empathy for those who are bereaved today, I won't be crying at work about it, for example.
Click to expand...

No just illustrating the point of why things are hitting people hard.... I'm not crying at my desk but I see why people may be. I broke down in ugly tears over things happening in the world a few months ago. It was just all piling up and spilled out. I had to give myself a break from those thoughts because it wasn't good for my wellbeing. You shouldn't feel pressured to be more demonstrative or align with negativity voiced by others - give yourself space from it. But there are complex reasons that have landed us here as a society and its going to take time and work and *cooperation* to navigate through it imho.
 
If a person puts their opinion and thoughts out for public review - albeit I believe anyway that Hangout is for registered users only - then one must expect the negative and the positive. To me you think you have a valid criticism of people who seem overwrought, to me I see people desperately and sadly trying to save what they think is best for their families, country and world, one sees overwrought other sees pandamonium. Therefore you will get supporters and non supporters. Did you expect everyone to agree? People have strong feelings, emotions and thoughts, not everyone but many do. This is your view of what has happened in the USA, not others, that is just the nature of the game, life or all things.


Jambalaya said:
People on here really don't like it when someone has a different opinion from the majority, do they?

I think that over-emotionalism has contributed to the terrible negativity of today's society. That's hardly an unreasonable opinion, or even a very radical one.

Yet for this opinion, I've been called weak, told that I think the world revolves around me, and received a really bitchy comment from Matata, and Eliot implied I'm not human because I don't cry for people I never knew. And her tone is also really hostile.

I mean, I don't mind. It's all good. My point is simply that's it's interesting to observe what happens when someone breaks from the crowd on here.

I bet if anyone did agree with me, they'd be too intimidated to say it! :lol:
Click to expand...
 
What attitude? All I was saying was Newtown was a national tragedy and all Americans should feel sadness, I didn't say they should be bawling in the streets, altho people may have cried at their desks, I didn't, I was shocked. Also many people DID try to change the gun laws after Newtown and nothing happened, including me.

We have the internet today, when you and I were young kids there was none, if something horrible happened in the world we MAY have read about it in our local paper or seen it on our local tv.. today we have upfront pictures, rhetoric etc. so it FEELS closer so some people who may feel more pain.


ksinger said:
Interesting thread. I've been thinking back on the things "out there" that have caused me grief over the years, or at least grief that would be visible. There have been a few, although I tried to not let it interfere with me getting on with my daily life. I've always thought of myself as an emotional person, but I am less so as I age - thank you repeated losses and receding hormones. But I did not cry even when the Murrah Building was blown up. I was numb and in a bit of shock, I think. And unlike many, I never felt the need to go there and SEE it in person. Many did, but seeing it all day every day on TV was quite enough, and gave me the remove necessary to keep moving. I truly never understood why anyone would want to go there and subject themselves to such intense visuals that were quite horrific enough on TV. For me, that would have been gawking and self-flagellation. Plus nobody doing the heartbreaking work, needed me there clogging up the area. And 9/11 was the Murrah Building all over again only 1000 times worse. Again, my reaction was deep sadness after the initial shock.

Jambalaya, I think I understand a bit of what you mean, although I think public grief is real enough, and usually not virtue signaling. And there are real reasons to not be just about "don't worry be happy". We should not be unconcerned in the face of so much injustice and pain. But there really is only so much a person can endure, or do. It's why medics/teachers/social workers burn out, or become callous - there is a bottomless pit of need and you can pour yourself into it to the point that you either learn to balance it, to step back, or you die. And no, that's not hyperbole. It's why those individuals with super-permeable emotional boundaries, are in agony. You have to pace yourself when imbibing the woes of the whole world, which was something I certainly didn't have to grow up with, being before the 24-hour news cycle. And back then it wasn't considered a mark of your unfeelingness to not get totally wrapped around the axle if you didn't feel horrible and deeply about an earthquake in Chile when you were in Indiana. Nowadays I certainly get that vibe on social media - it's THE THING in the news, everyone MUST comment, or don't you CARE? And Tekate, I just saw a bit of that attitude in your comment above, the idea that if you CARE, you must FEEL the tragedy, that all tragedies are my tragedies, IF I care. Can't I care and yet not feel the full horror? How is my caring to be judged, on what scale? And I suspect if you compared the people who felt the tragedy du jour as their very own, and those who do not, at the end of the day you would see very little difference in what is actually DONE. And that's where I draw a line, if I can't help, saying I care in public is nice, but hardly a stand-in for doing something. And short of sending money to a cause (if I have the extra), or voting, or becoming that social worker or first responder, there is little an individual with a life and and a job and responsibilities can DO.

I think there are hierarchies of tragedy. I don't expect people in Canada to feel my level of grief when my whole neighborhood gets blown away in a tornado, or if my husband is murdered with a bunch of others by a gunman in a Wal-Mart (which would never happen because we never shop at Wal-Mart) - both the kinds of tragedy we are likely to see here. I'm glad if people are kind, in that situation, but seriously, I would spare another that pain. I don't need everyone to feel my pain to feel validated.

What I DO think, is that everyone is now conditioned to believe that expressing intense emotion publicly is socially acceptable. And that means ALL of them - especially the negative ones like rage, not just grief. Emotion is by definition is IRrational, and we are in desperate need of rationality if we're going to fix the problems we face instead of simply feeling deeply about them, or trying to kill them. Excess emotion - primarily fear, which is the root that is generating the anger and rage - is at the root of many of our problems. The other is conflating group with self, so that when people talk in generalities (yes they do have a place, generalities) it is taken as deeply personal and we're back to resentment and anger again.

And as an aside, but somewhat related, this just came to mind. My mom died slowly from ALS. We all knew where it would end, and I spent that whole 2 years quietly grieving yet getting on with helping her and with my own life. When she finally died, I will confess it was a relief. I could not have been one jot more sad than I had been the 2 years prior. And a few months later, I had a few people tentatively note to my face that I had not acted very sad right after her death. I confess I was taken aback. So there ARE pressures to emote publicly now. And for death at least, that sits uncomfortably with the competing idea that after a couple of weeks you're supposed to be back to "normal" emotionally. Things are a bit messed up in that regard.

Bottom line, there is nothing in human history that is "normal" about knowing every tragedy in the WORLD in real time. I don't think many of us have been able to find our footing in this brave new world. I know I have not yet.
Click to expand...
 
I don't call it being over emotional, I'm old school, for me its hypocrisy. All the "thoughts and prayers" don't do a thing when there is a real crisis except put the thinker/prayer out there for their narcissism dose of attention. Its notable to me that there was nothing done by the Trump administration over the detaining/imprisoning of children without their parent/s until Ivanka Trump was called out for putting out a "thoughts and prayers" comment about it. She was responded to with "Fvck your thoughts and prayers, you're a part of the Administration, DO THE RIGHT THING NOW." This, and the neighbors on their block who picketed her and Jared about it. Sometimes that is what it takes, you have to make it personal. Back when Rupert Murdoch was still married to Wendi Deng, a lot of his company's misbehavior was halted when the parents of the kids at the school her kids attended basically put the kibosh on her.

Hand wringing. Skip it.

Bless their hearts.
 
azstonie said:
I don't call it being over emotional, I'm old school, for me its hypocrisy. All the "thoughts and prayers" don't do a thing when there is a real crisis except put the thinker/prayer out there for their narcissism dose of attention. Its notable to me that there was nothing done by the Trump administration over the detaining/imprisoning of children without their parent/s until Ivanka Trump was called out for putting out a "thoughts and prayers" comment about it. She was responded to with "Fvck your thoughts and prayers, you're a part of the Administration, DO THE RIGHT THING NOW." This, and the neighbors on their block who picketed her and Jared about it. Sometimes that is what it takes, you have to make it personal. Back when Rupert Murdoch was still married to Wendi Deng, a lot of his company's misbehavior was halted when the parents of the kids at the school her kids attended basically put the kibosh on her.

Hand wringing. Skip it.

Bless their hearts.
Click to expand...

Preach.
 
It’s interesting how the same group here who chastises someone for hypothesizing about how strangers choose to show grief also chastises those who choose to share thoughts & prayers for those who are grieving, and goes even further to call them narcissistic for doing so.

The hypocrisy is laughable and disgusting at the same time.
 
I hear an echo....

as usual @the_mother_thing, you have completely missed the point.
 
the_mother_thing said:
There’s more than one point in this world, in case you didn’t know.
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Your response, which you obviously don't know, bears no relevance to the discussion except to offer from your garden of bitter pills, the same crap you always spew "blah blah blah HYPOCRISY blah blah blah THE OTHER SIDE DOES IT TOO blah blah blah". Empty rhetoric and a continuous stream of sarcasm may get you all tingly and aglow; it also gets you dismissed as a serious thinker. Go ahead now, sharpen your barbs.
 
Matata said:
Your response, which you obviously don't know, bears no relevance to the discussion except to offer from your garden of bitter pills, the same crap you always spew "blah blah blah HYPOCRISY blah blah blah THE OTHER SIDE DOES IT TOO blah blah blah". Empty rhetoric and a continuous stream of sarcasm may get you all tingly and aglow; it also gets you dismissed as a serious thinker. Go ahead now, sharpen your barbs.
Click to expand...

Clearly, YOU missed the point in your regurgitated rush to (as always) attempt to shut down an opposing view. Nothing new ... more of the same from you as well.
 
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