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Does anyone else find today's world hyper-emotional?

I read and follow the news closely, I vote, I donate my time and money to causes I believe in (such as Planned Parenthood), but so do most people. Maybe you're just immersing yourself in unbalanced perspective. Do you honestly believe the people who speak about their views at work or online are doing nothing but negatively obsessing all day?

When Newtown happened I openly wept, at work, privately and with others. It didn't directly affect me, but I cried. I feel like that's a very human thing to do.
 
My overall point is this: I believe that we, as a society, have become mawkishly hyper-emotional, which matters because it spreads negativity and depression like wildfire thanks to the internet and results in a general downward vortex. In my opinion, that is a waste of our one precious life. Not to mention a terrible way to repay the millions of people who have died for our freedom, died so that we could be free to put our best foot forward and make the most of things instead of being shackled to a despotic regime. The scale of human sacrifice that has made our freedom possible is totally amazing, if you think about it. Millions and millions and millions of people have died for us and yet we're still unhappy.

Consider this: The fact that SO many people gave their lives for the concept of freedom, gave their lives so that the world could be free of a global tyranny, and did it for people not yet born who they would never meet, is a massive indication that human nature is overwhelmingly good.

That's just my view, and it's a generalized one.
 
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What’s the alternative? To ignore the news? Ignorance is bliss mentality? Or be more like Trump and crack jokes the morning after? Yeah. I want to be like him. Want to emulate his behavior.
Your hyperbole— that those of us who show empathy are wasting our lives—leaves the door open for some of us to exaggerate what you don’t believe about empathy and compassion.
 
I have no answers. I used to be overly empathetic for almost all of my life. Then I went through a major life event years ago and now I'm quite numb instead. I feel the gut punch of the latest tragedy, but that's as far as it goes for me now. Is this what it means to be triggered? Maybe. I avoid ALL news as much as possible, but most things find me at some point. I don't think anything will change for the better, so I'd like to avoid things. I'm inconsequential to the world anyway.
 
Jambalaya said:
My overall point is this: I believe that we, as a society, have become mawkishly hyper-emotional, which matters because it spreads negativity and depression like wildfire thanks to the internet and results in a general downward vortex. In my opinion, that is a waste of our one precious life. Not to mention a terrible way to repay the millions of people who have died for our freedom, died so that we could be free to put our best foot forward and make the most of things instead of being shackled to a despotic regime. The scale of human sacrifice that has made our freedom possible is totally amazing, if you think about it. Millions and millions and millions of people have died for us and yet we're still unhappy.

That's just my view, and it's a generalized one.
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Hmm. I think we are talking about several different things that have become conflated into a single thing here. I do think there’s a difference between sympathizing/empathizing/caring and being negative/complaining/ungrateful. Recognizing, as you bring up, the many who have died for our freedoms in this country, I do think it right and just to care and yes, even be angry, when others are still being shackled and oppressed. It doesn’t mean that those people are not happy or grateful or positive. And in such cases, no, I don’t agree that people should just shut up and be grateful for what they have. Pointing out injustice and and other negative aspects of our country isn’t dwelling on the negative, it’s an attempt to work on what makes our country truly great. It’s about making sure we work toward living up to its promise.
 
Maybe people are affected because some of the issues involved do affect them personally - you have no way to know what anyone else might have lived, or what their connection to certain issues might be. You seem to be making a lot of assumptions about what should or should not affect people and how they should or should not express their feelings (and if I’m being totally honest, it seems to be an issue for you mainly because what other people are expressing is bothering you). Maybe you’d be happier setting better boundaries with those whom you perceive to be sources of negativity in your life, turning off the tv, choosing not to read celebrity tabloid interviews, and avoiding certain threads here, rather than criticizing others for essentially bumming your mood.
 
nala said:
What’s the alternative? To ignore the news? Ignorance is bliss mentality? Or be more like Trump and crack jokes the morning after? Yeah. I want to be like him. Want to emulate his behavior.
Your hyperbole— that those of us who show empathy are wasting our lives—leaves the door open for some of us to exaggerate what you don’t believe about empathy and compassion.
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When something like the Tree of Life shooting happens, I reflect a lot. I think about how absolutely horrendous the loved ones of the dead must feel. I marvel at the fact that we still have anti-Semitism, and I think about how terrible that is. I reflect on how utterly grateful I am that this did not affect me or my loved ones, and I recognize that next time, it could. I think these thoughts make me empathetic.

But I will not cry in public for people I've never met. I think at least some of that is virtue-signalling, in some people, and I'm uncomfortable with appropriating the very real grief of people who have actually experienced loss in a given tragedy. And I don't want to needlessly affect and bring down the people around me.

Of course, if I did have a connection with the community/town affected, or knew some of the people, that's entirely different.
 
lyra said:
I have no answers. I used to be overly empathetic for almost all of my life. Then I went through a major life event years ago and now I'm quite numb instead. I feel the gut punch of the latest tragedy, but that's as far as it goes for me now. Is this what it means to be triggered? Maybe. I avoid ALL news as much as possible, but most things find me at some point. I don't think anything will change for the better, so I'd like to avoid things. I'm inconsequential to the world anyway.
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Lyra, in the past, humanity has risen up and changed the world for the better. The world is SO much better now than at any other point in human history. Oh, man, it still needs a lot of work. But go back a few years and we had segregation and being gay was illegal, etc. etc. Humanity IS marching forward. Slower than most of us would like, sure, but there is a constant march toward equality in all things. Now we have marriage equality. Yes, there are those who would take those freedoms, but there are many more who would fight for them. Remember that the majority of people voted for another Democratic president, and we have just had our first black president, too. The world IS always moving toward equality. Think about the huge leaps that have been made in the last 100 years.

And you are NOT inconsequential. You are the same level of importance as every other human being - which is to say, VERY important. You have the power to make or break the day, the week, or the month of everyone you come into contact with, depending on the way you treat them. Hugs xxxxx
 
Jambalaya said:
When something like the Tree of Life shooting happens, I reflect a lot. I think about how absolutely horrendous the loved ones of the dead must feel. I marvel at the fact that we still have anti-Semitism, and I think about how terrible that is. I reflect on how utterly grateful I am that this did not affect me or my loved ones, and I recognize that next time, it could. I think these thoughts make me empathetic.

But I will not cry in public for people I've never met. I think at least some of that is virtue-signalling, in some people, and I'm uncomfortable with appropriating the very real grief of people who have actually experienced loss in a given tragedy. And I don't want to needlessly affect and bring down the people around me.

Of course, if I did have a connection with the community/town affected, or knew some of the people, that's entirely different.
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But what makes you assume that people who cry in public are not authentic? Who are you to say what emotions or memories have been triggered? And what’s more, what makes you assume others will be affected by your tears? Maybe others are a lot like you and aren’t affected by “mawkish” tears. I guess that when you believe the world revolves around you, it’s easy to make blanket statements.
 
cmd2014 said:
Maybe people are affected because some of the issues involved do affect them personally - you have no way to know what anyone else might have lived, or what their connection to certain issues might be. You seem to be making a lot of assumptions about what should or should not affect people and how they should or should not express their feelings (and if I’m being totally honest, it seems to be an issue for you mainly because what other people are expressing is bothering you). Maybe you’d be happier setting better boundaries with those whom you perceive to be sources of negativity in your life, turning off the tv, choosing not to read celebrity tabloid interviews, and avoiding certain threads here, rather than criticizing others for essentially bumming your mood.
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cmd - Not living in America, you might not appreciate the sheer scale of the negativity and hopelessness here. It's pretty impossible to get away from.
 
Nala: But what makes you assume that people who cry in public are not authentic? Who are you to say what emotions or memories have been triggered? And what’s more, what makes you assume others will be affected by your tears? Maybe others are a lot like you and aren’t affected by “mawkish” tears. I guess that when you believe the world revolves around you, it’s easy to make blanket statements.

Insult me all you like, I don't care, but I am uncomfortable when people appropriate the very real grief of others, and I'm not going to pretend I respect mawkish hyper-emotionalism when I don't.
 
I don’t meant to insult you. I’m just baffled. That’s all. It is one hyperbole after another. Have a good night.
 
Jambalaya said:
cmd - Not living in America, you might not appreciate the sheer scale of the negativity and hopelessness here. It's pretty impossible to get away from.
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I don’t think you maybe appreciate how much what happens in the US affects us here. We can’t escape American news. Your economic concerns pull our markets down with you. Your idiotic lack of banking regulations crashed the world’s economy in 2007/2008, not just your own. Your wars become our wars. Your tragedies are ours as well given the close ties our countries have. Many of us have lived in the US, have family in the US, have served in the military or have lost loved ones serving in the military in all the places you have lost soldiers in too, or have arrived as aid workers when disasters have struck. Your guns cross our borders when you choose not to regulate them (and in fairness, our marijuana crosses back over yours). Your ideas do too and influence people here, much as we might prefer that they did not. Your social and political climate so directly affects us that we watch you carefully, often in frustration as we have no voice about what you do, but will be affected by it anyway. Maybe people feel hopeless because your system seems quite broken. Maybe it’s good people can see that and are willing to become passionate about fixing it. It’s unfortunate that there are such polarized views of what that should look like. But again, you do get to control your own exposure. It’s ok to turn it off if that’s best for you. Change the subject. Tell people you don’t want to talk politics. Turn off the tv. Get off social media. It’s ok if that’s what you need. But let other people do what they need to do too.
 
nala said:
I don’t meant to insult you. I’m just baffled. That’s all. It is one hyperbole after another. Have a good night.
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Actually, I feel the way I do more because I don't feel that the world revolves around me. When something like the Tree of Life shooting happens, I'm well aware that it's not my tragedy, that this makes me very lucky, and that it could well be my tragedy next time. I'm aware of where I stop and where others begin, if that makes any sense.

Also, Nala, I think you don't live in the US? There's just a LOT of negativity here these days.
 
cmd2014 said:
I don’t think you maybe appreciate how much what happens in the US affects us here. We can’t escape American news. Your economic concerns pull our markets down with you. Your idiotic lack of banking regulations crashed the world’s economy in 2007/2008, not just your own. Your wars become our wars. Your tragedies are ours as well given the close ties our countries have. Many of us have lived in the US, have family in the US, have served in the military or have lost loved ones serving in the military in all the places you have lost soldiers in too, or have arrived as aid workers when disasters have struck. Your guns cross our borders when you choose not to regulate them (and in fairness, our marijuana crosses back over yours). Your ideas do too and influence people here, much as we might prefer that they did not. Your social and political climate so directly affects us that we watch you carefully, often in frustration as we have no voice about what you do, but will be affected by it anyway. Maybe people feel hopeless because your system seems quite broken. Maybe it’s good people can see that and are willing to become passionate about fixing it. It’s unfortunate that there are such polarized views of what that should look like. But again, you do get to control your own exposure. It’s ok to turn it off if that’s best for you. Change the subject. Tell people you don’t want to talk politics. Turn off the tv. Get off social media. It’s ok if that’s what you need. But let other people do what they need to do too.
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Yes, I see. Actually, I didn't realize at least some of what you say. I idealize Canada and New Zealand as bastions of good sense and common decency.

To take a specific example, do people at your work often say hopeless and negative things about the state of the world? I'm just curious about how much of what you say above is reflected in the general discourse around you. Like, say, at a family get-together. Or what about if a group of your old friends get together?

We certainly have individuals in power who want to take hard-won freedoms of certain groups away, no question. And America is FAR from perfect. But as I said upthread, on the macro level, there is reason to believe in humanity in America still, in my view. We have had the first black president. We have marriage equality. A female candidate for president won the popular vote. That is a HUGE leap forward from never having had a woman run at all.

There is a too-slow march for equality in all things, and it's not enough, and there are people who want to stop it, but the victories I mentioned above are proof that people who want to keep others in their place ultimately will not succeed.

I think it's important to celebrate the victories, and having the first black president followed by a female candidate winning the popular vote is pretty good considering what things were like just a few short decades ago. We've come a long way. Even 20 years ago, I don't think either of things things would have been possible, and neither would marriage equality. There are reasons to celebrate even under the yoke of Trump.
 
It's pretty bizarre to judge people for crying at tragic things. I mean really, I'm at a loss with that one.

If someone non Jewish went to the Holocaust museum and cried, in your view that "cheapens" their grief when tragedy directly affects them? Did you turn to someone grieving 9/11 and say "Yeah but you didn't know anyone in either tower"?

I would say maybe this could be something for you to explore on your own and get to the root of why people's own emotional self expression bothers you so much. And maybe examine what kind of positivity being so judgemental of someone else's pain is putting into the world.
 
@Jambalaya It's early here and I have not yet had a full cup of coffee and I am not sure I am fully comprehending your post/questions so apologize if I am missing the intended meaning of this thread but I will say some of us are just more empathetic than others and some of us feel things more strongly even if they do not *directly* affect us.

To use your example in your first post I clearly remember waking up turning on the news and hearing of Princess Diana's death. I cried for a long time and felt the heartache for even longer. I did not know her personally. I did not know anyone directly affected by that tragedy personally. Yet still I felt the pain strongly. It just comes down to everyone is different but we are all part of the human condition and that is why (many of us) we feel things strongly. We are all connected. I have been on a sort of news blackout but I still know what is going on but atm I need a bit of a break from Trump the Terrible.

Each week something awful happens and I know something terrible is happening each and every moment of every day across the world. When I read/hear about it I mourn though I do not know the people directly affected personally. I "feel" their pain literally. Pain goes throughout my body. It's weird but that's the best way I can describe it. Like a heartache that runs through my whole body.

I do not judge how others feel about events as we all come from different perspectives. However I do feel one crying and feeling terribly sad is completely "normal".

It becomes important though to be able to move on and be productive (and this way be able to do something to make changes in this world for the better) and feel a sense of well being (as best as one can) and live one's life while tragedy is happening all over the world. I compartmentalize all the time. This way I can do what I can to make a difference whatever way I am able and I can also survive and still thrive and feel somewhat at peace while not shutting off my feelings. I am not always successful but I do my best.
 
Sensible response, as always, Missy.

Eliot - my point is that overall, in general, we have become ridiculously over-emotional as a society. I'm not picking out individual examples. It's the overload that I'm talking about, which has resulted in so many emotional problems in society today and resulted in the swirling vortex of negativity that we all have to listen to.

I also suspect that at least some of this emotion is virtue-signaling. You must have heard of the old phrase "crocodile tears"? It's not rational to me to be as upset about a tragedy as those are who, you know, lost someone or had their community attacked.

Look, all of this is just my opinion. I do think a bit of resilience would serve us better at this point. But that isn't a fact, it's just what I think.
 
Years ago a friend of mine was struggling with PTSD, I assumed it was from a loss of an ectopic pregnancy but she said it all started with 9/11. Which was kind of a surprise to me because this was several years after the tragedy, she never spoke about it so it seemed (at least to me) to come out of nowhere.

The reality though was that she had felt that day in a very real and personal way and just chose to keep those feelings to herself all those years and it seems the loss of the pregnancy might have triggered a downward spiral. She ended up severely depressed, I mean in a way where she could not share her feelings because they were in her words "too awful to put out in the world".

So, we never really know how an event that has seemingly no direct connection to an individual will affect them. I don't think she chose to feel the way that she felt and I certainly don't think if she could have chosen she would have opted to fall into a deep depression over it, it was beyond her control. Some people just can't help but experience life on a very deep and personal level, that is not me, however I have great respect and empathy for these deep feelers because some of them struggle more than anyone will ever know.
 
Yeah, I find your opinion really odd. People who are affected on an emotional level when national tragedies happen are displaying "crocodile tears" or being "mawkish" and "not rational" and "virtue signaling" according to you. Yet in the next breath you wish people would see what a great empathetic place the world is.

Sorry, not following. Again I think maybe some soul searching might do you good. Often the things we don't like in others are things that are actually bothering us about ourselves.

EDIT: You also say you don't subscribe to the "stiff upper lip" mentality but you think people need to be more resilient in the form of not becoming emotional in times of tragedy. I have no doubt you feel some kind of way about this but it's really not clear what exactly is bothering you.
 
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I think it's a personality thing and people tend to band together in groups. The internet makes it even easier to do so virtually, find someone who shares your views and perhaps make you feel braver in expressing them.

Aside from my ongoing issues with my deceased dog (won't get into it for mental health reasons, it's the one thing that hurts me deeply) I sometimes feel like I am devoid of emotions. I am very practical. I lack soul so to speak. I can and will feel sorry for a situation but then I will go and marinate my meat, do the laundry and bake 3 cakes because it's what needs to get done. I sometimes feel bad that I am not more sad about whatever tragedy is happening and that I am so devoted to my own lame little life.

My son on the other hand is super empathetic (too empathetic at times) and it has been an interesting journey to both respect his feelings but also teach him to stabilise his emotions and forge forward. He feels sorry for everything from the dying polar bears to the turtles choking on plastic. I have been helping him channel that emotion to more practical means i.e. we minimise the amount of plastic we bring into the home, we deal with hot and cold days and don't use the air conditioning to reduce our carbon footprint, we don't buy ice cream when we forget to bring our cups from home etc.
 
Eliot, it's quite simple, really. I think that over-emotionalism has played a part in creating the negative vortex in society in which we currently find ourselves. I'm sure you've heard of the concept of a vicious cycle. And I think that if people counted their blessings more and borrowed trouble less, they'd be happier.

That's the best way I know how to express it. It's just my opinion, and I don't expect others to agree with it.
 
But it is YOUR tragedy, it's mine, it's all people who care's tragedy. Newtown was my tragedy, I wet to high school a town away, I didn't know anyone who was killed or family's members, but I felt and sympathized with their pain, it was our pain.

It bothers you when people cry in public? We are all different. Maybe you are the lucky one who can put other's pain in a happier, easier place, that's great, but it's hard for many, my mom had a saying "There but for the Grace of God go I" that is what I live by. Some people want this madness of shootings and bombs to stop, it does't mean they are hyper-sensitive as much as they are deep feeling, maybe I shoud ask "Do you think people are faking it for attention"? if you do, that is fair, I don't think so but I don't discount possiblities, I just weigh them to myself. My mother also said: "To each his own".





Jambalaya said:
Actually, I feel the way I do more because I don't feel that the world revolves around me. When something like the Tree of Life shooting happens, I'm well aware that it's not my tragedy, that this makes me very lucky, and that it could well be my tragedy next time. I'm aware of where I stop and where others begin, if that makes any sense.

Also, Nala, I think you don't live in the US? There's just a LOT of negativity here these days.
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Humanity didn't get to where it is today by sticking our heads in the sand, ignoring "negativity," and deciding to just be happy. We have what we have today BECAUSE they strove for more. Because they fought for their beliefs. Dissatisfaction is what breeds innovations; it's an inborn trait and why you have everything you do.

You want to fly away because you can't handle some "negativity" about the midterms? In what way is that not a hyper-emotional reaction? At the very least, it demonstrations being very sensitive to a minor inconvenience in life.

My grandfathers didn't go on a vacation because they were tired of hearing about all that negative Nazi stuff that didn't really effect them. They picked up a gun and fought! You bring up the sacrifice of our forefathers, but you are not honoring them by suggesting we sit on our laurels now.

I am very grateful for what I have. I'm happy. I can also care about something other than myself and what personally effects me. One has no impact on the other. I can't imagine being so weak that I had to hide from the world's realities.
 
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People on here really don't like it when someone has a different opinion from the majority, do they?

I think that over-emotionalism has contributed to the terrible negativity of today's society. That's hardly an unreasonable opinion, or even a very radical one.

Yet for this opinion, I've been called weak, told that I think the world revolves around me, and received a really bitchy comment from Matata, and Eliot implied I'm not human because I don't cry for people I never knew. And her tone is also really hostile.

I mean, I don't mind. It's all good. My point is simply that's it's interesting to observe what happens when someone breaks from the crowd on here.

I bet if anyone did agree with me, they'd be too intimidated to say it! :lol:
 
vintageloves said:
Humanity didn't get to where it is today by sticking our heads in the sand, ignoring "negativity," and deciding to just be happy. We have what we have today BECAUSE they strove for more. Because they fought for their beliefs. Dissatisfaction is what breeds innovations; it's an inborn trait and why you have everything you do.

You want to fly away because you can't handle some "negativity" about the midterms? In what way is that not a hyper-emotional reaction? At the very least, it demonstrations being very sensitive to a minor inconvenience in life.

My grandfathers didn't go on a vacation because they were tired of hearing about all that negative Nazi stuff that didn't really effect them. They picked up a gun and fought! You bring up the sacrifice of our forefathers, but you are not honoring them by suggesting we sit on our laurels now.

I am very grateful for what I have. I'm happy. I can also care about something other than myself and what personally effects me. One has no impact on the other. I can't imagine being so weak that I had to hide from the world's realities.
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i agree with everything above but i get the complaint on virtue signaling. what is frustrating to me is hearing people complain about the state of xyz and not being willing to do anything about it. we wouldn't be in this mess in the US if people voted, only about 1/2 who can, do (and i don't mean just the current administration but the overall political seesaw we are on). or the tired old "thoughts and prayers" line after another tragedy we could do more to prevent. if we're sincere in our beliefs we can do something, even just a little something, to help.
 
Jambalaya said:
People on here really don't like it when someone has a different opinion from the majority, do they?

I think that over-emotionalism has contributed to the terrible negativity of today's society. That's hardly an unreasonable opinion, or even a very radical one.

Yet for this opinion, I've been called weak, told that I think the world revolves around me, and received a really bitchy comment from Matata, and Eliot implied I'm not human because I don't cry for people I never knew. And her tone is also really hostile.

I mean, I don't mind. It's all good. My point is simply that's it's interesting to observe what happens when someone breaks from the crowd on here.

I bet if anyone did agree with me, they'd be too intimidated to say it! :lol:
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Just imagine if I had written your post instead of you. :P2
 
Jambalaya said:
People on here really don't like it when someone has a different opinion from the majority, do they?

I think that over-emotionalism has contributed to the terrible negativity of today's society. That's hardly an unreasonable opinion, or even a very radical one.

Yet for this opinion, I've been called weak, told that I think the world revolves around me, and received a really bitchy comment from Matata, and Eliot implied I'm not human because I don't cry for people I never knew. And her tone is also really hostile.

I mean, I don't mind. It's all good. My point is simply that's it's interesting to observe what happens when someone breaks from the crowd on here.

I bet if anyone did agree with me, they'd be too intimidated to say it! :lol:
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I think what you call over-emotionalism is a symptom (but not the cause) of many, many underlying issues that have made US society more divided - I don't think we're more negative tbh. I grew up in the 80s - anti Russia sentiment, anti Japan sentiment, anti poor people / welfare sentiment, greed is good etc. - it was a negative and aggressive time but there was more of a veneer at least of overall principles & civility people lived by.
 
Redwood :D

Because I want to have a discussion, I ignore the personal attacks and try to listen to the heart of what is being said. I'm not sure why a different opinion is so threatening so some people, though.

:wavey:
 
Jambalaya said:
Redwood :D

Because I want to have a discussion, I ignore the personal attacks and try to listen to the heart of what is being said. I'm not sure why a different opinion is so threatening so some people, though.

:wavey:
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Oh I know, BTDT. There are people who will discuss respectfully and there are those who won't or can't.

I agree with some of what you say in this thread. I can have tons of empathy but not react emotionally. Some people cannot differentiate between being empathetic and emotional reaction. They are two different things entirely. Though people should be able to react in the way that suits them.
 
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