Do you find the acronym MILF offensive?

[Elizabeth35]

Interesting replies as to generational differences.
I am older and in my early career (early 80's) it was commonplace to be asked about family plans, birth control, etc. in the workplace or in interviews. Things that are clearly illegal now. Comments about your body or your sex life or breast size were common. As was occasional groping or unwanted touching.
So perhaps those of us who lived through that, and worked hard to reduce workplace and societal sexism are more offended by something that we perceive as sexist and demeaning?
Perhaps younger women are not as bothered by this because their experiences in society and the workplace have (hopefully) not been the same?

 

[1ofakind]

I just don't see ANY difference between writing the word and the abbreviated version. It is the same thing. I don't understand why anyone would be offended by one and not the other. Is MILF any better than if I write it all out?

 

[PreRaphaelite]

I'm also a gamer and an admin on a game server, and I can corroborate statements that other gamers here have made about online and in-game harassment. I don't tolerate it on my server but when on public servers there's not much I can do. I don't hide my gender though, and I DO get on the mic.

 

[Matata]

what is your position on the term DILF then, given your edit? Since arguably men benefit from privilege in a myriad of ways in society. Do you think that both terms are equally offensive or one is worse than the other?

Hadn't heard of the term and had to google it. Found discussions stating that this is a term more often used between gay men. Not sure if that's the case. Also found discussions stating that when DILF is searched, it mostly leads to photos of shirtless good looking men holding their child but when MILF is searched it more often leads to pornography sites. I'm not interested in fact checking that. Feminists say that MILF is worse than DILF because dad's neither gestate nor give birth (speaking only to the binary scale) and body issues are not the same. I'd say I agree with feminist papers on the terms that both are offensive but for different reasons and their implications have different effects.

 

[Matata]

This came across my FB feed. Hilarious example of the pitfalls of words and their meaning. WARNING: There is one brief use of the F word around the 4 minute mark.

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

No, I've never heard anyone use it seriously. My exposure to it (and I'm sure many in my age group) is from the American Pie movies. Silly juvenile movies. I tend to return crude humor with crude humor so we either all laugh or it stops if the other person gets offended.

 

[arkieb1]

Folks, PLEASE stop quoting posts with offensive language in them. It makes our job so much harder.

NO ONE should EVER be using the n word on this forum. Period.

mods, @nala & @sonnyjane - I apologise if anyone was offended by me writing out the "N" term, I have black Aboriginal relatives I've heard use the term, on more than one occasion, so I want to clarify that I was simply expressing how I've seen young people use it, I do not use it myself, nor did I write it to upset anyone.

It would be just as offensive to many of you if I wrote out what the "F" in the acronym we are discussing means.....

@Matata - @TheGarnetGirl summed it up perfectly when young and middle aged guys find out you are a female gamer "99% turn into weird horny hyenas."

I mostly play Fortnite and other shooting games 95% of the time I do not even bother using my microphone because if it's a teen to 50 year old guy and I do, then I just expect it to get weird. Sometimes if they are talking and swearing and being aggressive with each other, at the end if I'm on a team and we win the match I'll drop the mic (because I know I'll never play with them again) and say "thanks boys" and there is always a 5 to 10 second mic drop silent delay where these guys have to process that they just played with a woman equal to them in the game.

Then they either do one of three things, they try and friend me so they can play or talk to me again, they go wait what did you say because their brains cannot comprehend they just played with a woman or it just gets weird.

If I drop the mic and talking mid or during the game usually it gets weird and or they start saying sexually aggressive things.

I think it was you @Matata that has written and linked articles about the culture of angry young men out there, well 9 times out of 10, these are the boys I'm playing virtual shooter games with.... the rest of the time particularly in Fortnite they are youngish kids and let me tell you the language 80% of young children are using on there would shock most of you as well (keep in mind I have my mic turned off they assume I'm also another kid). So when I play without using my microphone, guys ALWAYS assume I'm another guy and young boys mostly ALWAYS assume I'm a youngish boy.

 

[kenny]

Gosh, maybe I should work to become an ace gammer.

If successful (which is doubtful) after beating the carp out of him, I'll tell my macho manly opponent that a fabuuu swishy homo just whooped his cute tight little @ss.

Hmmmmm ........ Naaaaaah ... too much cheap fun.

 

[arkieb1]

Gosh, maybe I should work to become an ace gammer.

If successful (doubtful) after beating the carp out of them, I'll tell the macho manly opponent that a swishy homo just whooped his cute tight little @ss.

Nah ... too much cheap fun.

When they turn into weird horny hyenas we aren't talking nice fun flirty guys here, we are all playing virtual games where you hunt and shoot and kill people, so the horny is mostly always accompanied by angry, violent, aggressive and misogynistic dialogue as well...

Actually sadly there is a culture of online bullying in these games too, by that I mean that if you play in a random squad and are not good I've heard multiple times boys and young men call the weakest member things like gay, they tell them that they suck if they get knocked (and insert a heap of swear words about how bad they are) they will not revive them, for example I played a match where two guys were saying that stuff and said to me don't revive the weakest team member. I dropped my mic and said, that could be a little kid stop being A-hats and bullying this person and I revived him. Then they started calling me a S@#* and a W@#*e and a heap of particularly derogatory works specifically aimed at demeaning women.

At that point I told the weak player to leave the game and I left the game myself ie I choose not to play with those people..... and there is a button on there that you can report "bad" behaviour to the people that run the site just like there is here, but mostly I rarely if ever use it.

When I started playing I've gotten into multiple swearing arguments with angry young men over them verbally bullying other players in the game.... now that I've just about seen it all I don't even bother arguing with them or talking to them I just leave that group and that particular game.

And probably the creepiest of all I've heard grown men trying to pick up young boys and young to teen girls on there as well.... which I always report.

 

[nala]

mods, @nala & @sonnyjane - I apologise if anyone was offended by me writing out the "N" term, I have black Aboriginal relatives I've heard use the term, on more than one occasion, so I want to clarify that I was simply expressing how I've seen young people use it, I do not use it myself, nor did I write it to upset anyone.

It would be just as offensive to many of you if I wrote out what the "F" in the acronym we are discussing means.....

@Matata - @TheGarnetGirl summed it up perfectly when young and middle aged guys find out you are a female gamer "99% turn into weird horny hyenas."

I mostly play Fortnite and other shooting games 95% of the time I do not even bother using my microphone because if it's a teen to 50 year old guy and I do, then I just expect it to get weird. Sometimes if they are talking and swearing and being aggressive with each other, at the end if I'm on a team and we win the match I'll drop the mic (because I know I'll never play with them again) and say "thanks boys" and there is always a 5 to 10 second mic drop silent delay where these guys have to process that they just played with a woman equal to them in the game.

Then they either do one of three things, they try and friend me so they can play or talk to me again, they go wait what did you say because their brains cannot comprehend they just played with a woman or it just gets weird.

If I drop the mic and talking mid or during the game usually it gets weird and or they start saying sexually aggressive things.

I think it was you @Matata that has written and linked articles about the culture of angry young men out there, well 9 times out of 10, these are the boys I'm playing virtual shooter games with.... the rest of the time particularly in Fortnite they are youngish kids and let me tell you the language 80% of young children are using on there would shock most of you as well (keep in mind I have my mic turned off they assume I'm also another kid). So when I play without using my microphone, guys ALWAYS assume I'm another guy and young boys mostly ALWAYS assume I'm a youngish boy.

That’s the thing. The N word is beyond offensive and not to be compared to profanity. Profanity is general. The N word is a very specific term used to degrade a particular race.

 

[arkieb1]

That’s the thing. The N word is beyond offensive and not to be compared to profanity. Profanity is general. The N word is a very specific term used to degrade a particular race.

Yes I do understand that, but the thing I was pointing out that many of you seem to have missed is that young people black people I know use the term amongst themselves in a non derogatory way, so like the term MILF, in that particular case it's more about the context it is used. I wasn't saying that one term is more or less offensive than the other, I personally find both highly offensive, all I was trying to point out is that I've seen both terms used in both highly offensive ways AND in non offensive ways.

 

[nala]

Yes I do understand that, but the thing I was pointing out that many of you seem to have missed is that young people black people I know use the term amongst themselves in a non derogatory way, so like the term MILF, in that particular case it's more about the context it is used. I wasn't saying that one term is more or less offensive than the other, I personally find both highly offensive, all I was trying to point out is that I've seen both terms used in both highly offensive ways AND in non offensive ways.

Straight Talk About the N-Word

Sean Price's interview with Arizona State University Professor Neal A. Lester. Lester has twice taught courses on the n-word—and found there’s plenty to talk about.

www.tolerance.org

 

[arkieb1]

@nala - thank you that article explains exactly what I was trying very badly to say.

I am 1/8 black Indigenous Australian I consider myself a POC. I’m also a former history teacher so thank you to the person that was explaining that the N word represents 400 of oppression in the US - yes I AM aware of that.

And anyone else that thinks my posts were or are intended to be racist, they weren’t, please read the article @nala linked.