Do you find the acronym MILF offensive?

[jordyonbass]

I thought it meant 'Man I like fishing'?

 

[AGBF]

I can't believe anyone is seriously asking this. It came from rap music. It's beyond offensive. That anyone is discussing this seriously is offensive.

 

[stracci2000]

It came from rap music.

Aha!
Now I know why I haven't heard of this before.
I despise rap music.

 

[Begonia]

I can't believe anyone is seriously asking this. It came from rap music. It's beyond offensive. That anyone is discussing this seriously is offensive.

The reason I ask is I saw another OP use it here on PS. As opposed to calling them out, I thought I would get some feedback. As we can all see, depending on the context, people 'vary' (to borrow from Kenny).

I come here to discuss things that delight me, inspire me, trouble me, and in this case offend me. Kenny and Arkie helped me think about context. I'd like to think I can talk about anything here on PS in an open way and honest way.

 

[arkieb1]

More stupid than offensive.

(I might be slightly less upset with it because it brings to mind “the Graduate”, an old book and a movie, and they were both well-made).

Maybe it has to do with not just the context as @kenny has suggested but the tone in which it has been said. When guys are yelling that s@#* out of a car it's offensive. Every time I've had the term said it me it's been highly offensive.

If we are talking about books or movies, like the Graduate or a Mrs Robinson type scenario the woman wants to be with a younger guy, and the woman is a willing participant then maybe the term works.... However, to have the term yelled or screamed at you aggressively by random strangers, I personally do NOT find flattering, it makes me angry if anything.

 

[partgypsy]

I suppose? but I haven't heard people use this in real life, (versus seen on internet like this case). And to be honest, of stuff that was said to my face when I was younger, it's not the worst term I've heard. It does sound like something an adolescent or immature person would say,

 

[Begonia]

I suppose? but I haven't heard people use this in real life, (versus seen on internet like this case). And to be honest, of stuff that was said to my face when I was younger, it's not the worst term I've heard. It does sound like something an adolescent or immature person would say,

You. Would. Think.

The last time I took my advanced 2 week first aid course, a guy my age (50's) was clearly attracted to me. When I kept it professional, he upped the ante and told me I'm his MILF. Things got interesting after that I'll tell you

 

[nala]

Can we also add the term cougar to this list? And I’d like to point out that the term cougar is many times used by women! Like wtf? Women really need to put each other down like that?

 

[AGBF]

The reason I ask is I saw another OP use it here on PS. As opposed to calling them out, I thought I would get some feedback. As we can all see, depending on the context, people 'vary' (to borrow from Kenny).

I come here to discuss things that delight me, inspire me, trouble me, and in this case offend me. Kenny and Arkie helped me think about context. I'd like to think I can talk about anything here on PS in an open way and honest way.

You wouldn't post a racist slur like "n*gger" and excuse it by saying that you expect to be able to discuss anything here. In my opinion, MILF is a slur like "n*gger" or "c*nt". I apologize if you didn't realize that it is, but it is.

 

[Matata]

*uck as it's used in MILF is pejorative. It's about aggression and lust without respect and without tenderness, and it's all about instant cock gratification. Big difference in intent between MILF and woman I'd like to make love to.

 

[Begonia]

You wouldn't post a racist slur like "n*gger" and excuse it by saying that you expect to be able to discuss anything here. In my opinion, MILF is a slur like "n*gger" or "c*nt". I apologize if you didn't realize that it is, but it is.

I'm a bit confused to be honest. I'm not using the term toward others, and your righteous indignation seems to be interpreting it in that way. It was used here and toward me and others in our daily life. What exactly are you so riled up at? That I'm discussing it? I have most certainly been called a c*nt, and it has sufficiently enraged me that I would probably come here to work thru my feelings. Some folks here are so good at helping others out in that regard. No, I've never been called the other word, so I can't speak to that pain, but I would likely discuss it as POC have. If this post is upsetting you that much, tune out or block me. I believe in shining a light on painful topics.

 

[Sunstorm]

Disgusting.

 

[Tekate]

at my age? 67??? naw. Now if a woman finds it offensive I get it.

 

[AGBF]

I have never blocked anyone. I will not say I will never block anybody, but I certaily will not block you!

I apologize for getting riled up in a posting responding to you, but not for getting riled up.

You have every right to discuss what you want You did not use it towards me.. What bothered me was that the term was remotely acceptable to anyone.

Many women have posted that they get very angry at the use of the word c*nt. I also get very angry at use of the word MILF. It demeans women.

I'm a bit confused to be honest. I'm not using the term toward others, and your righteous indignation seems to be interpreting it in that way. It was used here and toward me and others in our daily life. What exactly are you so riled up at? That I'm discussing it? I have most certainly been called a c*nt, and it has sufficiently enraged me that I would probably come here to work thru my feelings. Some folks here are so good at helping others out in that regard. No, I've never been called the other word, so I can't speak to that pain, but I would likely discuss it as POC have. If this post is upsetting you that much, tune out or block me. I believe in shining a light on painful topics.

 

[Begonia]

I have never blocked anyone. I will not say I will never block anybody, but I certaily will not block you!

I apologize for getting riled up in a posting responding to you, but not for getting riled up.

You have every right to discuss what you want You did not use it towards me.. What bothered me was that the term was remotely acceptable to anyone.

Many women have posted that they get very angry at the use of the word c*nt. I also get very angry at use of the word MILF. It demeans women.

Fair enough.
We have much in common after all.

I get riled up when it is used, and when I saw it here in another forum I was ready for a take down. So I posted to see how others feel, as I can be reactive and fiery.
Do I have the right person? Do I have the right words? Is this the right time? Posting sometimes helps me buy the time to ask those questions of myself.

 

[chrono]

I guess I’m sort of used to seeing such words, plus FU, C**t, the N word and etc on social media. They are used in a light hearted joking manner, but I’m uncomfortable with reading and hearing them. I think most of us on PS are sheltered from this other side of society.

 

[Jambalaya]

I don't like the term at all, along with all the other terms mentioned here. They all reduce someone to gender or race, and don't get me started on the ones that reduce someone to their sexual orientation.

This is somewhat different, but for some reason, I've only recently become aware of how widespread words to do with buttocks and poop are in our society, and I really don't like it. It's foul. The word "bullshit" is a word that I've rarely, if ever, used. Not on purpose - it's not like I have to remind myself not to - but because I've always thought it's absolutely foul. I mean, think about it.

In this society, the use of the words "ass," and "shit," and "bullshit" is sprinkled through our everyday language as liberally as people put salt on their food. I've only just noticed how much!

The reason I'm saying this now is because Chrono said that PSers are somewhat sheltered. It caused me to reflect on the high usage of words to do with poop and buttocks. So in that way, I don't feel particularly protected from those words.

I don't believe these words were used THIS liberally 25 years ago, but perhaps I'm wrong. Maybe it's the internet which has made poop and buttock-related terms so acceptable. Regardless, I think it's completely gross.

ETA: I do realize that the gender/orientation/racial slurs are much worse than the words about poop and buttocks. I'm just complaining about the sheer frequency of the latter. In my circles, I never hear the former slurs. But I do hear about poop way, way more than I'd like! On the street, with certain people I know, on TV, on the web. I have a dear friend who I love, and I know she loves her three-year-old son deeply, but she fondly refers to him as a little sh*t or a little d*ck, and it just jars with me.

 

[Tekate]

You guys know I was kidding in reference to my age and the MILF thing. not one guy would say that to his grannie... I entirely understand why a woman finds it offensive.as we progress in this time - times must change and that includes wolf whistles, MILF, hey babe ya wanna _____ etc. I have a beautiful, sweet, adorable granddaughter and I want a better world for her. I tried to raise my boys to be aware of how and what to say and so far I've been proud of who they are.

I refuse to give up my sense of humor tho.. Peace.

 

[AGBF]

I guess I’m sort of used to seeing such words, plus FU, C**t, the N word and etc on social media. They are used in a light hearted joking manner, but I’m uncomfortable with reading and hearing them. I think most of us on PS are sheltered from this other side of society.

I'm not at all sheltered from the words you mentioned. I expect to be sheltered from them in civilized places and when spoken to by civilized people. I want anyone who claims to be civilized to know that that term should not be used casually in every day vocabulary. If a writer used it for flavor in a piece of literature, I could accept it in that context.

As for the other words: my mother (who died at 90 in 2008 became a Headstart teacher when the program first began. She had been a certified teacher but had been home with little children (my brother and me). I remember her astonishment that two and three year olds were saying "motherf*cker". in her classroom. But that was well over 50 years ago before the word became common place.

Who can blame a toddler for using a word he learns? The toddler is not uncivilized. Well, actually he is. All toddlers are. But they are supposed to be. . We civilize them gradually. And they become accustomed to the culture in which they are raised.

By the time children are in middle school they know they shouldn't say certain words in school or to adults they do not know. I taught middle school and I know they knew. However, they are still on a learning curve.

I used to tell the kids I taught that certain words were not acceptable in my classroom. They were amazed at some of the words to which I took exception.. One day I came in and saw a list of all the words I didn't like up on the whiteboard. They had made it a project to please me. I was actually very touched by their doing it. It showed they were paying attention to me. (Nevertheless, I wiped down the whiteboard.) The only word I remember from that list was "suck". They had no idea that saying something "sucked" was not polite.

 

[arkieb1]

I don't like the term at all, along with all the other terms mentioned here. They all reduce someone to gender or race, and don't get me started on the ones that reduce someone to their sexual orientation.

This is somewhat different, but for some reason, I've only recently become aware of how widespread words to do with buttocks and poop are in our society, and I really don't like it. It's foul. The word "bullshit" is a word that I've rarely, if ever, used. Not on purpose - it's not like I have to remind myself not to - but because I've always thought it's absolutely foul. I mean, think about it.

In this society, the use of the words "ass," and "shit," and "bullshit" is sprinkled through our everyday language as liberally as people put salt on their food. I've only just noticed how much!

The reason I'm saying this now is because Chrono said that PSers are somewhat sheltered. It caused me to reflect on the high usage of words to do with poop and buttocks. So in that way, I don't feel particularly protected from those words.

I don't believe these words were used THIS liberally 25 years ago, but perhaps I'm wrong. Maybe it's the internet which has made poop and buttock-related terms so acceptable. Regardless, I think it's completely gross.

ETA: I do realize that the gender/orientation/racial slurs are much worse than the words about poop and buttocks. I'm just complaining about the sheer frequency of the latter. In my circles, I never hear the former slurs. But I do hear about poop way, way more than I'd like! On the street, with certain people I know, on TV, on the web. I have a dear friend who I love, and I know she loves her three-year-old son deeply, but she fondly refers to him as a little sh*t or a little d*ck, and it just jars with me.

Well perhaps it depends on cultural things as well, I grew up in the Australian bush and I swear a lot, it's fairly common place for salt of the earth people that come from those areas to swear a lot.

Having said that gaming I hear small children from the ages of 3 or 4 to 14 or 15 swear a lot. I have my microphone turned off they have no clue about how old I am or who I am let alone my gender and sometimes it shocks even me how much many of these kids swear and the context they use it....

 

[Arkteia]

I suppose? but I haven't heard people use this in real life, (versus seen on internet like this case). And to be honest, of stuff that was said to my face when I was younger, it's not the worst term I've heard. It does sound like something an adolescent or immature person would say,

Except for my cat, and myself, everyone in my family is a male. Consequently, lots of male friends are coming in to watch hockey games or whatever sport event is going on. I never heard anything like this, even remotely close to it, but a bunch of guys thrown together does not necessarily amount to Socrates' school.

 

[Jambalaya]

Well perhaps it depends on cultural things as well, I grew up in the Australian bush and I swear a lot, it's fairly common place for salt of the earth people that come from those areas to swear a lot.

Having said that gaming I hear small children from the ages of 3 or 4 to 14 or 15 swear a lot. I have my microphone turned off they have no clue about how old I am or who I am let alone my gender and sometimes it shocks even me how much many of these kids swear and the context they use it....

You know, I use the F word when I'm frustrated, and a few other swear words. I just dislike the near-constant references to stool in American culture. I have a sensitive sense of smell, and it's just, gross.

Agree that it's shocking to hear small children swear. Not surprised about teens, tho!

 

[kenny]

*uck as it's used in MILF is pejorative. It's about aggression and lust without respect and without tenderness, and it's all about instant cock gratification. Big difference in intent between MILF and woman I'd like to make love to.

If/when it's used between two consenting adults, live and let live.
Again (I hate that I have to add this) when it offends either one, then it's wrong.

Words themselves don't have inherent magical power.

Stating it is a fact that it is always wrong is intolerance.
BTW, the N word is widely used in some contexts where the speakers and listeners are not offended, actually the opposite.
Clearly it can actually serve as a term of endearment.

 

[kenny]

I'm not at all sheltered from the words you mentioned. I expect to be sheltered from them in civilized places and when spoken to by civilized people. I want anyone who claims to be civilized to know that that term should not be used casually in every day vocabulary. If a writer used it for flavor in a piece of literature, I could accept it in that context.

As for the other words: my mother (who died at 90 in 2008 became a Headstart teacher when the program first began. She had been a certified teacher but had been home with little children (my brother and me). I remember her astonishment that two and three year olds were saying "motherf*cker". in her classroom. But that was well over 50 years ago before the word became common place.

Who can blame a toddler for using a word he learns? The toddler is not uncivilized. Well, actually he is. All toddlers are. But they are supposed to be. . We civilize them gradually. And they become accustomed to the culture in which they are raised.

By the time children are in middle school they know they shouldn't say certain words in school or to adults they do not know. I taught middle school and I know they knew. However, they are still on a learning curve.

I used to tell the kids I taught that certain words were not acceptable in my classroom. They were amazed at some of the words to which I took exception.. One day I came in and saw a list of all the words I didn't like up on the whiteboard. They had made it a project to please me. I was actually very touched by their doing it. It showed they were paying attention to me. (Nevertheless, I wiped down the whiteboard.) The only word I remember from that list was "suck". They had no idea that saying something "sucked" was not polite.

Deb, I must say your use of the term 'civilized' here comes across (to me) as a dog whistle for, shall I say, a quality I do not wish to have.
... a reference to something like a superiority club.
You have a right to feel that way, of course, but I can also respond that it rubs me the wrong way.

All civilized people X, or all civilized people Y.
Slippery slope.

 

[kenny]

Same thing for putting down rap music ... "Only THOSE people listen to rap."
While I do not like messages of violence, drugs, and misogyny, tons of music that's not rap have that crap too.

As a guitar teach of children I encourage them to bring in songs they want to learn.
Often I have to consult the parents about whether they approve of a song.
None of it has been rap.

 

[Matata]

Stating it is a fact that it is always wrong is intolerance.
BTW, the N word is widely used in some contexts where the speakers and listeners are not offended, actually the opposite.
Clearly it can actually serve as a term of endearment.

Your mansplanation is offensive. Find me a majority of women who would appreciate any man, and especially one in the age group that uses MILF as slang, saying to them "Hey mom/mature I'd like to *uck you." There is nuance and psychology in those words that denote that it's unusual for a mom or a mature woman to be sexually attractive in addition to all the other negative stereotypes it places on women. Words may not have "magical" power but they do have power and if you don't understand that, you have self-work to do.

Your whitesplanation of the N word has no bearing on my responses in this thread and shows an ignorance that I won't attempt to address. More self-work for you.

 

[caf]

Yes, Very. And disrespectful.

 

[kenny]

Your mansplanation is offensive. Find me a majority of women who would appreciate any man, and especially one in the age group that uses MILF as slang, saying to them "Hey mom/mature I'd like to *uck you." There is nuance and psychology in those words that denote that it's unusual for a mom or a mature woman to be sexually attractive in addition to all the other negative stereotypes it places on women. Words may not have "magical" power but they do have power and if you don't understand that, you have self-work to do.

Your whitesplanation of the N word has no bearing on my responses in this thread and shows an ignorance that I won't attempt to address. More self-work for you.

"Find me a majority of women who ..."

Oh okay, so only "majorities" matter. Got it.

 

[AGBF]

Deb, I must say your use of the term 'civilized' here comes across (to me) as a dog whistle for, shall I say, a quality I do not wish to have.
... a reference to something like a superiority club.
You have a right to feel that way, of course, but I can also respond that it rubs me the wrong way.

All civilized people X, or all civilized people Y.
Slippery slope.

If you believe you are immune to ethnocentrism, kenny, I would argue you are probably not. Like me, you have your ideas of what is good and what is bad, what is acceptable and what is not.

When you say you do not like what I consider "civilized", all you are saying is that you and I differ. In other words, people vary.

 

[kenny]

... Your whitesplanation of the N word has no bearing on my responses in this thread and shows an ignorance that I won't attempt to address. More self-work for you.

My ex of 16 years was latino and raised from birth in a ghetto that was and still is 99% black.
He and his family, culturally, socially, and linguistically, are more black than latino or white.
In our 16 years together I learned lots and lots that few white folks in our racially polarized country will never scratch the surface of.