Do you enjoy throwing parties?

[Betty Baguette]

H*ll no.
So. Much. Work.

Both physically amd mentally. Our home is our sanctuary and we're all introverts of one form or another. Having people over feels invasive.

This ^^^^!

 

[Betty Baguette]

Reading these responses is surprising.

I thought there would be more party hosts on PS, getting all gussied up in your gorgeous jewelry as you welcome your guests into your elegant homes!

 

[telephone89]

My husband and I love cooking, and love cooking for other people. But I hate hosting parties lol. He grew up in a "hosting household" so he is better than me at being the host. I remember one time I ended up sitting at the table, tucked in and couldn't get out. He had to do everything and I was just sitting enjoying myself LOL. Poor guy.

But really, it's too much work to clean before and after. If someone wants to come chill in my back yard I will make you drinks and food and music and chit chat, but dont expect some grand thing, and dont look too closely at the floor/baseboards/etc...

 

[chrono]

@kenny,
I wrote that because with my sister (and her family) and my parents, and mine, that equals 10 people.

 

[nala]

@kenny,
I wrote that because with my sister (and her family) and my parents, and mine, that equals 10 people.

My family equals 30!!! And DH’s 20!!! And did I mention the drama that always precedes the party? And the PTSD after the party? I can’t believe it took me this long to realize how much I dislike entertaining!!

 

[SparklieBug]

I do not like to host parties.
I do not like to attend parties.

I am ok with a very small gathering with fewer than 10 people in total.

Haha! The bolded part sounds like a Dr. Zeuss comment.

I am similar, I don't really love to attend parties anymore, and am not particularly fond of hosting them anymore. Small gatherings of maybe six people (including DH and I) are mostly okay. Typically, it's four people...close friends. Not very often.

In the foggy, distant past, I used to enjoy larger gatherings but now, not so much. For birthday celebrations, going to a nice restaurant is preferred.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

What I always enjoyed was cooking for my DS starving friends when they were in University. Many were away from home and I would host meals. Very rewarding and worth the effort. But not a party , strictly speaking....

cheers--Sharon

 

[dk168]

I prefer to offer to help with the catering and let others do the organising.
Just give me the number to cater for, along with any special dietary requirements in advance, and leave me to get on with planning the menu and making the food.
DK

 

[Austina]

So you all don’t want to come round for a pool party then?

 

[canuk-gal]

So you all don’t want to come round for a pool party then?

OHMIGOD called it!

 

[nala]

So you all don’t want to come round for a pool party then?

Hahaha. Funny you mention a pool party. What definitely compelled me to second guess my bday party started with a couple of pool parties!! So, earlier in the summer I had a friend who kept insisting that I host a pool party for a few of our colleagues. When I finally agreed, only 3 had the decency to rsvp! One of them being a young man—so to spare him from the company of 3 middle aged-women, I cancelled. Well. Wouldn’t you know that the day before the original pool party date, everyone started texting to rsvp yes. I said nope—party was cancelled due to lack of interest! This rudeness opened my eyes to the fact that I had put myself out there and was treated as a last minute option!

The other incident happened bc of my pool as well. Big sister kept asking me to organize a pool party for my nephew who was visiting. I agreed and sent out a group text—knowing it was last minute—as was her request. But, they all replied yes, so hubby gets busy cleaning the backyard. An hour after their reply, my oldest brother decides to host a last minute dinner for my nephew—and they all cancelled on me and told me to just attend my brother’s dinner. My brother claims he was not aware of the pool party—which was an outright lie. I realized people will change their plans for a better meal! Apparently they wanted home cooking and I was gonna serve pizza. Sigh.
So I guess it comes down to me not appreciating my social circle enough to share my special day and put in all my effort bc most of the people that I would be forced to invite to avoid drama—are not worthy of my company!

 

[hardwear]

Big birthday/anniversary- we've had a few- outside the home. If I have my say, I won't be doing those anymore- so much cost involved. I could've gone on vacation!
Graduation party at home, catered.
We do host a few larger group gatherings a year- NYE in particular and smaller 1 or 2 couples more frequently throughout the year. But all of these parties/dinners are always reciprocated by others. Yes, its a lot of work and sometimes I cannot be bothered. But in the end it is fun and we've created lovely memories.
@telephone89 I like the term "hosting household" I guess that's what we are.

But this is your birthday (big one )- no work allowed. Ask to be taken out.
Or a spa day alone! or whatever makes you happy. Happy Birthday!

 

[Slickk]

So you all don’t want to come round for a pool party then?

@Austina only if I can try your jewelry on too!!

 

[TooPatient]

@Austina only if I can try your jewelry on too!!

Now THAT would get me to a pool party!

 

[mellowyellowgirl]

Except for Christmas, it feels like the only parties I host these days are playdates and they're always so much better than I imagine them to be.

I always feel a bit daunted the night before but I find that the day passes pretty quickly and DS always has so much fun and is so appreciative so they're worth it! Plus kids are easy. I don't mind chatting to them but there's no obligation for small talk. As long as they have lunch, fruit salad, snacks, access to a park, they're set! You just round them up for meals too so there's no "hosting" element.

My last three playdates went from 9.30am to 5pm!

 

[Austina]

@Austina only if I can try your jewelry on too!!

Now THAT would get me to a pool party!

I‘m rescinding the invitation.

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,

Yes, I used to like giving one party a year. Most of my social group did the same. I think its pretty easy as the booze becomes the primary focus, until about 11pm when the main food comes out. Chips, dip, and a vegetable tray on the coffee table and canopies passed at intervals was it. My go to meal remains the same ==lasagna, garlic bread, and salad. I almost always forget dessert. We dance==take out or move furniture from a room and I'm done., I hate when people won't leave. I have gone to bed with people still partying at my house. This may be 25 people or so.

I like casual company where I share my food but don't have to fuss. I am only an average cook.

I hate entertaining on holidays. This makes me so nervous its ridiculous. This is my mothers job, not mine. I carefully managed to let mom do it for many years.

Smaller dinner parties I always get steak. What could be easier.

Annette

 

[Matata]

And I realized that I simply do NOT ENJOY MYSELF at my own parties!!!
The build-up leading to the party is a lot of work! From cleaning to shopping to decorating to not trusting DH and DD with all the details, lol, to getting dolled up. It’s exhausting to even think about! It is no surprise that the day after a party i always have a backache!

I do not throw parties. I found out that my guests don't like things thrown at them () and prefer being gently served food and libations.

The only way I enjoy a large gathering is when I hire people to do the planning, prep, and clean-up. Even then I'm cranky the next day because I spent the previous evening being nice to my friends.

 

[SparklieBug]

I do not throw parties. I found out that my guests don't like things thrown at them () and prefer being gently served food and libations.

The only way I enjoy a large gathering is when I hire people to do the planning, prep, and clean-up. Even then I'm cranky the next day because I spent the previous evening being nice to my friends.

@Matata Your avatar picture always cracks me up, and with the above post, it's even funnier!

 

[jaysonsmom]

Lone voice here, I loved throwing parties. I didn’t mind all the prepping of food and clearing up afterwards, I really enjoyed it. I like cooking for other people rather than the daily chore of deciding what to have for dinner everyday.

I prefer hosting than actually going to parties, although we haven’t had a big party for several years now, but while we were still in England, we had small dinner parties on a regular basis.

@Austina, you are not alone!!!! I love hosting parties, but I know my limits, so I don't have more than 25 people if I'm doing the cooking, and no more than 50 if catered because my house can't hold more than 50. I'm also "the" party planner at work too....I organize potlucks, holiday events, ice cream socials, wedding showers, baby showers for my department of about 50 people.

The older I get, the more laid back I am about things...If things don't go according to plan, I don't sweat it. Most people attending don't really notice "mistakes" like someone didn't show up, or someone brought a date when they shouldn't have, or someone shows up at a potluck without a dish.....I used to be really uptight about things like that, but now, I just go with the flow!

 

[Austina]

Glad I’m not alone @jaysonsmom . I always did it because we had the room to host and I had the inclination.

 

[ringbling17]

The last big party I had was two years ago. I think we had at least 80 people over. It was sort of a house warming party (sans gifts) and many of my family came to see our house for the first time. I also invited my new neighbors and a few co-workers.
Honestly, it was so stressful and I really didn’t enjoy myself at all.
Every time I had the chance to just sit and talk to someone, it would only last a moment bf someone was asking me for something or I had to check on the food, napkins, cups, ice, drinks, etc.
The whole process stressed me out. From sendings the invites wondering how many people would actually show up and hoping I didn’t accidentally forget one of my relatives who probably would not come anyway (bc we “live too far”!!) , the cleaning of the house before, during (got to check the toilets, garbage and fill up the toilet paper) and after, preparing the food, ordering the catered food and cooking the food, getting enough drinks (got to have variety), water and ice, picking up the food on time from the caterers (before the party but not too early), checking my phone multiple times bc everyone texts you- they are outside, what is your address again, can we bring our dog, etc. Just the whole process is so much and overwhelming.
My husband loves to have people over though and he doesn’t understand why I feel the way I do. He’s always asking me when we can do another party or invite people over again.
I think part of my problem is it’s in my nature to take over and do all the planning while he most just sits back and waits for me to tell him what we need to buy, do, etc.

 

[ringbling17]

Incidentally I am the work party/ get together planner at my job. It’s not as stressful as planning my own events but one problem I’ve come across is having people rsvp that they are coming or want to come but they don’t pay up front. Many times I have had to fork over the cash and a few times people have forgotten to pay me when they show up. Or I have had to pay to hold a place in advance and a few people decided last minute that they aren’t or can’t come or they bring a friend or two.
Right now I’m having that issue bc everyone is asking me to plan an axe throwing event. I don’t mind doing the invites but the place is asking for a specific date and time and number of people. It’s $38 a person and you have to pay in advance to hold the place. It’s also not the type of place where you can sign up as an individual. Like I can’t tell everyone to go online and book for that date and time. So not sure what to do.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

This aggravates me so much! I refuse to do that when we are invited as it seems so disrespectful to me. That potluck we hosted had an invite sent out to something like 150 families. (All congregation members within some area.) Many never replied to the invitation, but so many said "maybe" that the day of the event, we had no idea if it was going to be 25 or 85! Seriously!?!? We provided the marinated grilled chicken plus a bunch more. I had to rent tables and chairs. There is a HUGE difference between those numbers. We ate chicken for days and had a freezer full of both cooked and just marinated...

its just good manners
i dont think a lot of people these days are very good at knowing what good manners actually are

 

[Petalouda]

I used to LOVE hosting larger size parties. After a series of unfortunate events including the untimely loss of my brother, I developed anxiety and planning events now has become a huge weight on me. I prefer much smaller gatherings now.

 

[Petalouda]

Incidentally I am the work party/ get together planner at my job. It’s not as stressful as planning my own events but one problem I’ve come across is having people rsvp that they are coming or want to come but they don’t pay up front. Many times I have had to fork over the cash and a few times people have forgotten to pay me when they show up. Or I have had to pay to hold a place in advance and a few people decided last minute that they aren’t or can’t come or they bring a friend or two.
Right now I’m having that issue bc everyone is asking me to plan an axe throwing event. I don’t mind doing the invites but the place is asking for a specific date and time and number of people. It’s $38 a person and you have to pay in advance to hold the place. It’s also not the type of place where you can sign up as an individual. Like I can’t tell everyone to go online and book for that date and time. So not sure what to do.

It’s never been easier to RSVP, and yet, it seems like the concept of RSVPing is going out of style. I’ve had the same issue with people not wanting to pay up front and the cost coming out of my pocket (usually when helping plan someone’s shower or bachelorette). One bachelorette I helped plan, I put a deposit down to hold the rental home and asked people to pay me before the event. I sent a few reminders asking them to send payment before as I knew once the event passed, it would be much harder to follow up for payment (I didn’t know my friends friends well as I lived in a different city than most of them). One attendee made a big show the first day of writing a check, ripping it off and handing it to me quite rudely. I refuse to head an event now unless I know everyone very well.

 

[ringbling17]

It’s never been easier to RSVP, and yet, it seems like the concept of RSVPing is going out of style. I’ve had the same issue with people not wanting to pay up front and the cost coming out of my pocket (usually when helping plan someone’s shower or bachelorette). One bachelorette I helped plan, I put a deposit down to hold the rental home and asked people to pay me before the event. I sent a few reminders asking them to send payment before as I knew once the event passed, it would be much harder to follow up for payment (I didn’t know my friends friends well as I lived in a different city than most of them). One attendee made a big show the first day of writing a check, ripping it off and handing it to me quite rudely. I refuse to head an event now unless I know everyone very well.

I’m sorry that happened to you. I think unless people have actually planned an event for someone, most people don’t know the cost or time involved.
I am a nurse and we have about 75 people in my department. Everyone asks me when are we doing our next get together. Ummm, the last get together was in December and we had it in a karaoke bar with a rented private room and I paid for it (I let everyone know the cost in advance and posted it at least three times on our FB group, so it was no surprise) and I still have about 7 or 8 people who have not paid me back.
And honestly I hate asking people for money. I’m just embarrassed to do it.
I’ve mentioned to everyone that they can plan something if they want. It doesn’t always have to start with me. Just post it on the Facebook group. But then they say “but you’re so good at it”, which I think is secret for no way, you do it lol!
But I do it again and again bc I love my co-workers and we always have a great time in the end. So it’s my fault too.

 

[Petalouda]

I’m sorry that happened to you. I think unless people have actually planned an event for someone, most people don’t know the cost or time involved.
I am a nurse and we have about 75 people in my department. Everyone asks me when are we doing our next get together. Ummm, the last get together was in December and we had it in a karaoke bar with a rented private room and I paid for it (I let everyone know the cost in advance and posted it at least three times on our FB group, so it was no surprise) and I still have about 7 or 8 people who have not paid me back.
And honestly I hate asking people for money. I’m just embarrassed to do it.
I’ve mentioned to everyone that they can plan something if they want. It doesn’t always have to start with me. Just post it on the Facebook group. But then they say “but you’re so good at it”, which I think is secret for no way, you do it lol!
But I do it again and again bc I love my co-workers and we always have a great time in the end. So it’s my fault too.

I hate asking for money too! It’s a shame that in general, manners have become so optional these recent years. I know not everyone is paying you back but I’m glad you get so much joy out of the moment and memories created from the event.

 

[ame]

Nope. I don't like hosting anything or anyone in my house. Id rather go to someone else's place or a public place, and be able to leave when I want.

 

[YadaYadaYada]

Nope. I don't like hosting anything or anyone in my house. Id rather go to someone else's place or a public place, and be able to leave when I want.

Same!