by yorkgirl » Jun 9, 2014 I talked to my husband about this thread. For what it's worth we've been together for 15 years and discussed marriage early on, both chose a ring (though he paid) and celebrated our engagement together. No proposal - I agree it's a formality. We've had a romantic life built on mutual partnership and equality. I never ever got the proposal thing...it feels quite hokey to me, like the whole being asked to prom deal. Staged. But any girls that are engaged at work, after squeals the questions from other women are always "how did he propose???" He pointed out the same point a guy said earlier about 3/4 of women being the ones filing for divorce. In addition, the sexual revolution has also brought on the fact that women are just as likely to cheat on their partners as men are. Also children of divorce are less likely to be in lasting marriages themselves. More divorces equal more children of divorce. So perhaps all of this waiting could be lack of mutual trust? Less faith in marriage overall? I do agree though that intentions should be stated early on, not the third date or anything but c'mon, in the first year. A year is a long time! How could you not have that discussion within a year, or do have that discussion and accept "be patient" as a good answer? That's why I think proposals are hokey - that element of waiting to be asked is fake, and puts all the control and power in the guys hands in terms of timing. That's what is not very modern to me. That only made sense in Victorian times when women did nothing but tend to their homes and wait to accept marriage proposals.