Do things about your SO drive you crazy sometimes?

[chemgirl]

I sometimes worry that I'm the only one who gets frustrated with my husband. Everybody seems like the perfect couple in public so I wonder if I'm the only one who finds things about my husband really annoying. Some reassurance and shared stories would be much appreciated here!

My main issue with my DH is that he doesn't follow rules if he doesn't see a reason for them. Normally I agree when he says that there's no clear reason for a rule, but I'll just follow it anyway. He questions them and will sometimes disobey if he doesn't feel they're necessary. This drives me crazy! It comes up fairly often. He has parking tickets galore (and gets out of all of them because the police always gets the color of our car wrong on the ticket), a ticket for turning left when there was no left turns, and a citation for painting his office a banned color. There are also smaller things like checking out of hotel rooms half an hour to an hour late. His quirk also extends to social rules and many of you will probably remember my freak out in LIW about how he didn't see a problem with sleeping over at his ex girlfriend's house if he missed his train.

I love the guy and he's a fantastic husband, I just get frustrated that he questions everything when I would just automatically maintain the status quo.

I really needed a rant, plus I sometimes worry that I'm the only one who gets frustrated with their SO!

 

[Matata]

While I love him dearly, here's a short list of peeves:

Leaves garbage on the kitchen counter instead of putting it in the trash;
Whatever he drops on the floor stays there;
Never cleans off the bathroom mirror (flossing flickies everywhere, ewwwww);
Leaves little bits of food in containers in the fridge--not enough for a snack even--a teaspoon here, a smidge there;
Always remembers what he needs from the store AFTER I return from shopping even though I ask him well BEFORE I leave.

 

[amc80]

Our issue is HIS dogs. He just moved in with me (getting married next month), so his two dogs came too. We don't have a yard, since my place is a condo, so the dogs stay in the guest bathroom while we are at work (these are english bulldogs and they spend approximately 23.5 hours a day sleeping). I end up feeding them, cleaning up after them, changing puppy pads, etc. It pi$$es me off more than I can even say. I would be okay with trading off (like I clean up in the mornings and he does it at night) but I end up doing it about 90% of the time. I ask him why he doesn't do it and he says "because I've had to do it for so many years." Um, yeah, they are your dogs...This will be solved in a few months when we move to a house with a yard. I'm big on picking my battles, though, and as annoying as it is, it maybe takes 10 minutes a day.

 

[TooPatient]

There was a GREAT thread in the family & home section awhile back. I think it was titled "MEN!"

No.... not just you.


A few irritations:
He'll change the toilet paper when it is empty, but leave the empty roll on the floor even though there is a waste bin 2 feet away.
Shoes are left anywhere he happens to be and then I trip on them (okay... I do it too but his shoes are bigger)
If he can't find a bookmark, the book he's reading gets left open on the nightstand - spine up so it smooshes the pages apart
Humming. Singing. All. Day.

 

[Octavia]

Oh yes (see Lanie's housework thread in FHH). We have a good marriage, but I think it's only human to get annoyed now and then. I'm sure there are things about me that drive DH up the wall on occasion, too. It's just what happens when people live together for an extended time, unless they have the patience of saints. Remember that what you see in public is not an accurate representation of what really goes on behind closed doors -- the only people who really know what goes on in a marriage are the ones involved (and sometimes not even them...).

 

[somethingshiny]

Here are some of my peeves about my husband of 12 years.

Doesn't shut cabinet doors.
Leaves dirty boxers one foot away from the hamper.
Refuses to drive the speed limit.
Refuses to use turn signals.
Refuses to get up the first time the alarm goes off in the morning.


These are DAILY peeves that I"ve learned to live with. I know that he hates that I ALWAYS drive the speed limit and use turn signals when no one else is around. I'm the rule follower and he is the rule breaker.

Something that was said to me when I first discovered how annoying DH could be was this: Would you look at your best friend and reprimand her for doing the exact same thing? Or would you blow it off? Doesn't your DH deserve at least that much respect?

 

[Lauren8211]

Absolutely! We are a very happily married couple, but man can he drive me nuts!

Things that drive me nuts:

-The fact that he'll go so far as rinse his dishes, and then just LEAVE them in the sink! The dishwasher IS.RIGHT.THERE!
-He can't ever be done getting ready before me. He could be completely showered, dressed, ready to go and I'll have an HOUR before I'll be ready. For some reason, when I'm done, there are ALWAYS 5-10 minutes of stuff he MUST do right then and there. His top favorite - clip his fingernails. Why couldnt he do it while I was getting ready??? UGH!
- Can't get his clothes in the hamper. Ever.

I know there are more, but those are the top 3 that popped into my head.

I'm just learning to accept these things. They likely won't ever change, and I'll drive myself nuts if I get upset every single time they happen. In the grand scheme of things, he's a wonderful person, and I married him full well knowing that was part of the package. Acceptance is key! : )

 

[merilenda]

You're so not alone. I feel like this, too. I definitely get annoyed by my husband. And then I feel like maybe I'm inpatient, because it seems like I get annoyed easier than others.

One thing that annoys me are his little jokes. He will tell the same dumb joke over and over and over. At first it's kind of endearing, and then it just gets plain annoying. Plus he sometimes doesn't know when to stop with his joking.

He's also a very organized person, but he's messy, if that makes sense. If I don't clean the kitchen or bathroom, or Swiffer the floors, they get really gross.

I can't complain too much though really. I mean, yes, on a day to day basis, he does things that bug me. But he hears me when I tell him something is bothering me, and for the most part, he'll try to adapt if it's not a big deal. He also really does more housework and cooking than I do, so it's okay if I do more cleaning since I have a lower tolerance. I know I do things that annoy him too - it's just the nature of living with someone, I think.

 

[TooPatient]

Here are some of my peeves about my husband of 12 years.

Doesn't shut cabinet doors.
Leaves dirty boxers one foot away from the hamper.
Refuses to drive the speed limit.
Refuses to use turn signals.
Refuses to get up the first time the alarm goes off in the morning.


These are DAILY peeves that I"ve learned to live with. I know that he hates that I ALWAYS drive the speed limit and use turn signals when no one else is around. I'm the rule follower and he is the rule breaker.

Something that was said to me when I first discovered how annoying DH could be was this: Would you look at your best friend and reprimand her for doing the exact same thing? Or would you blow it off? Doesn't your DH deserve at least that much respect?

Very true.

You can still be annoyed by stuff but fall into a routine of just living with them. Some things (like the empty TP rolls on the floor) aren't worth stressing about. We all have little things that bug others around us. I try to not nag over the little stuff and only bring up the things that really matter.

 

[merilenda]

Absolutely! We are a very happily married couple, but man can he drive me nuts!

Things that drive me nuts:

-The fact that he'll go so far as rinse his dishes, and then just LEAVE them in the sink! The dishwasher IS.RIGHT.THERE!
-He can't ever be done getting ready before me. He could be completely showered, dressed, ready to go and I'll have an HOUR before I'll be ready. For some reason, when I'm done, there are ALWAYS 5-10 minutes of stuff he MUST do right then and there. His top favorite - clip his fingernails. Why couldnt he do it while I was getting ready??? UGH!
- Can't get his clothes in the hamper. Ever.

I know there are more, but those are the top 3 that popped into my head.

I'm just learning to accept these things. They likely won't ever change, and I'll drive myself nuts if I get upset every single time they happen. In the grand scheme of things, he's a wonderful person, and I married him full well knowing that was part of the package. Acceptance is key! : )

Haha Elle, my DH does the EXACT SAME THING with getting ready. He clips his nails, too! Or he'll take 10 minutes trying to find socks/shoes. Why couldn't he get that stuff together when I was getting ready!

 

[Haven]

Neither DH nor I are easily irritated, but we do have a joke in the house that goes something like this:

One of us will come across something irritating for which the other is responsible. The irritated party will then look at whichever pets are currently underfoot (there's always at least one cat or a dog around) and say "Daddy/Mommy is so uh-NOY-ing." Then, the irritating party will yell "Whaaaaaat?! Did you say something?" from the other room. And then it's over. Sometimes, I'll find DH and grab him around the stomach and whisper in his ear that he is the most annoying man in the whole wide world. Sometimes I really believe it, but most of the time it's pretty lighthearted.

Things DH does that irritate me:
- Reloads the dishwasher after I've already done it and talks about my errors loudly enough for me to hear them.
- Sets out a mass of coasters on every.single.wooden surface in the house the night before we have guests over. When I say mass, I mean a MASS. We probably own more coasters than we do cups.
- He leaves clean boxers on the buffet in the kitchen most mornings. He pulls them out, sets them IN MY KITCHEN on his way to the shower, forgets about them, and pulls out another pair. Day after day after day . . .
- Nothing is ever clean enough for him. He usually re-cleans any surface after I've just done it.

Things I do that irritate DH: (I'm imagining him saying these things . . . )
- She is cannot load a dishwasher! She just jams as much as she can in there, and doesn't care if the water won't have a proper circulation path to clean everything.
- She invites tons of people over to the house, and then they come and behave like animals. If I don't set out enough coasters to cover every single surface of furniture, they will literally find the few empty spots and stick their condensation-covered glasses RIGHT there on my furniture.
- She moves things if I leave them laying around in the house. (What's wrong with a pair of clean boxers in the kitchen????)
- She really sucks at cleaning kitchen surfaces. I have to redo everything after she's cleaned it.

 

[TooPatient]

Found them! These were really funny and great.

Here are links to the threads over in the FHH section:

MEN!

WOMEN!

 

[Novel]

Oh yes, though I feel guilty about it because I know I'm much more annoying to live with. So I try to ignore the little things.

The big thing, though, which makes me the craziest and has the most repercussions: He can't leave on time for big things. He panics and runs around like the proverbial headless chicken before a move, a flight, even a hockey game or a party. Makes me nuts!

 

[ame]

oh lord can I list some annoyances. My biggest one is his laziness and lack of motivation to do anything. Besides games of course. Our house is a mess, he can't be bothered. I ask him to do TWO THINGS around the house, the dishes (load and unload dishwasher) twice a week at least, and deal with the trash. I usually end up doing the dishes after a week of waiting for him. And then he complains that we have no dishes so then we have to go out and eat which "wastes money since we have food to make". You can control that, yknow! He knows how irritating it is to me. Doesn't change it.

His sleeping in til 3 in the afternoon on weekends is also really irritating. I've adapted. Just like I have to the fact that he strips to his underwear IN THE LIVING ROOM within 5 seconds of entering the house and leaves the clothes piled in the middle of the room, a pile that grows at night by the addition of his now dirty underwear on top.

But the "if I don't want to do it, I won't do it, period" attitude with other stuff is liable to get him smothered in his sleep.

 

[monarch64]

He sings constantly. He has a beautiful tenor, but he doesn't just sing a few bars under his breath. Noooo. He sings full force, entire verses and choruses at a time, over and over again. Lately there's been a lot of Journey and other classic rock. The music depends on what genre whatever band he is playing with does. I can only hear Wheel In the Sky so many times before I want to jump out the 2nd story window. Oh, and whatever song is playing on the radio when we're in the car, he has to sing THE HARMONY at the top of his lungs. I used to try turning up the volume to drown him out but it doesn't work.

 

[packrat]

The threads Too Patient linked to are hysterical. I posted all my grievances there. They're still the same.

A couple years ago, JD applied for a job with the police force in town and two of the Sergeant's came to do an interview with me about it one evening. They asked what kind of things about him I would call faults that they should be aware of. I told JD if I'd known they were going to ask that I'd have had a notebook ready to go titled "Things JD Did Wrong Today Vol XI" and had listed by date the various wrongdoings and transgressions. I still need to make that b/c it would be funny.

Anymore when he irritates the crapola out of me, I make another tick-mark in my mental book, smile and think about the budget for my AVC band.

 

[Laila619]

Hehe, I'm sure everyone finds their spouse annoying at times.

DH has a habit of talking too much when I'm immersed in a book, or trying to read a good thread on Pricescope. He can see that I'm reading and not really giving him my attention, but he just keeps going on. Ah well, such a minor thing but it still bugs me.

 

[tyty333]

My DH only does a few things that bug me...

- He chews too fast and too loud. I can hear his teeth clicking together when he eats. Its really annoying because I find
myself trying to chew at his pace. Seems like all of a sudden I'm in a race with him. I have to remind myself to slow down and
eat at my usual snail pace. This is not really something that I feel like I can say anything to him about.

- When he finds something I did that he doesnt like he complains talks about it under his breath. Enough where I know he
is saying something about it but have to really strain to hear the specifics. Like he wants me to know there is a problem
but doesnt want to confront me one-on-one. Now I've learned when he starts to do this I stick my fingers in my ears
and do the la-la-la sound in my head. If he cant talk to me one-on-one about it then I'm not going to struggle to figure
out whats bothering him. He can deal with it !

 

[Mayk]

Total oddball here.... I don't have one thing.. I know sounds crazy that makes me crazy. I married my best friend we do everything together and both have busy careers and children from a previous marriage.. I give hime e time he needs for his and he gives me the time and understanding I need to take care of mine. All my friends think I married a prince. I am convinced I did. In four years the man has never shown anger wi me...frustration sure.. But never raised his voice. I heard he yell at the kids (his) once. I wad like OMG who is this man and where did my us and go. I know..I am newly we'd but we have been together and through a lot in four years and this hold true. He's neat, so am I this helps. He helps out around the house, he cooks, and so do I, we make dinner together at night and talk about our day... I do sometimes get lost he can go too deep. He's an archiect so I am sure my eyes glaze over... Ok.. I will stop. I sound worse than the sap I thought I was

 

[amc80]

My DH only does a few things that bug me...

- He chews too fast and too loud. I can hear his teeth clicking together when he eats. Its really annoying because I find
myself trying to chew at his pace. Seems like all of a sudden I'm in a race with him. I have to remind myself to slow down and
eat at my usual snail pace. This is not really something that I feel like I can say anything to him about.

OMG, I had an ex who would scrape the fork with his teeth. Every. Single. Bite.

-The fact that he'll go so far as rinse his dishes, and then just LEAVE them in the sink! The dishwasher IS.RIGHT.THERE!

I finally had to tell him that I don't have any weird possession issues with the dishwasher, and he is free to load and/or unload it at any time. He still leaves his damn stuff in the sink.

The irritated party will then look at whichever pets are currently underfoot (there's always at least one cat or a dog around) and say "Daddy/Mommy is so uh-NOY-ing."

Okay, so we aren't the only ones to use pets as a form of communication. I will have "conversations" with one of the cats in front of him. "What, Zoe? Yes, I know the counter is a mess...it's covered with daddy's things."

 

[zoebartlett]

Oh my, I love my husband, but there are definitely things about him that drive me crazy.

One thing that has bothered me for years is that he's not the most highly motivated person around the house. He grew up helping his dad with the chores outside, and I don't think anything was really expected of him inside his house. He told me once that he's "not good" at cleaning. Really?! Come on. How hard is it? In my house, my dad was (and still is) a clean freak. He's great at it, and I'd love it if some of that rubbed off on my husband.

 

[chemgirl]

Haha, this thread has reminded me of all of the little things he does that I've learnt to ignore. It doesn't phase me anymore when he hands me a sealed plastic bag full of week old, moist gym clothes. I've accepted that he has "work underwear" and "workout underwear" and sometimes he needs to leave them on the shoe mat by the front door. I'll never understand why he does it, but he does.

I was in a bad mood about it this morning because we received a letter from the company from whom we rent office space. DH and I had a big debate about painting it green because the lease specifies that the paint has to be neutral and light. They specifically said no blue, red, or green. He says he can't work in an office that isn't green (he had studies correlating productivity and room color) . He also says that the office color shouldn't matter since we'll paint it before we leave anyway. I agree with him in theory, but I wasn't amused to get a $200 fine for violating the rental terms. To me, it isn't that hard to just pick out a nice cream, grey, or taupe color and ask the rental company for approval before painting. Sigh.

I'm sure I do loads of things that annoy him. Namely move his underwear from its place on the front doormat.

 

[Circe]

You know, I can't say that any of my husband's random habits drive me nuts. I mean ... he too suffers from the dreaded Hamper Blindness, and I WISH he could learn to set the shower back to "faucet" and not "showerhead" after he showers so I don't get a stream of water in the face when I go to take a bath, but whatevs. I've lived with roommates, and by that scale, he's completely awesome - it's a good/bad situation in that he sees dirt while I see clutter, so between the two of us, the house stays relatively tidy, and we both feel pretty equally put-upon.

No, what drives me NUTS and acts as a source of strife is, a) how picky he is, and, b) how unwilling to compromise he can be. Example: we are currently looking for a couch. When we moved to our last apartment, it wouldn't fit the plain couch-couch and the daybed that unfolds into a king-size bed for when his numerous out-of-town loved ones visit, so ... goodbye, couch. Thing is, he hates the daybed, and while he acknowledges its usefulness, he refuses to sit on it and only agreed to move it to THIS apartment on the condition that it go in the guest-room and we buy a new couch.

Cool by me! We've been here a month and a half. Do we have a couch?

NO. Every couch I've found has some minor thing wrong with it - the arms are too high, the back is too low, the cushions are too stiff, it comes in the wrong shade of red, on and on and on, and in the meantime, the living room is frikkin' unusable. I have resorted to dragging one of the mattresses off the daybed and covering it with pillows. When your heavily pregnant wife is making a nest like a cat about to have kittens, mayhap its time to bend your principles a tad ... but no.

Sigh. ChemGirl, nobody is perfect. Happily, most of us at least manage to find people who are imperfect in the ways that dovetail with our own quirkiness ....

 

[maplefemme]

I have to say that my guy is beyond helpful around the house and blows me away with all the things he does for me, however, there are two things that he does on a regular basis really drive me NUTS.
He slurps hot drinks, it drives me mental! He should either wait for it to cool or tip the cup more, but no, he sucks it up like a vacuum. It drives me bat-$hit-crazy.
The other is that he loves to play devil's advocate, be contradictory for the heck of mental sparring. Some days I can ignore him, others days I could stab him
That said, I'm sure I drive him equally crazy with my quirks

 

[ChloeTheGreat]

There was a GREAT thread in the family & home section awhile back. I think it was titled "MEN!"

No.... not just you.


A few irritations:
He'll change the toilet paper when it is empty, but leave the empty roll on the floor even though there is a waste bin 2 feet away.
Shoes are left anywhere he happens to be and then I trip on them (okay... I do it too but his shoes are bigger)
If he can't find a bookmark, the book he's reading gets left open on the nightstand - spine up so it smooshes the pages apart
Humming. Singing. All. Day.

My ridiculous SO will leave minimal amounts of toilet paper on the roll just so it's not empty and he doesn't have to put a new roll on.

There are lots of little things he does that bug me. I've just gotten used to them in the 7 years we've been living together.
The one that's driving me crazy lately is how he clanks his spoon around the bowl when he eats cereal. CLANK CLANK CLANK. He says he's scraping everything off the side of the bowl. Seems like he could do it a lot quieter.

 

[luv2sparkle]

My DH is pretty darn close to perfect, but one thing he does that drive me crazy is he moves things without telling me. There is a joke
at the Fire Station that his crew all knows that if I call at 8 am, he has moved something and I can't find it. Drives me nuts.

Okay, one more thing. He tells me about his day and it takes really looong. The man knows how to drag out a story. He is a master of
rabbit trails. Sometimes, when he calls me at night from work I let him talk and just sit the phone on the bed and watch tv. He can
take an hour and barely take a breath. My friends tell me I am lucky to have a man who talks to me, and I probably am, but sometimes
it makes me a little crazy.

 

[dani13]

Luv2Sparkle, LOL!!! I think we *may* be married to the same man!!!

MH takes SO LONG to tell a story....I feel bad, sometimes my mind starts to wander when he's talking to me.... Then he'll reference the conversation or situation in the future and I totally won't remember because I never paid attention in the first place!!!!

ps- I do the same thing with the phone! I am a horrible wife!

 

[NOYFB]

These posts are hilarious! Of course DH does things that drive me nuts. He wouldn't be human if he didn't. For example:
1) He has a pile on laundry on the floor on his side of the bed that is so deep you cannot see the floor. Luckily, it's the side of the bed that is opposite of the door, so people cannot see it if they come over and happen to peek into our bedroom. But, for real, dude. Do some laundry! (To his credit, he DID ask if I had designs on the washer tonight so he could do some, so I am hopeful).

2) His night stand. OMG. Seriously. He empties his pockets on that nightstand nightly (coins, receipts, business cards, guitar pics, parts from work, etc) And NEVER cleans it off. I've found receipts from 3 months prior on that nightstand! And truth be told, there is a bottle of Mylanta and an empty glass sitting next to it from when he was sick 2 weeks ago! Sometimes I just go through and throw all of the paper away, and shove the coins and guitar pics into the drawer. LOL

3) He is always complaining that he has to wait for me whenever we are going somewhere. But the truth is, I get ready before him, and then I tell him the bathroom is free (we only have one). Meanwhile, he will play guitar for another 10-15 minutes before getting in the shower, while I am sitting around just waiting for him to finish up. When I finally think he is ready and grab my purse and keys and head out the door he is always 2 minutes behind me....looking for his keys/sunglasses/changing his shirt, etc....This even happened the day after our wedding. We had a limo waiting to take us to the airport. I was outside, sitting in the limo, ready to go, while he was upstairs STILL PACKING!!! LOL

4) He has some weird obsession with the ice trays in the freezer. We have 2 different sets of trays (2 white and 2 blue) that are slightly different in size. Apparently if you put the blue ones on top of the white ones while they are still water they will get stuck or something??? But if you do it the other way around you may accidentally pull off the top tray which hasn't frozen yet and get splattered with water??? I still can't figure this out. No matter how I do it, logically, for me, it is not right, apparently.


But...I love him and he has more amazing qualities than annoying habits, so I deal with them. I'm sure I do lots of things that bug the crap out of him, too!

 

[luv2sparkle]

Luv2Sparkle, LOL!!! I think we *may* be married to the same man!!!

MH takes SO LONG to tell a story....I feel bad, sometimes my mind starts to wander when he's talking to me.... Then he'll reference the conversation or situation in the future and I totally won't remember because I never paid attention in the first place!!!!

ps- I do the same thing with the phone! I am a horrible wife!

Dani, our record for calls from the station before cell phones was 188 minutes. Who do you think did most of the talking?
I don't even keep track now with cell to cell. My tell, for time to get off the phone is "Well honey, that's about it." Even when I have hardly said a word.

Ok, and he is a packrat. The man doesn't want to throw away anything. I am a pitch-er so I guess we balance. He has nightstand issues too, but with magazines. Next to his side of the bed he has boxes and two huge bags he takes to work. I have never seen a man carry so much stuff with him. I got him a kindle hoping it would take care of some of it, but no. Now he has all the magazines and books AND a kindle.

 

[lulu]

My husband does conversation by ambush. If I'm walking through a room, clearly intending to leave that room (my arms are full of laundry) he'll start a conversation and expects me to drop everything and listen. If I just continue on with what I'm doing he'll keep talking, oblivious to the fact that I have left the room. It's when I'm out of the room that he tells me very important things and later asserts, when I have no memory of them, "you just don't listen to me".

He saves every leftover but doesn't eat them. When I point out some rotten thing I have just pitched he says "why didn't you remind me it was in there, I would've had it for lunch." ??????

These are just the tip of the iceberg.