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#TBT 'Divorce' ring

KBerly

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Apr 21, 2004
Messages
999
I love everything about this ring! I'm a May baby, just love the emeralds w diamonds, and the whole design is just fabulous! And yes, this beauty will be hard to top ;-)
 

plad25

Shiny_Rock
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May 4, 2015
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225
Beautiful!! More pictures please!
 
P

PierreBear

Guest
Sorry for the circumstances of the ring but I think the end result was beautiful. Way to transition it to something you will continue to wear. It is beautiful and powerful!
 

LadyMCh

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Jun 30, 2016
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318
:love::love::love::love::love:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My literal first reaction seeing the pic was "dayyyuuummmmmm girrlllllllll!"
You rock that rock! I love the symbolism: looking for the good (your child), moving on (reset), and creating something beautiful you can enjoy from what, I'm sure, was a painful experience. You are inspirational!
 

ac117

Ideal_Rock
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Apr 28, 2014
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4,057
I love the way you gave your stone a new purpose!!! This ring is stunning!!! I'd happily rock it while enjoying new singlehood!! :love:
 

athenaworth

Ideal_Rock
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Jun 19, 2010
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3,588
OMG I made a divorce ring too!! I always tell everyone it wasn't my diamond's fault that my ex was a d-bag!

Yours is incredible! Love it very much! Rock on with your bad self!

ETA: Thanks for the shout out guys. I didn't read the comments before I commented. I love the idea of reloving our bling.
 

blingmeupscotty

Brilliant_Rock
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Dec 12, 2016
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960
Wear it in good health! My first words after the gasp? "THAT is BALLER" lol.. good for you!!!
 

JDDN

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Apr 2, 2015
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2,339
Your ring is crazy beautiful and the meaning behind it makes it even bettah!!!

I keep coming back to oggle your photos!!
 

samranmal

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Dec 30, 2016
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OMG I made a divorce ring too!! I always tell everyone it wasn't my diamond's fault that my ex was a d-bag!

Yours is incredible! Love it very much! Rock on with your bad self!

ETA: Thanks for the shout out guys. I didn't read the comments before I commented. I love the idea of reloving our bling.
When everyone gave you the shout out, I searched profiles to try to find yours...is it the one in your picture? It is stunning as well! My divorce was over 5 years ago, so the pain has long since passed....I recommend to everyone going through one to repurpose their rings (as long as they can separate the emotion from the rock). It really was empowering to transform it into something else that I adore! I even reused my old setting to set a loose kunzite I had. Waste not, want not :)
 

athenaworth

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When everyone gave you the shout out, I searched profiles to try to find yours...is it the one in your picture? It is stunning as well! My divorce was over 5 years ago, so the pain has long since passed....I recommend to everyone going through one to repurpose their rings (as long as they can separate the emotion from the rock). It really was empowering to transform it into something else that I adore! I even reused my old setting to set a loose kunzite I had. Waste not, want not :)

It is! I'm not allowed to post actual pictures here because I'm trade but I think I'm within the rules by using it as my profile picture.

I had an excellent time figuring out the design I wanted to do with mine. I agree that it's super empowering and it's also quite cathartic.

I sold my old setting to a PS friend who has a gorgeous tanzanite in it. I love that it has a loving home too.
 

Vampira

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May 20, 2014
Messages
87
SO gorgeous! Love the geometry and color pop, this is really a knockout.
 

elizabethess

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Feb 18, 2016
Messages
397
I adore this ring just as a ring, knowing the wonderful symbolism behind it is just another layer of excellence :) Wear in good health!

Edit to add (because I forgot the second part): I'd totally do a repurpose of my first marriage's ring, but I don't think it lends itself to re-working. I just wore an eternity band with 3 rows of pave, never did an e-ring, so there's no significant stone to save.
 

doberman

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Mar 2, 2012
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2,417
Awesome design, beautiful ring!
 

Tekate

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May 11, 2013
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7,570
When I divorced I put my engagement ring away - I was so sad.. But I went to a local jeweler and bought an teeney weeney aquamarine and had th jeweler halo set it.. it's way too small now and it's missing a diamond but someday I will have it fixed and give it to my DIL or someone who means a lot to me.

I'm glad you were able to turn the sadness of divorce into something alive and beautiiful! kudos to you.
 

LLJsmom

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Gorgeous ring!! :love:
 

arkieb1

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May 11, 2012
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9,786
Beautiful symbolic ring, a perfect demonstration of strength and resilience given the circumstances.
 

teslagirl1234

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Aug 30, 2017
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481
Fantastic job! I might be getting a divorce soon. My husband is abusive and has a lot of mental health issues that I did not know until after getting married. An Art Deco ring would be a treat! I have a 5 ct super sparkler that I don’t want to sell. I love it as a solitaire as I think it makes it sparkle more. Would it be super weird to wear a solitaire on middle finger? Any ideas for how to turn it into a fashion ring would be super!
 

diamondseeker2006

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Jan 11, 2006
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58,547
Fantastic job! I might be getting a divorce soon. My husband is abusive and has a lot of mental health issues that I did not know until after getting married. An Art Deco ring would be a treat! I have a 5 ct super sparkler that I don’t want to sell. I love it as a solitaire as I think it makes it sparkle more. Would it be super weird to wear a solitaire on middle finger? Any ideas for how to turn it into a fashion ring would be super!

I'd set a small diamond on either side of the big diamond and make a 3 stone ring and wear it on your right hand. I hope maybe counseling might be possible, though, to work through some of the problems. Take care!
 

icy_jade

Ideal_Rock
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May 1, 2009
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6,131
I’m sorry to hear of your situation but you sound like a really strong person and glad that you are moving forward. That is a really stunning ring and the workmanship looks really good. Do you mind sharing more details about the ctw of the diamonds and emeralds?

Is “making lemonade from lemons the right description here?
 

acv123

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Sep 28, 2017
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303
wow absolutely beautiful, I've never seen anything like it!
 

LJsapphire

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Apr 24, 2016
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Since I've officially come out of lurking status on this site, I thought this would be a fun thread (fun?). After my divorce, I wanted to turn my diamond into a divorce ring. I felt naked on my left hand and realized wearing something on my middle finger made me less conscious of what was missing. My son's birthstone is emerald, so the design thought behind the ring is that the marriage created my son and I am forever grateful for his presence.
The ring also symbolizes to me the strength it took to survive divorce, a baby and unemployment all at the same time.

I joke now that if I ever put a ring on my left finger again, it will have to blow my divorce ring out of the water ;-)

I'm curious to see if anybody else turned their old wedding rings into something fabulous!

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Fabulous idea, stunning ring and I love the sentiment behind it.
I haven't done anything with my previous wedding/engagement rings but they aren't much to write home about. :P2
 

teslagirl1234

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I'd set a small diamond on either side of the big diamond and make a 3 stone ring and wear it on your right hand. I hope maybe counseling might be possible, though, to work through some of the problems. Take care!
Believe me I have tried counseling and multiple therapist are telling me I need to leave. It’s really hard to walk away from someone you love, but when he doesn’t respect you and us outright scary sometimes, you have to love yourself first.
 

athenaworth

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Believe me I have tried counseling and multiple therapist are telling me I need to leave. It’s really hard to walk away from someone you love, but when he doesn’t respect you and us outright scary sometimes, you have to love yourself first.

I've been in your shoes. If you're anything like me you'll wake up in the middle of the night and realize that you need to love yourself more than him, but until then it's a process. I really understand. My best thoughts go out to you. It's never easy, but know there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
 

teslagirl1234

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I've been in your shoes. If you're anything like me you'll wake up in the middle of the night and realize that you need to love yourself more than him, but until then it's a process. I really understand. My best thoughts go out to you. It's never easy, but know there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
I have had these middle of night wake up moments and then I keep wanting to believe it will get better. If after a year the person keeps lying, breaking promises, etc., after for a year saying it won’t happen anymore, what do you do? How long do you wait? Not sure if we were honestly even a good match to begin with. It was mostly attraction. We married quickly too. It’s so excruciatingly painful to walk away especially in a cycle of abuse when person is so nice, then so cruel, then nice, then cruel... My therapist he has multiple personality disorders, touching on psychopathy as he disassociates and doesn’t feel his emotions. When there is no empathy because someone is closed off emotionally, they act empathetic for a while as it’s logical to them or what they are supposed for do, but it doesn’t last. Eventually they get comfortable and stop acting and their true self and nature shows. His is major anger, resentment, blame, hostility. When someone tells you, “I’m going to walk away before I smack you,” threatens to kick door down, break things in house, and even after restraining order acts out, it’s probably time to go, right? I was silly enough to dismiss a restraining order thinking it would be better. I kept thinking that I don’t want to take my ring off if I get divorced, that I’m finally so happy with it, that I don’t want to be alone, but I feel alone in this relationship already, and I paid for half my ring and most of my jewelry myself. Either someone adds to your life, or takes away from it. Is really tough to go through a divorce as a lot of people are critical and feel like you haven’t tried enough but when there is the danger of the person being violent or when he is a liar and could make up a story for the police if I try to call to protect myself to try to get me into trouble and it’s so unstable the relationship, I guess safety is supposed to come first but I am still struggling with coming to terms with the fact that my own husband can be so cruel violent and scary. That I married someone who I though was soooo different. I can’t even just break up. I have to basically disappear for fear he will flip out again.
 

HDer

Brilliant_Rock
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Aug 20, 2017
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694
I have had these middle of night wake up moments and then I keep wanting to believe it will get better. If after a year the person keeps lying, breaking promises, etc., after for a year saying it won’t happen anymore, what do you do? How long do you wait? Not sure if we were honestly even a good match to begin with. It was mostly attraction. We married quickly too. It’s so excruciatingly painful to walk away especially in a cycle of abuse when person is so nice, then so cruel, then nice, then cruel... My therapist he has multiple personality disorders, touching on psychopathy as he disassociates and doesn’t feel his emotions. When there is no empathy because someone is closed off emotionally, they act empathetic for a while as it’s logical to them or what they are supposed for do, but it doesn’t last. Eventually they get comfortable and stop acting and their true self and nature shows. His is major anger, resentment, blame, hostility. When someone tells you, “I’m going to walk away before I smack you,” threatens to kick door down, break things in house, and even after restraining order acts out, it’s probably time to go, right? I was silly enough to dismiss a restraining order thinking it would be better. I kept thinking that I don’t want to take my ring off if I get divorced, that I’m finally so happy with it, that I don’t want to be alone, but I feel alone in this relationship already, and I paid for half my ring and most of my jewelry myself. Either someone adds to your life, or takes away from it. Is really tough to go through a divorce as a lot of people are critical and feel like you haven’t tried enough but when there is the danger of the person being violent or when he is a liar and could make up a story for the police if I try to call to protect myself to try to get me into trouble and it’s so unstable the relationship, I guess safety is supposed to come first but I am still struggling with coming to terms with the fact that my own husband can be so cruel violent and scary. That I married someone who I though was soooo different. I can’t even just break up. I have to basically disappear for fear he will flip out again.

I remember your old thread @teslagirl1234. Sorry to hear things haven't turned out for the better. Lots of hugs!!! :(2:(2
 

Ally T

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Oct 24, 2012
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@teslagirl1234 My heart breaks for you & your situation. It sounds to me as though you have done everything in your power to change him, including the restraining order which he ignored, and therapy. I once lived with a guy who whilst wasn't physically abusive to me, was mentally abusive. The more times somebody says you're ugly, nobody will ever love you like I do, you're nothing without me, you're fat, the more times you believe them. It works in reverse too - the more times they say sorry, say that they love you, that it'll never happen again.... well, you just drink it in & believe it.

I cannot imagine what you are going through & perhaps you should make a new thread in Hangout for advice & experiences of these things, as PSers are the best at unbiased advice. But I WILL say that it was only when I finally had a complete out of control moment & left whilst he was away on a business trip, that I actually saw the situation for what it was. And I just couldn't believe how i had put up with him & his behaviour, just because my love for him excused it all??!!

I won't go on, but I will say that the day he went away for the week, I sold my car for peanuts to the first bidder (lost $40k on that bad boy), invited my girlfriends around for pizza & then we proceeded to drink the ENTIRE wine collection from the area in the cellar that was out of bounds because they were 'investments'. The next day I got on a plane, left my wonderful life in New Zealand & flew back to the UK & the open arms of my mummy. Good luck, beautiful. You are worth far more than you realise. Big hugs.
 
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Crystal_Dreams

Brilliant_Rock
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Aug 25, 2014
Messages
808
Teslagirl, do what’s right for you and what you feel you need to do. If that’s staying to try, that’s fine. It sounds like you’ve tried that though with no luck. If it’s leaving, that’s also fine! I think you’ll find that those who are truly your friends will not be critical, but supportive of whatever decision you choose to make.

Reset your gorgeous sparkler into something you WILL wear and enjoy it in good health. I can’t stand the sight of my ering so it’s gone and I will never wear it again. However, I DO wear my gorgeous OEC halo on whichever finger I feel like. It’s usually the middle finger, but if I feel like it, I’ll wear it on my ring finger on the other hand too! That ring was made for ME and me alone. We don’t need a man to wear pretty bling!

5cts is HUGE lol or I would’ve suggested putting it into a rose gold halo like mine :) I like the idea of a 3 stone ring- what about with gemstones, to make it less ering-like?
 

teslagirl1234

Shiny_Rock
Trade
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Aug 30, 2017
Messages
481
@teslagirl1234 My heart breaks for you & your situation. It sounds to me as though you have done everything in your power to change him, including the restraining order which he ignored, and therapy. I once lived with a guy who whilst wasn't physically abusive to me, was mentally abusive. The more times somebody says you're ugly, nobody will ever love you like I do, you're nothing without me, you're fat, the more times you believe them. It works in reverse too - the more times they say sorry, say that they love you, that it'll never happen again.... well, you just drink it in & believe it.

I cannot imagine what you are going through & perhaps you should make a new thread in Hangout for advice & experiences of these things, as PSers are the best at unbiased advice. But I WILL say that it was only when I finally had a complete out of control moment & left whilst he was away on a business trip, that I actually saw the situation for what it was. And I just couldn't believe how i had put up with him & his behaviour, just because my love for him excused it all??!!

I won't go on, but I will say that the day he went away for the week, I sold my car for peanuts to the first bidder (lost $40k on that bad boy), invited my girlfriends around for pizza & then we proceeded to drink the ENTIRE wine collection from the area in the cellar that was out of bounds because they were 'investments'. The next day I got on a plane, left my wonderful life in New Zealand & flew back to the UK & the open arms of my mummy. Good luck, beautiful. You are worth far more than you realise. Big hugs.

Aww thank you so much for the good advice and support! When you're still completely in love and desperately wanting it to work, it's easy to fall for the nice moments, but they never last. Will have to make a post on other board soon, especially about re design of the ring. :) It really helps to know I am not the only one going thru this. Thank you again for the kind words and support.
 
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