disappointed...

[diamondseeker2006]

Cehra, this is not meant to discourage you..it is just an observation considering this and Gypsy's experience this week. I feel like these designers are not used to quite this much input. Most people probably provide a few pictures and sketches and let the designer design the ring. A designer is putting their name on the piece, so to speak, so I think they at least partly want some input into the design. This is a different situation than taking a pattern and fabric to a dressmaker and telling them to make what is on the pattern. I doubt Oscar de La Renta really wants to make a dress for me soley by my drawings or photos!

I really feel like you were getting close to what you wanted with the jeweler who did this wax for you. I have no idea how much you paid for the work up through that point, but it seems like there is already a considerable investment in time, if nothing else. No one is going to want to take on a job if it is going to take endless hours to work out the design to please a customer. It just won't be worth it to them.

 

[widget]

Date: 2/12/2007 7:51:43 PM
Author: diamondseeker2006
I feel like these designers are not used to quite this much input..... A designer is putting there name on the piece, so to speak, so I think they at least partly want some input into the design. This is a different situation than taking a pattern and fabric to a dressmaker and telling them to make what is on the pattern. I doubt Oscar de La Renta really wants to make a dress for me soley by my drawings or photos!

Interesting point, DS....I''ve been thinking the same thing lately...

widget

 

[gail013]

Oh Cehra-

I know how long you have been at this, and I empathize with you. I know my jeweler/designer told me knowing what I wanted made it so much worse. Most people just take what they get and assume the desiner knows best. I must have missed this info, but who is Ocean and where did you find her?

 

[Cehrabehra]

Okay...

Ocean called me this afternoon and we had a nice long woman to woman talk and it turns out that we had a huge misunderstanding. She was in a lot of pain and I was feeling kinda vulnerable and pessimistic... and somewhere we totally crossed wires and have patched everything up.

Turns out she actually isn''t as inflexible as I feared - quite the opposite really. What she was laying out to me was "worst case" and didn''t mean for it to sound like the end all of things. She WILL work in gold... things are not as dismal as they seemed... but we''ll be working out the details and compromises etc. together.

Now, the more I talk to this woman, the more I like her and the more I connect with her... but she is somewhat uncomfortable with this whole online thing for during the process and this is probably a perfect example as to why. She gave me the feeling today that she considers this a collaboration and that''s all I could ask for really. She is beyond talented and I wish wish wish she would let me share some of the things she''s done... just truly amazing stuff among the best of the best of the best of what we''ve seen here.

So... in conclusion... all of the wonderful things I said about her I still mean every word... all of my insane obsessing over the prongs can just be chalked up to me being an idiot... and out of respect to her and this, we''re going to keep it all off the boards until its done at which point we can do a retrospective.

I learned so much today about communication and being frank about wants/needs and I just wanted to take a moment to say that I think part of my knee jerk reaction was because of the mark morrell thread... I just assumed that her *concerns* were her way of saying thanks but no thanks... that if I didn''t bend to the artist''s whim then I wasn''t welcome and let me tell you that I was WRONG WRONG WRONG and she is NOTHING like that. I don''t know what went wrong today but I am more convinced than ever that this is one special lady... She is a very warm woman and I beg her forgiveness and will shut up now

Gypsy - you''d like her

Now - to everyone else.... Thank you for your support, your encouragement, your desire to keep my sanity (ha - if you only knew it was already gone!), and even your concerns and criticisms... you have NO idea how appreciated you are. I may have been an irrational bubblehead today - but that was where I was and I needed all of you to do exactly what you did and I just wanted to say thanks This stuff is hard sometimes, especially when we have no idea how to do it... but with the support of our jewelsistahs it really helps

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 2/12/2007 7:51:43 PM
Author: diamondseeker2006
Cehra, this is not meant to discourage you..it is just an observation considering this and Gypy''s experience this week. I feel like these designers are not used to quite this much input. Most people probably provide a few pictures and sketches and let the designer design the ring. A designer is putting there name on the piece, so to speak, so I think they at least partly want some input into the design. This is a different situation than taking a pattern and fabric to a dressmaker and telling them to make what is on the pattern. I doubt Oscar de La Renta really wants to make a dress for me soley by my drawings or photos!

Actually... I think she''s used to at least this much input but I won''t go into why... now that we have our own channel of communication apart from email and apart from being in a webinar... I think things will be very different. I do agree that some designers may be exactly like that... but I don''t think that''s the case here.

 

[mrssalvo]

cehra, I am so glad to hear this. that is just beyond wonderful. I completely understand wanting to keep things off the boards during the process and think it''s a very good idea actually. I really cannot wait to see how this project turns out for you and to see how she took all of your 12 pages and turns them into a family heirloom ring.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 2/12/2007 8:52:49 PM
Author: mrssalvo
cehra, I am so glad to hear this. that is just beyond wonderful. I completely understand wanting to keep things off the boards during the process and think it''s a very good idea actually. I really cannot wait to see how this project turns out for you and to see how she took all of your 12 pages and turns them into a family heirloom ring.

Ditto. And look forward to seeing your beautiful ring once it''s finished. I had a feeling this would all come together for you. And here it did, so yay!!!!

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 2/12/2007 8:52:49 PM
Author: mrssalvo
cehra, I am so glad to hear this. that is just beyond wonderful. I completely understand wanting to keep things off the boards during the process and think it''s a very good idea actually. I really cannot wait to see how this project turns out for you and to see how she took all of your 12 pages and turns them into a family heirloom ring.

You know... before when I worked with the local gal I kept wanting to come here to say, "should I do this or that" because she never would give me her input!! "either would be fine I think" I always wanted to be able to work WITH her and now I really believe I have someone that I can work *with*. I feel like such a doofus.

 

[FireGoddess]

I certainly can''t wait to see the finished product and am glad that things are progressing! I can understand wanting to keep things between the two of you until the project is finished. I hope it turns out exactly like you want it!

 

[Dee*Jay]

Cehra, it sounds like you are well on your way to a beautiful ring being made with a designer that you have finally "connected" with. It doesn''t get any better than that--congratulations!!!

 

[widget]

YIPPEE!!!!!!

I''m SO GLAD to hear you guys have worked it out.....and I think it''s an excellent idea to keep your colaboration private.

Have fun!
widget

 

[movie zombie]

i agree with widget on all counts.

movie zombie

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 2/12/2007 9:32:09 PM
Author: movie zombie
i agree with widget on all counts.

movie zombie

LOL! I''m just chuckling because if I wasn''t so all over the place I could have just learned from YOUR experience in the first place

 

[diamondseeker2006]

That is great news, Cehra! I am so glad you were able to talk with her. Communication is so very important!

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 2/12/2007 10:55:05 PM
Author: diamondseeker2006
That is great news, Cehra! I am so glad you were able to talk with her. Communication is so very important!

no kidding! ::whew:: someone needs to write a book on this... what do you expect, what should you expect, different personality types... because some people AND some jewelers look at 15 pages of details and pictures and are relieved the ts are crossed and the is are dotted.... and others just... don''t. I made the mistake today of putting two very talented people in the same category and I was totally wrong. I really wish there were instructions!!!

 

[Stone Hunter]

Oh good. I'm glad it was all a misunderstanding. Have fun working with her and don't forget to show us photos when you can. I understand that she doesn't want us 2nd guessing her ever step of the way. We'll just wait for the final photos.

Edited for spelling. Of course LOL.

 

[Cehrabehra]

you guys.. am I just a total ass or what? i''ve been feeling horrible awful all day today.... first because I felt just totally sunk that things weren''t working and I really needed to talk it out.... and then of course being WRONG is no fun, so of course I feel horrible still but in a guilty miserable way... and I know I''m a total ass but I''m hoping someone will tell me I''m not really the biggest ass out there because I really feel like I am. Deco - don''t answer that!

 

[Gypsy]

Oh Cehra, I''m so glad that you an Ocean talked it all out and came to an understanding. I''m sure I would like her! I can''t wait to see your completed ring!

 

[Shay37]

Date: 2/12/2007 11:46:21 PM
Author: Cehrabehra
you guys.. am I just a total ass or what? i''ve been feeling horrible awful all day today.... first because I felt just totally sunk that things weren''t working and I really needed to talk it out.... and then of course being WRONG is no fun, so of course I feel horrible still but in a guilty miserable way... and I know I''m a total ass but I''m hoping someone will tell me I''m not really the biggest ass out there because I really feel like I am. Deco - don''t answer that!

Nope, you''re fine. A little anal perhaps.

Sorry, couldn''t resist the a$$ crack. This has been a long and tiring and nervous and enervating process all at once. Then you hear of a designer who didn''t want input, and you seemed to be getting the same message.

It was a simple misunderstanding, honey. Don''t let it get in your head. You have spoken to Ocean, and you guys have connected at a whole new level. Who knows, you thought you found a designer, maybe you found a friend. Hence the guilt you''re feeling right now for freaking a little (or a lot)

about the misunderstanding. Let it go.

The one thing I have found to be true in life is that I am always less forgiving of my mistakes or whatever than other people are. I apologize, and I mean it, and then I HAVE to find a way to forgive myself. Otherwise, you second guess yourself to death. So from one anal PSer to another, KNOCK IT OFF ALREADY

We still love you.

shay

 

[Kaleigh]

Cehra,
Thing is it''s all solved now, and you two are on the same page. She will bring your vision to life. I am very happy for you. Trust me, I had a hard time bringing my asscher RHR to life. I think that''s why I have so many dang posts!!! I think I had 3 or 4 threads!!

Can''t wait for the day that you post your pics in SMTR!!! That will be a happy day indeed!!!!!

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 2/13/2007 12:10:53 AM
Author: Kaleigh
Cehra,
Thing is it''s all solved now, and you two are on the same page. She will bring your vision to life. I am very happy for you. Trust me, I had a hard time bringing my asscher RHR to life. I think that''s why I have so many dang posts!!! I think I had 3 or 4 threads!!

Can''t wait for the day that you post your pics in SMTR!!! That will be a happy day indeed!!!!!

I know - all of the "aunties" will have to come visit LOL BTW YOu said there were some issues with durability? with your ring - the pave.... I gotta go ack and see if you answered when I asked about that in that pave thread....

 

[Cehrabehra]

shay - THANK YOU thank you - that''s exactly what I needed to hear - you''re right, I am very forgiving of others and its hard to let things go and forgive yourself... and that anal joke just about made me spew my soda LOL I still feel bad but I''m not having a good day so I''ll sleep before I dwell on it any longer!!

 

[KristyDarling]

Cehra -- I''m so glad that you and Ocean talked things out and are now feeling each other''s vibe. Sometimes that''s all it takes, a straightforward conversation. I can''t wait to see that beautiful stone FINALLY set into a ring!!!

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 2/12/2007 11:46:21 PM
Author: Cehrabehra
Deco - don''t answer that!

LMAO

Hey!! I was "good" today & stayed the heck out of the goings on! Though def count me "in" for the future unveiling & picture drooling etc ...

 

[pyramid]

That is great news Cehra. Looking forward to seeing the ring complete. I understand too it being kept off the boards until it is done. It would be good though if when it is finished and you are very happy with it, for Wink, Ocean and Yourself to do a Wnk TV showing us all the steps and all that. Ofcourse everyone would have to be in agreement to that idea. I know Ocean is a professional designer but I can imagine if I could do all that, I probably wouldn't want to hear input along the way from amateurs who don't understand the technicalities and whom she has no time to explain them to and those people then creating an improper and skewed view of what her skills are.
Can't wait to see the final ring and hope all goes well and it is not toooooo long.

 

[Ellen]

cehra, great news!

*keeping my fingers crossed*

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 2/13/2007 12:28:07 AM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 2/12/2007 11:46:21 PM
Author: Cehrabehra
Deco - don''t answer that!

LMAO

Hey!! I was ''good'' today & stayed the heck out of the goings on! Though def count me ''in'' for the future unveiling & picture drooling etc ...

 

[Lorelei]

Cehra, I know you will end up with something wonderful when it is done, hang in there

 

[WinkHPD]

Wow. Reminds me of some commercial where they say miss a __________ miss a lot. (I can''t remember what it was they were missing or selling for that matter, must not have been a very effective ad.)

I took my daughter to the airport, came back to the office, felt like poop, still could not get ahold of Ocean, who was teaching a class of many many kids, pulled the plug and went home to get some rest. Computer wont connect from home and I miss EVERYTHING until I finally get it working late this morning, but was already late for work and still had not contacted Ocean so in spite of seeing that there are more than 40 replies I did not even open the thread.

I get to the office, Ocean has called me to tell me that every thing is fine, but of course I was late and did not get to take her call because I was not here because I was home working on the computer and and and and and and...

Finally get to talk with Ocean who explained about metal memory in 14kt and flat setting with platinum (push the metal up to the stone and it stays put) and why the length of the prongs without support was going to cause problems unless changes were made, etc etc etc, and now that she has talked with Cehra that every thing is back on track.

Whew!

Rest assured, we want this job, AND we will NOT do it if it can not be done safely with structural integrity. Cehra now understands that wanting to make some changes does NOT mean we do not want her input, she is, after all, the one who will wear the ring. We just want, and need, to find a way to make the ring in a manner that does not sacrifice structural integrity, nor change it so much that Cehra will be unhappy. Being willing to say "no", does not mean not wanting to say "yes".

I am happy that Cehra and Ocean are talking and doing it between themselves. I am not a bench jeweler and do not necessarily understand the technical issues, that is why it is important for me not to be the translator. I too look forward to seeing the finished ring, as it should be quite something when it is finished!

Wink

 

[Cehrabehra]

Date: 2/13/2007 1:23:58 PM
Author: Wink
Wow. Reminds me of some commercial where they say miss a __________ miss a lot. (I can''t remember what it was they were missing or selling for that matter, must not have been a very effective ad.)

I took my daughter to the airport, came back to the office, felt like poop, still could not get ahold of Ocean, who was teaching a class of many many kids, pulled the plug and went home to get some rest. Computer wont connect from home and I miss EVERYTHING until I finally get it working late this morning, but was already late for work and still had not contacted Ocean so in spite of seeing that there are more than 40 replies I did not even open the thread.

I get to the office, Ocean has called me to tell me that every thing is fine, but of course I was late and did not get to take her call because I was not here because I was home working on the computer and and and and and and...

Finally get to talk with Ocean who explained about metal memory in 14kt and flat setting with platinum (push the metal up to the stone and it stays put) and why the length of the prongs without support was going to cause problems unless changes were made, etc etc etc, and now that she has talked with Cehra that every thing is back on track.

Whew!

Rest assured, we want this job, AND we will NOT do it if it can not be done safely with structural integrity. Cehra now understands that wanting to make some changes does NOT mean we do not want her input, she is, after all, the one who will wear the ring. We just want, and need, to find a way to make the ring in a manner that does not sacrifice structural integrity, nor change it so much that Cehra will be unhappy. Being willing to say ''no'', does not mean not wanting to say ''yes''.

I am happy that Cehra and Ocean are talking and doing it between themselves. I am not a bench jeweler and do not necessarily understand the technical issues, that is why it is important for me not to be the translator. I too look forward to seeing the finished ring, as it should be quite something when it is finished!

Wink

Yeah I didn''t get a good vibe from you yesterday either wink - I think all of us had stuff going on and it just went kattywonker in the communication dept. The internet is both bane and boon... which brings me to a thought I''ve had today that I think deserves its own thread but I''m not sure how to approach it... I think I''ll just dive in and see where it goes...