Diamond regret :( please advise me how to move forward!

[purplesilk]

I didn't join this thread before just because I really hoped other PSers were able to to put your mind at peace.
Tough situation: I've been there before so I know how you're feeling:
- sad and nervous because you missed the opportunity to get the "perfect" e-ring at the first attempt,
- sad and but nervous for the wasted money
- sad and nervous at the thought of being ungrateful,
- sad and nervous because you could have taken your time to educate yourself before buying...
...IMO you'll never be satisfied with your current diamond!
I think you have some options:
1) ask your local jeweller to look for a diamond within the PS recommended parameters: the process could take months/years and some money but it's worth trying.
Since your fiancee did a good generous job letting yourself choose your expensive e-ring, please don't involve him in the stressful process: spend your time and spend your own money to get what your heart wants!
If and when you get your perfect diamond, simply tell your fiancee you were able to get an exchange.
2) sell the diamond to your local jeweller and buy a new diamond from a PS recommended seller: you'll surely lose a lot of money, but you can start it all again.
Also in this case, tell your fiancee you got another diamond but use your own money to get the new diamond.
3) put your current stone in a necklace and buy yourself a lab diamond: use your own money, don't involve your fiancee in the process, just tell him you got another diamond.

A couple of years ago husband gifted me a solitaire ring with a 1.7 ct F IF natural diamond that I really hate: husband did it all by himself, it was meant to be
an anniversary+big birthday surprise gift ...it left me with an emotional baggage of unpleasant feelings!!!

Husband realized he made a huge mistake by not letting me choose, but the purchase was done and he couldn't get his money back: I was/am unhappy with the crappy diamond; he was/is unhappy because he made me unhappy; we both hate the ring because it reminds us of unpleasant discussions we had about it.
I tried plan 1) but it didn't go well till now.
Unfortunately husband bought the stone just before the fall of the natural diamond prices, so I have to wait for the rise of the natural diamond market if I decide to sell it and use the money to get what I want: what I know for sure is that, if I need to add money, I'll spend my own money.
What I learnt from this experience:
- thank your SO for the generous gift,
- don't pretend to like the diamond if you don't,
- if your SO can't have his money back or he can't exchange with something you like better, spend your own time and money to get what you want.
The row to your perfect diamond is narrow and long: spend your time and your money; don't stress your SO and don't get the risk of fighting over an useless piece of carbon.
Just MY experience and MY opinion.
[I'm a fan of 60/60 diamonds but that's just my taste].

 

[snakeysam24]

Hi!
Thanks for your reply! I agree with you in terms of just doing things on my own..in fact when I went back to speak to the jeweler I didn’t tell my fiance I just went and did it. I think my jeweler was confused as in the UK the term ‘super ideal’ isn’t really well known - particularly amongst those who have been selling diamonds for many years like he has but when I used the term ‘hearts and arrows’ he knew what I was referring to. He said he could absolutely source me that sort of diamond if I wanted to spend more money - they offer 100% trade in even if you only spend a little bit more. But he was adamant that I would like mine more based on what I told him or not see much of a difference - he also said that mine does have a good amount of contrast for the cut which based on some photos (I’ll attach one) I think it does but I am not expert..of course it’s not SIC standard! That put my mind at rest too - I don’t know what a SIC looks like in person but at this point do I really to? I think my diamond looks lovely and when I’ve looked online at SIC on the hand I can’t notice a massive difference if any to be honest. I like that mine is big and white and to me it does sparkle ‍ albeit I don’t have anything to compare it to.

I actually think my best option is to love this diamond for a couple of heats or however long I decide - I have a feeling I will become emotionally attached to it and not want to let it go! But if I don’t after which point I may ask the jeweler to source me a SIC with me explaining exactly what I want and consider a trade in - a 100% trade in policy seems pretty good to me and I think considering this is my first ever diamond its a measured and sensible approach.

As you say I may well prefer my 60/60 the research rabbit hole got to me!

I didn't join this thread before just because I really hoped other PSers were able to to put your mind at peace.
Tough situation: I've been there before so I know how you're feeling:
- sad and nervous because you missed the opportunity to get the "perfect" e-ring at the first attempt,
- sad and but nervous for the wasted money
- sad and nervous at the thought of being ungrateful,
- sad and nervous because you could have taken your time to educate yourself before buying...
...IMO you'll never be satisfied with your current diamond!
I think you have some options:
1) ask your local jeweller to look for a diamond within the PS recommended parameters: the process could take months/years and some money but it's worth trying.
Since your fiancee did a good generous job letting yourself choose your expensive e-ring, please don't involve him in the stressful process: spend your time and spend your own money to get what your heart wants!
If and when you get your perfect diamond, simply tell your fiancee you were able to get an exchange.
2) sell the diamond to your local jeweller and buy a new diamond from a PS recommended seller: you'll surely lose a lot of money, but you can start it all again.
Also in this case, tell your fiancee you got another diamond but use your own money to get the new diamond.
3) put your current stone in a necklace and buy yourself a lab diamond: use your own money, don't involve your fiancee in the process, just tell him you got another diamond.

A couple of years ago husband gifted me a solitaire ring with a 1.7 ct F IF natural diamond that I really hate: husband did it all by himself, it was meant to be
an anniversary+big birthday surprise gift ...it left me with an emotional baggage of unpleasant feelings!!!

Husband realized he made a huge mistake by not letting me choose, but the purchase was done and he couldn't get his money back: I was/am unhappy with the crappy diamond; he was/is unhappy because he made me unhappy; we both hate the ring because it reminds us of unpleasant discussions we had about it.
I tried plan 1) but it didn't go well till now.
Unfortunately husband bought the stone just before the fall of the natural diamond prices, so I have to wait for the rise of the natural diamond market if I decide to sell it and use the money to get what I want: what I know for sure is that, if I need to add money, I'll spend my own money.
What I learnt from this experience:
- thank your SO for the generous gift,
- don't pretend to like the diamond if you don't,
- if your SO can't have his money back or he can't exchange with something you like better, spend your own time and money to get what you want.
The row to your perfect diamond is narrow and long: spend your time and your money; don't stress your SO and don't get the risk of fighting over an useless piece of carbon.
Just MY experience and MY opinion.
[I'm a fan of 60/60 diamonds but that's just my taste].

 

[purplesilk]

I have a five stone ring where the center stone is a 60/60 modern brilliant cut diamond and it has been set between 2 modern brilliant cut diamonds that fall within PS parameters (all the diamonds are F color and almost the same clarity, so I'm comparing apples to apples): the center diamond is always white and bright, while the side stones go dark in the sun and their fire is not that appealing to me, so my preference goes to the 60/60 diamond.
Old cuts are another beast: I have a small but mighty OEC that I adore, I'm so in love with the pastels it throws.

 

[purplesilk]

I'm European too, so I can relate to the problems of buying an expensive diamond from the US market.

 

[snakeysam24]

Ah really! Did you buy your SIC from the US online? That’s really reassuring to me that you prefer your 60/60 I’d love to see a photo of the ring if you wouldn’t mind sharing!

Yes I don’t know if you saw my reply above somewhere but the jeweller did show me an OEC and I thought it was very pretty - a very different kind of pretty to my 60/60 but I think I’d like to own one of these someday

I have a five stone ring where the center stone is a 60/60 modern brilliant cut diamond and it has been set between 2 modern brilliant cut diamonds that fall within PS parameters (all the diamonds are F color and almost the same clarity, so I'm comparing apples to apples): the center diamond is always white and bright, while the side stones go dark in the sun and their fire is not that appealing to me, so my preference goes to the 60/60 diamond.
Old cuts are another beast: I have a small but mighty OEC that I adore, I'm so in love with the pastels it throws.

 

[purplesilk]

Ah really! Did you buy your SIC from the US online? That’s really reassuring to me that you prefer your 60/60 I’d love to see a photo of the ring if you wouldn’t mind sharing!

Yes I don’t know if you saw my reply above somewhere but the jeweller did show me an OEC and I thought it was very pretty - a very different kind of pretty to my 60/60 but I think I’d like to own one of these someday

I didn't buy from the US, I bought from my local jeweller.
Sorry, my pictures suck: they can't capture the diffent behaviour of the diamonds.
In the third picture the center stone is showing some color: 60/60 diamonds are cut to give back more white flashes, but they also give back rainbow colors.

 

[snakeysam24]

Ah yes I can see the contrast in the side stones and more of a brilliance in the centre! Mine does seem to throw off some fire too ‍

I didn't buy from the US, I bought from my local jeweller.
Sorry, my pictures suck: they can't capture the diffent behaviour of the diamonds.
In the third picture the center stone is showing some color: 60/60 diamonds are cut to give back more white flashes, but they also give back rainbow colors.

 

[snakeysam24]

 

[purplesilk]

My advice if you're not 100% happy with your stone:
- take your time to educate yourself about diamonds and how to "read" certificates
- select a bunch of diamonds from your local jeweller
- ask him to let you compare candidates side by side
- trust your eyes: you're gonna wear the diamond, not the certificate
- choose what makes your heart sing.