Diamond regret :( please advise me how to move forward!

[purplesilk]

I didn't join this thread before just because I really hoped other PSers were able to to put your mind at peace.
Tough situation: I've been there before so I know how you're feeling:
- sad and nervous because you missed the opportunity to get the "perfect" e-ring at the first attempt,
- sad and but nervous for the wasted money
- sad and nervous at the thought of being ungrateful,
- sad and nervous because you could have taken your time to educate yourself before buying...
...IMO you'll never be satisfied with your current diamond!
I think you have some options:
1) ask your local jeweller to look for a diamond within the PS recommended parameters: the process could take months/years and some money but it's worth trying.
Since your fiancee did a good generous job letting yourself choose your expensive e-ring, please don't involve him in the stressful process: spend your time and spend your own money to get what your heart wants!
If and when you get your perfect diamond, simply tell your fiancee you were able to get an exchange.
2) sell the diamond to your local jeweller and buy a new diamond from a PS recommended seller: you'll surely lose a lot of money, but you can start it all again.
Also in this case, tell your fiancee you got another diamond but use your own money to get the new diamond.
3) put your current stone in a necklace and buy yourself a lab diamond: use your own money, don't involve your fiancee in the process, just tell him you got another diamond.

A couple of years ago husband gifted me a solitaire ring with a 1.7 ct F IF natural diamond that I really hate: husband did it all by himself, it was meant to be
an anniversary+big birthday surprise gift ...it left me with an emotional baggage of unpleasant feelings!!!

Husband realized he made a huge mistake by not letting me choose, but the purchase was done and he couldn't get his money back: I was/am unhappy with the crappy diamond; he was/is unhappy because he made me unhappy; we both hate the ring because it reminds us of unpleasant discussions we had about it.
I tried plan 1) but it didn't go well till now.
Unfortunately husband bought the stone just before the fall of the natural diamond prices, so I have to wait for the rise of the natural diamond market if I decide to sell it and use the money to get what I want: what I know for sure is that, if I need to add money, I'll spend my own money.
What I learnt from this experience:
- thank your SO for the generous gift,
- don't pretend to like the diamond if you don't,
- if your SO can't have his money back or he can't exchange with something you like better, spend your own time and money to get what you want.
The row to your perfect diamond is narrow and long: spend your time and your money; don't stress your SO and don't get the risk of fighting over an useless piece of carbon.
Just MY experience and MY opinion.
[I'm a fan of 60/60 diamonds but that's just my taste].

 

[snakeysam24]

Hi!
Thanks for your reply! I agree with you in terms of just doing things on my own..in fact when I went back to speak to the jeweler I didn’t tell my fiance I just went and did it. I think my jeweler was confused as in the UK the term ‘super ideal’ isn’t really well known - particularly amongst those who have been selling diamonds for many years like he has but when I used the term ‘hearts and arrows’ he knew what I was referring to. He said he could absolutely source me that sort of diamond if I wanted to spend more money - they offer 100% trade in even if you only spend a little bit more. But he was adamant that I would like mine more based on what I told him or not see much of a difference - he also said that mine does have a good amount of contrast for the cut which based on some photos (I’ll attach one) I think it does but I am not expert..of course it’s not SIC standard! That put my mind at rest too - I don’t know what a SIC looks like in person but at this point do I really to? I think my diamond looks lovely and when I’ve looked online at SIC on the hand I can’t notice a massive difference if any to be honest. I like that mine is big and white and to me it does sparkle ‍ albeit I don’t have anything to compare it to.

I actually think my best option is to love this diamond for a couple of heats or however long I decide - I have a feeling I will become emotionally attached to it and not want to let it go! But if I don’t after which point I may ask the jeweler to source me a SIC with me explaining exactly what I want and consider a trade in - a 100% trade in policy seems pretty good to me and I think considering this is my first ever diamond its a measured and sensible approach.

As you say I may well prefer my 60/60 the research rabbit hole got to me!

I didn't join this thread before just because I really hoped other PSers were able to to put your mind at peace.
Tough situation: I've been there before so I know how you're feeling:
- sad and nervous because you missed the opportunity to get the "perfect" e-ring at the first attempt,
- sad and but nervous for the wasted money
- sad and nervous at the thought of being ungrateful,
- sad and nervous because you could have taken your time to educate yourself before buying...
...IMO you'll never be satisfied with your current diamond!
I think you have some options:
1) ask your local jeweller to look for a diamond within the PS recommended parameters: the process could take months/years and some money but it's worth trying.
Since your fiancee did a good generous job letting yourself choose your expensive e-ring, please don't involve him in the stressful process: spend your time and spend your own money to get what your heart wants!
If and when you get your perfect diamond, simply tell your fiancee you were able to get an exchange.
2) sell the diamond to your local jeweller and buy a new diamond from a PS recommended seller: you'll surely lose a lot of money, but you can start it all again.
Also in this case, tell your fiancee you got another diamond but use your own money to get the new diamond.
3) put your current stone in a necklace and buy yourself a lab diamond: use your own money, don't involve your fiancee in the process, just tell him you got another diamond.

A couple of years ago husband gifted me a solitaire ring with a 1.7 ct F IF natural diamond that I really hate: husband did it all by himself, it was meant to be
an anniversary+big birthday surprise gift ...it left me with an emotional baggage of unpleasant feelings!!!

Husband realized he made a huge mistake by not letting me choose, but the purchase was done and he couldn't get his money back: I was/am unhappy with the crappy diamond; he was/is unhappy because he made me unhappy; we both hate the ring because it reminds us of unpleasant discussions we had about it.
I tried plan 1) but it didn't go well till now.
Unfortunately husband bought the stone just before the fall of the natural diamond prices, so I have to wait for the rise of the natural diamond market if I decide to sell it and use the money to get what I want: what I know for sure is that, if I need to add money, I'll spend my own money.
What I learnt from this experience:
- thank your SO for the generous gift,
- don't pretend to like the diamond if you don't,
- if your SO can't have his money back or he can't exchange with something you like better, spend your own time and money to get what you want.
The row to your perfect diamond is narrow and long: spend your time and your money; don't stress your SO and don't get the risk of fighting over an useless piece of carbon.
Just MY experience and MY opinion.
[I'm a fan of 60/60 diamonds but that's just my taste].

 

[purplesilk]

I have a five stone ring where the center stone is a 60/60 modern brilliant cut diamond and it has been set between 2 modern brilliant cut diamonds that fall within PS parameters (all the diamonds are F color and almost the same clarity, so I'm comparing apples to apples): the center diamond is always white and bright, while the side stones go dark in the sun and their fire is not that appealing to me, so my preference goes to the 60/60 diamond.
Old cuts are another beast: I have a small but mighty OEC that I adore, I'm so in love with the pastels it throws.

 

[purplesilk]

I'm European too, so I can relate to the problems of buying an expensive diamond from the US market.

 

[snakeysam24]

Ah really! Did you buy your SIC from the US online? That’s really reassuring to me that you prefer your 60/60 I’d love to see a photo of the ring if you wouldn’t mind sharing!

Yes I don’t know if you saw my reply above somewhere but the jeweller did show me an OEC and I thought it was very pretty - a very different kind of pretty to my 60/60 but I think I’d like to own one of these someday

I have a five stone ring where the center stone is a 60/60 modern brilliant cut diamond and it has been set between 2 modern brilliant cut diamonds that fall within PS parameters (all the diamonds are F color and almost the same clarity, so I'm comparing apples to apples): the center diamond is always white and bright, while the side stones go dark in the sun and their fire is not that appealing to me, so my preference goes to the 60/60 diamond.
Old cuts are another beast: I have a small but mighty OEC that I adore, I'm so in love with the pastels it throws.

 

[purplesilk]

Ah really! Did you buy your SIC from the US online? That’s really reassuring to me that you prefer your 60/60 I’d love to see a photo of the ring if you wouldn’t mind sharing!

Yes I don’t know if you saw my reply above somewhere but the jeweller did show me an OEC and I thought it was very pretty - a very different kind of pretty to my 60/60 but I think I’d like to own one of these someday

I didn't buy from the US, I bought from my local jeweller.
Sorry, my pictures suck: they can't capture the diffent behaviour of the diamonds.
In the third picture the center stone is showing some color: 60/60 diamonds are cut to give back more white flashes, but they also give back rainbow colors.

 

[snakeysam24]

Ah yes I can see the contrast in the side stones and more of a brilliance in the centre! Mine does seem to throw off some fire too ‍

I didn't buy from the US, I bought from my local jeweller.
Sorry, my pictures suck: they can't capture the diffent behaviour of the diamonds.
In the third picture the center stone is showing some color: 60/60 diamonds are cut to give back more white flashes, but they also give back rainbow colors.

 

[snakeysam24]

 

[purplesilk]

My advice if you're not 100% happy with your stone:
- take your time to educate yourself about diamonds and how to "read" certificates
- select a bunch of diamonds from your local jeweller
- ask him to let you compare candidates side by side
- trust your eyes: you're gonna wear the diamond, not the certificate
- choose what makes your heart sing.

 

[snakeysam24]

Hi all,
Looking for some advice. I recently purchased an engagement ring (it is for myself from my finance romantic I know ha!) at considerable cost. When I chose the diamond I explained to the jeweller what I wanted and he we verbally agreed (probably my mistake) he did not show me any photos but trusting what I was told (that it would look like a Tiffany style) I agreed and paid the deposit. When I collected the ring it wasn’t what I expected. The jeweller told me to wear it for a couple of weeks and he would change it if I didn’t like it (again my mistake as I paid the full amount at this point). Anyway the craftmanship was not good so I returned and had it reset. At this point the jeweller showed me all the available ‘ready made’ options I didn’t like any of them but I felt under pressure to choose one so I did. It was reset and again I felt my expectations were not met. Roll on a couple of weeks and it is clear that the craftsmanship is poor and that I’ve been fobbed off with something they had in stock - which considering the agreement and price of the diamond I think is poor. The ring is very scratched, had noticeable soldering marks and one prong is bent. He said this is normal wear and tear but I’ve only had it a few weeks so surely not? Furthermore it is not the elegant style I asked for. I have attempted to raise this with the jeweller and he became defensive, he told me he needs to see it in person but I will need to pay if I want a custom setting. However I feel that it is his responsibility to deliver something that is not of poor standard and meets expectation. I have now lost faith in this jeweler I wish I could just have a refund and go elsewhere, however given the way he is this is not going to happen. What would you do in my situation? Obviously he has the power because I have already paid - would a chargeback through the bank be an option if we can’t agree a way forward? I’d really value advice from seasoned jewellery buyers as this is in first significant purchase and I’ve just been left feeling extremely disappointed.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Can you share pictures of the original setting and the replacement showing the issues you have? And share the price you paid for the settings. Advice depends a little on that.

 

[snakeysam24]

Can you share pictures of the original setting and the replacement showing the issues you have? And share the price you paid for the settings. Advice depends a little on that.

Hi thanks for your reply. I was just given an overall cost so I’m unsure how much the setting alone cost. The photos of the original are on my old phone but this is the replacement - as you can see it does not look very pretty well to me anyway! Welcome your feedback these photos are obviously very zoomed in.

 

[Dreamer_D]

This second setting is a stock mounting from a casting company. It is the least expensive option possible. I don’t know what they cost today but I can’t imagine more than $700 in 14k.

I can’t speak to the finish and whether it looked like that when you got it but it definitely shows a fair amount of wear. The mount looks too small for the diamond.

Was the original custom? What was the total cost for the diamond and setting?

 

[snakeysam24]

This second setting is a stock mounting from a casting company. It is the least expensive option possible. I don’t know what they cost today but I can’t imagine more than $700 in 14k.

I can’t speak to the finish and whether it looked like that when you got it but it definitely shows a fair amount of wear. The mount looks too small for the diamond.

Was the original custom? What was the total cost for the diamond and setting?

Hi
I’d rather not say the price as they will send me into a whole other spiral but it’s a natural diamond. Do you agree that the setting is not fit for the diamond? Also surely it is not normal for that amount of wear within the time I’ve had it?

 

[snakeysam24]

This second setting is a stock mounting from a casting company. It is the least expensive option possible. I don’t know what they cost today but I can’t imagine more than $700 in 14k.

I can’t speak to the finish and whether it looked like that when you got it but it definitely shows a fair amount of wear. The mount looks too small for the diamond.

Was the original custom? What was the total cost for the diamond and setting?

Hi
I’d rather not say the price as they will send me into a whole other spiral but it’s a natural diamond. Do you agree that the setting is not fit for the diamond? Also surely that it not a normal amount of wear in the time I’ve had ir?

 

[Dreamer_D]

I can’t really give advice unless I know what you paid for the setting and what the original looked like. Maybe this is a fair value for what you paid. You have nothing in writing at all?

 

[MissGotRocks]

I have no idea about the charge back with your bank. You would have to discuss the matter with them to see what your rights are in this matter. I am assuming that you are still ok with the diamond but not the setting?
I don’t know how he divided up the charges between the diamond and the setting. It seems as though he had nothing setting wise that you really cared for so not sure what he could swap it out with for you. If you are talking custom, I would not pay him any more money. I would take my business elsewhere.
One of the closest Tiffany settings is the Vatche U113 seen here https://www.whiteflash.com/engageme...-solitaire-engagement-ring-by-vatche-4569.htm. Gold prices are high now and any jeweler that carries the Vatche line could order this setting for you. Something to keep in mind even if you are not ready to do a new setting at this time.

don’t mean to be a Debbie Downer, but working with someone who has disappointed you several times doesn’t seem like a wise choice at this point. You could offer to let him unset the diamond and buy back the setting only at some agreed upon price point. The setting could definitely be repolished but I am not sure if you even like the style of it or not. At some point, you will probably lose money on the deal. I know this seems unfair and not to your liking and I understand that very well. It just doesn’t sound like this guy is willing to do what you want so perhaps it is time to move on. Take your losses, get a setting you like, and move forward with your engagement. I am sorry you have had such a bad experience, but sometimes cutting bait and cutting your losses is better than the constant angst and frustration on your well being!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Agreed about moving on. My experience is if they could satisfy you they certainly would have done so by now!