Conflicted about a sticky situation.

[cookies]

How about lending your cat to your mom for a few days or weeks, so that she can better understand why that expensive silk rug is not suitable for you?

If that won't work, and if you don't need the money right away, how about storing it properly and selling it much later, as an antique rug?

 

[Imdanny]

Good luck!

I'll be honest. I looked at your google sample rug and thought, "I'd throw up if I had to stare at that all day," but the real rug is very beautiful. Wow. Still, I think the fact that you couldn't quite remember what the medallion looked like just goes to show you how much of an antipathy you feel for this rug.

Also, if I had a rug worth that much money, there would be a snowflake's chance in hell I'd keep it rolled up somewhere if I didn't like it and didn't want to keep it.

Plus, you can help some cats? How great is that.

Bad karma rug, good-bye.

Finally, yes, own your JD. I'm sure you know that in academia a JD is considered on the same level as a PhD. The previous poster was entirely correct- many people get JD's and do something else, the same way many people get liberal arts degrees and don't get a job, I don't know, for instance, teaching English.

I know it's emotionally complex, but I feel you're doing the right thing.

 

[geckodani]

I'm really glad you've decided to sell bad karma rug. And I gotta tell you - I would totally take a vacation with the money (or at least a chunk of it). Experiences last forever, whereas even lovely things do not. Also, if it were me, if I bought a watch with the money under those circumstances, I think I'd forever look at it and... hmm, how to phrase this. Resent it? Bad karma carry over into the watch? That's just me though.

As far as the job goes, TONS of people have JDs and do other things. My FIL is technically a lawyer and runs an airport. Just the fact that you made it all the way through law school tells employers a lot about your character and determination. You can parlay that JD into a lot of different career paths. You battled for that sucker. Wear it proudly.

I have a kind of unusual outlook on work though. I don't love my job. I don't despise it, but I certainly don't love it. It doesn't fulfill me. I have two BAs and do work that a highly trained monkey could do. But, my job has fantastic hours, pay is decent, and the benefits make it all worth while. So I go in, do my thing and go home. Admittedly this doesn't work for everyone, but I have an interesting truce with my job.

I guess my point was that I truly think that most people aren't 100% in love with what they do for a living. And... I think that's okay. Shrug.

 

[Gypsy]

How about lending your cat to your mom for a few days or weeks, so that she can better understand why that expensive silk rug is not suitable for you?

Cookie I swear to you if they would do it I would give them a cat just for the comedic value. But my stepdad is extremely anti pet. It's basically irrelevant whether or not they understand or agree. I know it's impractical and it's my rug. Thank you though honey, I really enjoyed the mental exercise of imagining Merlin or Hally causing havoc in my parent's extremely formal and breakable home.

Hi Danny, I agree that the rug is beautiful. It reminds me of a Van Craeynest. I think they are beautiful and there are a few that I think are exceptional but ultimately they aren't for me, but I am happy other people can enjoy them and I enjoy looking at them.

I do know that the JD is valuable. But I'm not sure if I want to go to culinary school, buy a food truck, get training for jewelry making CAD, work at Tiffany as a sales associate... I'm just completely baffled.

Gecko, Carry over karma with the watch, dunno. I do know that a trip feels right. Exactly right.

Regarding career/work/jobs I I'm just confused right now. I've been told what to do for so long making such a big decision for myself is baffling. It sounds horrible to admit it, but... I'm used to saying "I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT" and being ignored. This is the first time someone has said, "Okay, so what do you want to do?" and I'm just at sea. Have been since June.

Regarding lying or omitting to mom: considering the family friend is my stepdad's best friend that I hope buys it, I won't be lying to my mom in any way. But even if that weren't the case, I'm not doing anything wrong and I would feel like I was if I lied and I would feel guilty. And the whole point of this is to feel good and to get the rug out of my life. Not to have it's ghostly specter hanging over me every time my mom asked about it until I finally break down and admit the deception, giving my mom a reason to feel self righteous about the whole thing. No, thank you. That's the wrong thing to do. Either I don't sell it or I do and am honest about it. Those are the only two choices for me.

 

[VRBeauty]

Gypsy - you go, girl!

I hope your friends decide to buy it!

 

[movie zombie]

sometimes the best way to define what you do want to do is by knowing what you don't want to do....reverse thinking/logic, i guess. and given the past, perhaps that would work for you now? instead of listing things that might interest you, perhaps listing things that would not? might narrow the field......but perhaps you've done that already?

 

[partgypsy]

It's just not realistic to keep a rug of that value with cats that are going to damage it. But I don't know the best approach to take with your mother, or really if there is a way you can't offend her. And I would separate selling the rug, which is the rational thing to do, with what you are going to do with the money. I would keep them separate. For one, your mother won't feel like the watch is a gift from her but would rather find it insulting that you "chose" your own gift. So I would keep it seperate.

 

[Octavia]

Regarding lying or omitting to mom: considering the family friend is my stepdad's best friend that I hope buys it, I won't be lying to my mom in any way. But even if that weren't the case, I'm not doing anything wrong and I would feel like I was if I lied and I would feel guilty. And the whole point of this is to feel good and to get the rug out of my life. Not to have it's ghostly specter hanging over me every time my mom asked about it until I finally break down and admit the deception, giving my mom a reason to feel self righteous about the whole thing. No, thank you. That's the wrong thing to do. Either I don't sell it or I do and am honest about it. Those are the only two choices for me.

Gypsy, I just wanted to clarify since I said I don't know if I'd tell her right away, I didn't mean to lie. For me personally, doing it and bringing it up right away would make me feel like I was trying to rub it in and/or justify my actions, whereas telling if asked would just be saying "yes, it was mine and I did what I wanted to do with it, and it's over, done, nothing more to say on the subject." Obviously, given that you might sell it to a family friend, it wouldn't work in your situation, and it seems like you don't have the same thought pattern about these things that I do -- which is totally understandable, I just didn't want you to think that I was advocating being deceptive!

 

[Gypsy]

LOL. When I originally told my mom that I was going to sell the rug I mentioned that I would need to get it appraised.

She just called me and asked if I'd done it. I said yes and she said... what did the appraiser say it was worth? Apparently she and stepdad had a bet going regarding the value of the rug. Mom won. And she offered to call family friend about the rug once it's cleaned and I have nicer pics of it. So apparently she's on board now, and was even okay with me consigning it if it meant getting more for it. The conversation was a run away train. She did get in a few sideways comments about my not appreciating everything I have, but that's par for the course.

She's an odd duck. But I can stop being concerned now.


Octavia, I did take it the wrong way, and I really appreciate the clarification.

 

[Gypsy]

sometimes the best way to define what you do want to do is by knowing what you don't want to do....reverse thinking/logic, i guess. and given the past, perhaps that would work for you now? instead of listing things that might interest you, perhaps listing things that would not? might narrow the field......but perhaps you've done that already?

No, I haven't but it's a great idea and I'll do it soon!

 

[movie zombie]

LOL. When I originally told my mom that I was going to sell the rug I mentioned that I would need to get it appraised. She just called me and asked if I'd done it. I said yes and she said... what did the appraiser say it was worth? Apparently she and stepdad had a bet going regarding the value of the rug. Mom won. And she offered to call family friend about the rug once it's cleaned and I have nicer pics of it. So apparently she's on board now, and was even okay with me consigning it if it meant getting more for it. The conversation was a run away train. She did get in a few sideways comments about my not appreciating everything I have, but that's par for the course. She's an odd duck. But I can stop being concerned now.
.

what a relief!