Cheating...?

[Enerchi]

I haven't cheated on a hairdresser, I just move on after our 'break up cut'! 2 girls ago, I had a mullet type hair cut!! I mean... REALLY??? A MULLET?? omg I was so upset!! We had been growing out my hair for about 6 - 8 months, w a plan in mind. Then one day, she up and decides I need layers and started chopping the sides before I could stop and say no!! WHOA!! so - mullet girl bit the dust after about 8 years together. She was local and reasonable and fabulous w colour.

Found another local lady, great references, good prices, very good w colour - it was going so well... till i decided I was going to grow out the colour and let the natural grey take over. Booked an appointment in January, prior to a long vacation, so I could get some of the 'growing' out of the way before going back to work. I came in armed with pictures and had my daughter with me too. We went over what my plan was --- my "GRADUAL" plan to go grey --- and she seemed to comprehend, so I was good to go.

Well well well... you know the rest of this is not going to end well, right???

Good old EDWARD SCISSORHANDS went all psycho-nut job on my hair and I looked like I'd been scalped!! It was a terrible cut - i was embarrassed to go to work, to be seen in public, refused pictures... it was HORRIBLE!

That was my most recent break up cut!!

Met a new lady 3 weeks ago - more expensive but did a fabulous job! I'm pretty happy with her - I hope it lasts!

 

[NOYFB]

Thanks everyone. I'm friends with my old stylist/colorist on FB and wondering if I need to un-friend her now...I mean, eventually she's going to see pics of me on there with my "new" color. Thoughts?

 

[Calliecake]

Lil Misfit, Wow!!! Your hair turned out fantastic. Do you like the way your other stylist cuts your hair? Could you just see her for hair cuts? I must admit that sounds like a pain. I like getting it all done in one sitting.

 

[NOYFB]

Lil Misfit, Wow!!! Your hair turned out fantastic. Do you like the way your other stylist cuts your hair? Could you just see her for hair cuts? I must admit that sounds like a pain. I like getting it all done in one sitting.

Thanks. I really appreciate all the compliments, especially since I took that pic early this morning and looking at it now I'm realizing how fuzzy it looks and how bad it needs a deep conditioning treatment from being so over-processed. I've got some stuff and will be experimenting over the next few days. Although, I do have to say, that since my hair is so fine/thin naturally having this extra bit of "oomph" that the bleaching/processing provides is kind of nice.

I do like the way my other gal cuts my hair, for the most part, but I've never been 100% happy with it, if I'm being completely honest. I've got this weird natural wave at the nape of my neck only on the left side, so styling is a pain when my hair is short, and she's never really helped me figure out how to do it so it doesn't look weird. And lately I've felt like it's been a bit uneven (I have an angled bob). So, yes, I'm going to let the new girl cut my hair next time and see what I think. What I really like about the new girl/salon is that she really took the time to listen to me and talked me through every step of what she was doing. She even told me how much extra something would cost before she did it (like extra packs of color corrector, the double process, etc), and explained each process to me. This made me feel so comfortable and confident in my decisions. As much as I love my other gal, I've never felt so "heard" before, if that makes sense.

I'm going to put some more toner and silver/purple conditioner in my hair throughout the week so I'm interested to see how it looks by this weekend.

 

[NOYFB]

For reference, this is how red/copper my hair was before my last appointment with my original girl (and after 2 sessions trying to get grey/silver)


And this is what it looked like before I started this process, in late February.


SO....I've come a long way, baby!!

 

[NOYFB]

Again for reference, here's a collage pic.

In this collage, the first pic is the first time my previous stylist added any grey (after 2 sessions of "trying to lighten" my hair). The second pic is the next time I saw her, 2 weeks ago, when she bleached my whole head and toned it. I had high hopes, but it looks exactly like the previous time. The 3rd pic, obviously, is what the new girl did last night. BIG DIFFERENCE.

 

[Calliecake]

lil Misfit, I can understand what your saying about your stylist not really listening. I find it interesting that the new girl understood exactly what you wanted. It sounds like she is a better fit color wise. You hair is beautiful. I love the cut. If this new girl gets the cut right do you think you will just quit going to your original girl? I find everytime I get my hair colored it turns out a different color. it turns out the color I want about twice a year. Other times it is way too dark or too light. My niece has told me that she isn't measuring the color properly.

 

[NOYFB]

l You hair is beautiful. I love the cut. If this new girl gets the cut right do you think you will just quit going to your original girl?

Thank you. And yes, I do feel like if the new girl cuts it right that I will stop going to my original gal.

 

[missy]

Thanks everyone. I'm friends with my old stylist/colorist on FB and wondering if I need to un-friend her now...I mean, eventually she's going to see pics of me on there with my "new" color. Thoughts?

Don't unfriend her as I think that would be even more hurtful. If she is like me she doesn't even check out everyone on FB all the time so she might not even notice. But even if she does it wouldn't be as bad as un-friending her IMO. You don't dislike her as a person but she just wasn't doing the job you wanted and that's a fact. So while I understand feeling a bit badly about the whole thing you haven't done anything wrong by going to someone else and if you unfriend her that *will* make her feel worse than just seeing you went to another hairdresser. IMO.

 

[NOYFB]

I haven't unfriended her, just edited my posts so that she can't see if I post a pic or anything related to my hair. Hopefully she won't question me when I cancel my appointment for next month.

Ok, so another question....have any of you used olive oil to repair the damage from bleach/over-processing? What was your experience? Did it work?

I've read a lot about it and how it can really strengthen/soften your hair and decided to try it tonight because my hair's been kind of *fuzzy* since Monday and I want to make sure it's in the best condition because otherwise the whole point of coloring it silver is mute if it looks like sh!t. I did it in the shower and probably used more than I should have. I put it up in a shower cap and left it on for an hour. Then I went back in the shower, put sulfate-free shampoo on BEFORE I added any water to my hair and gradually worked up a lather, adding small amounts of cool water. After I rinsed that shampoo out I shampooed again with Clairol Shimmer Lights (specifically for blonde/silver colored hair) and then conditioned with the purple toner/conditioner that my previous gal gave me (it's mostly conditioner and I'm not sure what brand toner) and Shiny Silver Ultra. Basically, I washed and conditioned 2x. I also sprayed a few pumps of Infusion 23 leave-in conditioner on my hair.

I'm letting it air dry and am very curious to see what it looks like afterward.

 

[packrat]

Your new stylist sounds incredible. I wish she were closer-I'd go to her for sure!

 

[VRBeauty]

Your hair looks terrific and - as one who has been struggling with the "going gray" thing for awhile - I love, love, love your hair color! Bravo to you and the new gal!

I got tired of the process of going from brunette to natural gray, and recently ended up going blond as a way-station. (It's a long story ). I used two bleach treatments to get the orange out (and will do one more in week or so) and toned with a permanent color (very light ash blond - basically gray) after each bleaching. My hair is almost bullet-proof strong, but it was pretty crispy after all that. I haven't used olive oil as a dressing, but I did use coconut oil once or twice... rubbed it through hair and scalp, and left it in from one hour to overnight before shampooing with a sulfate-free shampoo. It did seem to help get my hair get a bit closer to its old normal. Now I'm only washing/cleansing every third day, alternating between a sulfate-free shampoo with color enhancer, and conditioning cleanser. My hair feels pretty much back to normal, even though I know it's been seriously processed and needs to be handled with much care.

BTW - I wouldn't got to great lengths to shield your former stylist from your new look. Maybe she'll either learn, or be emboldened to try something new, from your new look. My stylist didn't really offer going straight to gray as an option either - probably because I still have some dark hair coming in, and she knew there was no way to lift the dye without also removing this natural color. But, she loves my new hair color and changed up my cut work with its new color and texture. ( I've pretty much always colored my own hair, highlights and all, with one or two "special treat" exceptions. My doing this on my own was no surprise to her.)

 

[NOYFB]

Well, the olive oil worked great! My hair feels just like it did before I bleached the hell out of it! I just hope it lasts, so I don't have to do this all the time. LOL

 

[telephone89]

Coconut oil is another good hair oil. If you use it BEFORE you bleach your hair (if you go again), it sort of sinks into the hair to protect it a bit. But hot oil treatments are amazing, any type of oil. heat over the stove or microwave, wait until its not TOO hot, apply to hair, wrap in plastic, add a towel over it (a warm towel from the dryer feels awesome) and watch tv for an hour. You can do this without the plastic, but it can ruin your towels.

Places sell specialty oils for this sort of treatment (v05, and higher end), but its really just the same oil with some added fragrance. Make sure to shampoo and condition well, and be careful in your bathtub after! Makes it quite slick.

 

[NOYFB]

So, my previous hair gal saw a pic of me on FB and sent me a PM a few minutes ago asking if I bleached my hair. Really not sure what to do....

 

[CJ2008]

So, my previous hair gal saw a pic of me on FB and sent me a PM a few minutes ago asking if I bleached my hair. Really not sure what to do....

I am sure she kind of "knows" or has a strong feeling that you probably went to someone else...I'd just tell her at this point. I'm sure it will show through that you are you not trying to be mean, you just did what you needed to do but didn't want to hurt her feelings...

I just think if you don't deal with it openly, it's going to be a weight on your shoulders and be an ongoing thing. And you never know, she may end up taking the news much better than you expect, too.

 

[missy]

So, my previous hair gal saw a pic of me on FB and sent me a PM a few minutes ago asking if I bleached my hair. Really not sure what to do....

I am sure she kind of "knows" or has a strong feeling that you probably went to someone else...I'd just tell her at this point. I'm sure it will show through that you are you not trying to be mean, you just did what you needed to do but didn't want to hurt her feelings...

I just think if you don't deal with it openly, it's going to be a weight on your shoulders and be an ongoing thing. And you never know, she may end up taking the news much better than you expect, too.

I agree. At this point since you posted your new hair pics on FB there is no going back. Just deal with it head on (so to speak LOL) and tell her you decided to go for a more dramatic change. No excuses and no apologies because you did nothing wrong. Anything that sounds like an excuse will just sound like an excuse if you kwim. I think direct and neutral honesty is best in this situation. Good luck.

 

[junebug17]

So, my previous hair gal saw a pic of me on FB and sent me a PM a few minutes ago asking if I bleached my hair. Really not sure what to do....

I am sure she kind of "knows" or has a strong feeling that you probably went to someone else...I'd just tell her at this point. I'm sure it will show through that you are you not trying to be mean, you just did what you needed to do but didn't want to hurt her feelings...

I just think if you don't deal with it openly, it's going to be a weight on your shoulders and be an ongoing thing. And you never know, she may end up taking the news much better than you expect, too.

I agree. At this point since you posted your new hair pics on FB there is no going back. Just deal with it head on (so to speak LOL) and tell her you decided to go for a more dramatic change. No excuses and no apologies because you did nothing wrong. Anything that sounds like an excuse will just sound like an excuse if you kwim. I think direct and neutral honesty is best in this situation. Good luck.

LM, I'm late to this, but I agree with missy and CJ and think honesty is the way to go too…as missy said, you didn't do anything wrong and you don't owe her any apologies. I wouldn't even go into any explanations and just keep it simple as missy said - that you just wanted a more dramatic change. I just think you will feel more at peace about all of this once everything is out in the open, it seems like it's hanging over your head (ha!) a little.

 

[NOYFB]

Thanks everyone! She wrote "Did you bleach your hair lady?? It looks good!!" then a few minutes later "Your hair is so strong!!" So, I simply wrote back "I did! Thanks!" and left it at that. I don't owe her an explanation and she didn't press me any further, so hopefully that will be the end of that.

 

[NOYFB]

I had another appointment with my new gal today. We re-toned, did a deep conditioning treatment and a cut/trim. It's really grey now! I love it! This color will fade to a lighter shade every time I wash it, and then when I go back in 3 weeks this will be the color we use as the darkest lowlights against the brighter silver.

 

[junebug17]

Oh that looks so pretty! And you are really lovely LM!

Glad things went ok with your old stylist, sounds like the whole thing has blown over!

 

[House Cat]

LM, it looks really good! I'm glad everything went so well with the new stylist!!