Best setting for earring jackets?

[tammy77]

Hi Ladies,

I'm hoping that I don't ramble too much, but I am afraid that's probably unavoidable. I'm also afraid of being flamed for talking about an issue with a vendor, but I just need some honest feedback. Please be kind...

So a while ago I purchased a set of pre-loved earring jackets from another PSer and I've been trying to find stock earrings to go in them. Unfortunately, that's not happening so I went the route of having them cut for me. I decided to go with XXXXX, so I sent a msg to him via the bistro. He called me himself that very day to talk about it and I was just wowed by his responsiveness. We talked for a while and (at least in my mind and interpretation of the conversation) settled on a pair of lilac amethyst. We talked originally about aquas but I said I'd rather look at having the amethyst. At that time I was under the assumption that 5mm stones would work, so I told him at least 5mm, not more than 5.5mm. That was Monday or Tuesday of last week.

Fast forward to Thursday night, I came home and there was a package at the door. Apparently my DH had bought earrings for me from Blue Nile - 5mm pink tourmalines for my birthday. The problem is, they were way too small. The stones measured 4.5, have 4 prong basket measuring at just shy of 5mm total. So I panicked and emailed XXX that night letting him know that 5mm is too small, that I wanted 6mm stones. I also said that since 6mm would work, I wanted to know if he could possibly provide a matching rubellite for one stone I'd already purchased from him long ago.

On Friday he emailed me back and said basically "I need you to tell me what you want because I had started cutting the aquas, then you say you want amethyst and now you mention rubellite in 6mm. It takes me a long time to cut these and I want to get it done so tell me what you want". So I emailed him back the same day saying that I was confused because we had settled on amethyst for now, aqua at a later time and that the rubellite was in addition. I reiterated that I needed the 6mm size instead and apologized for the confusion.

On Monday I got an email from him saying that he'd completed two 5mm aquas and a 5mm amethyst but it was his understanding that I want 6mm. He again reminded me of how long it takes him to cut and again told me to tell him what I wanted and in what size before he cut more.

At this point honestly I was pretty upset. I wanted this to go well and I know that it was partly my fault for giving him the wrong size earlier in the week, but I corrected it as soon as I could and it just seems like he wasn't reading my messages. Regardless, I apologized again and said that I would purchase the 5mm aquas but needed the amethyst in 6mm. I figured it was a way for me to pay for my mistake of quoting the wrong size for 3 out of the 8 days we'd been talking about the project. The next day, which was yesterday, he emailed me and said "I will start cutting the 6mm aquamarine today." That was the entire message.

I realize that I originally wrote this out with the intention of just asking what setting would work but I'm so annoyed right now after reading back through the emails and thinking about it. I feel like he went from responsive and friendly, interested in working with me to treating me like I'm inconveniencing him. I realize this is my first custom cutting request, which I'd told him up front about as well, but am I wrong to feel like something just isn't okay about all of this, or are his actions justified? I'm a big girl and can handle it if so.

And on the note of settings for the earrings, I was going to try to figure out what to do with them but I just feel so incompetent at all of this that I think I'm just going to send the stones and the jackets to DanielM and ask them to do what they can with the two different sizes. Maybe a bezel will work, I don't know. I'm just really disappointed with the whole thing right now.

ETA: I didn't feel comfortable listing the person's name because if I am in the wrong I don't want to cause them any issues.

 

[Amys Bling]

That stinks and I can see both sides of this issue. So frustrating when you feel Iike you aren't getting the service you want.

 

[Enerchi]

ouch. I think the vendor was assuming too much. Was this clearly written/stated and any money change hands in terms of a deposit? Hopefully you will not need to purchase something you do not want or did not order. Surely there would be another potential buyer for the pair you did not want.

I think it was presumptuous of him to go ahead and start cutting and perhaps a bit rude to make those comments to you??? Tough call without knowing every little interaction, but I wish you a good resolution (and that the new stones FIT your jackets!)

 

[minousbijoux]

It sounds like he may not have been getting your emails. I hope that, after the initial contact you were not trying to communicate with him via DB. In my experience, messages get lost there about 1/4 - 1/3 of the time. If he had received your emails, he should have confirmed them or at least gotten in touch to clarify tasks.

I don't know if its the vendor I'm thinking of, but there is one that I think is succinct, no small talk or niceties in his emails, and often he does not return emails. If it is this one, then it could just be his style, rather than irritation.

Good luck. I hate situations like this, because it takes all the fun out of the situation.

 

[tammy77]

Thank you for all of the responses and ideas. Yes, all interactions were through DB with the exception of the one phone call he made to me on the first day. I also said in several of my messages that if he had any questions he could call me anytime. I figured that since he initiated the first phone call that he would do so again if there were any issues.

I did do a very small deposit. Honestly I do want a positive resolution and even to continue buying from him because his work is wonderful. I just need to figure out how to get rid of the awkward feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever I think about it so I can actually enjoy the process.

Thanks again!

 

[petit_bijou]

That really stinks!! It's hard not to take it personally when people seem upset with you, but it sounds like a communication breakdown.

If you're still interested in having the stones cut by this person, I would call them to explain that there's been a misunderstanding, and while you were unsure of what you wanted, you are now SURE that you need a pair of 6mm amethysts, and a rubellite (or whatever it is that you intend to purchase in addition to the 5mm aquas that have already been cut). I would then follow up the phone call with an email, putting whatever it is that you agree to in writing to ensure that there is a record of your agreement.

I think that if you get into too many emails back and forth with apologies and interpretations of the misunderstanding it will just get messier, so make it almost painfully direct and succinct in terms of what you need and hopefully it will work out.

That way, if he DOES cut the wrong stuff, you can refer to your email to deal with the situation. I wouldn't feel too bad about the perception of his mood. At the end of the day, you are a client and he is a service provider so you don't need to become best friends. Of course, if the "feeling" of the communication really gets to you, you could buy the aquas and cancel the rest, and find another vendor.

I hope that doesn't come across too harsh, I just think things have gotten lost in translation so hopefully a clear directive will help. A phone call to discuss what happened and what you want, followed by an email to put your "order" into writing would be my path forward.

 

[decodelighted]

Water under the bridge now but I can see how a "Have you started cutting yet? If not, I've had a change of plans" type of disclaimer might have helped reinforce the idea of STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING IMMEDIATELY -- NEW PLAN!!!!!!

When is it an "order"? When you make the deposit? If so -- any changes AFTER THE FACT need to be agreed to by him. If he didn't send back a confirmation or agreement then I wouldn't assume change is possible. Yanno?

Anyway -- hope you end up w/a great pair of earrings! Or three?

 

[tammy77]

Deco, you're absolutely right. At this point I need to treat it like water under the bridge unless there's a case of extreme hostility or rudeness. I honestly don't expect that though. I have made sure that as soon as communication issues arose, I sent only messages that were to the point and spelled out EXACTLY what I wanted in as few words as possible. Hopefully that is just their communication style and everything will work out. If not, then at least I will have done what I could to remain professional. I'm definitely going to make good on the promise to buy the one 5mm set and the 6mm set that I requested, unless he tells me to bug off.

 

[Michael_E]

Honestly I do want a positive resolution and even to continue buying from him because his work is wonderful. I just need to figure out how to get rid of the awkward feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever I think about it so I can actually enjoy the process.

From my dealings with people online I would suggest that you ignore any implied problems and ask for specifically what you want, (via phone since that seems to work better in this case). You're paying for this and if they don't clarify what they are doing for you through very clear and explicit e-mails, (since they leave a record and timeline, which phone calls do not), then anything they do, other than what you want, is on their dime. On an inexpensive project, such as small colored stone earrings, it really doesn't matter much if you change your mind, particularly if you are changing your order for something larger and more expensive. While it does take time to cut stones, those small stones are under 2 hours each and they can always be sold for what you would have paid.


DO NOT feel guilty or conflicted about this.
DO call them and get the communications straightened out so that you receive just what you want. They need to get this straight as much as you do, since a good feeling about this on your side could turn you into one of their better clients and referrals.

 

[chrono]

Tammy,

In the future, have the vendor/lapidary email you a CONFIRMATION email, spelling out in exact terms what he has agreed to cut for you before you pay him a deposit to start cutting. Confirm the gemstone type, approximate size or carat weight, design and estimated cost before the project begins. It would be unprofessional of him/her to begin the project before receiving your deposit. Once you follow these simple procedures, it eliminates most of the miscommunication headaches that you are currently experiencing.

On a different note, once the lapidary begins cutting, he really cannot stop and make many changes. That is the nature of art. The size of the rough will dictate the final carat weight/dimensions, colour, shape and etc. Thus if begins cutting for a 5 mm stone, he will have to choose a different piece of rough (or go find another one) that will yield a 6 mm stone, hopefully with a close enough colour. In terms of time spent, it doesn't take much more time to facet a 2 carat stone versus a 0.5 carat stone. Just trying to share a bit of the lapidary's perspective here.

 

[tammy77]

Hi All,

Chrono, thank you for your suggestions. I will be sure to follow them in the future if/when I have more stones cut! I did get an email yesterday telling me that the stones were ready, looked beautiful and my total amount due. I sent a request for a picture of them because it came out to be more than expected, but my hope is that the rough just produced better aquas and for that I'd gladly pay the difference!

 

[chrono]

What is the reason for the higher than quoted price? Once the rough is selected, I don't see why the price should increase.

 

[tammy77]

Honestly I didn't even authorize the aquas in writing, ever. He called me and told me they would be med light color and about $120.00. My DH had asked me to keep it to a minimum because he had a project in the works for me (found out after that it was the pink tourm earrings) and I knew I wanted to get a few different pairs so my price point was closer to $70-$80 (which I had told him in my first email as well). So I told the cutter that I would just go with the amethyst for now. This was all over the phone though so when he came back and told me that he was cutting both because I'd told him to, I just said okay that I'd buy them both because eventually I knew that I would want them. It's weird though because he lowered the price of the amethyst by a bit so overall it's only about $20-$30 more. Is aqua that much more expensive than amethyst? The price difference between the two sets is about $140.00. I hope that it's okay to talk price, I'm pretty nervous about posting any of this stuff.

All in all, I don't mind the price that I'll end up paying. It's not that much money and I'm sure they're going to be lovely. I just wish it was a bit more professional. I didn't get an invoice and haven't seen pictures. That said, I also haven't paid it yet. I am fine just going through paypal w/o an invoice, but I think I should see the finished product first, right? I'm sure he'll send me pictures of the stones though, I just requested them yesterday.

 

[chrono]

Medium light for aquamarines sounds like decent stone. If so, they are probably more expensive than the amethysts (also depends on the saturation of those too).

For stones that are pricier, vendors usually will take pictures of the stone. Some vendors also have more time and the necessary photography setup to take pictures per the customer's request.

 

[tammy77]

Thanks, Chrono! It helps to have feedback. Like I said, I'm sure everything is fine. The more I hear from here, the more I realize that it's just that I'm a novice at these things. I'll get there. I think I expected pics because their DB listings all have nice photos.

ETA: He described the amethyst as "lilac". I wasn't looking for the deep colors so I'm happy with that.

 

[tammy77]

I'm banging my head on my desk this morning, sigh. I asked for a picture, and asked that the stones be sent w/insurance. In the same message I mentioned that I though that the price was less from our phone conversation, but that I knew we'd changed the size by 1mm and the color might be the darker one, which would be wonderful. I said that as soon as I heard back from him with those things I'd pay. He responded today telling me that yes, color and size influences the price and that retail for the stones I'm getting would be $300 from other vendors and they wouldn't be cut as well as his. He then said that as soon as I pay he'll ship them. There was no picture or acknowledgement of the request (which I would have been okay with saying np to if he told me he wasn't set up for it at this time). Also no response about the insurance. I have no pictures, no stats on the stones other than what they are and the size, and no invoice. This vendor doesn't listen to me at all and expects me to just trust him 100%. I keep trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, blaming myself but I am having a really hard time right now.

So I paid via paypal and put what it was for in the comments field. I asked him to send it with insurance in the comments field too. I then emailed through DB telling him I'd sent payment and again said please do not send them without insurance, that I'd be happy to pay more if needed because I've had stuff lost/stolen in transit and I just don't ship w/o insurance - ever.

Anyhow, yeah. I'm at a loss and I guess at this point just venting, but those stones are going to have to knock my socks off in order for me to go through this vendor again at this point for custom work. I just want to get it over with.

 

[chrono]

I'm not trying to excuse the vendor for his poor communication but here's my guess on what is going on:
He doesn't have the time/setup to take pictures for what's in his mind are "low value" gemstones.
Sometimes, less expensive stones are sent without insurance. The risk is assumed by the vendor.
I have only encountered one lapidary that did not invoice me. Perhaps this might be the same person.

What is his return policy? I'm not getting a good feeling about this because he did not answer so many of your questions. It all seems very casual and unprofessional.

 

[tammy77]

Chrono, thank you again for chiming in. You give me other ways to look at the situation and I appreciate that! I never even thought about the possibility that the vendor is just not worried about them being lost since I said I'd pay for it. I'm not going to assume that and honestly I don't want to put him in that position, I'm happy to pay extra for it.

The vendor has a 7 day return policy, but I don't want to deal with that at all, so I truly hope that everything goes smoothly.

 

[minousbijoux]

There was a vendor discussed a while ago on PS who it sounded like had pretty dreadful customer service. That cutter eventually got an assistant and then everything seemed resolved. I wonder if this is the same vendor who somehow lost his assistant - I only know of one (I think) that uses the bistro to post stones...

 

[Dandi]

Oh tammy hon, I'm sorry the process has been so frustrating, when it's supposed to be fun! I don't have any advice but I really really hope that ultimately you're satisfied with the end product. It appears the vendor really needs to lift his game where communication in concerned. Hugs!