Are you really happy?

[Tuckins1]

Yep

 

[DebShine]

Getting more so everyday!

 

[Haven]

Date: 1/29/2009 1:54:47 PM
Author: TravelingGal
So, would you all say that happiness is tied to money, at least somewhat?

I don''t care to be rich, but I have to say that since I''ve always had enough to make ends meet, it does relieve some major stresses in life.

Health would be the other factor.

TGal--Yes. I think the link between money and happiness lies in the freedom to make more choices, and to have more options, that comes with having more money.

However, I do believe that some people self-impose a need for "stuff" that may increase their dependence on money to be happy. Or, they mistake "stuff" as being the source of happiness and never bother to figure out what it is that would truly make them happy, in which case, all the money in the world won''t be enough to make one happy.

 

[Kaleigh]

Most days I am.. I see the glass as half full.

You can choose to be happy, you can choose to be miserable.

I choose to be happy. But right now, I am in the midst of dealing with a Father that is involved in a big scam and is making poor choices. That has definitely put a damper on my spirits. I may be pissed, but am still relatively happy.

 

[Shoopy]

I describe myself as calm before I say I''m happy. I don''t know if I can ever really truly be 100% happy ever again (well, ask me again in July I''m sure it''ll be a different answer) but I feel at peace with life and where I am. And because of that I''m not miserable.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 1/29/2009 2:20:16 PM
Author: Porridge


Allycat, I do know how you feel now. I (I think most people?) go through some dark patches in life where you wake up in the mornings and just don't feel good about things. I would strongly recommend cognitive therapy to help you change your thinking a little bit. It's easy for someone to tell you to be in control of your happiness, but you need to be taught how to do that.

Yes, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is suppose to be highly sucessful. There was a study comparing those who tried that and those who were on Prozac and the CBT had a much higher success rate and will resonate even after you stop the therapeutic classes. Sometime I'd like to try it (and probably should get that book)!

 

[platinumrock]

Happiness is a decision. Everything else is just a distraction and a novelty.

 

[DivaDiamond007]

Date: 1/29/2009 5:04:26 PM
Author: Haven

Date: 1/29/2009 1:54:47 PM
Author: TravelingGal
So, would you all say that happiness is tied to money, at least somewhat?

I don''t care to be rich, but I have to say that since I''ve always had enough to make ends meet, it does relieve some major stresses in life.

Health would be the other factor.

TGal--Yes. I think the link between money and happiness lies in the freedom to make more choices, and to have more options, that comes with having more money.

However, I do believe that some people self-impose a need for ''stuff'' that may increase their dependence on money to be happy. Or, they mistake ''stuff'' as being the source of happiness and never bother to figure out what it is that would truly make them happy, in which case, all the money in the world won''t be enough to make one happy.

I agree with Haven. To me more money = less worries therefore more happiness. If I didn''t have to worry about money everyday then I''d be a lot happier! Just to have the freedom to know that I could afford to quit my job (or lose my job for that matter) or make car repairs or afford to be able to get sick would make me feel much happier. It''s not really about material things to me - it''s about security.

I''d say that I''m only marginally happy right now. DH and I have had a tough time lately with having our first baby, having to move, dealing with my mother and dealing with money issues that sometimes I wonder if things will ever get better for us. I often feel like we can never get ahead and that depresses me. My DH is very happy-go-lucky and tells me not to worry, which in reality just makes me worry more. Ugh. It''s an endless cycle for me. I try to be happy, I really do, but there''s always something.

The one thing that makes me truly happy, deep down inside is seeing my son and how happy he is. I feel like I''m doing a good job as a mother and that makes me smile everyday.

Diva

 

[elrohwen]

Um, up until the last year I would've answered that I was absolutely happy. In college I was ridiculously happy and for the first few years of work I was great. My job has started to majorly suck and take over my life, so I have been less than happy. Most of that has to do with being exhausted and sick all the time (because of work). I think that even if I still hated my job, it wouldn't be that bad if it wasn't for the sick and tired parts and I would still be happy. I find that traveling for work every week sucks my energy out of me and leaves me little energy for doing the things I love. It also leaves me vulnerable to a chronic thing I've had for years, so being sick all the time makes me even more down in the dumps.

I think about this subject often and I feel extremely bad that I'm not happier. I have an amazing FI who is the reason I'm not totally miserable. He's absolutely amazing and I'm so happy to have him in my life. I have great friends in the area (thanks to FI, who keeps hanging out with them on the countless occasions I have to cancel at the last minute due to travel for work

). We make above the average incomes and aren't in much danger of losing our jobs due to the economy. So why am I not happy? I want to start getting the better of my job and making myself happy, despite a job that tries to suck up my life. I thought I would do that by just getting a new job, but with the way the economy is now, I think I need to make myself happy within my current job because new ones aren't easy to find.

So I really don't know right now. But I do know that, over the course of my life, I will be a happy person, so I try to deal with the hand I am dealt right now. It'll pass and life will get better. It's hard though, I will say, to not throw myself a pity party all the time for how miserable I am sitting in hotel rooms so many nights a month (many many more than I ever agreed on when I took this job). Every time I try to do something to make myself happier, it helps a little bit and lets me know that there is hope. My first act this year has been to get my health under control so that at least I don't have to be sick all the time because it really drags me down.

ETA: I didn't really mean my post to turn into a huge whiney thing about how miserable I am with my job ... I guess it's just really bothered me that for the past year I've been more down than I can ever remember being. It's kind of scary to watch your normal outlook on life change so much. This thread really hit home with me. Thanks for letting me get some of it out.

 

[monarch64]

Date: 1/29/2009 7:46:24 PM
Author: platinumrock
Happiness is a decision. Everything else is just a distraction and a novelty.

Soooooooooo true. I could not have said it better.

 

[mrscushion]

Date: 1/29/2009 10:32:49 PM
Author: SanDiegoLady
I helped a man the other night by talking him out of committing suicide, that made me very happy.

Ohmigosh SanDiegoLady, wow!!!! That is incredible. I am so glad that man came across you just at the right time.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 1/30/2009 12:19:29 AM
Author: mscushion

Date: 1/29/2009 10:32:49 PM
Author: SanDiegoLady
I helped a man the other night by talking him out of committing suicide, that made me very happy.

Ohmigosh SanDiegoLady, wow!!!! That is incredible. I am so glad that man came across you just at the right time.

That''s awesome SDL!!!! I am glad you were the one that took that call. Bless you for the excellent work that you do.

 

[mrscushion]

And to answer the actual thread, I would say yes, I''m happy, almost all of the time. A lot of that is due to SO who really, really makes me happy every single day.

 

[Sparkalicious]

Date: 1/30/2009 12:25:50 AM
Author: Kaleigh

Date: 1/30/2009 12:19:29 AM
Author: mscushion

Date: 1/29/2009 10:32:49 PM
Author: SanDiegoLady
I helped a man the other night by talking him out of committing suicide, that made me very happy.

Ohmigosh SanDiegoLady, wow!!!! That is incredible. I am so glad that man came across you just at the right time.

That''s awesome SDL!!!! I am glad you were the one that took that call. Bless you for the excellent work that you do.

Ditto! How wonderful SDL!
If I were to answer this question, after the past week or even couple of months that I''ve had ... I''d have to say "no", but I''m working on it b/c I feel as though happiness, a lot of the time, is a choice, however, sometimes, you just don''t have it in you to make that choice. You just keep trying until you do.
Seeing your response SDL made me sort of reframe my "happiness" and smile because somebody who wasn''t happy had the good fortune to come across you on their worst day and you were instrumental in increasing the potential that they will be happy again. Isn''t that what''s most important? I always knew that you were an

 

[marcy]

I agree with Monarch and Platinumrock in that happiness is a decision.It took me a long time to realize you are as happy as you make up your mind to be.I finally decided I would much rather be happy than miserable.I would say I am generally happy.

San Diego Lady, how awesome you saved a man from killing himself.

 

[Kelli]

Way to Go SanDiegoLady!

I do believe I''m a happy person, which is crazy because last year I spent most of it being miserable. I was pissed about not yet being engaged (I have a bit of a patience problem but it WAS over eight years before he had officially asked!!!), I was still living in a crappy neighborhood, still recovering from years of working WAAAAAY too much and too hard and letting people take advantage of me and my time, and dealing with pent up anger towards my mother that I couldn''t let go. (It doesn''t help that I work with her and my sister and see her literally every single day). I had an ENORMOUS melt down in July, and since have seen a therapist "on account of my rage" as I like to say, which is a joke from Friends.

I don''t see the therapist anymore, I told him I''d call when I felt I needed to come in. And although I''ve considered it a few times, I haven''t REALLY felt the need. Luckily, two of the major stresses are gone, I''ve moved into a GREAT new house in a GREAT neighborhood and couldn''t be happier, and thankfully, our wedding plans are finally underway. I''m WORKING on dealing with the anger issues and the biggest thing I have to remember is that I can''t change ANYONE but myself (as long as I''d like to change others sometimes!!) and that no one but ME can put me in a pissy mood. So yes, happiness is MY choice, and if I need a little space and time for myself, I am going to do my very best to MAKE some without feeling guilty about it (another challenge for me, as I ALWAYS feel guilty about taking personal time-- even pricescope time!) As much as I love helping others, having some down time has made my year a LOT better!

 

[Kelli]

Wow sorry about the novel, feeling a bit embarrassed now.

I do so wish that I was more like a man, if I weren''t so in touch with my emotions I''d probably ALWAYS be happy. After all, I am a pretty lucky gal.

 

[Bia]

I am very happy, but not in a carefree sort of way. I worry a lot about issues involving my family and that makes it difficult to ever be completely and utterly happy. Does that make sense?

 

[tlh]

SDL

that is an amazing thing you did.

Not to diminish that... but SPRINKLES make me happy. I dont know what it is about them! LUV EM!

 

[bee*]

I''m happy with my lot however I''ll be even happier when I finish college and am earning some money.

 

[Aloros]

I definitely believe I''m really happy

.

I often think...if I had $$$$$$$, what would I do with it? And the fact is, I wouldn''t change much. I end up realizing I''d pop most of it into savings! I like my job, love my house (feel sooooo lucky to have such a nice place for a first home), I travel, I love my friends, love my FI and stepson-to-be, love my family, love my pets. I feel incredibly lucky every day to have the things that I do. I''m not rich, but I don''t feel I''m left wanting.

Sure, FI and I talk a lot about the things we''ll do when we''re not so strapped for cash - but I''m also confident that that day will come, and I''m patient enough to wait for it.

I think happiness is a matter of appreciating what you have, setting goals for yourself (and making the effort to meet them), and not dwelling on regrets and the things that you can''t change.

 

[tlh]

You know what else makes me happy.... BELLY BUTTONS! I LOVE THEM! Esp on babies.... oooo they are just sooo cute!

 

[Allison D.]

I have to say, I'm immensely happy.....much happier than I ever realized I could be, and that's going a lot considering I've always considered myself pretty happy to begin with.

That's not to say that there aren't day to day stressors from time to time that get a little bigger than they should. We all do. But, I look at what I have.

I have a man who thinks the sun and the moon revolve around me, even though he recognizes my shortcomings. He loves me with his entire heart, and it's a BIG heart. I imagined what it would feel like to love like that, but I didn't realize until I actually had it how fulfilling it would feel. Seven years into the game, he's still my best friend; the one I'd want to do anything to please, and the one who makes me feel like there isn't anything we can't tackle together.

I have a job that is challenging. At times, it's not rewarding, and at other times, it still excites me. (This is my full-time job I'm talking about). I feel beyond proficient in that job. It's not going to cure world hunger, but it is going to keep my family solvent and it will continue to be a challenge.

I have a second gig that is beyond rewarding; it lets me indulge that which I'm passionate about.

I have friends that I know I could count on no matter what's on my horizon.... and they know they can count on me, too.

I'm incredibly blessed; I have more than what I need. Hardships, when they come, are like puzzles I can solve if I try hard enough. Overall, though, I'm an extremely lucky woman, and the gift for me is that I KNOW it and appreciate it.

 

[tlh]

you know what else makes me happy... twin line flossers! They never break when you floss your teeth, and they get all those hard to reach places!

 

[lyra]

I'm happy. I have not always been happy, I have been as opposite to that as possible at times, but I think as we go through life and the major stresses (loss of loved ones, accidents, loss of jobs, major illnesses, etc.) we learn that most everything including life itself is at worst merely temporary in the scheme of things. I have lots of stressors right now, but I'm always the happiest one in the family. I guess maybe it's just something that's become ingrained in me because what good is the alternative? Life is so very short, and no matter what, there are always people far worse off than me, even at my "worst off".

I can always find something to laugh about. If the day is so bad I can't do that, well, I'd just stay in bed and hope for the best tomorrow.

 

[Beacon]

Yes - super happy. Sometimes I am so happy I feel like skipping. Odd, I know.

I am so frequently inspired by great people who I see in action, or events that call upon reserves of courage - I am frequently wowed by the world and all the amazing things that have been accomplished and are being accomplished right now.

What the heck, that''s how I am.

 

[HollyS]

Wow. That''s a loaded question. A good one, but . . . . . tough to answer.

I''ve heard some people (''experts in their field'' types) who say ''happiness'' isn''t about feelings of euphoria, or even contentment with every aspect of your life. They say true happiness is a feeling of security in who you are, a sense of being able to keep going in the face of trials or tragedies, a strong faith that all things will work for good (eventually) -- whether it is based upon any known religion or not --and deep and abiding hope in the good in the world winning over the evil.

No one, anywhere, is perfectly, completely, satisfied with everything in their life. Not even Oprah. For all that she has, and all the good she can do and has done, for all the recognition, fame, and respect, she fills a void within herself with food. And so she''s up and down the scale. Who knows what she feels she is missing?? Motherhood perhaps? She would have been a great mom. I digress . . . .

I think it is even tougher today, than it was for our parents, and certainly our grandparents, to find happiness, contentment, purpose, whatever you want to call it. We expect a great deal more out of life than they did; we are exposed to so much more outside of our own personal experience; we know so much more of what the world holds than they did. We aren''t content to just do things ''the way they''ve always been done''. We want it all. Or most of it. And we''ve been taught to expect that we will make a difference in the world; that we must ''give back'', we must ''contribute''. Everybody has different ideas as to how we should do this, and that just adds to our stress.

Happiness is realizing that I don''t have to have it all. I don''t need it. I need to be a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend, etc, and I need to love and be loved. Everything else good that happens is just icing on the cake.

 

[BlueSki231]

Happiness is a choice.



ETA: I see some have already said that.. didn't read the responses before I replied

 

[miraclesrule]

Oh yeah...I am definately happy. Anxiously happy and grateful for everyone in my life. Sure, my life could be easier, but I am alive and healthly and have a family I love. Although I did get an abnormal pap result...that didn''t make me estatic. But happy...oh yeah.

 

[tlh]

Date: 1/31/2009 2:04:13 AM
Author: SanDiegoLady
You are all very sweet, thanks. For the hundreds of calls I take that I am called names, hung up on, yelled at, told how worthless I am, or that aren''t all that pressing, its the one that is and when you can make a difference that can make the entire week worthwhile. For every one person I can help or that I can save, I feel like what I do really counts.




Another thing that makes me happy.. stuff with glitter, or swarvoski crystals or something like that.. shirts, hats, cups, ribbons, wreaths.. what ever.. they make me smile.

DITTO! and rhinestones on clothes that spell stuff... like "Bridesmaid" even when they aren''t on me!! I just smile because I know they are apart of something really wonderful!