Are you really happy?

[allycat0303]

There''s a lot of books, shows (a lot on Oprah) etc, focused on finding or being *happy*. Answering my own question, I would probably answer "not really" (even without the recent stressors in my life) although I wouldn''t be able to pin down the exact reason why. I would probably go with, *sometimes content*

So what does *happiness* mean to you? Is it a tangible emotion in your life? and would you describe yourself as happy person?

Or maybe a better question, would you say you have a fulfilling and meaningful life?

I hear these phrases tossed around a lot and always wondered what they REALLY meant.

 

[Bliss]

I think the more you stop thinking about just yourself, you become truly happy.

The Dalai Lama says that you are only truly happy when you are making someone else happy. The other stuff that makes you happy is fleeting and makes you suffer when it ends because it leaves you wanting more -- like an ice cream cone, a promotion or new shoes.

They call it honey on a razor blade. You lick it for the sweetness but in the end, it cuts you.

The older I get, the more I see how things in the world and our attachment to them is what drives human suffering. I have found that when I am helping others and have let go of my own ego, I am truly happy and I am free. The ego can define you and trap you, make you a slave to what you think you are and should be. But we're so much more than that. I'm not an overly religious person, but I find myself seeking truth lately in many religions. I was raised Christian but more and more I find that many religions teach us the same thing - to love others. That to me, is happiness and freedom.

Also, I try to live in the present. Often, my mind is running in the future or digging into the past. That makes me unhappy. I'm worrying about something in the future or reliving stuff in the past that really serves no purpose. Meditating has really helped me find inner serenity. Prayer also works to keep me rooted to the present moment. I try to make my every action *MEAN* something.

Zen monks say even if you're washing dishes, you can be the happiest person in the world. Because you're totally focused to doing the best job you can and you're blissfully in the moment, washing the heck out of those dishes, savoring the moment! You're alive! Most of the time, we're rushing through stuff in our lives and it's a blur. Just enjoy and make even the mundane tasks purposeful by being present! Enjoy each breath. Even for two minutes, enjoying your breath is rooting you to the present moment. We often miss our appointment with life when we're racing toward the finish line.

Sometimes, delayed gratification is a GOOD thing. It means more. We've forgotten how to wait and be patient for things. We want the easy button now now now and settle for cheap substitutes. But every gardener knows that patience and diligent care and getting dirty results in the most beautiful roses -- that bloom in time just for you. We have forgotten to *grow* our own roses. We appreciate our children through all the suffering and worry they put us through. The McDonald's society can make us very unhappy. But we can break free from that!

I love diamonds, I love shoes, I love nice things... but it's a slippery slope. I enjoy them and not let them own me. I enjoy them but they do not define me and I do not *need* them. I hope that makes sense!

 

[monarch64]

Interesting topic. It''s my opinion that happiness is a choice, and also that happiness is a term used to describe whether one is able to cope with everything life throws their way. In other words, you can let life defeat you and bring you down, or you can realize that life is just a series of events (some good, some bad) and roll with the punches while choosing to stay positive.

I have to say that for the most part I think I am happy. I have dealt with a lot of negative things in my lifetime, but I choose to also remember the good things and that keeps me going and thinking positive. I have lots of reasons to be unhappy, but I also have lots of reasons to be happy! I find my relationships with friends, my work, my family, and the ways I contribute to society/community keep me feeling fulfilled and like my life is on a positive track.

 

[monarch64]

Bliss, have you read Eckhart Tolle? Some of your post reminded me of his books. Good stuff.

 

[Bliss]

Date: 1/29/2009 1:13:20 PM
Author: monarch64
Bliss, have you read Eckhart Tolle? Some of your post reminded me of his books. Good stuff.

Monarch, yes! I will read anything and everything! (Nerd laugh) It''s wonderful to see that the more spiritual books you read, there is that one common theme...even in the Bible! It''s almost like they were all written by one hand.

 

[tlh]

You know, I find when you don''t compare yourself to others, and enjoy what you have, it is hard NOT to be happy. Happiness to me is the little stuff, finding a $20 in a jacket pocket that I haven''t worn all season, being able to zip up a pair of jeans fresh out of the wash AFTER the holidays! (YES!) a cold beer with a loved one, an email saying how I helped someone through a rough patch, and knowing I am appreciated.

My best friend has this motto, and he got it from me, he asked me once, why are you always able to find the good in people and in situations? and I told him, that I try to find a little of myself in there or the situation! It made him laugh. So we always end every call w/ the line "Stay Positive."

A fulfilling and meaningful life... now that is deeper. I think we all want to be happy, and so in some ways we drudge through the stuff we dont like in order to do the stuff we do like. The only difference is in WHO is the most happy, is that those that leave the bad stuff behind... and don''t waste so much time dwelling on the Issues of the past. Ie a bad day at work, a HORRIBLE Hair cut, a person that was mean to you, and the fact that those lumps on your thighs weren''t there a few years ago... It is hard. I am not saying that it isn''t nice to vent... but sometimes people who dwell on the negative get sucked in, and are just unhappy. OR, when you spend so much of your time talking about other people. That is a big one too, here you are with this one great life to live, and you are wasting it talking about others. Seems a shame.

Oh, and really good sex I hear does wonders!

But not to wax poetic on you... I have bad days too, and I do love gossip! I just try to live in the now, with preparations for my future... and I have a dog and kitty, who love to snuggle when I get a case of the melancholies... I think they smell it! But what would I know? They also eat scraps I drop on the floor, and the cat tries to get affection from a dog who is just trying to smell her naughty bits.

 

[joflier]

I think of myself as being happy. And I equate being happy with also being optimistic. Bad things happen. They always will. There will always be downer days, but if you are always sunny side up, then it just seems to pass so quickly, and the bad times just float along without ever bringing you down.
As far as having a meaningful and fulfilling life, I think I''m too young to really have a true answer to that. I try to find joy in whatever I can in life, both big and small. Take time to stop and smell the roses, if you will, and that just makes life, one day to the next worth living, to me.

 

[iheartscience]

Yep, I''m happy! Very happy, actually. Of course there are things I want to achieve that I haven''t yet (like buying a house) but I know that will happen soon enough.

I think the definition of a happy and fulfilling life is probably different for everyone. For me it''s being happy with my job, myself (physically, mentally, etc.), my relationships, having hobbies, traveling, exercising, etc. As long as I''ve got most of those bases covered I''ll always be happy.

 

[TravelingGal]

Yes, I consider myself a happy person. Why? Well, it takes way too much energy and effort to be miserable for me.

Is my life meaningful and fulfilling? Interestingly, yes. Not sure why, as I have a run of the mill job (a good job, but nothing enviable), way too little vacation time, way too much of the world to see, and a long while before I see more of it because I''ve got a pretty cool hubby and kid. Hm...maybe...perspective?

I don''t know if it''s external or internal forces driving my happiness. If I knew, I''d sell the secret as the key to happiness!

All I know is that in the scheme of the billions of people in this world, and all of the billions who lived before and will live after, I''m just a speck. I just prefer to be a happy speck and be a joy to the specks around me.

Because I personally don''t believe I''ll have the chance to do it all over again.

 

[decodelighted]

There are a lot of articles about happiness ... here is one I recall from last year.

I think happiness is sporadic & if made a "goal" will always prove elusive. Its the feather that''s always blowing just out of reach that gets pushed further and further away as your swings to grasp it get more frantic.

 

[coatimundi_org]

All things considered? Yes, I''m happy.

 

[somethingshiny]

I think happiness is a fleeting emotion. Fulfillment, contentment, those are states of being. So, to me, to be fulfilled and content is better and lasts longer that the "wahoo" feeling. I also equate "happiness" with the "in love" feeling. That true "I''m-so-in-love-I-can''t-eat-sleep-or-function" feeling. Both are really great, but it would be exhausting to live like that all the time.

 

[trillionaire]

Maybe try the "Happiness Hypothesis" for a different read.

 

[decodelighted]

I do think there's evidence that people have happiness *set points* ... kind of like a weight your body seems to gravitate toward ... or an general energy-level ... or being a morning or night person. If people start to feel drastically different than they did before -- time to investigate!


ETA: Realized I never answered the question really. I have a generally "cheery" disposition in social situations but I've had trouble living in my head too much, which can lead to over-thinking, over-analysis, self-absorption, anxiety blah blah. Learning coping mechanisms to derail that natural inclination has helped a lot in my overall outlook & satisfaction I guess. Whereas my DH is a much more naturally "happy" person.

 

[Miscka]

extremely

 

[TravelingGal]

So, would you all say that happiness is tied to money, at least somewhat?

I don''t care to be rich, but I have to say that since I''ve always had enough to make ends meet, it does relieve some major stresses in life.

Health would be the other factor.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

In the movie Sex and the City Charlotte says something very spot on, and it best sums up how I feel about my life...

I am happy. I may not be happy every minute of everyday...but collectively, I am happy. I find that doing the little things helps me maintain happiness most of all. Sometimes I treat myself to little luxuries...or take long bubble bathes right after work and then go directly to bed--skipping dinner and everything...sometimes I play with my Chihuahua''s for hours and hours and let my laundry or whatever else I "should" be doing just sit there...occasionally, Mark and I will both call in sick, which is childish, but it feels so good--like playing hookey.

Yes, I am leading an meaningful life...maybe not a board spectrum...but I''m very meaningful to my husband, my dogs, my family and friends.

I think you are responsible for your own happiness. Sometimes it can come from eatting dinner at the nicest resturant, or simply laying in bed all day watching movies...happiness, to me, doesn''t need to be a blanket emotion you feel every minute of everyday, but rather something that lines everything else in your life.

 

[Circe]

Date: 1/29/2009 1:18:40 PM
Author: tlh
You know, I find when you don''t compare yourself to others, and enjoy what you have, it is hard NOT to be happy. Happiness to me is the little stuff, finding a $20 in a jacket pocket that I haven''t worn all season, being able to zip up a pair of jeans fresh out of the wash AFTER the holidays! (YES!) a cold beer with a loved one, an email saying how I helped someone through a rough patch, and knowing I am appreciated.


My best friend has this motto, and he got it from me, he asked me once, why are you always able to find the good in people and in situations? and I told him, that I try to find a little of myself in there or the situation! It made him laugh. So we always end every call w/ the line ''Stay Positive.''


A fulfilling and meaningful life... now that is deeper. I think we all want to be happy, and so in some ways we drudge through the stuff we dont like in order to do the stuff we do like. The only difference is in WHO is the most happy, is that those that leave the bad stuff behind... and don''t waste so much time dwelling on the Issues of the past. Ie a bad day at work, a HORRIBLE Hair cut, a person that was mean to you, and the fact that those lumps on your thighs weren''t there a few years ago... It is hard. I am not saying that it isn''t nice to vent... but sometimes people who dwell on the negative get sucked in, and are just unhappy. OR, when you spend so much of your time talking about other people. That is a big one too, here you are with this one great life to live, and you are wasting it talking about others. Seems a shame.


Oh, and really good sex I hear does wonders!

But not to wax poetic on you... I have bad days too, and I do love gossip! I just try to live in the now, with preparations for my future... and I have a dog and kitty, who love to snuggle when I get a case of the melancholies... I think they smell it! But what would I know? They also eat scraps I drop on the floor, and the cat tries to get affection from a dog who is just trying to smell her naughty bits.

TLH, I always love reading your posts. This both cracked me up and made me smile in recognition.

 

[Porridge]

Sure I'm happy! Why? Because I want to be.

My best friends have a saying about me - that if they dropped me upside down 6 inches off the ground, I'd still land on my feet. That doesn't mean I'm lucky, or that good things simply "happen" to me to make me happy, it means I'm positive and make the best of things. For example, my FI has been living here in the US since Sept. I finished exams in Dec and moved from Europe to start my internship. However that fell through at the last minute cos the hospital won't insure internationals. So now I have to turn around and go home again, and leave FI here. Sure that sucks, but all I'm thinking about is how great it will be to finally be home with friends (I studied abroad for the last few years), how much easier wedding planning will be at home, how I can concentrate on the hospital and FI can concentrate on finishing his dissertation...you just have to decide that you're in charge of what you do and how you feel about the things that life throws at you.

Allycat, I do know how you feel now. I (I think most people?) go through some dark patches in life where you wake up in the mornings and just don't feel good about things. I would strongly recommend cognitive therapy to help you change your thinking a little bit. It's easy for someone to tell you to be in control of your happiness, but you need to be taught how to do that.

There's an excellent book called Manage Your Mind by Gillian Butler and Tony Hope.

But please think about the cognitive therapy, it's a wonderful tool to have.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

At this stage of my life I consider myself very happy. Not to say my life is perfect but I have been on both sides and have spent many years extremely unhappy and depressed. I have learned over the years that happiness (for me anyways) is mostly a state of mind. If I let myself fall into that hole, which I think is easy, I think I miss out on so much. Life is much better to accept the things you cannot change and appreciate the blessings you have. It is hard to be depressed watching my daughter giggle or get SO excited to see me. She is like the best, natural antidepressant ever.

 

[allycat0303]

Date: 1/29/2009 1:45:49 PM
Author: decodelighted
I do think there''s evidence that people have happiness *set points* ... kind of like a weight your body seems to gravitate toward ... or an general energy-level ... or being a morning or night person. If people start to feel drastically different than they did before -- time to investigate!



ETA: Realized I never answered the question really. I have a generally ''cheery'' disposition in social situations but I''ve had trouble living in my head too much, which can lead to over-thinking, over-analysis, self-absorption, anxiety blah blah. Learning coping mechanisms to derail that natural inclination has helped a lot in my overall outlook & satisfaction I guess. Whereas my DH is a much more naturally ''happy'' person.

Deco, your post really resonated with me. I try to look at my life objectively, and can''t find something that I would REALLY need to change. It would be easier if I could point and say *that makes me unhappy*. When you wrote that you live in your head too much, it was like a light bulb moment. I wonder if that''s why I can''t go beyond saying I am content. I just live in my head too, and get very anxious and worry about EVERYTHING, so I never end up living today, but worrying about tomorrow. I''ve never actually felt settled, and peaceful. I''ve also wondered if my past prevents me from being truly happy, kind of like you survive, but you are never whole, so never get beyond the *content* phase. My fiance is a much more naturally *happy* person too. Presently, he''s going through a difficult time with his Dad, but he''s never got down on life. He always maintains that he could not imagine being happier. That is life is exactly what he always wanted it to be. I''m always stunned by his immense satisfaction with his life.

I will say that all of the people I know to be *happy* are men. I don''t know, I''m starting to wonder if women are wired differently.

 

[WishfulThinking]

I am happy. Overall I am absolutely content with my life-- I feel fulfilled and very lucky to be me a lot of the time. Life will always have ups and downs, but I''ve managed to stick through all of them so far, and my own sense of courage and accomplishment in handling the unexpected has pleasantly surprised me and further contributed to my overall happy state. I definitely feel as if my life is meaningful.

I am a very emotional person, so sometimes perhaps "happy" isn''t the right word to use to describe my state. Definitely content. I have a lot of tangibly happy emotions, and a lot of stress, and often a lot of sadness, but those more negative emotions are usually tied to things over which I have very little control and I do not allow them to interfere with my own state of *being*, if that makes sense. *I* can be content even if there are days when things feel as if they are falling down around me because I know it''s not the first time they''ve fallen, and it won''t be the last time they fall, and I''ve always managed to come through. Forcing myself to recognize that and feel strong makes me happy.

I also spend a lot of time reflecting about how fortunate I am to be able to have the experiences I''ve had in life, and to be able to pursue my dreams and be true to myself. Part of my state of contentedness comes from recognizing and appreciating things like that.

 

[tlh]

Date: 1/29/2009 1:58:28 PM
Author: Circe

Date: 1/29/2009 1:18:40 PM
Author: tlh
You know, I find when you don''t compare yourself to others, and enjoy what you have, it is hard NOT to be happy. Happiness to me is the little stuff, finding a $20 in a jacket pocket that I haven''t worn all season, being able to zip up a pair of jeans fresh out of the wash AFTER the holidays! (YES!) a cold beer with a loved one, an email saying how I helped someone through a rough patch, and knowing I am appreciated.


My best friend has this motto, and he got it from me, he asked me once, why are you always able to find the good in people and in situations? and I told him, that I try to find a little of myself in there or the situation! It made him laugh. So we always end every call w/ the line ''Stay Positive.''


A fulfilling and meaningful life... now that is deeper. I think we all want to be happy, and so in some ways we drudge through the stuff we dont like in order to do the stuff we do like. The only difference is in WHO is the most happy, is that those that leave the bad stuff behind... and don''t waste so much time dwelling on the Issues of the past. Ie a bad day at work, a HORRIBLE Hair cut, a person that was mean to you, and the fact that those lumps on your thighs weren''t there a few years ago... It is hard. I am not saying that it isn''t nice to vent... but sometimes people who dwell on the negative get sucked in, and are just unhappy. OR, when you spend so much of your time talking about other people. That is a big one too, here you are with this one great life to live, and you are wasting it talking about others. Seems a shame.


Oh, and really good sex I hear does wonders!

But not to wax poetic on you... I have bad days too, and I do love gossip! I just try to live in the now, with preparations for my future... and I have a dog and kitty, who love to snuggle when I get a case of the melancholies... I think they smell it! But what would I know? They also eat scraps I drop on the floor, and the cat tries to get affection from a dog who is just trying to smell her naughty bits.

TLH, I always love reading your posts. This both cracked me up and made me smile in recognition.

Smile in recognition... does your dog smell your kitties nether-regions too?

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 1/29/2009 2:27:11 PM
Author: allycat0303

Date: 1/29/2009 1:45:49 PM
Author: decodelighted
I do think there''s evidence that people have happiness *set points* ... kind of like a weight your body seems to gravitate toward ... or an general energy-level ... or being a morning or night person. If people start to feel drastically different than they did before -- time to investigate!



ETA: Realized I never answered the question really. I have a generally ''cheery'' disposition in social situations but I''ve had trouble living in my head too much, which can lead to over-thinking, over-analysis, self-absorption, anxiety blah blah. Learning coping mechanisms to derail that natural inclination has helped a lot in my overall outlook & satisfaction I guess. Whereas my DH is a much more naturally ''happy'' person.

Deco, your post really resonated with me. I try to look at my life objectively, and can''t find something that I would REALLY need to change. It would be easier if I could point and say *that makes me unhappy*. When you wrote that you live in your head too much, it was like a light bulb moment. I wonder if that''s why I can''t go beyond saying I am content. I just live in my head too, and get very anxious and worry about EVERYTHING, so I never end up living today, but worrying about tomorrow. I''ve never actually felt settled, and peaceful. I''ve also wondered if my past prevents me from being truly happy, kind of like you survive, but you are never whole, so never get beyond the *content* phase. My fiance is a much more naturally *happy* person too. Presently, he''s going through a difficult time with his Dad, but he''s never got down on life. He always maintains that he could not imagine being happier. That is life is exactly what he always wanted it to be. I''m always stunned by his immense satisfaction with his life.

I will say that all of the people I know to be *happy* are men. I don''t know, I''m starting to wonder if women are wired differently.

I just read an article recently where Simon Baron Cohen (related to Sacha of Borat fame) did a study with cartoon trains to help teach autistic children emotion. his theory is the autistic mind is the extreme male mind, working off patterns and logic and completely devoid of emotion.

I do think women are wired differently. We wonder, do I FEEL happy? TGuy is happy if logically things are going well in his life with work, home life, and friends. If all those things are good, then he should be happy, right? And he generally is (although he''s a moody bugger sometimes, so this theory doesn''t always work out perfectly).

I can''t say my mind is like the "male" mind...I can be emotional as well. But I always feel like I am a very blessed person, and I have a hard time spurning my blessings and being unhappy.

 

[Babyblue033]

Date: 1/29/2009 1:18:40 PM
Author: tlh
Happiness to me is the little stuff, finding a $20 in a jacket pocket that I haven''t worn all season, being able to zip up a pair of jeans fresh out of the wash AFTER the holidays! (YES!) a cold beer with a loved one, an email saying how I helped someone through a rough patch, and knowing I am appreciated.

This is exactly how I am too, finding happiness in little silly things. Right now I''m happy having a McFlurry

Date: 1/29/2009 1:40:55 PM
Author: somethingshiny
I think happiness is a fleeting emotion. Fulfillment, contentment, those are states of being. So, to me, to be fulfilled and content is better and lasts longer that the ''wahoo'' feeling. I also equate ''happiness'' with the ''in love'' feeling. That true ''I''m-so-in-love-I-can''t-eat-sleep-or-function'' feeling. Both are really great, but it would be exhausting to live like that all the time.

I guess it depends on how one defines "happiness". For me, those long lasting fulfillment and contentment ARE happiness. I''m really not looking for over-the-moon-this-is-the-best-moment-of-my-life sort of happiness, just as that wasn''t the sort of love I looked for either. I also find the highs and lows of extreme happiness rather exhausting

 

[tlh]

Date: 1/29/2009 2:36:30 PM
Author: Babyblue033

Date: 1/29/2009 1:18:40 PM
Author: tlh
Happiness to me is the little stuff, finding a $20 in a jacket pocket that I haven''t worn all season, being able to zip up a pair of jeans fresh out of the wash AFTER the holidays! (YES!) a cold beer with a loved one, an email saying how I helped someone through a rough patch, and knowing I am appreciated.

This is exactly how I am too, finding happiness in little silly things. Right now I''m happy having a McFlurry

Date: 1/29/2009 1:40:55 PM
Author: somethingshiny
I think happiness is a fleeting emotion. Fulfillment, contentment, those are states of being. So, to me, to be fulfilled and content is better and lasts longer that the ''wahoo'' feeling. I also equate ''happiness'' with the ''in love'' feeling. That true ''I''m-so-in-love-I-can''t-eat-sleep-or-function'' feeling. Both are really great, but it would be exhausting to live like that all the time.

I guess it depends on how one defines ''happiness''. For me, those long lasting fulfillment and contentment ARE happiness. I''m really not looking for over-the-moon-this-is-the-best-moment-of-my-life sort of happiness, just as that wasn''t the sort of love I looked for either. I also find the highs and lows of extreme happiness rather exhausting

OK... finding happiness in weird places... I LOVE THE MCFLURRY SPOONS. I like totally keep them, and eat my yogurts with them later, it like fools me into thinking I''m eating icrecream!

 

[Rhea]

I''ve worked very hard to be content and to have reasonable expectations. I think I''m happy. I''m not ecstatic and things do go wrong. All the focus on happiness seems extreme, there are so many books and so much advice. I''m content most days and overall and I think that''s enough.

 

[musey]

In some ways, yes very, in other ways, no not yet. I compartmentalize my life very firmly. So even though I''m professionally frustrated and as yet unfulfilled, I''m generally very happy because I''ve found fulfillment and satisfaction with my personal life.

I think all of life is a balancing act

Sort of the sum of its parts.

 

[LGK]

This is something I do ponder a lot. For example, my mom, whom I love to death, is probably the happiest, most generally contented person I know. It isn''t a function of what surrounds her- like, she doesn''t have a *perfect life*- but she is generally the happiest person I know.

I don''t always think it''s a good thing, though. For example, she stayed in an intolerable situation with her first husband (my father) for over twenty years because, well, she could stand it, because she wasn''t miserable day-to-day, even though most people would have been.

I''m a lot more like my father- introverted, tend to get depressed easily, stubborn- and though I envy my mother''s contented-ness often enough, I also wonder if I would have made as good a life for myself, if I was an easily contented person.

Day to day, for myself, I''d say I''m happier than I ever have been. But my nature isn''t to be content like my mom. That being said, I''ve learned how to manage some of my larger personality flaws that can be obstacles much better; that tends to keep me happier and less likely to get actually depressed... that and eating and exercizing. (For example, as a teen/young adult, I had a terrible temper- I''d find myself in a situation that would frustrate me, and instead of doing my best to fix it and behaving rationally, I''d freak out and lose my temper totally; also I was a horrible procrastinator, which I''d then brood about endlessly. Knowing how to keep my cool and not lose it over the slightest bump in the road helped a heck of a lot in my general day-to-day happiness/functionality level, and it was definitely a learned behavior and not something that came naturally to me.

I would never have guessed I could manage fifteen people and actually do it well, for example, or run a small business. If you''d told me at 19 that''s what I would be doing at 32, I simply wouldn''t have believed it. But, I do both and enjoy what I do a lot.

I do think having a job (two, actually- managing at the antique mall I work at, and my mineral makeup business) that I love and look forward to doing, does make me happy. I love the people I work with, I love antiques and getting to play with estate jewelry, and again- both things I think really go a long way towards making me happier than I ever have been. And being married to someone who isn''t like my father, who actually treats me very well and is a good person, is awesome too.

It does make me leery of making big changes like having kids, though- because I''m quite happy with how my life is right now, I don''t want to fiddle with it, yanno?

 

[Haven]

So what does *happiness* mean to you?
Happiness is living my life according to my own will, and doing so unobstructed by nagging self-doubt or distrust. This means living in a manner which best suits my nature, and making choices based on my own beliefs about how I want to live.
The nagging self-doubt would be thoughts about whether I am truly happy, or making the right choices, or doing the right things for me, and I don't have those. Distrust would evidence itself in a similar manner, I suppose.

. . . and would you describe yourself as happy person?
Yes, very.
For me, I know that beyond living in a way that best suits me, I also need to minimize the amount of stress in my life. I let go of worrying about things beyond my own internal locus of control years ago, and I never allow someone to stay in my life if they bring negativity or stress. Personally, I need this sort of stress-minimalization to go hand-in-hand with making choices based on what truly matters to me in order to be "happy."
Or maybe a better question, would you say you have a fulfilling and meaningful life?
Yes, very.

ETA:
Is it a tangible emotion in your life?
For me, I identify happiness as the *lack* of a nagging feeling that perhaps I am not happy. I know this is a bit nebulous, so think about this: Have you ever had a stomachache that was so horrible you just wished that you could go back to feeling nothing at all in your stomach? (I have. I always think about how much I took it for granted that my stomach didn't hurt so badly by never even recognizing that my stomach felt fine in the first place.) I look at my own happiness as that lack of a stomachache--everything is going so well that I don't even realize that it is or is not one thing or the other. I'm not lamenting any pain, and it's such a regular state of being that I'm not recognizing that the happiness exists either.

Okay, that may not help, but that's as clearly as I can articulate it at the moment.
I guess you can say I feel the happiness when I am aware of an awareness that everything is going so smoothly there is nothing to lament. (Not much better, huh? I'll think on it and come back later.)