any stay home mom? do you feel guilty spending on jewelries?

[diamondemma]

Hey PSers! i am a stay home mom and I am a long time jewelry lover. after i found the this website and followed for a while, my taste gets more "luxury" and i am obsessive with the fine jewelry pieces -- I think PSers know what i am talking about

so since last year on, i started to buy pieces. the process of hunting and buying was always a tangled feeling of joy and guiltiness. i think it is because:

1. I don't make money. i feel i am using the money my DH worked so hard to make for my own joy.

2. every time i spend money on jewelry, i would think this could be piles and piles of toys and clothes and food for my child, or this could be some new furniture for home, or months of grocery...everything else is more useful than a piece of jewelry and i feel so selfish.

3. being a stay home mom, i don't have a lot opportunities to dress up. and i dont have a lot chances to wear them at all. i barely wear earrings and necklace ever since kid was born. they got scratches on my son when he rubs his little head all over my face and neck, which he does a lot. no chance to wear a bracelet at all. rings have to be worn with care, since i have to chase after kid all the time, clime up and down with him, pull him off from places. etc etc.

4. what makes it even worse: my DH's hobby doesn't need to spend a lot money at all, which put me in a bad position.

5. we all know buying fine jewelries is not a best way of investment. usually you loose money when you try to sell it.

I don't know if any other PSer is in the same boat with me. or have you found a solution to it? i'd like to discuss with you about it! i don't think it is wrong to have an expensive hobby, but that guiltiness just can't go. what can i do? what can I do? what should i do?!

 

[Laila619]

Re: any stay home mom? do you feel guilty spending on jewelr

I could have written your entire post! I agree with everything you said. At this stage of my life, I don't have a lot of need for bling as it's a bit impractical when I stay home with 4 kids all day. So I have learned to be happy with what I already have for now and I pretty much put myself on a buying ban. When I want a "fix", I ogle all the rings here. There will be time for bling again one day, when I go back to work.

 

[LLJsmom]

Re: any stay home mom? do you feel guilty spending on jewelr

I could have written your entire post! I agree with everything you said. At this stage of my life, I don't have a lot of need for bling as it's a bit impractical when I stay home with 4 kids all day. So I have learned to be happy with what I already have for now and I pretty much put myself on a buying ban. When I want a "fix", I ogle all the rings here. There will be time for bling again one day, when I go back to work.

If you staying home with four kids, I think you deserve more bling than anyone I know, well, maybe not more than the mom staying at home with 5 kids...

 

[Dancing Fire]

Re: any stay home mom? do you feel guilty spending on jewelr

2. every time i spend money on jewelry, i would think this could be piles and piles of toys and clothes and food for my child, or this could be some new furniture for home, or months of grocery...everything else is more useful than a piece of jewelry and i feel so selfish.

These things shouldn't be on your high priority list after you join a diamond forum... Welcome to PS..

 

[kenny]

Re: any stay home mom? do you feel guilty spending on jewelr

I'd give the same advice regardless of who is bringing home the bacon.
Live within your means and if there are funds for everything else enjoy your bling ... guilt free.

If both are fine with it I see no problem with each spending very different amounts on hobbies.

IMO, this is an important subject to discuss with your SO.

 

[missy]

Re: any stay home mom? do you feel guilty spending on jewelr

You may not make the actual dollars but you are certainly contributing to your household in a very worthy, meaningful and almost priceless way by raising your children and caring for them. So I take exception to your wording using your dh's money that he worked so hard to get. IMO that is both your money and you are both working hard to contribute to the household running and functioning etc. His money = your money and without your valuable contribution he wouldn't be able to do his job at work and make money.

I agree that this is something you and your dh should have a serious talk about so you can see where you are in terms of fun money and what you can actually easily spend on your bling hobby. Don't feel guilty. Instead find out what you can comfortably budget for bling and then enjoy!

 

[tyty333]

Re: any stay home mom? do you feel guilty spending on jewelr

Hi Diamondemma,

I'm in the same boat as you are except my kids are older (young adult, teen and pre-teen). We live well within our means but
my DH wants to retire some day and in my mind you can never have enough in your retirement fund. I have a hard time
reconciling the guilt of spending money on a luxury item vs. stashing it away so my DH can retire a day/week/month earlier.

Here are some of the things I do to help keep my guilt level to a minimal...

1) I don't have the opportunity to wear a lot of jewelry either so I try to keep it to things that I can wear with jeans/tee shirt as well
as dress up. No need to waste money on something I can only wear twice a year.

2)I save more expensive wants for big birthdays/big anniversaries. It gives me something to look forward too and for me, the hunt is a great deal of fun.

3)Spread the quilt...If you want a bezeled diamond necklace. Buy the stone for a birthday then have it set for your anniversary
or Valentines day. (Chops the guilt into smaller more manageable pieces )

4)I also keep the cost of my wants minimal. Most of them are around $1000ish used (or less if I find a good deal). My current wants
are huggie diamond earrings, DBTY necklace, and DBTY braclet.

5)I'm all about pre-loved/used.

6)Like many other PSers, I've fallen for old stones (OECs) which in general tend to be less expensive than their equivalent
round brilliants. More bang for my buck.

7)If possible, accumulate parts/pieces for an item over time. For example, one bigger item I want is a 5 stone graduated OEC ring.
Well, I'm not going to just go out and buy one (it's obviously over $1000). I'm going to start collecting the stones then have it
put together some day(at least that's the plan). Also feeds my need for being creative and makes the piece mean more to me
because I was part of the process.

So, you can see I have managed to work my way through the guilt . I've obviously spent way to much time thinking about
it! I know some people will say that it takes all the fun out of it, but with my brain (I tend to be more logical), reducing the
guilt helps me to enjoy my jewelry items even more. Anyway, maybe a few of the above items will help you.

Welcome to the wild, crazy world of PS . The last and least expensive idea is living vicariously through other PSers.
I'm always truly happy when a PSer finds something that they really love.

 

[Maisie]

Re: any stay home mom? do you feel guilty spending on jewelr

As long as you pay your bills and everyone is fed and clothed I can't see why you shouldn't have pretty things.
I'm assuming your husband doesn't object to your bling purchases?

Another way to look at it is you won't always be at home with little ones. You will most likely go back to work some day. And when you do you will have all the jewellery you need to look absolutely fabulous!

 

[iLander]

Re: any stay home mom? do you feel guilty spending on jewelr

Oh, please.

How much do you think it would cost to hire someone to do what you do?

Someone to care for the children, clean the house, make the meals, do the laundry, drive the children, teach the children the alphabet, to read, etc?

I think I just counted a nanny, a housekeeper, a cook, a laundry service, a chauffer and a tutor.

How much salary is that?

Don't forget the in-home nurse and first aid care.

If you add that ll up, and consider that you prefer to be "paid" in jewelry, your DH is getting off cheap.

By my "calculations", you are probably behind a bit and need a lot more jewelry.

 

[House Cat]

Re: any stay home mom? do you feel guilty spending on jewelr

Oh, please.

How much do you think it would cost to hire someone to do what you do?

Someone to care for the children, clean the house, make the meals, do the laundry, drive the children, teach the children the alphabet, to read, etc?

I think I just counted a nanny, a housekeeper, a cook, a laundry service, a chauffer and a tutor.

How much salary is that?

Don't forget the in-home nurse and first aid care.

If you add that ll up, and consider that you prefer to be "paid" in jewelry, your DH is getting off cheap.

By my "calculations", you are probably behind a bit and need a lot more jewelry.

Thank you for this. I have a tendency to undervalue myself as a SAHM. This really puts things into perspective for me.

 

[LLJsmom]

Re: any stay home mom? do you feel guilty spending on jewelr

Oh, please.

How much do you think it would cost to hire someone to do what you do?

Someone to care for the children, clean the house, make the meals, do the laundry, drive the children, teach the children the alphabet, to read, etc?

I think I just counted a nanny, a housekeeper, a cook, a laundry service, a chauffer and a tutor.

How much salary is that?

Don't forget the in-home nurse and first aid care.

If you add that ll up, and consider that you prefer to be "paid" in jewelry, your DH is getting off cheap.

By my "calculations", you are probably behind a bit and need a lot more jewelry.

I didn't want to actually do the math, but EXACTLY this. I only have two, and let me just say "going" somewhere out of the house to work is much easier than being a stay at home mom, speaking for myself only. I'm not saying it's not a privilege and a blessing to be able to stay at home and raise my kids. It doesn't diminish how HARD that job is. I would expect my DH to bring home the bling to me.

 

[arkieb1]

Re: any stay home mom? do you feel guilty spending on jewelr

Most of the time I don't feel guilty at all although I will say that I am a hands in the dirty, too many dogs, making a mess with the kids type Mum who doesn't wear the jeweller that often accept when I go out as well, usually jeans, t-shirts and bling

 

[OreoRosies86]

Re: any stay home mom? do you feel guilty spending on jewelr

You have a full time job, you just don't get paid in the traditional sense

 

[diamondemma]

Re: any stay home mom? do you feel guilty spending on jewelr

Hey all you sweet PSers! thank you so much for all the posts responding to my topic! it is so inspiring and encouraging on ways that work for you to deal with the guiltiness! and i am so surprised how well you did your "calculations": yes, i am now quite behind on my collection -- my list grows day after day (and thank you PS so much! you only make the list grow longer faster). so far i only made small steps with less expensive ones, but sooner or later i will have to seriously consider some expensive expenses, and that will surly bring some hard "discussion" between me and husband. you are also right that my DH is not supportive of my hobby. actually, he doesn't understand it at all. he is the kind of person that doesn't care about jewelry at all and doesn't understand why anyone ever need jewelries. he would't notice at all even if Elizabeth Taylor is standing in front of him with all her legendary pieces on! and whenever we have savings, the first thing he would consider is investment, retirement fund, home projects and so on, which makes him the bigger person and i am the smaller one comparing his wishes vs. my wishes. oh boy i am so jealous of those who have a appreciating and supportive husband! i understand at this stage i don't need much blings. but after day-after-day of kid-chasing, mess-dealing, so-worn-out, and everyday-is-the-same life, this hobby highlights my day and brings much joy.for me, it might be more of an emotional support than financially if my husband can understand my hobby and more or less give me comfort and help deal with my guiltiness.

sigh...

 

[luv2sparkle]

Re: any stay home mom? do you feel guilty spending on jewelr

Diamondemma, I am a stay at home mom too, and have been for a really long time. My last of five, just graduated from high school this year. I have felt all the things you mentioned in your post.

I have always loved bling. My first engagement ring was so awful I upgraded it around our five year mark. I felt no guilt at all, even though we had very little money and two small kids. It made me happy. After that, most of my jewelry was bought by my hubby for birthdays and anniversaries and christmas. I had just a few pieces but I wore them all of the time.

I would say this. You give up a lot to be a stay at home mom. You put your dreams and desires to the side for the sake of your children. It is a worthwhile thing to do, and I am glad I did it. Don't make the mistake of denying yourself every pleasure for the sake of your family. You may be able to do it for a while but eventually you will have given up too much. You are right, you don't buy jewelry for an investment, you buy it for the enjoyment it gives you. Even though you are not bringing home a paycheck, you still deserve enjoyment.

Keep your wish list reasonable and purchase one thing at a time or save up for that bigger thing. I often requested that gifts be combined when I wanted a larger item. Sometimes the larger item was only a few hundred dollars but at the time that was what I could do.

In our early years, my husband didn't have expensive hobbies like he does now either. You still need to find things that give you enjoyment, even more so than you hubby. Staying home with kids can be draining on you. You sacrifice every day, without much of a pat on the back, like a paycheck gives you. Don't feel guilty, you really do deserve some small enjoyments. There will come a time in your life that you can spend more on yourself. Now is the time to pick some pieces you can wear every day. If you are anything like me, when you look in the mirror and see some pretty earrings or a necklace it will make you smile. It is worth it, for that alone!

 

[luv2sparkle]

Re: any stay home mom? do you feel guilty spending on jewelr

My husband didn't get my love for jewelry early on either. Hence, the awful engagement ring. It doesn't matter if he gets it, only that it give you joy. Eventually, he will see that, but right now he has other things on his mind. Give it time. Just don't wait for him to be totally on board before you allow yourself some small enjoyments.

 

[Niel]

Re: any stay home mom? do you feel guilty spending on jewelr

Oh, please.

How much do you think it would cost to hire someone to do what you do?

Someone to care for the children, clean the house, make the meals, do the laundry, drive the children, teach the children the alphabet, to read, etc?

I think I just counted a nanny, a housekeeper, a cook, a laundry service, a chauffer and a tutor.

How much salary is that?

Don't forget the in-home nurse and first aid care.

If you add that ll up, and consider that you prefer to be "paid" in jewelry, your DH is getting off cheap.

By my "calculations", you are probably behind a bit and need a lot more jewelry.

I respect what stay at home mothers do, I would go batty if I stayed in with my kids every day. However, I never understood this argument. I do all of those things and also work. I don't have a housekeeper , maid, cook, or laundry service. I have to manage to do these things after a full day of work. That's not to say I have it " harder" or a sahm has it "easier". I just sometimes hear SAHM that I know soap box their situation, and it gets on my nerves a bit. (I don't think you're doing that at all, BTW!) Parenting is hard. Regardless of how you do it, as Yessie points out well below me

To answer your question, if your family allows for a certain % of spending money, who cares what its spent on, and what you do in your life shouldn't dictate that!

 

[yssie]

Re: any stay home mom? do you feel guilty spending on jewelr

SAHMs aren't any more or less deserving of the right to spend household income on bling than working mums, and working mums aren't any more or less deserving of the right to spend household income on bling than working SAHMs it's household money either way, and like Kenny said, IMO should be enjoyed without guilt if the means are there and other priorities are met...

I HATE comparisons of how much one type of parent is "worth" compared to the other - both can be incredibly rewarding, both necessitate significant sacrifice, and I'm completely confident that neither is "easier" or "more difficult" than the other! I agree with Niel - the vast majority of households with children are going to do everything they can to ensure their children have those same needs met, with or without a parent at home, and to suggest that one choice is more effective or fulfilling than the other is simply to further the battle women insist on waging against other women - I can't for the life of me figure out why!

 

[azstonie]

Re: any stay home mom? do you feel guilty spending on jewelr

All the responsibilities you fulfill are for 24-hour periods, consecutively; this increases the value of those responsibilities/services/skills commensurately.

 

[luv2sparkle]

Re: any stay home mom? do you feel guilty spending on jewelr

I agree with you Yssie. Both SAHM's and working women both are deserving of bling. But a woman working outside the home gets affirmation in the form of a paycheck, and has the opportunity for a boss or co-worker to observe the hard work she puts in and tell her so. That is missing for most stay at home moms.

I would never want to say one job is better than the other. Both are needed. Both are hard, but in different ways. When I worked, I felt guilty leaving my kids and when I stayed home I felt guilty because I wished I could go back to work. A working woman may feel for entitled to spend household income on herself than the mom who doesn't bring home an actual paycheck.

 

[LLJsmom]

Re: any stay home mom? do you feel guilty spending on jewelr

I'll make this as short as possible. I should have applied my comments only to ME. FOR ME, it was harder to stay at home with the kids (when they were young) than to go to work. Maybe this is only because of my personal temperment and disposition. It was easier for me (mentally and emotionally) to be at the office than to deal with the challenges of being a stay at home mom. A zillions things pulling me in different directions. The guilt, giving up the extra income, being completely responsible for my kids for 8-10 hours a day. I'm better able to handle office stress than home stress. This is JUST ME. I really identified with the comments that luv2sparkle made.

You give up a lot to be a stay at home mom. You put your dreams and desires to the side for the sake of your children. It is a worthwhile thing to do, and I am glad I did it.

I would have been too stressed to stay at home. I worried about finances and could not let go of the fact that I was perfectly capable of bringing home a good salary, and decided to work and make money instead of sacrificing other things that we could not buy without my salary (everything from certain groceries to stuff for home, to vacations to things I wanted to buy for myself and my family), and manage on one income. That was me and my decision. Looking back I would not do anything differently, but I wish I could have allowed myself that. I wish I could have handled "not working outside of the home", spent more time with my kids while they were younger because they grow up too quickly. So from my perspective, it's not about valuing the mom who works at home or the mom who works outside. It's about what I missed making the choices I made. I admire moms who made that choice simply b/c of what it would have cost me to make that choice. This is only MY situation. Not anyone else's. My intention was not to offend any mom, their decisions, or their situation.

 

[luv2sparkle]

Re: any stay home mom? do you feel guilty spending on jewelr

I didn't stay home out of some thought that it was the moral high ground or my kids would grow up better with a mom who was at home. It was a financial decision. The cost of daycare was too high. The other things factored in, but really that was it. When I got married, we focused on DH's career. I planned many things for myself but after we had kids, I realized I would have to sacrifice one for the other. My choices might not be right for someone else and I would not judge another woman for her own choices. We have to make the one that is right for each of us.

 

[CRYSTAL24K]

Re: any stay home mom? do you feel guilty spending on jewelr

I am a SAHM and I am also CFO of our family. I pay the bills and know what we can afford. DH is wonderful and wants me to have whatever I want, obviously not at the expense of our bank account. Since I am in charge of our finances and do my best to put my husband and children before my wants, I tend not to pull the trigger on jewelry purchases that I wouldn't hesitate to buy if I were bringing in an income, even though I know we can afford it. My DH wants me to be just as fabulous now, as a mom and wife, as I was when we were single and dating. He knows it makes me feel good. As another PS'er mentioned, speak to your DH about how you feel and how you can come to a middle ground regarding jewelry purchases.

BTW- We both knew that we wanted for me to stay home with the children, even when we were dating. We also knew that we would be giving up some luxuries like fancy vacations, luxury cars and other things, but it is worth it to us. There are pros and cons to every situation, but the love in the family is still the same

Last week I figured out exactly what I want for our 10 year anniversary which is next May. I have been deliberating over this since last year. I received a quote for exactly what I want and the price is right. However, I can't bring myself to ask DH if we can purchase it now instead of waiting until next year since I just reset my diamond into a new setting earlier this year and also purchased a few different bands to accompany it. It is not always easy exercising restraint, but I know that I will get my sparkly next year so I have something to look forward to.

I would only feel guilty if I was making a big ticket jewelry purchase without DH's input or constantly buying jewelry. For anniversaries that end in 5 or 0, I get a big (for us) budget for bling. Maybe this is an approach that would be a compromise for you and your DH. The bling budget is primarily a portion of DH's bonus and is something that we have discussed ahead of time (and I generally go over a bit- so I guess it is more of a guide). I work hard at home and DH appreciates what I do.

I hope that you and your honey come to a bling agreement in your favor!

 

[chrono]

Re: any stay home mom? do you feel guilty spending on jewelr

It is still joint income. Once all the basics are taken care of (retirement, bills, savings and etcetera), it is between you and your spouse as to how to spend it. If he has $X of play money each month, then you too should have $X of play money each month. It is up to you how to save/spend it be it to splash on several smaller pieces or get a single large piece.

 

[Laila619]

Re: any stay home mom? do you feel guilty spending on jewelr

I know that "his" income is joint income, so that isn't what would make me hesitate to make jewelry purchases. Rather, it's that there is only one income and not two anymore. IMO, it's best to save up as much as possible when a family has only one earner and spend more conservatively. It's just a smart financial move, in case the breadwinner were to lose his/her job.

 

[iLander]

Re: any stay home mom? do you feel guilty spending on jewelr

Oh, please.

How much do you think it would cost to hire someone to do what you do?

Someone to care for the children, clean the house, make the meals, do the laundry, drive the children, teach the children the alphabet, to read, etc?

I think I just counted a nanny, a housekeeper, a cook, a laundry service, a chauffer and a tutor.

How much salary is that?

Don't forget the in-home nurse and first aid care.

If you add that ll up, and consider that you prefer to be "paid" in jewelry, your DH is getting off cheap.

By my "calculations", you are probably behind a bit and need a lot more jewelry.

I respect what stay at home mothers do, I would go batty if I stayed in with my kids every day. However, I never understood this argument. I do all of those things and also work. I don't have a housekeeper , maid, cook, or laundry service. I have to manage to do these things after a full day of work. That's not to say I have it " harder" or a sahm has it "easier". I just sometimes hear SAHM that I know soap box their situation, and it gets on my nerves a bit. (I don't think you're doing that at all, BTW!) Parenting is hard. Regardless of how you do it, as Yessie points out well below me

To answer your question, if your family allows for a certain % of spending money, who cares what its spent on, and what you do in your life shouldn't dictate that!

If you do all of those things and also work, then you can add those "saved salaries" to your bling budget, lol! Just kidding, but imagine the cost if you had to pay someone for those services.

I once looked into the cost of hiring a taxi to drive my kids to school. It was a long drive and it was $60 EACH WAY.

And if you are paying for childcare, then you understand, first hand, there is a direct monetary value associated with staying home and raising the kids.

The argument is just the idea that the time of a WAHM (I prefer Work at Home, not Stay at Home ) caregiver does have a monetary worth.

I worked for the entire childhoods of both my children. I paid others to raise, drive, feed, etc., my kids. It was not free.

 

[chrono]

Re: any stay home mom? do you feel guilty spending on jewelr

I agree that it should be Work at Home, not Stay at Home.

 

[madelise]

Re: any stay home mom? do you feel guilty spending on jewelr

Oh, please.

How much do you think it would cost to hire someone to do what you do?

Someone to care for the children, clean the house, make the meals, do the laundry, drive the children, teach the children the alphabet, to read, etc?

I think I just counted a nanny, a housekeeper, a cook, a laundry service, a chauffer and a tutor.

How much salary is that?

Don't forget the in-home nurse and first aid care.

If you add that ll up, and consider that you prefer to be "paid" in jewelry, your DH is getting off cheap.

By my "calculations", you are probably behind a bit and need a lot more jewelry.

I respect what stay at home mothers do, I would go batty if I stayed in with my kids every day. However, I never understood this argument. I do all of those things and also work. I don't have a housekeeper , maid, cook, or laundry service. I have to manage to do these things after a full day of work. That's not to say I have it " harder" or a sahm has it "easier". I just sometimes hear SAHM that I know soap box their situation, and it gets on my nerves a bit. (I don't think you're doing that at all, BTW!) Parenting is hard. Regardless of how you do it, as Yessie points out well below me

To answer your question, if your family allows for a certain % of spending money, who cares what its spent on, and what you do in your life shouldn't dictate that!

If you do all of those things and also work, then you can add those "saved salaries" to your bling budget, lol! Just kidding, but imagine the cost if you had to pay someone for those services.

I once looked into the cost of hiring a taxi to drive my kids to school. It was a long drive and it was $60 EACH WAY.

And if you are paying for childcare, then you understand, first hand, there is a direct monetary value associated with staying home and raising the kids.

The argument is just the idea that the time of a WAHM (I prefer Work at Home, not Stay at Home ) caregiver does have a monetary worth.

I worked for the entire childhoods of both my children. I paid others to raise, drive, feed, etc., my kids. It was not free.

MUST READ: http://www.weareglory.com/blog/fathers-you-cant-afford-a-stay-at-home-mom

 

[NovemberBride]

Re: any stay home mom? do you feel guilty spending on jewelr

Oh, please.

How much do you think it would cost to hire someone to do what you do?

Someone to care for the children, clean the house, make the meals, do the laundry, drive the children, teach the children the alphabet, to read, etc?

I think I just counted a nanny, a housekeeper, a cook, a laundry service, a chauffer and a tutor.

How much salary is that?

Don't forget the in-home nurse and first aid care.

If you add that ll up, and consider that you prefer to be "paid" in jewelry, your DH is getting off cheap.

By my "calculations", you are probably behind a bit and need a lot more jewelry.

I respect what stay at home mothers do, I would go batty if I stayed in with my kids every day. However, I never understood this argument. I do all of those things and also work. I don't have a housekeeper , maid, cook, or laundry service. I have to manage to do these things after a full day of work. That's not to say I have it " harder" or a sahm has it "easier". I just sometimes hear SAHM that I know soap box their situation, and it gets on my nerves a bit. (I don't think you're doing that at all, BTW!) Parenting is hard. Regardless of how you do it, as Yessie points out well below me

To answer your question, if your family allows for a certain % of spending money, who cares what its spent on, and what you do in your life shouldn't dictate that!

If you do all of those things and also work, then you can add those "saved salaries" to your bling budget, lol! Just kidding, but imagine the cost if you had to pay someone for those services.

I once looked into the cost of hiring a taxi to drive my kids to school. It was a long drive and it was $60 EACH WAY.

And if you are paying for childcare, then you understand, first hand, there is a direct monetary value associated with staying home and raising the kids.

The argument is just the idea that the time of a WAHM (I prefer Work at Home, not Stay at Home ) caregiver does have a monetary worth.

I worked for the entire childhoods of both my children. I paid others to raise, drive, feed, etc., my kids. It was not free.

MUST READ: http://www.weareglory.com/blog/fathers-you-cant-afford-a-stay-at-home-mom

I am sorry, but that article is ridiculous. That man did not need a stay at home wife, he needed a servant. Both my husband and I work outside the home, and yes, we do outsource where we need to/can (daycare and house cleaning service), but that article is reaching too far - claiming that paying bills is equal to paying a financial advisor? DH and I manage to use online bill pay and pay all our bills on-time despite 2 very demanding careers. Perhaps if he got off his lazy butt and made his own lunch or bought his own undershirts he could "afford" for his wife to work. Don't get me wrong, I think stay at home (or work at home if you prefer) moms have a very difficult job. It is different than working outside of the home, easier in some ways and harder in others. But the idea of saying that it would really cost what he outlines in that article is absurd.

 

[iLander]

Re: any stay home mom? do you feel guilty spending on jewelr

Maybe he is reaching too far on some things, but some things are Way under in my opinion. For example, I never have gotten my house cleaned for less than $200. Usually it's in the $250 range, even back in the 1990's. If I could get it done for $50-$100, I'd have a housekeeper for sure.