Any animosity from diamond size??

[CellarDoor]

A larger diamond does not mean that it is better or more expensive than a smaller diamond. I have a minimalist taste towards jewelry, and I have a very simple one carat solitaire on a platinum band. My stone is ideal cut and nearly perfect in every way. My fiance could have bought a two carat diamond for the same price, but he knows that I prefer quality over quantity.

 

[tberube]

Nah. I have friends who have taken notice that my diamond is larger, and perhaps they may have wished theirs could match mine, but I haven't experienced any animosity about that. Of course, my diamond isn't huge by any standards, so it's not like it's going to outshine everyone around me.

I did have a friend, though, who was visibly angered when she saw my diamond was roughly the same size as hers, which she received just two months prior to mine. I think she was hoping that her diamond would be a lot bigger.

Sigh.

We're not friends anymore, to say the least. All that stuff is stoopid, and impolite. A coworker of mine has a much larger diamond than myself and I am dying to know the size out of sheer curiousity, but I haven't asked because I fear making her uncomfortable, or worse, making myself appear superficial and jealous.

 

[Anna0499]

Date: 7/11/2008 4:16:07 PM
Author: CellarDoor
A larger diamond does not mean that it is better or more expensive than a smaller diamond. I have a minimalist taste towards jewelry, and I have a very simple one carat solitaire on a platinum band. My stone is ideal cut and nearly perfect in every way. My fiance could have bought a two carat diamond for the same price, but he knows that I prefer quality over quantity.

It''s nice that your ring has great specs, but no one here was implying that size is everything. The OP was just about whether people were concerned about reactions to diamond size. Also, I''m a big believer of quality AND quantity!

 

[CellarDoor]

Date: 7/11/2008 4:19:13 PM
Author: IndyGirl22

Date: 7/11/2008 4:16:07 PM
Author: CellarDoor
A larger diamond does not mean that it is better or more expensive than a smaller diamond. I have a minimalist taste towards jewelry, and I have a very simple one carat solitaire on a platinum band. My stone is ideal cut and nearly perfect in every way. My fiance could have bought a two carat diamond for the same price, but he knows that I prefer quality over quantity.

It''s nice that your ring has great specs, but no one here was implying that size is everything. The OP was just about whether people were concerned about reactions to diamond size. Also, I''m a big believer of quality AND quantity!

Well, she was implying that her friend might be jealous of her ring just because it is bigger than hers, which to me indicates that she assumes (or assumes that her friend thinks) that carat size is the most important thing in factoring the value of a diamond. Why else would she make the statement that she is worried that her friend will harbor feelings of animosity towards her because of her ring''s size?

 

[MoonWater]

Date: 7/11/2008 4:27:03 PM
Author: CellarDoor

Date: 7/11/2008 4:19:13 PM
Author: IndyGirl22

Date: 7/11/2008 4:16:07 PM
Author: CellarDoor
A larger diamond does not mean that it is better or more expensive than a smaller diamond. I have a minimalist taste towards jewelry, and I have a very simple one carat solitaire on a platinum band. My stone is ideal cut and nearly perfect in every way. My fiance could have bought a two carat diamond for the same price, but he knows that I prefer quality over quantity.

It's nice that your ring has great specs, but no one here was implying that size is everything. The OP was just about whether people were concerned about reactions to diamond size. Also, I'm a big believer of quality AND quantity!

Well, she was implying that her friend might be jealous of her ring just because it is bigger than hers, which to me indicates that she assumes (or assumes that her friend thinks) that carat size is the most important thing in factoring the value of a diamond. Why else would she make the statement that she is worried that her friend will harbor feelings of animosity towards her because of her ring's size?

I think you should re-read the original post. It's not an issue for her, it made her curious if it was for anyone else. And there are PLENTY of women (and men) that believe size is the most important. Most still don't seem to understand cut quality, so it's not a stretch to say that if there is any jealousy among people, it would most likely be due to size (especially since it is the most apparent).

 

[meresal]

Date: 7/11/2008 4:27:03 PM
Author: CellarDoor

Date: 7/11/2008 4:19:13 PM
Author: IndyGirl22

Date: 7/11/2008 4:16:07 PM
Author: CellarDoor
A larger diamond does not mean that it is better or more expensive than a smaller diamond. I have a minimalist taste towards jewelry, and I have a very simple one carat solitaire on a platinum band. My stone is ideal cut and nearly perfect in every way. My fiance could have bought a two carat diamond for the same price, but he knows that I prefer quality over quantity.

It's nice that your ring has great specs, but no one here was implying that size is everything. The OP was just about whether people were concerned about reactions to diamond size. Also, I'm a big believer of quality AND quantity!

Well, she was implying that her friend might be jealous of her ring just because it is bigger than hers, which to me indicates that she assumes (or assumes that her friend thinks) that carat size is the most important thing in factoring the value of a diamond. Why else would she make the statement that she is worried that her friend will harbor feelings of animosity towards her because of her ring's size?

You obviously didn't read all the posts. I never said my best friend would be jealous, and in the 5th response on the thread, I reitterated the fact that this thread, in no way, has anything to do with any person imparticular, including myself and my friend. I could care less about ring/diamond size. Outside of PS world, the only thing that usually matters to a majority of people is size.

I'm not telling you where to post, but please read all the replies before you make an assumption yourself that has nothing to do with the OP.

Congratulations on your 1 ct, ideal cut, perfect in every way diamond. I'm sure it's absolutely gorgeous!!

 

[meresal]

the rube: I''m sorry to hear about the friendship you lost. This is exactly the kind of thing I was originally thinking about when I posed the question. What a horrible situation.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 7/11/2008 4:56:07 PM
Author: MoonWater

I think you should re-read the original post. It''s not an issue for her, it made her curious if it was for anyone else. And there are PLENTY of women (and men) that believe size is the most important. Most still don''t seem to understand cut quality, so it''s not a stretch to say that if there is any jealousy among people, it would most likely be due to size (especially since it is the most apparent).

been telling my wife for years now....

SIZE means nothing if it doesn''t perform,of course i''m talking about diamond.

 

[diamondfan]

I have faced it before, but I really do not have an answer or a way to deal with how other people''s minds work so I let it go. I do not like snarky remarks, but why get into it with someone who wants to be nasty? I think people who do that have their inner issues to contend with. Long after a larger ring or nicer ring walks away, they are still themselves. So I just shrug it off. If you do things to provoke, than you get what you deserve. Otherwise, live your life, opt for being gracious and give the benefit of the doubt unless shown a reason why not to do so.

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

I am not engaged yet, but if I get a big stone, then I don''t think any of my friends would think it has anything to do with theirs. They all love their rings. And if my ring is smaller, I won''t harbor any ill feelings toward my friends, even if am envious of their diamonds!

 

[iluvcarats]

Nasty comments really say more about the speaker than anything.
I always tell my kids "It''s great to have an opinion, but you don''t always have to share it."
That''s what I think.

 

[ilovethiswebsite]

This whole post makes me angry... This comment isn't towards the OP or anyone who has posted in particular... But I have been just thinking of how this statement does hold true and women are often competitive and easily envious when they see a bigger or nicer diamond on another woman.

I think it's sad that in this day an age *some* women view an ering as a status symbol... some women just don't feel successful until they have gotten their ering - and now some women view bigger diamonds as being more successful and even higher up on the totem pole of social status... so if your friend has a bigger diamond they are somehow better than you and their ring is something to be envious of? Maybe we should ask ourselves why that is? What exactly do we value?

What a world we live in... I love how marketing has made some of us materialistic and shallow.

 

[purrfectpear]

I can honestly say I''ve never felt jealousy over anyone''s ring. I don''t even think envious is the word for what I feel?

Coveting? Yeah, I''m guilty of a little coveting of some PSr''s rings. I would

to have a beautiful diamond in the 4 carat range. Not from a boyfriend or FI, I just want to be able to afford one of my own

Well at least I''m not coveting my neighbor''s oxen, nor his manservant.....

 

[Anna0499]

Date: 7/12/2008 12:28:23 AM
Author: purrfectpear
I can honestly say I''ve never felt jealousy over anyone''s ring. I don''t even think envious is the word for what I feel?

Coveting? Yeah, I''m guilty of a little coveting of some PSr''s rings. I would

to have a beautiful diamond in the 4 carat range. Not from a boyfriend or FI, I just want to be able to afford one of my own

Well at least I''m not coveting my neighbor''s oxen, nor his manservant.....

I agree - I often see gorgeous rings & say to myself, "I wish I had that ring!" but I certainly don''t wish for the other person to *not* have the ring or feel inadequate in any way (even though I have no ring yet!). I don''t want their actual ring or to be proposed to with their ring, but I wouldn''t mind adding a similar ring to my collection.

LMAO @ dancing fire - you are a oneliner genius!

 

[Deelight]

Date: 7/11/2008 3:12:14 PM
Author: MoonWater

Date: 7/11/2008 2:28:11 PM

Author: Deelight

meresal I could have written aspects of your post myself, as I have mentioned before in my social circle larger diamonds are not the norm, actually in Australia diamonds over 1/2 carat are not really seen that often.


A few of my friends are engaged but I think maybe 1 or 2 might say something snarky when they see it like OMG can you believe how much money they spent or I see why it took so long for you guys to get engaged (we have been going out 10 years)

or something eagerly as vile. If they did say something I don''t think they will mean to be horrible, maybe a little tactless but I have heard them beeeetch about one of the girls SIL and about how she likes and is getting a larger diamond and certain things have been said previously so who knows. Thing is both have very dainty fingers and really suit their rings I really like them on them. I have actually second guessed getting mine and going smaller but then I wouldn''t be happy. I am also a little worried that his/my family will think we are being overly frivolous and wasting to much money for a little sparklie.



I guess I will just deal with it if it comes, I hope it doesn''t though.



KesVayReas Your friend is completely rude good for you for being the better person

I was worried about this too! In fact, when FI''s mom looked at the ring for the first time, I could tell she thought it was super expensive (and perhaps it is in her mind, she''s been married 40 years, I''m sure she and her husband would never spend what we did on this ring lol). But I wanted to really love what I was wearing for the rest of my life. Also, we aren''t rushing into children, we''re young professionals, and we aren''t consumers. I don''t have nearly enough clothing, bags, and shoes for a woman my age!

Date: 7/11/2008 3:22:19 PM
Author: meresal
Deelight & Moonwater:


Crazy, but C is worried about the same thing. My parents have already seen the setting I''m getting and have an idea about the diamond, but they say whatever makes you happy. As for his parents, he''s worried that they are going to think he spent too much on it, however, I only think possibly that his dad will say something. His mom has made jokes to me about, ''Don''t accept anything under 2 ct'', and I know she knows how much that costs... so I don''t think it will be a problem with her. Fingers crossed!!


Are you girls early/mid 20''s?

Moonwater I am so glad that I am not the only one that feels this way, I seriously thought there was something wrong with me. I have to agree with you as well we are both not HUGE spenders I mean if I like something I might buy it but rarely do we splurge, we are both very stable in our finances we already have a house that is less then 1/2 the average mortgage and we don''t have any excess expenditures, no CC''s, children, car debt etc. We live below our means this was a nice little splurge and there won''t be any upgrades however if our situation was different and we were not as set as we are currently I would rock something much smaller and be saving for bigger more important purchases.

meresal I don''t think you will have an issue with his mum, I would say she is definitely on board the bling bling train

I am 28 so that would make me in my late 20''s

eeeek can I just pretend that I am in my mid-early 20''s

 

[honey22]

SO always tells me that I am not happy unless I am stressing about something. So, now I have seemed to move on to stressing about people's reaction to my ering when I get it. It's 0.8ct and I guess in Australia that's on the larger size of normal and I have thinish hands so it looks like a nice size. SO tells me that it looks huge to him and I wonder will others think it's too flashy, silly looking. Not that I really care about what they think, I just want... I don't even know how to finish this sentence. I guess I wouldn't want it to look stoopid, but I really think that jealousy can make some people vindictive and they feel the need to put other people down etc.

I also worry a little about what our families think about the money spent. My Mum and sister probably won't be too shocked, I had thrown around the $5k price range around before when joking about how much money the boy needed to save up, so I guess $2k over that mark won't seem really huge to them. SO's family on the other hand, are not as financial I guess you could say, and I know that some members of his family would be HORRIFIED to hear we spent that much. I think $2k would be a massive amount to them, and I almost feel sick even thinking what they would say about $7k. I feel a bit nervous about being asked, cause I don't mind telling them, I just would feel bad if they actually looked visibly shocked, that would make me feel uncomfortable I guess. SO and I are 100% comfortable with what we spent, he tells me that I am worth every single cent of the money he spent, but sometimes I still get massive guilts when I think of the huge amount we spent on a ring. Oh well, I am worth it!!

We sometimes joke to each other that we spent $500 for every year together, plus $1000 (taxes and import charges I attribute that to), there! All justified away

 

[LostSapphire]

I think that sometimes people don''t mean to be rude, but the filter that is supposed to be in between their brain and their mouth gets clogged up.

Even here on PS, we are sometimes too quick to hit *send* without realizing that comments can come across as rude without that being our intention.

 

[Babyblue033]

I have a 1ct ring and when I see ladies with 2-3ct stones I AM envious. Hey, I''m just being honest

But I don''t feel hostile about it or anything negative like that, I''m sincerely envious because I would''ve of course loved to get a bigger stone myself. But it wasn''t for us in our current situation and I''m happy that my FI and I made a practical, yet very good, choice that''s right for us.

This reminds me though. My FI has a friend who got engaged not too long ago and he''s been extra curious about what my FI was planning on getting me. When the decision was finalized and FI told him he got me a 1ct stone, he was surprised and said he expected something like 2-3ct from FI. What tickled me more though was that he seemed RELIEVED, like he expected FI to out do him

Some people are weird...

 

[trillionaire]

Um, unless your stone blinds me, I wouldn''t notice. I never remember to look at rings, and am frequently surprised when people start talking about their husbands and fiances! I look down and am shocked to see their ring! Where did that come from? I''m so oblivious.

I know, I am a strange PSer...

I think of my ''future'' ring as all about me, and my relationship. It is not traditional, it is confident, but not overstated. I think people will react more to my shape being a Trillion than to the size (1ct). Unless you are a close friend, I refuse to answer size questions, I find them very rude, even when they are not directed towards me! Only time will tell.

 

[HollyS]

Date: 7/11/2008 11:27:56 PM
Author: ilovethiswebsite

This whole post makes me angry... This comment isn''t towards the OP or anyone who has posted in particular... But I have been just thinking of how this statement does hold true and women are often competitive and easily envious when they see a bigger or nicer diamond on another woman.

I think it''s sad that in this day an age *some* women view an ering as a status symbol... some women just don''t feel successful until they have gotten their ering - and now some women view bigger diamonds as being more successful and even higher up on the totem pole of social status... so if your friend has a bigger diamond they are somehow better than you and their ring is something to be envious of? Maybe we should ask ourselves why that is? What exactly do we value?

What a world we live in... I love how marketing has made some of us materialistic and shallow.

Amen.

 

[HollyS]

Date: 7/12/2008 11:10:09 AM
Author: trillionaire
Um, unless your stone blinds me, I wouldn''t notice. I never remember to look at rings, and am frequently surprised when people start talking about their husbands and fiances! I look down and am shocked to see their ring! Where did that come from? I''m so oblivious.

I know, I am a strange PSer...

I think of my ''future'' ring as all about me, and my relationship. It is not traditional, it is confident, but not overstated. I think people will react more to my shape being a Trillion than to the size (1ct). Unless you are a close friend, I refuse to answer size questions, I find them very rude, even when they are not directed towards me! Only time will tell.

The more you post, the more I''m sure I like you.

 

[Anna0499]

Date: 7/11/2008 11:27:56 PM
Author: ilovethiswebsite

This whole post makes me angry... This comment isn''t towards the OP or anyone who has posted in particular... But I have been just thinking of how this statement does hold true and women are often competitive and easily envious when they see a bigger or nicer diamond on another woman.

I think it''s sad that in this day an age *some* women view an ering as a status symbol... some women just don''t feel successful until they have gotten their ering - and now some women view bigger diamonds as being more successful and even higher up on the totem pole of social status... so if your friend has a bigger diamond they are somehow better than you and their ring is something to be envious of? Maybe we should ask ourselves why that is? What exactly do we value?

What a world we live in... I love how marketing has made some of us materialistic and shallow.

I agree and I think your sentiments apply to almost every big purchase nowadays - cars, houses, etc. I think it''s great if people can afford and buy the best of everything as long as they are doing it for themselves and not to try to show anyone else that they have "made it." In the latter case, no purchase will ever be enough to satisfy the void of self-acceptance in their lives. Women, by nature I suppose, are somewhat more inclined to be envious of each other - I don''t know why that is...but I think the e-ring is also something men are competitive about as well because most of the time they are the ones buying it and some people think that the size/cost of the ring somehow says something about his character.

 

[diamondfan]

If you only buy to compete and one up people, it will never be enough in the long run. Even if you have more money and can do it, the sense of satisfaction you derive will be hollow and you will continue to be endlessly running of the hamster wheel of competition. It is not a satisfying way to live. I always think that no matter what I can buy or spend, there are people who can do more and people who can do less. Therefore, it should be about me and what makes me happy, and what I can afford, and not be about competing or surpassing someone else. It is sad, but I think that is how advertising really gets through to us, Have more, Have bigger, Spend more, Get it first...I mean, Americans seems to really fall for it. (I do not know about how other countries deal with advertising on a real level). I think it is always best to want to strive for things, so we are motivated to move and not be stagnant, but we should also be able to be happy in the now, with what we have currently.

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 7/12/2008 11:56:40 AM
Author: HollyS


The more you post, the more I''m sure I like you.

Aw, thanks Holly!

I''ve been around for a few months, but don''t really feel like part of the PS ''in-crowd''. I often wonder if anyone reads anything that I post, lol! (not that it would stop me, hehe)

PS is fun, and much better than my other vices... like shopping!

 

[Linda W]

Date: 7/11/2008 9:50:47 PM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 7/11/2008 4:56:07 PM

Author: MoonWater



I think you should re-read the original post. It''s not an issue for her, it made her curious if it was for anyone else. And there are PLENTY of women (and men) that believe size is the most important. Most still don''t seem to understand cut quality, so it''s not a stretch to say that if there is any jealousy among people, it would most likely be due to size (especially since it is the most apparent).

been telling my wife for years now....



SIZE means nothing if it doesn''t perform,of course i''m talking about diamond.

LOL, Dancing Fire is at it again!!

My girlfriends don''t care about jewelry at all, that is why I am on PS!!!!!

Linda

 

[littlelysser]

My ering is larger than those owned by most of my friends, and frankly neither they nor I could not care any less.

An ering is simply not something that is important to some people. I have a close friend that is literally worth millions and millions of dollars (old family money) and her ring is very modest. I've never asked about the actual size, but I'd estimate it to be a bit more than a carat. It is lovely. I have another friend who has a similar size ring - and she and her husband both drive BMWs and travel like crazy. A large ering wasn't a priority for them.

So yeah. Although a large ring seems to be important to you and your boyfriend, as he has been paying it off for quite a while as opposed to buying something he could afford immediately, it does not appear to be important to your friend. Why would she feel jealous?

ETA - I can't imagine any of my friends or family could possibly construe the fact that I got a larger ring as one upping them. None of them are so self centered as to think that the symbol of my intent to marry my DH was made to "one up them." Just saying.

 

[meresal]

Little: This is just for my piece of mind. Again, this post has nothing to do with myself. My BF's choice to pay it off over time, never meant that he couldn't afford it last October, it just meant he's like me, and hates making huge purchases all at once, and putting that big of a dent his savings. It has been nice being able to make large payments over a longer period of time. Honestly, we weren't ready to be engaged back then anyway. Size, is not a necessity, it's the diamond that he liked, so be it.


The reason I asked if you girls were in your early mid 20's, because I see around here that lots of brides are paying for their own wedding, and I wanted to see if the worry about reaction from parents, had anything to do with the fact that they may still be paying/funding your wedding? I am 24.5 and C is 26. In FF and I's situation, this is the case.


I have to agree, I probably could have opened this thread up to almost ANY puchase that you make. I never realized how big this scope could be...

I believe alot of what we want/desire has to do with advertising. But times change and traditions change, and unfortunately, for some that comes with an angle of resentment/jelousy for a few... (and I'm not talking about the admiration jelousy that is followed by a dropping jaw

)

 

[risingsun]

I think it's easy to lose perspective on PS. When we start saying that a 1 ct ring is modest, that concerns me. I am linking to Gwendolyn's survey on avergage size of engagement rings on PS. Statistics off this board are smaller.
https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/results-have-been-calculated-and-the-average-ps-e-ring-size-is.85960/

 

[Deelight]

Date: 7/13/2008 12:04:49 PM
Author: meresal
Little: This is just for my piece of mind. Again, this post has nothing to do with myself. My BF's choice to pay it off over time, never meant that he couldn't afford it last October, it just meant he's like me, and hates making huge purchases all at once, and putting that big of a dent his savings. It has been nice being able to make large payments over a longer period of time. Honestly, we weren't ready to be engaged back then anyway. Size, is not a necessity, it's the diamond that he liked, so be it.



The reason I asked if you girls were in your early mid 20's, because I see around here that lots of brides are paying for their own wedding, and I wanted to see if the worry about reaction from parents, had anything to do with the fact that they may still be paying/funding your wedding? I am 24.5 and C is 26. In FF and I's situation, this is the case.



I have to agree, I probably could have opened this thread up to almost ANY puchase that you make. I never realized how big this scope could be...


I believe alot of what we want/desire has to do with advertising. But times change and traditions change, and unfortunately, for some that comes with an angle of resentment/jelousy for a few... (and I'm not talking about the admiration jelousy that is followed by a dropping jaw

)

meresalI would say that almost 110% certain we will pay for all of our own wedding which is fine and I don't expect anyone else to pay. Actually no one in either of our families knows we plan on getting engaged so it will be a pleasant surprise . In terms of what will happen FF said he thinks his parents will chip in some, my dad wouldn't be able to afford to but my sister did say a while ago she would pay for my dress if I got married because thats something she wanted to do for me. I am still working on the premise that we will pay for everything, so our budget might be smaller then some of our friends whose parents paid for a huge chunk of their days.


littlelysser I agree not all people are going to give a rats toot about it but there will be some that for whatever reason might have comments, attitudes towards such a purchase whether that be jealousy or people forgetting to apply the "filter" it can be a concern.

 

[legatogirl]

OK, this has nothing to do with the OP but I was skimming and saw Trillionaire''s comment about being new etc..just wanted to say that people do read your posts...yesterday I was in Sam''s Club inquiring about a wedding band they sell and saw a trillion-cut in their display case and I immediately thought...I know someone who would appreciate that!!