Another passing of family. . .

[swingirl]

I am so sorry for your loss. That is such hard news to hear around the holidays.

 

[honey22]

I am so sorry to hear this MC. What tragic news, especially when there are children involved.

Hope you can get some kind of closure. Sending you hugs.

 

[oddoneout]

I''m so sorry for your loss.

 

[AmberGretchen]

So sorry for yours and your family''s loss MC - suicide is a devastating way to lose someone. Thoughts and prayers to you and yours at this difficult time.

 

[steph72276]

MC, so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and your family....

 

[y2kitty]

Sorry to hear this MC.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Thanks again, everyone. I''ve begun feeling a lot worse as time has progressed. . .as if I''m from some alternate reality and cannot connect on the same wavelength with everyone around me. My son had a dr. appointment yesterday and watching everyone going about their lives was just so crazy like looking through a glass window rather than having people standing right next to me. Watching movies has helped distract me.

 

[Siamese Kitty]

MC,

What a terrible situation. I am so very sorry.

I hope you start to feel better. I know what you mean about the "feeling like you''re in an alternate reality"-it''s not a fun place to be. Sorry if I missed this, but have you been seeing anyone while you are going through this? I send lots of prayers your way-please hang in there as best as you can.

*hugs*
SK

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 12/30/2009 4:47:05 PM
Author: Siamese Kitty
MC,

What a terrible situation. I am so very sorry.

I hope you start to feel better. I know what you mean about the 'feeling like you're in an alternate reality'-it's not a fun place to be. Sorry if I missed this, but have you been seeing anyone while you are going through this? I send lots of prayers your way-please hang in there as best as you can.

*hugs*
SK

Hi,
Nope, aside from the dr. visit and a trip to the grocery store, I've been at home with my kids. Haven't called friends b/c it's too much of a situation to dump on anyone. A friend is kind of going to feel terrible and not know how to discuss this with me, you know? I'm glad I have PS for support. (I have talked to family for a brief time, that is it) When we went to get food, I ran through the store hoping I wouldn't run into anyone I know.

 

[LaurenThePartier]

I''m so very sad to hear this incredibly devestating news . . . my condolences to you and your family, MC.

 

[Fly Girl]

So sorry to hear of your tragic loss. Condolences to you and your family.

 

[Dandi]

Oh MC, love I''m so sorry, what a terrible tragedy. Thinking of you and your family at such a sad sad time.

 

[Kaleigh]

Suicide is such a hard thing to deal with. I have dealt with it twice. Sending you big hugs, we are here for you if you need us.

 

[joflier]

Date: 12/30/2009 5:52:11 PM
Author: MC
Hi,
Nope, aside from the dr. visit and a trip to the grocery store, I''ve been at home with my kids. Haven''t called friends b/c it''s too much of a situation to dump on anyone. A friend is kind of going to feel terrible and not know how to discuss this with me, you know? I''m glad I have PS for support. (I have talked to family for a brief time, that is it) When we went to get food, I ran through the store hoping I wouldn''t run into anyone I know.

Dump on us, friend!!! We''re all here for you. More big giant hugs to you! The only experiences that I''ve had with suicide have been failed attempts. That''s hard enough to deal with. You spend nights wondering if that person is ever going to come home again. If your ever going to see them. Every time the phone rang, we were fearful to answer, just because we were afraid of what news could be on the other end. I cannot imagine the sorrow if the attempts had actually worked. It sounds like your still in shock. I don''t really know what to say, except that I hope your pain heals as quickly as it can. I know it will be a process, but we all are thinking about you!

 

[platinumrock]

Oh gosh, I can''t imagine what you must be going through right now!

Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

HUGS

 

[Irishgrrrl]

MC, please know that you can come here and talk to us ANY TIME!!! We''re absolutely here for you, whenever you need us. I''m so, so sorry. ((((HUGS))))

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 12/30/2009 11:05:14 PM
Author: Irishgrrrl
MC, please know that you can come here and talk to us ANY TIME!!! We''re absolutely here for you, whenever you need us. I''m so, so sorry. ((((HUGS))))

ditto, huge hugs MC

 

[snowflakeluvr]

I am so very sorry, MC. My father committed suicide when I was 18,and away at college. My mother, brother, sister and I clung to each other-he had been depressed and ill for awhile, he had mentioned it, but you never really believe it would/could happen. It took me years to heal. He was my father and now, I realize, he must have been in some terrible place, filled with pain and distortion, to do such a thing. We all felt so abandoned.
Recently, we moved to another state(about a year ago). My 14yr old son has had a hard time transitioning to larger school, being without his older brother(who is away in college) teen-age dom stuff, etc. He has been to a therapist for awhile and takes an anti-depressant. We are seeing a seasonal correlation and the last few weeks have been hell-ish. He has never mentioned the S word but I watch him like a hawk. It has brought back horribly uncomfortable memories and feelings. I can''t say enough that I do understand-it is a very specific tragedy, unlike an accident or a terminal illness. It seems so worthless and it leaves so many behind wondering how we could have made a difference. I have come to realize that my father was ill, very ill, and at that moment, he felt/believed that taking his own life was the ONLY answer to him at that desperate moment. Please continue to share your grief and if you pray, pray now, for healing and for some restoration for your family, who is left to pick up the pieces.
This is one of those exceptional circumstances that has no good come of it and I am sorry you are in the midst of it all. Your family will be in my prayers.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Sending hugs and prayers MC..my family has been touched by suicide as well, it''s a very difficult thing to deal with and understand. Please stay strong..and we are here for you as always.

 

[marcy]

I am so sorry. My thoughts are with you and your family.

 

[platinumrock]

Date: 12/31/2009 12:02:32 AM
Author: snowflakeluvr
I am so very sorry, MC. My father committed suicide when I was 18,and away at college. My mother, brother, sister and I clung to each other-he had been depressed and ill for awhile, he had mentioned it, but you never really believe it would/could happen. It took me years to heal. He was my father and now, I realize, he must have been in some terrible place, filled with pain and distortion, to do such a thing. We all felt so abandoned.
Recently, we moved to another state(about a year ago). My 14yr old son has had a hard time transitioning to larger school, being without his older brother(who is away in college) teen-age dom stuff, etc. He has been to a therapist for awhile and takes an anti-depressant. We are seeing a seasonal correlation and the last few weeks have been hell-ish. He has never mentioned the S word but I watch him like a hawk. It has brought back horribly uncomfortable memories and feelings. I can''t say enough that I do understand-it is a very specific tragedy, unlike an accident or a terminal illness. It seems so worthless and it leaves so many behind wondering how we could have made a difference. I have come to realize that my father was ill, very ill, and at that moment, he felt/believed that taking his own life was the ONLY answer to him at that desperate moment. Please continue to share your grief and if you pray, pray now, for healing and for some restoration for your family, who is left to pick up the pieces.
This is one of those exceptional circumstances that has no good come of it and I am sorry you are in the midst of it all. Your family will be in my prayers.

Snowflake, I''m so sorry about your father. I hope he''s in a better place now.

Please do continue to keep an eye on your son, and I hope he''s okay.

 

[MissMina]

I am so sorry to hear this.
My cousin took his life just before
Thanksgiving when all the family was set to gather and he was to meet his new grandson and in a manner that left no question as to his intention.
It was obvious in hindsight that he had been planning
this but no one saw it coming and there was no note.
We have vacillated between grief and anger and are finally accepting that he did what he felt he had to do.

 

[NYCsparkle]

i''m very sorry for your loss....stay strong for your children as well as your sil''s child.

 

[canuk-gal]

MC:

Strength to you and yours during this exceedingly difficult time.

kind regards--Sharon

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 12/31/2009 12:02:32 AM
Author: snowflakeluvr
I am so very sorry, MC. My father committed suicide when I was 18,and away at college. My mother, brother, sister and I clung to each other-he had been depressed and ill for awhile, he had mentioned it, but you never really believe it would/could happen. It took me years to heal. He was my father and now, I realize, he must have been in some terrible place, filled with pain and distortion, to do such a thing. We all felt so abandoned.
Recently, we moved to another state(about a year ago). My 14yr old son has had a hard time transitioning to larger school, being without his older brother(who is away in college) teen-age dom stuff, etc. He has been to a therapist for awhile and takes an anti-depressant. We are seeing a seasonal correlation and the last few weeks have been hell-ish. He has never mentioned the S word but I watch him like a hawk. It has brought back horribly uncomfortable memories and feelings. I can''t say enough that I do understand-it is a very specific tragedy, unlike an accident or a terminal illness. It seems so worthless and it leaves so many behind wondering how we could have made a difference. I have come to realize that my father was ill, very ill, and at that moment, he felt/believed that taking his own life was the ONLY answer to him at that desperate moment. Please continue to share your grief and if you pray, pray now, for healing and for some restoration for your family, who is left to pick up the pieces.
This is one of those exceptional circumstances that has no good come of it and I am sorry you are in the midst of it all. Your family will be in my prayers.

Snowflakeluvr - I''m so sorry about your dad

Such a young age to loose a parent. I was 16 when my dad died and it was difficult and still is. . .it''s crazy that he was 36 when he died and as I am growing older, I remember him as still being around my age!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 12/31/2009 7:05:50 AM
Author: MissMina
I am so sorry to hear this.
My cousin took his life just before
Thanksgiving when all the family was set to gather and he was to meet his new grandson and in a manner that left no question as to his intention.
It was obvious in hindsight that he had been planning
this but no one saw it coming and there was no note.
We have vacillated between grief and anger and are finally accepting that he did what he felt he had to do.

So sorry to hear this about your cousin. What happened with him sounds nearly identical. My SIL made plans to visit with us tomorrow. Why were plans made in advance like that when she didn''t intend to be here? She had previously attempted, but always would call us to be taken to the hospital right after. She too left no question to her attempt this time around. The medical examiner has the note she left. We''re waiting, waiting, waiting. . .

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 12/30/2009 9:46:02 PM
Author: Kaleigh
Suicide is such a hard thing to deal with. I have dealt with it twice. Sending you big hugs, we are here for you if you need us.

Kaleigh - You''ve dealth with this twice? I''m so sorry. It must have been nearly unbearable to twice experience that!

Thanks again everyone for writing your condolences and also allowing me to discuss this. Today, I feel better. Weird. My husband came home but left to get some work done (having him home must have helped). Not sure what we''re going to do this evening (we always stay home on NY''s due to worry over drunk drivers). I had planned that we''d drink champagne at midnight. Can''t say if we still will. Maybe ringing in the new year will help us in hopes that 2010 will be more positive. 2009 has gone by so fast! Monday till today has felt more like 2 weeks.

 

[House Cat]

MC,

I''m so sorry for your loss. Please take gentle care of you right now. Ask yourself what you need often then give it to yourself. News like this leaves the survivors very vulnerable. There are too many questions left unanswered, too many "what if''s."

I do think your friends would want to be there for you...but if it is too much for you, that is understandable. When you are ready, lean on every support that is available.

Once again, I''m so sorry. I hope that today is finding you just a bit better. Hugs to you.

 

[dragonfly411]

MC - I just wanted you to know I am thinking of you today. I hope you find strength, and know warm thoughts are headed your way.

 

[Siamese Kitty]

Date: 12/30/2009 5:52:11 PM
Author: MC

Date: 12/30/2009 4:47:05 PM
Author: Siamese Kitty
MC,

What a terrible situation. I am so very sorry.

I hope you start to feel better. I know what you mean about the ''feeling like you''re in an alternate reality''-it''s not a fun place to be. Sorry if I missed this, but have you been seeing anyone while you are going through this? I send lots of prayers your way-please hang in there as best as you can.

*hugs*
SK

Hi,
Nope, aside from the dr. visit and a trip to the grocery store, I''ve been at home with my kids. Haven''t called friends b/c it''s too much of a situation to dump on anyone. A friend is kind of going to feel terrible and not know how to discuss this with me, you know? I''m glad I have PS for support. (I have talked to family for a brief time, that is it) When we went to get food, I ran through the store hoping I wouldn''t run into anyone I know.

Well, sometimes time out of the public circuit and home with those you love is a good thing, especially when you''re dealing with something traumatic. I tend to think, "No one knows how bad I really feel", which enhances the feelings of isolation.

I''m happy to hear you say you''re feeling a little better, but as the others have said, dump on your PS friends! I know I don''t post very often, but you seem like such a nice person as I''ve lurked over the years and I''m sure we all want to see you through this. And as for "real-life" friends, they will need you one day and would you ever think they were a burden? Probably not.

And knowing what to say is always less important than just being there. Don''t be afraid to reach out to others.

I know you mentioned not being a super religious person, and I have to say I''m probably not the most either, but it may be comforting to talk to a pastor about the religious ramifications of this. This was a topic in church several weeks ago, and what was said eased my concerns about what happens after, etc. I am in no way trying to compare and this is NOT on the same scale as what you''re going through, but I found out several years after college that a casual friend took his life. It really bothered me, even though we weren''t close, so I can only imagine what you and some of the others are going through/have gone through. I had so many questions about what would happen to him in this regard.

I hope you have a relaxing NY''s with your family, whatever you choose to do. I''ll keep you and your family in my prayers. Here''s to a new year filled with hope and happiness!

PS Snowflake, Kaleigh, MissMina, Sarah, and other ladies who have gone through this-I''m so sorry.