A Thread for Those Caring for Aging Parents etc.
- Thread starter VRBeauty
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Wonderful update and thanks for letting us know! Sending continued good thoughts and healing vibes your aunt's way.
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@KaeKae That is great news about your aunt being released to return to the nursing home. She will soon be back where her surroundings and routines are safe and familiar-and you and your brother will get a bit of a break.
eta: And I hope the dog lets you sleep through the night, too.
eta: And I hope the dog lets you sleep through the night, too.
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Thank you @KaeKae junebug and @tyty333 and all others who paused in their busy days to send kind thoughts my way.
I don't have much to say except thank you for listening and it was so nice to be able to say some things here--no one knows me here and no one knows my parents, so I don't have to smile when, for example, people tell me what a great cook my mother is when she hasn't been for years. I am not close with either of my folks, and I don't know them well, but my dad was wasting away in front of our eyes, and my mom let it happen. He has dementia (unspecified, another thing that drives me nuts is she sees no need to look into his diagnoses, but finds her own absorbing) and whenever we visited, I could see it might take him two or three hours to simply make his own breakfast, just put milk and dry cereal in a bowl and eat it. He had a good appetite, so would eat what we put in front of him, (both my husband and I cook and grill) but it took him soooooo lonnnnnnng to eat 3 or 4 ounces of meat, a cup of mashed p, a half cup of steamed broccoli/similar. He was never a heavy man, but had maintained a weight of 156 pounds for many years, and now he was under 130 pounds. His blood pressure would drop to 59 over I don't remember, which my mom would know because she would take his blood pressure, and then talk about how he fell in her arms and she would have to call 911. I wanted her to talk to a doctor about it, it seemed like dangerously low blood pressure to me, and of course, "follow up on low blood pressure with physician on record" was printed on every page of every set of discharge papers she was handed when leaving the emergency room with him, but she would use smile at me and say he was much improved when I asked.
My first priority when we moved in was to increase his caloric intake somehow. I chose breakfast, because he was eating it so late he never got lunch, so if I got breakfast in him early enough, I could start feeding him lunch, too. And I made oatmeal because he grew up with it, so it would be familiar, and it was cheap, so I could make as much as he wanted to eat, it was super easy to make, and it would stay hot if I warmed the bowl. Also, I put it on a tray and brought it upstairs to him. I knew I had to do something so my mom wouldn't be jealous, so I made her coffee, and pre heated the mug, and toasted an English muffin for her. And distracted her with that, while coaxing my dad to get up and start moving.
When I first moved in, I didn't have a clear idea of what to do and how to convince my parents it needed to be done. My priorities were washing out the dirty, overcrowded cabinets and finding out exactly what was in the jam-packed fridges, one in the kitchen and one in the garage. But my mother's priority was to have us all eating dinner together at night without her having to actually plan it, purchase it, prepare it, serve it, or clean it up, LOL.
This is just a bit of a ramble, I'm afraid. I had such clear ideas about what had to be done, and YET!! it took so long to get the simplest routines in place. I did all the right things, but the biggest problem has been not knowing how to work together as a team with my husband, or my mother. I think some trust and respect is essential to achieving anything as a team, and I still am no good at building those relationships. But, is my dad eating more? Yes he is! Does he weigh more? Yes he does! So that part is a success, just the hard boring work of carrying trays up and down, getting dishes and cutlery and pans washed and back on shelves, getting potatoes peeled and boiled and gravy made and meat defrosted in time
, and smiling! That part is a success.
Hugs to all, thanks for listening!
I don't have much to say except thank you for listening and it was so nice to be able to say some things here--no one knows me here and no one knows my parents, so I don't have to smile when, for example, people tell me what a great cook my mother is when she hasn't been for years. I am not close with either of my folks, and I don't know them well, but my dad was wasting away in front of our eyes, and my mom let it happen. He has dementia (unspecified, another thing that drives me nuts is she sees no need to look into his diagnoses, but finds her own absorbing) and whenever we visited, I could see it might take him two or three hours to simply make his own breakfast, just put milk and dry cereal in a bowl and eat it. He had a good appetite, so would eat what we put in front of him, (both my husband and I cook and grill) but it took him soooooo lonnnnnnng to eat 3 or 4 ounces of meat, a cup of mashed p, a half cup of steamed broccoli/similar. He was never a heavy man, but had maintained a weight of 156 pounds for many years, and now he was under 130 pounds. His blood pressure would drop to 59 over I don't remember, which my mom would know because she would take his blood pressure, and then talk about how he fell in her arms and she would have to call 911. I wanted her to talk to a doctor about it, it seemed like dangerously low blood pressure to me, and of course, "follow up on low blood pressure with physician on record" was printed on every page of every set of discharge papers she was handed when leaving the emergency room with him, but she would use smile at me and say he was much improved when I asked.
My first priority when we moved in was to increase his caloric intake somehow. I chose breakfast, because he was eating it so late he never got lunch, so if I got breakfast in him early enough, I could start feeding him lunch, too. And I made oatmeal because he grew up with it, so it would be familiar, and it was cheap, so I could make as much as he wanted to eat, it was super easy to make, and it would stay hot if I warmed the bowl. Also, I put it on a tray and brought it upstairs to him. I knew I had to do something so my mom wouldn't be jealous, so I made her coffee, and pre heated the mug, and toasted an English muffin for her. And distracted her with that, while coaxing my dad to get up and start moving.
When I first moved in, I didn't have a clear idea of what to do and how to convince my parents it needed to be done. My priorities were washing out the dirty, overcrowded cabinets and finding out exactly what was in the jam-packed fridges, one in the kitchen and one in the garage. But my mother's priority was to have us all eating dinner together at night without her having to actually plan it, purchase it, prepare it, serve it, or clean it up, LOL.
This is just a bit of a ramble, I'm afraid. I had such clear ideas about what had to be done, and YET!! it took so long to get the simplest routines in place. I did all the right things, but the biggest problem has been not knowing how to work together as a team with my husband, or my mother. I think some trust and respect is essential to achieving anything as a team, and I still am no good at building those relationships. But, is my dad eating more? Yes he is! Does he weigh more? Yes he does! So that part is a success, just the hard boring work of carrying trays up and down, getting dishes and cutlery and pans washed and back on shelves, getting potatoes peeled and boiled and gravy made and meat defrosted in time
, and smiling! That part is a success.Hugs to all, thanks for listening!
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Thank you @KaeKae junebug and @tyty333 and all others who paused in their busy days to send kind thoughts my way.
I don't have much to say except thank you for listening and it was so nice to be able to say some things here--no one knows me here and no one knows my parents, so I don't have to smile when, for example, people tell me what a great cook my mother is when she hasn't been for years. I am not close with either of my folks, and I don't know them well, but my dad was wasting away in front of our eyes, and my mom let it happen. He has dementia (unspecified, another thing that drives me nuts is she sees no need to look into his diagnoses, but finds her own absorbing) and whenever we visited, I could see it might take him two or three hours to simply make his own breakfast, just put milk and dry cereal in a bowl and eat it. He had a good appetite, so would eat what we put in front of him, (both my husband and I cook and grill) but it took him soooooo lonnnnnnng to eat 3 or 4 ounces of meat, a cup of mashed p, a half cup of steamed broccoli/similar. He was never a heavy man, but had maintained a weight of 156 pounds for many years, and now he was under 130 pounds. His blood pressure would drop to 59 over I don't remember, which my mom would know because she would take his blood pressure, and then talk about how he fell in her arms and she would have to call 911. I wanted her to talk to a doctor about it, it seemed like dangerously low blood pressure to me, and of course, "follow up on low blood pressure with physician on record" was printed on every page of every set of discharge papers she was handed when leaving the emergency room with him, but she would use smile at me and say he was much improved when I asked.
My first priority when we moved in was to increase his caloric intake somehow. I chose breakfast, because he was eating it so late he never got lunch, so if I got breakfast in him early enough, I could start feeding him lunch, too. And I made oatmeal because he grew up with it, so it would be familiar, and it was cheap, so I could make as much as he wanted to eat, it was super easy to make, and it would stay hot if I warmed the bowl. Also, I put it on a tray and brought it upstairs to him. I knew I had to do something so my mom wouldn't be jealous, so I made her coffee, and pre heated the mug, and toasted an English muffin for her. And distracted her with that, while coaxing my dad to get up and start moving.
When I first moved in, I didn't have a clear idea of what to do and how to convince my parents it needed to be done. My priorities were washing out the dirty, overcrowded cabinets and finding out exactly what was in the jam-packed fridges, one in the kitchen and one in the garage. But my mother's priority was to have us all eating dinner together at night without her having to actually plan it, purchase it, prepare it, serve it, or clean it up, LOL.
This is just a bit of a ramble, I'm afraid. I had such clear ideas about what had to be done, and YET!! it took so long to get the simplest routines in place. I did all the right things, but the biggest problem has been not knowing how to work together as a team with my husband, or my mother. I think some trust and respect is essential to achieving anything as a team, and I still am no good at building those relationships. But, is my dad eating more? Yes he is! Does he weigh more? Yes he does! So that part is a success, just the hard boring work of carrying trays up and down, getting dishes and cutlery and pans washed and back on shelves, getting potatoes peeled and boiled and gravy made and meat defrosted in time
Hugs to all, thanks for listening!
HUGS! Hon, that sounds like a lot. Be sure to take care of you first.
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Thank you @KaeKae junebug and @tyty333 and all others who paused in their busy days to send kind thoughts my way.
I don't have much to say except thank you for listening and it was so nice to be able to say some things here--no one knows me here and no one knows my parents, so I don't have to smile when, for example, people tell me what a great cook my mother is when she hasn't been for years. I am not close with either of my folks, and I don't know them well, but my dad was wasting away in front of our eyes, and my mom let it happen. He has dementia (unspecified, another thing that drives me nuts is she sees no need to look into his diagnoses, but finds her own absorbing) and whenever we visited, I could see it might take him two or three hours to simply make his own breakfast, just put milk and dry cereal in a bowl and eat it. He had a good appetite, so would eat what we put in front of him, (both my husband and I cook and grill) but it took him soooooo lonnnnnnng to eat 3 or 4 ounces of meat, a cup of mashed p, a half cup of steamed broccoli/similar. He was never a heavy man, but had maintained a weight of 156 pounds for many years, and now he was under 130 pounds. His blood pressure would drop to 59 over I don't remember, which my mom would know because she would take his blood pressure, and then talk about how he fell in her arms and she would have to call 911. I wanted her to talk to a doctor about it, it seemed like dangerously low blood pressure to me, and of course, "follow up on low blood pressure with physician on record" was printed on every page of every set of discharge papers she was handed when leaving the emergency room with him, but she would use smile at me and say he was much improved when I asked.
My first priority when we moved in was to increase his caloric intake somehow. I chose breakfast, because he was eating it so late he never got lunch, so if I got breakfast in him early enough, I could start feeding him lunch, too. And I made oatmeal because he grew up with it, so it would be familiar, and it was cheap, so I could make as much as he wanted to eat, it was super easy to make, and it would stay hot if I warmed the bowl. Also, I put it on a tray and brought it upstairs to him. I knew I had to do something so my mom wouldn't be jealous, so I made her coffee, and pre heated the mug, and toasted an English muffin for her. And distracted her with that, while coaxing my dad to get up and start moving.
When I first moved in, I didn't have a clear idea of what to do and how to convince my parents it needed to be done. My priorities were washing out the dirty, overcrowded cabinets and finding out exactly what was in the jam-packed fridges, one in the kitchen and one in the garage. But my mother's priority was to have us all eating dinner together at night without her having to actually plan it, purchase it, prepare it, serve it, or clean it up, LOL.
This is just a bit of a ramble, I'm afraid. I had such clear ideas about what had to be done, and YET!! it took so long to get the simplest routines in place. I did all the right things, but the biggest problem has been not knowing how to work together as a team with my husband, or my mother. I think some trust and respect is essential to achieving anything as a team, and I still am no good at building those relationships. But, is my dad eating more? Yes he is! Does he weigh more? Yes he does! So that part is a success, just the hard boring work of carrying trays up and down, getting dishes and cutlery and pans washed and back on shelves, getting potatoes peeled and boiled and gravy made and meat defrosted in time
Hugs to all, thanks for listening!
Maja, you're you're doing a great job! It's great that your father is gaining weight. And please remember to be good to yourself as well! I hope you make time in the day for yourself.
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Congratulations Maja, you are doing a great job.
It's not easy, in fact, it's down right hard. When my aunt fell the last time, which finally put her in the nursing home, I realized that while my daughter was in college and on the brink of becoming an independent adult, capable of taking care of herself, my aunt was losing that ability. So, as my brother and I were discovering all the things she hid from us, so that we wouldn't push so hard for assisted living, I could see understand why she kept things to herself. I wish we had known sooner, that her friend, who finally called B(brother) to fill him in had done it sooner. But I think the friend was conflicted about it, too.
Ironically, we are now having her name added to the waiting list for assisted living at her place. The list is long for patients on Medicaid, and the chances of her ever being able to live that way are slim, but it's helping her morale and that's a big deal for us.
It's not easy, in fact, it's down right hard. When my aunt fell the last time, which finally put her in the nursing home, I realized that while my daughter was in college and on the brink of becoming an independent adult, capable of taking care of herself, my aunt was losing that ability. So, as my brother and I were discovering all the things she hid from us, so that we wouldn't push so hard for assisted living, I could see understand why she kept things to herself. I wish we had known sooner, that her friend, who finally called B(brother) to fill him in had done it sooner. But I think the friend was conflicted about it, too.
Ironically, we are now having her name added to the waiting list for assisted living at her place. The list is long for patients on Medicaid, and the chances of her ever being able to live that way are slim, but it's helping her morale and that's a big deal for us.
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KaeKae, I agree, it's hard...very tough for someone to acknowledge they can't live by themselves anymore. And really tough for friends and family to have to deliver that news to someone. Unfortunately, I think it's pretty common that a crisis, like falling or illness, usually sets things in motion naturally. Up until then, as you said, a person can hide things and be in denial. You and your brother have done such a great job caring for your aunt, and she is really lucky to have you both!
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With my MIL it worked out that all the things that we were "thinking about" doing (because we weren't being forced to do it at the time) should have been
done much sooner. Its much easier to do things when you're not in crisis mode like trying to deal with a car accident, or a fall, etc. I've learned a lot from
my DH taking care of his mom so when my parents get older I'm going to try to be more pro-active. I know its not easy because I can see my M&D
fighting me every step of the way.
While I'll just want them to be safe and happy...they'll just be wanting their freedom. I have another good 10years though before I have to start worrying about them (I think).
@Maja...sounds like you have gotten on the right track! So glad your dad is "bulking up" some.
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HI:
Maja--baby steps. Eating is NO small thing! My friend cares for her husband who has dementia and basic activities like eating and dressing/bathing just fall by the way unless the food in prepared and placed conveniently to eat. This is what she does. So glad you are prioritizing.
Tyty talks about being proactive. But in most cases people are not. My MIL always said she'd live forever but had an ischemic stroke that precipitated her demise. As she was the caregiver for her adult son (my BIL) with mental health issues, that task fell to us and we lived 2 years of he** doing things that should have been in place. Fact is, people choose their vacations more carefully then they do their senior years/life preparations. People just believe they can carry on doing what they are doing and will never need help.
If I can give one bit of advice, I would suggest getting legal affairs in order (POA, personal directive, and wills). Try to advocate for this.
cheers--Sharon
Maja--baby steps. Eating is NO small thing! My friend cares for her husband who has dementia and basic activities like eating and dressing/bathing just fall by the way unless the food in prepared and placed conveniently to eat. This is what she does. So glad you are prioritizing.
Tyty talks about being proactive. But in most cases people are not. My MIL always said she'd live forever but had an ischemic stroke that precipitated her demise. As she was the caregiver for her adult son (my BIL) with mental health issues, that task fell to us and we lived 2 years of he** doing things that should have been in place. Fact is, people choose their vacations more carefully then they do their senior years/life preparations. People just believe they can carry on doing what they are doing and will never need help.
If I can give one bit of advice, I would suggest getting legal affairs in order (POA, personal directive, and wills). Try to advocate for this.
cheers--Sharon
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Maja, Sharon brings up such a good point - it really helps to have all the legal things she mentioned in place - thank goodness we at least did that before my mother got in really bad shape, it did make things just a bit easier.
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Cannot agree more.
I've recently seen five people who had to be placed in "panic mode" it's so frustrating. We have several positive examples as well, though, where people planned carefully, accepted help early on and subsequently stayed at home until their last day.
I'm writing letter to my older self to remind me of this!!!
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Tyty, I 100% agree that so much should have been done before we had to. She took big advantage of the fact that I was living across the country at the time and my brother, while closer, was not nearby, either. When he and his family saw her, she did a good job of covering up.
She called B again, making crazy claims about how terrible it is at the rehab/nursing home. Yesterday, all she wanted was to get out of the hospital, now she wants out of the NH. I have a feeling that if she were to get to assisted living, that wouldn't be good either. Unfortunately, she can't have what she wants, which is to go back to her apartment in Queens. Even if we still had it, even if she was mentally capable, that apartment was not set up properly for what she needs.
Honestly, and not to get too far into it, there is no way she could navigate the bathroom, let alone use it independently. Her health and physical limitations are so bad, she would fall and die on the floor. She's lucky that didn't happen 3 years ago, when she fell and was seriously injured. A neighbor, who kept tabs on her, knew there was a problem when she didn't answer the door.
The above was typed up last evening, but apparently , I didn't post it. More of the same happened later in the evening, with my poor SIL having to take the call, because B wasn't home for a bit. Look
s like I'm heading down there in a little while to take my lumps. I'll be taking the toy poodle, who Aunt J loves, so maybe I'll get a few brownie points that way.
She called B again, making crazy claims about how terrible it is at the rehab/nursing home. Yesterday, all she wanted was to get out of the hospital, now she wants out of the NH. I have a feeling that if she were to get to assisted living, that wouldn't be good either. Unfortunately, she can't have what she wants, which is to go back to her apartment in Queens. Even if we still had it, even if she was mentally capable, that apartment was not set up properly for what she needs.
Honestly, and not to get too far into it, there is no way she could navigate the bathroom, let alone use it independently. Her health and physical limitations are so bad, she would fall and die on the floor. She's lucky that didn't happen 3 years ago, when she fell and was seriously injured. A neighbor, who kept tabs on her, knew there was a problem when she didn't answer the door.
The above was typed up last evening, but apparently , I didn't post it. More of the same happened later in the evening, with my poor SIL having to take the call, because B wasn't home for a bit. Look
s like I'm heading down there in a little while to take my lumps. I'll be taking the toy poodle, who Aunt J loves, so maybe I'll get a few brownie points that way.
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KaeKae, I feel bad for you. Take care of yourself.
I wish some scientist would come up with a pill that would make older people lose their stubbornness. My parents get so stubborn on issues that couldn’t cause them a great deal of harm. They are impossible to reason with.
I do well with handling the things that need to be done when they are sick and spending days on end at a hospital I’ve always considered just a normal part of it. My FIL had Alzheimer’s and my MIL had strokes so there were many emergencies.
My parents generation also seems to be terrible about asking doctors questions.
I wish some scientist would come up with a pill that would make older people lose their stubbornness. My parents get so stubborn on issues that couldn’t cause them a great deal of harm. They are impossible to reason with.
I do well with handling the things that need to be done when they are sick and spending days on end at a hospital I’ve always considered just a normal part of it. My FIL had Alzheimer’s and my MIL had strokes so there were many emergencies.
My parents generation also seems to be terrible about asking doctors questions.
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Glad to hear that folks are making plans for their care! As I work in health care I only see examples of the former--and the panic mode/hand wringing as you state. And personally as well, in our own family--putting our fires and often not successfully.
cheers--Sharon
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Ah KaKae, I'm sorry - it's understandable your aunt wants to go "home", I do feel for her. Losing one's independence is a very hard thing to accept and it's natural she would miss the comfort and security of her former life. I would too if I was in her place. But obviously that is just not an option, she clearly needs care and supervision so try not to feel bad when she pressures you to leave the NH. It's really nice that you are visiting her, I know you aren't close by. Visits from people was really the only thing that cheered up my mother and helped pass the time. And it's great you're taking the dog! That will be a really nice distraction and will lift her spirits. Sending hugs to you, hang in there, you and your brother are in a tough spot and you're doing all you can!
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Today's visit was mostly uneventful. My aunt was a sleep for most of the 4 hours I was there. When she woke we heard variations of:
You are here?
What time is it?
Why are you here?
Why am I here?
I don't like it here?
I'm cold/hot/not feeling well.
And once: it's horrible.
I do hope she remembers we were there and no one gets a frantic phone call tonight.
You are here?
What time is it?
Why are you here?
Why am I here?
I don't like it here?
I'm cold/hot/not feeling well.
And once: it's horrible.
I do hope she remembers we were there and no one gets a frantic phone call tonight.
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It's too bad your aunt wasn't more alert, and was a little confused KaeKae, she's probably still recovering from being ill, I think it can take a while for older people to bounce back from being sick. You did your part and at least she enjoyed seeing Rosie!
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People have all been so kind in sharing their stories and you will never know how much I appreciate it. It must be happening ALL OVER THE COUNTRY, and I'm just trying to learn fast enough so I'm not run over by the whole situation: the care and eventually the deaths of my parents. We're not a warm family, or demonstrative, or close, but I couldn't do nothing. Thank you @KaeKae @junebug17 @CJ2008 @canuk-gal @tyty333 @kipari @Calliecake
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Every piece of planning and preparation my parents did has proved helpful. The stair lift, the long-term-care insurance, the tax planning, the wills, the talking about how to split up my mom's jewelry, every bit of it was helpful and it was not too much. However! All this was done 25 years ago, back when they talked and smiled about "aging-in-place", but they didn't ever actually believe for minute they would ever age, , aging was something that happened to others.
They still think like that; my mom has a handicapped parking sticker and she won't use it at church because "there are so many people who 'really really' have difficulties, so we leave those spaces for them" is how the explained it to me. What? There's my frail little dad, tottering as the wind hits him, unable to see whether cars are moving or not because his head is down because he is so debilitated, but others have it worse? Well, yes, she is right on one level, on another--she is not looking out for him.
, aging was something that happened to others. They still think like that; my mom has a handicapped parking sticker and she won't use it at church because "there are so many people who 'really really' have difficulties, so we leave those spaces for them" is how the explained it to me.
What? There's my frail little dad, tottering as the wind hits him, unable to see whether cars are moving or not because his head is down because he is so debilitated, but others have it worse? Well, yes, she is right on one level, on another--she is not looking out for him.
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I know I am very harsh when I talk about my mother here. If you knew how widely admired she is as a home maker, as a business woman, as a friend to many, as a Navy wife, you would be shocked and possibly disbelieving to hear what I say. She is indeed all of those things I just wrote, but the home maker image is supported simply by her accomplishments at the Fair each year, and the many blue ribbons she has. She was an outstanding business woman, and ran a company with my dad, and they treated their employees well and fairly. But I remember the clutter and lack of routines in my childhood homes, and how dis-organizing that lack of order was. There was always a big push to do nice things when company came, but the daily round of housekeeping left her bored and unfulfilled, well, it can be boring and unfulfilling and lead you to neglect it, right? So she sewed instead, and the clutter just got worse and worse.
This house of theirs is the same, nice neighborhood, very pretty on the outside, but clutter everywhere inside with no attempt to excuse it, or to declutter. When we first got here, my dad was literally running his walker into boxes of things she had ordered online. He couldn't sit down to a clear place at the table to eat because she had her projects spread on it. He couldn't find clean towels, new razor blades, fresh pajamas, because daily necessities like that got covered by her orders of Christmas ornaments or more measuring cups or whatever.
I knew before I moved in here I would have to get smart about the mind game if I was going to stay sane. I can't stop my mom drinking, and I certainly can't keep her company while she drinks. I think she is lonely and frightened, and alcohol dulls those feelings. But I'm a lightweight, wine with dinner is as much as I can do and still function. My mother doesn't trust me, and my dad is too far gone to help her much.
This house of theirs is the same, nice neighborhood, very pretty on the outside, but clutter everywhere inside with no attempt to excuse it, or to declutter. When we first got here, my dad was literally running his walker into boxes of things she had ordered online. He couldn't sit down to a clear place at the table to eat because she had her projects spread on it. He couldn't find clean towels, new razor blades, fresh pajamas, because daily necessities like that got covered by her orders of Christmas ornaments or more measuring cups or whatever.
I knew before I moved in here I would have to get smart about the mind game if I was going to stay sane. I can't stop my mom drinking, and I certainly can't keep her company while she drinks. I think she is lonely and frightened, and alcohol dulls those feelings. But I'm a lightweight, wine with dinner is as much as I can do and still function. My mother doesn't trust me, and my dad is too far gone to help her much.
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I'll shut up now and let others talk for awhile. Hugs to all!
Maja share all you want. If it helps you to share it is all good. Everyone here wishes you all the best and you are doing a great job and the wonderful women here who have already been or are going through it are here for help and support and the rest of us are here for support too. (((Hugs))) and good luck and hang in there!
- Joined
- Jan 9, 2015
- Messages
- 3,451
Echoing missy:
Please share ad much as you want or need. I hope it helps a little bit. This tough and you are doing such a great job!!!
Please share ad much as you want or need. I hope it helps a little bit. This tough and you are doing such a great job!!!
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2006
- Messages
- 4,750
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2008
- Messages
- 27,238
I'll shut up now and let others talk for awhile. Hugs to all!
Sounds like you are in a very tough situation dealing with your mother. Maybe you could get her input on what she might like to do?
Clean up a room? Get the kitchen nice and clean so she can bake/cook (not sure if she can still do this). Get rid of some un-needed
stuff (donate it to someone who could really use it...churches/goodwill). Think of something
that would/could make her feel good but also help you start crossing stuff off your list of things that need to be done.
Rant...all you want. Most of us have either been there/done that so dont feel guilty at all!
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