a heart broken experience with Blue Nile, please help

[kittycat1988]

I can't even talk about this without crying...

3 years ago, I bought my wedding band from Blue Nile. At the time, BN's representative told us it is a re-sizable style (pavé diamond, half way across) and if they can't resize it, they can offer other options.

Fast forward to this year, my ring size grew from 5.75 to 7.5 due to pregnancy. It is a big jump and Blue Nile said they can only resize it to 6.5. Well... that's not going to work. What are my other options? They told me to BUY A NEW RING. They absolutely do not care about the sentimental value of a wedding band. The BN representative I spoke to over the phone compared it to a pair of jeans. If you outgrow it, get a new one.

The most ironic thing is, my ring is available on their website in the size I need. But they refused an even exchange. They also refused to turn it into a credit so I can use it toward my next purchase.

thoughts? is this a common practice among jewelers? I feel like I just tossed $2000 down the drain...not sure what to do about it

 

[elizat]

Sorry to hear about that.

That is a big jump with pave. Do you think your finger size will go down at all in the future, so it might fit again? If so, I might hold on to it as is.

If you need to have it sized, why not ask David Klass if he can do it? His bench does very good work and they can manipulate and curve old brooches with diamonds and preserve them.

However, I would keep in mind that if you need to size it back down again, that you will likely need to add sizing beads/pads, because sizing a pave band up and down that variance is more difficult. If you go back down to the other size, that much of a sizing bead or pad may not even be an option.

I can understand why they won't let you return it for credit or give you credit for a new one, because there is nothing wrong with the band. Comparing it to clothes is a bit rude, but I can see their point- you wore it for years and now it doesn't fit, but it's not defective. It was probably delivered less than optimally because of the sentimental value.

 

[lovedogs]

Sorry to hear about that.

That is a big jump with pave. Do you think your finger size will go down at all in the future, so it might fit again? If so, I might hold on to it as is.

If you need to have it sized, why not ask David Klass if he can do it? His bench does very good work and they can manipulate and curve old brooches with diamonds and preserve them.

However, I would keep in mind that if you need to size it back down again, that you will likely need to add sizing beads/pads, because sizing a pave band up and down that variance is more difficult. If you go back down to the other size, that much of a sizing bead or pad may not even be an option.

I can understand why they won't let you return it for credit or give you credit for a new one, because there is nothing wrong with the band. Comparing it to clothes is a bit rude, but I can see their point- you wore it for years and now it doesn't fit, but it's not defective. It was probably delivered less than optimally because of the sentimental value.

That's what I was going to say

 

[mrs-b]

@kittycat1988 -

I think your options are limited.

Firstly, your ring is now second hand to any future buyer - Blue Nile or otherwise, so you would be liable for the downgrade in price to which all second hand jewelry is subject. Unlike diamonds, which are remarkably hardy, jewelry is vulnerable to wear and tear, metal fatigue and so forth, so your ring - which you have worn for some years - could not be returned to stock and sold as a new ring.

Most rings are limited as to how far they can be sized, so BN really isn't trying to pull the wool over your eyes with this. Not only are your options limited - so are theirs. When the sales assistant said to you when you bought the ring that BN would be able to offer you other options should you outgrow the ring, I'm assuming they meant other rings you might like to purchase - ie other options and styles of things to buy.

Since you mentioned being open to the idea of a credit or a new ring in a larger size, I'm assuming it's not essential to you that you stay with this particular ring. However, if you want to stay as close to it as possible, I'd suggest sending it off to David Klass in LA and asking him to remove the diamonds, melt down the metal, then remake the same ring in your new size. It would still be the original ring - just remade in a way to accommodate its new size.

Hoping you can find a way forward with this!

 

[whitewave]

I think you are being unrealistic, but I’m sorry it is so heartbreaking to you.

If they size pave too much the diamonds won’t hold.

But you also complain about the sentimental value but you also want a credit or an exchange. So I’m not sure what exactly it is you want.

Sell the ring on the pre loved board and buy a new ring.

No jeweler is going to take back a used ring because it doesn’t fit any more and give you a brand new ring.

 

[TreeScientist]

Yep. Most pave rings can be sized a max of one size. 5.75 to 7.5 is almost 2 full sizes. If they sized it that much, they would compromise the structural integrity of the ring as they would likely not be able to get all of the diamonds completely tight in the prongs.

As @elizat already asked, do you think your ring size will go down in a year or so after pregnancy? I've known a few women that (unfortunately) had similar changes in ring size during/immediately after pregnancy, but almost all of them went down to within about a half size or so of their original size within a year or two unless there was a significant change from pre-pregnancy weight.

I don't really see anything wrong with how blue nile is handling this. Did you think they would give you a full refund on an item that you have worn for a few years? If they did this for every owner of a pave/eternity ring that had a significant change is ring size (much more common than you think), then how would they make money?

 

[the_mother_thing]

I’d get a temp wedding band in your new size to wear, give it some time, and see if your ring size goes back down at all before making ANY changes to any jewelry. You can get an inexpensive, simple band to wear in the mean time. It doesn’t make you any ‘less married’, and if you’re that sentimental about your current band, wear it on a necklace in the mean time so it’s close to your heart.

 

[TreeScientist]

I’d get a temp wedding band in your new size to wear, give it some time, and see if your ring size goes back down at all before making ANY changes to any jewelry. You can get an inexpensive, simple band to wear in the mean time. It doesn’t make you any ‘less married’, and if you’re that sentimental about your current band, wear it on a necklace in the mean time so it’s close to your heart.

Good idea. You can get plain sterling silver wedding bands for $20-30 on Amazon/Berricle. Pick up one of those and wait a year to see what happens. Your finger may very well go down to a 6.5 in the next year (in which case Blue Nile could resize it) so no need to rush into anything.

 

[whitewave]

By the way, I had 3 kids in 2 years, so I get the hormonal aspect of this.

 

[kittycat1988]

Sorry to hear about that.

That is a big jump with pave. Do you think your finger size will go down at all in the future, so it might fit again? If so, I might hold on to it as is.

If you need to have it sized, why not ask David Klass if he can do it? His bench does very good work and they can manipulate and curve old brooches with diamonds and preserve them.

However, I would keep in mind that if you need to size it back down again, that you will likely need to add sizing beads/pads, because sizing a pave band up and down that variance is more difficult. If you go back down to the other size, that much of a sizing bead or pad may not even be an option.

I can understand why they won't let you return it for credit or give you credit for a new one, because there is nothing wrong with the band. Comparing it to clothes is a bit rude, but I can see their point- you wore it for years and now it doesn't fit, but it's not defective. It was probably delivered less than optimally because of the sentimental value.

Elizat, thank you for your suggestions.

 

[kittycat1988]

@kittycat1988 -

I think your options are limited.

Firstly, your ring is now second hand to any future buyer - Blue Nile or otherwise, so you would be liable for the downgrade in price to which all second hand jewelry is subject. Unlike diamonds, which are remarkably hardy, jewelry is vulnerable to wear and tear, metal fatigue and so forth, so your ring - which you have worn for some years - could not be returned to stock and sold as a new ring.

Most rings are limited as to how far they can be sized, so BN really isn't trying to pull the wool over your eyes with this. Not only are your options limited - so are theirs. When the sales assistant said to you when you bought the ring that BN would be able to offer you other options should you outgrow the ring, I'm assuming they meant other rings you might like to purchase - ie other options and styles of things to buy.

Since you mentioned being open to the idea of a credit or a new ring in a larger size, I'm assuming it's not essential to you that you stay with this particular ring. However, if you want to stay as close to it as possible, I'd suggest sending it off to David Klass in LA and asking him to remove the diamonds, melt down the metal, then remake the same ring in your new size. It would still be the original ring - just remade in a way to accommodate its new size.

Hoping you can find a way forward with this!

I am probably just going to keep it as a reminder to never spend thousands on jewelery again.

 

[hypermom]

I think you are being unrealistic, but I’m sorry it is so heartbreaking to you.

If they size pave too much the diamonds won’t hold.

But you also complain about the sentimental value but you also want a credit or an exchange. So I’m not sure what exactly it is you want.

Sell the ring on the pre loved board and buy a new ring.

No jeweler is going to take back a used ring because it doesn’t fit any more and give you a brand new ring.

I’ve been through multiple wedding bands. My first small eternity wedding band broke after 20 years. I’m probably on my fourth and final band now. For me I’m happy to still be with the same guy. Stuff is stuff.

Just my opinion. I agree with @whitewave in everything she says.

 

[GlitterInMyHair]

I think your expectations of BN is unrealistic, TBH.

If you've been driving a sedan for the past 3 yrs, but now needs a SUV because you have a baby, would you expect the car dealer to give you credit for the full purchase price of the sedan, in exchange for a SUV??

 

[lovedogs]

I think you are being unrealistic, but I’m sorry it is so heartbreaking to you.

If they size pave too much the diamonds won’t hold.

But you also complain about the sentimental value but you also want a credit or an exchange. So I’m not sure what exactly it is you want.

Sell the ring on the pre loved board and buy a new ring.

No jeweler is going to take back a used ring because it doesn’t fit any more and give you a brand new ring.

I agree. To the OP: I totally understand being sentimental, but remember that your rings aren't your marriage. They are just rings. Your love for your DH goes much beyond rings.

 

[hypermom]

I agree. To the OP: I totally understand being sentimental, but remember that your rings aren't your marriage. They are just rings. Your love for your DH goes much beyond rings.

@lovedogs so well said. You always have the best advice!

 

[pearlsngems]

My hands swelled with pregnancy also and my white gold wedding band didn't fit. I bought a simple sterling silver ring to wear in its place, while hanging onto the original ring. Eventually I was able to wear it again.

 

[GliderPoss]

I’d get a temp wedding band in your new size to wear, give it some time, and see if your ring size goes back down at all before making ANY changes to any jewelry. You can get an inexpensive, simple band to wear in the mean time. It doesn’t make you any ‘less married’, and if you’re that sentimental about your current band, wear it on a necklace in the mean time so it’s close to your heart.

Yeah I agree with this - all my friends & sisters just stopped wearing their too tight rings during pregnancy. Don’t stress about it! Just enjoy them on a necklace instead. I see that it’s emotional for you but what your asking of BN is unreasonable...

 

[yssie]

Your ring is now too tight.
It happens.
Ditto @whitewave - how, exactly, is getting a brand new ring, or returning your current ring for credit toward a new piece, not destroying any sentimental value?
The comparison to jeans was an excellent one: If old clothes no longer fit - perhaps due to the same pregnancy that's caused your old ring to not fit - you don't go to those apparel vendors and demand an exchange/refund - you just buy new clothes.
Your demand is unreasonable and the emphasis on sentiment is disingenuous.

 

[luv2sparkle]

My advise would be to 1) see if David Klass can size it for you. 2) buy another of the same ring. Keep the first in case your size reduces some time in the future.

This happens to a lot of people. Both my husband and I had our wedding rings re sized. Keeping the original means you don’t lose a treasured piece.

There is not a single jeweler anywhere that would give you another ring in trade for one you out grew. You are asking too much of them.

 

[PreRaphaelite]

I’m sorry you are hurting, O.P. - Everyone here is trying to be helpful.

You aren’t ‘out’ $2000. You have a beautiful ring that you loved and, until now, were happy with. That money isn’t lost. Neither is the sentiment.

Keep your original ring and wait a year. Allow your body to reach a stable size back down again after your pregnancy and then have it sized just as BN offered in the beginning. You’ll have your original ring and the sentiment attached to it intact. It just means waiting a little while.

In the meantime, enjoy some other rings as millions of expectant mothers do, all over the world. It’s normal. It should even appear in the book about what to expect when you’re expecting, right? It’s called a Push Present, I think.

Good luck to you.

 

[KristinTech]

I also understand your disappointment and sentimentality... and I think BN gave you a matter-of-fact analogy that you’re currently too sad to see is correct.... and I personally GET that! I think we all understand where you’re coming from. But BN shouldn’t have to replace or credit this purchase. I’m sorry you’re upset, though! I love the idea of wearing it on a necklace while you and hubby decide what to do about an anniversary band at the next celebration.

My original wedding band (engraving preserved) was used as a replacement shank for my original engagement ring— Where the oval diamond FELL OUT and was lost for about two hours (head needed replaced and I ignored the bench jeweler’s warning). We re-set the oval at our next anniversary, and now my original ering/wedding band sits empty in the coffin of the jewelry box! Very sad to me when I see it, and I want to bring it back to its glory somehow as a RHR. Anyway, all this to say—I hope you find something special to mark your next anniversary. A new band with new memories and adventures awaiting.

 

[whitewave]

How old is the baby? It takes a good 10+ months to get back down. Sometimes 1.5 years. Hang in there.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

i love the idea of wearing it around your neck on a chain - keeps it close to your heart
maybe your husband will buy you a lovelly eternity band that can sit in its place in the meantime and then compliment it when your finger size settles down and you can get it sized to fit
or why not get it sized for your pinky, because i totally get the sentimental aspect
i actually see lots of ladies wearing their beaitiful ER and wedding bands on their pinky - who knows why ? but it works for them


congratulations on the baby and good luck on desiding on what to do about your ring

 

[Laila619]

It's just how it is unfortunately. Same exact thing happened to me. I sold it and bought a new one that I like even more, and it was cheaper too (bonus!).

 

[Bron357]

How upsetting and disappointing for you.
I think when they said it could be resized, they were meaning up or down one size. It’s very difficult / impossible to resize a pave set by more than this as it causes the diamonds to “pop”.
Dealing with the issue to hand, I would suggest having your wedding ring made into a pendant with a gold centre. In that gold centre you can have your wedding date engraved and include the birthstone(s) of your children. That way you create a new piece of special jewellery to wear and treasure.

 

[kittycat1988]

How upsetting and disappointing for you.
I think when they said it could be resized, they were meaning up or down one size. It’s very difficult / impossible to resize a pave set by more than this as it causes the diamonds to “pop”.
Dealing with the issue to hand, I would suggest having your wedding ring made into a pendant with a gold centre. In that gold centre you can have your wedding date engraved and include the birthstone(s) of your children. That way you create a new piece of special jewellery to wear and treasure.

That's a lovely idea. Perhaps when I am finally over it, I will bring it to a local jeweler and see if they could design it so I can wear it as a piece of memorable jewelery again.

 

[kittycat1988]

It's just how it is unfortunately. Same exact thing happened to me. I sold it and bought a new one that I like even more, and it was cheaper too (bonus!).

Thank you for sharing your experience. You are very kind to encourage me to think positively. I appreciate it.

 

[Laila619]

Thank you for sharing your experience. You are very kind to encourage me to think positively. I appreciate it.

We have/had the same size increase too, a 5.75 to a 7.5. Eventually, my finger size shrunk a bit, but only to a 6.75 or 7. So I think my 'new' size is here to stay. However, give it time. Yours could go back, you just never know!

 

[facetgirl]

Buy yourself a beautiful diamond by the yard chain and wear your ring around your neck and see if your fingers re-size in time. Mine have with each child and at some point it all levels out. If they do, now you'll have the ring, and the necklace that got you through all of this frustration.

 

[kittycat1988]

Buy yourself a beautiful diamond by the yard chain and wear your ring around your neck and see if your fingers re-size in time. Mine have with each child and at some point it all levels out. If they do, now you'll have the ring, and the necklace that got you through all of this frustration.

Funny you mentioned diamond by the yard. My coworker went through a similar situation with Tiffany, they actually did an even exchange for her. That's why I thought BN would do the same. I guess you pay more for a different policy.