Advice Needed!

[headlight]

Hello, fellow-P.S.ers...
So, as many of you know, I have been conflicted over my diamond I purchased (trade-in) in February due to some of the proportions not being what they should be, specifically the 4% girdle/63% total depth.
I have been very upset about it and my husband knows I am upset, and said he would go back to the jeweler with me about it (which that, in and of itself, is very anxiety-provoking for me... I know I will be very "bold" with my input here, but it is easy to be bold when you are hiding behind a computer screen and no one knows your real name!!!).
When I got the diamond, I was hesitant... I thought I was just nervous as it was a big decision and so much weighed on it. This jeweler makes an annual Fall trip to Antwerp and had told me at the time if I wasn't happy, he would see what he could find on that trip. So, fast forward, he is getting ready to go next month. I told him I would be interested in him seeing what he could find, unless he thought I wouldn't really see a difference that would make it worth whatever would be involved (don't know what this will cost me, but I know there would be something as at the time he said we would find something "equitable" - whatever). Well, clearly I was hoping it would work itself out.
Anyhow, he told me that he felt that for the "nano metrics" it wouldn't be a marked difference. So I was thinking that perhaps it is not too far off as here I am giving him, essentially, the opportunity to take more money from me and yet he told me a swap would not be worth it, which would make one think he truly feels that as why otherwise would he not want to make more money off of me???
I believe many of you will feel that maybe he doesn't know what he is doing, but he is veteran in this industry (not that it equates with knowledge, of course), but he is an AGS store and carries AGS stones, so clearly he does know the finer stones exist!
But, as well all know, everyone has a budget and I am no exception. I can't expect my husband to be in favor of shelling out an exorbitant amount of cash just to get to the nirvana, nor do I want him to, and I already feel so ashamed of all I have put him through all these years with the diamond trades and the mistakes along the way and putting my trust in jewelers I should have not had trust in... you all know the color is extremely important to me and I don't want to go below E. Also, I don't want to go below 2 ct.
SO, with all that said, is it worth it to go down this rabbit hole? If he comes up with something - as I am sure he will! - what if it is cost-prohibitive? Then I will be bummed I couldn't get it. Right now, I don't have a stone that is better staring at me in the face, if you get what I mean.
So here's the other caveat: Many of you have heard the story of the beautiful marquise my husband proposed with (1.01, D color, SI1, 2:1 ratio, minimal bow tie)... that I FOOLISHLY traded away in lieu of BIGGER (and, hence, less quality). That trade then was traded for even larger (and even lesser quality)... until I was able to make the move this past Feb. (With that said, there are MANY elements that are quantum improvement from the previous which I can get into but suffice it to say that when I presented my husband with the concept of getting something smaller but of higher quality in a mounting that was comfortable for my finger issues that would essentially be an equal trade with no out of pocket which is basically what it was, short of a couple hundred dollars which included the special mounting for my finger situation from CLIQ, that I would be happy even if I could get SOME improvement... and in honesty that has certainly come to fruition.)
However, I have still been mourning the loss of that original diamond, it has grated and tormented me more and more as the years have gone on to the point that now I am absolutely heartbroken and devastated over it. I was hoping that my new diamond in question would have served as a "replacement" for that but clearly not, given it's now recognized shortfalls with regard to the proportions and optical deficiencies. So I have had this delusion of possibly getting that original back. Stranger things have happened! It was traded at a jeweler in Hong Kong. The son has now taken over the business. My very sweet husband was able to get their contact info and told me to see if they still had it! Can you believe what a great husband I have! So I know it was a needle in a haystack, but I figured some jewelers have stones sitting in their inventory for years. And given marquises had sort of gone "out of fashion" to the point of ridicule for many years maybe even more of shot that it just sat there. Well, I made contact and, sadly, it is not there
I was thinking earlier this week, after I had been in contact with my jeweler over a swap of the round, that perhaps I let that go and put the money into getting my original back and let it be. I would be reunited and made "whole", and the round is still a nice diamond... it's not super ideal but it did make 3X (although we know what that means lol) and it is an E color with a GIA grading (previous diamond had EGL Israel cert so you know huge improvement there alone!) which you all know I'm elated about the E color as I've gone on ad nauseam with you all about it, and certainly the stone even with some proportion shortfalls is nothing to sneeze at, knowing you have something that is of 1% of all diamonds with its E color, which I personally think is pretty cool! It has the small table and high crown which is aesthetically appealing to me, and in MOST lighting conditions I love it. BUT... there's always a but lol... there are a couple lighting situations in which it is definitely not pleasing to me... and I'm sure that's where those shortfalls in the specs come into focus. But let's be honest, we've seen way, way, way worse presented here as well as out in the world. So I don't want to be unappreciative nor a complainer.
So I was thinking that if my husband was willing to buy that original one back, he may be willing to "replace" with another marquise of similar specs to the original. He knows I'm devastated. So maybe I discuss with him rather than go down the rabbit hole with the jeweler on this one, and just be happy that I now have a much nicer diamond and mounting than I had previously, even though not PS perfect, use the funds instead to get something to fill the void of that marquise by getting a marquise of similar specs to the original????????
PLEASE SHARE ALL THOUGHTS... I TOTALLY RESPECT AND APPRECIATE WHAT YOU ALL BRING TO PS AND WHAT YOU HAVE BROUGHT TO ME THUS FAR!!!
Thank you in advance.

 

[Wewechew]

Please, see a super ideal in person. If you love it more than your current diamond I would 100% suggest you do not upgrade with the current jeweler, but go get yourself a super ideal. Or go get yourself a Marquise. But I promise you that you will not be happy with another round that is not a super ideal. I think you have it in your head that super ideals look perfect all the time, and they don't. But you either need to see that in person, or bite the bullet and shell out cash for a super ideal.

 

[headlight]

If I change out the current RB, it will have to be with the same jeweler. My husband will have to work with him to find me a suitable replacement of better proportions. This transaction is too new to start elsewhere. The jeweler told me he would look in Antwerp at the time of this acquisition if I wasn't happy, so the offer was made, and then I made contact with him on it so he knows there is some questioning of this stone. My husband and I both agreed that we shouldn't feel the pressure of his Antwerp trip as he could call in stones whenever he wants so it wouldn't have to be sourced from there. If I win the lottery tomorrow, first stop will be at WF or HPD, I can assure you of that!!! (Of course, that would require me actually buying lottery tickets lol!)

 

[Wewechew]

@headlight in that case, I think getting a similar Marquise to your original is a really good way to go. I think the sentimentality would be very touching.

 

[headlight]

@headlight in that case, I think getting a similar Marquise to your original is a really good way to go. I think the sentimentality would be very touching.

Thank you for your input!!!

 

[mwilliamanderson]

I totally agree with Wewechew that you need to see a stone with super ideal proportions to be able to determine if you see a difference. You seem so excited about having the very best optics that I’m worried a marquise will be disappointing especially a one carat marquise after having worn a 3 ct and 2 ct for so long.

I do understand the mind clean issue. I have an AGS000 True Hearts stone, just outside the super ideal range with CA35 and PA41 and the arrows won’t display all at once...it drives me crazy knowing I didn't get a super ideal. It’s a beautiful diamond but I can’t stop thinking there’s a better one out there for me ! I am planning an upgrade to CBI or ACA at some point even though I know I will lose money on my current stone. And yet another part of me knows that how sparkly my diamond is at any given point has very little to do with my real happiness and the happiness of those I love. Whatever decision you make try not to do it from this place of frustration and disappointment. Focus on how beautiful your diamond looks and how happy it makes you feel when it’s performing well. Focus on how much your husband loves you and how important it is for him that you be happy with your ring. And stop beating yourself up for trading in rings that you’d grown tired of...please. You deserve better. Then when you're feeling better I promise you will be magnetic to your next diamond and things will fall into place in the perfect way for you. Getting off my spiritual milk crate now...

Your stone looks amazing and I recently read a post by Karl, I believe, that said total depth has nothing to do with optical performance. Your diamond is just a little thicker in the middle where it can’t be enjoyed, but your crown and pavillion angles are cherry aren’t they? Gets your eyes on a super ideal and see if you can see a difference.

Sincerely,
Michael

 

[headlight]

I totally agree with Wewechew that you need to see a stone with super ideal proportions to be able to determine if you see a difference. You seem so excited about having the very best optics that I’m worried a marquise will be disappointing especially a one carat marquise after having worn a 3 ct and 2 ct for so long.

I do understand the mind clean issue. I have an AGS000 True Hearts stone, just outside the super ideal range with CA35 and PA41 and the arrows won’t display all at once...it drives me crazy knowing I didn't get a super ideal. It’s a beautiful diamond but I can’t stop thinking there’s a better one out there for me ! I am planning an upgrade to CBI or ACA at some point even though I know I will lose money on my current stone. And yet another part of me knows that how sparkly my diamond is at any given point has very little to do with my real happiness and the happiness of those I love. Whatever decision you make try not to do it from this place of frustration and disappointment. Focus on how beautiful your diamond looks and how happy it makes you feel when it’s performing well. Focus on how much your husband loves you and how important it is for him that you be happy with your ring. And stop beating yourself up for trading in rings that you’d grown tired of...please. You deserve better. Then when you're feeling better I promise you will be magnetic to your next diamond and things will fall into place in the perfect way for you. Getting off my spiritual milk crate now...

Your stone looks amazing and I recently read a post by Karl, I believe, that said total depth has nothing to do with optical performance. Your diamond is just a little thicker in the middle where it can’t be enjoyed, but your crown and pavillion angles are cherry aren’t they? Gets your eyes on a super ideal and see if you can see a difference.

Sincerely,
Michael

This is such an amazing read! I will have to screen shot and save! Focussing on all the positives of the diamond and all the things in my life is something I need to work on. My husband tells me all the time
Ahh, the girdle issue. I had this strange feeling when I saw the % on the report (which I didn't notice until we were well into this stone's selection, pretty much narrowed down to this one because the better cut was a G and I could see the difference and I thought how often does the chance to get an E come along??!!!), so this girdle issue is coming back to bite me and it's one of those things you kick yourself for (but I need to stop doing that!)... my husband always tells me "you can't go backwards"!
The marquise thing is about having something that replicates what I gave up... it isn't supposed to be in lieu of this round I have now. I would still keep the round as is, and then get a marquise similar to the original E ring specs. (And, quite honestly, with the measurements of my "small for size" 2 carat round, the length of a 1.01 marquise would probably be pretty similar!!!) So I would have BOTH this current 2.01 whose mid-section needs a diet LOL AND the 1.01 marquise as my "sentimental" ring.
My point was should I just leave well enough alone for this round I have now, and put the money into replacing the marquise I am forlorn over.
I cannot expect my husband to pay extra to swap this round AND get the marquise.
So, it's like try to go up from this round and pray it is closer to nirvana.
Or accept this for its virtues and also bring a marquise back into my life (albeit it is not the original one)... yikes, neither is "perfect" but I guess that's part of my problem... I have to get over my expectations.
WHAT I FIND INTERESTING is YOUR DIAMOND... this brings to mind something I had heard... that all AGS000s are not super ideal... I had heard but didn't realize it was true which makes the challenge for consumers that much greater. I figured if I had an AGS000 I would be good to go. (On that note, I also have heard that not all H & A are ideal... but that there are H & A that ARE!) Really a minefield out there!
Thanks for all your extremely helpful insight.

 

[mwilliamanderson]

This is such an amazing read! I will have to screen shot and save! Focussing on all the positives of the diamond and all the things in my life is something I need to work on. My husband tells me all the time
Ahh, the girdle issue. I had this strange feeling when I saw the % on the report (which I didn't notice until we were well into this stone's selection, pretty much narrowed down to this one because the better cut was a G and I could see the difference and I thought how often does the chance to get an E come along??!!!), so this girdle issue is coming back to bite me and it's one of those things you kick yourself for (but I need to stop doing that!)... my husband always tells me "you can't go backwards"!
The marquise thing is about having something that replicates what I gave up... it isn't supposed to be in lieu of this round I have now. I would still keep the round as is, and then get a marquise similar to the original E ring specs. (And, quite honestly, with the measurements of my "small for size" 2 carat round, the length of a 1.01 marquise would probably be pretty similar!!!) So I would have BOTH this current 2.01 whose mid-section needs a diet LOL AND the 1.01 marquise as my "sentimental" ring.
My point was should I just leave well enough alone for this round I have now, and put the money into replacing the marquise I am forlorn over.
I cannot expect my husband to pay extra to swap this round AND get the marquise.
So, it's like try to go up from this round and pray it is closer to nirvana.
Or accept this for its virtues and also bring a marquise back into my life (albeit it is not the original one)... yikes, neither is "perfect" but I guess that's part of my problem... I have to get over my expectations.
WHAT I FIND INTERESTING is YOUR DIAMOND... this brings to mind something I had heard... that all AGS000s are not super ideal... I had heard but didn't realize it was true which makes the challenge for consumers that much greater. I figured if I had an AGS000 I would be good to go. (On that note, I also have heard that not all H & A are ideal... but that there are H & A that ARE!) Really a minefield out there!
Thanks for all your extremely helpful insight.

I see, get a marquise AND keep your ring. That sounds like a lovely idea. I still think you’ll always wonder though. So my advice remains the same. As far as my stone, the light performance is killer as an AGSOOO should be. My understanding is that its light performance is top notch, but that says nothing about precision cut for H and A patterning. As you can see from my avatar I can never catch more than three or 4 of the arrows at once. That’s something I’d really like to see.

 

[headlight]

I agree, to have both would be lovely. And i agree, i will always wonder LOL!
Definitely food for thought. I suppose, as always mentioned here, I can do an upgrade with a preferred vendor and just pay the diff. So that door is always open as long as it doesn't prevent me from buying food LOL! However, I do feel the window to go back to the jeweler on this is not going to be open forever. That's why I was feeling a sense of urgency. I know I should focus on the fact that I do have a much more attractive diamond on all accounts than the last one: 4 color grades higher (and sometimes I think perhaps really 5!), nice table and crown (vs. overtly spready and shallow), definitely better cut, no dark inclusions at all, no eye-visible inclusions, mounting that is a pleasure to wear that I'm not "fighting" with due to discomfort. If I posted photos of the former (if I haven't already deleted them all) you guys would have to turn off your computer screens, so ugly lol! I suppose I should find and use as a reminder of all the "advancement" I have made!
I think your diamond looks great! And the mounting is so cool!

 

[TODiamonds]

This won't be the popular opinion here, but there are more important things in life to worry about than the specs of your diamond. Your husband's happiness for example, is way more important than your diamond. Your mental health is way more important than your diamond. Your time is more important.

Everyone's in a different situation. If you (or your husband) are rolling in dough then I'd say just go get a super ideal so you can move on with your life. But it sounds like you have some real budget constraints while at the same time you have some high standards for what you want in a diamond.

Why don't you look up the price for some diamonds that fit your criteria. Then ask yourself honestly if your family is in a position to afford it. Will it put you under financial strain? What are the tradeoffs you'll have to make? Would you rather use that money to buy something else? If it becomes evident that your budget will not satisfy your criteria then be happy that you've got a sweet diamond and an even sweeter husband who will put up with all this, and move on with your life so you can be happy.

 

[headlight]

This won't be the popular opinion here, but there are more important things in life to worry about than the specs of your diamond. Your husband's happiness for example, is way more important than your diamond. Your mental health is way more important than your diamond. Your time is more important.

Everyone's in a different situation. If you (or your husband) are rolling in dough then I'd say just go get a super ideal so you can move on with your life. But it sounds like you have some real budget constraints while at the same time you have some high standards for what you want in a diamond.

Why don't you look up the price for some diamonds that fit your criteria. Then ask yourself honestly if your family is in a position to afford it. Will it put you under financial strain? What are the tradeoffs you'll have to make? Would you rather use that money to buy something else? If it becomes evident that your budget will not satisfy your criteria then be happy that you've got a sweet diamond and an even sweeter husband who will put up with all this, and move on with your life so you can be happy.

Thank you for your input. The budget isn't the issue. I don't want to lay out a ton of money. My husband will do whatever I want at the end of the day... he wants me to be happy, obviously. But I have put him through enough expenditure over the years with upgrades and new mountings, etc., etc. Since the jeweler had initially offered about his Antwerp trip if I wasn't happy, I figured any "increase" would be "nominal" as opposed to going to fund a completely new diamond with a "trade" down the road. Over time, that extra push now would be off the table and it would be like doing a whole new upgrade. With that said, I can say with all honesty that I am one of that jewelers biggest customer, if not the biggest. That's not a bragging thing, it is just reality. And he likes my husband and gives him a "respect" i don't think he extends to me in the same way. It's like the businessman to businessman thing, I guess. So perhaps my husband would have leeway with him on this down the road, perhaps not. I just don't know.
But what I do agree with you is, and I'm glad you said it, is that I need to stop worrying about the diamond. YET, when it is not great lighting or not super clean (as discussed in a thread a couple weeks ago) it isn't as great which is when the regret kicks in. Also, "playing" here on PS is wonderful and torturous all at the same time LOL!!! And the fact that I care so much about diamonds is also a curse... I have friends who could care less about diamonds and jewelry!!!

 

[mwilliamanderson]

I think your diamond looks great! And the mounting is so cool!

Thanks Headlight! I came back to Pricescope to plot my upgrade and after a few weeks here I’m taking a dose of my own medicine and remembering why I love it! (still planning an upgrade though)

In the meanwhile, I’ve contacted HP Diamonds about updating a ring my grandfather left me when he died, with a couple of H and A melee and a black star sapphire. It’s not an expensive ring but he wore it for as long as I can remember and I feel it will be part him and part me when it’s done. They’ve agreed to take a look at it so I’m sending it off tomorrow.

 

[headlight]

Thanks Headlight! I came back to Pricescope to plot my upgrade and after a few weeks here I’m taking a dose of my own medicine and remembering why I love it! (still planning an upgrade though)

In the meanwhile, I’ve contacted HP Diamonds about updating a ring my grandfather left me when he died, with a couple of H and A melee and a black star sapphire. It’s not an expensive ring but he wore it for as long as I can remember and I feel it will be part him and part me when it’s done. They’ve agreed to take a look at it so I’m sending it off tomorrow.

Yes, we are always great at giving advice but not so great at applying it to oneself!
That project with your grandfather's ring is so special. Will look forward to hearing more about that project!

 

[Wewechew]

@headlight do you really think leaving your E as is and adding a marquise will allow you to move on from obsessing about your E?

 

[whatamilookingat]

Is there any way you would be willing to get a smaller, high quality ACA or CBI and slowly upgrade that? As in throw it in an inexpensive setting and steadily upgrade maybe a quarter carat a year? Maybe then you could still keep your two carat. Then when your ACA or CBI is the size and color you want you can trade your current imperfect to you round brilliant for a nice big marquis from your current jeweler.

 

[headlight]

@headlight do you really think leaving your E as is and adding a marquise will allow you to move on from obsessing about your E?

I definitely hear you... I have to make peace with this so that's why I came to all of you today!!!

 

[headlight]

Is there any way you would be willing to get a smaller, high quality ACA or CBI and slowly upgrade that? As in throw it in an inexpensive setting and steadily upgrade maybe a quarter carat a year? Maybe then you could still keep your two carat. Then when your ACA or CBI is the size and color you want you can trade your current imperfect to you round brilliant for a nice big marquis from your current jeweler.

I already came down from a 3.29 (9.59mm) that was in an embellished HALO, so massive finger coverage to a 8.01mm 2ct in a soli. So this is as small as I am willing to go. Also, I can't get away with inexpensive mountings because I have a knuckle problem and have to get the special one by CLIQ, so that's like a grand-ish for 14k.
But I do like how you're thinking. Definitely something to consider.
If I get another marquise, I'm going to get it from the person the original one came from as he knows how to source a good one... I'm not even going to involve my jeweler. On that note, I wish I had done the most recent trade with him
SO HERE'S ANOTHER THING I FORGOT...
I have my grandmothers diamond stud earrings... 2.65 ct EACH, yes I said that. They are VS 1 or 2, cannot recall but definitely VS, and G color. They aren't ideal cut as they were fashioned many, many, many years ago. Although they sure sparkle so go figure. Anyhow, since they came from such nice rough, I was thinking I could also get one of those recut to ideal proportions! Thoughts???
Then I could have my sweet 8.01mm E color round, a G, VS ideal recut, and who knows what else!!!

 

[mwilliamanderson]

Anyhow, since they came from such nice rough, I was thinking I could also get one of those recut to ideal proportions! Thoughts???

Now you're talking!! Why not get them both recut? Make a pendant and a ring! I bet she’d love you wearing them more often.

 

[Wewechew]

Is there any way you would be willing to get a smaller, high quality ACA or CBI and slowly upgrade that? As in throw it in an inexpensive setting and steadily upgrade maybe a quarter carat a year? Maybe then you could still keep your two carat. Then when your ACA or CBI is the size and color you want you can trade your current imperfect to you round brilliant for a nice big marquis from your current jeweler.

I really like this idea. Maybe put it in a pendent so you don’t have to spend a lot of money on the setting as you upgrade.

 

[Wewechew]

https://www.hpdiamonds.com/en-us/diamonddetail/HPD10410

I think you want a super ideal, and this gets you in the door. Worst case scenario- you realize you already have a beautiful stone and now have a lovely pendant. Think about it.

 

[whatamilookingat]

I see what you mean about the size thing. It would be quite an adjustment to go down much further if you are used to larger stones. However, what I meant was for you to keep your engagement ring as is and buy an ACA or CBI (maybe 1 carat-ish) instead of spending the money you are thinking about for the smaller marquise. That way there is no shock to the system, since you will still have your current beautiful rb on your finger. It may ease your anxiety about not having a super ideal on your left hand, as long as you know you are working your way towards a larger diamond that fits all your needs (and have something tangible to enjoy while you are at it).
I understand the ring setting changes would be too costly due to your issues. I like what @Wewechew said about the pendant. Please forgive me if I'm being too pushy. It just seems like there is the possibility you may never be happy with quicker fixes. I know what it's like to be so hopeful that your perfect ring is done, only to find out it just quite isn't what you hoped for. It would be awful to spend more money on something that may never be mind clean to you.

 

[MissGotRocks]

I think you have been way too harsh on your current stone. I think the further you go, the more you have convinced yourself that it is a subpar stone. You were thrilled with it initially and then you started looking into all of the numbers and your joy turned to disappointment. You are comparing it in your head to numbers and images that you haven't even seen. Truth is there is no way to quantify the look of a super ideal cut stone to the one that you have. You can't say that a super ideal is 20% better - and what would 20% look like? No way to know. You would need to compare it to a 2.01 E ideal cut stone to really know and that's not easy to find either.
As for the marquise stone that you let go, I truly think you have to let it go. The chances of you finding another that looks just like it or as good as it was probably doesn't really exist. Again, you have an image in your head and what if you buy another and are then convinced that it just doesn't look the same? More money spent trying to fix the problem of the 2.1 round. Now you have two problems.
I would concentrate my energies on the current diamond. In a perfect world, you would sell it and buy from a super ideal vendor. I'm guessing that you don't want to go down that road and would have no idea how much you would lose or how much more you would have to pay. So what if you tell the jeweler that you are looking for a stone that would have xyz numbers? It would have to be able to be graded as AGS0. And ask him how much he thinks that would cost. How much would it be if you moved up to the 2.25 range? How much more could you expect to stay if you stayed at the same color/clarity but something in the AGS0 range? Or tell him that you have x amount more money to spend and that is it? I would try to negotiate these things before his trip. It may not be hard and fast numbers but you would have some idea if it was doable for you or not. If not, then you might want to consider buying a smaller super ideal and move up incrementally with it. The earrings could certainly be another option as long as they were candidates for recut and could stay at the 2 carat mark. Would you wear multiple rings if you had them? I wouldn't be that's just me - there are lots of folks here that love to switch around their rings.
Just some food for thought and my opinion and you know what they say about opinions - everyone has one - lol! I think you need to figure out from all of these scenarios which one of them would make you the happiest and then work toward that goal. Spreading it out over several diamonds might work for you but I somehow feel that you would not be completely satisfied with that solution.
You are a lovely person - and we go way back to early PS days! I hate to see you twisted and torn over your diamond. They are luxuries that cost a lot of money and should bring you happiness - not all this angst. I wish you all the best in finding a solution that works for you and makes you happy. I too have had several diamonds that didn't tick all the boxes. I wanted a super ideal stone for a long time too but like you was too far in to start again and no one took outside trades. When the opportunity arose for a possible trade with WF, I jumped on it and just spent the money. Sometimes easier said than done but for diamond crazies like us sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and make it happen - even if you sacrifice a bit in color, a bit in size or whatever it takes to get you to the place you want to be. Maybe you can call some of the vendors and discuss it with them - I know that Wink can find buyers for some stones. Not sure what WF's position is now on trade ins but it never hurts to ask any of them!

 

[headlight]

Now you're talking!! Why not get them both recut? Make a pendant and a ring! I bet she’d love you wearing them more often.

Would definitely send both for recut!

 

[headlight]

I really like this idea. Maybe put it in a pendent so you don’t have to spend a lot of money on the setting as you upgrade.

Oh... use the starter super ideal as something other than my ring as I work up on size! Now I get it. Duh, sorry for being so lame. That’s a good idea!

 

[headlight]

I see what you mean about the size thing. It would be quite an adjustment to go down much further if you are used to larger stones. However, what I meant was for you to keep your engagement ring as is and buy an ACA or CBI (maybe 1 carat-ish) instead of spending the money you are thinking about for the smaller marquise. That way there is no shock to the system, since you will still have your current beautiful rb on your finger. It may ease your anxiety about not having a super ideal on your left hand, as long as you know you are working your way towards a larger diamond that fits all your needs (and have something tangible to enjoy while you are at it).
I understand the ring setting changes would be too costly due to your issues. I like what @Wewechew said about the pendant. Please forgive me if I'm being too pushy. It just seems like there is the possibility you may never be happy with quicker fixes. I know what it's like to be so hopeful that your perfect ring is done, only to find out it just quite isn't what you hoped for. It would be awful to spend more money on something that may never be mind clean to you.

Everything you have said here is really helpful!!!

 

[headlight]

I think you have been way too harsh on your current stone. I think the further you go, the more you have convinced yourself that it is a subpar stone. You were thrilled with it initially and then you started looking into all of the numbers and your joy turned to disappointment. You are comparing it in your head to numbers and images that you haven't even seen. Truth is there is no way to quantify the look of a super ideal cut stone to the one that you have. You can't say that a super ideal is 20% better - and what would 20% look like? No way to know. You would need to compare it to a 2.01 E ideal cut stone to really know and that's not easy to find either.
As for the marquise stone that you let go, I truly think you have to let it go. The chances of you finding another that looks just like it or as good as it was probably doesn't really exist. Again, you have an image in your head and what if you buy another and are then convinced that it just doesn't look the same? More money spent trying to fix the problem of the 2.1 round. Now you have two problems.
I would concentrate my energies on the current diamond. In a perfect world, you would sell it and buy from a super ideal vendor. I'm guessing that you don't want to go down that road and would have no idea how much you would lose or how much more you would have to pay. So what if you tell the jeweler that you are looking for a stone that would have xyz numbers? It would have to be able to be graded as AGS0. And ask him how much he thinks that would cost. How much would it be if you moved up to the 2.25 range? How much more could you expect to stay if you stayed at the same color/clarity but something in the AGS0 range? Or tell him that you have x amount more money to spend and that is it? I would try to negotiate these things before his trip. It may not be hard and fast numbers but you would have some idea if it was doable for you or not. If not, then you might want to consider buying a smaller super ideal and move up incrementally with it. The earrings could certainly be another option as long as they were candidates for recut and could stay at the 2 carat mark. Would you wear multiple rings if you had them? I wouldn't be that's just me - there are lots of folks here that love to switch around their rings.
Just some food for thought and my opinion and you know what they say about opinions - everyone has one - lol! I think you need to figure out from all of these scenarios which one of them would make you the happiest and then work toward that goal. Spreading it out over several diamonds might work for you but I somehow feel that you would not be completely satisfied with that solution.
You are a lovely person - and we go way back to early PS days! I hate to see you twisted and torn over your diamond. They are luxuries that cost a lot of money and should bring you happiness - not all this angst. I wish you all the best in finding a solution that works for you and makes you happy. I too have had several diamonds that didn't tick all the boxes. I wanted a super ideal stone for a long time too but like you was too far in to start again and no one took outside trades. When the opportunity arose for a possible trade with WF, I jumped on it and just spent the money. Sometimes easier said than done but for diamond crazies like us sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and make it happen - even if you sacrifice a bit in color, a bit in size or whatever it takes to get you to the place you want to be. Maybe you can call some of the vendors and discuss it with them - I know that Wink can find buyers for some stones. Not sure what WF's position is now on trade ins but it never hurts to ask any of them!

Many, many great suggestions and insight. Thank you for being here throughout my journey!!!

 

[MissGotRocks]

Many, many great suggestions and insight. Thank you for being here throughout my journey!!!

I just went back and looked at the initial pictures of your current diamond. It really looks to be a beautiful diamond! I am not sure I have ever heard you say something negative about it in terms of what you see. I think the negatives come from the paper and the numbers. Do you love the diamond when you see it on your hand? Or is there something about it that you see that you don't like?

 

[Rose-gold-or-bust]

I already came down from a 3.29 (9.59mm) that was in an embellished HALO, so massive finger coverage to a 8.01mm 2ct in a soli. So this is as small as I am willing to go. Also, I can't get away with inexpensive mountings because I have a knuckle problem and have to get the special one by CLIQ, so that's like a grand-ish for 14k.
But I do like how you're thinking. Definitely something to consider.
If I get another marquise, I'm going to get it from the person the original one came from as he knows how to source a good one... I'm not even going to involve my jeweler. On that note, I wish I had done the most recent trade with him
SO HERE'S ANOTHER THING I FORGOT...
I have my grandmothers diamond stud earrings... 2.65 ct EACH, yes I said that. They are VS 1 or 2, cannot recall but definitely VS, and G color. They aren't ideal cut as they were fashioned many, many, many years ago. Although they sure sparkle so go figure. Anyhow, since they came from such nice rough, I was thinking I could also get one of those recut to ideal proportions! Thoughts???
Then I could have my sweet 8.01mm E color round, a G, VS ideal recut, and who knows what else!!!

In no way would I ever imagine having an heirloom piece re-cut. I doubt cutting is exact every time - there is no way to guarantee it will come out exactly as you imagine. If it was that easy, every diamond would be cut to perfect proportions.

As for your situation, there is always going to be a better diamond out there. At what point will you be happy? Your current stone sound better than most diamonds out there and the only people who will know there is something better out there are people familiar with super ideals. Buying another marquise isn’t going to make you feel better about this stone. Fancy cuts tend to have worse performance than rounds and your round already sounds great, so buying a fancy may be a huge disappointment if you are used to a sparkly well cut round.

If you are absolutely determined to keep changing stones until you have the best there is to buy, I suggest what a previous person said and to buy a starter cbi and keep upgrading it until it is big enough for a ring.

 

[lydial]

You are sitting on a few pots of gold. If you aren’t attached to the 2.65 ct each earrings you should consider asking Wink at HPD to get a price for you to trade them in and use that cash, and also the new diamond you do not love, to get a killer CBI in your cliq setting and be done with it. You will not profit from this but it may solve the super ideal diamond craving dilemma. You will have the holy grail of perfect diamonds. Maybe this one? (https://www.hpdiamonds.com/en-us/diamonddetail/HPD8065). Or even nicer: (https://www.hpdiamonds.com/en-us/diamonddetail/HPD10171). With HPD even if you decide to sell back later you can always get a fat portion of your original diamond price back. Plus the awesome trade up policy.
There is a reason you traded in your Marquise. Most likely you didn’t love it. You seem like you are having “hindsight is 20/20” feelings but hindsight may actually be a 1 ct Marquise you didn’t love and you are romanticizing for some reason only you know. Fleeting youth? The moment of the proposal?

 

[Starfacet]

SO HERE'S ANOTHER THING I FORGOT...
I have my grandmothers diamond stud earrings... 2.65 ct EACH, yes I said that. They are VS 1 or 2, cannot recall but definitely VS, and G color. They aren't ideal cut as they were fashioned many, many, many years ago. Although they sure sparkle so go figure. Anyhow, since they came from such nice rough, I was thinking I could also get one of those recut to ideal proportions! Thoughts???

My thoughts? I wouldn't touch these at all. Are they certified? Are they Old Europeans or transitional cuts? Those old cuts have their own unique sparkle.
Also, I wasn't going to weigh in on the round diamond debate because I've already said this before, but you need to find a way to get in the CBI loop so you can eventually trade up to a 2 ct super ideal. I don't think you'll ever truly be happy with your current 2 CT E, and buying a marquise is only throwing money at a bad situation and away from your ultimate goal. Get the super ideal situation settled, and you can always get a marquise later.
My two cents.