Advice Needed!

OdetteOdile · Sep 12, 2019

@headlight I am truly sorry that you are feeling all this angst about your new diamond. It really is beautiful and I am sorry that you now feel not as excited about it. I get it, I really do. I personally really like the idea of you getting a starter CBI and working your way up in size. I like this idea because it gives you time to really consider what you want, and in the meantime it will scratch that itch of having the very best. In regards to the original marquise diamond, I think that what you love about it is what it represents. It was the first diamond - your husband gave it to you in the beginning. It was a perfect color. Since then you feel regret about trading it in and feel you have made many mistakes. It is time to forgive yourself. It was just a stone. What matters between you and your husband is still there. We have all made mistakes and done things we regret. Hopefully that is how we learn and grow.

headlight · Sep 13, 2019

MissGotRocks said:
I think you have been way too harsh on your current stone. I think the further you go, the more you have convinced yourself that it is a subpar stone. You were thrilled with it initially and then you started looking into all of the numbers and your joy turned to disappointment. You are comparing it in your head to numbers and images that you haven't even seen. Truth is there is no way to quantify the look of a super ideal cut stone to the one that you have. You can't say that a super ideal is 20% better - and what would 20% look like? No way to know. You would need to compare it to a 2.01 E ideal cut stone to really know and that's not easy to find either.
As for the marquise stone that you let go, I truly think you have to let it go. The chances of you finding another that looks just like it or as good as it was probably doesn't really exist. Again, you have an image in your head and what if you buy another and are then convinced that it just doesn't look the same? More money spent trying to fix the problem of the 2.1 round. Now you have two problems.
I would concentrate my energies on the current diamond. In a perfect world, you would sell it and buy from a super ideal vendor. I'm guessing that you don't want to go down that road and would have no idea how much you would lose or how much more you would have to pay. So what if you tell the jeweler that you are looking for a stone that would have xyz numbers? It would have to be able to be graded as AGS0. And ask him how much he thinks that would cost. How much would it be if you moved up to the 2.25 range? How much more could you expect to stay if you stayed at the same color/clarity but something in the AGS0 range? Or tell him that you have x amount more money to spend and that is it? I would try to negotiate these things before his trip. It may not be hard and fast numbers but you would have some idea if it was doable for you or not. If not, then you might want to consider buying a smaller super ideal and move up incrementally with it. The earrings could certainly be another option as long as they were candidates for recut and could stay at the 2 carat mark. Would you wear multiple rings if you had them? I wouldn't be that's just me - there are lots of folks here that love to switch around their rings.
Just some food for thought and my opinion and you know what they say about opinions - everyone has one - lol! I think you need to figure out from all of these scenarios which one of them would make you the happiest and then work toward that goal. Spreading it out over several diamonds might work for you but I somehow feel that you would not be completely satisfied with that solution.
You are a lovely person - and we go way back to early PS days! I hate to see you twisted and torn over your diamond. They are luxuries that cost a lot of money and should bring you happiness - not all this angst. I wish you all the best in finding a solution that works for you and makes you happy. I too have had several diamonds that didn't tick all the boxes. I wanted a super ideal stone for a long time too but like you was too far in to start again and no one took outside trades. When the opportunity arose for a possible trade with WF, I jumped on it and just spent the money. Sometimes easier said than done but for diamond crazies like us sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and make it happen - even if you sacrifice a bit in color, a bit in size or whatever it takes to get you to the place you want to be. Maybe you can call some of the vendors and discuss it with them - I know that Wink can find buyers for some stones. Not sure what WF's position is now on trade ins but it never hurts to ask any of them!

It’s interesting what you said about how much percent improvement would I get... which is what I think the jeweler was trying to say (given he could easily up-sell me but didn’t). Also, you mentioned about finding a 2ct E ideal not being easy which was something he said also said at the time.

headlight · Sep 13, 2019

OdetteOdile said:
@headlight I am truly sorry that you are feeling all this angst about your new diamond. It really is beautiful and I am sorry that you now feel not as excited about it. I get it, I really do. I personally really like the idea of you getting a starter CBI and working your way up in size. I like this idea because it gives you time to really consider what you want, and in the meantime it will scratch that itch of having the very best. In regards to the original marquise diamond, I think that what you love about it is what it represents. It was the first diamond - your husband gave it to you in the beginning. It was a perfect color. Since then you feel regret about trading it in and feel you have made many mistakes. It is time to forgive yourself. It was just a stone. What matters between you and your husband is still there. We have all made mistakes and done things we regret. Hopefully that is how we learn and grow.

Thank you so much! I really need to start LISTENING because you all have said basically the same thing!!!

headlight · Sep 13, 2019

Starfacet said:
My thoughts? I wouldn't touch these at all. Are they certified? Are they Old Europeans or transitional cuts? Those old cuts have their own unique sparkle.
Also, I wasn't going to weigh in on the round diamond debate because I've already said this before, but you need to find a way to get in the CBI loop so you can eventually trade up to a 2 ct super ideal. I don't think you'll ever truly be happy with your current 2 CT E, and buying a marquise is only throwing money at a bad situation and away from your ultimate goal. Get the super ideal situation settled, and you can always get a marquise later.
My two cents.

I do get the concept of the throwing money at a bad situation... that did cross my mind!

headlight · Sep 13, 2019

lydial said:
You are sitting on a few pots of gold. If you aren’t attached to the 2.65 ct each earrings you should consider asking Wink at HPD to get a price for you to trade them in and use that cash, and also the new diamond you do not love, to get a killer CBI in your cliq setting and be done with it. You will not profit from this but it may solve the super ideal diamond craving dilemma. You will have the holy grail of perfect diamonds. Maybe this one? (https://www.hpdiamonds.com/en-us/diamonddetail/HPD8065). Or even nicer: (https://www.hpdiamonds.com/en-us/diamonddetail/HPD10171). With HPD even if you decide to sell back later you can always get a fat portion of your original diamond price back. Plus the awesome trade up policy.
There is a reason you traded in your Marquise. Most likely you didn’t love it. You seem like you are having “hindsight is 20/20” feelings but hindsight may actually be a 1 ct Marquise you didn’t love and you are romanticizing for some reason only you know. Fleeting youth? The moment of the proposal?

Food for thought!!!! Clearly I’m a bit melancholy... never looked at it the way you framed it.

headlight · Sep 13, 2019

Rose-gold-or-bust said:
In no way would I ever imagine having an heirloom piece re-cut. I doubt cutting is exact every time - there is no way to guarantee it will come out exactly as you imagine. If it was that easy, every diamond would be cut to perfect proportions.

As for your situation, there is always going to be a better diamond out there. At what point will you be happy? Your current stone sound better than most diamonds out there and the only people who will know there is something better out there are people familiar with super ideals. Buying another marquise isn’t going to make you feel better about this stone. Fancy cuts tend to have worse performance than rounds and your round already sounds great, so buying a fancy may be a huge disappointment if you are used to a sparkly well cut round.

If you are absolutely determined to keep changing stones until you have the best there is to buy, I suggest what a previous person said and to buy a starter cbi and keep upgrading it until it is big enough for a ring.

You are spot on... this is why I put this out to everyone! Thank you!

headlight · Sep 13, 2019

MissGotRocks said:
I just went back and looked at the initial pictures of your current diamond. It really looks to be a beautiful diamond! I am not sure I have ever heard you say something negative about it in terms of what you see. I think the negatives come from the paper and the numbers. Do you love the diamond when you see it on your hand? Or is there something about it that you see that you don't like?

Definitely knowing the #s aren’t all where they should be plays a role. When it is really clean (I.e., ultra sonic and steamed) I love it the most. This makes me go back to thinking there needs to be more space under the pavilion. A good # of lighting situations it’s very pretty.

Dancing Fire · Sep 13, 2019

lydial said:
Or even nicer: (https://www.hpdiamonds.com/en-us/diamonddetail/HPD10171).

Yes!

headlight · Sep 13, 2019

Dancing Fire said:
Yes!

That is like the perfect diamond!!!

Dancing Fire · Sep 13, 2019

headlight said:
That is like the perfect diamond!!!

Then put it on hold!

headlight · Sep 13, 2019

Dancing Fire said:
Then put it on hold!

And give my husband heart failure??!!!

Dancing Fire · Sep 13, 2019

headlight said:
And give my husband heart failure??!!!

Here's what you tell your husband...
"Either you upgrade my diamond or I'll upgrade the husband"

. The choice is up to you.

headlight · Sep 13, 2019

Dancing Fire said:
Here's what you tell your husband...
"Either you upgrade my diamond or I'll upgrade the husband". The choice is up to you.

I think that after 4 diamonds and 7 mountings over the past 30 years, he may not be so opposed to someone else buying the next ring LOL!!!!

Starfacet · Sep 13, 2019

Dancing Fire said:
Then put it on hold!

@headlight, have you talked to anyone at High Performance Diamonds about a trade up? If you did trade up all 3 diamonds including your 2.65 each studs, you might get very close to covering the cost of a new stone. Are you open to an F or a G color? Sounds like you have lots of options.

MMtwo · Sep 13, 2019

Dear Headlight. I can empathize with your current thoughts. So many good replies here.
The earrings in trade might be a start on the CBI, but I wonder if they hold sentimental value that might catch you in hindsight?

Would it be possible for you to visit a nearby vendor who carries CBI diamonds so you can compare your present stone? It might give a perspective on how much performance you will gain. Would it be slight or significant? If your stone is already pretty great, you may decide this journey isn't necessary, or it may convince you that it is justified.

I wish you well in your quest for the best sparkles, a happy husband and emotional peace!

Starfacet · Sep 13, 2019

This will be a beauty.
https://www.hpdiamonds.com/en-us/diamonddetail/HPD10828

headlight · Sep 13, 2019

Starfacet said:
@headlight, have you talked to anyone at High Performance Diamonds about a trade up? If you did trade up all 3 diamonds including your 2.65 each studs, you might get very close to covering the cost of a new stone. Are you open to an F or a G color? Sounds like you have lots of options.

No, I have not. The cost is a lot, I had no idea. I possibly would be open to F. Also, while of course I would love a VS, I’m fine with an SI. Where do you find their listings?... I couldn’t find them. The one that was suggested, $50K, there’s no way I would spend that on a diamond in the size I want. I don’t need it to go over 2ct, and I would take even an SI2, so I don’t know how much we’d be looking at. But at 50k, I just don’t feel it’s necessary for me to spend that much. And I would really have to think hard about using all 2 stones as trades to make it happen... that’s a really tough call.
So that brings me back to seeing in my jeweler can find something a little better than what I have now which maybe would cost a couple grand more, not anything like the cost of a CBI.

headlight · Sep 13, 2019

moneymeister said:
Dear Headlight. I can empathize with your current thoughts. So many good replies here.
The earrings in trade might be a start on the CBI, but I wonder if they hold sentimental value that might catch you in hindsight?

Would it be possible for you to visit a nearby vendor who carries CBI diamonds so you can compare your present stone? It might give a perspective on how much performance you will gain. Would it be slight or significant? If your stone is already pretty great, you may decide this journey isn't necessary, or it may convince you that it is justified.

I wish you well in your quest for the best sparkles, a happy husband and emotional peace!

THANK YOU!... I should pursue seeing them but then again that may bring more angst!
Yes, there is the sentimental issue over the earrings which I’m sure is partly why I haven’t done anything with them yet, even though I don’t wear them as they are just too big for me.

headlight · Sep 13, 2019

Starfacet said:
This will be a beauty.
https://www.hpdiamonds.com/en-us/diamonddetail/HPD10828

5k less than the previous....

headlight · Sep 13, 2019

I need to see where I saw a listing for an SI and find out the price.

Wewechew · Sep 13, 2019

$28k. It's an F, but you have to compromise somewhere. I really suggest you don't compromise on cut again since that's your biggest hang up with your E.

https://www.hpdiamonds.com/en-us/diamonddetail/HPD10832

ETA- and PLEASE do not trade in your heirloom stones. I am afraid you would really regret it.

Tekate · Sep 13, 2019

IF the stones are OECs then I hope you don't recut them... of course it is up to you and I too want you to be happy.. I have never been happy with any jewelry till I bought my 2.95 ACA SI1 I color, I love this stone and I still love it months later and that is because I got my holy grail stone

headlight said:
I already came down from a 3.29 (9.59mm) that was in an embellished HALO, so massive finger coverage to a 8.01mm 2ct in a soli. So this is as small as I am willing to go. Also, I can't get away with inexpensive mountings because I have a knuckle problem and have to get the special one by CLIQ, so that's like a grand-ish for 14k.
But I do like how you're thinking. Definitely something to consider.
If I get another marquise, I'm going to get it from the person the original one came from as he knows how to source a good one... I'm not even going to involve my jeweler. On that note, I wish I had done the most recent trade with him
SO HERE'S ANOTHER THING I FORGOT...
I have my grandmothers diamond stud earrings... 2.65 ct EACH, yes I said that. They are VS 1 or 2, cannot recall but definitely VS, and G color. They aren't ideal cut as they were fashioned many, many, many years ago. Although they sure sparkle so go figure. Anyhow, since they came from such nice rough, I was thinking I could also get one of those recut to ideal proportions! Thoughts???
Then I could have my sweet 8.01mm E color round, a G, VS ideal recut, and who knows what else!!!

Wewechew · Sep 13, 2019

Wewechew said:
$28k. It's an F, but you have to compromise somewhere. I really suggest you don't compromise on cut again since that's your biggest hang up with your E.

https://www.hpdiamonds.com/en-us/diamonddetail/HPD10832

https://www.hpdiamonds.com/en-us/diamonddetail/HPD10832
And again- if this doesn't fit your budget- starter super ideal.

Rose-gold-or-bust · Sep 13, 2019

Wewechew said:
$28k. It's an F, but you have to compromise somewhere. I really suggest you don't compromise on cut again since that's your biggest hang up with your E.

https://www.hpdiamonds.com/en-us/diamonddetail/HPD10832

ETA- and PLEASE do not trade in your heirloom stones. I am afraid you would really regret it.

She has stated in a few places that she can’t go with anything lower than an E. Im guessing one of her previous stones as less than an E and she upgraded the color, so I don’t think she wants to to go back

junebug17 · Sep 13, 2019

@headlight, your idea of recutting one of the heirloom diamonds is intriguing. My only thought is it might not be able to be cut to super ideal proportions. I think it depends on the current dimensions of the diamond, so the stone would have to be evaluated first. I'm sure the numbers could be improved, just not sure by how much. Someone more knowledgeable please correct me if I'm wrong. But it's certainly an option you could explore.

And Idk, if it was me, I'm not sure I'd want to mess with family heirlooms, or trade them in. I'm just genuinely curious, are the diamond old cuts or round brilliants? I also think you should wear those babies LOL. Maybe reset into dangles?

Again, if it was me I think I would start by working with the current jeweler and have him find you a stone with better numbers. It just seems like the easiest thing at this point. I don't think I'd pursue the marquise...unless you truly feel it would make you happy. I just think you'd still be bummed out by your current round.

You have several options...imo there is no right or wrong, it just depends on how YOU feel, and what you think will make you happy and content in the long run. Good luck with your decision!

headlight · Sep 13, 2019

I think this is the one I saw listed. The price is good... it’s about what the trade value would be

Wewechew said:
And again- if this doesn't fit your budget- starter super ideal.[/QUOTE

headlight · Sep 13, 2019

Rose-gold-or-bust said:
She has stated in a few places that she can’t go with anything lower than an E. Im guessing one of her previous stones as less than an E and she upgraded the color, so I don’t think she wants to to go back

I think the F in a CBI would be pretty spectacular- I would have to check my “E” ego
at the door lol!

Wewechew · Sep 13, 2019

headlight said:
I think the F in a CBI would be pretty spectacular- I would have to check my “E” ego
at the door lol!

You can always upgrade to an E in a year or two. That's the beauty of getting in with WF or HPD

headlight · Sep 13, 2019

junebug17 said:
@headlight, your idea of recutting one of the heirloom diamonds is intriguing. My only thought is it might not be able to be cut to super ideal proportions. I think it depends on the current dimensions of the diamond, so the stone would have to be evaluated first. I'm sure the numbers could be improved, just not sure by how much. Someone more knowledgeable please correct me if I'm wrong. But it's certainly an option you could explore.

And Idk, if it was me, I'm not sure I'd want to mess with family heirlooms, or trade them in. I'm just genuinely curious, are the diamond old cuts or round brilliants? I also think you should wear those babies LOL. Maybe reset into dangles?

Again, if it was me I think I would start by working with the current jeweler and have him find you a stone with better numbers. It just seems like the easiest thing at this point. I don't think I'd pursue the marquise...unless you truly feel it would make you happy. I just think you'd still be bummed out by your current round.

You have several options...imo there is no right or wrong, it just depends on how YOU feel, and what you think will make you happy and content in the long run. Good luck with your decision!

Yes, there’s the heirloom issue. But if I recut but KEPT them then I still have them, I would just be improving them. They are RB. I have done a recut before with my previous diamond so I know the drill: have them unmounted, make sure the insurance covers accidental breakage caused by a recut, if not get on with jewelers mutual because they do, send them off for evaluation, and so on, etc!
They are massive and I have little ears. I’m a “petite” stature... when I look back at photos of my former 3.29 (9.59mm) with a heavy halo I see how absolutely ridiculous I looked! I guess I must’ve had body dysmorphic disorder!
Yes, I know... will anything make me happy about the current round ultimately - except the color, I get a little bounce in my step when I see it!
I do think it’s worth having my jeweler check our other options... and it doesn’t necessarily have to be on his Antwerp trip... he can source from anywhere he sources at any time.
I will say that I have done much online searches myself for 2ct E SI 1/2 and they either have HORRIBLE specs or strong blue Fl, or the table filled with inclusions, and I don’t know if they are black... my inclusions are transparent or I guess white? And only 1 on table, the rest on bezel facets, etc. and I don’t have clouds or cavities or any of the other to steer clear of... I just have pinpoints, needles, and crystal and a natural so that’s a blemish, it’s not indented. And no painting nor digging. So all that are definitely pluses as far as this one goes.

headlight · Sep 13, 2019

Wewechew said:
You can always upgrade to an E in a year or two. That's the beauty of getting in with WF or HPD

True... but I’m getting “tired” on all this changing!!!
You mentioned WF... most have mentioned HPS... is that because WF might not take in trades?

Advice Needed!

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