Wedding 5/7 to 5/14 BWW weight loss thread.

[SarahLovesJS]

sumbride, I haven''t heard of that program, but it sounds really interesting! I hope someone else knows more about it.

I wanted to say hey everybody the PS dust must have worked because I got the summer job yaaay!

 

[Loves Vintage]

Date: 5/8/2008 4:28:15 PM
Author: sumbride
So I just found a book/program/website that seems to address emotional eating and how to deal with it... it''s called Shrink Yourself. Anybody heard of it? Tried it? There''s a 12 week online program for $120 that is supposed to guide you through the process of recognizing what your issues are and how to deal with them. I''m not sure if it''s worth it yet or not, but that''s the one aspect of dieting I''ve never really dealt with and it is always my downfall.

Hi sumbride - That does sound like a lot of money, and a lot of people make a lot of promises related to helping people lose weight because so many people need to. Maybe you can find a book in your local library to help you explore emotional eating issues? Maybe you can research this program on-line and see if you can find third party reviews of the program to see if it''s worth it.

I don''t know anything about the program, so I am not commenting on it specifically, but there are tons of people out there looking to make money off of you and me and everyone else who is looking for help along the way to weight loss. Just be careful.

 

[Loves Vintage]

Date: 5/8/2008 5:20:44 PM
Author: SarahLovesJS
sumbride, I haven''t heard of that program, but it sounds really interesting! I hope someone else knows more about it.

I wanted to say hey everybody the PS dust must have worked because I got the summer job yaaay!

Congratulations Sarah!!!

That''s great news!!

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Date: 5/8/2008 5:25:56 PM
Author: Loves Vintage

Date: 5/8/2008 5:20:44 PM

Author: SarahLovesJS

sumbride, I haven''t heard of that program, but it sounds really interesting! I hope someone else knows more about it.


I wanted to say hey everybody the PS dust must have worked because I got the summer job yaaay!

Congratulations Sarah!!!

That''s great news!!

Ty, woooohoo PS dust!

 

[zoebartlett]

Glad to hear people are doing well. Sumbride -- I''ll have to look into that program you mentioned.

It''s much easier for me to drink room temp. water also. I have no problem downing a tall glass quickly, and my FI makes fun of me every time I do it. I can''t say that I always drink the recommended amount but it''s what I mostly drink. On the waterdront, I think I''m good.

Okay, so this week, food wise, has not been that great, to be honest. Last night we had spaghetti and meatballs (premade meatballs). We stick to whole wheat pasta most of the time, but I wanted to finish up a box of the regular kind, so I mixed the two. It was tasty! I used "veggie topping," which is just fake parmesan cheese, and it was pretty good. We always have that on hand. I didn''t have dessert last night, which is a rarity. So yay for that.

I just typed out what I had today for breakfast and lunch and then I erased it -- it''s NOT GOOD. Let''s just say that they involved a blueberry poptart and mac and cheese. There. I said it. Tonight we''re having leftover pasta, but I''ll have a little bit. I''d have a salad to go with it but we''re out of salad stuff. Maybe I''ll ask my FI to stop at the store on the way home.

This weekend I''m planning on going to the movies with a friend, and we''re also going to go out for Indian food. Any healthy recommendations? I love chicken masala and I always ask that they go light on the cream in the sauce. Anything else I should try? I don''t like plain tandoori chicken because it''s SO dry. I''ll try anything else though.

I''ll also drag my behind to the gym this weekend. How do you make yourself go during the week? Once I''m home from school, I turn into a hermit and it''s impossible to get me to go out (unless it''s out to eat

). I''ve even tried packing my gym bag and going right from school but I find every excuse in the book not to go. Usually, it''s that a)I''m too tired or b) I don''t have time. Going at night doesn''t seem to work for me either. What to do, what to do...

 

[AmberGretchen]

sumbride - I''d try something free first, like sparkpeople, and maybe the book "Intuitive Eating" - it gets rave reviews from everyone I know who has read it, and I think it might really help with emotional eating issues.

For sum and for everyone else, I had one more thought I wanted to add. And that is that for normal eating and especially for losing weight, its important to be comfortable with being hungry. And I''m not talking about starving yourself AT ALL. But this was one thing that was hard for me to learn - its not just OK, but its good to be hungry before a meal or snack. You shouldn''t often feel totally ravenous, but you should have a good, solid, empty-tummy feeling hunger when its time to eat. If you don''t, maybe (except for breakfast) its not time to eat yet. Then when you do eat, pay attention to how soon you''re not hungry anymore.

Zoe - I think its great that you are writing here what you''ve eaten. If I could (humbly) make a suggestion - maybe try tracking what you''re eating on sparkpeople or a similar format (or just in a food journal) and make an agreement with yourself that whatever it is, you won''t feel guilty about it. Food isn''t a reflection of who you are as a person, food is fuel for your body, some of it good fuel, some of it not as good. But if you track what you''re eating and how you feel physically before and after you''ve eaten it, that might help to sort of why you''re eating those things that you don''t feel good about and how they make your body feel. For example, were you eating them because that''s what was around? Then maybe keep some healthier options around. Did you eat them because you were really craving that particular food? If so, could you have been satisfied with a small portion of whatever the unhealthy option was and a large portion of something healthier (for example, small serving of mac ''n cheese with a big pile of veggies with your favorite seasoning - eat the veggies first and you won''t feel like you need a ton of mac ''n cheese to be full). I''d be willing to bet that these kinds of things might help you feel better physically and emotionally. But in any case I commend you for being brave enough to share here. I hope my advice is helpful - please know that it is meant kindly and comes from a place of compassion, having spend a huge amount of time in my life obsessing over food and weight and all things related.

 

[AmberGretchen]

Oh! and for making it to the gym during the week - its tough, and honestly, there are times I don''t go. Things that I''ve found that help:

1. a gym partner. This is really fantastic but can be tough to find.

2. "bribing" myself - I''ll put fun new songs on my iPod or buy a fun magazine, but I can''t listen to the music except at the gym, or look at the magazine unless I''ve worked out (or while working out!). My gym also has TVs on the cardio machines and I watch super-junky TV sometimes, just because I can.

3. rewarding yourself - make a deal with yourself - if I go to the gym three times this week and next week, I can buy a new pair of shoes, or a great purse, or whatever your "thing" is.

4. writing it into my schedule ahead of time - as much as possible, I try to write it in my planner so I have the time already carved out, and that helps.

 

[zoebartlett]

AmberGretchen -- thank you so much for taking the time to write so much helpful information! I don''t mind the suggestion to use sparkpeople at all. I keep hearing about it here but I just forget to check it out. I will do so later today. As for whether I was craving the poptart I had for breakfast, no, not at all. I''m a teacher and I try to have snacks (usually crackers) around for my kids if they forget to bring a snack. Buying the poptarts was an impulse buy -- I don''t even like them but it''s what was there at the time. I usually have cereal at home before leaving but I didn''t have time. Now, the mac and cheese, I was totally craving. Our school lunch staff works wonders in our kitchen, and the mac and cheese is always homemade and delish. The portion wasn''t a large one, so although it definitely wasn''t the healthiest option, I do feel good knowing that I wasn''t eating a lot of it.

Thanks for the tips on going to the gym during the week. I know I make excuses and there''s really no reason not to go. Plus, it''s 5 minutes away from me, on the same road even. I used to work with a trainer but it was so expensive. Maybe I''ll look into that again.

Okay, so my goals for the weekend are to get to the gym and do 30 minutes on the treadmill or maybe 20 minutes on the treadmill and some amount of time using the weight machines. It''s a small goal but considering I haven''t gone in a while, I''ll take anything at this point. Who knows, once I get started, I may surprise myself and stay longer.

 

[zoebartlett]

I forgot to ask others, if you live with your BF or FI, how much of a motivating influence are they?

That''s one of my hardest things to deal with at times. My FI is also overwight, and although he''s had lots of success in the past, he''s fallen off the wagon over the past few years. There was a period of time when he had lost 100 pounds (before we met) and he was doing really well. The gym was his second home and focusing on his weight loss was his second job, basically. Right around the same time we met, he had just begun to put the weight back on. Fast forward to five years later, and he''s now gained much of the weight back.

We try to motivate each other but it''s not easy and we often find ourselves getting frustrated with each other. My FI keeps saying that he knows how to lose weight and he could probably teach nutritionists a few things, but then he makes poor choices. I get frustrated because to me, it''s like, "well then, lead by example and show me how you lost the weight years ago." The whole ''practice what you preach'' thing escapes him.

Sorry if this turned out to be a vent. It feels good getting it written out though.

I guess I just need to do things for myself and not worry about how he can or can''t help.

 

[sumbride]

Congrats on the job Sarah!

Yeah, I don''t think I''m going to dish out the cash for the online program, but I did buy the $14 book at Borders last night. It does get rave reviews (doesn''t every diet book at some point?) and I think it will be a worthwhile read. It''s not about dieting or a diet, in that it doesn''t list foods to eat or not eat, doesn''t deal with that... just talks about emotional triggers and how to recognize the differences between emotional and physical hunger and how to cope with feelings without food. I wrote before about how I was raised to suppress painful feelings, and I''ve become aware in the last few years that I really need to deal with those emotions in a healthy way. Anyway, I''ll let you know what I think of the book when I get into it.

Sparkpeople is great and I really like the motivating aspects of it, but it also tends to be a little bit too food-focused for me... I know WHAT to eat and that I need to exercise, but knowing and doing are very separate things... as Zoe said about her FI. Sure, he knows what to do, but he isn''t doing it. Why? That''s the root of it.

And Zoe - Living with my DH for almost 3 years now has been both a positive and a negative influence on me. It''s harder to binge because that''s something better done in private and we don''t have a lot of privacy, but its easier to justify things like ordering pizza and Chinese food. Plus if he decides he wants ice cream, I eat it too... or if he''s dishing up the plates for dinner, he has no concept of portion sizes. I''ve tried to work on that, but it''s a struggle. Just because the hamburger meat comes in a 1 pound package doesn''t mean a half pound is a serving. We could make 4 burgers out of that, not just 2. Things like that... he''s not used to leftovers. He''s also very supportive of wanting to work out, but if I decide I don''t want to go the gym, he says "ok" a little too fast....

 

[Courtneylub]

I have a hard time drinking regular water, but I notice how much better I feel when I do. I drank the flavored water for a long time and would drink tea with Splenda at lunch. Now that I only drink plain water, I feel full quicker and just healthier overall. I can''t drink really cold water when I''m working at my desk, so I get room temp and I end up drinking a lot more of it.

I haven''t been posting when I''ve eaten, but it''s been so-so this week. My problem was the 5 beers on Wednesday night at our volleyball league. This made me hungry all day yesterday. At least I spaced it out and snacked. My dinner was a small portion also and I didn''t eat past 7:15.

Today will be my 3rd day of swimming this week. I actually got my hair wet on Wednesday and it was sooo nice! I did freestyle, backstroke, breast stroke the right way. I''m really going to try and make time to do this at least a couple of times a week. It''s difficult to squeeze in a good 30 minute workout, wash my hair, semi-blow dry it, etc. I only have an hour lunch! I can''t go before or after work because I carpool and I don''t live by the office.

 

[pichuchy21]

Hi Ladies I hope you don''t mind if I join in on this thread. I am getting married in less than 2 months and I am so sad because I am having such a hard time losing weight.

I have been working out at the gym since December and even though everyone says I look like I have lost a lot of weight I still feel huge! and the scale doesn''t show it. My cloths fits better, but I just feel like all my hard work isn''t paying off. I eat pretty healthy since my fiancee is super fit and eats really healthy I try to do the same. I go to the gym atleast 4 times a week. I don''t know what else to do. Are my workouts just not intensive enough? I don''t know. This is all very discouraging for me.

 

[Laurenj915]

Date: 5/8/2008 11:22:15 PM
Author: AmberGretchen
Oh! and for making it to the gym during the week - its tough, and honestly, there are times I don''t go. Things that I''ve found that help:


1. a gym partner. This is really fantastic but can be tough to find.


2. ''bribing'' myself - I''ll put fun new songs on my iPod or buy a fun magazine, but I can''t listen to the music except at the gym, or look at the magazine unless I''ve worked out (or while working out!). My gym also has TVs on the cardio machines and I watch super-junky TV sometimes, just because I can.


3. rewarding yourself - make a deal with yourself - if I go to the gym three times this week and next week, I can buy a new pair of shoes, or a great purse, or whatever your ''thing'' is.


4. writing it into my schedule ahead of time - as much as possible, I try to write it in my planner so I have the time already carved out, and that helps.

I like those ideas.

What also works for me is going in the morning before work. Lots of days things come up in the evening or afternoon and that is a reason or excuse not to go. Nothing ever comes up at 5 am when I wake up to go to the gym. It took a solid 2 weeks of getting up and going before I got used to it and I wasn''t dragging myself but now I feel better all day. I workout Monday through Friday without interuption. I sleep better at night. And if I am super motivated or not thrilled with my food choices that day I can follow up my am workout with a short 30 minute afternoon workout.

 

[Courtneylub]

Oh and congrats, Sarah!!!!!

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Thank you!! ((Hugs)) Morning everyone, hey I am up during the morning! Just wanted to check in and say hi. I broke my weeks of no caffeine last night chugging diet pepsi maxes while I studied, oopsie. So far no panic issues, so that''s good. I am going to try to stick to diet coke or juicy juice until my exam though. Anyway, I am off to study again! I think I lost another lb, well I know I did, but I am not sure if it''s a fluctuation or actual. So we''ll see. I am going to try to eat decently today. Think I''ll start with cereal and an apple. Ahhhhh I am almost done! I look forward to coming back to PS tonight and having some fun.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 5/9/2008 9:31:42 AM
Author: pichuchy21
Hi Ladies I hope you don't mind if I join in on this thread. I am getting married in less than 2 months and I am so sad because I am having such a hard time losing weight.

I have been working out at the gym since December and even though everyone says I look like I have lost a lot of weight I still feel huge! and the scale doesn't show it. My cloths fits better, but I just feel like all my hard work isn't paying off. I eat pretty healthy since my fiancee is super fit and eats really healthy I try to do the same. I go to the gym atleast 4 times a week. I don't know what else to do. Are my workouts just not intensive enough? I don't know. This is all very discouraging for me.

I went through something similar and I was told by someone at my gym that fat gets converted into muscle and weighs about the same, so you can be smaller than you were but still weigh the same. That could be why the scale isn't showing it, but people are noticing you look different and your clothes are fitting better. Sounds like you are making progress, so keep it up!

ETA: Congrats on the summer job, Sarah!

I didn't have any breakfast this morning because I didn't have anything to eat and was busy working (not good). I had a bit of pasta for lunch with lots of water. Am still getting back to eating normal foods again, after having stomach problems for 2 weeks.

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Date: 5/9/2008 10:22:00 AM
Author: gwendolyn

Date: 5/9/2008 9:31:42 AM

Author: pichuchy21

Hi Ladies I hope you don't mind if I join in on this thread. I am getting married in less than 2 months and I am so sad because I am having such a hard time losing weight.

I have been working out at the gym since December and even though everyone says I look like I have lost a lot of weight I still feel huge! and the scale doesn't show it. My cloths fits better, but I just feel like all my hard work isn't paying off. I eat pretty healthy since my fiancee is super fit and eats really healthy I try to do the same. I go to the gym atleast 4 times a week. I don't know what else to do. Are my workouts just not intensive enough? I don't know. This is all very discouraging for me.

I went through something similar and I was told by someone at my gym that fat gets converted into muscle and weighs about the same, so you can be smaller than you were but still weigh the same. That could be why the scale isn't showing it, but people are noticing you look different and your clothes are fitting better. Sounds like you are making progress, so keep it up!

Ditto! My Mom was also having issues with this. She was so frustrated, and when she went to the doctor he told her the same thing. It just takes time sometimes.

Don't worry about weight as much as inches/shape. You might want to try to vary your workouts if you don't, but it sounds like you are doing great!

If other people are noticing, then you've definitely made progress!

ETA: Thank you Gwendolyn! Do you usually go by Gwen or Gwendolyn? Sigh I know what you mean about breakfast, I am just not hungry! Ugh. And busy of course. All right I am really leaving now.

 

[pichuchy21]

gwendolyn-thats the same thing my fiancee told me and I read it in a book that muscle weighs more than fat. Which could very well be the reason the scale isn''t showing it. I''m really going to turn up the heat at the gym for the next month. I just want to fit comfortably into my dress. Just FYI if anyone is interested I picked up this book at Books a million called 28 day body shapeover. Its a really good book because it have a 6 day a week workout plan alternating between cardio one day and weights the following day. It also has meal ideas in it. Its a good book very informative.

 

[AmberGretchen]

Date: 5/9/2008 9:31:42 AM
Author: pichuchy21
Hi Ladies I hope you don''t mind if I join in on this thread. I am getting married in less than 2 months and I am so sad because I am having such a hard time losing weight.

I have been working out at the gym since December and even though everyone says I look like I have lost a lot of weight I still feel huge! and the scale doesn''t show it. My cloths fits better, but I just feel like all my hard work isn''t paying off. I eat pretty healthy since my fiancee is super fit and eats really healthy I try to do the same. I go to the gym atleast 4 times a week. I don''t know what else to do. Are my workouts just not intensive enough? I don''t know. This is all very discouraging for me.

Ditto the other ladies about possibly losing inches. A simple tailor''s measuring tape (like $1 at the drugstore or crafts store) could help you keep track of this.

But its also important to keep in mind (and this is actually for everyone) what the doctors who work in my lab with me told me - actual weight loss is about 90% diet. This is because, unless you are running 20 miles a day, its really hard to actually burn enough calories exercising to really create a deficit. Additionally, most people eat more naturally to make up for their extra exercise unless they are keeping track of (or just not changing at all) what they are eating. So something to think about - maybe try a food journal for a week or so and see if you are maybe taking in more calories than you realize. Its very possible to do this even with healthy foods (I always ate almost entirely healthy foods and yet still managed to be 45 lbs overweight - I''ve now lost 50, but I had to pay attention to portions and overall intake).

Now, this is not to say AT ALL that one shouldn''t exercise - it has a myriad of health benefits including stress relief and cardiovascular health. Additionally, if you just lose weight with no exercise at all, you will lose a lot of muscle and so you might get to your goal weight and discover that it doesn''t really look like what you want it to look like.

I''ve been hovering around my "second goal" weight for a while now (hit my first goal, then dropped 10 more), and honestly I''m not happy with how that looks unless I do enough exercise to maintain some muscle tone.

Anyway, just an interesting bit of information to keep in mind.

 

[star sparkle]

I don''t even have a date for my wedding yet (will be sometime next fall), but I''m really frustrated because I''ve been exercising and working out a LOT over the past 2 months and I''ve actually GAINED weight. I know muscle weighs more than fat and whatnot, but it makes me feel so crappy to think that all of this work I''ve done has resulted in a 5-7 pound gain rather than loss.

I know I''m not eating what I should be, so I''m sure that''s part of it, but still. And I''m starting to stress out because I''m leaving the state in just over a week for 5 months and I''m probably only going to see FI once the entire time I''m gone, so that leads to emotional eating.

 

[AmberGretchen]

Date: 5/9/2008 6:42:30 AM
Author: ZoeBartlett
I forgot to ask others, if you live with your BF or FI, how much of a motivating influence are they?


That''s one of my hardest things to deal with at times. My FI is also overwight, and although he''s had lots of success in the past, he''s fallen off the wagon over the past few years. There was a period of time when he had lost 100 pounds (before we met) and he was doing really well. The gym was his second home and focusing on his weight loss was his second job, basically. Right around the same time we met, he had just begun to put the weight back on. Fast forward to five years later, and he''s now gained much of the weight back.


We try to motivate each other but it''s not easy and we often find ourselves getting frustrated with each other. My FI keeps saying that he knows how to lose weight and he could probably teach nutritionists a few things, but then he makes poor choices. I get frustrated because to me, it''s like, ''well then, lead by example and show me how you lost the weight years ago.'' The whole ''practice what you preach'' thing escapes him.


Sorry if this turned out to be a vent. It feels good getting it written out though.


I guess I just need to do things for myself and not worry about how he can or can''t help.

Zoe I think you are being really insightful about all of this and that''s an important first step. I definitely get the idea of knowing what to do but not doing it, and I do think that often emotional issues are tied into that pretty strongly.

But I would really encourage you to go ahead and do what you need to do for yourself, and don''t worry about how your FI will or won''t help. While I''m a HUGE advocate of marriage as a lifelong partnership and team effort, this is a decision that each person has to make on their own. Its good to know though, that sometimes doing what you need to do for yourself can inspire your partner - my DH didn''t really have a TON of weight to lose, but he had gone from a really lean (like 8% body fat bodydbuilder lean) physique during college to having a bit of a gut. It took a while after I started (almost a year), but eventually he started making changes as well, and he''s lost 25 lbs and is now back to his college weight too - we are both within 5 lbs of where we were when we started dating junior year

 

[pichuchy21]

star sparkle-the same thing happend to me when I started working out. I put on 5 lbs instead of losing, but I think it was just muscle weight. Do you feel like you are losing weight like does you cloths fit better, etc. because if it does keep going. You are doing something right. Thats kinda what keeps me going even though the scale really isnt showing that I''ve lost as much.
AmberGretchen-thank you for the advice. That could be what is preventing me from losing more weight the fact that I am not really dieting. I''m going to try the food journal thing. I eliminated bread and rice from my meals as of last week so hopefully this helps as well.

 

[Gypsy]

Date: 5/8/2008 5:25:56 PM
Author: Loves Vintage

Date: 5/8/2008 5:20:44 PM
Author: SarahLovesJS
sumbride, I haven''t heard of that program, but it sounds really interesting! I hope someone else knows more about it.

I wanted to say hey everybody the PS dust must have worked because I got the summer job yaaay!

Congratulations Sarah!!!

That''s great news!!

YAY Sarah! Congrats.

I haven''t read all (or really any) of the posts yet.

Iwas bad at lunch yesterday. But good at dinner. And I had a ton of water... but dinner made me sick.. so I''m still dehydrated.

Today, breakfast was intentionally heavy because of Fridays we have brunch club and I do a heavy breakfast and a very light snack for lunch. Today I''ll do something like carrot sticks for lunch. I had a part of a breakfast burrito for lunch and a 1/3 of a donut. Dinner will be soup.

 

[Mara]

hi ladies! all of you are doing wonderfully on your plans...i read every few days but i wanted to chime in today to wholeheartedly agree with ambergretchen on the book she recommended...Intuitive Eating, it''s very good, interesting reading about eating and how basically we have all grown so far ''apart'' from our bodies that we don''t even know what our bodies want from us in terms of nutrition, when to eat, what to eat. when you can get back in touch with your BODY (which can take a while actually), it''s when supposedly your eating will normalize.

one other thing i wanted to throw out there as food for thought from my own experiences...stop referring to what you are eating as ''bad'' or ''good''. that is something the book addresses and it''s so true. when you feel like you are BAD or GOOD with eating, it just perpetuates the mental obsession with eating certain things vs not. food is not bad or good, behaviors are....don''t view food as the enemy...many of you are already thinking about WHY you might overeat or eat things that are not as healthy for you, that''s fabulous. i find our own minds are what will sabotage us, the food is just the symptom. when you stop giving something like a banana pie ''power'' over you...you''ll find it''s quite freeing.

anyway, again you are all doing very well, even just things like drinking more water (many times you think you are hungry but it''s just your body needing fluids and it manifests in a hungry feeling, sounds odd but it''s true!), moving an extra 30 minutes a day, taking the stairs vs the elevator, etc CAN make a big difference. rome wasn''t built in a day, give yourselves some leeway for the *life changes* you are making. good luck!

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Date: 5/9/2008 10:38:41 AM
Author: AmberGretchen

Date: 5/9/2008 6:42:30 AM

Author: ZoeBartlett

I forgot to ask others, if you live with your BF or FI, how much of a motivating influence are they?



That''s one of my hardest things to deal with at times. My FI is also overwight, and although he''s had lots of success in the past, he''s fallen off the wagon over the past few years. There was a period of time when he had lost 100 pounds (before we met) and he was doing really well. The gym was his second home and focusing on his weight loss was his second job, basically. Right around the same time we met, he had just begun to put the weight back on. Fast forward to five years later, and he''s now gained much of the weight back.



We try to motivate each other but it''s not easy and we often find ourselves getting frustrated with each other. My FI keeps saying that he knows how to lose weight and he could probably teach nutritionists a few things, but then he makes poor choices. I get frustrated because to me, it''s like, ''well then, lead by example and show me how you lost the weight years ago.'' The whole ''practice what you preach'' thing escapes him.



Sorry if this turned out to be a vent. It feels good getting it written out though.



I guess I just need to do things for myself and not worry about how he can or can''t help.

Zoe I think you are being really insightful about all of this and that''s an important first step. I definitely get the idea of knowing what to do but not doing it, and I do think that often emotional issues are tied into that pretty strongly.


But I would really encourage you to go ahead and do what you need to do for yourself, and don''t worry about how your FI will or won''t help. While I''m a HUGE advocate of marriage as a lifelong partnership and team effort, this is a decision that each person has to make on their own. Its good to know though, that sometimes doing what you need to do for yourself can inspire your partner - my DH didn''t really have a TON of weight to lose, but he had gone from a really lean (like 8% body fat bodydbuilder lean) physique during college to having a bit of a gut. It took a while after I started (almost a year), but eventually he started making changes as well, and he''s lost 25 lbs and is now back to his college weight too - we are both within 5 lbs of where we were when we started dating junior year

Thank you Gypsy!! Hi Zoe I wanted to answer your question as well. My FI isn''t very motivated.

Although, tonight he took a big step and ate better than me!

So I don''t know if I can claim that really, but overall it''s really hard to make him understand what healthy food is. He also thinks he knows a lot more about exercise than he actually does. I know that sounds so mean, but I don''t mean to be mean! I''d so tell him this (it may come down to that). I''ve tried I just don''t know enough about it to debate him. I said the other night I was going to do sit-ups to flatten my tummy, and he is like ohh well that doesn''t do that you just need to do cardio. Well yes, but you need to do both. He seems to think the fat just sits around if you strength the muscles underneath. If that was the case how would anyone ever get nice abs? Am I wrong here or something?

I mean I don''t know a lot about this admittedly.

I guess I am just going to have to start making choices for both of us by controlling meals and grocery shopping.

He wants to lose weight, I am just not sure he is 100% on board. It''s kind of hard to motivate him when I am still trying to motivate me.

Recap: I am done with finals. YAAAY!

Breakfast was okay, I didn''t eat lunch, and I had a bad dinner. So I am going to start anew tomorrow. We went out to eat tonight to celebrate. I figure I can slip for one day. Btw, my Mom has lost 7 lbs on weight watchers already! I am so proud of her (and jealous). I think going home for a bit this summer will be a good way to jump start eating better, she will be a good influence! Then I can bring that back home to FI. Hope everyone is having a great Friday!

 

[mjso]

Date: 5/9/2008 10:28:59 PM
Author: SarahLovesJS


Thank you Gypsy!! Hi Zoe I wanted to answer your question as well. My FI isn''t very motivated.

Although, tonight he took a big step and ate better than me!

So I don''t know if I can claim that really, but overall it''s really hard to make him understand what healthy food is. He also thinks he knows a lot more about exercise than he actually does. I know that sounds so mean, but I don''t mean to be mean! I''d so tell him this (it may come down to that). I''ve tried I just don''t know enough about it to debate him. I said the other night I was going to do sit-ups to flatten my tummy, and he is like ohh well that doesn''t do that you just need to do cardio. Well yes, but you need to do both. He seems to think the fat just sits around if you strength the muscles underneath. If that was the case how would anyone ever get nice abs? Am I wrong here or something?

I mean I don''t know a lot about this admittedly.

I guess I am just going to have to start making choices for both of us by controlling meals and grocery shopping.

He wants to lose weight, I am just not sure he is 100% on board. It''s kind of hard to motivate him when I am still trying to motivate me.

Recap: I am done with finals. YAAAY!

Breakfast was okay, I didn''t eat lunch, and I had a bad dinner. So I am going to start anew tomorrow. We went out to eat tonight to celebrate. I figure I can slip for one day. Btw, my Mom has lost 7 lbs on weight watchers already! I am so proud of her (and jealous). I think going home for a bit this summer will be a good way to jump start eating better, she will be a good influence! Then I can bring that back home to FI. Hope everyone is having a great Friday!

Just wanted to chime in with two things:

1) Strength training and Cardio together are the best. If you do just cardio, you won''t get a six pack because the muscles won''t be defined, but if you only do strenght training it is very possible that the layer of fat will just stay ontop of your muscle and you''ll never see the six pack underneath

2) My FI is a complete UN-motivator. He''s trying to gain weight for our wedding. He''s able to eat whatever he wants, whenever he wants and he stays rail thin. His favorite foods include Pepsi, Pizza, String Cheese, Sour Patch Kids, Corn Dogs and did I mention Pepsi? He admittedly has been trying to cut back on the soda, due to what is likely a caffiene addiction, but not for any weight related reasons. It is sooooooooo hard to live with someone who doesn''t have to worry about their weight ever. I try to be good...I don''t drink soda (unless it has alcohol in it

), I don''t eat any meat except for boneless skinless chicken breast and I rarely eat sweets. But I love going out to eat and I consume way too many carbs and too much fat.

I''ve been going to the gym around 4 times a week (sometimes due to work it is only 3) since the middle of February. I do a bit of cardio and then about an hour and a half of lifting. I feel stronger, and I see more definition in my arms and whatnot, but I don''t feel like I''m losing fast enough.

My brother started on a weight loss program in January (he''s always been a big kid, whereas I was a size zero throughout high school and only gained weight once I got a desk job) and he''s lost 50 lbs so far! I''m so jealous.

I don''t weigh myself because I know I''d be way too depressed if I actually knew how much I weighed, which I guess is bad because I can''t really gauge my sucess except for the way my clothes fit. I''ve got severe body concious-issues and I just know weighing myself is not a good thing. When I was in high school I told myself that if I ever weighed more than 150 lbs I''d get my jaw wired shut. Now my goal is to get to 145-150, which I''m guessing is about 15-20 lbs.

I''ve got almost a year, but I need to start dress shopping soon and my mom pretty much said "well we can''t go dress shopping until you lose weight." And no, that''s not me implying meaning into other words she said...that''s pretty much verbatim.

Well, that got a lot longer than I expected it to...

I''m going to try to go on a hike or go rock climbing this weekend to make up for the day at the gym I missed this week...

 

[icekid]

Date: 5/9/2008 10:28:59 PM
Author: SarahLovesJS


I'd so tell him this (it may come down to that). I've tried I just don't know enough about it to debate him. I said the other night I was going to do sit-ups to flatten my tummy, and he is like ohh well that doesn't do that you just need to do cardio. Well yes, but you need to do both. He seems to think the fat just sits around if you strength the muscles underneath. If that was the case how would anyone ever get nice abs? Am I wrong here or something?

I mean I don't know a lot about this admittedly.

I'd say you're both a little wrong and a little right. Stronger abs alone will not give you a flat stomach, but it may help to hold the fat in a little more. Having really defined abs is actually a function of having little fat there. It doesn't matter how strong you are in there is fat on top- you'll still have the flab. Of course, you should do cardio AND strength train!

I'm already married so not a BIW and I don't need to fit into a dress, but this is a journey I've been on for a long time so I'll throw out some unsolicited advice.

Losing weight, truly, is 90% food intake. Studies have shown it and my own experience has shown it. small changes at the beginning will be enough to start losing weight. As you continue down the path, it will become more and more easy to make the right choice. Second nature! I really want to highlight this, because so many people are working out hard but not losing the weight that they want to lose. Working out is awesome for your mental and physical health, but the food changes NEED to come too (unless you're a man grr).

I agree with Mara on the words good and bad. It makes me cringe when people say "I was bad today" because the idea that I've been bad makes me think that I might as well throw in the towel for the day because I already ruined it. Planning less healthy splurges is a better, more controlled way to eat something tasty I think. You're not being BAD because it's something you knew you would do. You planned, and maybe ate a lighter lunch because you really wanted a cupcake after dinner.

For me, white carbs are really hard. I generally have to avoid. Consider it almost an allergy. One carby thing begets cravings for more carby things. Fortunately I am not really the type who NEEDS pasta or rice, so this really comes down to more of a sugar issue for me. MMM gelato. So when I was 19 (am 27 now) I changed my diet drastically, recognizing this problem. And when I say diet, I don't mean short term "diet." I mean what I eat everyday forever. Lots of salads, veggies, lean proteins, complex carbs, fruits. And this does not mean a huge plate of whole wheat pasta for me. Carb allergy, remember? Complex carbs are much better, but I still cannot eat mounds of them. I know a lot of people don’t “like” veggies. I didn’t love a lot of them at the beginning either. But you become used to the new flavors and eventually (gasp) love and crave them. You’ll find yourself gradually changing. Quite amazing!

I've lost 20+ pounds and maintained it, though I am currently trying to do a little less of the splurging and knock off a few pounds I’ve put on. It still takes effort everyday for me. I think I am going to pick up the Intuitive Eating book too.

Oh, one last tip. Be the person to control what food is in the house, especially at the beginning! If your fiancé wants cookies and pizza and donuts (or whatever the trigger is for you), tell him to go out and get them. Having them in the house staring at me is too much to take. If it’s not there, you won’t eat it! Or if it’s something you want enough to go out and obtain, you’ll have time to examine why you really want that treat and plan for it.

And last, you are doing great ladies! Keep thinking about what you're putting into your body, even if you cannot make huge changes right now. Eventually it will come.

 

[sumbride]

Good morning ladies!

I just got back from my yoga class and it felt really good, but I think I was a little less flexible today because of my time of the month and a party that was just a little too much fun last night. My buddy said "yeah, we can''t stay out so late on Friday anymore..." It was just a little house party, about 10 people, and the food was actually quite healthy... grilled chicken, watermelon, and the rest of my quinoa salad. I just maybe had 1 more glass of wine than I should have, especially without the food to soak it up. I did survive the class though and I''m glad I went!

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 5/9/2008 7:23:47 AM
Author: sumbride
Congrats on the job Sarah!

Yeah, I don''t think I''m going to dish out the cash for the online program, but I did buy the $14 book at Borders last night. It does get rave reviews (doesn''t every diet book at some point?) and I think it will be a worthwhile read. It''s not about dieting or a diet, in that it doesn''t list foods to eat or not eat, doesn''t deal with that... just talks about emotional triggers and how to recognize the differences between emotional and physical hunger and how to cope with feelings without food. I wrote before about how I was raised to suppress painful feelings, and I''ve become aware in the last few years that I really need to deal with those emotions in a healthy way. Anyway, I''ll let you know what I think of the book when I get into it.

Sparkpeople is great and I really like the motivating aspects of it, but it also tends to be a little bit too food-focused for me... I know WHAT to eat and that I need to exercise, but knowing and doing are very separate things... as Zoe said about her FI. Sure, he knows what to do, but he isn''t doing it. Why? That''s the root of it.

And Zoe - Living with my DH for almost 3 years now has been both a positive and a negative influence on me. It''s harder to binge because that''s something better done in private and we don''t have a lot of privacy, but its easier to justify things like ordering pizza and Chinese food. Plus if he decides he wants ice cream, I eat it too... or if he''s dishing up the plates for dinner, he has no concept of portion sizes. I''ve tried to work on that, but it''s a struggle. Just because the hamburger meat comes in a 1 pound package doesn''t mean a half pound is a serving. We could make 4 burgers out of that, not just 2. Things like that... he''s not used to leftovers. He''s also very supportive of wanting to work out, but if I decide I don''t want to go the gym, he says ''ok'' a little too fast....

It''s so funny, the more that we "talk," the more in common I think we have. My FI is very much your husband. Why have leftovers when the food is still sitting there, waiting to be eaten? You mentioned binging (sp?) and how there''s no privacy at home. Honestly, that doesn''t stop my FI. It''s so hard to watch what you eat and manage portions when the person closest to you in so many ways does the exact opposite. I don''t mean to sound like I''m picking on my FI but in these matters, he drives me crazy. I like veggies but I don''t eat them as much as I''d like. Why? Because my FI won''t touch them, so I don''t bother making them for one person.

 

[zoebartlett]

Morning everyone!

Sarah, congratulations on the job!!

Mara, thank you so much for the words of encouragement and the advice. By the way, Alj and I hung out a few weeks ago and it was really fun -- we met for lunch and then did some shopping. She''s so sweet, and I can see how you two would be such good friends.

I''m about to have breakfast -- raisin bran with skim milk. I''m going out for Indian food with some friends and then we''re going to the movies. I''m planning on loading up on water first and then watching the portion of food I eat. I''ll try to get more chicken and less masala sauce, since I know there''s cream in it. I love getting popcorn and a soda at the movies but that''s a habit that I recently fell back into. I don''t think it will be hard to give that up although I enjoy it.

I think I''ll head to the store after that and stock up on fruit and salad stuff.