Would you spend the holidays away from your SO?

[rainwood]

It sounds like your husband is fine with it so the real question is would you be fine with it? It sounds like maybe you wouldn't be - that it's more important to you that you spend the holidays with your husband than it is to him. If that's the case, you should consider staying home because of how you feel, not how your hubby feels. And I totally get that. I'd feel the same guilt in your position probably.

 

[zoebartlett]

Thanks all! Aoife -- I wasn't upset by your post. No worries!

We talked about it again last night I don't think I really want to go. I'd love to take a vacation but I'll wait until he can come with me.

 

[zoebartlett]

Thanks all! Aoife -- I wasn't upset by your post. No worries!

We talked about it again last night I don't think I really want to go. I'd love to take a vacation but I'll wait until he can come with me.

 

[sillyberry]

I think it depends on how much the particular holiday means to you. My DH and I regularly spend Christmas and New Years apart, but I wouldn't dream of leaving him alone for Thanksgiving (my favorite holiday). The others are fun to celebrate with our respective parents/siblings/extended family. Since our families live almost half a world apart, we try to alternate years but it has happened several times since we've been together that we end up celebrating them separately. It's not really a big deal to us, but I can see how it would be if those holidays were more meaningful to us.

Yep, I'm in the same boat. Right now we're trying to be together either Thanksgiving or Christmas, but it looks like we probably will end up only together on NYE. If I had to pick a holiday to be together, for me, NYE would totally be it! I love ringing in the new year with my love! And champagne!

If we had kids, it would most likely be different. But right now we each have mothers who have no one other than us to spend the holidays with, and we're not in a position to just everyone together for the holidays where we are, so the parents get prioritized.

Zoe, I'm glad you came up with the right solution for the two of you.

 

[zoebartlett]

Thanks Sillyberry! I hope it works out for you and your husband to spend NYE together.

 

[somethingshiny]

Is the Holiday a big deal to you?? If it is, I'd still stay with DH and show him the reasons WHY it's important to you. You'll be spending the rest of your lives together. You need to figure out the Holiday expectations now. If he doesn't care much for Christmas anyway, and then you go and spend a week away from him, I'm betting he'll like it even less.

 

[zoebartlett]

SS -- I love Christmas and the holiday season. We don't have kids, so it's a much quieter holiday than it probably would be if we had little ones running around. It's still a meaningful day but I have to admit that it loses some of it's magic. Thanks goodness my students are ALL about Santa because I get to see Christmas and the holiday season through their eyes. It's so much fun and it's such a happy time of year. It's a shame I can't bring them home with me.

On Christmas Eve, We go to my husband's parents' house (or one of his siblings' houses) to celebrate. We do a pot luck dinner and gift exchange with just one family member since his immediate family is large. He's the youngest of 5 siblings and everyone else has children. That's a fun night, and it's a good way to catch up with everyone.

Christmas Day is much quieter. We make our way to my parents' house to spend the day. I have a much smaller family, and it's usually just my parents, my husband, and I, unless my sister happens to be visiting from the west coast. She'll be working this year though and she couldn't take time off. My parents wanted to go out to see her because we don't get to see her often and she just went through a divorce (amicable but still hard).

I've been to my sister's house only once and that was probably 7 years ago I think. It would be great to see the area again, but since my husband's never been there, it would be fun to experience it with him. As much as I'd love to spend the holiday with the rest of my family, I think I'm going to stay here.

 

[Laila619]

I would probably go visit the sister since you don't get to see her all that often.

But it sounds like you're more comfortable staying with DH, and that's very sweet. I'm sure he's very happy you're staying!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Yes I would and I have.

 

[violet3]

I would spend the holidays away from my husband, but neither my husband nor I care for holidays at all. In fact, i've worked thanksgiving for the last three or four years and SO has spent his thanksgiving wherever he chooses. I certainly wouldn't expect him to sit at home and wait for me to get home from work at midnight....that would make me sad.

 

[Black Jade]

You made the right choice. Let him know he's the most important to you. YOu'll never regret it.

 

[kenny]

You don't have to agree with or participate in any holidays.
Holiday X means nothing in culture Y.
Holidays are just made up and agreed with (or not agreed with).

I have found out that family, neighbors and friends do not shoot you if you feel free to do your own thing when it comes to holidays.
For this reason I'd answer, Yes!

 

[Imdanny]

Last Christmas SO and I were living apart because he had to take a job on a different island, he had to start immediately, and it took some time before we could get a new place for both of us, pack, move me, the cat, and the car.

We were going to spent Christmas apart, but he surprised me by coming the night of the 24th until the morning of the 26th.

He and I and the cat had the best time.

I'd do it if we had to but I was so relieved it didn't turn out that way.

 

[manderz]

Personally, no I wouldn't. But, our anniversary is Christmas Eve, and we both used to work retail, so the evening of our anniversary and Christmas Day were the first we'd see of each other in what seemed like months. However, if it wasn't our anniversary, I think I'd be inclined to just follow my heart and see how I felt at that point in time. Usually, my heart leads me to him, but if I could see family that I hadn't seen in a really long time, and he wasn't able to go, I'd go.

 

[zoebartlett]

Last Christmas SO and I were living apart because he had to take a job on a different island, he had to start immediately, and it took some time before we could get a new place for both of us, pack, move me, the cat, and the car.

We were going to spent Christmas apart, but he surprised me by coming the night of the 24th until the morning of the 26th.

He and I and the cat had the best time.

I'd do it if we had to but I was so relieved it didn't turn out that way.

I remember that, Danny. I was really happy for you that you and your SO got to spend the holiday together.

 

[bee*]

Last Christmas SO and I were living apart because he had to take a job on a different island, he had to start immediately, and it took some time before we could get a new place for both of us, pack, move me, the cat, and the car.

We were going to spent Christmas apart, but he surprised me by coming the night of the 24th until the morning of the 26th.

He and I and the cat had the best time.

I'd do it if we had to but I was so relieved it didn't turn out that way.

aww that's lovely!

I think I'd stay with my DH and try and visit my sister when the two of us could travel. Although if DH really wanted me to go, I'd maybe do it.