would you mind if i call you by a shorten name?

[Dancing Fire]

i.e...if your name was Elizabeth and i call you Liz,and if your husband's name was Robert and i call him Bob would he mind?

 

[HollyS]

I've known a few people that really got miffed if you shortened their name.

I asked a new hire once (her name was Christine) if she preferred Chris or Christy or some other variation. I was being nice, trying to get to know her, make her comfortable, etc. Her response was a very terse "I go by Christine, because THAT'S MY NAME."

I told her I was glad we had cleared that up, because I would have hated to upset her by being too casual.


Friend of mine started using "Rebecca" years ago instead of the name she had always been known as - Becky. She tells me (ME) that she can't see herself getting older and still being called "Becky with a Y" because it just sounds so juvenile.

After I gave her the look that says "You've lost your mind", I said, "Hello? My name is Holly with a Y."

 

[Aoife]

It depends. If we were close friends, and it was done as a way of showing affection, probably not. If you were trying to create (fake) intimacy, and I had already told you the name I preferred to be called, I would mind.

My DH goes by his middle name, and his legal first name is of the easily-shortened William/Robert/Geoffrey variety. So when someone calls asking for Bill/Bob/Jeff, we immediately know that it's a salesman.

EdTA: One of my sisters has changed the name she wanted to be called several times over the years, and I always respect her preferences, because a name carries a huge emotional load. It's a fairly easy way for me to show her that I love and respect her.

 

[marymm]

If my name is Elizabeth, and I go by Elizabeth, then yes, I would mind if you decided to call me by a name I do not use (in this case, Liz).

My practice is to call people by the name they go by - I do not use shortened names unless that is the name they go by.

I do know several people named Elizabeth, and it is 50/50 - some go by the full name and some use Liz.

I know several men that, as boys, went by a diminutive (Billy, Bobby, Mikey), and once they became teens most made it clear they wished to be called by their shortened name (Bill, Bob, Mike), with a few choosing to use their full name (William, Robert, Michael).

I also know a few people who went by their first name and then later changed to use their middle name - I use their preferred name. In one case in particular, now and again I slip and use the name I first knew him by, but this mainly occurs when I am telling an old story that involves him back when he used his first name.

OP - I am trying to understand the point of your post - are you being introduced to someone ("Dancing Fire, I'd like you to meet Elizabeth") and rather than calling her Elizabeth you choose to call her Liz ("Pleased to meet you Liz")?

 

[Dancing Fire]

[quote="marymm|1322241354|
OP - I am trying to understand the point of your post - are you being introduced to someone ("Dancing Fire, I'd like you to meet Elizabeth") and rather than calling her Elizabeth you choose to call her Liz ("Pleased to meet you Liz")?[/quote]


nahhh,just wondering how people feel about being called by their shortened name.

 

[Maisie]

I would expect people to use the name that I introduced myself as. If I said Elizabeth and someone automatically shortened it I wouldn't say anything (don't want to embarrass them) but probably not like it much.

 

[tyty333]

[quote="marymm|1322241354|
OP - I am trying to understand the point of your post - are you being introduced to someone ("Dancing Fire, I'd like you to meet Elizabeth") and rather than calling her Elizabeth you choose to call her Liz ("Pleased to meet you Liz")?

nahhh,just wondering how people feel about being called by their shortened name.[/quote]


My name doesnt shorten but if it did I would not like someone automatically assuming that
I go by a shorten name (it seems presumptuous to me). When I was introduced to a new person as "Elizabeth" I would say
please call me "Liz" or "Lizzy" or "Beth" or "Eliza" or whatever shortened name I would want to be called. Thats your clue
to call someone by a shorten name. If you dont hear that, then I would continue to use the full name until you get to know
that person well.

On the other hand I do not see anything wrong with asking if a person goes by "Elizabeth" or a shortened name. They should
politely respond that they go by "Elizabeth" or by whatever they do go by. I do not find that a rude question and would not
expect a rude answer like Holly got when all she was doing was trying to be nice.

 

[KaeKae]

Only my husband and brother ever shorten my name, and they are just using the first syllable. Like Holly, my full first name already ends with the "ee" sound, but it's an i, instead. I've had a few people ask what my full name is, there is no 'full' version. I've also had a couple people ask me why I use and 'i' instead of "y." That was my parent's decision. It's on my original birth certificate that way. And, no, I've never topped the i with a heart, even in 7th grade!!!

As for other people, I try to use what the person prefers.

 

[JewelFreak]

If someone is introduced as Robert Jones, you can shake hands & say, "Robert, nice to meet you." (Good way to remember his name, too.) That's his cue to say, "Call me Bobby," if he wishes. If he doesn't, he's Robert. Imo it's kind of crass to call someone a nickname you have no indication he uses, also assumes too much intimacy. Elizabeth Taylor hated to be called Liz -- and you can mess up badly, say, with another Elizabeth, who could be Liz, Lisa, Liza, Betsy, Betty.

 

[AprilBaby]

I have name that shouldn't be shortened, but for some reason a few people do and it drives me NUTS!!! It really makes me dislike those people. Why can't you just use my name???? It's similar to this: Wendy/ Wen Is your tongue lazy or something????

 

[MichelleCarmen]

People shouldn't shorten other peoples names. You use the name you were introduced as.

My 9 year old son has encountered kids shortening his name and first one friend began doing so and now all the other kids are. My son is REALLY annoyed and keeps complaining about the nickname. He doesn't like it at all. Now he's probably stuck with it for life.

 

[Logan Sapphire]

I would mind it.

And, in a reverse situation, my son's full name is Andrew but we call him Drew. But since his legal name is Andrew, that's what is on all his records at doctors and school, so they all call him Andrew, which we never do. No matter how many times I pointedly call him Drew or say that we call him Drew, they all still call him Andrew.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

I would mind it.

And, in a reverse situation, my son's full name is Andrew but we call him Drew. But since his legal name is Andrew, that's what is on all his records at doctors and school, so they all call him Andrew, which we never do. No matter how many times I pointedly call him Drew or say that we call him Drew, they all still call him Andrew.

How old is your son? Is he in elementary yet? At my kids' school, at the start of the year the teachers have us fill out a form which indicates if our children like to go by another name. One kid uses an entirely different name than his real name and all the kids know him by the different name.

 

[Munchkin]

Yes. This is one of my pet peeves.

If I introduce myself as Elizabeth (my real name), then I want you to call me Elizabeth. It really bothers me when people assume my nickname is Liz. I was never a Liz. In grade school I was Beth, but I now prefer Elizabeth.

IMHO the key is, call people what they introduce themselves as. Don't presume it's ok to shorten unless they tell you so.

Now, that said, if people ask whether I prefer Elizabeth, Liz, etc, I'm very polite in my response. I'm grateful people for people who ask rather than presume.

 

[Logan Sapphire]

I would mind it.

And, in a reverse situation, my son's full name is Andrew but we call him Drew. But since his legal name is Andrew, that's what is on all his records at doctors and school, so they all call him Andrew, which we never do. No matter how many times I pointedly call him Drew or say that we call him Drew, they all still call him Andrew.

How old is your son? Is he in elementary yet? At my kids' school, at the start of the year the teachers have us fill out a form which indicates if our children like to go by another name. One kid uses an entirely different name than his real name and all the kids know him by the different name.

He's still a wee tot- 19 months. They do have a space on his forms for nicknames and I'm pretty sure I wrote Drew down. It's funny to see him respond to Andrew, especially since in his baby circle of friends, he's one of three Andrews.

 

[Pandora II]

I have a short first name and I'm called it by everyone except my parents and siblings - they call me by an old-fashioned diminutive and are the only people that do so, not even my husband uses it. I always introduce myself by my first name and would expect to be called that.

What really irritated me was when my brother's wife started calling me by my family nick-name. None of my other sibling's partners do, I introduced myself to her originally with my actual name and we are not in any way friends. It really, really rubs me up the wrong way and I was quite suprised what a visceral reaction I had to it.

On the other hand, my husband goes by a common nick-name for his name (like Chris for Christopher/Tim for Timothy type common) and the only people that don't use it are his parents and siblings. I find it quite strange to hear it...

We named our daughter Daisy, thinking that it couldn't be shortened... I went to pick her up from nursery yesterday only to hear the staff all calling her 'Dayz'.... Aaaaarrrrrggggghhh!

 

[MissStepcut]

My name isn't one that has traditional nicknames like Elizabeth or Raymond do, but I would not like it at all if you invented one.

 

[yssie]

At work I go by my full name (three syllables). My DH and about half my friends call me by the first letter of my name - J.

I would not be happy if someone decided to shorten it out of nowhere (they wouldn't pick "J" anyway)... it's a mark of respect to wait for an invitation to help yourself to a shortening/nickname, I think!

DH's name is David. He goes by David, and winces when he hears "Dave".

 

[makemepretty]

I don't like when people call me Laurie. That's not shorter than Laura. I can always tell when it's someone we don't know calling and they ask for my husband "Jim". My husband is James but I call him Jamie, only strangers call him Jim. They think it makes them sound familiar but they are so wrong.

 

[zoebartlett]

My husband goes by his nickname and although I go by my full name, some friends and family members shorten it all the time.

I once knew a woman who had a young son whose name is Patrick. She would get so offended when people called him Pat, and she'd go on about how it was rude of people to assume they could just shorten names. "We named him PatRICK and we call him PatRICK! If we had wanted others to call him by a shorter name, we'd CALL him by that name!" Some people get offended very easily.

ETA: I saw this woman's point, and I actually agree with it, but I just thought it was a little funny how peeved she'd get when the subject came up. As others have said, I call people by the name they use when introducing themselves.

 

[zoebartlett]

My mom actually gets so riled up when people call her another name than one she uses. She has a full name, the one that's on her legal documents, but she never uses it. She has always used a particular nickname (one that doesn't sound at all like her full name). Sometimes we joke around and call her one of the other nicknames her full name has and she gets so annoyed.

My (married) last name is actually a nickname for a girl. I don't think it's a popular nickname, but I can't tell you how many people call me by it, thinking it's my first name. It's as if that's the last name they heard me say while introducing myself or something, so they go with it.

 

[MissStepcut]

My husband goes by his nickname and although I go by my full name, some friends and family members shorten it all the time.

I once knew a woman who had a young son whose name is Patrick. She would get so offended when people called him Pat, and she'd go on about how it was rude of people to assume they could just shorten names. "We named him PatRICK and we call him PatRICK! If we had wanted others to call him by a shorter name, we'd CALL him by that name!" Some people get offended very easily.

ETA: I saw this woman's point, and I actually agree with it, but I just thought it was a little funny how peeved she'd get when the subject came up. As others have said, I call people by the name they use when introducing themselves.

Ugh, I haaate when parents do this. You cannot control what people call your child.

 

[Enerchi]

I would definitely mind having my name shortened. It isn't one that is 'shortenable" ( ??Is that a word??? ) so I'm safe but my 2 sons have names that can be shortened and I really get my back up when I refer to them in conversation by their full names and someone responds with the shortened version. ARGH! That's not their names!

so I'm one of those stickler type people who prefer the full name or the one that the person introduces themselves as. If our friendship blossoms and they want me to call them something different, ok, but beware I don't "retrain" well!! hahahaha!!!

 

[Jennifer W]

I don't like when people call me Laurie. That's not shorter than Laura. I can always tell when it's someone we don't know calling and they ask for my husband "Jim". My husband isJames but I call him Jamie, only strangers call him Jim. They think it makes them sound familiar but they are so wrong.

Same here!

 

[swingirl]

My husband goes by his nickname and although I go by my full name, some friends and family members shorten it all the time.

I once knew a woman who had a young son whose name is Patrick. She would get so offended when people called him Pat, and she'd go on about how it was rude of people to assume they could just shorten names. "We named him PatRICK and we call him PatRICK! If we had wanted others to call him by a shorter name, we'd CALL him by that name!" Some people get offended very easily.

ETA: I saw this woman's point, and I actually agree with it, but I just thought it was a little funny how peeved she'd get when the subject came up. As others have said, I call people by the name they use when introducing themselves.

Ugh, I haaate when parents do this. You cannot control what people call your child.

Really? Shouldn't people call a person by their name? You CAN control what people call your child by correcting them when they use the wrong name, politely, of course.

 

[MissStepcut]

Ugh, I haaate when parents do this. You cannot control what people call your child.

Really? Shouldn't people call a person by their name? You CAN control what people call your child by correcting them when they use the wrong name, politely, of course.

Nicknames aren't wrong really, just permutations. If the child doesn't like it, it will say so.

 

[swingirl]

Ugh, I haaate when parents do this. You cannot control what people call your child.

Really? Shouldn't people call a person by their name? You CAN control what people call your child by correcting them when they use the wrong name, politely, of course.

Nicknames aren't wrong really, just permutations. If the child doesn't like it, it will say so.

A nickname IS wrong if it's not what that person is called. It's just not their name.When you name your child Richard and call him Richard, his name is not Dick just because someone else decides they want to use another name. Nicknames are a familiar form and if you have not reached that status you have no right to rename a person assuming that it's a "shortened" version and acceptable. Try calling your boss by a nickname a see how well that goes over. It's all about respect.

 

[MissStepcut]

There's a person controlling their name, and there's their parent doing so. Kids can make up their own minds about these things pretty early. I remember correcting someone at 4. To that end, parents should respect their children's preferences too, even if it's not the version of the child's name they expected the child to take.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

My sister insists on Katherine--and it sounds better. Of course when I've had a few, it is Kath...

I met a gal at work for the first time--and she is Susan. I asked "do you mind Sue or Suzy" and she glared at me: I have NEVER been a Suzy! To see her, it just makes sense. Susan it is! I respect that.

cheers--Sharon

 

[marcy]

It wouldn't bother me. I do know it does some people though - if I just meet someone I will ask them what name they like to go by and I would use that per their request.