vespergirl
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2007
- Messages
- 5,497
I know that this sounds harsh, but my mother was physically and emotionally abusive to my brothers & I when we were kids, and since she has never really apologized, we have a strained relationship. Because of this, I don''t have the warm & fuzzy feelings for her that most people have for their parents. My dad & I are close, but I can barely stand being around my mother.
Here''s the situation - my parents, who were very financially flush a couple of years ago, sank almost all of their cash into real estate investments and have lost almost everything. They are in their early 60s. My dad has started a small but relatively successful business, and my mother is a social worker. She just lost her job. She & my dad have been having lots of problems (they have always fought daily, but the situation is exacerbated by the financial woes) and she has been talking about looking at jobs in my area, and that because I live in such an expensive city, hinting if could she come stay with us so she could work here.
My answer is no, for these reasons:
1. I honestly can''t believe that there are no jobs avaiable where she lives. If she can''t find something exactly in her field, there are certainly other jobs.
2. My parents still own 6 properties, worth over $2 million, but refuse to sell anything in a down market. They also have a house full of artwork, antiques and jewelry that they refuse to think about selling (what would the neighbors think). They have absolutely no cash and are living off of credit cards, and are constantly complaining to me about their money problems, but my husband and I honestly are having a hard time feeling sorry for people who live in a million dollar mcmansion.
3. They refused to listen to the financial advice of their financial advisor who for years was warning them about the mistakes they were making, and they chose to ignore the warnings. Now they are having to live with the mess the created, but it''s not like they couldn''t have seen it coming if they listened to anyone who tried to advise them.
So, what would you guys do? I honestly think that I would absolutely lose my mind if she came to stay with us. Also, I am a SAHM, so the financial burden of having an extra person in the home would fall on my DH, and even though he tolerates her, she aggravates him too.
One of my friends is telling me that they are my parents, I should do whatever I can to help them, but honestly I don''t feel like I owe a lot to a woman who used to tell me constantly when I was a child that the only reason my parents fought was because of us kids - what a totally crappy parent. My DH also said that he would be hesitant to spend his hard-earned money to help people who live in a nicer house than we do. He gave them advice to liquidate, and they ignored his advice. I would also feel more of a sense of responsibility if they were living in a trailer, with nothing left to sell, and a medical crisis. Not spoiled yuppies who don''t want to give up their lifestyle.
So, what do you think - do we help bail my parents out, or leave them to clean up their own mess? I''m thinking that we''re going to leave it to them, but I guess I''m interested in what others would do in this situation ...
Here''s the situation - my parents, who were very financially flush a couple of years ago, sank almost all of their cash into real estate investments and have lost almost everything. They are in their early 60s. My dad has started a small but relatively successful business, and my mother is a social worker. She just lost her job. She & my dad have been having lots of problems (they have always fought daily, but the situation is exacerbated by the financial woes) and she has been talking about looking at jobs in my area, and that because I live in such an expensive city, hinting if could she come stay with us so she could work here.
My answer is no, for these reasons:
1. I honestly can''t believe that there are no jobs avaiable where she lives. If she can''t find something exactly in her field, there are certainly other jobs.
2. My parents still own 6 properties, worth over $2 million, but refuse to sell anything in a down market. They also have a house full of artwork, antiques and jewelry that they refuse to think about selling (what would the neighbors think). They have absolutely no cash and are living off of credit cards, and are constantly complaining to me about their money problems, but my husband and I honestly are having a hard time feeling sorry for people who live in a million dollar mcmansion.
3. They refused to listen to the financial advice of their financial advisor who for years was warning them about the mistakes they were making, and they chose to ignore the warnings. Now they are having to live with the mess the created, but it''s not like they couldn''t have seen it coming if they listened to anyone who tried to advise them.
So, what would you guys do? I honestly think that I would absolutely lose my mind if she came to stay with us. Also, I am a SAHM, so the financial burden of having an extra person in the home would fall on my DH, and even though he tolerates her, she aggravates him too.
One of my friends is telling me that they are my parents, I should do whatever I can to help them, but honestly I don''t feel like I owe a lot to a woman who used to tell me constantly when I was a child that the only reason my parents fought was because of us kids - what a totally crappy parent. My DH also said that he would be hesitant to spend his hard-earned money to help people who live in a nicer house than we do. He gave them advice to liquidate, and they ignored his advice. I would also feel more of a sense of responsibility if they were living in a trailer, with nothing left to sell, and a medical crisis. Not spoiled yuppies who don''t want to give up their lifestyle.
So, what do you think - do we help bail my parents out, or leave them to clean up their own mess? I''m thinking that we''re going to leave it to them, but I guess I''m interested in what others would do in this situation ...