Would you lavish your kids with diamonds?

[Pandora II]

I wasn''t allowed to have my ears pierced until I was 16 - and if I have daughters, ditto.

I wouldn''t give any child an expensive piece of jewellery until they were at least 21 - mainly because I wouldn''t want them to worry about losing it or it being stolen and them being very upset.

I do have a set of Miki pearls put away for a future daughter''s 21st or as an engagement gift for a future daughter-in-law. Not sure what I''ll do if I end up with a gay son!

 

[LegacyGirl]

Date: 3/31/2008 1:24:07 PM
Author: Pandora II
I wasn''t allowed to have my ears pierced until I was 16 - and if I have daughters, ditto.

I wouldn''t give any child an expensive piece of jewellery until they were at least 21 - mainly because I wouldn''t want them to worry about losing it or it being stolen and them being very upset.

I do have a set of Miki pearls put away for a future daughter''s 21st or as an engagement gift for a future daughter-in-law. Not sure what I''ll do if I end up with a gay son!

Keep them for the granddaughter when that time comes?


You crack me up!

 

[Heidi137]

My daughter is 19 and has no diamonds. She might get something when she graduates from college but not before. She tends to lose things so I don''t think she''s responsible enough at this point to give her expensive jewelry. Thank goodness she loves Brighton jewelry and just about anything marcasite.

 

[Kaleigh]

Heck no. Starting that early would really be bad. My daughter is almost 20, has a tiny pair of diamond studs. She adores them. Thank goodness she isn''t asking for bigger ones.

I have bigger ones to give her, but will wait till she graduates from college.

 

[AmberWaves]

Ellen, her parents have now split up as the Mother was also raised that way, and was quickly spending their way into debt. Long story short, the mother has remarried someone with a lot of money,

and they''re both taken care of now. My cousin''s dad (my blood relation) is a little more down to earth, and is trying to make her repay him for the 80k he spent sending her to college, which she has wasted. So far it''s war between them.

 

[Elmorton]

I'm kinda surprised by 16 or 20 being the magic number for receiving nice jewelery. I think it really depends on the child/person. Yes, 5 is really pushing it for diamond studs and bangles, but I would have thought people would be more comfortable with 12 or 13 for starter jewelry purchases. My first "real" pieces were around that age - and with the exception of a couple of pairs of diamond chip earrings, I still have all the jewelry my mom bought me - I was given a gold cross around age 10 and then a Tiffany silver necklace (I think it was half the price then that it is now, but still, that was still a lot of money to me) at 13, and then a couple of nicer pieces in high school.

My mom and I have been talking about trading in some jewelry - esp. our high school rings, and if I remember right, that was pushing $400 at age 15 (worth about $20-40 as scrap - heartbreaking). If you think of it in that way, it's really not uncommon for high schoolers to be wearing some pretty expensive stuff - even though that's one jewelry piece though that I can promise I am NOT buying my child someday...what a waste!

 

[TravelingGal]

Interesting responses ladies!

Re: designer clothes for tots...if I can get them at NON designer prices, sure! Why not! I just won''t pay more than I do for my clothes for my kid''s clothes. And...er...that''s not giving a lot of wiggle room.

I think the little girls know how pretty diamonds are, and that they are special to be wearing them, but they certainly don''t know the value, for lack of a better word. The mom wears HUGE bling so in the scheme of things, it probably seems normal to everyone. Like I said, I wouldn''t do it even if I had all the money in the world. I agree with previous posters...we are creating a generation of very spoiled people!

 

[Selkie]

I''m sure opinions on this have a lot to do with where and how one grew up and/or lives. Although I had my ears pierced pretty young (6 or 7, I think) I didn''t have any real diamond or gemstone jewelry until I was maybe 14 or 15, and then it was all tiny diamond chips. The 0.25ct studs I got for my 16th birthday were a HUUUUGE deal to me, and I know I had no idea what they were worth for a long time. But then, I grew up in a pretty small, conservative middle-class community and family. If I had kids, I''d definitely do the same thing so that certain types of gifts would still be special, and not just part of the daily routine.

Living where I (and you, TGal) do now, I can''t say it surprises me (though it does sadden me) when I hear about young kids getting huge bling. It''s all part of a particular mindset. They will probably also be the ones getting new Mercedes or BMWs for their 16th birthdays.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 3/31/2008 5:18:34 PM
Author: Selkie
I''m sure opinions on this have a lot to do with where and how one grew up and/or lives. Although I had my ears pierced pretty young (6 or 7, I think) I didn''t have any real diamond or gemstone jewelry until I was maybe 14 or 15, and then it was all tiny diamond chips. The 0.25ct studs I got for my 16th birthday were a HUUUUGE deal to me, and I know I had no idea what they were worth for a long time. But then, I grew up in a pretty small, conservative middle-class community and family. If I had kids, I''d definitely do the same thing so that certain types of gifts would still be special, and not just part of the daily routine.

Living where I (and you, TGal) do now, I can''t say it surprises me (though it does sadden me) when I hear about young kids getting huge bling. It''s all part of a particular mindset. They will probably also be the ones getting new Mercedes or BMWs for their 16th birthdays.

Yeah...if you''re gonna see anything like this, it''s in LA for sure.

I should say that these kids aren''t wearing a carat in each ear or anything. It looks like maybe .2 in each ear? Still, it looked big to me for little girls. I would imagine it''s still several hundred bucks that a 3 year old is wearing...

The mom is a sweetheart though...not flashy except for jewelry and purses. Or maybe I should don''t know what name brands she is wearing because I am not a fashionista!

 

[swingirl]

Pandora II, I''m glad to hear 16 was your magic number. When it comes to tatoos and piercing we drew the line for our daughter at 18. Then she could sign for herself. I know we were extreme but I couldn''t justify saying it''s okay in your ears but not in your lip, nose or eyebrow.

I don''t think she''s scarred by it. There are some things in life that should be worth waiting for.

 

[lauralu]

well it sounds to me like your friend just may be creating ungratefulness in her daughters. I am not sure when the appropriate time is to give diamonds to a child. HOWEVER, I truly believe how it is done and the spirit in which it is given in really sets the tone as to how a child will react and appreciate. If they are hearing bling bling bling with attitude than that is what they will mirror.

In my personal experience in giving one of my children diamonds. For my oldest daughters 16th birthday last October. I gave her a white gold necklace with a heart slide that has a diamond in the heart. Very simple yet beautiful. She loves it and although does not feel the diamond is the most important part. She thinks it is beautiful. That 16th birthday is a tough one. I wanted her present to be something she might keep for a long time. Assuming she does not loose it, I think she will have it awhile. She so far takes very good care of it.

 

[neatfreak]

I agree that for me there is no magic number, but my theoretical child wouldn''t get anything of value until they can show that they appreciate and respect it. And even then I would start them out with something tiny (like diamond chip earrings) and see how they do. Then maybe for a major life milestone in their teen years get them something more substantial (but I am still talking like .25cw studs here! Not big!).

So I guess that I DO think there are "fine" jewelry items that are appropriate for young girls...but demanding bigger bling is NOT appropriate behavior. I think the key is making sure your kids realize how special it is and treating it that way.

 

[Haven]

I would not lavish my young daughters with diamonds. I might consider buying them a special occassion piece or two when the time comes, but they wouldn''t be huge. My aunt and uncle bought me an add-a-pearl necklace when I was five and by the time I reached bat mitzvah age I had an entire strand of pearls, which was very special to me. BUT, I had to wait until I was engaged to own a diamond.

My FI has never lived outside of Chicago, so whenever he comes out to the suburbs and sees the way people dress their children he''s astonished. North Face fleece jackets and designer jeans are the norm here for toddlers, as well as Birkenstocks and whatever new trend-of-the-moment is out in the stores. I grew up with girls who were given LV purses and diamond tennis bracelets before they were old enough to drive. Are they spoiled? Some of them.

Would I do the same with my children? Not a chance.

 

[louisvgirl]

I agree this is and will be a generation of spoiled children. My FI''s girls (8 and 9) are rocking TR jeans, Hollister, and A a F. (per their mother''s doing)They''re mom leases a MBnz, makes 35k a year, and tries to live like the Jones''. They have every game system available, have the newest cell phones, and Ipod''s, and get weekly shopping spree''s. They go to school dressed as if they''re going to do print work for a fashion magazine. Oh yeah, let''s not forget the UGGs. So when they''re father (my FI) bought a Honda last week, they said "why did you buy that, a Honda?" Yeah, can''t wait to see them when they''re 16!

 

[nclrgirl]

No. When I was 12, my Mom gave me a ring that her godmother had given to her. I lost it within a week. I wasn''t being irresponsible, I think it fell off when (or after) I washed my hands. I never found it and still feel horrible about it to this day.

 

[Miranda]

I have to honestly say that I don''t know. Since DD''s (5) ears have been pierced I''ve often thought teeny tiny, like .05 each, bexeled studs would be so cute. CZs just don''t sparkle the same as diamonds. Maybe for her 10th bday. I KNOW she''d appreciate it as she already adores jewelry. She would be careful, but, kids are kids. She runs and plays and swims. Right now she''s happpy with her little pink tourmaline and palladium starter studs. I got her a charm bracelet for her 5th bday and she only wears it when she is dressed up. Otherwise it gets in her way. I''d much rather have her busy playing than blinged out!

 

[ahappygirl]

No. Way.

I watched an interview with Ivanka Trump, who I think is very accomplished. She responded to an interviewer''s question about her childhood by saying she actually wasn''t given a lot of material things (given this may be a relative statement, but I believed she did say something like "compared to most of my friends") but the focus was more on giving her opportunities. We try to have a similiar view with our child. It isn''t that we are able to give him a lot of material things or think this necessarily would corrupt his character, but it just isn''t our choice.

Somehow old Cosby Show episodes are appearing in my mind. Think of Mr. Huxtable''s take on the issue.

 

[snlee]

Absolutely not. Kids at that age loose things so easily. No way!

 

[Fancy605]

Me personally? No way. I just don''t think I''d want my 5 year old worrying over things like labels and jewelry. Yeah, kids like sparkle-y things, but most little girls cannot discern between diamond and CZ (and if they can, their parents probably ought to be spending more time reading to them and less time teaching them about fine jewelery--ah, but that''s the reading teacher in me talking now).

As far as designer stuff for kids goes: eh, if the parents want to buy it, and it doesn''t interfere with the kid''s childhood, why not? Personally, growing up, I am sure that my parents could have given us designer clothes, but we were kids and were more concerned with stuff my mom could easily wash when we got it dirty (We had dogs and horses and such and spent a great deal of time outside). I am pretty sure we never owned a thing that wasn''t on sale just on principle. Now, once we got into high school and certainly college, my parents were more likely to buy us nicer clothing because chances were we would wear the same pieces for several years. I think when I have kids, I will stick with sales until the kid is old enough to care what he''s wearing. I''d rather save money to take any theoretical kids on vacation than on making them fit the of the moment trend (but who knows what it would be like if I had limitless funds)

But, really kids are young; they should really be more concerned with playing and reading and imagining and having adventures than they are about clothes and diamond studs and such. There''s time for all that stuff in the adult world. You only get to be a kid for so long; why clutter up childhood with worries over what''s fashionable? That''s not to say that it''s wrong for parents to buy their kids nice clothing. I mean, I am sure lots of well dressed tots don''t even realize what sort of clothes they have on and have very nice, happy childhoods. It''s one thing for a kid to wear what his mom puts him in and still be a happy kid. It''s quite another for a little kid to WORRY over what brands he has on and to actually insist on certain brands and be obsessive about it as if what he wears at 6 actually mattered in the long run. It''s also quite another thing to allow ones children to become materialistic at such a young age.

I say: give kids lavish things with caution. Be careful that they realize that the LOVE behind the gifts is way more important than the face value.

 

[Sabine]

When I was 5, I distinctly remember loving my bright purple PLASTIC purse, those little beaded necklaces that you could lengthen by adding beads to (they popped on the end of each other), and all my other play jewelry. But I have to admit, my mom had my ears pierced when I was just a baby, and for as long as I can remember, I had a pair of pretty teeny real diamond studs, and I knew even from a young age that when I wore them, it was going to be a special occassion, and I still have them.

But dripping in bling, no.

Upgrading bling to something bigger, no.

Teaching young girls that they deserve everything they want, hell no!

 

[coatimundi_org]

When I was that little I was too busy digging a hole to China in the backyard(I can''t believe my parents let me dig that hole!), climbing trees and building forts.
I had no interest whatsoever in jewelry. I can''t imagine a child that age would desire diamonds specifically.

My theoretical child would not receive diamonds.

My parents gave me a lovely strand of pearls when I was 18 and a pair of pearl studs when I was sixteen. When I was very little, my mother gave me an engraved gold bangle and an engraved gold locket. I still have these precious pieces.

I do believe that there are a lot of entitled children running around, and it disturbs me. Maybe I grew up in a simpler time 70s-80s? Okay, not that simple, but when I was growing up, I saw a mere fraction of the entitlement I see today.

 

[Lynnie]

Date: 3/31/2008 9:59:32 PM
Author: coatimundi
When I was that little I was too busy digging a hole to China in the backyard(I can''t believe my parents let me dig that hole!), climbing trees and building forts.
I had no interest whatsoever in jewelry. I can''t imagine a child that age would desire diamonds specifically.

My theoretical child would not receive diamonds.

My parents gave me a lovely strand of pearls when I was 18 and a pair of pearl studs when I was sixteen. When I was very little, my mother gave me an engraved gold bangle and an engraved gold locket. I still have these precious pieces.

I do believe that there are a lot of entitled children running around, and it disturbs me. Maybe I grew up in a simpler time 70s-80s? Okay, not that simple, but when I was growing up, I saw a mere fraction of the entitlement I see today.

HAHA Coati!! Same for me... My brother (1 year younger than I) and I kept ourselves busy for HOURS digging a hole to China! We found a fossil once (my bro still has it!). Anyways, brilliant keep-your-kids-busy-and-out-of-trouble idea of my parents that I will surely borrow once I have kids!
Back to topic, there is no way a 5-year-old can appreciate fine jewelry. This situation is a new kind of "spoiled rotten". Like someone else said, God help that kid''s future hubby. She is definitely creating a monster.
I got a pair of diamond studs (prolly .2 cts each) from my father when I turned 16. The card said something like "My little girl is becoming a woman. What every 16 year-old needs - diamonds and a red convertible". I LOVED those earrings, wore them everyday, in bed and the shower. Well, within a year I lost one

and to this day, I haven''t told my dad because I know his feelings would be hurt. And I am so mad at myself for losing it. My FI wears the other now.
BTW, the car was actually a matchbox car - very funny, Dad.

 

[Ellen]

Date: 4/7/2008 8:39:09 AM
Author: Lynnie


HAHA Coati!! Same for me... My brother (1 year younger than I) and I kept ourselves busy for HOURS digging a hole to China! We found a fossil once (my bro still has it!). Anyways, brilliant keep-your-kids-busy-and-out-of-trouble idea of my parents that I will surely borrow once I have kids!
Back to topic, there is no way a 5-year-old can appreciate fine jewelry. This situation is a new kind of ''spoiled rotten''. Like someone else said, God help that kid''s future hubby. She is definitely creating a monster.
I got a pair of diamond studs (prolly .2 cts each) from my father when I turned 16. The card said something like ''My little girl is becoming a woman. What every 16 year-old needs - diamonds and a red convertible''. I LOVED those earrings, wore them everyday, in bed and the shower. Well, within a year I lost one

and to this day, I haven''t told my dad because I know his feelings would be hurt. And I am so mad at myself for losing it. My FI wears the other now.
BTW, the car was actually a matchbox car - very funny, Dad.

Cute!!

 

[Jas12]

Wasn''t it Holly G. in Breakfast at Tiffany''s that said she would never wear big diamonds before 40....

I am all for handing down a nice item of jewlery to younger generations (that''s why i spent more on my e-ring than my car--i like things to last and have sentimental value) but i would never just go out and buy diamonds for a 5 yr old!

 

[Fancy605]

Date: 4/7/2008 11:22:26 AM
Author: Jas12
Wasn''t it Holly G. in Breakfast at Tiffany''s that said she would never wear big diamonds before 40....

Why, yes it was. Except, I think she went beyond big diamonds and applied that rule to diamonds in general.

Oh how I adore that movie.

 

[UCLABelle]

Well, I guess I am a bad example, because I had diamonds pretty young (about 10) but they were gifts from my grandma (old russian diamond rings that were hers as a young girl) and I cherished them....However, I did not have diamond studs, as I couldn't get my ears pierced until I was 13.


I wouldn't "lavish" my daughter with diamonds, but where I live it is typical to see a tween carrying an LV bag, Tiffany jewels, and diamonds

Anything before 8 seems too young for diamonds, but after that, I am not sure. Obviously I am years away from being a parent....so I have time to decide.

 

[Pandora II]

Date: 3/31/2008 1:47:28 PM
Author: LegacyGirl

Date: 3/31/2008 1:24:07 PM
Author: Pandora II
I wasn''t allowed to have my ears pierced until I was 16 - and if I have daughters, ditto.

I wouldn''t give any child an expensive piece of jewellery until they were at least 21 - mainly because I wouldn''t want them to worry about losing it or it being stolen and them being very upset.

I do have a set of Miki pearls put away for a future daughter''s 21st or as an engagement gift for a future daughter-in-law. Not sure what I''ll do if I end up with a gay son!

Keep them for the granddaughter when that time comes?


You crack me up!

Um, not sure biology is sufficiently advanced for that one yet!

 

[sumbride]

Date: 4/7/2008 1:27:54 PM
Author: Pandora II

Date: 3/31/2008 1:47:28 PM

Author: LegacyGirl

Date: 3/31/2008 1:24:07 PM

Author: Pandora II

I wasn''t allowed to have my ears pierced until I was 16 - and if I have daughters, ditto.


I wouldn''t give any child an expensive piece of jewellery until they were at least 21 - mainly because I wouldn''t want them to worry about losing it or it being stolen and them being very upset.


I do have a set of Miki pearls put away for a future daughter''s 21st or as an engagement gift for a future daughter-in-law. Not sure what I''ll do if I end up with a gay son!

Keep them for the granddaughter when that time comes?



You crack me up!

Um, not sure biology is sufficiently advanced for that one yet!

well, that guy on Oprah is pregnant.... but I think she was alluding to adoption.

 

[Rhea]

No, I wouldn''t buy my hypothetical child diamond earrings.

At a very young age, maybe 5-8 years old I had a 10K yellow gold small locket on a necklace. I wore is for several years to church or other very special occasions as supervised by my parents. I still have it.

I think that how old should be before they are trusted with such things depends on the child. I''d say, generally, not before 16 for something expensive or big. Semi-inexpensive silver or gold jewellery at a younger age is fine to me though.

I bought my first diamond earrings at age 19 and my second ones at age 20 (lost them last year). That age sounds about right to me.

 

[oobiecoo]

Date: 3/31/2008 11:11:33 AM
Author: AmberWaves
I definitely wouldn''t, partially because I''m afraid that any child I''d have would inherit my insane ability to lose any and everything on her person. Heck, I''m 28, and I have lost my own studs a couple of times and I never take them out! I agree with the previous posters regarding setting a precedent, as I''ve seen this first hand. I babysat my cousin a lot during my teens, and she was one of those kids who has everything she''s ever asked for, even the things she didn''t. At 8 she had her own credit card, at 12 she was allowed to buy anything she wanted. And now at 20, she''s completely ungrateful with a taste in material items that runs in the high thousands monthly. She still lives at home (not an issue, I did, too), but dropped out of college, doesn''t have a job, and yet was rewarded with a new Lexus. Girl is lazy and greedy. Sure, this may be one of those rare instances, but giving the kid credit and diamonds when she was 6/8 created a monster. All IMO, of course.

ETA: Perhaps I''d buy a little sparkle for her when she reached her teens, as I was given my grandma''s wedding band at that age, although I was terrified to actually wear it for fear of (as I said earlier) losing it.

I had my own credit card at age 11 but I think I turned out alright. I had my ears pierced when i was 2 and my parents bought me tiny diamond studs(maybe .10 total) for Christmas one year... I was about 8 I guess. I could wear them anytime I wanted to but I understood that they were very special and I never lost them. I think I will probably give my kids diamond studs or maybe one of the sterling rings with tiny diamond from Tiffanys when they are young, depending on their level of maturity. They won''t get anything too blingy though...

I do know one girl who got a diamond rolex for her 8th grade graduation

. She lost it when she was at the Mercedes dealer

getting an oil change...